stell ★

Someone should remake that image, but with @the-rains-of-castamere's new user.

my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

no piece of teen media has ever accurately depicted the quiet psychological warfare of bullying. bullies on TV are always dumb brutes and not the evil geniuses of emotional manipulation that they are in real life. being given a wedgie and having your lunch money stolen is nothing in comparison to a classmate quietly creating a taboo against speaking to you that they intend to enforce against all the other kids. it’s nothing like continuous cutting comments from people you thought were being nice to you. that way that the work of one kid can make you feel like every person on earth silently hates you and that you are dirty, disgusting, worthless, creepy and useless. that you can have friends but many of them will not speak to you at school for fear of the social consequences on their end. how that damage lasts in any social setting for the rest of your life

you can’t even “tell a trusted adult” because you cannot begin to articulate the thousands of small transgressions you’ve experienced building to the horror of knowing your peers would like you dead. they don’t have to say it or hurt you physically. they have other ways of letting you know they’d prefer if you were worm food

what's up everybody currently i am having to grapple with the idea that it might be possible that the people reporting everything i post as CSAM are so fucking cooked that they genuinely believe the gachapon toys and roblox screenshots they are reporting are CSAM, how's your day going. account number 11 btw

if infohazards not real why knowing this makes my head horts

yeah.

remember this shit btw when this blog gets nuked. remember how fucking stupid this whole thing was and make sure to tell staff as directly as possible

how do you stick to a creative endeavour for more than 3 days at a time

lifelong depression has absolutely fried my brain everyone tells me "just do the thing you want to do and enjoy doing in order to improve at it" and i look at them like they're a fucking alien with unnatural powers

i tell them "you could not possibly understand how many times I've tried and failed to do that" then they look at me like I'm the alien. i guess i am the alien. living should not feel like such a burden to me