AVPD with Negativistic/Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder traits
Conflicted between longing for intimacy vs fear of vulnerability, combined
Combined with the N/PAPD ambivalence about themselves and others, they idealise close friends and partners, but if their autonomy is threatened they undermine or humiliate them
Combines AVPD tendencies for withdrawal with N/PAPD tendencies for “interpersonal guerilla warfare”
Attacks others for failing to show affection, but accuse those who do of trying to undermine their independence
Anticipate disappointment and fear, and may lash out indirectly by miscommunicating their actions and wishes
Feel misunderstood, unappreciated
Erratic mood, based on emotion, not logic
Deny past resentments and mask with content passivity, but when stressed are impulsively hostile
Due to people having difficulty relating to them, their feelings of alienation are made true. Their lack of relationships keep them safe from being criticised, but causes loneliness and isolation
The Hypersensitive Avoidant
People with PPD can’t acknowledge vulnerabilities, but people with AVPD are very aware of them. Hypersensitive Avoidants attribute their vulnerabilities to the actions of others as well as their own
High strung, prickly, hypervigilant to rejection, wary of other’s intentions
Intense moodiness, self-depreciation, alternating between depression and irrational fear
Protectively withdraw, cutting themselves off from support but also potential harm
Combine AVPD feelings of guilt, being misunderstood and unappreciated, and PPD feelings of irritability and anger towards those who are unsupportive, critical or disapproving
Increase of PPD traits as self-esteem goes down
May believe that their view of themselves as “pathetic” is due to other’s actions (external attribute vs internal, as in “pure” AVPD)
Increase of PPD traits in times of stress
Conflicted between desire for close relationships vs possibility of abandonment and criticism
“Barely tolerable” feelings of anxiety and dread
Shift feelings of fear and anger onto a symbolic substitute in order to prevent rejection, humiliation and shame (e.g., shifting their anxiety of rejection from their partner to anxiety about their neighbour’s dog, which enables them to continue to depend on their partner without fear)
Uses fear as a cry for help, lessening the possibility of abandonment by getting support
The Self-Deserting Avoidant
AVPD with Depressive Personality Disorder traits
Use fantasy to avoid discomfort of social interaction
They are aware of this avoidance and makes them more aware of their perceived inadequacy
Fantasy gradually becomes less effective, increasing their depression
“More and more, they cannot tolerate being themselves”, seeking to withdraw from not only relationships but themselves
Can lead to self-neglect, self harm and even suicide
Can cause emotional numbing and dissociation
In particularly severe cases, their sense of self may fragment, similar to STPD and BPD. This allows them to become observers of their situation without the emotional pain
- From Millon et al., Personality Disorders in Modern Life (2004)