" deep crawling moss

Although Kurt wasn’t a fan of the place himself he had to agree it wasn’t as bad as what some people on the other side had to say. He kept it to himself most of the time but besides the annoying guy at the library no one had really bothered him much. “Yeah, true.” He said in a mumble. “It’s definitely boring to some but definitely not too bad. Could use better food though” he sighed. “And most of the staff are pretty nice.”

“Mmm? I think the food is pretty nice.” Which might sound surprising if you considered how well behaved and high maintanenance he seemed to sound, he didn’t mind the stale bagels or wry veggies as long as he was able to consume something still. Though he could comprehend the complaints of some people here. “The staff members are nice, yes. I’ve met a few who were very helpful.” Not all the patients were friendly. He learned that upon meeting David. But again it was better than what he imagined. “You have friends here?”

“Why not clean it then?” He asked, “I know I can’t sleep when my room is messy either and I have to clean it up.”

“I did.” Plenty of times, he said in his mind. “But I felt anxious afterward so I went outside, here to take in some air. I couldn’t handle the thought of my roommate messing it all up again.”

Did he miss home? It was a question Kurt had asked himself a lot. He didn’t even know if he could remember what home was like for him when he had been around in this place for quite a while things would start to become blurry. “Same. I think I’ve been here longer though. It’s been almost a year I think.” And so little improvement he added in his head. “You like it here?”

It was strange to say at least, to be around people who’d been here just as long as he had if not more. Joshua started to feel like it was normalcy to be confined in this building and in the deep pit of his belly he began to sense nervousness beginning to grow. He shouldn’t get used to here. “Almost a year? that’s a long time.” He said musing softly. “I wouldn’t say I enjoy my time but some people here have been nothing but kind. It’s better than what I imagined at first.”

“Yeah sure.” He nodded, glad to know he was at least understanding but how long would that last? What if he was just going to turn his back and make it seem like Kurt was the one who had dragged him outside? The paranoia was always high but he didn’t want to make it too apparent. “So how long have you been around?” He asked as he began to walk.

The apparent suspicion was beginning to seem off putting but he had a feeling both of them were trying their best to make this work, so he wouldn’t scrap this while thing up yet. Plus acquaintances were always good. They could get him through the day when things were difficult. “A few months, hopefully won’t be any longer. I quite miss home already.” He answered. “What about you?”

“Walk? Uh yeah sure.” Matt said with a shrug, not minding a walk, even if he didn’t really know this guy. “So why you up so late? Insomniac or something?”

He nodded in gratitude and mulled over his thoughts at the question. “You could say that. And my room was very messy, it was hard for me to sleep without feeling a bit disturbed.”

“Uh sure, I mean, a little walk hasn’t killed anyone haha.” 

“True.” He thought that was a weird joke but refrained himself from saying it outloud. “How are you tonight, sir?”

No matter how quiet he was Kurt was usually more willing to talk. It was just the imminent fear of being struck by nightmares again that put him off and he’d rather only say a few words rather than tell something too strange. “Nice to meet you too, Joshua. I’m Kurt.” He began scratching his head eyes narrowing slightly. “I’m sorry I’m just not really here right now. Maybe the outside can help.”

The air of awkwardness was already contagious. This made Joshua wonder if he should’ve stayed in his room and worry about the slightest rumples in his bed, but that notion alone gave him the hives again and maybe just maybe this man could indeed be better outside. “That’s alright, I don’t talk too much too. We could just enjoy the silence.” He offered. “Shall we?”

Truth be told Rooney has seen that reaction too many times before. It’s a shame so many patients are so intimidated by the staff even though he’s sure none of them ever truly meant any harm. They can be harsh, yes but they’re doing it for the other’s good. Hoping he could at least make this one feel more at ease, Rooney gives a soft smile. “That sounds good. Need to bring anything before we go and where exactly would you like to go again?”

He tried to keep his cautioness at bay remembering he had sort of driven one of the staff members around here to a semi panic attack before and he wouldn’t want to do it again, mostly because he didn’t want to get into anymore trouble. Or at all. Joshua wanted out of this place as soon as he could. “No, no. If I could keep this coffee then that would be great but that’s about it.” He said with a smile. “The garden, if that’s okay.”

Rooney has to consider the question for a moment - it’s not really his place to chaperon patients to safety outside the med room but the orderlies seem to be preoccupied with other tasks. Huh. There is no harm in letting someone get a fresh intake of air as long as they’re watched. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be with you though and you can’t stay out there for too long. Curfew’s up soon.”

He was a staff member. Feeling his mouth dry a little at the realization, he thought he had gotten himself tangled in possible horde of questions but it turned out the other male seemed to be civil and not as potruding. Joshua wasn’t sure what he would say if he started questioning his reasons to be out, the real reasons. He couldn’t stand his room. “Absolutely. It’ll take a few minutes or half an hour at most.” He said, giving a slight smile. “It was just getting too stuffy in my room.”

“Sure.” Kurt said nodding his head a bit. He hadn’t been able to sleep for the past hours because he was afraid of being struck with terrors again. He didn’t know the guy but it was better than being haunted again.

“Right.” Just his luck. The young man didn’t seem to like talking a lot and he was sure that would turn this encounter a bit intense if not weird. But both of the seemed to need the opportunity to escape for a bit. “My name’s Joshua. Nice to meet you. ”

If Azalea hadn’t felt as if she was losing her mind before entering the asylum, she most certainly did now. She was accustomed to her freedom, her space, and the endless endeavors to pursue in the bustling fray of New York City. Here, she felt caged in. Trapped. And it was driving her absolutely stir crazy. “Do the Powers That Be even allow us to take walks this late?” Her gut instinct was to lash out, to tell him to leave her be and bask in her own isolation, but she bit her tongue. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and if a walk could break the monotony of this god forsake place she’d take it. “Fine. Sure. Where are we walking to, anyway?”

A soft chuckle escaped the male’s lips, her choice of words amused him. She didn’t seem to be the type of person who would just willingly accompany anyone but he was glad she agreed to this for some reason. She looked talkative and he needed someone to balance his potential quietness. “I don’t think so, but it won’t be long. I’m sure they’ll understand.” There were patients with worse crimes anyway, those were the people they needed to keep an eye on. “The garden. It’s quiet and nice there.”

Clasping her hands together, the blonde looked down. What were they supposed to talk about? What was anyone supposed to talk about in here? “Oh-” Gwendolyn held her hands up and shook her head. “I don’t have the power for that but if they complain, I’ll just use the age card; it’s worked before.” It sounded like he had got her confused with staff. “Please, it’s Gwendolyn, Gwen. Whatever you like.” The woman didn’t care about people using her full name anymore, not like she used to. In the past, her name made her feel empowered but all that sense of control had now been simply dismissed.”

“The age card?” He asked, his smile was still there as if to let her know the query wasn’t intended to be offensive, he was simply curious as to what she meant by that. Joshua wasn’t that frightened of bending the rules just a tad as he had been quite an obedient patient since he had arrived here. Surely people wouldn’t mind him getting a bit loose, as long as it wouldn’t be harmful. “Gwendolyn. That’s a beautiful name. Suits you.” He said, genuinely. With a soft cock of his head he began to walk toward the exit. “How are you doing tonight, Gwendolyn?”

“I was gonna say Like a stick in the mud, but sure, we’ll go with that, starshine.” He shrugged. Even though David generally, wasn’t afraid, when both of Joshua’s hands went behind his back, he took a step away slightly. His time in here and in prison had taught him to be cautious. Sighing, he nodded “I haven’t disassociated myself in a while. But I feel like I’m going to be sick and I want to get back to my normal way of things. But I know it’ll ruin what I’ve got going on right now. But it’ll ruin itself eventually anyway if I keep up a charade.” He didn’t like being this open with a stranger, but it was better than talking to actual staff. “David. Nice to meet you.”

His smile faded a bit when he realized what he thought was going to be some sort of flattery was nothing but a jab to his choice of attire. “It’s not that bad.” He quickly defended, getting a bit worried and thinking he might’ve messed up his shirt . Quickly he began to straighten it and tried to notice any patterns which could’ve been amiss. “And what exactly constitutes as your normal way of things?” He asked, concerned. What if he turned to be one of the bad people? There was nothing much Joshua could do to defend himself. At the introduction he nodded his head. “Would you like to go now?”

“Oh, so you just look like that all the time?” He asked, teasing, but noting that he had initially thought the man would have been part of some sort of staff. But then again he wasn’t really dressed the part. Maybe David was just assuming because he didn’t want to care. “Everyone in here is troubled.”

“Proper and well mannered? I’d hope so.” He said, his tone also hinting a small light of playfulness as he placed his hands behind his back. Joshua enjoyed looking neat, it relaxed him to know nothing was sticking out of place not even his own attire. “I know. You just seemed as though you were about to disassociate. That’s not the case, is it?” He asked. “My name’s Joshua.” 

“Sure, I could do with the walk.” Gwendolyn was starting to get bored of everything here; there was too much routine and she felt like her brain was just shutting down. Nothing was stimulating for her and she needed find something worthwhile to do with her time. A year or two ago, the woman would have loved to talk about herself constantly but now she had to talk about her feelings daily and nothing seemed to help. Looking towards the male, the small blonde smiled before standing up. 

“Good.” He said in return with a smile of his own. Joshua didn’t think he’d seen this woman before but he was not the one to interact with many patients or even the staff, he only knew about one or two staff but never paid attention to anyone else. It just sounded useless when he was planning to get out of this place as quickly as possible. “I’m Joshua.” he continued. “You don’t mind bending the curfew for a little bit do you, ma’am?”

Chewing the inside of his lip to avoid scratching at his face or arms, which were clearly beaten up, he shrugged. “I’m fine,” He lied. It wasn’t that he was ill. Just that he was making himself sick by not getting to be..himself. “Most of the staff actually usually ignore and avoid me unless they have to..So why aren’t you?”

He was clearly not fine but it was not Joshua’s place to potrude, they barely knew each other afterall so in response he just gave the young man a nod. “Maybe it’s because I’m not staff?” He said with a little smile, he would understand the confusion though since he was a lot more polite than most patients here. “And you just seemed troubled so I thought I’d talk and see if I could offer you company.”

“Yeah I’m okay….I just dissociated is all. You were probably talking to Jason or ace not me, and I just kinda popped in just now..”