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@chuunyu
"I thought she might like bjd customization for some reason"

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it really is just such a baffling paradox that one of the most thought-out and tasteful depictions of transfemininity i've ever seen, with the appropriate care and tact put into every bit of her story, is contained within a game that's simultaneously too cowardly to actually like. say that she's a trans woman. but, like, it's still clear that the people making the game think that she is? they wouldn't be calling her a girl in the game files or referring to her group with "kanojotachi" otherwise?? and yet the degendering persists. it's SO FUCKING WEIRD
like. you would think that that would automatically disqualify it from being good rep, and honestly it's not entirely unfair to think that way? but at the same time, her story displays such a vivid understanding of what transmisogyny is and how that makes a girl interface with the world that it's impossible for me to disregard. it's just this bizarre asterisk of "the en translation insists on they/themming her and you kinda just have to ignore that"
one might think it's akin to losing at chess to a dog but it needs to be stressed just how much this story and writing is deeply informed by an understanding of transmisogyny that I can't even think of any other piece of media that quite thoroughly understands it to the same extent, and yet it's a game that's too afraid to have anything to do with the word 'trans'. it seems like losing at chess to a dog but it's as if the dog is actually a grandmaster chess player and you're trying to convince everyone else that this dog has given some of the best games of chess you've ever played and could go toe to toe with actual world champions, but then the dog pisses on a hydrant and sniffs your ass like you're stuck in some sort of 90s talking dog comedy movie hell
dear mortis
💜🩷 decora mizuena🩷💜
I'm new idek how Tumblr works but hiii !!
The oh so holly jolly Ininia

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Together, we will bloom in the spring
I love fem elias they're the gender of all time
mizuki makes such a good study of how fandom parses/engages with gender and the nuances of ambiguity around womanhood especially when transfemininity is involved.
i think about this so much in the context of mizuki's gender being listed as "unknown" and how trans ppl often cannot talk about their gender even if they wish to? even if a trans woman wants to be properly recognized as a type of woman, the world isn't really a safe space that she can comfortably be like "i'm a woman" bc if she were to do this she might either be accused of lying or being male. this reality is precisely why mizuki always avoids making definitive statements like this so she opts to saying things like "i'm just me" or "i just like cute things" bc she can't assert her identity without any pushback and she doesn't want anyone else to decide her self for her (there's also a lot to say about this in the context of transmisogynistic caricatures/stereotypes in anime & manga and how they're often subjected to "humor" that draws attention to their "maleness" and how mizuki as a fan of anime, films, etc. uses her genre awareness to navigate the world but that's a different topic).
i also think ppl often don't go up to others and say "i'm a girl! i'm a woman." bc that just isn't how ppl tend to talk? literally no girl in this game introduces or talks about herself in that way. the idea that mizuki has to use that kind of language to be legitimized in the first place is inherently disrespectful to her as a person especially as someone who's tired of having to explain herself or feel like she constantly has to prove something to ppl who don't even care enough to listen. she also doesn't think "why don't ppl see me as a girl" and instead she's thinking "why can't ppl accept me for who i am" bc it isn't just about Being a Girl, it's about how being transfem affects that perception. it's about how even when someone sees her as a girl, there's that asterisk. she doesn't know how to reach point of feeling like she's truly accepted bc of this and the closest she's gotten is niigo seeing her as a cis girl, which isn't even subtext, it's just implicit to the entire premise of her narrative.
so even if mizuki doesn't directly say "bc i'm a girl" or "accept me as a girl" when her classmates ask her why she does the things she does, it's a huge mistake to assume that she doesn't wish to be recognized as one bc this ignores wider context abt transmisogynistic hypersurveillance and objectification of transfemininity as a form of erasure of personhood and dehumanization? mizuki is someone who strives to assert her positionality as a woman as is both an assertion of how the standards of womanhood affect her and how she wishes to navigate the world as a woman in spite of this. this is made even more interesting by the parallels with mafuyu whose character arc is largely about how womanhood as a coercive state is pushed upon her by her mother and society, but it's also equally pushed upon mizuki as a trans girl very violently and is an aspect of transmisogyny, and trans women inherently fail to attain the standard of womanhood while being policed for this, so mizuki's position as a woman is against the imposition of womanhood (mizuki even when being "cute" is still not the ideal girl, bc her idea of fashion is lolita, and we know how lolita exists within so much of broader culture being for non-conformity and reclaiming femininity). there are always ppl trying to argue that mizuki can't be trans or that ppl are "boiling her down to her gender" (which is just pressure to stop calling her a girl) bc mizuki never explicitly said that she wanted to be recognized as a girl, she said that he just wanted to be herself, and she said that she likes cute things, so she is not trans, right? this is obviously transmisogyny, but such interpretations are interesting on the metatextual level to me bc they're the same form of transmisogyny that mizuki is subjected to within the story in that they're all saying "it would be a pain to be a girl, so you should just be content with being a 'boy' [Abnormal girl, nonperson, thing] who just likes cute things or some other ambiguous existence." bc these ppl refuse to engage with how the primary groups who know mizuki never draw attention to these things bc they see her as a girl and the thing about day to day life is that we all have to make assumptions to some degree about ppl we don't know or aren't close to based on their external presentation. however, we also have an understanding of mizuki's internal world.
I mean I think basically the thing Mizuki is afraid of is being relegated to the transmisogynistic archetype of the deceptive trans woman, the “trap,” that her every expression of identity as a girl, her every effort to portray herself as she is and wants to be seen, will be superceded by a single moment of “truth,” a reduction to the sex she was coercively assigned at birth as what she immutably is, relegating her existence as a girl as she’s been seen up until now retroactively “deception.”
And that fear, that internalization of the only story girls like her are allowed, is why she frames it as a secret in the first place, and why she’s terrified to disrupt Ena and Niigo’s perception of her as a cis girl. Because anything less than being fully accepted as a girl like the rest of them, picking up on even the slightest thought in their minds that she isn’t really what she presents herself as, isn’t just making her future with Niigo uncomfortable as they adjust to the “change,” it’s completely destroying everything they ever had and ever will have.
Years of being herself, of being liked for being herself, a thousand precious moments, irreversibly ruined in the instant they find out that she’s not cis. If they think of her as having lied to them by being who she is, if they feel betrayed by her existence, if they feel catching shrapnel of the vitriol aimed at her for her position as a trans woman is burdensome, if they regard her femininity as less “real” than theirs, as even the slightest flicker they smother because they do genuinely care about her, how could she possibly bear that? Knowing that she’ll never get what she lost back, the understanding extended to her on the presumption of her being a cis woman.

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hii I just wanted to say that your art looks very soft and pretty!
Thank you so much !! 🤍 🤍
Mafuyu Asahina has it all. Pressure of societal expectations. Child abuse. Trauma. Stressed out of her mind. Literal and metaphorical masking. Constantly balancing a dozen spinning plates with knives all over the floor type shit. She can be a system. She can even be transgender. Her girlfriend is a hikikomori who makes music and eats instant ramen as 90% of her diet. Her two other friends are both dating and one of them is canonically transgender. She subconsciously assigned all of her group to different animals. She gets five hours of sleep every night. She's even the color purple
Don't use my body.

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music
Please, don't let this night end.