Breathing

Hahaah I love this class! Me: ::low grumble:: Jaron: you guys ready to start class? Amanda: ::here:: as she hands me a bottle of ibuprofen. Jaron: oh come on, class isn't THAT bad! Amanda: ha! Its because her back has been hurting. Me: I said eeehhh, idk. How many millgrams? Amanda: 200. Me: is that high? Amanda ::chuckle:: no that's average. Jaron: I take like 6 at a time. Me: that's bad, that could kill you. Jaron: its fine! Me: why are they jelly and blue and long? Instead of small and brown? Jaron: it's JUST an Advil. Me: ibuprofen! Jaron: Do you need a half a capsule of it? Is that too much for you? Me: ::takes capsule from Amanda and injests it:: ::whispers to Amanda:: thanks for the drugs. Both of them: WOAH!! HEY!!!! Jaron: That sounded bad. ::we all hysterically laugh::

Do we public ally shame him or don't we?

The D log. Monday evening: slipping downhill fast. Monday night: cries endlessly over self loathing horrible thoughts that may or may not be real. Tuesday morning: staring at things and feeling really empty and angry still. Then an incident at work made it even worse. Tuesday afternoon: distracted with cleaning and other conventional things but cloud still stagnant. Tuesday early evening: goes to walk into the night to clear head (with the likes of Cat Stevens and Gordon Lightfoot) Tuesday evening during/after walk: great chat with friends and ?!?! To clear head more and music therapy. (Mountain Goats, Third Eye Blind and Phish) Tuesday night: going through getting rid of stuff again. What will Wednesday morning feel like? I feel less struggled and much stronger just by the love from some friends, a walk and music therapy. No knives either. Progress in baby steps,. #recovery #love #twloha #semicolon #semicolonproject #appreciate #depression #depressionlog #yesitsarealthing #thestruggleisreal #nodrugs