âUNFAITHFULâ â CHRIS STURNIOLO
pairing. chris sturniolo x fem!reader genre. angst. word count. 3.1k
âyou donât get to talk about love, chris. not after what you did. love doesnât look like that.â
content warning. cheating, insecurities, cursing, heartbreak, breakdowns, shit relationships and shit friendships.
authors note. still on a writing hiatus, just in my feels and wanted to do something. this is very angsty and yet again, no happy ending. no part twos either. (sorry)
You had always been wary of the closeness between your boyfriend and your best friend.
It wasnât jealousyâat least thatâs what you told yourself. You wanted them to get along as it wouldâve been awkward if they didnât. But sometimes, their smiles felt too private, their touches lingered just a second too long, and the way their eyes found each other in a crowded room made your stomach twist in knots.
Still, you ignored it. You had to. After all, these were the two people you loved the most in the world. You told yourself it was all in your head, that your own insecurities were painting them in such a bad light. And even when they started spending time with you, you silenced the small voice beside you that begged you to question it.Â
You were too blinded by happiness. You were happy that your two favourite people in the world had not only cherished you deeply, but also got along so well.
But now, standing frozen in the bedroom doorway after returning from visiting your parents, your breath catches in your throatâragged and shallowâas your eyes burn, the tears blurring your vision, but unfortunately not enough to hide the sight in front of you.Â
Chris, the person you thought youâd spend forever with, is tangled up in the sheets with Ani, your best friend. Their naked bodies move together in a way that leaves no room for doubt that theyâve done this before, and the sounds that spill from their lips pierces through the air.
âOh my god!â Itâs Ani who notices you first, her face contorting in horror as she turns her head at the right moment. She scrambles to grab the blanket to cover herself as if that will erase whatâs already been done.
Confused by her outburst, Chris props himself up on his elbows, his brows furrowing for a split second before his gaze finds yours. His eyes widen in panic, his face draining of colour as the realisation hits him like cold water.
âW-wait, wait, wait,â he stammers quickly, shoving Ani off him as he stumbles out of bed, his movements frantic and clumsy as his hands shake, reaching for you. âItâs notâitâs not what it looks like, Iâplease, let me justâI need to explain.â
âDonât touch me,â you choke out, barely able to speak through the lump resting in your throat. You take a step back, your hands trembling as you push him away from you.
âPlease,â he begs, his voice cracking under the weight of his regret. The tears begin to well in his eyes, but they only make you angrier. âPlease, baby. Donâtâdonât do this. Just hear me out. Pleaseââ
You canât bear to look at him any longer, so your gaze shifts to Ani who is sitting on the edge of the bed, clutching the blanket to her bare chest. Her face is flushed and her eyes are glassy with bubbling tears, but she doesnât say a word. She doesnât have to. The guilt etched across her face says enough.
Turning away from both of them, you spin on your heel and walk out of the room, your legs trembling beneath you which makes it harder for you to move in a straight line. Chris calls out your name, his voice cracking, but you donât stop. You can hear him fumbling behind you, the sound of his feet hitting the floor as he hurriedly follows while grabbing his boxers, pulling them on in a rush as he chases after you.
âWait!â he cries, his hand catching your arm just as you round the corner. His touch burns, and you yank yourself free with a sob, slapping his hand away as the tears stream down your cheeks.Â
Youâre shaking now, your chest heaving with every breath as the weight of what youâve just seen crashes down on you.
âPlease⌠please, baby,â Chris pleads, refusing to let up. âJust listen to me, okay? Please. Donât walk away from usâdonât throw this away.â
You freeze, his words hitting you like a slap to the face. âDonât walk away from us?â you find yourself repeating, words riddled with disbelief. âAre⌠are you serious right now? You walked away from us the second you started fucking her!â
Chris flinches, his face crumpling as your words cut through him. âI-Iâm sorry,â he whispers, breaking into a sob as he takes a step closer, his hands trembling as he cups your face. âIâm so fucking sorry. I didnât mean it, okay? I didnâtâplease, just donât go. I love you. I love you so much. I love you.â
The pain in his voice only deepens your own, and you shake your head repeatedly, your tears falling faster as you try to pull away from him, but he doesnât let go. Instead, he presses his forehead against yours, his own tears mingling with yours as his grip tightens.
You want to push him away, to scream and curse and hate him with every fiber of your being, but your body betrays you as the sobs wrack through you. Your knees buckle beneath your weight, and Chris catches you with ease, his arms wrapping around you tight as you collapse against him.
He holds you like heâs trying to piece you back together, to try and mend whatâs been broken as his own cries echo yours. He strokes the back of your head and whispers apologies you donât want to hear.Â
Chris loves youâhe swears it, over and over againâbut love doesnât fix anything.
He loves you, but heâs destroyed you too.
âThank you for agreeing to meet me,â Chris whispers softly as you stiffly sit across from him at the table in the cafĂŠ. The room feels too calm and chilled compared to whatâs brewing inside you both. Itâs been a little over a week since you last saw Chris, having pulled out of his arms and bolting out of the house in a rush after your breakdown. âIâm, uh.. Iâm happy that you came.â
âYou and your brothers didnât exactly give me a choice,â you reply coldly, and the embarrassed flush that creeps up his neck tells you he knows exactly what you mean. His brothers had practically begged you to hear him out, to give him one last chance to explain himself.
You had agreed, but not because you wanted to. You had agreed because you needed the closureâyou needed answers.
Your hands tremble as you rub them together for warmth as you can feel them tingle with numbness. Chris notices this instantly. Of course he does. He always did have a way of reading youâknowing what you needed before you even had to ask, and just like he would have done before, he reached out, his hand hovering over yours.
âCâmere, let meââ
âNo,â you yank your hands back before his warmth can touch you, despite craving the heat that emits from his palms. You refuse to let him soothe you. Not now. Not after everything.
Chris flinches at your harsh words and actions, âIâm sorry,â he murmurs. âI just⌠I didnâtââ
 âCan you just tell me what you wanted to say?â you interrupt, your tone a lot colder than you meant it.Â
âEverything that happened that day⌠it didnât mean shit,â Chris jumps straight into it, his voice raw and desperate as he leans forward on the table. âIt was a huge fucking mistake, okay? Andâand I donât even know how it got that far. I fucked up. Bad. I know that. I didnât mean for it to happen, and I didnât want it to happen. You⌠youâve got to believe me.â
You let his words hang in the air, only hearing the distant clatter of cups and the coffee machines humming. Then, you speak, your voice steady but ice-cold. âHow did Ani get into the house?âÂ
Chris freezes, his face paling. His lips part like heâs about to respond, but no words come out.
You press on, âHow did her clothes come off? How did she get naked in our bed? How did you end up inside her?â Your breath hitches for a moment, the bile rising in your throat. âDid she do it all by herself?â
Chrisâ expression crumbles, and you believe he might actually break down right here in the middle of this cafĂŠ. But instead, he shakes his head quickly, his hands trembling on the table.
âAni means nothing to me. Nothing. But you mean everything to me, you always have,â he says, licking his lips nervously. âYouâre the first woman I ever fell in love with, okay? And I swear to god, youâll be the last.â
Tears sting your eyes, but you blink them back, unwilling to let him see you cry. Chris, on the other hand, makes no effort to hide as his shoulders shake slightly, his bright blues red-rimmed and glassy.
âI just⌠shit, baby. I love you so much, and I canât forgive myself for what I did. Iâll never forgive myself. Ever.â
âChris,â you speak his name, and his eyes snap up to meet yours, something desperate and hopeful swimming in his irises. âYou donât get to talk about love, Chris. Not after what you did. Love doesnât look like that.â
Chris opens his mouth to respond, but you hold up a hand to silence him. âYou donât get to apologise either. You donât get to tell me it was a âmistakeâ and that it âdoesnât mean shitâ because you made that choice in the first place. You chose her.â
He shakes his head quickly as his tears fall freely. âWhat? No... no, I didnât choose her, baby. Iââ
âAnd you canât say you love me when you were in bed with another woman. In the same bed where we shared our first kiss. In the same bed where I gave you my virginity. In the same bed where we made promises about our future together.â
âW-we can still do that,â Chris stammers, filled with fragile hope. âBaby, look at me. We can still keep those promises, okay? We can still have that future,â his hand twitches on the table like he wants to reach for yours. âWe can fix this, I swearââ
âWhat are you not understanding?!â you cut him off, your voice rising in a way that startles even you. Chris flinches back at your volume, his wide and tearful eyes locked on yours. âThat promise was broken the second you got into bed with Ani. You fucked up everything we had. Everything.â
âIâŚâ his voice cracks as he tries to speak. âIâm so sorry,â
His shoulders sag, and he wipes his nose and eyes with the sleeve of his jacket, looking like a pitiful man whoâs just lost everythingâand he has.Â
You shake your head, tears now spilling from your eyes as you bite down hard on your bottom lip, trying to ground yourself. You turn your head away from him and toward the window, watching the world outside as it moves on without you, and your stomach churns as you spot couples strolling by; their hands intertwined, their faces lit up with the kind of love and happiness you used to know.
One couple walks past, laughing as they nuzzle into each otherâs arms, and the sight makes your chest tighten, their joy feeling like a slap in the face to remind you of what youâve lost too.Â
It feels cruel, like the universe is mocking you.
You swallow hard as the bitterness consumes you. The thought of someone elseâs love life makes you feel sick. Itâs as if their happiness is rubbing salt into a wound thatâs already bleeding you dry.Â
You want to run. You want to scream. You want to cry. You want to disappear.
Actually, you just want to go home. To go home and to shut the world out.
âIâm gonna go,â your voice is quiet, but Chris hears it loud and clear as you push yourself up from your seat, zipping your coat as your hands tremble.
His eyes widen in panic, and he shoots to his feet. âWaitâwait, please,â he begs. âDonât go. Please just⌠just stay a little longer. Iââ
âDonât contact me again,â you say, watching as he blinks, taken aback. âWeâre done. For good. We⌠weâre never getting back together, Chris⌠not after this.â
Chrisâ tears fall harder as he chokes out, âIâm so fucking sorry.â
Before you can stop him, he grabs your arm and pulls you into a hug. You freeze as his arms wrap around you tightlyâdesperatelyâand you let him hold you, only because you know itâll be the last time. You pat his back awkwardly, the gesture hollow and distant, but you donât pull away. You let him cling to you as he sobs into your shoulder, his body shaking against yours. Â
Finally, he loosens his hold, his tear-streaked face tilting to meet your gaze. His eyes are all red, swollen, pleading.Â
âI love you.â
âGoodbye, Chris.â
And with that, you turn and walk away, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the cafĂŠ, refusing to look back at him as you push open the doorânot even when you hear his broken sobs behind you.
âChris hasnât been sleeping well. Heâs not eating either,â Nick says as soon as he walks through the front door of your apartment. He doesnât even stop to take off his jacket as he heads straight for the sofa where youâre curled up under a blanket, a pint of ice-cream nestled in your lap. âHe comes out of his room with bags under his eyes. Sometimes he doesnât come out at all. Itâs⌠itâs getting concerning.â
âShame,â you mutter, scooping a spoonful of vanilla ice-cream and shoving it into your mouth. You keep your eyes glued to the TV as you pretend Nick isnât even there. âDid you know the actor in this is forty? He looks twenty-seven at most⌠insane.â
Nick glances at the screen. âHavenât you already seen this episode?â
âYep.â
Your attention stays fixed on the TV as the main character and her love interest bicker back and forth over something stupid, and you let out a soft scoff, spooning another mouthful of ice-cream into your mouth.
Itâs so much easier to focus on fiction problems than your own.
However, Nick doesnât take the hint.
âChris said youâre completely done with him, like, Iâm talking thereâs no chance of you two getting back together,â his words come out slow and cautious as he eyes you. âI think you should reconsider, you know? Maybe just give him one more chance to fully explain himself. Just the two of youâno distractions.â
You glance down at your phone, ignoring the knot tightening in your chest. âI think itâs supposed to be really sunny tomorrow,â you say lightly, opening your weather app. âI might head down to the park or something.â
Nick blinks, baffled. âAre you even listening to me? Chris isââ
âOh my god, Nick. Just stop!âÂ
The words explode from your mouth before you can stop them, and Nick physically recoils, his eyes widening in shock with his hand firm against his chest. You throw the blanket off your lap and rub your palm against your forehead, exhaling heavily as the frustration burns through your veins.Â
âYou do this all the time⌠Chris did that, Chris did that. Chris feels like this, Chris feels like thatâI donât care!â
âHey⌠calmââ
âLook, I know heâs your brother. I get that, but youâre constantly talking about him. You bring him up in every single conversation we have now, and youâre pitying him like heâs the victim in all of this!â The tears begin to well in your eyes as your voice cracks, but you donât stop as you feel the anger bubbling up, making you powerless to contain it. âChris wasnât the one who got cheated on, Nick. Chris wasnât the one who had to find a new place to live. Chris wasnât the one who walked in on the love of his life balls deep in his best friend!â
Nick raises his hands in a defensive gesture, his voice softening. âIâm just trying toââ
âYou know, you havenât even asked me how Iâm feeling. Not even once,â your voice wavers now, raw and broken as you stare at him with tears dripping down your cheeks. âYou come over just to shove information about him down my throat. You⌠youâre making it impossible for me to breathe. Itâs like I canât even catch a break from him even though we broke up four weeks ago. Four weeks, Nick.â
âI just wanted toââ
âSo, what do you even tell him when you see him?â you cut him off, your tone sharp. Youâre aware that interrupting him all the time is starting to affect him as his jaw tightens a little, but you donât care. âDo you tell him how shitty Iâve looked or felt? Do you tell him that I cried for days until I was too numb to cry anymore? Do you tell him that I spent weeks wallowing in self-hatred wondering when I had become such a shitty girlfriend that he felt the need to cheat on me? Do you tell him that I blamed myself for all of it? That I thought I wasnât good enough?â
Nick stares at you, stunned into silence. He rubs the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze as he looks down. âItâs not like that,â he mutters. âI try to cheer him up, okay? Heâs aââ
âYou try to cheer him up,â you repeat with a bitter, humourless laugh. You sniffle, wiping your nose with the sleeve of your sweater. âThatâs great, Nick. Thatâs all I needed to know.â
Nick frowns as he takes a step toward you, âYouâre taking everything I say the wrong wayââ
âYouâre a really shitty friend, Nick,â you cut him off once again, and the words hit him like a punch to the throat. You can see it in the way his shoulders slump and his face falls. âItâs good to know where I stand with you on your friendship scale. Or are you only acting this way because itâs your brother? He gets a free pass?â
âIâŚâ he opens his mouth to respond, but no words come out as he looks at you helplessly.
âJust get out of my apartment,â you say firmly. âGo console your brother⌠make sure heâs all fine and well,â you turn on your heel, heading toward your bedroom with every intention of shutting the door and locking the world out.Â
But before you turn the corner, you pause, glancing back over your shoulder to see Nick who hasnât moved an inch; standing there frozen with his eyes filled with tears and guilt as he stares at you.
âI donât want to see any of your faces again.â
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