Mahtew White Blog

Listen To “The Piano Guys” Take You Through 50 Years Of Batman

What?! The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. I’m trying not to, kid.

Jedi Academy

Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone.…

Listen To “The Piano Guys” Take You Through 50 Years Of Batman

What?! The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. I’m trying not to, kid.

Jedi Academy

Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone.…

These Beauty Ingredients From The Past Could Actually Kill You. This Was Okay?

Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs? Tell them I hate them. Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn’t rock.

The Honking

Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. Actually, that’s…

11 Reasons Why You Should Start Losing Weight Right Now. Like, Right Now.

Keep your mind limber. Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. This man is a knight in shining armor. Keep your mind limber. You all right, Dexter?

Born Free

Watching ice melt. This is fun. Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. I’m real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you…

11 Reasons Why You Should Start Losing Weight Right Now. Like, Right Now.

Keep your mind limber. Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. This man is a knight in shining armor. Keep your mind limber. You all right, Dexter?

Born Free

Watching ice melt. This is fun. Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. I’m real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you…

18 Animals With Ridiculously Misleading Names. Where Did They Come Up With These?

Well, how’d you become king, then? Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! I dunno. Must be a king. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

What… is your quest?

Burn her anyway! Now, look here, my good man. What do you mean?

Camelot!

Burn her!

We want a shrubbery!!

Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!

I’m not dead!

Why? Found them? In Mercia?! The…

18 Animals With Ridiculously Misleading Names. Where Did They Come Up With These?

Well, how’d you become king, then? Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! I dunno. Must be a king. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

What… is your quest?

Burn her anyway! Now, look here, my good man. What do you mean?

Camelot!

Burn her!

We want a shrubbery!!

Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!

I’m not dead!

Why? Found them? In Mercia?! The…

This Is The Damage A Presidential Term Or Two Can Do. Look At Those Wrinkles!

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

Army of Ghosts

You’ve swallowed a planet! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Father…

The Ghosts of Chernobyl Live In This Creepy Amusement Park. Can I Go??

Fry! Stay back! He’s too powerful! I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? I love you, buddy!

The Deep South

Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. Say it in Russian! You lived before you met me?! Ooh, name it after me! Oh, I think we should just stay friends. Why would a robot need to drink?

Oh, how I wish I could believe or…

21 Important Life Lessons You Can Learn From Sheeps! We mean it!

Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi. Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi. Et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam.

Et Harum Qidem Rerum

Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam.…

21 Important Life Lessons You Can Learn From Sheeps! We mean it!

Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi. Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi. Et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam.

Et Harum Qidem Rerum

Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam.…

These Pixelated Portraits Are Created Using Something Unexpected, But Genius.

A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours.

The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

D’oh. What’s the point of…

These Incredible Portraits Weren’t Captured With A Camera, But With A Pencil.

It’s only a model. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. He hasn’t got shit all over him. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

What… is your quest?

The Knights Who Say Ni…

These Incredible Portraits Weren’t Captured With A Camera, But With A Pencil.

It’s only a model. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. He hasn’t got shit all over him. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

What… is your quest?

The Knights Who Say Ni…

This Culture Mourns Their Lost Loved Ones With A Unique Burial Process.

OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.

The Cyber House Rules

Ummm…to eBay? Hey,…

This Culture Mourns Their Lost Loved Ones With A Unique Burial Process.

OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.

The Cyber House Rules

Ummm…to eBay? Hey,…

8 Heartbreaking Pictures That Will Make You Appreciate Life

Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. He taught me a code. To survive. You’re a killer. I catch killers. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter.

Road Kill

God created pudding, and then he rested. You all right, Dexter? I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! I’m…