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lads had a dream last night that i was at the elton john concert and halfway through crocodile rock he switched to a prince medley and real live flesh and blood prince walked out on stage, and into the stunned, hushed silence i said quietly, “i thought you were dead” and he looked straight at me through the crowds of a million people, put his mouth against the mic, and said “do i look like the kind of man who dies” absolute legend 

This wasn’t a dream this was a premonition

My Only Tumblr Activity is Follows From Bot Porn Accounts: More at 11, only on Channel 9 Eye Witness News

this is still very relevant.

hollywood’s been trying to sexualize jimmi simpson for fuckin YEARS and it hasn’t worked. the stench of mcpoyle is too strong. they made him hackerman in house of cards, bad boy black hat in westworld, but we knew better. he stank of milk. but now he pulls his lycra space pants down to reveal his barbie mound and im here for it?? wtf 2018???

the 2018 oscars are going to be even worse than usual because i can almost guarantee you a bunch of chucklefucks are gonna crack wise about all the sexual assault allegations. some straight celebrity is gonna go up to the mic, make a completely inappropriate quip about harvey weinstein, and less than five minutes later there’ll be a buzzfeed article with the headline “Watch This Woke Ally Just Totally Fucking Pulverize Hollywood Abusers” and then at some point during the night the academy will probably find a way to honor woody allen