Bad Comic Anon

Chapter 2 of somethin

How about that

It's not too good but if you want to kill time

I'm still on a sonic hiatus for the most part but wanted to make something to get some writing going

Taking a break, hiatus time

Hi guys

I’ve been posting about Sonic here and other places for over 4 years. I think I’ve knackered myself out, in all honesty. I need to stop focusing so much on a kids game from 1991.

For anyone who still follows me, thank you, honestly. And to everyone who liked my stuff.

For those who actually wanted to see Amy Jam, dear lord I’m so sorry. For those that liked my bad drawings, honestly, cheers, they were fun to make. For those who read my stories, thanks for taking the time, I hope you enjoyed them.

I have put my FF link up in case anyone wants to kill time and read something, I don’t think they’re going to be updated for some time.

I think I’m going to work on other things. Building something or writing something original. Should be fun.

I might come back to this tumblr in the future, no point deleting it after all.

Have fun out there guys, will see you when I come back.

For the love of god let them die

Look, I like the Freedom Fighters. More the reboot than the preboot, they have less baggage, but still, I respect what they did. But if you’ve read my other dumb things you also know I think Red Dwarf USA had a real chance of working, so maybe I’m just insane.

Either way, this whole Rally For Sally business has been going around and disturbing the usual culprits from their dens and I feel I should say something.

“The American Canon“

This is a stupid sentence and yet thrown around as you like. There is no American canon, there is just “The Canon” and “Non-canon.” Believe it or not, the people who make the product get to decide what’s done with it and what is canon.

If you made something and then in France they made an entirely different story with concepts and themes you didn’t want to explore, you’d be hesitant about including or acknowledging it. Same with Sega of Japan.

But then why did Sega allow this to be made?

Well, I think this needs a tad bit of history behind it.

We’re going to the 90′s

Denim was in, the future was here, everything in 2000′s would be chrome and the Y2k bug was on the horizon.

Ohno

But Sega of Japan had an issue. Their arcade machines were selling like nobody’s business but they wanted that sweet console piece of the pie, but had no winning mascot. Alex Kidd, unfortunately, wasn’t moving as many consoles as they had hoped, god knows not enough to rival Mario.

They needed something cool, something different, somethi- It’s Sonic. You know it is, I know it is, I ain’t dragging this on.

It did well enough in Japan, but Sega was focusing on international markets with this game. It had a somewhat universal design, helped by the basis being Felix and Mickey Mouse which were popular around the world, with catchy songs based on both Japanese and American releases from the past.

It was going to be a hit.

Or... was it?

Did they need to do more?

Well, Sega doesn’t just have Sega of Japan. It had SOE and SOA as well. Europe and America respectively. Others too I’m sure but my memory’s off.

SoA and SoJ had a somewhat shaky relationship with each other, but then again, so did other companies back then. It was a new foray into public relations. Japan built the consoles that actually sold, America had to sell them, but there was a big gap between the countries, how things were interpreted, different values, and let’s not forget, American pride and greed.

AMERICA in the 90′s

SOJ needed this thing to sell big. Sonic was going to be a global success if they could help it. And let’s be honest, it was.

America had it’s own plans on what Sonic should be, and SOJ actually listened to some of them. Madeline Schroeder, product manager at the time for Sega in the US, actually went to Japan to say what she thought Sonic would be. As of this, they removed Madonna and Sonic’s tie-in with a band, as well as changing certain design traits in the US because “Sonic looked too Japanese.“

And then had the gall to call herself the “Mother Of Sonic”

Again, in a world where shitting on other people’s culture is a big no-no, and for good reason, how that managed to be fine is insane.

It’s a Japanese fucking product, Madeline.

Alongside this, as SOA hadn’t had much access to the Japanese backstories (although, the manuals should have been fine enough), when it came to marketing the games as an ongoing story (and ready in time for the cartoons they wanted to push) SOA made their own Sonic Bible, for use outside of non-Japanese territories.

This would have the seeds of what most people know, Freedom Fighters, Eggman once being good, Sonic being part of the good fight, etc.

[Astoundingly, when they made the cartoons and everything, Fleetway would be the one to actually stick closer to this than Archie/Satam/Underground/Aosth ever did so who’s talking about canon now huh]

Japan didn’t really notice nor take heed. One could make a good case for their complete obliviousness to what SOA was doing. You can tell because absolutely nothing from the bible/comics/magazine ever appeared in a Japanese Sonic game. Spinball was Sega Technical Institute, an American Division. Not Sega of Japan.

On top of this, as I see a bunch of people who go “Sega is disrespecting the American canon”, interesting fact. In Europe and Japan, the manual for Sonic CD clearly states Amy Rose is in the game. Sega of America actually edited this to say Sally, despite not going through and changing the sprites. If that’s not disrespect towards the creators of the games I don’t know what is.

The Canon

The problem I find with this is that, let’s be honest, if we had to look at this from an objective viewpoint:

Japan released a game.

America sought to profit off it, but didn’t like it was very much Japanese, not American.

They changed the story to be more American themed, changed the art design to look more American drawn, and ignored the Japanese additions to the games by editing out the Japanese characters in the manuals.

Because they wanted to profit off a different culture’s work by changing it wholesale so it didn’t resemble the culture it came from.

Nothing about SatAm’s premise or creation says anything about the original material it came from, just heavily adapted without any input from it’s creators to resemble a more American product.

You know how Japan saw Sonic?

This cute lad who acted more like a cartoon Felix the Cat type figure.

Now I get it, especially in the 90′s, everyone was localising. The markets weren’t as much the same, god knows they gave Ratchet attack eyebrows to be appealing etc.

But this was so anti-Japanese that the fact they were profiting at all from a Japanese product is insane.

Adventure

Ha

Back in Japan in the 90′s, they didn’t really have much of an idea what they were doing with the canon. They had plans but they seemed to be not as stable as they would have liked. The amount of games they were pumping out with different Eggman attacks and characters and if the GG games fit in with the MD games-

They needed something a bit more stable.

So when it was their time for their biggest game yet, they started to reign things in. In Japan. In Europe.

In America.

Sonic Adventure would be the basis for the stories for the next decade or so, with some revisions on what came before, what was mainline, what have you.

At this point, SOA’s cartoons had all died and the only thing remaining in the Sonic canon from that time was the Archie comic, still ongoing. But yet America still pulled this stuff off.

In the original script, Eggman is still Eggman. None of this “I AM DOCTOR ROBOTNIK, GENIUS OF THE WORLD” schtick.

No changing the manuals this time at least, so they’re getting better.

Over time, the only surviving things to come out of the canon, which Sega was nice enough to do considering, was

- Chilli-dogs - I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG - Robotnik being Maria’s surname

Didn’t you have something to say about the Freedom Fighters?

Why yes I do.

So, the Freedom Fighters for me, as much as I like them as , represent an American centrism. Not only was America not a Sega dominated market, for Nintendo did better and Europe was buying Sega consoles like candy, but the characters and show weren’t that popular outside the country anyway.

Ask someone in Europe in the 90′s who Sally Acorn was and unless they had access to a specific channel they wouldn’t have the first idea. Amy Rose, for sure, she was in the games. 

I didn’t know who Sally was until Mega Collection Plus came out, and the UK STILL manages to get Sonic games in the top of the charts when they come out.

Aosth was shown more abroad with more appeal, the comics weren’t sold internationally, let alone in Japan.

To be all “But these characters cemented the Western fanbase” is mental.

The comics sold somewhere in the tens of thousands in their hey-day. At the same time, Sonic games were selling millions. The comic and show are so old that unless you were part of the 20,000 buying the comics recently or pirated them, you don’t even know who they are.

Fleetway was the only Sonic comic we got in the UK, and there’s more fans that have grown up with Sonic Adventure being the basis which had absolutely no inspiration from the Western products.

These characters are relics of America taking the mick out of a Japanese product in order to make more money and produce shows.

To say they’ve made a big impact on Sonic in the world is really stretching it.

F.A.Q

But you said you liked the FF’s!

I do, but in the same way I like AU’s. It was interesting, of it’s time and it said a lot about the culture it was made in. Like, comparable to Tails gets Trolled or Fleetway

B-but I really like the FF’s!

Good for you, don’t let me stop you. Again, I like a bunch of the stories.

Are you a Japanese purist?

Fleetway is cool and I liked the Boom show, and I liked Robotnik better than Eggman as a name.

I heard that some Japanese fans actually liked the FF’s though...

And more power to them. Again, Red Dwarf USA does a lot to shit on what made the UK version so good but I respect what it tried to do. Again, even I like the FF’s to an extent.

Why did you write this all out?

Seeing all this Rally for Sally has brought out all the insane people who shout at SOJ for being gits for not respecting the American canon despite the American canon being born from a disrespect to the Japanese creators.

What about IDW?

Ironically I actually liked Reboot more but also I was younger when I read them.

What do you think of Tangle and Whisper getting in?

I need to read more of IDW but they’re good enough. As for getting in the games, these designs were vetted and passed through SOJ first and the comic is overseen by them. On top of this, T+W don’t come from a place of SOA taking the mick.

But Sega has used these characters before and ESTABLISHED this as canon why are they changing it now-

I see this a lot, usually with certain people. Dobson’s a good example of why this is stupid. When the Japanese revert changes made to characters like Mario/Zelda/Samus by the West, they didn’t radically change their personalities, they just reset them to what Japan intended.

Japan never intended for the FF’s, the three heavily contrasting cartoons and Knuckles is Jesus Christ Superstar.

They just reverted him back to the sole guy on Angel Island.

Do you think Sally should get in to Sonic Dash?

No more than I think Tekno or Sonia does. They’re old, irrelevant, gone. If they do get brought in for a cameo I’d be happy enough, I like dumb nods to non-canon things.

However, there are crazy people out there and you give them an inch and they’ll take a mile. Best to leave it.

Hotel?

Yo

So I had to read up on this one because my early Archie Sonic knowledge is abysmal.

Firstly, Robotnik is the stand-out star in this one, for “I’d be overjoyed Snively... if joy wasn’t against my laws!” I love the Saturday morning cartoon villainy of pre-40′s Julian

Onto the actual question though

So, Preboot Archie Sally as a robot would probably be smart thinking and actually know how to play up the role so that Robotnik would believe she was in control. But it’s Early Archie so things like 

“Now Sally, tell me I’m the greatest!” “Not likely!” “What was that?” “I mean, you’re the greatest. Boop.” “Snively, I think my hearing’s going!“

I feel that they’d do a good number on the base before Julian found out. Sonic and Bunnie helping smash stuff as Princess Sally is all “I’ll get em boss.” and causing more destruction in the process. But it would be either Antoine or Tails that screws it up somehow by outwardly saying “I CANNOT BELIEVE ZEE PRINCESSES PLAN WORKED” or something stupid, so Julian would work it out and use the de-roboticiser himself against Sally to stop their plans. 

Now that they’re all back to being Mobian, Julian would corner them with a roboticised Mobian, and threatening to fully roboticise the FF’s this time, crushing the neuro-thing under his foot.

Dulcy flies in the nick of time and uses the de-roboticiser she owns to de-roboticise the mobian, allowing Sonic and co to escape in the time it takes Julian to call his Swatbots in.

Return to status quo, they now have a mobian who has inside information on Eggman’s plans/base, Dulcy gets to be useful, and they forgive Antoine slightly because new person is cool too.

I’ve realised that from my previous rant about Doctor Who, particularly Jodie’s seasons, might make it seem like I don’t value Jodie as highly as other Doctors.

That is most definitely not the case.

Every Doctor has to deal with some bad writing. I’m upset that Jodie has had to deal with more.

However, I fully believe they’ve never cast anyone other than great people for the Doctor. And that goes for Jodie too. She’s an exceptional actress and a great person.

(Long post)

(Sorry)

Introduction

I decided, still being locked down, to watch some Doctor Who.

Hadn’t watched it in a while, told myself I’d always catch up when I had the time, and the universe decided to give me a lot of it.

I had stopped watching Matt quite some time ago, but caught up about 4 years ago to Capaldi’s first season. I had meant to carry on with it but slow-going times and I forgot and all the other jazz that fills in the space between not doing things.

But I thought I’d storm through them and get them over with. I had heard bad things going onwards, but hey, I’m one of those sad losers that LIKE Love and Monsters. It’s not great but I thought what it did well, it did great.

So, off I went to finally catch up on a show that formulated so much of my younger self, my love for time-travel, interesting sci-fi that ended up getting me into the genre, and a love for character interactions and lore.

I went through Capaldi, and his last two seasons, yeah, they had an odd episode here and there, Sleep No More is a disaster, but I carried on through. I’m a trooper, I got through Fear Her after all.

But I fell in love with the Doctor again. Heaven Sent is easily the best DW has offered so far, the character building with him and Clara and Bill and hell, Nardole, are superb. The stories were interesting, the Doctor was great and evolved, and the companions were the perfect fit for Capaldi.

And then, after a brilliant goodbye, he was gone.

“Be kind.“

And here we go, we’re with Jodie, she’s northern, she’s confused, and she’s in need of some pockets, falling through the sky, yeah, 200 degrees that’s why they call her missus fahrenheit-

Not Jodie, but Chibnall

I’m not going to drag this out too far, I ain’t gonna make you read this for ages just to see if I like it. If you don’t want to see me complain about two seasons, this is your point to head out.

I think these are the lowest series of Modern Doctor Who.

But like the title says, it’s not Jodie’s fault. She’s an amazing actress, and she plays the part well. Hell, so does Bradley, Tosin and Mandip. Each one of them is a good actor and when the scene calls for them, they pull it off well.

The issue here is the writing.

And I feel I should go through why I think that.

But first, I think I should point out the good.

The Good: On historical topics and representation

This is the most diverse Doctor Who has been in a while. It was pretty diverse before mind you, let’s not forget the Doctor seems a bit flexible, the companions have been a mix of sexualities, gender, age and race, and each one of them is loved by many. Hell, Jack Harkness was so popular he got his own tv show.

But Thirteenth has gone and made sure that there was more.

Characters just pointing out they’re gay and it’s just a matter of fact. It’s a statement, not an argument, not being out there or subvertive, it just is. People are more than fine with this. 

I’m surprised Graham the bus driver is so accepting of everyone at the start, but it speaks testament to his character. He fell in love with Grace, he raised a son with a disability, he stands up for those that dare have a go at any of that. Graham didn’t have to grow to learn this in the Tardis, he was accepting from the get-go. 

Well, there’s some conflict about Ryan blaming things on Dyspraxia in the first episode but it comes out of a place of fear of their lives. But any tensions between them are resolved quite well, to the point they can count on each other.

Either way, representation is important and Jodie’s season has it in spades.

As for historical topics, the Doctor tackles them quite well. Honestly, the episodes in the past are her strong suit. And as she’s a woman now, she has a new battle against her. History wasn’t always kind, and the gag of them addressing Graham each time is a genuinely good idea.

Also, Rosa had the opportunity to be butchered. It could have been written badly, it could have been handled with hardly any care, but it was the standout episode of the season. Each character gets some good lines, the gang has to face moral decisions and it’s a genuinely good look into a past that America would sometimes like to forget.

As an aside, I think Bill, even as one character, explored the sexuality thing more and the diversity she faced from it, I think thirteenth doesn’t do a bad job. I liked the astronauts as shown above quite a bit to be fair.

Graham

The standout star of the show.

This will be unfortunately brought up in my negatives for the show too, but this is the good side.

Graham’s lost his wife, he has to connect to her grandson, his cancer is a constant worry in his head and he comes with the Doctor in an attempt to escape/confront all three.

He is the one who evolves the most as a character in the first season, coming to terms with the death of Grace is something he battles with throughout, he still blames himself. For whatever reason, even in the Rosa Parks episode, he gets the most emotional writing. Ryan and Yaz do get good writing in the same episode mind you, (which is unfortunately one of the few times Yaz does) but it’s heartbreaking to see Graham realise what he has to do.

The Acting

I unfortunately have to put Ryan, Yaz and the Doctor here in one group category. and I hate to do that, but I feel it’d be a disservice not to mention them.

Their actors can act well. When the script calls for it, they do amazing work.

The scene where Jodie is angry and confused at the other Doctor, where Ryan is actually there to support his friend, when Yaz is comforting Ryan about America, where Jodie is fucking pissed at the Master, all good scenes.

But this is a perfect segway into -

The Bad: Asides the retcon

Holy shit where do I start.

I mean, we’ve got the good out of the way, so you know where I stand on the issues a bunch of people wrong accused the show of being. A female doctor is more than fine, the diverse cast is great, the topics of exploring the past is done good.

And I’m not going into the retcon just yet, I feel like going ITS BAD BECAUSE OF THIS ignores so much of the problems to be had

But let’s start with

The Doctor

This should have been her outfit just saying

I find the best way of describing most of this doctors run so far is...

Imagine, if you will, that you need to write a Doctor Who book. They’ve given you a plot to go with, but they haven’t told you which Doctor it’s for. But tight schedules and they still haven’t told you, so you write up a draft. A template. But you leave the Doctor’s text ambiguous. A template for a Doctor. With some work, you could make it the 12th, the 5th, the 1st, once you add mannerisms and how the doctor would react personally in a situation. So you write in this template Doctor and go to sleep. But you wake up and your assistant has only gone and submitted it.

The Doctor is kinder than any other iteration of her Doctor, but that’s it. I get why the natural progression from Capaldi, and Jodie sells a nice Doctor superbly, but ... 

There’s nothing really there to distinguish her as her own Doctor. She’s nice, a bit confused, LOVES things and calls people fam.

But like, that’s it. Where the 9th had coldness, 10 had eccentric, 11 had old man and 12 was furious, Jodie has... nice. But a Doctor needs an edge. 

She’s quiet about her home life and she doesn’t really talk much to her companions about it, but like, that’s understandable, she doesn’t really talk one on one to them or even much about their home lives.

She doesn’t get an arc until Spyfall, and even then it’s largely just turned into “She’s well moody”, and apparently well moody is just being kinda quiet. Jodie says it right when she shouts at them in one scene “You don’t know me!”

And she’s right, but then the companions trust her with everything and they’re part of a FAM and super close but they don’t really talk with each other. Jodie doesn’t have these quiet talks like the other Doctors would have with the companions, it’s just... not there.

And because it’s not there we’re supposed to believe they think of themselves as a tightly knit group but also very apart as characters. And the companions, to their credit, try and confront her on it, but the conflict is over so quick as to not be there at all.

Yaz and Ryan

This is the best scene of them in, and one of the rare times Yaz makes an impact on a story which isn’t just supporting the Doctor

What they did to these two actors is cruel.

Ryan at least gets to join in on Grahams arc, because it is Grahams arc, not Ryans, really. There’s a plot about his Dad that’s done quite well, so that’s why Ryan doesn’t suffer the same poor fate as Yaz does.

Yaz has absolutely no agency. She wants to be a successful Policewoman but it’s not really much addressed outside of the first episode and the dream episode (which admittedly, is a good episode and explores each character). She gets told by everyone she’s the heart of the team and super brave and like, she hasn’t got an arc, she pretty much blindly follows the Doctor, she has no reason to be there much other than her family’s a bit annoying.

Her actress plays the scenes well, and there’s some touching moments with her in Rosa and the dream episode about how she is the way she is, why she does the things she does. But 2 episodes out of 20 isn’t enough.

Ryan gets a couple of good episodes, a touching one especially comes with horrors of the future and not being there for his friends plaguing his mind, and he manages to get help for his depressed friend, which is touching.

But the two episodes? That’s kind of it.

Ryan gets a nice Dalek episode though.

Orphan 55

The worst episode in Doctor Who. Took any good faith from Spyfall and plonked S12 in bottom tier before we even got to the retcon.

If I talked about everything it did wrong here this would go on too long.

It was just the worst 45 minutes of DW

At least Sleep No More was just boring.

Character Arcs, What Are They

Graham’s arms give out in season 1 for carrying the team.

The Doctor against Tim Shaw is laughable, there’s no conflict past killing a couple of people, so Graham has to have that moral dilemma instead, Ryan manages to respect him and call him gramps, but that’s more Grahams arc than Ryans. Yaz has nothing, the Doctor learns nothing.

But series 2, the Doctor’s given an arc, which is something, considering that before this it was a throwaway line about Timeless Child from a piece of cloth.

Gallifrey is gone again, the insurance rates at this point are through the roof on this planet, she’s been told the Master did it for learning a terrible truth. But she of course doesn’t explore the ruins until she has to, but ah well, we can live with that, that’s fine in Doctor Who. I’m not even being sarcastic, the Doctor through all iterations isn’t very clever.

It gives her a bit of a mood that’s not really explored too much past that, but then we’re given Jo Martin as The Other Doctor

My opinions on throwing in Doctors from the past aside, (I love you John Hurt but damnit), Jo plays a competent Doctor, and her attitude clashes so well with Jodie that both actresses get to act well in good written scenes.

But then she’s just very confused until Gallifrey rolls around again.

We’ll ignore the retcon, again, but once she learns she gets super fucking pissed. And for good reason. Against the Master, against the Time Lords, against everyone, she’s shouting at everything, lost in her life.

But it’s sorted out very quickly by Jo intervention and then she’s much the same as ever.

Well, I say that, what I mean is “Willing to burn and kill all life on Gallifrey” with a button press. Yeah I know that the Time Lords are dead and the Master is about to kill everyone but you wouldn’t let a Spider be shot through mercy killing and you expect me to jump to “Would absolutely murder the Master and desecrate the bodies of the Time Lords”

It doesn’t matter anyway, for she has not the will to do so.

But she lets someone else do it

For fucks sa-

And at the end, what has she learned? That the thing she only knew half an hour ago shouldn’t affect her, so back to status quo

Wasted potential - Monsters

Imagine a super cool idea for a monster? Cool, add it into an episode.

And now get rid of it super quickly or butcher the premise.

REGENERATING CYBERMEN? Let’s have one shoot the other to show how bad it would be and then kill them immediately.

The Pting, capabale of disrupting a ships infrastructure an- Nah, just dick around with the lights.

A TIME TRAVELLING RACIST WHO KNOWS HOW TO FUCK UP THE TIMELINE

Let’s not even reference him 15 episodes later

Cyberman hybrid? 

You get the idea.

The Master, or rather, the Missy Issue

The Master is putting on his best Simms Master homage, and like, I get it. It’s a good Master, and Sacha really puts his all into it.

I can only hope that this Master is before Yana. Missy’s exit was poetic, done well. Of course, just when she could feel ok joining the Doctor, the obstacle in her way was herself. 

It’s not even the fact she died and why is he back now, it’s ... this Master has almost no nuance to him. He wants the Doctor to know the truth, which is at least some Master motives, but then its just wanton destruction for the sake of it. Like Simms but “what if we made him more crazy” The Master is more than this, can be more than this. It was nice seeing Jodie try and relate to him but this Master has thrown out three years of compelling evolution of the character. To throw it all out seems ... odd.

I can’t fault his performance though, he can be real damn quiet and sinister and really out there when he’s screaming at things.

The episodes themselves

Good cast, good side characters, good ideas, butchered in execution by not exploring the main cast, falling flat on the ideas and by the second season, losing the fun side characters.

Episodes I liked

Woman Who Fell To Earth

Rosa

Demons of the Punjab

WitchFinders

Takes You Away

Fugitive of the Judoon

Can you Hear me

Episodes I hated

Orphan 55

Arachnids

The Timeless Children

The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos (for cutting everything short)

Everything else was mostly unmemorable I fell asleep on Ascension of the Cybermen, had to rewind it.

The Retcon

You knew this was coming.

I put it last for I feel there’s a hundred and one issues here and it’d be cruel to just go for the obvious first. Maybe people would think I’d be against this one thing and that’s why I hate the rest. God no, I was so annoyed going into this episode, let alone for what it was about to deliver.

I don’t outright hate past Doctors. Hell, shove the brains of Morbius in there. It shits a bit on Hartnell and established lore a bit, but still.

“But the Brains of Morbius said-“

The eighth doctor said he was half-human, there are some bits of this canon we ignore.

But oh well, it’s not the main crux of the issue.

The Doctor, before this, was a Time Lord. He wasn’t much of a good one, by Time Lord standards at least. Ran from the schism, wasn’t as good as the Master in school, didn’t like the stuffy nature of his race, or their non-intervention policy. Ran off in a stolen ship with a knackered console and wanted to see the universe.

He flouted the rules. He stood up for people where Time Lords wouldn’t. Observe, don’t intervene. But the Doctor couldn’t, too curious, too inquisitive. He got a fondness for humans, god knows why. 

But this Time Lord was against his own people, he was kinder than them, but alien to us. He wanted to learn, and left his planet to see if there was good in the universe. He was a rather shit Time Lord but helped where he could, making a difference in other people’s lives, trying to be the best he could be, learning.

This got him into trouble with the Time Lords of course, but, hey, it’s a funny old universe.

And we like that, as British folk. An underdog common person just trying to help out and be good.

What we’re not a fan of is saying the the Doctor isn’t just some Time Lord that likes helping out, but a chosen one who is the reason that Time Lords exist in the first place and is of another dimensional world and there were 50 of them and they knew kung fu in the super secret Time Lord service but they wiped her mind because it was super secret guys and she can live forever and is immortal and-

I was annoyed when the 50th made a slight mockery of the Time War. I get we don’t always have to stick so closely to canon, but holy shit the Timeless Child.

The fact it was exposition dumped on us and then wrapped up 10 minutes after with NEW ADVENTURES AT CHRISTMAS was just the icing on the cake.

If you wanted to pull this off, this should have been the Doctor’s struggle for the next season, coming to terms that her life is missing, that the Time Lords did this, that she didn’t even know what was right or not

But no, resolved. Felt not like adding to the lore but upending it on its head to say he could.

It’s why I don’t blame Jodie, who does an excellent job. Or the cast.

I blame Chibnall.

And it wouldn’t be as bad if the writing leading up to it helped serve the episode. But there was nothing there. 

Conclusion

The writing is trash, the Doctor is underdeveloped, the cast outside of Graham aren’t explored, the setup for the finales are weak and uninspired, the retcons are going to cause major issues down the line and you’ve changed the very nature of the Doctor’s character and didn’t even have good writing behind it nor did much to explore it.

And I’m sorry it had to happen to such a good casting decision.

Yes, literally for the one joke

I still can’t draw, although I write my own stuff and on a group project, so that’s where my effort is going. This is my excuse as to why I haven’t drawn better in three years.

“What about that fangame you initially started the tumblr for“

H-ha

Aha

Shhhh

AKA: One week into isolation and a Welshman drunkenly types out his most controversial opinion

One of the first sci-fi shows I ever watched, at least, without realising it was science fiction, before even Star Trek, of which I vividly remember seeing Patrick’s face and voice on my thick arse grey heavier-than-sin Television, would have been that of the 1988 comedy - Red Dwarf.

I didn’t watch it live of course, I was born in 1993, by the time I could actually start remembering things the show had already ended. Like many people, I watched it on someone’s recorded VHS tape, among others in our house such as Duckman. Like Duckman, Red Dwarf was a bit out of my depth, but I liked it all the same. Some of the jokes landed and the slapstick and (not)aliens were enough to capture my attention.

Of course, I grew older, my appreciation for the show changed over time. The jokes obviously landed a lot more, but what I appreciated more was the character building, the acting, the writers and the cast having an appreciation, even through troubled shooting or grievances, towards what they were working through.

As anyone would expect though, I have my thoughts on where the series’s high’s ended, can see the flaws in some writing and some episodes, and overall the direction it headed after series 6, but yet, it still holds a special place in my heart.

Something I didn’t figure out until I was much older was the existence of a USA version. There was a pilot, then a failed attempt at another pilot/episode 2, and it was never heard from again.

Anyone from Britain could have told you this was a terrible idea from the start, anyone who’s watched it will tell you how awful it is.

In a DVD extra on one of the boxsets, both writers lamented what could have been if things went right, the misery of working in an American environment which didn’t appreciate the British insight. Rob, who plays Kryten, speaks about how the American cast thought the script the American execs were pushing on them to be terrible. But Rob got paid a lot of money to eat food and do some scenes, so he enjoyed it for the most part.

But if you like Red Dwarf, you already know this. If you didn’t, thanks for staying with me.

There are many reasons for why Red Dwarf USA didn’t work. “You can’t just take a British thing and try and localise it.”

Yet The Office USA is a massive hit, and has its fan-base here. 

Craig Charles, as in, Lister’s actor, reckoned it was because of a lack of a class system, although Doug, one of the writers, would disagree.

I get Craig’s feelings, mind you. In the UK, I have more in common with people who are on the same pay-grade as me than anything stupid like race, sex or religion. Which isn’t to say there aren’t those divides in the country, but the class system is very heavy here. The Lower and Working class bond knowing they’re working harder than those above for not as much pay.

But as Doug says, the people on Always Sunny/Malcolm in the Middle aren’t the same people who are on Friends/Frasier, for example. He uses a different example, for it’s an old documentary, but the point still stands. There is class in America, even if it’s implemented differently in media and IRL

(As an aside, Malcolm in the Middle was fantastic.)

Craig Bierko (the USA Craig and the USA Lister) said it was just a mistake to do, that they shouldn’t have even tried to localise an exceptional program. I mean, he partook in it, but the actor had to eat and food isn’t free.

But after all that, here’s the thing.

I think it could have worked.

It would need heavy editing mind you. A proper look into why it didn’t work in the first place. More of a look into an American future, rather than a future which was (despite original intentions) still heavily British. 

The jokes would need localising, the actors would need a bit of a workaround in terms of personality, but here’s why I started this.

Where the story would go next.

Dave Lister (UK) was a happy-go-lucky carefree scouser, who worked as little as possible, chased impossible dreams while playing a guitar he never put any actual time into learning. He got along with people quite well, despite being on the bottom of the pecking order. He got in trouble with authority, but he was doing it out of good intentions. 

This was mostly to balance out his bunkmate, Rimmer, who was in every way opposite. He was a stressed pent up ball of worry and anger, who had one dream and one goal only, of which he failed constantly. He was liked by no-one, the only person he was above (Lister) he took extreme measures to exercise the little power he had.

On an aside, UK Lister wasn’t conventionally attractive. Craig Charles is a good looking bloke mind you, he’s not ugly, but his looks managed to sell the underdog achiever. He looked very much the part of a low-life Liverpudlian drunk. (despite being a wordsmith and successful poet in real life, not to mention his impressive DJ’ing)

USA Lister however, was played by this HUNK.

Dave Lister USA was shown to be the same kind of person, but hinted at was his more roguish cheeky nature. A more... American view. While Lister UK, when talking to his crush, would be almost awkward, never really sharing many words with her, despite being madly in love with her, Lister US had gone out with Kochanski.

(True, UK did past series 5, but a retcon to match the books is still a retcon)

Lister US was cheeky, cocky, a bit arrogant to Kochanski. He hadn’t taken the relationship seriously. She was a Flight Navigation Officer, he was the lowest rank on the ship, a Third Technician. He had no aspirations, no dreams. He had a plan, much like our Lister, but hadn’t even seemed to save up pay for it. He mentions it once in passing to Kryten at the start, but the way he talked to Kristine, the way he spoke about it to Kryten, it seemed that he’d given up, more than our more hopeless UK Lister. 

UK Kristine knew Lister but had hardly shared words with him, and it was all Lister’s fault, as Kris would have been kind enough to actually talk to him. UK Lister’s story overall is of a man who had the chance to be better, but gave himself excuses why he couldn’t, or didn’t. UK Lister could have talked to Kris at any time, but had been his own obstacle.

USA Kristine however, had had USA Lister actually get her to go out with him. It was nice, they still talk. But Kris had ended it. Kris had career aspirations, and Lister had not.

(This kept close to the UK books, but UK Kris had somewhat used UK Lister as a rebound. It was still a nice enough break-up, but Lister then careens down into depression. Unlike AmeriLister who’s optimistic he can pick it back up. Gotta love America and their hope.)

This culminated in the final scene we see of pre-accident Kris, where she sees David did a noble gesture by sacrificing himself to save his cat, and (even though oddly paced) tells David she loved him.

Heat of the moment it may be, but USA Lister immediately cracks, telling the crew that he’d give up the cat’s location. It’s played for laughs obviously, but maybe this is what’s more important to USA Lister.

But these very differences, like angles, could stretch further than just copying the show. By leading on from what made AmeriDave different than BritiDave.

What I would do

First, we make USA Lister stand out more. His dress attire seemed Han Solo-esque, so let’s put a bit of that personality into him. This Lister, would have been an under-acheiver his whole life, maybe after the event, he wouldn’t be. This Lister would be brought back with a new sense of determination. He has to prove to Kochanski, Rimmer, his Cat and Holly that he’s no longer this Third Technician, he was capable of getting back the human race.

Where UK Lister (at least, in the show) would try and see in what ways he could kill time, in a sobering kind of malaise that strikes a man three million years into deep space, USA Lister would be trying to get his head around how to get back. In the final part of the show, after they see their future selves, he knows he actually has to do something. Back to earth? Sure, he wouldn’t know, and finding out would be hard, but USA Lister would actually have to learn to apply himself early. 

This doesn’t sound like Lister! (or more accurately, isn’t this just the Book Lister) British people like seeing despair. We long to see Del Boy fail, we want to see Basil Fawlty have a meltdown. Americans have hope. They want to see Ross get with Rachel, they long to see their hero win. Or if he can’t win, have a snarky comment about it. We want to see UK Rimmer and Lister fail in their attempts to get back, because it’s funny. USA have hope. They’d want to see Lister get home.

USA Rimmer would make learning hell for USA Lister. Rimmer, thinking he knows more, would foil the attempts at Lister, but not out of malice, out of incompetence on Rimmer’s part. “Thermodynamics, let me teach you, Dave, no-one’s taken that test more than I have!” Que the failed test.

Unfortunately, the Cat, Kryten, Holly and Rimmer in the US version are almost all carbon-copies of their UK counterpart. I haven’t thought this through enough, obviously. They’d have to be changed, Episode 1 would have to be rewritten, but with changes in mind.

I’d have USA Lister be an actual hero, but a kinda useless one who takes a while to get things done, consulting with his equally useless crew. Rimmer, to be a dick, but with a lot of the bitterness taken out (because American’s can’t really pull it off), but with the same inferiority complex. He’d make hell for Lister, but under the genuine reason of “I want to see you do better. (cause right now you’re an embarrassment to the human species)“ The last human, trained by the best of what was left of humanity. Or at least, Rimmer would see it that way.

The rest of the cast could be figured out later. Honestly, too much like their counterparts. I guess that was the point of the show when they tried to release it, it was only a localisation after all.

Conclusion

We’ll never know what Rob and Doug wrote that the other actors liked, I doubt a copy was kept after it was butchered by the Americans.

But I think what little made it different, was the bit where it shone. Sure, shone as in behind 4 panes of glass and a sheet of paper, but still, it could have been something.

I’m a sucker for “What could have been.” Even for money-grabbing USA executive schemes such as trying to make RD: USA

And hey, maybe it could have. And I like all that alternative stuff. When Mortal Kombat actually included bits from the movies, that made me smile. If Sonic ever had a nod to Fleetway, I’d be happy enough.

Maybe one day we’ll have an alternative Lister played by Craig Bierko, and he’d be an actual space-wanderer hero. And then our UK Lister can call him smug smeghead. And he’d be right.

(About USA Lister, not Bierko)

Final Conclusion

The word count on this went way out of hand. This killed an afternoon and I’m stuck in my house, I have a backlog a mile long to go through

Need to finish ‘Off’, ‘Torchwood’, DW, and possibly watch some Red Dwarf before the new one is out.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

Wrote a small thing based on a prompt

Tried to limit myself to 2k and hit 2.4 because I always give 120%

If you like sonic fanfics, woop

Has Sonic

Has Amy

I drew Bunnie with big ol dumb arms and now I’m just shitposting designs in this new world where animals are all their proper animal size and look more like their usual animal size.

And Bunnie has big irons.

And Knuckles wears a poncho.

And Sally wears a cool jacket

And Nicole’s an old timey radio.

Just sketchin’ cause finishing this is going to take a while and attempts have been lackluster Vanilla and Creams are understandably shocked by Bunnie’s HUGE METAL ARMS. And legs.

It was going to be the whole picture but Rotor had to be shown too Horrifying ass lovable walrus

I haven’t drawn in so long that I’m rusty as all hell.

That being said, I liked the idea of Bunnie with a rabbit arm and humungous robot arms so drew it.

And then tried to draw a more chipmunk Sally for scale.

Yes it’s Knuckle’s OVA hat, sue me, I’m uncreative.

Penders, I’m joking don’t sue me, I’m poor.