Dead Raven: Do Not Eat

Yoko: So Enid, I’ve been wondering, why have you been blushing whenever Wednesday gets a vision?

Enid: Oh. Um. Er. I, uh, I do?

Yoko: Yeah, you started doing it a little after you two finally got togeth…

Yoko: 🤨🕶️🤏

Enid: 😳💦

Yoko: 😃‼️

Enid: 😬💦

Yoko: That’s also her O face, isn’t it?

Enid: 🫣💦

Yoko: *cackles* OH MY VLAD IT IS!

Enid: *whines* Yoko!

Yoko: *proceeds to stagger away, still cackling*

Wednesday: *finally comes to*

Enid/Wednesday: 🤦‍♀️ 😒

Wednesday: Should I warn Tanaka that she is about to trip and fall off a balcony, or would you prefer to follow routine and ravage me back at our room?

Enid: 😐

Enid: 🤔

Enid: Our room. *grabs Wednesday’s hand*

Enid/Wednesday: 😚🤝😑💨

Yoko: *distantly* OH SHii𛱏_ ࣭

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ʇ

ꜞ

Bianca: This is the infamous Wednesday Addams, and before you ask, yes, she does only come in black and white.

Enid: *outraged gasp* How does SHE know that??

Wednesday: I don’t know. Perhaps someone once again forgot to turn off their livestream before hurling me onto their bed.

Enid: HEY! It’s not MY fault that your freaky gunk is so delicious!

Bianca: *can only watch as her prospective students flee into the distance, never to enroll*

Bianca: 🫩

Wednesday: Easily.

Enid: —and find mWHAT?

Wednesday: *thoughtful hum* I’d also have no problem hunting you down.

Yoko: So she’s heavily guarded and has full social immunity. You make her sound like a foreign embassy.

Enid: *mutters* What I wouldn’t give to put four in HER pussy.

Yoko: GIRL WHAT?!

Enid: 🫢‼️

Yoko: 🤣🕶️🤏

Enid: *mortified whine* I did NOT mean to say that!

Yoko: No worries, girl. Full moon hormones?

Enid: *whispers* What am I going to do, Yoko? The prosecutor is a total baddie!

Yoko: *whispers back* Yikes, she looks like she could sue an orgasm out of you. Maybe simp for someone who doesn’t put the strict in district attorney?

Enid: Objection! I’d love to pursue her clitigation.

Yoko: Sustained, girl. Sustained.

Enid: 🤨❓

Enid: Hold up, is her assistant a disembodied hand? What is it doing?

Yoko: That’s ASL. They’re saying…

Yoko: 😲‼️

Yoko: 😀

Enid: What? What did they say??

Yoko: *stifling laughter* They said “she reads lips”.

Enid: 🫪⁉️

Enid: *hesitantly looks to Wednesday*

Wednesday: *meets Enid’s gaze with an arched eyebrow and the ghost of a smirk*

Yoko/Enid: 🤣 😭

Yoko: Seriously? I just told you to bite your lip. Show me exactly what you did.

Wednesday: Fine.

Yoko: Why are you lifting your sk—

Wednesday: *proceeds to demonstrate a quite frankly unsettling level of flexibility*

Yoko:

Yoko:

Yoko: First of all, that’s hella impressive. Second, I’m pretty sure Enid fainted because you melted her brain. And third…

Enid: Ohmygod, prepping for this exam has me so freaking stressed out!

Wednesday: What do you need, mi lobita? An Irish Furrachino, heavy on the Bailey’s? A neck rub? Words of reassurance?

Enid: What I need is something in my mouth.

Wednesday: Shall I retrieve your neon chew stim, a roll of rawhide, or a section of moose antler?

Enid: Don’t worry, babe, I got it.

Wednesday: *finds herself lifted off her feet*

Wednesday:

Wednesday: Oh.

Enid: *sets Wednesday down on her desk and atop her mess of notes*

Wednesday: *will soon be making a mess on those notes*

Enid: *cocky grin* Unless I’M the one doing it.

Wednesday: *aggrieved sigh* Enid.

Enid: And by “it”, I mean when I fill her chapters.

Wednesday: They understand, Enid.

Enid: And by “chapters”, I’m really talking about her p—

Wednesday: I SAID THEY UNDERSTAND.

Wednesday: All alphas are sure it would never happen to them and most omegas at one time or another have faked it, so you do the math.

Enid: *scoffs* You don’t think that I could tell the difference? As if!

Enid: *goes back to scarfing down her sandwich*

Wednesday: *arches an eyebrow*

Wednesday: *leans back in her seat and emits a faint moan*

Enid: *pauses mid-bite* Uh. Are you okay?

Wednesday: *writhes slightly, her eyes fluttering shut as she lets out a louder moan*

Enid: 😳

Wednesday: *abruptly gurgles and convulses violently*

Enid: 😦⁉️

Wednesday: *eyes roll to white as foam froths out of her trembling mouth*

Enid: 😨‼️

Wednesday: *goes completely limp, head lolling back at a horrific angle as a death rattle escapes her eerily still chest*

Enid: 🫢

Wednesday: 😵

Wednesday: *stares down at the bouquet, takes it, and unceremoniously chucks it off the balcony*

Enid: HEY! What gives?!

Wednesday: *coldly* I am greatly insulted that you would dare imply…

Enid: ⁉️

Wednesday: …that I could EVER forget your knot.

Wednesday: Wrong, I am orally bankrupt, and require your assistance in balancing my account.

Enid: And how would I do that?

Wednesday: *promptly lays on her back*

Enid: ❓

Wednesday: Enid, oral bankruptcy suggests the depletion of an oral account, which can be fixed by judiciously depositing the appropriate currency.

Enid: By currency, do you mean my… my meow meow?

Wednesday: *audible grimace* Yes, your meow meow. Now take a seat so we may begin liquidating your rather commendable assets.

Enid:

Enid: Just to be clear, we’re really talking about you eating m—

Wednesday: *sharply* ENID, meow meow on my face, NOW now.

Wednesday: *stares wide-eyed at the item in her hand*

Enid: *biting her lip* Well, do you like it?

Wednesday: *rasps* Wh-What is it exactly?

Enid: It’s a nude, silly!

Wednesday:

Enid: I took it in your signature colors.

Wednesday: *does vaguely appreciate the vintage black and white*

Enid: And you want to know what the best part is?

Wednesday: Hnn…?

Enid: I took it while thinking of you.

Wednesday:

Enid: 😘

Agnes: But she’s not wet in this gif?

Yoko: Trust me, kiddo, Enid will get it.

Enid: You’re such a little slut. I should just call you Tuesday since you keep coming early.

Wednesday Tuesday: Mmn. Harder!

Enid: *yanks a braid and spits in Tuesday’s face*

Tuesday: Nngh, YES. Now grammatically!

Enid: Wh-What?

Tuesday: NOW, Enid!

Enid: 😬

Enid: 🤔

Enid: 😲💡

Enid: I hope your ready to arrive you’re brain’s out because im gonna bang you with everything i’ve!

Tuesday:

Enid: No! I mean, kind of? It’s nuanced!

Bianca: How the shit do you nuance a goddamn glory hole?

Enid: It’s sort of a social experiment. Wednesday set up two of them.

Bianca: Not an improvement.

Enid: Let me explain. The first stall has a sign that reads Insert to abuse a woman—

Enid: —while the other stall has a sign that reads Insert to NOT abuse a woman.

Bianca: *squints* Okay, I can see how this could be a social experiment. So what happens if someone sticks their groove tube into the first one? Does Wednesday bite it?

Enid: What? EW! No, that’d be disgusting!

Bianca: *eye roll* Okay, so what—

Enid: Compact guillotine.

Bianca: 😧

Enid: 😗

Bianca: *pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs* Gory Hole. Right. Fine. What-the-fuck-ever.

Bianca: How about the other hole? Do they get rewarded with a blowjob for picking that one?

Enid: Of course not. You don’t reward someone for the bare minimum. But they do get a totally awesome collectible pin that reads Not a dickwad.

Bianca: Hold up. Does this pin get stuck right on their dick?

Enid: Obvi!

Bianca: So the participant gets hurt either way?

Enid: Well, yeah. Sticking a body part into some strange hole in the wall is still a dumb move. Seriously, who even does that?

Kent: Yo, Ajax! Check out this sweet pin!

Bianca/Enid: 😒😒

Ajax: Dude! I got one too! Know what this means?

Kent: Bro, it means we’re…

Ajax/Kent: *high-five* PIN TWINSIES!

Ajax/Kent: *happily limp away*

Bianca/Enid: 🤦🤦‍♀️