Too High To Be This Sad

Put this in the MOMA

a year later this is still the funniest video on the internet and i can’t even adequately explain why

wow

It’s a perfect blend of several major kinds of comedy: confessional, relatable observation comedy (who hasn’t had someone make an incorrect presumption based on your appearance?), absurdist prop comedy, and character comedy revolving around her looks, voice, and mannerisms. And reclining (almost) out of frame is the perfect button on the skit. It’s comedy genius.

why don’t any of the wrestling men just bring a glock into the rink

one day i will. then you’ll see. you will all fucking see

One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.

For example, I’ve watched someone walk on to a plane with no passport. Just walked right on.

Once walked out of a dude’s house with a pair of his pants slung over my shoulder. Did all the usual eye-contact, saying-goodbye movements and noises, just… while stealing his pants. He did not notice. 

I told my English teacher that she graded my final paper(I did not turn one in) and that she told me it was well written. She scrambled 3 days trying to find the nonexistent paper, then apologized to me for losing it and gave me a 96%. Confidence is key

my dad’s mate just walked out of a shop with a canoe and didn’t get questioned

Humans are like bees: if they sense you’re an intruder all hell will break loose, but if you get inside the hive they just assume you belong there. Be confident.

Bee confident

This is funny but also true, and a huge tip when traveling. Act like you belong, and you won’t be bothered like other tourists might. Especially on public transportation… do your research ahead of time and look like a disinterested commuter and you’ll blend right in.

Fun Fact about Bees: they use pheromones to communicate and the pheromone to signal ALARM is the same chemical that makes bananas smell like bananas so if you eat a banana and then breathe on a beehive you will regret it and this seemed relevant when i started writing it

SHE’S EIGHT

My heart busts a nut every time someone tells me they saw something and thought of me

i’m screaming???

ME