Music is Love in Search of a Word

Vladimir Horowitz

During first few years of our relationship, I couldn’t convince my partner that I liked playing the piano.

Isn’t that strange? I had committed the vast majority of my twenty years to studying this instrument and its history, but the person closest to me saw no evidence that I actually enjoyed it.

I don’t think I’m unique in this. How many times have you heard a student say “I hate practicing,” or a professional vent about how irritating it is to learn new music? Until very recently, I hate and I can’t were far more present in my internal dialogue than I love or I want to learn.

With this mindset, is it really a surprise that our practice sessions are full of anxiety?

If you’re like me, and the sentence I’m going to go practice now is often code for I’m going to go have a guilt-ridden panic attack at my instrument now, try a few small steps toward building a new mindset.

Step one: Tell yourself that playing your instrument is a comforting activity. Right now, that may or may not be true! Right now, touching your instrument might be one of the biggest panic triggers in your life!

But I promise it’s possible. It’s as simple as reframing your attitude toward making music. For instance, do we *have* to go practice, or do we *get* to go practice? Do we allow internal space for constant frustration at the learning process, or do we focus on how rewarding it is to watch a passage grow more beautiful day by day?

Step two: Every time you sit down to play, think about one or two things that are soothing about being at your instrument.

For instance:

I get to be alone

Playing Chopin makes it easier to handle sadness

I like the way the keys feel under my fingers

I feel powerful when I play octaves 

It doesn’t have to be much. Just notice something that comforts or soothes you about making music.

Step three: Experiment with going to your instrument for relief when you feel anxious. Often we avoid playing when we’re in a negative place emotionally. This just reaffirms our belief that practicing is scary and difficult! Instead, start thinking of a practice session as a tool to feel better. Breathe deeply. Truly listen to what you’re playing, so attentively that frightened thoughts have no room to speak. Find something beautiful in the passage and play it a few times just smiling about how beautiful it is.

Elgar - Enigma Variations

I usually write my own musings about works, but the description of this video was enlightening enough that I’m just going to share it here: 

sunday morning