My Dose of Strength |christambassadress|

Have you noticed how much unconditional love is preached from pulpits, but not demonstrated in public? When there are boxes to check, rituals to perform, and Christianese to speak, it becomes more of a conformity than a safe community of all people.

I will sing for joy

Even in pain rejoice

"From my deepest pain rose a high standard." - Jez, 2021

I was this "I don't wanna be rude" girl like Chloe (in this prank). Ayoko kasi masabihan ako ng suplada ako or kala mo kung sinong maganda and the like so I always respond to every small talks, chats and DMs I receive from everyone, in this case, to every guy. Not knowing it was a dangerous game I'm playing. Not until I had a serious relationship (had, so yes ibig sabihin wala na). Though yes, I have a fair share of mistakes - being friends (like super close friend) with another guy. And that is one thing I learned in keeping a relationship, if you want a bestfriend from the opposite sex, you should be bestfriends with your future wife/husband only.

Now Philip here, is clearly saying kung anong tingin or dating sa kanilang mga lalake when girls spend time talking to them. It looks like we are also interested with them. Kahit ang intention naman natin is just to "not be rude" with them.

From my deepest pain rose a high standard! Since I finally accepted that the hard-fought long-term relationship is over, I raised my standards. I began creating walls. I drop every man, I am not interested in. I don't respond to chats and DMs that I smell motives of tearing my walls down. I even move them to Archive. Some of male friends trying to "flirt" with me, I shut out - this doesn't mean I won't stay friends with them but I learned to create boundaries. Pag friends, hanggang dito lang. We don't do anything beyond normal friends do. We don't do video calls, late night talks, send updates from time to time. Pag friends, friends lang. Sayang lang pareho oras nyo. Mamaya, mababansagan ka pang nagpaasa. MEN NEEDS CLARITY TOO. Kung no, say it! Coz if not and patuloy mo sya binibigyan ng time, he would think that you both are going somewhere. Pano kung ganon ka sa lahat ng guy, what would that make you? DRAW THE LINE!

If someone afford to get within your walls, yung tipong naconsider mo sya, go walang pipigil sa'yo to chat or VC him, just don't let your guard down.

Also, I like how Chloe says, “If I were to date someone I would ask mom and dad first. I respect my parents.” Hindi yung boyfriend na na saka lang pinakilala. I think it's beautiful and the right way to involve our parents, plus spiritual parents sa start pa lang. We are not giving them the power to meddle but we are gifting our future relationship/marriage a sound advice from people whom I believe God holds accountable for us.

Hello there beautiful soul,

Do you remember how you finished last year strong? What was your one-word take away to this year? ACCEPTANCE, right?

Right, it seems a simple word, easy to say but you learnt the depth of it. You knew it’s painful, yet FREEING.

So what were the things you freed yourself from this year? Let me remind you. Keep reading.

1. A love in another’s arm - you finally accepted that some people aren’t meant to stay with you because they’re for somebody else

2. The familiar pain - you finally accepted that pain is normally present in life, in relationships that you decided to embrace the familiar pain than to be introduced to a new ones

3. Your fears - and finally your love was perfected that it casted out all your fears (1 Peter 4:18)

4. Your failures - your setbacks didn’t stop you to get back to track

5. Lost of someone dear to you - I’m talking about one of your fur baby. You remember how you lost Hershey? It’s painful indeed, yet you didn’t stop having and loving another dog. And you lost one again this year, it’s painful but you accepted her death and made you love the rest of your fur babies more

6. Your anxieties - you acknowledge and bravely overcame every loneliness. You knew you can’t do it just with Your God but also with your family and friends.

7. Your false hopes - you finally figured what’s genuine and what were just mixed signals. You finally let go of catching that ball that is really not directed towards you

8. Your great love - I can’t even write how painful is this for you coz there isn’t a word to describe how it was. You are not the type who gives up on the one you love but you finally accepted, FINALLY! Coz this is just like #1. Some love aren’t yours to keep. Some love isn’t great for you but for someone else.

9. Your hurts, hard feelings and anger - I saw how you struggled of letting go of these. I get that it isn’t easy to forgive a person who doesn’t even know what they’re sorry for, yet you find in your heart a truce. Lol. Kidding aside, you find to accept that people will always fail you and leave you but you knew the One who never will.

10. Your will - I think, this is progressive. But, at least you took the first step. Above all else, it shouldn’t be our will but His.

I love this line from Matthew 6:30 💐

"If God gives such attention"

The verse in NLT says "And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?"

Alam nyo ba na ang mga wildflowers ay parang etchapwerang bulaklak sa kaparangan? Madalas dinadaan danan lang. Madali rin sila lumilipas. At di mo mamamalayan na anjan na pala ulit sila kasi nga less appreciated. But Jesus asks us to consider the wildflowers, bakit di na lang yung rose or tulips? Because He is asking pano ba sila nag grow? Kasi thier beauty grew naturally out of the care of our God.

Now, if God cares about the wildflowers, the birds of the air, and even the number of our hairs, e lalong may pake Sya sa'yo. Sa buhay mo, sa pangarap mo, sa puso mo, sa lahat ng detalye ng pagkatao at pagkalikha sa'yo.

Unang-unang pinapaalis sa'yo ni Lord yang WORRIES mo. Yung doubts mo, fears mo, insecurities mo at anxiety mo.

Thank you, WFH Heroes.

We appreciate all the frontliners outside their homes, working to protect and give us increasing numbers of recoveries from day to day 🥰 But let's also acknowledge those employees "Working From Home". They are also a frontliner of their family. Where some other businesses are closing, BPO Industries keeps making money and circling it to other businesses such as hotels where some employees are sent to work and Internet Services, ugh thousands of WFH employees need this.

I now truly appreciate and beyond grateful that I get to work in a BPO Industry, not to mention how the company I belong to is far more than a company but a family, I must say. Who professionaly made the transition of our work into this wave with super positive vibes. Thank you, Linkserve Solutions, I appreciate everything you do and each that belongs to you including the amazing superstars who made this WFH set up possible.

But wait, you know what I actually love this WFH set up? My work station was actually my prayer nook. I feel so much empowered and inspired that the place I meet God, the secret place (Psalm 91:1) is where I work now. When everything is offered to God, you know they will never go wrong. Or when something fails, you have this peace and the courage to try again.

I said YES!!! 💍❤️

😭😭😭 I wasn’t expecting this but, it’s like I am so whole again like never before. 🔥

I said YES!!!

It was 11pm and I am about to sleep. But a lot of thoughts came running in my head.

Almost a week, I made a decision of starting a new life. I prayed about it. I did in-depth study of my calling verse, my name, figuring what’s God’s purpose is really on me.

During that process, I cried so many tears, desperately wanting to hear that still small voice of God coz I can’t make another decision that’s man-made. As I recall one of the biggest, life-changing decisions I made, I realized, what was strongly heard were the voices of the people, of course influential people in my life, which made me believe it was God. Sure, they were sort of confirmation of what God wanted me to do, but what I missed was, “Is it really what God is telling me to do?” and I figured that it was not exactly God wanted me to do. That’s why I suffered, but God still went with me. Not blaming these people, but I tell you, sometimes the voices in the world may be louder than the voice of the Lord. When things are chaotic or it’s overwhelming, it’s hard to determine which voice is the Lord’s, but in stillness, we shall hear. What I learned, is we should not rush into making decisions, just because it pleases the crowd, doesn’t mean it will please the judge.

Going back to 11pm and I am about to sleep and thoughts were running in my head. Lately, because of another big decision I made, I started to think that I am a failure, I failed as a daughter, I failed as an eldest sister and even failed as a servant of God. Coz, you see, I’m 25 but I’m still here, I am not a daughter any parent would be proud of. I feel like I am a constant failure. I feel insecure, incapable, scared. Another thought was, working in a corporate world terrifies me. I started to be afraid of interviews and aptitude tests, which I just took a few days ago and gave me a brain crack. Crying these thoughts to God, once I again I asked Him to speak to me with His audible voice and remind me of what really is my purpose here on Earth, how does He really called me in the advancement of His Kingdom and He hugged me and said, “If I put you in this, I will get you through this.” Actually, I really doubted God in this situation of my life. I thought that this was another wrong decision I made, but His words are so alive and I just know that He’s so faithful, He’ll never let go of me and so I cling into His promise that He will see me through this.

Knowing that God is with me, I started to vision things and wrote it. There are a lot of the things I wrote, from paying the bills to a lot of goals in life.

Now my dilemma is where and how I can serve God in this new chapter of my life. Yes, we can serve God in every way as long as everything you do is dedicated for Him and you’re doing it for His glory, but as for me who was in a church’s leadership for years, I am in great search of where I can clearly do what God has really called me to do. And God reminded me that family is our first ministry.

Sharing you my anthem since June and I know this song speaks my heart out. I remember, singing this in my closet with tears. Last July 13, I turned 25. 'Twas a very special day and I will blog about it on my #BirthdayBlog. But yes, looking back from the previous years God never changes, is faithful and constantly loves me no matter what I did, no matter how I think of myself, He's so so good. This is all for Him! Grace wins! 🙌🏻

Of course, thank you Loud House Music Studio! God bless the work of your hands.

Goodness of God by Bethel Music Cover

POST-BIRTHDAY BLOG

A month ago, July 13, 2019, I turned 25, and over the last few years I always blog about how God blessed me and give thanks to Him for all that He has provided and done.

January was when I got a Word from the Lord that I'm on my way to my Promised Land.

February, I was some kind of Peter who was so in love and willing to die with and for Jesus but suddenly ran away to save himself. And just like the prodigal Son, glad, I found my way home. I was pointed by many fingers and was called names like the girl who people wanted to throw stones at. I took plane to Macau and bus to Hongkong and who would've thought, I did find my way back. I found grace.

March, I was in the verge of being a total Judas. Not that I betrayed my God but because I was so full of guilt from running away, full of condemnation and too much guilt I wanted to end it with my own hands. But the gracious God poured out so much love on me that compelled me to be a true Christian -to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

I also lost my beloved Hershey, my dog. The pain of death is unbearable. I couldn't imagine life losing people I love. And I remember how God gave up the life of His one and only Son just to give us freedom that we sometimes abuse 😔 that made me wanna live more for my family and ultimately for Him.

April, honestly I was a bit of Thomas. I am unsure of what I am doing. I mean, I'm working for His glory but I sometimes find myself doubting if God is blessing or cursing me having me put on a situation I am those days. But at the end of the day, I am grateful I have all those figured out that concludes, God's ways are higher than mine. And His plans are way better.

May was a crossroad of my life. I had a lot of choosing to do. Would I rather go here or there? Choose this over this? And honestly, this lead me to a what I called SHIPWRECK. I lost a lot of ships along the way, friendships, relationship. I experienced a lot of hardships. I was totally wrecked. But I learned to run the ship aground which means to stop at some point. Stop and appreciate what's left with you. There are still friends who didn't really gave up on you. Stop and appreciate that everything will perish but the Word of God would remain. Stop and realise that the love of God is unstoppable. And that you're wrecked but you're alive.

June was the start of breakthrough but was full of breakings. From time to time, I just know that we are not defined by our past mistakes or failures but I begun to realise that we are remembered of it. And I hate that thought in me and always cry out to God for freedom from it. I also brought to the thinking that I'm better of alone than surrounded by people who I'm sure would just betray me, hurt me and talk false accusations about me, close doors for any personal relationship. I also experienced having goosebumps for some reasons I can't enumerate (sure this is not good). But God of course didn't let me just experience the thorns and made me forget about the roses. I eventually appreciate the roses!

July, my birth month. I planned about my birthday ahead because I am really grateful to the Lord that He made me this far. But you know what, a day before my birthday I never thought I could make it. I was literally fighting for my life, I literally felt dying. Not because I have some deadly disease but it happened on the physical and spiritual realm, but because this is an online blog, I can't spill you the details here but that experience made my 25th birthday extra special and ugh I lost words to actually describe it but our Lord is so awesome and wonderful and powerful and sovereign!

Only few remembered me on my birthday, 'twas a bit disappointing coz some happened to be my closest friends but that's how life goes. So don't wanna get deep with that, just focus on what you have to be thankful for. So thank you to those na hindi nakalimot. 😅 You are highly appreciated and greatly treasured. 💕

So, that’s the story of my 25th year. These are the things I am immensely grateful for.

Glory to our Most High God! 🙌🏻

Luke 12:22-32

In this verse, Jesus is talking to His disciples ~ to me and you. To the believers. And minsan mas madami pang worries ang mga taong may relasyon na sa Kanya.

BUT, He is telling us not to worry at all.

WORRY NOT!

Life is more than the things here on earth. Food, clothes, money, job, even your kids and family. All these are blessings from God but all are temporary. Let God take care of all these and focus on the things that has eternal impact. Deepen your spiritual roots for a stronger and more intmate relationship with the Lord. Ang buhay ay higit pa daw sa mga bagay sa mundo. Hindi sa dami ng likes mo sa Facebook, hindi sa followers sa Twitter. Hindi rin dahil nakaRank ka da ML. At lalong hindi mo ikamamatay kung hindi nag Wave Back si crush. Do not worry kung kahit wala pa ang sahod mo sa kamay mo e alam mong ubos na sa dami mong kelangan bayadan sa Shopee at Lazada 😅

Worry has nothing to do to your soul. It doesn't add life to you, instead it subtracts. People nowadays, tried and did end their life because of too much worry that leads to anxiety and depression 😔 Hindi ka magiging masaya kung lagi kang nag aalala.

““What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself.” ~ Luke‬ ‭12:29-32‬