MOVED TO @CELESTAEI

pulled from various online lists, some nsfw, some awkward, some cheesy. feel free to change pronouns or reverse as you see fit.

“Are you a monster? Because you look Frankenfine.”

“You must be the devil because it just got hot in here.”

“I’m not a bat but a night with me will turn your world upside down.”

“Are you a jack-o-lantern? Because you’re lighting up the room.”

“I’m not going as a ghost this year, but you can still get under my sheets.”

“Want to check my pants for a treat?”

“I’ll get your heart racing faster than the haunted house.”

“Want to get tangled in my spider web tonight?”

“Forget your broom, ride me instead?”

“If I were a zombie, I’d eat you first.”

“I bet I can make you scream tonight.”

“I don’t want your candy, I just want your number.”

“Isn’t it spooky how your number isn’t in my phone?”

“I ‘witch’ you’d go out with me.”

“I didn’t get any Hershey’s. Can you share some kisses?“

"I’m the ghoul for you.”

“You must be a zombie, you’re drop-dead gorgeous.”

“Talking to you makes me feel like I’m under a spell.”

“Are you a ghost? Because I think you should be my boo.”

“Normally I’d wish for Milky Ways but you’re the only treat I want this Halloween.”

“I must be a Jack-O-Lantern, ’cuz I light up everytime I see you.”

“Are you a bat? Because I sure am hung up on you.”

“If you play your cards right, you might be the one who sucks tonight.”

“Your costume looks complicated. Need help taking it off?”

“I would totally carve your pumpkin.”

“My striped stockings would look great on your bedroom floor.”

“Wanna see my Trojan Horse?”

“Nurse, can I have a little sugar to help the medicine go down?”

“I’m a handsome prince and my sword is no trick.”

“If you were a jack-o’-lantern, I’d totally light your candle.”

“Can I ride your broomstick? I lost mine.”

“You must love Halloween! You don’t need to buy a costume to look like an angel.”

“Arrrr, give me that booty!”

“You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.”

“Pardon me for drooling, but without my jaw, I can’t help myself!”

“Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Wanna search me for buried treasure?”

“That is quite the booty you’ve got there.”

“Want to be part of my costume? I’ll let you under my sheets.”

“Good thing I’m here, it has to be illegal to look that good.”

“You must be the answer to my prayers.”

“Hey Cinderella, it’s about time I took you home. It’s nearly midnight!”

“What’s a nice ghoul like you doing in a crypt like this?”

“I’m a doctor and you look like you could use these shots.”

“I’m dressed up as a werewolf right now, but I become a real beast in the bedroom.”

“Is that candy in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Trick or treat at my place and I guarantee you’ll get a full-size Snickers bar!”

“I’m an animal in the bedroom.”

“You’re the most boo-tiful ghost I’ve seen all night!”

“You’re a skele-10 in my book.”

“Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?”

“You know what they say about… Big Feet.”

“Why’d you dress up as a princess, when you could have simply come in plain clothes as “the most beautiful girl here”?”

“I know I don’t have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel speak.”

“You’re such a treat that I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.”

“Your mausoleum or mine?”

“Hey pumpkin, I bet I can put a smile on your face!”

“You look dead sexy. Mostly dead, but still sexy.”

“I heard there is a vampire on the loose you better stay with me tonight.”

“I didn’t know that my favorite Halloween treat came in life size!”

“That skeleton over there said he’d get your number for me, but he didn’t have the guts, so here I am.”

“ If you think I’m hot now, wait until you see what I turn into at midnight.”

“I can’t find a costume for Halloween, so can I just go as your boyfriend?”

“I can see a date in our future.”

“ Your costume must’ve brought all the boys to the graveyard.”

“Are you a spiderweb? Because I’m tangled up in you.”

“Just what I thought,  your costume is made out of 100% girlfriend/boyfriend material.”

“I guess I should’ve dressed up as a Zombie, you look like you have a lot of brains.”

“You look fang-tastic tonight.”

“We’d get along — I can feel it in my bones.”

“I’ve never seen one of these completely to my taste so i decided to make my own!

ANGST

“I can’t do anything right.”

“Please don’t cry.”

“Why are you awake right now?”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“Wake up! Please wake up.”

“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Is that blood?” “…..No?”

“Please don’t lie to me again, I can’t take it.”

“Do you even still love me?”

“Nobody’s seen you in days.”

“Why are you awake?”

“I’m worried about you.”

“Can you shut up for once in your life?”

“Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.”

“Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?”

“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

“Leave! Me! Alone!”

FLUFF

“Go with me?” “As long as you hold my hand.”

“Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?” 

“Have you seen my hoodie?” “Nooo.” “You’re wearing it, aren’t you?”

“Have you always been this beautiful?”

“OH you’re jealous!”

“Can we stay like this forever?”

“Please just kiss me already.”

“I think you might be my soulmate.”

“Sleep over? Please?”

“Are we on a date right now?”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“He’s so pretty I think I’m gonna faint.”

“Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

“Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“I missed you so much.”

“Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?”

“I’m here for you.”

“I wish we could live together already.”

MISC

“All I do is drink coffee and say bad words.”

“Quit touching me, your feet are cold!”

“I think I just ripped my pants.”

“Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!”

“Can I pet your dog?” “Do I know you?”

“Did you seriously just get your foot stuck in a toilet?” “Maybe.”

“If I die, I’m haunting you first.”

“But I’ve never told you that before.” 

“Stop being grumpy, it’s lame.”

“So, uh, I locked the keys in the car.”

“Is the cat in a onesie?” “Uh, no?

“Can we please stop running? I think I’m dying.”

“You come here often?” “Well, I work here. So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’.”

“Aren’t we supposed to be working?”

“Give me attention.”

“YOU SAID TO BE HONEST STOP HITTING ME!”

“Okay, so maybe I didn’t see that coming.”