Chuck's Journal

“Are you fucking kidding me right now Derek?” Stiles yells, voice reaching the point where it starts to go pitchy. The tension is high and thick and buzzing in the air, accumulated from the past half hour of fighting with only their words for weapons. 

Which between them is much sharper than tooth or claw anyway. 

“There was something off about him,” Derek tells him resolutely, arms crossed firmly over his chest. He’s a bit louder than usual, but he’s nowhere near as animated in his anger as Stiles. Not that that’s a difficult feat. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Stiles lets out a wordless little screech, so frustrated that he’s having trouble forming actual syllables instead of angry, animal sounds. “Dude, I want you to apologize! He was the first fucking normal person I’ve met since I was sixteen years old! And you just—you pissed all over it!” 

“You want normal Stiles? The door is right fucking there,” Derek replies, jaw clenched and hand gesturing to the loft’s exit. “No one is forcing you to be here. No one has ever forced you to be here.” 

Stiles goes still at the words. His whole body seems to relax, even the little tick in his jaw. He stares hard at Derek’s face, eyes flicking from left to right as he examines him. Picks him apart. Takes him in.

A humorless laugh falls from his slack mouth. “You’re a fucking idiot,” he says finally, turning with a shake of his head and slamming the door behind him. 

Derek feels the fight leave his body in a rush, like a dam finally crumbling under the weight of rough and angry waters. He scrubs a hand down his face.

He hadn’t meant to ruin Stiles’ date. He’s just so…stupidly in love with the kid. And the jealousy went howling viciously through his veins and clouded his head like thick, hot smoke and he’d just—

The pitter-patter of gentle rain against his window suddenly becomes a roar as the sky cracks open and pours down on the city. 

And Stiles doesn’t have his Jeep with him. 

Derek follows the path the boy took out of the building, takes the steps two at a time to gain a little time, plunges into the cold rain like ripping off a band aid. A little ways in front of him, Stiles’ red over shirt, obscured a little by the downpour, is trudging forward. 

"Stiles!” Derek yells over water pelting the pavement with a sound like displaced static. “Stiles!”

“What?!” Stiles snaps, body whipping around to face him. “What do want Derek?!”

They’re standing so much closer than they had been, emotions crackling like electricity between them. “I don’t—”

“I can’t keep doing this,” Stiles cuts him off, motioning wildly to the space between them. 

"What’s ‘this’?” he asks, voice soft and even against Stiles’ rough and warbling. 

“This thing where I’m…completely in love with you and you refuse to let me move on!”

Derek’s caught a little breathless, eyes focusing on the slick pink of Stiles’s lips, on the droplets that pool in his philtrum, collecting in the bow of his upper lip. 

"You want to move on?" 

"Of course I do Derek! This unrequited thing is bullshit!”

"I love you too.”

“It’s not cute! It hurts and it just keeps hurting no matter how m—”

But Derek drinks the rest of his words right out of Stiles’ mouth, lips colliding with his and arms snaking around his waist like he’s trying to meld them into one being. 

Stiles tries to finish his sentence at first, words muffled and unintelligible, before his body catches up with Derek’s. He pulls back just enough to get his arms up and around Derek’s neck, suddenly returning the kiss with hard ferocity. Devouring it. Swallowing it down. His body is cold and wet but Derek’s mouths is hot, and his hand is curled in the fabric at Derek’s shoulder, and the werewolf’s tongue is fucking Stiles’ mouth, and his hand comes up from the boys back to cradle the base of his skull, and it’s…it’s not perfect. 

But somehow it is. 

Between kisses, Stiles tells Derek, “I don’t want normal.”

PART 1/? OF REGAN FIC RECS//in no particular order//includes mine cause im a lil doucher//more to come

1. RED CANYON OUTLAW [theredbandit]

Rick is a Sheriff’s Deputy of a small Nevada town named Red Canyon. Negan is an Ex-MLB player who drives through Red Canyon determined to make an impression. Neither are expecting what happens next. Written by my best bud.  

2. BLUE JELLO [negickapologist]

Negan is forced to go on a cruise by his best friend Simon, and very early on in the trip he meets Rick. The new friends spend the cruise together. I’m super biased since this was inspired by a small part in LLABC but you have to read it. It’s written beautifully and easily one of my faves. 

3. LUCKY LIKE A BLACK CAT [sinners0prayer]

Negan moves into the house across the street from Rick, and Rick finds himself slowly falling for the man everyone else hates.

4. SHELTER FROM THE STORM [sodium_amytal]

This has to be everyone’s OG au fic right? Negan is Carl’s coach, and trouble ensues when Negan ends up in the drunk tank /and/ when Rick actually finds he’s falling for the one guy he can’t tell anyone about. 

5. THE TRUTH [hatterized]

Everyone and their distant alien cousin has read this according to the hits, but if you haven’t, what are you waiting for? Rick is forced in a marriage with Negan in order to save his family. Rick isn’t ready for what he ends up finding out, or feeling, about Negan. 

6. THE WORKING DEAD [arcade_android]

One of the fics that inspired me originally. Rick, and everyone else, have to learn to adjust to their new Store Manager, Negan. It’s a one-sided Negan to Rick AU that is just beautiful. Everyone gets a bit of the pie but the main focus is Negan’s relationship with the rest of the cast, primarily Rick.

7. READY FOR ANOTHER LIFE [sinners0prayer]

AU where canonverse Rick wakes out of a coma to find himself in a non-ZA world where he’s engaged to Negan. He needs to figure out what’s going on and why any version of himself would fall for a man like Negan.

8. THE LAND OF MILK AND HONEY [sirachamuchacha]

Also reading some Blade Runner 2049 fic because OFFICER K DESERVE A BETTER FATE!!!

like a disease 

I’ve just crossed the border! Lo and behold the wonderful land of farms and nothing else haha! Looks like we’ll be making camp somewhere here for the night.

I’ve just crossed the border! Lo and behold the wonderful land of farms and nothing else haha! Looks like we’ll be making camp somewhere here for the night.

Any of you want to play a fun game with me haha? Here’s the deal, we’re all gonna wear a mask and spread some positivity! Anyone who wants to join in simply needs to take this image, make it their profile picture, and start sending out messages of support to anyone and everyone! Happiness ensues!

YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ME HAHA

YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ME HAHA

YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ME HAHA

YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ME HAHA

YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ME HAHA

YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ME HAHA

YOU

ALL

LOOK

JUST

LIKE

A/N: haha, I twisty twist a little bit, but I like this idea! Let me know what you think.

“Wait. I have seen what these brave souls are prepared to do.”

Your heart clenched as the voice of the late King Regis echoed around you—within you. Nyx looked at you as if to confirm if you had heard him too. He was a grand king who had sacrificed much to keep his son safe and your heart clenched to hear him speak again.

“They, too seek to safeguard the future.”

Nyx’s hand curled tightly around yours, the band of the Ring of Lucii burned into your flesh. You hated that you hadn’t been quick enough to stop him from slipping the ring on, but you understood the call and desperation of duty. You weren’t sure why you could see the Kings as Nyx could, but you weren’t going question it now.

One of the Old Kings huffed. “Our boon does not come cheap, young warriors. The cost is a life—his or hers.”

The images of Libertus and Lunafreya appeared before the both of you. The logical choice would have been to sacrifice Libertus’ life, but he was like a brother. Lunafreya was the future, her life couldn’t be a choice. Nyx shook his head and the two of you answered at the same time, “No.”

The Old King grew impatient with your indecisiveness and scowled. “Burn.”

Nyx howled as his hand was set on fire, shaking your hand free so you wouldn’t be hurt too.

“Stop—stop it!” You turned to the King and screamed. “You won’t defend the future and you’ll kill those who want to—what kind of Kings are you?!” There had to be a way to stop all of this. A sacrifice, there had to be a sacrifice. You didn’t want Libertus or Lunafreya to die. There was no way you could let the love of your life sacrifice his and you knew that was what Nyx was thinking.

You felt him clutch at the tails of your Kingsglaive coat. Needless to say, he knew what you were thinking too. “No. I know what you’re thinking and you won’t be the sacrifice.” He ground out, “My life means nothing—”

“You asshole, your life is everything to me!” Despite everything that was happening, you turned to punch him in the arm. It was a reactive thing, something you did all the time when Nyx said things you didn’t like. “My life is nothing if you’re not in it.”

A bell-like laugh rang around you. “Such devotion.” Another of the Old King’s spoke. “My, it’s not oft you see such a thing.” She sounded less supportive and kind and more amused. She was not empathetic to your situation, but found it funny. “I know, we should test the strength of your devotion.”

You weren’t keen to play a game with any of the powerful beings because you knew that you’d lose in the end, but you were desperate. “How?”

“If your life is nothing without the one who currently bears the Ring, then use your beautiful memories of him to give it power. That shall be your sacrifice.” The Old King announced gleefully. “Yes!”

“No!” Nyx pulled at your shoulder so you’d face him. He ignored the searing pain of his burning hand, the creeping flames slowly moving up his arms. “No—no, you won’t—you can’t—take my memories instead! I’m the one with the Ring!”

“Silence!” The flames suddenly burst and burned brighter, stronger and much faster. Nyx howled in pain and in anger. “I have offered them the deal—not you.” The Old King hissed. “Choose.”

“You can’t. I won’t use you like this.” Nyx’s words sounded weak. “I promised I wouldn’t hurt you—you made me promise. I won’t—” If both of you survived, what then? If you had no memory of him, how could the two of you go on? There wouldn’t be anything between you—there wouldn’t be an ‘us’. 

What was the point?

“Don’t be stupid.” In the split second between making up your mind and standing to accept the Old King’s deal, your mind raced with memories of you and Nyx. The times you were happy, the times you fought, the moment the two of you confessed, your first clumsy kiss. Everything. There wasn’t anything you regretted when it came to your relationship with Nyx.

Nyx watched your mouth move in acceptance of the deal and his heart broke. You turned to smile and say something to him, just as time began to move and power flooded his being.

“He has until dawn breaks, but only darkness awaits you.” The Old King cackled.

★★★★★

You were dazed as you woke. You felt like you were floating or maybe things didn’t feel real. Nothing hurt. The room was bright and smelled clean or floral or something. You blinked as you took in the sight of the ceiling. You turned your head slowly to see the curtains of the window gently shifting with the cool breeze. There were flowers in your room, brightly coloured ones. They looked pretty.

Everything was… good.

You shifted to sit up in your bed, confused as to what to think. You couldn’t really think. It was like your mind was hollow, you reached and grabbed at thin air in a room that you knew was meant to have things in it. You touched some things, your name, your age—but everything else was fuzzy.

The door to your room rattled gently as the handle was slowly turned. Something inside of you jumped and said to prepare. Prepare for what? Also, how? You clutched tightly at your bed sheets and eyed the vase beside your bed. You could throw it if you had to? Maybe. The door opened and you subconsciously held your breath.

“Oh—you’re awake!” The man who entered looked amazed to see you sitting up. He took some quick strides towards you, but when you shrunk back as if wanting to get away, he stopped. His face fell and he closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head. “Right.”

“Who are you?” You asked carefully. “Where am I?”

It hurt Nyx to hear you ask those questions, the former in particular. He had foolishly hoped that maybe something of your memory of him would have stayed, but the Old Kings really had taken everything from you. “I’m Nyx. We’re in Lestallum.” He carefully approached the chair next to your bed and slowly sat down.

He was watching you very carefully, which made you feel slightly uneasy. At least that was what you thought you were feeling. Your stomach twisted—fluttered—slightly. “Nyx.” You repeated his name slowly. Your mouth opened and closed because you felt like there was another name after that, but you didn’t know what it was. “Nyx.” The second time you said it, it felt a bit better than the first.

You offered your name and Nyx smiled. It made you feel even more strange. He was handsome, with broad shoulders, strong stubbled jaw and pale blue eyes. Your eyes lingered on the markings on his face—maybe a little too long.

Nyx grinned. “Somethin’ on my face?” He ran his hand along his mouth and jaw as if to wipe away any debris. His grin made you blush and you looked away with a mumbled ‘sorry’. “It’s alright.” He wanted to say something flirtatious but thought better of it because of your current state. “I’m glad you’re awake. You’re not hurtin’ or anything?”

“No.” You wrinkled your nose. “I don’t—think so?” You couldn’t describe how you were feeling. Like you knew something was missing, but nothing was. How you were hollow in a way, but definitely not. Some weird contradiction.

“That’s good.” Nyx chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, not really knowing how to continue a conversation with you. It had been such a long, long time since the first time you had met and he couldn’t remember it clearly. Had it always been so awkward trying to talk? “I’ll uh—leave you to rest a bit longer.”

A small bout of panic rose in you as he got up to leave. You weren’t sure where it came from or why you were suddenly worried about this stranger leaving, but you couldn’t stop yourself as you called out. “Nyx.” His hand was on the door, ready to go, but he turned back to you. “Will you come back to visit? Please?”

He seemed surprised with a question, but then gave you a brilliant smile—and a wink, which made you blush again. “You got it. I’ll be back later.”

Alone again, your worried hands tugged at the sheets, not knowing what to do or how to feel. Something was different, but you couldn’t remember how.

★★★★★