{C.L}

right okay, when I first set up every single one of my social media accounts, I promised myself that I would never embarrass myself enough to rant, or expose myself to become vulnerable or anything like that. But this topic has hit me so hard that I feel I've just got to get it out in a safe place if you get me? and what's safer than 34 followers am I right? So today I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, and caught a glimpse of Joel Faviere, excited me thinking it was an alternative press article about a promise of a new album in 2017 I scrolled back up to have a look, only to see that the article was in fact an alternative press article about Joel Faviere being charged for more than 100 child pornography offences. Within an instant I went fucking cold and everything around me stopped, quite literally my whole fucking world slammed to a halt. At the age of 12 (A CHILD), I had my childhood ripped away from me by somebody that I called my best friend, and have been assaulted countless times since that day by 2 other males, all over the age of 16 (the age of a consenting adult). Joel Faviere was the person at that one point that I knew I could turn to, his music quite bluntly, stopped me from taking my own life on so many occasions I've lost count. I found his lyrics simply mesmerising, almost as if I got lost in them and they took me away to a different place, one that was anything but the, quite frankly, child exploitation I had suffered. I had even managed to exchange direct messages on twitter with Joel, which at the time was an absolutely blessing and lit up my fucking life, because honestly I can't even begin to tell you how much this man meant to me, I literally lived for him and his music. Even though the messages were nothing sinister in the slightest, it still makes my skin crawl to know that I was associating with my hero, the fucking pedophile, and discussing how much he's helped me through what had happened. This is quite honestly the biggest case of hypocrisy I have ever encountered first hand. I'm still in shock about it all, I've cried, refreshed the google search on 'Joel Faviere' infinite times hoping that a new article pops up, an apology, saying that the charges were false and this was all a terrible, terrible misunderstanding.