holy heck

Akaashi hadn’t wanted to come to this dumb party, but as a stupid senior in high school, he’d promised to see Bokuto once a week minimum and he was especially busy this week and it just happened to be a Saturday and he just happened to have no valid excuse for his friend. So, when Bokuto called him saying he was out the front of his college’s dorm, Akaashi threw on the first pair of presentable pants and matching top, raked his hair back and reminded himself he didn’t actually care what Bokuto’s friends thought of him and left.

As usual, Bokuto was over the moon to see him, and if Akaashi was being honest with himself he had missed him more than usual too. So, when he clung to Akaashi a little tighter and for a while longer, it was enough to remind him why he’d made that promise all those years ago.

By the time they made it back to Bokuto’s campus the party was in full swing, drunken yelling and loud EDM music blared through the building and out onto the street. But neither of them wasted time soaking in the scene, Bokuto grabbing Akaashi by the shoulder and navigating him through the house and out the back where his friends sat.

As usual, the boys dominated in beer pong for a couple of rounds before they got kicked off for still being sober. so Bokuto’s friends turned to another method, a friendly game of Russian roulette and with some egging on they were at opposite ends of the table with a shot glass covered lazy Suzan placed between them.

“rules are simple, you spin the lazy Suzan and whichever glass lands closest to you, you have to drink.” Bokuto explained like they haven’t played the game hundreds of times. After fifteen minutes the two of them were a sputtering mess as Akaashi took the final shot, straight vodka.

Laughter erupted in the backroom and Akaashi took a bow, settling on the couch between Bokuto and an even bigger guy he’d seen on Bokuto's team, he was introduced as Daniel but as soon as they were acquainted he stood and left them as the others migrated inside for the keg chugging contest. Neither Bokuto nor Akaashi moved as Akaashi explained his newest writing gig and Bokuto rested his head on his leg as he listened intently.

As the conversation changed from work to school, to Bokuto springing the fact the Akaashi would be his plus-one for the Olympics over in Rio. Akaashi was shocked but he wasn’t surprised, they’d always talked about going together when they were younger, but as Akaashi found his love for writing and comics, he found the idea of watching him win from the sidelines much more appealing. While a small part of Bokuto mourned the thought of them playing together once again, he was still happy for Akaashi and his choices and over the moon for his success.

As Akaashi went to talk about all the fun things they could do in Rio, Daniel came back with a smaller girl by his side and interrupted.

“Ak- er, Bokuto your friend’s been asked for inside.” He says and he throws Akaashi a forgiving look for forgetting his name. Bokuto sat up and quirked a brow towards him.

“Tell them he’s with me and he doesn’t smoke that shit, and he definitely won’t take whatever they’ve got.” He laughs and Daniel shrugs his shoulders.

“Nah man, it’s a girl, I think she’s in a class with Kane.” He offers and before he knows what’s going on Akaashi’s being pulled to his feet and whisked off inside before he leaves Bokuto with a; “if I’m not back in ten I’m probably dead and you’ll need to come to find me.” He jokes and Bokuto waves him off, averting his glance to another one of his classmates.

“What does this girl want?” he asks and Daniel shrugs.

“No idea, she’s waiting for you in the bathroom. The second door on the right.” He explains and Akaashi is filled with dread, nothing good ever happens in bathrooms at party’s, he’s all too aware of that. But still, something in him wills itself up the stairs and into the bathroom. But before he closes the door he’s met with an eerily familiar face.

“Akaashi Keiji.”

“William Sato?” he asks and is met with an icy glare as the other man leans past him and shuts the door, “don’t tell me you’re the ‘girl’ who wanted to see me!” Akaashi laughs.

William wasn’t as entertained by his question as he backed Akaashi into the corner of the room, “when I saw you two chatting away like old friends I was reminded of high school, remember back then? Such good times.”

“What’s this about, William, I’m here for Bokuto not for your petty bullshit.” He explains but William is unmoving and reasonably larger than Akaashi so he had no hope of overpowering him, “we’re all adults, give it a rest.”

“No, I’m not giving anything a rest till I’ve had my way.”

“Oh yeah, and what do you want?” he asked unmoved by his attempt at being sinister.

“I wanna know, what do you think Bokuto would do if I took a couple of swings at his beloved vice-captain?” William asked as he lunged at Akaashi, stopping meet centimetres from his face, “leave some nice little bruises on his little bitch.” He spat and Akaashi decided he’d had enough and kneed him in the groin and shoved him back into the shower door.

“Who’s to say he’d care at all, huh?” Akaashi said as he shook him and pinned him still, “just because he didn’t pick you, doesn’t mean you need to act like this, I’m no one’s little bitch you salty fuck.” Akaashi’s words stabbed into William’s conscience and he snapped, tripping Akaashi as he shoved him backwards, looming over him as he thudded to the ground.

“If you’re so against my abuse, how about I deal directly with Bokuto huh, might take out a tendon or something, sure he’d understand my pain then, crap he could kiss the Olympics goodbye for sure!” William said inertly as he pulls out a pocket knife from his sleeve and flicks it open, “or you could do him a solid and take it like a man.” He sneers and Akaashi tries to get to his feet, but William kicks him back and he slams his head on the ceramic towel rail, then again and William grabs a fistful of hair and throws him back, now his shoulder slams into the towel rail and he hears it smash. Akaashi’s eyes were on William but he didn’t need to see the rail to know it was broken.

“Your psychotic!” Akaashi growls and William laughs kneeling to give Akaashi nowhere to run to, “what do you hope to achieve by these senseless acts of violence?” He asked as his hands searched for a shard of the towel rail when his hands met the cold sharp ceramic he felt for the biggest piece and took it in his hand.

William stops laughing and punches Akaashi straight in the nose, “senseless, am I joke to you?” He asks as he lifts another fist, landing another hard punch into his left eye.

Akaashi smelt pepper and fought the urge to cup a hand under his now dripping nose, “yes, you are a joke to me, how am I supposed to take you seriously.” He replied and William tried another punch but Akaashi clamped down and his hand slammed into the tile behind him. but before William could recoil, Akaashi had the shard of the ceramic towel rail neatly angled against his chin, “he picked me for a reason, and it isn’t that I’m hot and you’re not, it’s because you suck at volleyball and show no sign of minimising your ginormous ego enough to listen to anyone’s advice.” Akaashi spoke low as he grabbed the hand he wielded the knife with and pried open his hand, taking it from his grasp and shoving him away.

Like clockwork, the door swung open and Bokuto entered the scene, looking wide-eyed and confused as he tried to process what he was seeing, but before he could speak Akaashi stood, “work on your form and you might just make next season’s line up.” Akaashi said as he walked over to Bokuto who’d now noticed the blood still streaming from Akaashi’s nose and the switchblade he definitely didn’t own.

“It’s been twelve minutes and well-”

Akaashi's hand was on his right peck and Bokuto was being shoved back and pulled down the hall.

“Akaashi?” he asked as he trudged after his bleeding friend. But he didn’t stop, he didn’t answer, he just kept walking, so Bokuto waited until they were close to his room before he sped up and stopped Infront of him, pulling him back into his empty dorm room.

“Keiji, what’s going on?” He asked as he trapped him between the door, “talk to me, please?”

“Why did you pick me?” His voice was rushed and his mind was obviously somewhere else, his eyes stung with tears but Akaashi still managed to wear a demanding look, but he knew he’d never manage to fool Bokuto.

“What?”

“All those years ago, why’d you fucking pick me!” Akaashi broke as his shoulder slumped and he landed an unmotivated punch into Bokuto’s chest. Bokuto paused as he couldn’t answer, his mind was too concentrated on the darkening purple that had now settled under his left eye and Akaashi’s shaking hands. Bokuto laughed humourlessly as he backed away and sat Akaashi on his bed, leaving him to go to the freezer for frozen peas. Giving himself enough time to think of the reason. When he returned Akaashi was laying down and his eyes were closed and brow furrowed as he grumbled something Bokuto couldn't quite hear.

“I don’t know why I just.” He paused as he helped Akaashi upright and held the bag of peas against his eye, he swatted his hand away and held it himself. “This is going to sound cheesy but I remember seeing you and your mother sitting on our bench at that game you guys attended in high school, you looked so bored and uninterested, but after I hit that first jump float I looked back over to you again without even thinking and well, I haven’t stopped looking since.” Bokuto smiled down at his hands.

“That’s so dumb.” Akaashi laughed and Bokuto would’ve been taken aside by his laughter after being so honest, but Akaashi was laughing while he held a bloody tissue to his nose, so he wasn’t too concerned.

“Well after you decided you wanted to play for us, I decided that I wanted you to play for me, to play beside me, as an equal.” He explained as Akaashi put the cold bag of peas down and cupped his hand under Bokuto’s chin. “Is that why he hit you?” He asked as he lifted his head to meet Akaashi’s deep expression.

“As an equal, I was never equal, how could I ever be equal to you?” Akaashi laughed as he searched Bokuto’s face for something he wasn’t sure of, he just couldn’t look away. “Koutarou, I always looked up to you, I think after that game I put you on this pedestal and haven’t taken you off since, you know it still shocks me that you’re going to the Olympics next fall and you’re sitting here with me, so close I could-” Akaashi cut himself off as he pulled his hand away.

“Could what?”

“I remember when you walked me home the first time; you stood by the gate and waited until I was inside safe, I never understood why you waited so long, why’d you pick me?” he asked again and Bokuto’s eyes widened and he placed a hand on Akaashi’s knee and he leant closer, understanding that he wasn’t asking about volleyball anymore.

“I chose you because I didn’t have any other choice!”

“But you did, you could’ve picked anyone, the entire school threw themselves at your feet, but you picked me, why’d you write them off but not me?” Tears began to well in Akaashi’s eyes as he begged to spit out the right words, “why didn’t they make the cut.”

“They’re not you, I don’t want it if it’s not you.” He replied and Akaashi wouldn’t have been any wiser if his lungs had shrivelled up and died because at this moment he’d forgot how to breathe, “I wish you could see what I see, Keiji.” Bokuto’s words were low and heavy as Akaashi breathed out harshly.

“No.” he managed as he stood abruptly as he grabbed his shaking hands in one another, “don’t say things you don’t mean.” He sounded offended as he stood motionless with his head pointed down.

Bokuto stood in front of him as he struggled to find the right words, “I don’t know when I became this person you’ve idolised but I’ve always been just here with you.” He said as he placed a hand on Akaashi’s shoulder, “I chose you because no one else would be good enough.”

“I’m not good enough, that’s the problem.” He replied angrily as he shrugged Bokuto off him and glared at him. Bokuto was taken back by the sadness in his eyes, he’d always hated seeing Akaashi sad but this was something else.

“You are more than enough!”

“Stop lying to yourself, I could never be enough, I’d only bring you down with me.” He tried to pass Bokuto as everything got all too much for him, but Bokuto stepped across and Akaashi slammed into him. Akaashi stepped back and laughed, “do you remember that girl from yearbook club, she did the spread for your senior year, well I thought you two hit it off really well, in fact, Kuroo and I placed bets on whether or not you guys would get together, well she was really really nice, where’d she go wrong?”

“Because she wasn’t you, Akaashi. I don’t know how many times I can say this without getting through to you but; fuck the Olympics, when you stood by my side I didn’t want anything else, I just wanted to be with you, I don’t care what happens after that game, as long as your still by my side I know everything will be fine.” He said as Bokuto felt his cheeks reddening with anger.

“For fuck sake, why?” Akaashi yelled back and something in Bokuto snapped, he took four steps forward, breathed deeply and for the first time in four years he gave into his feelings as he pressed his lips to Akaashi’s and kissed him with every ounce of his being.

“Because I love you, and I have loved you ever since high school and I’ll probably love you until the day I die.” He said as he broke the kiss and looked to Akaashi in fear. “I chose you because even if I wanted to I don’t think I could pick anyone else.”

Akaashi’s eyes were set on Bokuto's yellow eyes, he’d seen them in many different lights but with the dim lights of his room, they looked so dark.

“You love me?”

“Yes Akaashi!” he laughed.

“How could you ever love me.” He muttered as the tears that built in his eyes finally fell, and before he knew it he was sobbing uncontrollably as he felt his knees give in and fall to the floor and Bokuto swallowed him in a hug. Akaashi wished he was a stronger man, strong enough to leave and save Bokuto the hassle of loving him, but as his cold hands brushed his warm forehead holding him against his chest, holding him so tightly. Akaashi wondered if Bokuto could actually love someone like him, someone so much lower than himself.