Can I be him? | @literaryavenger

When Bucky finds something of yours, he hopes against hope that you feel the same way about him.

Enhanced!Fem!Reader

Happy Birthday | @/literaryavenger

It's your birthday and the only person who doesn't seem to be excited about it is you

jealousy, jealousy | @auroralwriting

bucky hates when his girl has to flirt with the enemy

Knock You Down a Peg or Two | @navybrat817

Someone learns the hard way that it's a bad idea to upset Bucky's wife.

Not Exactly a Secret | @/navybrat817

You and Bucky are really good teammates... and more.

Don't Look or Touch | @/navybrat817

 Bucky isn't having a good day and John suffers the consequences.

Blurb | @sunskisser

tell me you love me | @raven-dor

The Soldier and His Mission | @magical-reid

When a trigger sends Bucky back into the grip of the Winter Soldier, he shadows you with an unyielding protectiveness that leaves the team on edge, though he doesn't harm anyone. After days of tension and careful steps, Bucky finally breaks through the icy barrier, returning to himself in a quiet, tender moment, finding solace in your presence.

Boulevard Confessions | @elixirfromthestars

Being a third wheel to Peggy and Steve wasn't your ideal Thursday night fun. However, when they tell you Bucky is tagging along you eagerly decide to join them. That is until a third party makes its presence known.

By The Warmth Of The Oven | @/elixirfromthestars

You are baking cookies for the Avengers holiday party when a certain super solider comes into the kitchen tipsy for the first time...

Once Upon A December | @anonymityisfunwriter

Haunted Eyes | @brokenbarnes

Based on the Episode “The Power Broker” from the Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Zemo is offering the Winter Soldier to Selby for payment, but the reader plays his handler.

Echos | @/brokenbarnes

Bucky's worst nightmare comes true. You come back to him after taking a turn in Hydra's electric chair.

Smitten | @aquaticmercy

Sam finally meets Bucky’s girlfriend, though you’re not who he thinks you are.

Small Circles | @/aquaticmercy

Bucky Barnes is still getting used to modern dating… and hates that you have to work with your exes.

Have We Met Before? | @/aquaticmercy

America Chavez says that you and Bucky are together in every universe. 

The Catalyst | @/aquaticmercy

In this universe, you and Bucky are happy. In other universes, it might not be that simple.

Interstate Love Song | @/aquaticmercy

Bucky tells the team he saw his Hydra days in The Void. You are the only one who knows him well enough to know he is lying.

friendly banter | @wwinterwitch

sam asks for your help on a mission. you're reunited with him, Joaquín and Bucky. the last one really likes to banter. you think it's just a friendly exchange. it's actually a bit more than that

How To Impress a 21st Century Girl. | @brunchable

Sam had forced Bucky to use Tinder to solve his abysmal love life. Bucky tells himself that if third time isn't a charm, he will officially give up trying to find a partner.

𝙄 𝘿𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙇𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝘽𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙁𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙  Part Two | @/brunchable

Bucky can't decide if the universe loves him or hates him. Maybe it loves to hate him. Maybe it's mischievous. Because he’s in love. He’s madly, deeply, painfully in love with a girl that he knows he’ll never have. Because the heavens created arguably the most perfect creature in their repertoire, dangled you in front of him for his entire life, and chose to rip you away before he had the chance to tell you how he felt.

Everything's Just Perfect |  @ama3003

You're Bucky's ex-wife and you always seem to be there whenever he needs you.

Bucky vs Bucky |  @buckyalpine

Imagine time travel going wrong again and instead of 1 Bucky you have 2; one from the present and also one from the 40′s standing on the platform with him. 

Come back to you | @/buckyalpine

What happens when a time travel mission ends up with a version of Bucky from the 40′s standing on the time travel platform.

40s Sergeant Barnes with a nurse!reader | @/buckyalpine

blurred lines | @ellemj

When choosing a female agent to send back in time to gain young Sergeant Barnes's trust, everyone's in agreement that it should be Sharon. Until Bucky, the man that you barely get along with, speaks up and lets everyone know that it could only be you.

Against the Rules | @/ellemj

Bucky's trying to fuck you senseless so you'll have to sleep over. Isn't that how a friends with benefits situation is supposed to work?

I Hate You | @/ellemj

y/n has these weird mind powers where she can feel others feelings or make others feel hers...she accidentally during a very heated fun time projects everything she is feeling to Bucky, basically doubling his pleasure

a soldier's solace  Pt 02 | @daystarpoet

Bucky has kept his marriage secret for three years now. He always intended to keep it that way. That was until a mission went sideways, and he found himself having to resort to the one person he swore to protect.

charming boy out of time | @/daystarpoet

Bucky Barnes never fell off that train, instead, he joined Steve Rogers in his attempt to take down HYDRA. They both emerged seventy years later, in the 2010s. The tale of the two times Bucky failed to charm you, and the one time he almost succeeded.

Buckyvision Masterlist | @mrsbarnesblog

when Bucky comes back from a mission with a knife wound there is only one person who can convince him to get help

Next Door to Love | @jobean12-blog

When you made the move to the city you never expected your new neighbor to be so sweet and helpful...or hot.

Everything You Want | @/jobean12-blog

there’s no one you trust more than your husband and he always knows exactly what you want.

Stuck in the Middle | @helaintoloki

you come home from work to find the last person on earth you want to see cooking dinner in your kitchen

Somethin’ Stupid  part two | @/helaintoloki

a drunken confession spoils a perfectly good evening

Everybody Loves Somebody | @/helaintoloki

Thrown into a blind date against his will, Bucky does his best to prepare in the days leading up to Saturday night, a feat that proves to be much more difficult than expected thanks to his neighbor across the hall.

40s!bucky | @/helaintoloki

after accidentally sending yourself back in time, you run into a younger version of the man you loathe only to find yourself questioning your feelings for him

A Favor | @/helaintoloki

you pretend to be Bucky’s girlfriend in order to help his campaign despite your very real feelings for him

Misunderstanding | @/helaintoloki

you accept Bucky’s invitation to attend Tony’s charity gala as his date, but your night quickly turns sour when you find out about his bet with Natasha

A Kiss To Change Everything | @marvelwitchergilmore

When Bucky becomes the Winter Soldier again, he follows you around. Only you. Funny thing is, you and Bucky aren't exactly friends. So why is the Winter Soldier protecting you?

Winter's Child | @/marvelwitchergilmore

You and your daughter live across the hall from Bucky. However, one night when your daughter won't settle, you turn to him for help.

What If?... | @vunblr

Bucky navigates his insecurities and guilt from his past as he grows closer to his new neighbor, a nurse.

Arm Pat | @skaye44

You go on a date with Bucky and hit it off, or so you think, but it ends weirdly. Nat steps in and gets other agents involved to send you flowers and gifts to get Bucky's attention and make him jealous for screwing up.

Meet my Family | @/skaye44

Your parents want to meet your boyfriend Bucky which you agree, but the whole family invites itself along for the meeting.

begin again. | @sergeantbuckybarnes

When you go to meet your friend at her work you see a cute guy had been stood up, so you’re going to be the best date of his life.

everything i wanted | @/sergeantbuckybarnes

Bucky asks you to pick Rebecca from school, as you spend the day with her, you can’t help to think that this is what you want, for the rest of your life.

Amnesia | @/sergeantbuckybarnes

During a fight in Madripoor you get hit in the head resulting in forgetting the last ten years of your life. And most important, your boyfriend.

Loverboy | @thevillainswhore

Bucky, a lovesick, pining super soldier, vows to keep his feelings for you a secret — no matter how obvious his crush may seem. Those plans are ruined between a meddling Sam, an embarrassing fall, and a visit to the medbay with you.

you or nothing |  @feathersandferns

when the Thunderbolts enter the void, Bucky goes missing. You take it upon yourself to find him, venturing into his deepest pockets of his shame.

congressman!bucky x fem!reader | @bruisedboys

Voicemails to an Unmanned Inbox | @pellucid-constellations

When Bucky takes an argument a little too far, you take off. All he wants is for you to come back home.

Voicemails to an Unmanned Inbox | @/pellucid-constellations

When Bucky takes an argument a little too far, you take off. All he wants is for you to come back home

Five Moments in Time | @/pellucid-constellations

All of the moments in which Sergeant Barnes let the nurse on his unit know he’s not gonna stop trying to win her over. Even from beyond the grave. (40s!Bucky)

Grip | @/pellucid-constellations

You knew Bucky didn't like his arm. You just didn't know how much until he accidentally hurt you with it.

Counting | @/pellucid-constellations

Time heals all wounds. Bucky’d been holding onto that proverb ever since blip. But time had never been particularly kind to him, so he opted to keep track of the sweet girl’s in his apartment building instead, the one that made him banana bread and took him to diners at two in the morning. Sometimes, you didn’t keep the same schedule. That made Bucky panic.

Easy |  @jaggedamethyst

life with bucky is amazing…but it’s easy to feel like you’re not enough when your relationship is a secret.

drawing the line |  @fireinmoonshot

Bucky Barnes has messed up big time ... he just doesn't know it until he sees you and realises he really should've checked his texts.

The One That Got Away | @writing-for-marvel

When Bucky enters the void, he expects his memories as The Winter Soldier to haunt him, or perhaps even death itself, instead, he finds himself face to face with you the night you broke up.

The One That Got Away (2)  | @/writing-for-marvel

After reliving your break up as his shame room experience, Bucky goes to deliver an overdue apology to you - what he doesn’t expect to find out is you suffered through the same worst memory.

The Third Wheel | @/writing-for-marvel

When Bucky finally asks you out on a date, the last thing you expect is for his high school crush Connie to also have been invited.

40’s!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Dye Me a Lie | @byhuenii

When Natasha found out about the Quiz which showed which Avenger you should date, the Avengers decided they all should take the test and go on these dates.

Your Touch | @marvelettesassemblenow

Bucky hadn’t been long at the compound when he noticed that others sought you out to calm down. So slowly he started too and had to figure out his feelings for you

Sleepy Heads | @winterarmyy

 That time when the reader accidentally fell asleep on a stranger’s shoulder in the subway ride home. The stranger in question, however, is none other than the former Winter Soldier, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

He Hates Me, Doesn't He? |  @/winterarmyy

You hurt Bucky's girl, and now he hates you.

starry eyed | @flowersforbucky

reader gets a special gift from her secret santa

moth to a flame |  @/flowersforbucky

bucky is triggered into the winter soldier during a mission and then goes MIA, until he seeks you out in the middle of the night.

love language  | @/flowersforbucky

snapshots of your relationship with bucky told through the five love languages.

lessons in lovemaking [masterlist] | @artficlly

You and Bucky Barnes go undercover as a married couple, but when a fake kiss gets too real, he unexpectedly finishes in his pants—leaving you both stunned.

his girls |  @/artficlly

alpine barely tolerates anyone but bucky, so when she curls up in your lap without a second thought, the team is left reeling—especially when it leads to the not-so-subtle revelation that you and bucky have been sneaking around for months.

A Quiet Escape | @thebarneschronicles

During a holiday stay at Clint Barton’s home, you’ve been desperately trying to steal a moment alone with Bucky—your super-soldier boyfriend—but the Avengers are constantly interrupting. Between Clint’s kids, Steve’s “bromantic” grocery runs, and Nat pulling Bucky into sparring sessions, it feels like you’re constantly fighting for his attention. Frustration finally boils over when you confront Bucky about your lack of privacy, only to discover he’s just as eager for some alone time as you are - and willing to do anything to get it.

I’d Back Off If I Were You | @thighs-of-betrayal-blog

Hold the Door | @/thighs-of-betrayal-blog

You’ve never met your new neighbor, not until an incident happens involving the apartments elevator.

A Thousand Times Before | @marvelstoriesepic

 Bucky travels to an alternate universe for the sake of a mission. But he doesn’t expect to come face to face with a version of you that loves him, completely and openly. Back in his own world, he is left with a truth he can’t keep to himself anymore.

Avenger!Bucky x Avenger!Reader

I Thought We Were Already Dating | @danysdaughter

you thought you were spiraling over a situationship—meanwhile, bucky barnes had been acting like your very committed, very oblivious boyfriend the entire time. one public meltdown, a congressional office full of witnesses, and a very intense kiss later… you're officially his girl (and he never doubted it).

Mine | @cherrypickertheory

A new recruit joins the team, and gets a little too close to you for Bucky’s liking.

Light |  @sun-kissy

bucky meets you, his bright, new neighbour, and is instantly endeared

option two | @nev3rfound

after nightmares continue to haunt his nights, bucky knows there’s one person left who could potentially provide some form of comfort, but is she still willing to see him after all this time?

Serious Questions | @espinosaurusrexex

Bucky agrees to go on a date to make his colleagues shut up. Now, he just feels sorry for the poor woman that has to spend an entire evening with him. He really tries to make it work, though, because he actually enjoys her company.

Touch Starved |  @mrsbuckybarnes1917

You accidentally walk in on Bucky touching himself when he thinks he is alone. Turns out he is thinking about you.

Despite laying down early last night, you look as if you barely slept. Dark shadows under your eyes that have nothing to do with the dim light worry him. How can your brain recover if you can’t rest?

You lay against him for a while, catching your breath and trying to refocus. Although this has been your home for the last few years, your anchor is Bucky. The missing piece in the puzzle that brings it all together.

Breakfast is always the same, a quick bite of protein to try and help your brain recover. Bucky makes your coffee just the way you like it, hoping the caffeine will help the headache you are most likely experiencing.

Today you’re anxious. Maybe because today marks a month since you’d been found, since he got you home. Unsettled, you wander into the living room, picking at the skin around your thumb nail.

Cradling his coffee, he follows but keeps his distance. Leaning against the doorframe, you drift around under his watchful eye.

He gives you time, letting your eyes frantically weave around the room, trying to cling onto something that’s familiar. You stand in front of the window behind the sofa, rolling the fabric of the curtains between your fingers.

“Why can’t I remember the beach?” You asked, glancing over your shoulder at the framed picture beside the TV.

“It’ll come back,” Bucky continues reassure you.

“I know I love that picture,” you scrub at your face with your hands. “But it’s so fuzzy.”

“I know,” he says quietly. “Give it time.”

“How much time?!” Jumps from your mouth before you can stop it. Today you’re frustrated and there’s no helping it. “It’s been a month and I barely remember anything from before.”

He takes a step toward you, mostly on instinct. You try to hide your upset expression, though you’ve learned there is little you can hide from Bucky.

“I am in no hurry,” his arm slides around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest. You rest your head against his sternum, trying to take a handful of deep breaths but even that feels like a chore at the moment.

After helping him clean up breakfast, you disappear into the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. Just as he was sitting down on the couch, his phone lit up with a call from Steve.

He knew what it was about, he picked up quickly. “Hey Steve.”

“We got a lead,” the blonde cut to the chase.

Every free moment of the last month, the team has spent looking for the people that took you. There is no way they just wiped your memory and disappeared without any ulterior motives, Bucky wanted to hunt them down and make them all pay.

“When do we leave?” Bucky stood up, feeling the first signs of adrenaline pump through his heart.

“You sure you want to go, Buck?”

“What do you mean? Of course I’m going.”

“You’re going to leave her?”

He stopped, looking toward the bedroom where he could still hear the shower going. Now he was torn, today was already a hard day, he didn’t know how long he was going to be gone and you two had barely spent any time apart since you got back.

“How long?”

“Wheels up in thirty.”

He hung up the phone, hearing the shower squeak as it turned off, heading down the hall toward the bedroom. He found you wrapped in a towel, leaning against the counter, inspecting the burn scars that were slowly fading as time went on. Purposely making his footsteps heavier, you heard him approach.

“I think they’re going away,” you said, trying to get a good look at the scars in your peripheral.

Bucky nodded in agreement, swallowing hard as he tried make a very hard decision. When he didn’t respond to your comment, you looked at him in the mirror.

“What’s going on?” Turning around, holding the towel against your chest with both hands.

“Steve just called,” he shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

You nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“I’ve gotta go for a little bit,” he cowardly avoided your eye contact. He tried not to notice as your face paled.

“Go? Go where?” Your voice trembled. In the month you’ve been home, Bucky has rarely left your side. You haven’t known this life without him.

“A mission,” he didn’t want to give too many details, he couldn’t bear to watch you spiral anymore.

“Okay,” you murmured, moving past him into the bedroom. He stayed in the doorway as you dropped your towel, pulling on a clean pair of pajamas. He could tell you were anxious because your wet hair was seeping into the back of your shirt, but you weren’t moving it away from your neck.

“I’ll call Nat and see if-“

“No,” you interrupted, sliding your feet into slippers and sitting down on the end of the bed. “I’ll be okay.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t want you to be alone,” he sat down next to you. Despite his announcement, he was still unsure if he was going and had made no move to get ready

You picked at your nails, a tell if he’s ever saw one. “I’ll be fine, I promise.”

Bucky reached over and covered your hand with his. “I don’t need to go.”

“No, go, it will be good for me to be on my own for a little bit,” you crossed your arms over your chest, almost defensively.

He felt his shoulders slump, uncertain if he made the right decision or not and was confused by your reaction.

“I’ll be fine,” you tried to smile, reading his body language was a skill you were considered fluent in. “My plan was just to hang out and finish my book anyway. I’ve been meaning to cross this off the list.”

Bucky came across a list of your favorite books in a notebook last week, you have made it your mission to read them again as if it were the first time. It has been a joy to watch you re-read the very books that brought a certain sparkle to your eye.

He nodded, taking a minute to will his body to move. You angled your body away from him as you braided your hair over your shoulder.

His go-bag was always ready, packed with all his mission essentials and positioned specifically by the door. The duffle bag used to have a partner, but it’s been long retired to closet until circumstances change.

After zipping up his tac suit, he cast one last look of you, now under the covers and attempting to focus on the book; balanced precariously on your knees. He couldn’t see your eyes, downturned, hiding behind your long lashes.

“I’ll be back soon,” he said, although wondering if he would keep that promise.

“Be safe,” you murmured, not looking up at him as he stood in the doorway.

He shut the bedroom door behind him, taking a deep breath before continuing down the hallway. His heavy boots were loud against the hard wood floor, making it easy for you to track how far the distance has gotten between you two.

On his way down the elevator, he calls Nat to see if she could stop in later to check on you. She’s on her way to a separate mission with some agents in the opposite direction. The Celtic knot of worry tied around his heart is making it hard to focus.

On the jet, he finds Steve, Sam and a handful of agents who can barely look him in the eye.

Both of his best friends have a way of seeing right through him, Steve squeezes his shoulder and gives him a tight lipped smile.

“She’ll be okay.”

Bucky nodded wordlessly, sliding his duffle bag under the jump seat and working on setting up his communication network.

Sam plopped down in the seat beside him, nudging his arm and grinning around something he said earlier. Bucky responded with a half hearted smile and pressed the little comm device into his ear.

When the bird was in the air, Steve gave him the rundown of the information they received. After hacking deep into Hydra’s system, they narrowed it down to a team of men based on some grainy footage than an ATM picked up a few yards away from where you were taken.

Stark’s crazy AI technology had found them on a security camera at a nightclub in Hong Kong. They were most definitely on the run, staying undercover after committing atrocious crimes against the world’s pettiest team of soldiers.

On the Stark tablet, Bucky stared at the faces of your captors. These are the less-than-humans that watched as you screamed, feeling as if your brain was on fire, every muscle in your body seizing, the smell of burning hair and skin penetrating the air.

You never described these things to Bucky; he knew from an unfortunate shared experience.

The rage that filled Bucky was welcomed like an old friend. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time, at least not since he met you. The metal hand that rested on the Kevlar covered knee curled into a tight fist, the plates shifting silently under his sleeve.

Without your anchor, you drifted aimlessly around the apartment, unmoored. You started out in bed, but found the urge to move was crawling under your skin.

You floated from room to room, the feeling of anticipation filling you at the approach to the doorway, disappointment on the way out.

You realized that you were looking for something. Someone.

Back in the bedroom, you got back under the covers and tried to calm your trembling breath. Pulling the covers up to your chin, you press your lips to the soft fabric to try and regain your bearings.

Despite the few crumbling memories your minefield of a subconscious recovered, the current consciousness you have has never been away from Bucky. Maybe an hour here or there while he goes to the gym or a meeting, but never for an extended period of time.

Your hand stretches out and curls into his pillow case, bringing it close to your face reminds you of your love.

The anxiety comes like a sneaker wave, pulling you under quickly. Churning your stomach, tightening your chest, tears wetting Bucky’s soft pillowcase.

The loneliness seems especially prevalent now, as this is not something you have had to face on your own since you woke up that day in the Hydra facility. You tried earlier in the month, to hide your emotions from the one who knows them the best, but Bucky was like a stubborn piece of Velcro. He very rarely left your side.

There, that’s an idea. What would Bucky do for you?

Aside from almost overwhelming physical affection, there was usually a process. Sitting up, you looked around the messy bed and pulled a heavy blanket up from where it had fallen on the ground. Bucky most likely moved it there during the night when everything got so wrapped around your legs you felt like you were strapped to the chair again.

After locating the blanket, you wiped your cheeks and threw your legs over the side of the bed. Sliding your feet into slippers, you stood on weak legs and made yourself stand.

Somehow, your wobbly legs carried you into the kitchen. The electric kettle was put away neatly, where Bucky cleaned it up and put it away like he always does. As the kettle filled with water, resting in the bottom of the sink, you gripped the edge of the counter with white knuckles. Head ducked, willing your lungs to fill with air and not tremor.

The next task was finding a mug, it took you a minute to find the cabinet that housed your mismatched collection of ceramic mugs and the drawer with assorted amounts of tea. Bucky always had some sort of story to go along with the mug, how you’d bought it from a university student when walking through NYU, an Etsy seller that had a sweet deal, an antique store at the coast.

The one you selected this time was a misshapen thrown mug, a pulled handle and a honeycomb pattern stamped around the middle. You could still see the drips of the burnt orange glaze from where it was dipped and fired.

Your fingers traced the indentations of the pattern that had been pressed into the stoneware, a memory pulsing at your temples.

Bucky’s loving smile, a flea market, a young red-headed woman with frizzy orange hair that had wrapped this mug in brown butcher paper.

The kettle was done, you poured the water, made your tea, muttered the memory under your breath until it had a solid place in your mind.

Shuffling back to the bedroom, you settled under the heavy blanket and cup the warm ceramic in your hands and waited for the tea to cool just a bit.

You tried hard to think, what would Bucky do now?

Looking around, you found your book next. It was a dog-eared paper back, the cover fading around the corners and folded in half in a way that told you it got shoved into a bag far too many times. As you read, you found little handwritten annotations that usually made you smile.

Propping your heels up on the mattress, the paper back rested against the tops of your thighs.

You had no interest to read, every few words the aching feeling in your chest returned. Making your gaze drift and go blurry around the edges, your mind returning to the awful feeling in your stomach.

Despite the long flight to Hong Kong, Bucky was wired with anticipation. After setting up shop in their hotel room, he stood at attention by the door, ready to head out.

“Relax, Buck,” Steve said from his spot behind a computer. “We’re going to send the agents to confirm that they are there.”

“Steve-“

“Barnes, trust me on this,” his best friend said in his military voice. “Stay put.”

Instead, Bucky paced. He walked the length of the stupidly luxurious hotel room that Stark had rented.  The rational part of his mind understood why he couldn’t go in yet, but the primal hindbrain was calling for heinous crimes.

“Dude,” Sam complained, pouring a cup of coffee while they waited. “Give it a rest.”

Bucky shot him a look but didn’t respond. He was itching to do something with his hands and there was only one way to scratch it. His thoughts bounced back and forth between committing the ultimate sin and how he left you home alone. Now he’s half way around the world and there’s no going back.

Steve stood up suddenly a while later, looking at both of his best friends with a different look in his eye. “They’ve been located. We gotta move fast.”

Bucky nodded, a determined set to his jaw.

For hours, you lay on your side, weighed down by the heavy blanket, tears wetting the pillow beneath your cheek.

Although some memories are coming back, good ones; like the image of Sam tripping over the leg of the coffee table and popcorn flying out of the bowl in the air almost as if it was straight out of a cartoon. Bucky laughing so hard he can’t breathe, pressing his hand to the spot under his ribs and doubling over.

Bad ones are taking up a larger space in your mind, especially as night starts to approach. The awful constraining feeling of the leather restraints, your wrists tugging relentlessly as the electrodes approach. Your muscles, convulsing painfully, even after the electricity was powered down. The laughing, someone screaming and turns out it was you.

You wonder what you did to deserve it.

Bucky tells you that they took you and left him. You have fuzzy memories of being bound and gagged, laying in darkness, your head aching.

You are aware of who you used to work for, the level of importance your job title used to hold. You were on a mission and they took you. But why you?

That question will forever haunt you. And Bucky. You know he wishes they took him instead, but you wonder how you would have done without him?

Sleep finds you and drags you under. Your head sinks into the pillow, hand outstretched toward the other side of the bed. The other side of the world.

Your screams echoed across the concrete warehouse. They remove the electrodes, your chest is heaving, sweat beading across your forehead.

Eyes blurry, your blink until the florescent lights aren’t in double vision. You realize the whimpering is coming from your own mouth.

“Not so tough now?” A dark voice comes from behind you.

“F…fuck you,” your voice stammers, but the anger you feel remains steady.

“Ah,” it chuckles, pacing behind you, boots clicking on the solid floor. “Still defiant. Disobedient girl.”

The voice now stands in front of you, you spit at his feet. All you could do with the restraints still keeping you stationary.

“Let me ask you this, tough girl,” he crossed his arms, a hint of a smile stretching his ugly face. “What is your name?”

You paused. “What?”

“What is your name?”

The panic got you like a riptide, sweeping your feet from underneath you and pulling you out into the sea. You searched your mind, realizing that you did not know any life outside of the awful concrete walls.

“That’s what I thought,” the voice murmured with a sinister smile. He turned on his heel and headed for the exit. “Keep her here, we’ll need to wipe her again soon.”

You woke with a strangled gasp, the panic flooding your system had you sitting straight up in bed. Your heart was beating painfully up your neck, making it hard you breathe.

The room was dark, the covers were tangled around your legs, your skin was damp with sweat as you pressed your hand to your throat.

Gasping for a breath, you try and orient yourself. Where are you? What time is it? Are you still in the awful concrete and cinderblock facility?

Throwing the covers from your legs, the air in the bedroom turns the sweat cold and you shiver.

Looking at the other side of the bed and finding it empty does nothing to help. There should be someone there. Who should be there?

You blink and try to take a deep breath. Bucky. Bucky should be there.

Twisting around to look at the nightstand, it’s still the waking hours of the morning. The sun hasn’t even thought to rise yet and the glowing letters of the alarm clock tell you she won’t for a few more hours.

The brightness of your phone hurts your eyes, keeping one squinted open, the other closed against the visual assault. You see Bucky has not texted you that he is on his way home yet.

Pressing a hand to your aching head, you toss the phone aside and ease your head back onto the pillow. You want him here. You need him here.

The tears return but you stay silent. Staring up at the ceiling, tears sliding over your cheeks, down your neck and under the collar of your shirt.

You make no move to wipe them away.

Bucky seems to come too with Steve’s hands on both of his shoulders, shoving him away, his back slamming into the wall of the shady nightclub.

He blinks, feeling a smear of warmth on his face. Wiping it with his hand, he see’s red. Is it his blood?

No, it’s theirs.

Four men, laying motionless in the alleyway. A variety of injuries, broken noses, fingers, split lips, facial abrasions and most are covered in so much blood it’s hard to tell.

“You stay down,” Steve hisses with a finger in his face.

He remembers now. The white, hot anger he felt when he saw the quartet of men in the nightclub. They were laughing, drinking, showing each other videos on their phone. He kept his cool until he saw what was on their phones.

Videos and pictures of you. Crying, screaming out in pain as your soul was stripped away from you. And they were laughing at your despair as if you weren’t even human. He knows they don’t think of you that way, hell; they don’t even think of him that way.

Bucky left the group and found them in the alley way. By the time Steve realized that he was gone it had already happened.

Looking down, the black metal was splattered with the crimson gore. His right hand was starting to sting, he found split knuckles that he didn’t want to deal with at the moment.

It was starting to come back to him. How he beat each men into the bricks of the alleyway, the metal hand making a sickening crunch each time it connected with flesh. He saw red.

When he hurt people as the Winter Soldier, it was done without emotion, without remorse and without thought. He was numb to it.

This time, he was blind with rage. He could hear your screams and your pleas with each man he beat into the ground. The anger that shook his hands wasn’t something he felt in a long time.

Sam’s face bobbed into his eye sight, but Bucky had that awful far away look in his eye. The usually unserious man looked back at the agents who were taking the villains into custody and then back at his best friend.

“How does that feel?”

“How does what feel?” Bucky responded, voice low. His eyes were trained on Steve, who was talking into his ear piece, running a hand through his usually tidy hair.

Sam prodded him in the ribs, which got him to wince and stifle a groan. He must have taken some hits and not realized it. His body had started to ache.

“Let’s go home,” Sam clasped his shoulder. Bucky pretended not to notice the concerned look in his friend’s wise eyes.

The plane ride home was silent. The four injured men were held in a separate area where Bucky was not allowed to see them. He sat on the bench seat between Steve and Sam. He knew that they were there to stop him if he decided to lose control again.

He spent most of the flight with his elbows on his knees, bracing his head in his hands. He wondered how he was going to explain this to you. Would this change how you looked at him?

You didn’t know this side of Bucky. You hadn’t seen the flat look in his eyes, how it makes his best friend question his ability to be in the field.

All you know is the one who found you in the Hydra facility. Who only showed you kindness. Who soothed your headaches with a gentle hand, carried you to bed when you fell asleep reading on the couch, helped you start a journal to keep track of your memories when you asked.

He couldn’t even tell you where he was going because he knew that this is how it would end.

He couldn’t wait to see you, so why did he feel dread most prominently in his aching body?

When the front door opened, you were standing in front of the microwave, watching your dinner spin in an agonizingly slow circle. You peaked around the corner to find Bucky toeing off his boots by the overflowing shoe rack.

“Bucky?” Your voice was small.

He kept his head down, duffle bag slung over his shoulder. “Hi Honey.”

You moved closer to him, sensing his unease. Your slippers shuffled on the hard wood floor, twisting your hands together in front of your sternum.

“How was the mission?” You asked, hoovering a few feet away from him.

He swallowed hard, turning to look at you. “It was alright.”

You sucked in a quick breath at the sight of his face. A ring of purple around his eye from where he must have caught someone’s fist, a split lip that was in the processing of healing, blood splattered across his neck and jaw.

“Bucky, w-what happened?” You closed the distance between you two, eyes now checking his entire body for wounds.

“I’m fine, Doll,” he sighed, reaching out to squeeze your shoulder. “Promise.”

“Come here, let me look at you,” you caught his hand, leading him out of the dimly lit foyer.

He set his bag down outside the kitchen, taking a seat at the table you share your meals at. The microwave beeped, but you ignored it, turning on the light that hung above the table.

The overhead light dramatized his bruises, especially the hit he took on his cheek. Your expression was focused, but concerned, you brushed your soft palm over his throbbing cheek bone.

“What happened on the mission?” You asked, stepping away to wet a hand towel at the sink.

Bucky sighed, leaning back in his chair. He didn’t want to lie to you, you didn’t deserve that. You deserved to know the truth.

“It was the people that hurt you.”

Your actions stilled, back stiffening up from where you were wringing out the towel under the stream of warm water. You didn’t turn around.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to worry.”

You shook your head, turning around with the towel in your clenched hands. “Well I’m worried now.”

His eyes closed as you brushed the towel over his stubbly cheek. The blood had been dried for a while now, you wrinkled your nose as you found more in his ear.

“I… I just couldn’t let them get away with it,” he whispered. You moved to stand between his knees, his hands pressed against your hips to ground himself.

“I’m alive,” you whispered, moving the towel down his neck. He swallowed hard.

“And I’m grateful for that,” his eyes opened. “But they tortured you and I can’t let them get away with that.”

Your hand was cupping his cheek, making it hard to focus on answering your question. Your thumb brushed gently over the bruised skin under his beautiful eye.

“Y/N, they had… they had videos,” his voice cracked. “And pictures. And they were laughing, showing each other.”

His hands tightened on your waist, you looked into his eyes and saw how distant they were becoming. The same rage he felt in the dark nightclub was thrumming through his veins.

You wiped under his chin, across his jaw and over his adam’s apple. You didn’t meet his eye.

“And they hurt you,” his voice cracked. “They didn’t hurt me, they hurt you. They did this to you. I-I just saw red. The next thing I knew Steve was shoving me off ‘em and they were on the ground not moving.”

You reached for his metal hand, swiping the damp cloth over his knuckles. He pretended not to see how discolored the towel was turning.

“You mean so much to me, Honey,” his chin wobbled. “I wish I could have saved you from this.”

“I’m alive,” you repeated, focusing cleaning the grime out of the plates of his arm. “I’ll be okay.”

His flesh hand dug into your hip, but you didn’t mind. His mind was buzzing and you knew he needed to talk. You reached up and smoothed over his hair, cupping his cheek.

“They wouldn’t have taken you if it wasn’t for me,” his voice was cautious, brittle, one step away from cracking. “I just keep fighting back this guilt that continues to remind me that you can be taken from me at any moment. This time it was because of me. And-and I can’t lose you.”

You move to his flesh hand, carefully cleaning up his split and bruising knuckles. His gaze is fixed on your face now.

“You mean everything to mean, Sweetheart,” his voice was so quiet, you had to focus to hear him. “You’ve kept me sane from the moment I met you. You didn’t treat me any differently because I was broken. You didn’t expect me to be anyone but myself.”

Your memories of when you first met Bucky are still a little fuzzy, but you have traces of warm feelings, laughing, the crinkles around his eyes when he smiled.

“And when I saw those guys just laughing at your pain… I-I-I fucking lost it. How could they do that to somehow who saved my life? Who made me whole again?”

You stop your motions, looking down into his tearful expression. “Bucky, you were always whole. I just reminded you of that.”

He nodded, swallowing hard.

“And I’m not going anywhere,” you brushed over the tender swelling around his mouth. “I’ll always be here for you to come home to.”

He nodded, swallowing hard. You squeezed his chin, taking a step back out of his space.

“C’mon, you need a shower,” you managed to smile.

He stood up and pulled on your hand as you turned away. You looked back at him, tilting your head.

Leaning down, he put his lips on yours. Since he found you, kisses were often pressed to your forehead, your cheek as you slept, the top of your shoulder as you made your tea.

You gasped softly into his mouth, pressing your hips against his. His warm hand pressed against the nape of your neck, urging you closer.

He loved the feeling of your pliant body pressed against his. How you melted into his body just like you used to, hands sliding over his back to press against his shoulder blades.

Pulling away, he pressed his forehead against yours. Both seemed to have a little bit more light back in their eyes. You bit your lip and smiled up at him. He mirrored your smile, which made you gasp.

“The beach!” Your eyes shone, despite the headache you got when memories reached the surface. “The beach… we stayed in this little cabin in April and it rained the whole time except for one day…”

Tears welled in his eyes again, but not from sadness.

“The last day, we all went down to the water, Sam threw Nat in and she was freezing,” your eyes were unfocused, moving quickly back and forth as you watched it play out in your mind. “He built her a fire to warm her up and we made s’mores.”

He nodded, hands cupping your shoulders.

“And I burned my marshmallow, which made you laugh because you told me the best way to cook it but I ignored you… The sunset was so beautiful, Bucky.”

“It was, Doll,” he nodded with a tender smile.

You were back, smiling up at him in a way that made him forget how awful the last couple days turned out. You pulled on his hand again, sliding your slippers down the hallway.

“You still need to shower before I’ll kiss you again.”

He laughed again, wrapping his arms around you and swinging you up into the air. You squealed, clutching his shoulders to keep your balance. For the first time in a long time, the apartment heard laughter and love.