being ok.

12:07 am i broke down in my mothers arms, she spent the next two hours in bed with me

6:55 am woke up and prayed for it to be a bad dream, mother made me stay home from school because i couldn’t hold it together

9:01 am dragged myself out of bed and sobbed into my coffee out on the patio

10:12 am started my favorite movie (ironically the same one we watched the first time you came over) it took me over 2 hours to finish because i kept pausing it to cry

12:21 pm sat at my window and cried for twenty minutes while i watched and waited for you to come down the road and run up the driveway on your release.. but you never came

1:34 pm my mother came home on her lunch to check on me and attempt to shove food down my throat

3:09 pm i swiped your cookies from the pantry and chucked a few across the yard

8:31 pm i haven’t cried in over three hours and i’m not sure if it’s denial or that i’ve simply run out of tears