Gnawing The Nib

Because I love her so much and I want everything for her. I want the best for her and I want to give her everything. I’m worried I’m. Not good enough. It’s hard for me to believe that I can be because...I don’t feel that it’s fundamentally possible.

Something in me also refuses to step away. But I feel desperate, like I’m trying to tread water in midair, like I feel that I should know already the nature of the drink I’m in without ever having drunk it before. I want so desperately to express this love but I just as desperately believe that I don’t know how. Not in the way I imagine, or the way I want. I’m worried that amongst this she will see the dullest parts of me, or the worst parts, or worse of all, she will see the true parts and want nothing to do with them.

And to hear her voice

I have never met anyone so unhesitatingly kind. And unflinchingly generous.