warning: swearing, the lyrics of wap is ns/fw obvs. grab a bucket n a mop boys.
THE SONG, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND
HAS HEARD IT A FEW TIMES → FUTAKUCHI, Kindaichi, Ushijima
HASN’T HEARD THE SONG YET → Lev, Kita
↓ WAP LEGENDS CONTINUE BELOW ↓
CAN THEY DO THE TIKTOK DANCE?
DOES THE DANCE PERFECTLY, DOWN TO THE TWERK INTO THE SPLIT→ ATSUMU (top video), BOKUTO (second top video but its better), Tanaka, Saeko (lesbians love her), Sakusa (flexible king), Iwaizumi, Sugawara
PRETTY GOOD AND ACCURATE BUT THE LIGHTING WAS TERRIBLE SO IT KINDA RUINING THE EXPERIENCE → Suna (it was a fucking smokey garage wtf), Akaashi, Aran, Asahi(he looked like he was having a panic attack)
GOOD SPIRIT, HORRIBLE EXECUTION → Hinata, Oikawa (just cant move what he doesnt have), Yaku (alt tiktok adopted him), Daichi, Noya (ripped his pants), Goshiki, Osamu
HAS THAT FIRST KICK UP PERFECT BUT AFTER THAT BLANKS OUT AND STRUGGLES TO KEEP UP→ HINATA (got stuck in a split), Terushima, Koganegawa(ended up doing the macarena)
FORGOT TO TURN OFF THEIR RECORDED AUDIO SO YOU CAN HEAR THEIR HIP AND KNEES CRACKING AT EVERY MOVEMENT → Tendou, Konoha, Tsukishima (only tried for yams)
TRIED TO MAKE A LESS VULGAR VERSION BUT ITS NOT EVEN HALF AS GOOD → Yamaguchi (makes tutorial videos), Kiyoko (its just sweet but got picked up by religious southern tiktok), Aone (cult favourite), Semi
THEY DID IT IN A WILLY WONKA OUTFIT AND HAVE AQUIRED CLOUT → Kuroo (long story)
THEY CAN’T OKAY, STOP ASKING THEM TO TRY → Kageyama, Yachi (still uncomfortable with the word vagina you think she can do this), Kenma (unless you subscribe to his top tier on patreon), Shirabu
DID THE CHICKEN DANCE INSTEAD BUT PPL ON TIKTOK ARE STILL THIRSTING OVER THEM → Hanamaki, Matsukawa, Kunimi
DO THEY KNOW THEIR MEGAN? THEIR CARDI?
GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME, DRIP DOWN THE SIDE OF ME / QUICK, JUMP OUT ‘FORE YOU LET IT GET INSIDE OF ME / I TELL HIM WHERE TO PUT IT, NEVER TELL HIM WHERE I’M 'BOUT TO BE
↳ Atsumu learned the entirety of this megan verse because he didn’t come to play. in fact he uses the first line to count out his new serve. he keeps asking to have the song be used as their team entrance song but the coach said no. this verse is his entire personality at the moment.
I WANT YOU TO PARK THAT BIG MACK TRUCK RIGHT IN THIS LITTLE GARAGE / MAKE IT CREAM, MAKE ME SCREAM / OUT IN PUBLIC, MAKE A SCENE / I DON’T COOK, I DON’T CLEAN / BUT LET ME TELL YOU HOW I GOT THIS RING
↳ Bokuto just likes yelling “THAT BIG MACK TRUCK rightinthislittlegarage” at the top of his lungs whenever theres a lull in conversation. made a joke in a post game interview about “how he doesnt cook or clean but hes gonna get that ring” and everyone thought he meant getting married but he was making a joke about championship rings.
I DON’T WANNA SPIT, I WANNA GULP / I WANNA GAG, I WANNA CHOKE / I WANT YOU TO TOUCH THAT LIL’ DANGLY THING THAT SWING IN THE BACK OF MY THROAT
↳ Terushima genuinely raps this and ends the verse yelling “ITS UVULA!” because he may be a bad bitch but hes still a nerd through and through. he also likes this verse because he can show off his tongue ring while pretending to choke himself out. winks at the homies while doing it too.
YOU CAN’T HURT MY FEELINGS, BUT I LIKE PAIN / IF HE FUCK ME AND ASK “WHOSE IS IT?” / WHEN I RIDE THE DICK, I'MA SPELL MY NAME, AH
↳ Sugawara knows the entire song, but for some reason this megan verse gets him feisty. he’ll be in a super market and he’ll yell “whEN I RIDE THE DICK IMMA SPELL MY NAME” because its blasting in his airpods. he gets really into it and does some hand movements/hip shaking, but what really works is that whenever he does the “whose is it” he points at someone.
NOW GET A BUCKET AND A MOP, THAT’S SOME WET-ASS PUSSY / I’M TALKIN’ WAP, WAP, WAP, THAT’S SOME WET-ASS PUSSY / MACARONI IN A POT, THAT’S SOME WET-ASS PUSSY, HUH
↳ Hanamaki CANNOT stop singing this in ben shapiro’s voice. makki literally says “wet ass p word” in the most serious voice. and instead of rapping a verse he’ll say dumb shit like “ let’s say, purely hypothetically speaking, this genitalia is moist externally.” IM GONNA BEAT HIM UP THIS JOKE HAS GONE TOO FAR. he even does the little mopping movements for every chorus.
THERE’S SOME WHORES IN THIS HOUSE / THERE’S SOME WHORES IN THIS HOUSE / THERE’S SOME WHORES IN THIS HOUSE
↳ Akaashi cannot stop whispering this under his breath. He’s walking to work? theres some whores in this house He’s parallel parking his car? theres some whores in this house. this refrain is the most important lyric to his emotional growth in 2020, more than the time bokuto ripped his pants the first time he tried the dance.
NOT A SINGLE LYRIC, CANT RETAIN ANYTHING
↳ Hinata has listened to this song more times than anyone. probably more times than the producer. he just cannot contain the lyrics. hes uncomfortable with half the words, and instead of saying pussy he says “puthy” with a fake lisp (he thinks the wet and gushy clean version is worse). he just cannot rap. yamaguchi is trying to teach him though.
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