i am scared of people
yet when i travel i am scared i will be alone
that there won't be anybody who drops off at the same stop
that there will be just me who steps into the train
hello vonnie

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i am scared of people
yet when i travel i am scared i will be alone
that there won't be anybody who drops off at the same stop
that there will be just me who steps into the train

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tiny moments.
We were chatting
In the bathroom
Looking into the bathtub
and in one moment
we watched a single hair
moving with the soft flow of water
and disappearing into the sinkhole
like a snake.
Non-vegans calling vegans narrow-minded because we dare to consider someone else’s well-being and rights apart from our own, and they refuse to listen to us when we explain our sides of the debate. And yet, still;
They think our problem with wool is the action of shearing it off, and not the selective breeding, harmful husbandry practices, and pre-mediated slaughter that encompasses exploiting them for a product.
They think our problem with milk is that it hurts the dairy cows to harvest it, and not the forced breeding for genetic traits that contradict the animals best well-being, the stressful separation and denial of a familial bond between dam and calf, the slaughter after just a few years of harvesting, and ultimately the overall exploitation of someone’s body and life for a product.
They think our problem with eggs is baseless, but they ignore that egg-laying hens are typically slaughtered at less than 2 years of age because the amount of eggs we have genetically selected them to produce is unsustainable for their body and health no matter if they are caged or free-range.
They think that just because an animal is of a difference species, they don’t feel pain or emotion and it is within their rights to use them and harm them. They refuse to consider the consequences for their own actions and refuse to acknowledge that their basic rights don’t overrule someone else’s if they have no true need for it.
How are vegans still considered the irrational ones? When the continuation of such high levels of abuse for no other reason than convenience and preference is the opposing option?
I'll bury you in between the lines.
I want to bury you, so I can be freed from you.
I'll bury this in between the words.
I want to bury this, so I will never forget.
A LITTLE REMINDERS FOR MYSELF
You don't have to master the thing you're about to do before you start to do it. Learn along the way, collect knowledge from own experiences.
Work with what you have. Don't look up to the things that are hard to get. Start with the stuff you already have. Build something.
I love this... what I have. I don't need the perfect order, quality or high quantity. I just need the enthusiasm to keep on going.

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the words are slipping through my fingers they're falling on the blank paper white on black and the joy,
oh, the joy it brings me!
Autumn shows us that far from shunning change natures achieves this transition effortlessly. Autumn shows us how to embrace change in glorious splendor. It reminds us to accept and flow with the change. Just like the falling leaves you have to let go in order to move forward, grow and heal.
I didn't want to suffer, but here I go again. I didn't want to take medication, but here I go again. I didn't want to be unstable, but here I go again. I didn't want to experience the bottom, but here I go again.
The thoughts, the intrusive thoughts, the negative thoughts, the thoughts I don't want to be in my head are there again. An uneasy mind, the racing heart, the feelings of loneliness are by my side again.
One thing above it all: I've fight it off thousand times before, I will fight it off again. In this isolation I will rebuild my life, in this pit of darkness I will find my light. I just need some time.
ok
he said "ok"
he had me waiting, he had me hoping he promised and he forgot some days he lied to me some days he put me aside some days he ignored me on purpose he was fed up and he denied it
but i felt it i felt his absence, i feld his coldness i felt his ignorance, i felt his anger
but i stayed i was worried and i was silent i was sad and i have masked it 'cause when i've outspoken he denied it so what's the point?
little by little one day i had enough
i left him waiting, i left him hoping i didn't walk the extra mile i didn't make the sacrifice i went to sleep when i was tired i kept busy with my day
and he pointed it out "it happens" i replied
he said "ok" just like that two letters and one word: that's how much he cares about me.
Best language learning tips & masterlists from other bloggers I’ve come across
(these posts are not my own!)
THE HOLY GRAIL of language learning (-> seriously tho, this is the BEST thing I’ve ever come across)
Tips:
Some language learning exercises and tips
20 Favorite Language Learning Tips
what should you be reading to maximize your language learning?
tips for learning a language (things i wish i knew before i started)
language learning and langblr tips
Tips on how to read in your target language for longer periods of time
Tips and inspiration from Fluent in 3 months by Benny Lewis
Tips for learning a sign language
Tips for relearning your second first language
How to:
how to self teach a new language
learning a language: how to
learning languages and how to make it fun
how to study languages
how to practice speaking in a foreign language
how to learn a language when you don’t know where to start
how to make a schedule for language learning
How to keep track of learning more than one language at the same time
Masterposts:
Language Study Master Post
Swedish Resources Masterpost
French Resouces Masterpost
Italian Resources Masterpost
Resource List for Learning German
Challenges:
Language-Sanctuary Langblr Challenge
language learning checkerboard challenge
Word lists:
2+ months of language learning prompts
list of words you need to know in your target language, in 3 levels
Other stuff:
bullet journal dedicated to language learning
over 400 language related youtube channels in 50+ languages
TED talks about language (learning)
Learning the Alien Languages of Star Trek
.
Feel free to reblog and add your own lists / masterlists!

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Yesterday I’ve ended up a relationship that never existed. I didn’t say I’m breaking up with him because he never knew about that never-existing relationship. I’ve ended it up for myself. I’ve realized there is no more hope to be held. I felt free suddenly. Like a heavy grey veil was lifted up from me. The world became brighter and I wanted to run far away. I won’t lie, I was angry and I wanted to cry. But then I realized I didn’t lose anything - he did.
Not everyone deserves your suffering...
I want to cry... a lot. I feel the emotional pain forming into the physical pain and it hurts... a lot.
And I hate myself for this. And I hate you for making me feel like this. Because I shed those tears for my father when he died. I felt the physical pain of grief when I was exploring the emptiness that left where he should have been. He deserved my tears, he deserved it all.
You don’t deserve a single second of my suffering. You’re alive. You just gave me hope and then walked over my heart and disappeared in silence. Screw you. You don’t deserve my pain. Why do I feel like this?
I feel so fucking sad
and I don’t know what to do about it.
Another fucking wreckage feeling.
I hate myself for not losing hope for you and I.
my mind is tricking me
I met you. I felt like all the stars are suddenly aligned, like everything in the universe falls into its place, like the clouds in my mind are disappearing.
But on the next day, there was a gloomy parade of thoughts and feelings marching in my head. Heavy rain was falling down on me. I felt sinking deeper into the bottomless hole again.
On the very next day my mind started to play tricks with me. I felt like nothing has ever happened. It felt so strange and unlikely. I forgot what your face looks like. I forgot what your voice sounds like.
I feel like a burden now. I feel like everything is hopeless, like there is no future. I can’t find a way how to communicate with you. Every word feels so forced and every answer seems to be said out of tolerance and nothing more.
Why did I fall into this swirl of random feelings? There is no reason for me to feel like this. How do I get out of my head?
It’s. Making. Me. Crazy.

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a mind like mine
a decision like mine
ndashes here and there
i’ve been feeling something strange lately.
i crave for distances, i dream of leaving for a one-day-trip to a vienna, where i used to spend some of my days as a teen. i dream of leaving to uk to any seashore city, whether for a week-long vacation or two-years living.
i crave for closeness of an alike mind. i dream of having some new friends because suddenly i have nothing to talk about with my long-time besties. they seems so unknown to me, like we had nothing in common.
but i also crave for loneliness. i’d like to wake up in the morning, make a coffee and spend the day doing things that makes me happy without talking to anyone. no explanations, no answers to their questions. all day for myself. no altering due to their plans and mood and activities.
but i also feel so fucking tired. i want to try new recipes, find a job, do little housework that once made ma happy, start exercising again, read full articles and whole books again instead of saving them for later, i just want to be productive again, i want to do something about the feelings i feel.. but i feel so exhausted and i am just wasting my days.
i don’t know what makes me feel the things i feel or why i need so much rest right now, but i guess i have to face it all in order to get rid of it. that’s a lie i am telling myselg because i have no other option - i am too tired to do something about it.