Emotional Heartstrings

Here I am, just twiddling my fingers on a Saturday night cuz I have apparently run out of things to do and I thought, "Wait a minuteeeee, didn’t I used to be obSESSED with tumblr?!”

Yes, indeed I was.

I suppose it’s a testament to how busy I was the past few years and needed to stay off of time/energy-draining practices. Welp I’m back now bitches. For how long? Who knows. But it’s probably not a bad idea to try to document some of the goings on of my life! I’ll look back when I’m 50 and laugh at how silly and dumb I was as a 30yo. Can ya believe it, I hit 30!! And I’m a doctor now. Ooooohwee! The years keep coming and they don’t stop comin - Smash Mouth had it right. Ok well I have to go finish brushing my teeth now but this is the beginning of my comeback! Whoo!!!

WOw! How is it February already! I’m going to be 27 in a couple weeks! Crashing into my late 20s with not much to show for it :O

Emotional age: 17 Mental age: 42 Biological age: fuckin 70

2nd year of med school is tough man. I don’t even have time for tumblr. T_T But at least I’ll be going back to California in a few short months for rotations! Can’t get out of this shithole soon enough. All this snow and being surrounded by Trump-supporters is really taking a toll on my white-hair count. 

You know how when you receive a “Most Improved” award, it’s kinda like, oh thanks... I didn’t know I was literal shit in the beginning lol. That’s like me with makeup. I must look plain AF without it xD judging from some reactions I have seen. Oh well. I ain’t got time fo dat.

Everyone has their own story. You never know what might be going on behind someone’s smile. Be kind. Stay compassionate. 

"It will rain." they say. They say that every day. And every day, you wait. How long have you waited? You don't know anymore.

You stop at a dusty intersection. At all corners, there are people with fruit stands. The cherries are 2 dollars a pound. You see the sign saying no stands. You look to the police. They have one too. The strawberries are a dollar a basket.

You're walking in LA along Hollywood Boulevard. You walk along the stars. It feels like forever. So many and yet so many still. You eventually find your own name on one for film. You have never been in a movie. Or so you think.

"Let's go to In-N-Out," says your friend. Which one? There are no other burger places around. There is only In-N-Out. There is always only In-N-Out.

You walk past a person in a Dodgers hat. Not uncommon. Everyone owns one. Everyone you walk past wears one. You reach up onto your head. You are one of them.

You go to a restaurant with a friend. Everything is gluten free. You don't mind. Everything is. What even is gluten? You don't know, but you are horrified by it.

The beach is nice in the summer. The beach is nice in spring. The beach is nice. The beach is your friend, your overlord. You must respect it. Bow to it before stepping on its sandy shores.

You get onto the 405. Siri says you only go 5 miles before getting off on the exit ramp. It has been decades since she said that last. Your hands are old and wrinkled as they grip the wheel. Siri says you have 4 miles to go. It's faster than usual.

You park your car on the side of the road and get out. The beach. You look at the top of your car to find a surfboard. You don't own a surfboard. You do now and have accepted it as your new way of life. You go to put on your wetsuit.

Your friend says she has tickets to the next concert. You ask where. She laughs. It is everywhere. The Bowl. The Forum. Staples Center. It is everywhere at once. All concerts are.

You debate on where to go for summer vacation. The fight ensues. Magic Mountain, Knott's Berry Farm, Universal Studios, and Disneyland. They fight for your affection and your money for when summer comes. This happens every year.

The palm tree outside your window waves at you in the wind. The palm trees are your ever present, looming protector. They are always watching.

You hear the chiming of the elotero's cart. You grab your money and run out the door. There is no elotero. The bell still rings. It always rings.

Second year is so much chiller than first year. Glad that shit is over with. I don’t care about my grades as much, so I feel more free to do fun stuff! 

Like the Wild Med Conference, where I learned how to start a fire and tie a bunch of knots:

Here’s the LECOM Seton Hill NAMI club repping at the Pittsburgh NAMI5K:

I was even able to head back home to Cali for a bit <3:

Cultured myself by visiting the Mattress Factory in Pittsburgh:

Helped out at the white coat ceremony for the first years:

Still walking these poor puppers:

Looking back on these past few months, I am so grateful that I lead a charmed life. There have been so many tragedies recently, and it makes me wonder if our planet’s going to last long enough for me to be a doctor on it. Or if I’ll even be able to become a doctor. Who knows. Maybe I’ll get cancer, or lose my limbs, or come down with a crippling anxiety disorder. Could happen.