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Sometimes I want to be desirable to everyone but then I remember desire and being desired and to desire only leads to betraying yourself and also its pointless

Ragebaiting myself with youtube drama slop and instagram comment sections for no discernible reason

The evolution of language in gen Z (and I suppose Alpha but I dont keep tabs on children) has always interested me because it is a mix of aave (but more specifically pulled from gay and trans communities/ballroom) and 4chan speak and those two things greatly contradict one another. So you have a bunch of non black teens calling each other goyim not knowing what that means and also saying that they have clocked someone's tea also not knowing what that means. I dont have any real astute observations or reflections on this its just strange. Regarding the aave part its classic antiblackness and also parts of afropessimism but the 4chan part? No clue. Rising conservatism or anemoia. Seriously no clue. Edgelord larping?

Sorry if you ever wanted to say something to me and I didnt respond I never look at my notifications but I turned on that ask thing if even one person had something they needed to say to me so have at it. L❤️VE

I think a wonderful facet of human existence is curiosity and being able to be curious and to know others. And kindness is lovely.

The average tumblr user is horribly condescending and holier than thou for some reason

Id like to be more open about my thoughts but Ive crossed a boundary (posting my face on this blog) meaning I can not say anything particularly scathing or mildly controversial. Even though my concerns are perhaps self involved and born from paranoia there will always be someone who takes your opinion as a blade to the chest and have to avenge themselves in some way. So the sparse reflective and personal Ive shared will become ammo in the gun to disparage me. Not just me, truthfully everyone. The internet loves and loathes vulnerability. You can have the most banal take and someone will comb through your post history to find out your mother died and comment they hope you are buried with along side her because anonymity kind of gives a prolonged road rage effect along with parasociality if you know what im saying. This is not a place to be safe and everyone knows this but intrinsically we all want community in one way another. Is what it is.