Hi!

Just to be careful, you looked around for wandering cars or people - for stragglers coming home late from the bar, or snoopy neighbors taking out the trash. It would quickly become a habit - to keep this a secret, it was necessary. You could never be too careful after all. To your relief, the street was empty except for him. It was safe. 

He opened the passenger door for you, a quiet laugh slipping out when you nearly tripped on the curb in your rush. Maybe it was the sudden cold clouding your senses, or the excitement of seeing him at this unexpected hour. It was just his car, but your stomach jumped and dropped like you were on a rollercoaster. 

It felt forbidden. It thrilled you. 

"Hey." Your voice was quiet as a whisper, as if you were still hiding, while you settled into your seat. You were thankful he'd left the heat on, and you glanced around the unfamiliar car. "This isn't your car."

He got in, a surprised look on his face as if he didn't expect you to catch onto that so quickly, "It's not."

"Please don't tell me you stole it."

"If I did, would you get out right now and go back to bed?" He asked, an eyebrow raised. A smug look was painted on his face, like he knew that you wouldn't care. He was teasing you, at this ungodly hour. Confidence looked good on him. You shrugged, nonchalant as you leaned back into your seat, eyes intense on his, "No, I would totally become your accomplice. I'd just… like a heads up."

Hyunjin laughed, eyes crinkling, "Knew I could trust you." He turned the knob on the radio, turning it down, "I rented it, actually. Under an alias. Didn't wanna risk showing up in my own car."

Right… Of course there were people out there who would recognize his fucking car, of all things. Nothing about his life was private. Which is probably why you were meeting him in the dead of night when most of the city was asleep. Your eyebrows shot up, "They let you rent a car under a fake name?"

"Yup. Done it before. Usually our managers figure that out for us to keep our schedules private. I found loopholes," he stated. So, he was really breaking the law to be here. It was kind of insane and romantic. You wondered if his managers knew that this is what he was doing with the liberty they gave him. Taking you on a joyride at 3 a.m., when the city was under a cover of cloud and snow. He reversed out of your street, hand behind your headrest, glancing at you, "Did I wake you?"

This felt dramatic. It felt like you were sneaking away to meet your high school boyfriend that your parents would never approve of. You'd never had that experience, so maybe this was making up for it. "No…I was just on my phone, watching videos. I went down a rabbit hole. You know how that is.” You said. He smiled, "What kind of videos?"

"Just fun stuff to do in the city." You admitted, running a finger over your chin, "I think I need to go out more, I've been sulking in my apartment for too long. Ugh, I need some inspiration. Where does one go to be inspired in this city?"

"I mean, your apartment's great.” He said. You shook your head, laughing, "It's really not….I want to do something crazy. Something I've never done in Daejon. Anything that kickstarts this creative block."

"Well, they make drugs for that."

You squint at him, "Funny. I saw a record store in Hongdae. I want to go there."

"Do you own a record player?” Hyunjin glanced your way. You stretched in the passenger seat, extending your arms in front of you, "No but hey, I could. I could be that girl."

He laughed, "Yeah. You can totally be that girl. You're already an artist living in Seoul, think you're halfway there."

"You're so right.” You giggled. He stopped at the light, glancing over at you, "I forgot something."

"What?" Your eyes narrowed and before you could question him further, he took you by surprise, leaning over in an instance to press his mouth to yours. 

Your stomach jumped as you returned his kiss, tilting your head to meet him halfway. It hadn't been so long since the last time you kissed him, but every second apart had felt like eternity. Every time you did this felt like the first time. Electric. New. Scary good. Your hand came to rest on his thigh, squeezing his leg. 

You were glad the windows were tinted, so he could do this. You were glad you were at a redlight so you couldn't take this further than you wanted to. If there were strings within your body, they were always pulling you to him. Reluctantly, he pulled back a breath, eyes hooded, "You taste like tiramisu."

You bit your lip. "I had some for dessert." 

The light changed to green, and he pulled back completely, foot on the gas pedal. You looked out the window, a smile forming that made your cheeks hurt. Light snow scattered across the city, settling on the windshield, settling into the crevices of the windowpane. It was so calm out there, and you glanced at the boy in the drivers seat. Hyunjin had his glasses on — the ones he only put on when he was driving. You didn't know that he needed them, as much as you needed them on him. He licked his lips, as if still cherishing your taste. Even now, as his face rested, he looked deep in thought. It suit him so well. Gnawing on his bottom lip, he navigated through the late-night traffic. He was driving fast, street lights bouncing off the windshield, colors scattering over his skin. You wish you had a camera so you could —

“You’re staring,” he broke the quiet and your chain of thoughts. He didn’t need to look at you, he could feel your gaze burning into him, the air humming with your want and unspoken desire. Just a week ago, you’d have been embarrassed to be caught, but now you met his eyes, "Yeah. I am," 

It felt unreal, him being here with you. Less than forty-eight hours had passed since Kairi's dinner party, yet the planet seemed to have spun on a new axis since then.

After all these months pining after him, wishing to be near him, you finally were. You didn't know how to comprehend all these new feelings. It felt like your heart had grown in his presence, stretching to accommodate this flood of emotions. He looked at you at those words, almost surprised by your newfound boldness, "You haven't even asked me where I'm taking you. I fear you're still half-asleep."

"I'm just thinking." You countered, eyes flicking between him and the blur of the city through the glass. "And obviously, I trust you. Surprises can be good for inspiration. Gets my brain thinking." His glance cut toward you. “What are you thinking about?”

Outside, groups of friends were walking home from bars, bottles in their hands. Even in the cold, the city nightlife thrived. Warmth coiled in your chest and you held onto it — this unfamiliar comfort of being beside him. “Just… happy I stayed. Happy I went to Kairi’s dinner.”

Because what if you hadn’t? What if you’d caught that train to Daejon instead? What if Hyunjin hadn't come to your doorstep and convinced you to stay? What if you'd never had that conversation in Kairi's house?

His words from that night came back to you:

I’m saying that if we really do this, there’s going to be a lot of discretion. It’s probably going to be difficult and frustrating as fuck, and we’re both going to have to be really careful. Is that really okay with you?

»»————- 48 hours ago.

He was still wiping lipstick stains off his jaw. You watched him from where you sat, on the marble counter. Your dress was soaked from the wine still, but you didn't feel it anymore. To give your attention to anything but him right now would be a sin. His sweater was untucked from his jeans, belt buckle hanging loose. You liked seeing him like that. Disheveled. He was always so perfect, it was nice that he was only a mess because of you.

If you and him were to be together, it could only be a thing of secrecy. You were still reeling from the high of kissing him but this was a conversation you needed to have. 

"So what does this mean?" You had asked. He'd been out of your life for so long, it was weird to imagine what could be normal now. He glanced at you, a curious look on his face, "You mean for us?"

"Yeah. What does this mean for us…going forward?" You hated how it sounded so sterile. You continued, “I missed what we were in Daejon. I missed how we were. Does this mean we can go back to that? Can it…can it still be like that?"

His expression softened, and it was as if you could watch your memories replaying in his eyes, a film reel of you and him in your little hometown, “That doesn’t have to change. We can still be like that."

A wild rush surged through your veins, and your heart felt unstable. This was everything you wanted, everything you’d been denying yourself until now. What would it even mean to be Hyunjin’s girl? Did it mean you could see him anytime that you wanted? Without making up a stupid excuse, but just because. After all this time, you could stop doubting if he wanted you the same way. You finally knew he did.

You thought hard, picking the right words to say, trying not to give yourself away. You had so many questions, "We have to keep this a secret. Does that mean we're not telling the others…your friends?"

You shouldn't be trying to find logic in this new relationship. You should fuck logic and just enjoy this, but you needed to make sure you were both on the same page. It seemed like he didn't have the answer to that. You'd caught him off guard. He paused, hands resting on the sink, "Maybe. I… don't know."

"But I don't want you to have to lie to your friends because of me." You wanted to slap yourself for coming up with problems right after finally getting what you wanted.

Hyunjin took a breath, then stepped closer to you, hands resting on your thighs, “It sounds bad but if we do this, we’re going to have to lie. To everyone. To a lot of people we care about, at least for a while…while we figure this out. I know they'll be supportive, Chan and the boys, but…they're going to worry. They think of me as some… emotional, sensitiveboy who thinks with his heart, not his head and they will worry. I don't want their stress to rub off on me. Not yet. Not when I finally have you the way I want."

But you are a sensitive and emotional boy who thinks with his heart. You bit your words back. It was a happy moment but having him hide it from the people closest to him made it seem like it wasn't. It's like he could read your mind, or at least he was trying to. His hand held up your chin, so you could look him in the eyes, "Hey. Don't worry about it. It's… not a bad thing, it's just how my world works. It's ridiculous sometimes. We'll tell them. In time."

"Right." Guilt bridled your tone as you looked into his eyes. You didn't want to come between him and years of friendships. But you were already taking a huge plunge and risking his entire career just because of your feelings for him. What was one more thing to that?

Hyunjin's voice softened, "Is it that bad to want you just to myself for a little while?"

You could tell he was trying to lighten your mood. It worked. A small smile crept up your face as you said, "No. I want you to be my little secret too. It's…kind of hot."

"Is it?" He laughed, eyes crinkling in the way that you so loved.

"Mmh. Like it's forbidden…the stakes feel so high." It made your feelings for him tenfold more intense — he was yours and nobody could know that. Nobody deserved to have that part of him. You'd never felt territorial before in your life but this was probably the beginnings of it. Hyunjin's gaze dropped, his hands settling on your hips, "You're right. The stakes are high."

"And I happen to be a great liar, so this should be a real piece of cake." You smiled. He laughed, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, "Do you still have that phone I gave you?”

A few weeks ago — on the night he convinced you to stay in Seoul — he'd given you a burner phone, so you could communicate only to him. You nodded, "I still don’t understand why I need a decoy phone. I’m not famous. Shouldn’t just you having one be enough?”

He answered as if he expected your question, “I don’t want anything to be traced back to your real number. There’s a lot of crazy, messed-up people in the world.”

The thought was scary, that someone out there would deliberately want to track you down . “Right… Is there anything else I should be careful about?”

He took a moment to think about it. There was a magnitude of things you couldn’t do and very, very few that you could.

You could only text him on his decoy number.

You couldn't follow him on any social media.

You couldn’t really go out in public together.

You definitely couldn’t go to his and the boys' apartment. It was public knowledge where they lived; it would be too risky to be even seen in the neighborhood. Their managers lived across from their apartment and watched them closely. That shocked you. They were grown adults who didn’t need constant supervision. It just seemed like one of the many things you’d have to get used to, being part of his life.

“And…I definitely can’t be seen with your lipstick prints all over my face.” He had added. You narrowed your eyes, tugging him closer by the collar of his sweater, "Not your face. So only the parts of you that won't be seen by the public."

Your hands drifted up his sweater, tracing the shape of his chest and feeling his heartbeat quicken beneath your touch. He laughed, clearly affected by your gesture. Your fingers hovered over his ribcage, and you asked, "How about here?"

He smiled like this didn't bother him, but his eyes betrayed him, a carnal desire swirling through them. "As much as I would want that…It'll get us into trouble."

You dropped your hands from his skin, “Well…I won’t let you get into any trouble. Not because of me. Never ever.”

He smiled, eyes crinkling at your earnest admission, "I know you won't."

"Are you scared?" The question escaped before you could stop it. You flinched, feeling like you’d cracked open something raw and dangerous. Each worry felt like opening Pandora's box, like this would be it. This would be the thing that'd make him change his mind.

An eyebrow shot up, "Scared?"

"That this could ruin everything? That I could?" You asked, wishing you could bite your tongue. It was stupid to say this. Did you want to push him away?

His eyes searched yours, matching the vulnerability on your face, and his voice was soft as a whisper, "I would say… you're just about the only person in the world I trust with my life."

His words went straight to your heart, embedding them deep like a promise. He was trusting you, with everything, with his life that he'd built up over years and years of hardship and training.

You could never betray that trust. You'd protect him and your big little secret with everything you had. Even if it was hard, and even if it could possibly hurt you. You'd do that before you let anything affect him. You'd get hurt a million times before letting it ruin his life.

"Thank you. For trusting me." 

His eyes roamed your wine-soaked dress. He tilt his head, "You wanna change out of that now?"

Right. The drink you'd spilled as a stupid ploy to get him to follow you in here, to get him alone. It was stupid but it had clearly worked. “I should.”

He reached for you, hand on your waist to help you off the countertop. Your stomach turned at the simplicity and kindness of his gesture. You'd missed how this felt. He pulled you away from the bathroom into Kairi’s room across the hall. You'd already forgotten about the group of friends downstairs waiting for you to return. You searched through her closet for something simple to wear. A soft, fuzzy, blue sweater stood out. You unzipped your dress, careful not to make too much noise, your ears burning at the thought that Hyunjin might be watching. 

Subtly, you glanced over your shoulder to check if he was looking at you, curious about his reaction. He wasn't watching you change; instead he stood by the door like he wanted to give you privacy. The room was dark, and he was only illuminated by the hallway light. His arms were crossed as he waited, leaning against the doorframe, eyes unfocused as if deep in thought.

There was a sudden quietness to the two of you now. A calm that only came with getting what you wanted. When you finally had what you'd fought for all this time, what did you have left to do? 

You pulled the sweater over your head, and slipped on a pair of Kairi's baggy pants. It didn't match with your dolled up hair and your kitten heels. “So… do you like my fit?” You stepped close to him, revealing your outfit in the dim light. He looked at you, gaze raking over you, smiling, "Very much."

He then took a step to you, voice low, “I’m really happy you came tonight.” That was right. If you hadn’t made the last-minute decision to come, none of this would have happened. You smiled honestly, “Me too.”

Even in heels, you had to stretch up to kiss him. It was so nice… to just kiss him like this without pretending. It still felt far out but you had to remind yourself — this whole game of charade you'd been playing was over now. He pressed his mouth to yours, tender, hand grazing the small of your back, mumbling, “We should get back before they think something's happened to us.”

You didn't have the heart to tell him that they probably thought you were up here fucking. After, you had slipped out back to Kairi’s living room. All of his friends lay in wait for you — Chan, Jisung, Changbin and Kairi gathered around the coffee table. The television was on in the back, a muted news channel talking about the sudden snowstorm that hit Seoul. “There you two are.” Kairi had exclaimed, eyes drifting to the sweater you had on, "We were wondering if you were ever coming back."

"Sorry." You apologized, settling back on the couch as Hyunjin went over to Jisung. They talked in loud whispers, and you tried to focus on what Chan was saying to you but it was hard. Nobody else knew about the conversation you’d had with Hyunjin, the decision you’d made to explore this — to finally give each other a chance, all strings attached.

You think it was obvious on your face what had just occurred. Something electric had rewired your very core.

When you were thirteen, your friends would obsess over comic books, and you always thought it was funny how the main character was always hit with something - a spider, radiation, a freak accident - so they could become a superhero. That's kind of how you felt right now, like your very own DNA was rearranging itself. 

Your body felt reinvented, as if your cells shifted to accommodate the truth that Hyunjin was now yours.

Maybe that was an extraordinarily crazy way of looking at it, but nothing about you and him had ever been ordinary. 

»»————- now.

You still felt like that now, forty-eight hours later, sitting in the passenger seat of Hyunjin's car. Liquid fire in your veins from sitting so close to him. He had been quietly humming along to his playlist. Casually perfect, casually yours. 

You watched him so intently, wanting to memorize the way this moment felt. You didn't notice you'd arrived to your destination. He eased the car into a nearly empty parking lot, headlights dimming. "We're here."

The neighborhood was usual, a blend of clubs and apartments. Bars and pubs lined the streets, playing loud music to drunk crowds. But of course, you weren't going into the bars, there were far too many people there who could recognize him.

You followed him into the cold night, zipping your jacket up to the top as he pushed open an unassuming door on the street. Up a narrow stairwell that smelled of wood and dust. You didn't expect the climb and you quietly followed him to the top floor. A neon sign read 'Emergency Exit' above the door. He took in a breath, pushing it open. A gust of wind blew over you, and you realized he had led you to a rooftop.

Tentatively, you stepped out. The rooftop overlooked the city of Seoul. The view was insane. "Whoa…" You puffed your breath, a cloud of cold air escaping, stepping forward onto the gravel. "This is…ridiculous."

You were looking out at an expanse of skyscrapers, lights, highways in the distance with lights threading in red and yellow traffic. Before you could even take in the view, Hyunjin grabbed your arm, pulling you towards him. You laughed, "What are you doi—" But then he was kissing you. 

You obliged him, arms coming up around his neck, meeting his mouth in the middle. 

He kissed you like he hadn't in forever, hands holding your body, fingers digging into the leather of your jacket. He was urgent, frantic, like he'd been waiting to do this. Like everything he'd been holding in this entire time had exploded into this desire right now. 

You had so much to ask him, so much to talk to him about, but you let yourself get lost in the moment. This is what it meant to date Hyunjin. His hands sank into your hair, tugging at your roots. It triggered a moan, your mouth falling open. You couldn't help it, a giggle escaped you at this sudden passion. This all felt very teenage. Hyunjin pulled back, eyes narrowed in confusion. You adjusted your jacket and it was all bunched up from where he was gripping it, "Sorry. I…Did you just bring me up here to make out? Not that I mind…" 

He shook his head, eyes narrowed, cheeks red, "No…I wanted to see you." He cleared his throat, "Wanted to talk to you."

"Mmh." You smiled, stepping back, "That was some great talking." You didn't want to get all hot and bothered, not here, not like this. You looked around, trying to not focus on how good it felt to kiss him, observing the single clothesline that hung across, and discarded cigarette butts that lay on the gravel. There was a fresh one, and you crushed it with your boot, "Are we even allowed to be up here?" 

"One of my friends lives in the building. He's brought me up here before." 

"What friend?"

Hyunjin rest his head against the door, eyes glazing over your form, like he was still disappointed you'd pulled away, "Just another trainee from Pegasus."

“Does he know we're up here?" You crossed your arms to warm yourself. Hyunjin's eyebrow shot up, intimidatingly hot, "Does it matter?"

Your eyes widened, "I didn't know you were such a rebel. Trespassing onto rooftops, renting Ford mustangs under fake names…"

He had a boyish grin on his face, like he felt proud of the fact, "You'd be surprised what I'm willing to do."

He walked over to the edge, joining you, snow crunching beneath his feet. So easily, he then stepped up onto the parapet. Your heart skipped a beat at his nonchalance. He looked back at you over his shoulder, "Don't worry. There's a ledge right under.” He sat down like it was the most natural thing in the world, legs hanging off the edge, "Come here."

You looked over the edge. It wasn't too far a drop, the ledge safely jutted out underneath, almost like it was made for lovers to rendezvous in the night. Your gut twisted, but you swung your legs over, joining him. He steadied you with one hand on your back, the other gripping you firmly until you settled beside him. "Careful…" He murmured, arm brushing yours as you shifted closer.

"Phew." You puffed your cheeks, trying not to look down, "Didn't know you'd be getting me out of bed for a near-death experience."

"I would never let anything happen to you."

"Do you come up here a lot?" You tried to focus on the view of the city — it was gorgeous. The recent snowstorm had left everything in a cover of white, like you'd dropped white paint all over a fresh canvas.

"I used to come up here a lot when I moved back from Daejon. It was a nice place, to think, to watch the leaves change in the fall. It wasn't as cold either." He answered.

"What trees?" You joked, hands digging into your jacket pockets, looking out at all the steel and concrete that dominated the Seoul skyline. He smiled at the jab, and then looked at you, frowning, “You’re shivering.” 

“No, I’m fine.” 

Without a word, Hyunjin untangled his red scarf from his neck, holding it to you. You started to protest, but he was already draping the red wool around your neck, fingers tucking it gently under your chin. You snuggled deeper into the scarf’s warmth, mumbling, “If I’d known you were dragging me up here, I’d have worn something warmer. Now you're gonna be cold instead of me. How's that a fair trade off?"

"And maybe I'd prefer to freeze to death before letting you shiver."

You looked at him, eyebrows shot up, "You're so romantic."

He chuckled, "I'm sorry it had to be this late. Just had a crazy day and I really wanted to see you. I couldn't think of anywhere else we could go and… once I remembered this place, I had to text you. I'm very bad at holding back on my urges."

"Oh, are you?" You teased, swaying your legs in the wind. His mouth quirked. “If I’d gone home and gone to bed, I’d have regretted not texting you.” 

"You love getting what you want."

He let out a soft sigh. “Well, Changbin says he admires that about me.” 

"Of course Changbin would.” You mumbled. Hyunjin laughed, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means they've spoiled you. I don't blame them. Saying no to you would kind of be impossible." You said, and your laughter betrayed you. He scrunched his nose, reaching for your hands suddenly as if to change the topic, "What even is that? Charcoal?"

“Yeah. I was sketching earlier. Trying a new medium.” You admitted. His fingers on your wrist turned your hand up; his thumb brushed along the lines of your palm. “You have soft hands.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the sudden observation, "Thanks."

"How are you?" He then looked up to you, eyes sincere. That came out of nowhere. You blinked, meeting his gaze, "How am I?"

He didn't let go of your hand, and you think maybe he just needed an excuse to hold it. 

"You've had a rough couple of weeks." He sounded guilty, but he was not.

"That's not on you."

"I guess." Slowly, he intertwined his fingers with yours. It sent different kind of shivers down your spine. His palm was softer than you could ever imagine yours being.

"Kim Jieong's the asshole…you couldn't have known that.” You said. His gaze searched yours, "But I wasn't exactly the best to you, I cut you off —"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me again, Hyunjin. I…get it." You squeezed his hand, "And as to your question, I'm much better. I think I needed to give myself some time to process what happened…and move on. I think I could be meant for cooler things than Kim fucking Jieong. Like I've been thinking… I would love to work at a place like The Chateau was back home…to help people, just bond over art. I don't really wanna compete to prove myself. I don't think I'm cut out for it. It's harsh even to make it as an artist and it just doesn't make sense to fight others for it."

A relieved smile broke across his face, as if a weight had lifted off his shoulders after hearing your words, "I think you'd be pretty great at something like that."

You brushed your thumb against his hand, "And what about you?"

He looked at you, tilting his head, "Did I tell you I'm a Hermes ambassador now? Crazy…They're sending me to Copenhagen for that." 

"What? That's…amazing. When?" Turning to face him, you crossed your legs on the little ledge. He said that so casually.

"The winter fashion week. They want me to sit in the front row." He laughed, nervous, "I don't know why. I'm not an expert on fashion. I'm kind of nervous."

"That sounds really fucking cool. Is it your first time there?”

He nodded. “And my first solo appearance overseas. My manager says it’s good for publicity. I like their style, so… maybe I’ll enjoy it. Who knows? That's in a few weeks, so there's been a lot of preparation around that.”

"Why are you nervous?" You whispered. He shrugged, drawing little circles on your hand, "I'm representing the group at the event. It just feels like a lot. I'll have to make small talk with everyone. I'm supposed to be 'networking' I'm kind of dreading that. And I also don't enjoy the long travel days…"

"How long is that flight, like 10 hours?"

"A little over, yeah."

"That sounds tiring."

He thought about it, "It can get tiring yeah, but…I also am excited to see the city. I've heard a lot about their architecture and I'm excited to photograph the streets, to try new food, I tell myself it'll be worth all the jet lag. I think one day when I'm too old for this job, I'll move to a countryside near there and just paint all day.”

You smiled at his words, "I could totally see you as a recluse." 

"Right? And…nobody would know me." He then looked at you, "We could be just about anybody. Go anywhere."

"Wow. That sounds tempting. I wouldn't mind doing that." You added. It felt crazy to talk about your and Hyunjin's future together so normally, like in twenty years you could both do that. For the first time, it felt tangible. You could see your life with him flash before your eyes. Perhaps you were getting too ahead of yourself.

"Really?" He tilt his head, "I see you as someone who'd travel the world when she gets the chance, not settle down in some nowhere town."

You laughed, "You're right. There are so many places I want to see before I…become a hermit like you." He smiled at that. You continued, "I could imagine it changing my perspective. Sometimes, I think my world is so small. It opened up a bit more when I moved here, but I know there's so much more to see and fall in love with. Especially when all my favorite artists are from there."

Hyunjin was listening to you carefully, lips twitching into a smile, "Have you ever flown out of the country?” 

“Just once. With my family, like ten years ago. There was a wedding in Sydney. I don’t remember much though.”

"Did you like it?"

"I'm sure I did…I still have all the souvenirs and bus tickets at home, but yeah, those dreams are all for later. Maybe in ten years I can gift myself a birthday trip to a place like that. For now…" You looked out at the view that you had grown to love, "For now, Seoul will do."

“I mean, it's nice to be able to travel for work, but most of the time we don’t even see the cities. We’re just… rushed from one schedule to the next. I guess I should take it more as a blessing and not complain so much.”

You laughed, "And how are the boys doing?"

He sighed, shoulders sinking, "Overworked. Working on our next album. The company wants us to do a pop album, but it's so different from our current sound…so it's kind of hard to try that out while still trying to be authentic to ourselves."

"The company gets to decide that?"

"Yup. Since they're paying for it. Right now, literally everybody else in the industry is doing pop. I guess it's our turn." He said. You frowned, "Isn't that more reason not to do it?"

Hyunjin scoffed, "You would think. The company executives work in mysterious ways that us humans could never understand."

"Right. Us mortals aren't privy to the way the big corporations' brains work."

He laughed but you could feel the passion in his voice, "They think if we do a pop album, it proves to the investors that we're worth spending all their money on. It's a lot of pressure for Chan…"

"I can imagine…"

He took a breath, and continued, "And I want to help him. But of course I have to go sit front row in a fashion show. I don't even know much about fashion! Surely they could have picked someone else. I'm only there because the label has money to send me…and I guess cause I have the most… followers." He said the last part quieter, like he was embarrassed, "That kinda shit matters to them a lot. We have so many obligations now. I guess I just feel like a sellout. I'm sorry, scratch that. I didn't bring you up here to rant."

“Hyun…” You reached out to his arm, stroking it, “Don’t be sorry. Thank you for telling me that. You could talk to me about anything, you know that.”

He glanced at you, lips twitching into a smile, "I know. But I don't want to talk to you about just my problems."

"Well. I don't know much about the industry, but I know that they'll love you at the fashion show, and I know that if you do end up having to make a pop album, it'll probably be the greatest of our century."

He looked adorable, a shy expression, and it was much nicer to see that then the furrows in his brows or the frown in his smile. You leaned over, to press a sweet kiss to his cheek, "You're incredible."

Hyunjin's cheeks flushed. You pulled back, just a bit, eyes hovering over his. He stared back at you in silence, intense gaze and then whispered, "I can't believe you're here."

He leaned forward to kiss you. His hand landed on your thigh, the other on your chin. He tilt your head to match his pace and the rooftop was dead quiet except for the sounds of you kissing. Heat coursed through your veins, and your heart beat faster with every kiss. This was the stuff dreams were made of. The kind of love people wished on shooting stars for. You wish you could pinch yourself to remind yourself that this was real, not a dream. Each moment with Hyunjin, you'd be pinching yourself every day for the rest of your life.

He pulled back to breathe, "With all this stuff the company makes us do…that's why you're so important to me. I give up so much for this life and…"

You stilled, curious to hear what was next.

"I look at you and I'm like, finally. Finally I'm doing something for myself."

Your eyes widened. You were his one thing. The words made your heart swell, and you smiled so big your cheeks hurt. It was crazy to believe you meant so much to him. You observed his face, the sincereness in it, the beauty behind it. It was unfathomable how you'd found someone like him in your simple, little life. Pinch.

"And hey, maybe if we do get big enough internationally, we could have more say in things and more control." He added. You nodded, still feeling drunk off his kiss, your words overlapping with his as you added, "And you will be so big, and so successful, and they will be so proud of you. I already am."

"I guess the only downside to that is I wouldn't be able to hide anywhere."

Your hands settled at the nape of his neck, playing with his hair. Like habit, he relaxed into it as you said, "The world is so big. I'm sure you'd find a town where they don't care about boyband music at all and you can still live your dream life."

He laughed, eyes flickering to yours, "Thank you for humoring me."

"Always." You smiled at him. Always, as in forever. Could he feel that through your words, through your gaze, through your eyes? You meant it. 

You shifted closer to him, dropping your head on his shoulder, watching the snowflakes drift down. He had chosen you for himself. It was a crazy thought. If only your teenage self could see you right now. She would have had less days chasing after boys who didn't want her, and wondering when she'd be with the one who truly cared for her. Or maybe all of that had to happen for you to appreciate the sanctity of this moment. Character development.

You sat silent for a while. 

Faint music was playing from the bars downstairs. English songs from the 80s. It was a nice vibe. It was exactly Hyunjin's vibe. "I love this song." He noticed. A romantic song was playing. With or Without You by U2.

You smiled, "It's nice." Hyunjin started mumbling the words, singing along under his breath. His voice was soft and breathy. His accent was restrained, subtle. The song got louder, as if the bars knew you and him were listening to it, like they were only playing this for the two of you. He suddenly started to stand up, back from the ledge. You looked at him in confusion, "What are you doing?"

"Come on. I love this song." He repeated, extending his hand to you. Tentatively, you grabbed his hand to step back onto the roof. The snow crunched under your feet. It had started piling up more and more. Hyunjin pulled you close, one hand slipping around your waist. You giggled at the realization, "We're dancing…?"

"That's a word for it." He smiled, dimples in his cheek, slowly swaying you around. 

It was silly. You were both bundled up in winter coats. At first, you couldn't help but be self aware, smiling at the thought of it all. He was more reserved, watching you, focused on the music. The snowfall was slow, and your cheeks were both red from the cold.

The song played in tandem with your footsteps. Your heart beat in tandem with his. Silly. No one else on the planet you'd do this with. 

Hyunjin knew the words and mumbled them under his breath every so often, but mostly he just looked right at you. You looked at him too, at the way his eyelashes rested on his cheeks when he blinked, the way the city lights reflected off his cheekbones. He was beautiful in every moment. 

The song grew louder, music ramping up and you hadn't heard this song in a million years but now you could feel it in your body, it was playing over this moment like you were in a movie. His eyes were half-lidded, a lazy but content smile on his face. "This is nice." He spoke, eyes drifting to your lips. 

Slowly, he bent down, mouth meeting yours perfectly with the beat. It's like he timed the kiss to perfection too, just as the music built into the bridge. You stilled, eyes shutting as he kissed you so tenderly, holding you so close to him.

"Your lips are so cold." He whispered, moving an inch away to breathe and before you could respond, he had closed the gap between your mouths again. You tilt your head up to accommodate him. Your hands were shaking from the cold so you brought them up to his chest, bunching his coat in your fists, holding him. You'd forgotten your gloves at home, but Hyunjin was hot enough. He paused for another second, looking deep into your eyes, "Warm enough?"

Your head was full of the music. It penetrated your brain, and you shook your head no. His lips curled into a smile, and he grabbed your chin, pulling you up to kiss him again, harder. You were on your toes now. He was so tall. Your heart pound so loud in your ears. He asked again, edging you, "How about now? Warmer?"

Lost for words, you shook your head again. He grabbed your face, kissing you for a third time, longer, more passionate, more intense. His tongue was in your mouth. Yours in his. 

And now in the harsh cold, your body was burning hot. Warmth traveled from his lips to your tiptoes, an intense tingle down your spine, like a fever spreading through you the longer he touched you, the longer he kissed you.

Snow fell all around you, falling onto Hyunjin's eyelashes, onto your cheeks, melting as soon as it touched your skin because he was making you so warm. He pulled back again, lips hovering over yours, "And now?"

“More.” You bit your lip, brain fuzzy and full of static, “Still cold.”

He laughed, breathless from the kisses and the cold, a warm hoarseness in his voice. "You're greedy."

“Yes.” You mumbled, pupils blown wide as you blinked up at him. His voice was curious, “What are you gonna do when I’m not here? When I’m gone for long?”

“Die.” You mumbled, chasing his mouth for another touch. He pulled back, lips swollen, “That’s not funny.”

You pouted at the separation of your lips, being away from him was physically hurting you, “I wasn’t being funny. Just don’t be gone for long, Hyun. Keep kissing me." Your body hurt, and your core hurt and your heart hurt, "Kiss me until it stops snowing, and it's summer again, and then after that too. Don't ever stop, please."

His eyes widened, and the song was ending, slowing down as he said, “You say things with such intensity. Such…passion.” His finger reached out to your lips, thumbing your bottom lip, “I love that about you. I wish I could capture everything you say and bottle it up.”

“I wish I could bottle you up.” You were getting impatient, fingers dragging down his body, aching for more, more, moreand this is exactly why you hadn't wanted to start kissing in the middle of nowhere.

He laughed, harnessing a restraint you could never teach yourself in a million years as he pulled back, fingers memorizing the shape of your lips, “I should get you back before it’s morning.”

»»————-

It was much, much easier to promise a secret than to actually keep one. That was something you learnt the hard way over the weeks that followed your and Hyunjin’s rooftop tryst. Of course you could keep a secret. In theory.

You’d hidden things from your friends before — about your desires to move to the city, your true feelings about life in a dead-end town. Back then, it came so easy you could trick yourself into believing it to be the truth. You'd done it so effortlessly. So, in taking all the skills built through your teenage years, this shouldn’t be so hard now. If it were up to you, you'd talk about him to any human who'd lend you an ear. But it was not up to you. So it'd be a secret you would take to your grave.

The next couple of days blurred into something strange and sweet. You weren't suddenly in a serious relationship, at least not in the way regular people would define it, but it was pretty damn close to what you two could have in this reality.

Neither of you had got much sleep. You talked to him, over text, voice messages, pictures, every waking second, every breath. He had a busier life than you - vocal lessons, photoshoots, interviews, so you hadn't seen him in person. Not since the night you'd met on the rooftop. You already missed him, his touch, how he tasted, the way he made you feel. You missed him with a sharpness that left your chest hollow. So you filled the gap with other things.

Seoul’s pretty fucking cool when you’re not depressed.

Yeonjun and you saw each other a lot more, making a weekly routine out of it. He’d take you to jazz bars, and even as a plus-one to a work event. His life was all corporate jargon and meetings, and it was fun to dip your toes into the kind of life you could have had in another reality.

Other days, when all of your friends were busy, you’d sit by the Han River, the winter sun warm on your skin and people-watch. People-watching was so much better here than back home. Here, you could actually make up stories about all the lives around you because everyone was a stranger. It could only work here because back in Daejon, you already knew everyone. But here, there were nine million people in this city and you would never know them all. The thought should have been scary. It wasn't. It felt like a kind of freedom you'd never had.

You'd only been here a few months, but you couldn't imagine living in a small town after this. You'd changed from who you used to be. That much was obvious. Your routine was busy again, you were hardly ever at home, and you’re finally living your life in Seoul.

Kairi took you thrifting, and your closet was slowly starting to look more like your style and less like settling for whatever Daejon had available. Mismatched patterns. Oversized, modern coats that looked like you’d see them on magazine covers. A thrifted jacket with embroidered dragons on the back that you started wearing everywhere, even though it barely kept you warm. You'd never had the confidence to wear stuff like this when you were younger - you'd stick out like a sore thumb - but you felt different now. 

There was a routine to your life that had never existed before. Perhaps it was contrary that the routine came with insane bursts of spontaneity. You'd go out with Yeonjun for dinner and end up at a gaming arcade till the early hours of the morning. You and Kairi would stumble upon a world-famous artist exhibition happening right next to the thrift stores you scoured for items. 

It was the best city in the world to not know what the fuck you were gonna do with your life. It had everything to offer. You'd let yourself be taken by any and all creative pursuits the city had.

Hyunjin already had that. He had so much going on. His job wasn't a thing he could leave at the office at the end of a day. It was him. Every waking second of his day was dedicated to his craft, to getting better, to being there for the band members, to creating something for the fans. There was no rest, no in-between moments. He had obligations to so many people. It made sense why he had shut down all those months ago and uprooted his life by moving to Daejon.

So, you dug yourself into your passions too.

Yeonjun had a new obsession, a gaming arcade in Myeongdong. He'd convinced you to get a membership for it. You sat in the booth together, challenging each other to the new Walking Dead game. He leaned forward, focusing on the game, "I can't believe you've never played this game, and you're already beating me."

You laughed, focusing on the screen, swivelling the gun to maim the zombies, "It's not that hard. Just point and shoot."

"We should enter a tournament if that's so easy." He joked, he was still in his suit from work, he'd come straight here. You, on the other hand, were in your matching grey sweats, legs crossed on the arcade bench so you could be comfortable. He killed another zombie and said, "Work's sending me to a leadership retreat to Tokyo next week. "

You glanced at him, "Don't tell me. And they're paying for everything?"

"Yup. Although I'm gonna be bored out of my mind.” He mumbled. You feigned a gasp, "Oh my god. Tokyo must be gorgeous this time of year. Maybe I should get a corporate job too."

He shot at a zombie, saving your character nonchalantly, "I can't imagine you in one, Y/N. And I mean that with no offense."

"What do you mean?" You stopped to stare at him. He shrugged, "I'm sitting at the desk for eight hours a day, in a stuffy suit and tie, making small talk with old white men from some bumfuck town in Ohio. You…you deserve a more interesting life than that."

You laughed at his words, "But they're paying for you to go to fucking Tokyo. That's more interesting than my life will ever get if I stay an artist. Like who's going to sponsor me to travel and get inspired?"

"Okay." He inadvertently paused the game, looking at you, "When you're famous enough, you can just do that on your own."

"I do not want to be famous." You laughed. He nudged you, resuming the game, "Yeah. I guess it's not all that great. I'm upset I'm gonna miss your birthday."

You stilled, fingers over the controller, and time had really slipped away from you because you completely forgotten how close you were to it, "That's fine."

Yeonjun glanced at you, "No, it's not. I missed your last birthday too…I hate that it's becoming a thing.” You tried to focus on the game as you spoke, "That wasn't your fault. We all kinda iced you out after the breakup. And you missed nothing. We just went for a movie Yongbok wanted to see. Evil Dead something."

"You didn't even pick the movie for your birthday?" His eyes narrowed, and he was getting distracted from the game mission. You laughed, "I mean, I haven't celebrated my birthday in years. I didn't mind."

Yeonjun let out a exhale, "You deserve to be celebrated. Please tell me you guys at least did a cake."

The game lights flashed over the two of you, as you moved on to the next level and you said, "That was last year. It doesn't matter. By the way, your character is absolutely losing. I can't believe we never did this in Daejon."

"Oh, Yongbok would never have let you play with me. He would have snatched you up any time he got." He laughed. You smiled, eyes focused on the screen as your characters ran through the map, "Probably."

"Remember when Yongbok begged his parents to get him a Pac-Man machine on his birthday?" You laughed at the memory, "Wait. Yeah. I remember him crying about it for weeks."

"And that was what, his 16th birthday?" 

You smiled, "He's hilarious."

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, one, two and three times, and you knew who it was. You immediately reached for it, losing focus from the game. 

i miss you so much  i cant stop thinking about you…what are you up to? i was gonna do something crazy and just come over to your place but eunwoo's being a hard ass right now and our schedule for the next few days looks insane ill figure something out. i think ill lose my mind if i don't see you soon

Your breath caught in your throat, the intensity of his texts catching you off guard. You heard growls, and you looked up to see your character get swarmed by zombies. Yeonjun glanced at you, laughing, "Girl. What happened?"

"Sorry. Sorryyy." You put your phone away, unable to stop smiling after that text despite your character dying, "I'll pay for the next round."

"Don't worry about it." Yeonjun laughed, leaning back in his seat, eyes flickering over your form, "Something… about you is different."

You leaned forward, keeping his gaze, but your heart was already pounding thinking about Hyunjin's text, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. You know what they say, you have a glow…" He raised an eyebrow, "Did you get laid?"

You laughed, putting in six more coins for the game to restart, "I assure you that did not happen."

"Right. I don't believe you.”

"I didn't get laid!" You laughed, "You'd be the first to know if I did."

He scrunched his nose like he didn't believe you, "Sure."

You and Hyunjin never got time to yourselves. The only privacy you could get would be in your apartment. He was always busy. You rolled your eyes, "I'm just happy, okay? Even though the sun sets at four pm, and it's always freezing and the only thing I want to eat is soup…I kind of love winter. I don't know why I was always so obsessed with summer."

Yeonjun laughed, "Summer just has a lot of propaganda behind it. Winter looks good on you, Y/N. It's the happiest I've seen you."

You tilt your head, your heart swelling as your best friend made these observations about you, "Really?"

"And…I'll wait for you to tell me the reason for that." He stated, eyes narrowed on you teasingly. You laughed, "So I need a reason? I can't just be happy?"

"Oh. You're not just happy. You're grossly giddy all the time. At least it's in time for your birthday."

You giggled, "Right. You're not even gonna be here for it so what am I supposed to do?"

He shrugged, "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

You felt overwhelmed with love as Yeonjun and you continued gaming, absolutely obliterating every zombie in your path, and you felt a rush thinking of seeing Hyunjin soon. Your body was filled with buzz. You couldn't even stay still, the adrenaline buzzing you up so much that you played the game like never before, beating your high score twice in a row.

You'd never felt like this before. It's as if something had been missing in your life this whole time, this unconditional love, a giddy feeling in your stomach and now it's everywhere. 

You're drowning in it. 

»»————-

Today, you're at your favorite cafe. The one with the pink chairs and the butter pecan seasonal cookies. You bit into one, crumbs of it falling over your sketchbook. You've been here for hours. You're inspired, and you've been sketching so much you've gone through two notebooks.

The cafe was playing smooth R&B tunes and it remind you of him. Everything remind you of him so you texted him, at the risk of sounding needy.

when do you think i can see you next?

And in the next second, before you'd taken a new breath, you received a text back. It was like he was waiting for you, fingers at the ready to type in a message.

hey, im in a fitting for a photoshoot. ohh what's it for? ah, just an editorial. vogue. ?? are you for real. that's insane.  yes haha. im… modelling for calvin klein lol. what….???

He texted you a picture of him, it looked like his manager had taken it behind the scenes. He stood against a white backdrop, in a tight red and white baseball shirt, low jeans that hung on his waist, a Gucci belt on his hips. The shirt was cropped, exposing his midriff just the right amount, and the band of his underwear. 

you look really hot. like wow…how long are you gonna be at the shoot? thank you :) honestly, probably a couple of hours. im still in only my first outfit. there's seven ugh. you're so strong. i believe in you. it's just a photoshoot. im not saving the world well being hot is a full-time job. ah of course.that's probably why you're so tired all the time.  cheeseball. sorry, i got to go they're calling me back, ill text you later.

You turned your phone over, focusing on your sketches. The cafe had some regulars and you tried to embody them in your sketches. Nobody lingered in the cafe as long as you did, so their faces were finished from memory or filled in with your imagination. You would need a new sketchbook very soon, and you made a note of going to the art shop again. Hours passed this way. 

"Can I get you anything else? The kitchen's about to close." A deep voice interrupted you. You glanced up at the cafe employee stood at your table. You hadn't realized it was almost closing time. You'd spent almost the entire day here. You wonder if he recognized you — you'd frequented this same cafe for weeks, sitting at the same spot. It would be nice to be a regular here. It'd cement your place in this city more. You pointed to the cookie, "Who makes these? Because they're like…way too good to be made in a mass-produced factory."

He smiled, "We get them from a baker in Gimpo."

"Ah… Well tell them I love these.” You said. His eyes wandered to your sketches, "Whoa. Those are real good."

"Oh. Thank you." You sat up straighter, suddenly feeling self-conscious despite the compliment. He stared at your work, "Do you do exhibitions? You're very talented."

"Oh. No…I just draw for myself.” You flushed. He shrugged, m"Well, if you did exhibitions…I'm sure a lot of people would come."

"I wouldn't know anything about that." You laughed, reading his nametag, "But that's very sweet of you to say, MJ."

"Of course. I'll get back to work. It's nice to see you in here so often." He stated, shooting you a smile before walking back to the counter. The sketch he'd admired was far from your best work, but it was so nice to be appreciated, by a stranger nonetheless. He was nice. You smiled, putting your pencil down to stretch out your limbs. You'd been in this posture for hours. You reached a hand back, squeezing your muscles. 

Your phone vibrated against the table, lighting up with a text from Hyunjin.

want me to get that for you? what…? jisung tells me im great at massages

Your eyes narrowed in confusion. You looked up, eyes wandering across the cafe. And there he was. Hyunjin stood at the counter, half-hidden under a Yankees cap. He stood in the queue, an image of nonchalance, an obscure smile on his face. 

You couldn't believe he was here. In this very public place.

what are you doing here?

He was typing on his phone, one hand in his pocket. 

we're on lunch break. i…thought i'd pop in here for a coffee.  but…you literally work all the way across the city.  i like that sweater on you. pretty. they don't have coffee at the photo studio?

Your eyes flit up to his, he did such a good job of blending in with the crowd. He seemed so deadpan neutral, waiting for his turn at the counter. He ordered a coffee, then leaned against the counter as he waited. 

i missed you.  are you serious? so you came all this way….just to see me? is that weird? no, it's so romantic.  i wish i could sit with you. if only there was nobody else in this coffee shop. are you gonna go back soon? yeah. they need me back on set in 20. 

So he really came all this way…just to look at you from across the room for a few minutes. He was only twenty feet away but you wanted to be closer. In such a public place, all you needed was an excuse really. So, you grabbed the little plate and stood up to walk over to the counter. 

Hyunjin stiffened, only for a second, when he realized you were walking towards him. You tried not to look at him immediately, focusing on the barista MJ. "Hey. Could I get another?"

MJ blinked, but then his face broke into a smile when he saw you, "Oh. Another cookie?"

"Yes, please." You weren't even hungry. It was crazy, the things you were doing to be close to him in the public. 

"Sure. Do you want it heated up? Also a tip…" He lowered his voice as if he was telling you a secret, "We might not have the cookies from Monday. We only get them twice a year." 

"You're kidding me." You blinked, "I should buy all of them out then.” MJ laughed at your response, putting your cookie in the oven, "That was the last one of the day."

"Well, guess I'll just have to go to that bakery in Gimpo." You sighed, tapping your card to pay. 

"You can wait over there." MJ said, motioning to where Hyunjin stood, who was still waiting for his coffee. You walked over to his space with a nod. 

Your eyes met, like two strangers glancing at each other. Your breath caught in your throat. His makeup from the photoshoot was gorgeous. There was glitter on his eyes, a dark burgundy around his eyes. Silver flecks in the corners of his eyes. Pink blush all on his cheekbones. You almost said something out loud, about how gorgeous it looked. 

Yeah, he tried to blend in, with the casual fit, with the American baseball cap but he never really could, not when he looked like that. You'd realised a long time ago that Hyunjin would stand out in every room he was in.

"Americano for Hwang." They called his name out, and handed him his large cup of to-go coffee. Hyunjin's big hands grabbed it, multi-colored gummy rings on his fingers, and then took a sip of his coffee experimentally, glossy lips puckering around his straw.

"That good?" The barista asked him, watching for his reaction. Hyunijn's eyes were intense on yours, like he wanted to eat you whole, as he answered the barista, "It's delicious. Worth the trip across the city."

You tried to maintain composure under his gaze. He was just another stranger in the coffee shop. And in this moment, it felt so special, holding on to this secret. Pretending not to know Hyunjin in public, knowing you'd get to have him all to yourself later, was the most fun you'd had in a while. 

From the smile on Hyunjin's face as he walked away, it looked like he felt the same.

»»————-

"Are you trying to kill me?" 

"What?" He laughed, on the other end of the line, "What ever do you mean?"

You mumbled into your phone, face red from your earlier interaction, "I mean, you can't just show up like that, looking like that, and expect me to keep to myself."

"Really? All I did was get a coffee, Y/N.” He replied. You mumbled, "You should go on those reality shows, the seduction ones. You're a natural at that stuff."

His laughter was loud and adorable, "So you're saying you wanted to jump my bones in the coffee shop."

"That's a very crass way of saying it." You stared at the canvases displayed, phone balanced between your ear and shoulder, "I just found a really big canvas. Perfect for my living room wall."

Hyunjin laughed on the other end, "What else are you getting at the store?"

"Way too much. They are having a sale, and…I can't resist." You spoke as you wandered the aisles. You gasped as your eyes fell on a shelf, "They have my favorite paintbrushes on sale."

"You're so cute. You know, they'll have more sales. You don't need to get everything right now."

"I kind of don't know restraint when it comes to this." You sighed, dropping the pack of paintbrushes into your basket. He hummed, "It's a good thing you know restraint when it comes to me."

"Oh, shut up." You rolled your eyes, "I shouldn't have said anything."

His voice dropped, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, it was really hard to stand so close to you and not kiss you. I'm sure everyone who works in that cafe has an insane crush on you.” You stopped in the middle of the aisle, feeling heated by his praise, "Yeah?"

"Yeah. If I was a barista there and saw you everyday… you with your pretty winter sweaters, your face when you concentrate, the look in your eyes when you taste good coffee…fuck. I'd think I was dreaming."

"I'm in public, you can't say these things to me."

"Did I say something wrong?" He asked. You shook your head, sighing, "No. You say everything right. That's the problem. And does your manager think you're high maintenance now since you insisted on going to this specific coffee shop?"

"Hey, I gotta live up to the celebrity image, sometimes" He laughed, "But no, he was more than okay with it because everybody on set got a longer lunch break."

"How convenient for them that you ran out to see me." You spoke, heading up to the self-checkout to ring up your items. He nodded, sounding a little out of breath, "I'm almost to the dance studio now. I'll call you later? Don't start on the big canvas without me." He added, and then after a pause, "God. It's insane how much I like you."

"It's almost like you have a crush on me." You smiled, "Have a great practice, baby."

"Yeah. Almost." You could feel his smile through the phone.

Like always, he sent you videos from the practice room. He was choreographing a new song. You watched the videos on the subway home, phone held away from prying eyes, eyes wide in awe of how gracefully he moved. You were smiling silly, and you had to bite the front of your hoodie to not react crazy while watching him on your little screen. There was a butterfly farm in your stomach, and your cheeks hurt from smiling. You were so lovesick that it felt like an actual fever running through you. 

The woman across you on the subway was staring at you with a poignant look. Could she see how crazy in love you were? People always say you’re a changed person in love. They're right. 

You’ve found a newfound love for life. Everything’s romantic and things that seemed to be completely falling apart at the seams cease to exist. Perhaps it was juvenile to be so taken by one person that your life revolved around him. But giving in to your urges, after holding back for so long felt like the greatest thing in the world.

»»————-

When you got home, there was a flyer slipped under your apartment door. It was for a new neighborhood Thai restaurant. "They got you too, huh?" A familiar voice spoke. You turned to see your neighbor, Jeongin, smiling at you, holding his copy of the flyer up. 

"The prices seem way too good to be true." You laughed. He nodded, staring at the paper flyer, "Gotta appreciate the tackiness of this."

"How are you?" You asked him, leaning against your door, key still halfway in the lock. He shrugged, shaking the snow out of his cap, "What can I say? Work's the same. I'm looking forward to the holiday season and…I'm happy you chose to stay. You're kind of the best neighbour I've had."

"I haven't even done anything." You laughed. He pointed at you, "Precisely. It's hard to get the quiet, kind ones here."

You smiled, "Yeah. I'm happy I chose to stay too. Sorry that I made you carry all my suitcases down the stairs that night…I was having a crisis and thought going home would solve all my problems."

He held his hands up, "Hey, I'm just glad I didn't have to bring them back up. Your friend did the hard work."

You nodded, smile growing at the thought of Hyunjin, "Yeah." You tried to not let it distract you, as thoughts of him so often did. "Did you already eat dinner?"Jeongin shook his head, thumbing the advertisement flyer in his hand, "Nope. Are you in the mood for some Thai?"

You laughed. In this perpetual happiness, you'd say yes to everything. 

»»————-

Today, you were running to catch the last ferry home. Minnie’s bag swung wildly behind her as she ran down the pier, her laughter loud, while Jeonghan cursed under his breath trying to keep pace with the two of you.  You had reached out to them a few weeks ago. Just because you didn’t go to the Atelier classes anymore didn’t mean you couldn’t still have them in your life. Some days your schedules would all line up and you'd commute home on the Han River water taxis. They'd show you their artwork, you'd show them yours, complimenting and critiquing each other's works like it was your own little art club. It was a fun thing you looked forward to.

The last ferry left the dock at six pm every night, and if you missed it, you'd have a much longer, more boring commute home. The boat had started its low rumble, rope straining against the dock. You called out to the man in uniform, “Please wait!”

He sighed but held the line, foot tapping with impatience. You're sure it had something to do with the fact that they recognized you now. You were regulars on the ferries now too, and slowly you'd carved your space in this city. 

You jumped over the small gap between the dock and the boat, sneakers clattering against the metal ramp. Minnie ran in after you, and you glanced back to see Jeonghan running to catch up. At last, he made it onto the boat.

"I am never doing that again." He said, eyes narrowed on you. You were still catching your breath, trying not to laugh at how red his face was from all the exhilaration, "You're literally the reason we're late. If you hadn't stopped to pick up the bungeoppang—" The employee interrupted you, "Tickets?"

Minnie showed them your passes, as you made your way up the stairs to the top deck. The wind was unforgiving as you reached the open-air top deck, and you buttoned your coat up, hands freezing. You really needed to buy yourself some winter gloves. Despite the harsh weather, the view was beautiful as the sun set over the city. It didn't feel like you were on a cheap ferry at all, it might as well have been a yacht drifting through river Seine. The skyline stretched out in front of you, and you watched it, smiling, "Best seat in the house." 

"It's hard to keep up with you these days." Minnie teased, pinching your cheeks. "Ow." You squirmed, laughing, "Cold hands, Minnie. But maybe I'm just in a good mood, on account of it being such a perfect day and seeing your pretty face."

She laughed, "Your energy is infectious, baby."

You leaned far over the railing, watching the water hit the boat. "Careful, you'll go over." Jeonghan spoke, hands hovering over your waist to hold you back. You pulled yourself back, smiling at him, "How was class today, by the way?"

"It was good." He shrugged, leaning against it too, "We all miss you though. Nobody really knows why you left."

"I miss you guys too. I do not miss Jieong. And I hope you guys maintain the mystery of my departure. I can finally feel like an enigma."

"Yeah. But it seems like you've only grown after you left. All the art you've shown us in the past few weeks has been amazing. It's nice to see this side of you. Playful, happy…kind of insane." He spoke.

"Sorry, what was that last one?" You narrowed your eyes, pushing your hair out of your eyes. He chuckled. "Whatever spell's been cast on you lately, it's working."

Your smile was restrained, coy and you looked back out at the water. From here, you could see the tall Pegasus tower, where he worked. It was all glass and gorgeous. You wonder if he was in there right now, working on something amazing. Even if you couldn't share more about Hyunjin with your friends, they saw your happiness and through it, they saw him. You finally settled on the plastic seats as you talked. "You know, I saw your file in Jieong's office after you left." Jeonghan brought up. You were biting into a bungeeopang, eyebrows raised, "Oh. And?"

"And…I don't know if you were ever gonna mention this to us, but isn't it someone's birthday soon?" He asked, tilting his head as if it was some kind of conspiracy. Your eyes widened, the red bean paste sticking to your lips and you licked it off, "I guess it is."

"So what, are we not invited to the party?" Minnie pouted. You smiled, finishing the snack, "Guys, no. I'm not even having a party."

"What? Why?" She gasped, "It's…your fucking birthday. You need to celebrate."

"It just seems like a lot of effort to expect all my friends to show up, and…I don't even know what I would do." You explained. Jeonghan didn't look happy with your answer, still frowning, "It's not effort. We're your friends. Did you even tell anybody it's your birthday?"

You laughed, "No. How does that even naturally come up into conversation? I mean, my friends from back home know. Yeonjun knows, but… it doesn't matter."

Minnie and Jeonghan exchanged glances as if they needed to do something about it. You shifted closer, "Guys, please don't worry about it. The last party I had was probably when I was ten years old. I'm really okay with not making a big deal of it."

Back home, the tradition was that your friends would take you to the diner for pancakes and milkshakes, and then to the movies as Yongbok insisted. It was always like that. No fanfare, no fancy dinner, no big crowds. You'd never tried something bigger, and you don't even know if you'd like it. 

"But…are you sure?" Minnie looked disappointed. You reached out to her, squeezing her hand, "I'm very sure, Minnie. It's really not that important."

They seemed disappointed with your answer. 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket twice, and you knew that it was him. You snuck a glance at your texts as Minnie and Jeonghan talked amongst each other.

y/n im rehearsing all day tomorrow for this award show

You started to type in a reply, and then came in two more texts.

could you meet me outside this studio 5 am tomorrow? i know it's last minute but it's one of the few times i'll be by myself

You typed in a quick reply, phone balanced on your thigh. ill be there.

"Is this a good time to bring up that I gave your number to Karina?"

You blinked, looking up at Jeonghan, “Karina?”

“Yeah. The Karina.” He shot you a glance, “The class visited her gallery again. She asked about you.”

You lowered the snack, skeptical. “She asked about me? Why?”

He turned to you, still casually biting into his pastry, “Well…Professor Jieong must’ve mentioned you at some point. She said she’d seen your work. She was curious why you weren’t around anymore.”

Your stomach flipped. Karina was a big-time gallery curator, the kind of person who could make or break artists. You couldn’t imagine what she’d want with you.

“Anyway,” He added casually, “she said she’d reach out. Don’t freak out when she does. She’s cool.”

You nodded, but your mind was already racing with what this could mean for you.

»»————-

The pinned location Hyunjin sent you was an old ballet studio. 

The sun wasn't up yet and the temperature was in the negatives. Yet, you carried two iced coffees in your hand, messenger bag swinging by your side as you walked in. Immediately, you were greeted by the warmth of the heater and a musty but comforting smell. The dance studio seemed old, but still charming. There was no one at the front desk, so you walked right past it. 

You knocked lightly at the door, then sharper a second time, the rapping sound muffled by your new gloves. You waited a moment, music was playing inside and you're sure he couldn't hear you. So you pushed open the door, tentatively walking in.

The first thing you saw was yourself in the mirror. Drowning in your sweatpants, sneakers squeaking against the floor. You looked like you'd just woken up, which was true. The room was covered in mirrors on all sides. Hyunjin sat in the corner, a baseball cap tugged low over his head as he stretched, legs spread out in front of him, head bent low over his body. 

He hadn't seen you come in. The music was loud enough to drown out all sounds. He did another stretch, eyes closed as he stood up, lifting his arms above his head, warming up. You didn't want to startle him, so you leaned against a table as you waited for him to finish.

Even when he stretched so simply, his body line was so disciplined. You'd always thought that the way he carried himself was artistic, like a lithe dancer, limbs loose and in control. You wish you had a sketchbook, so you could commit this to memory. Of course this was the one time you didn't carry it with you. As soon as the song ended, Hyunjin turned around. He flinched, eyes widening, "Shit. You…you scared me."

"I was trying really hard not to." You apologised, a smile forming on your face. His hand came up to his chest, catching his breath, "How long have you been in here?" 

"A couple of minutes." You said, holding up his coffee cup, "I brought you breakfast. I wasn't sure if you ate yet. I found this cafe, and they have these special pastries with bubblegum candy in the middle. Can you believe that?"

His eyes fell to the coffee and pastry as he walked over to you, "Why are you perfect."

You laughed, holding your gloved hands up, "A little help?"

"Of course. You finally bought gloves." He met you halfway, grabbing your hands delicately. He then guide your wrist to his mouth, tugging your woolen mitten off with his teeth. Your eyes met his, a quiet longing building up in you. He then switched hands, ripping off the right-hand glove with his teeth, "Better?"

"Much." You smiled, reaching up on your tiptoes to hug him. Your gloves lay abandoned on the floor. His hoodie was damp, soaked with sweat but he still smelled fresh, a mix of cologne and shampoo. You sank into the hug, arms snaking around his waist, "You're so warm and cosy."

"I know. I've been dancing for a while." He pulled back, "Thanks for coming here so early."

"Of course. I'll take any chance I can get to see you." You smiled. He held his hands up, gesturing around him, "Welcome to the studio. Usually we rehearse at the company building, but when it's just me, I rent out this place."

So this was where he spent his life, training, rehearsing on repeat. You could feel the sweat and hard work radiating off the walls. You loved how casual this felt, like you and him could just spontaneously make plans like so at the drop of a hat, like you didn't need to dodge a hundred things to see each other. You crossed your arms, "It's really cute."

"It's one of my favorite studios in the city, although the acoustics are really bad and…" He pointed at a wooden panel with his sneakers, "The floor's literally falling apart but I've been coming here since I was fifteen…"

"Wow. You're loyal." You smiled. He then said, "I try. I'm going to make a donation here for Christmas so they can finally fix their studio. But today…I'm teaching a class."

"Wait, seriously?" You turned to look at him. He nodded, "There's a new class of trainees. Some boys that are interested in becoming idols. They're as young as thirteen, the oldest is sixteen, and I'm supposed to be teaching them a class today. I'm… nervous. It's going to be a lot of attention on me."

Your heart swelled at the idea of it, "That sounds amazing. They must look up to you a lot, Hyunjin."

He shrugged, running a hand through his wispy hair, "I hope so. Come on, I'll show you my playlist." 

You walked over to where his laptop rested. He squeezed in behind you, watching the screen over your shoulder. He scrolled through a playlist, long fingers on the trackpad, "This is usually what I warm up to. Sometimes I freestyle to get in the mood."

The playlist was a mix of old-school rock and R&B. You could feel the warmth radiating off him, his arms around you as he navigated the laptop. There was certainly a more comfortable way to do this, but of course, you and Hyunjin were pressed up to each other in a room this big. He opened a video file, "And this is what I'm teaching them today."

You watched the video, your eyes fixed on Hyunjin in it. Some of his managers were visible in the background. Their faces were pixelated but you pointed, "Who's that?"

"That's Eunwoo. He's the one who convinced the big bosses to let me go back home. Although…it was hard to convince him too." He explained, voice soft. There was another man circling around Hyunjin, doing the same movements as him, "And him?"

"That's the choreographer. He flew in from Germany to help me out with this song.” He told you. You wonder why you were standing watching a video of Hyunjin when the real thing was right here. Maybe he didn't feel comfortable enough performing in front of you, but you voiced your thought anyway, a whisper, "Can I watch you?"

Hyunjin chuckled, "I knew you'd ask me that."

You turned around, looking up at him, "Well, of course I would. Ever since I found out you were a dancer, from that night at the bowling alley, it's all I yearn for." He chuckled at your words. You narrowed your eyes, teasing, "Isn't that why I'm here?"

His eyes searched your face, amused and fond, fingers absentmindedly touching the gold hoops in your ears, "Actually. You're here because I need you to film me."

"What?"

"Yeah. I'm rehearsing for a performance at this award ceremony. I was thinking I could just use that practice to warm myself up before the trainees arrive."

"Do you want it filmed a certain way or…?" You asked. He shook his head, "No, it's really simple. I'm going to be moving around a bit so I couldn't put my phone on a tripod. Usually a manager helps me but I—"

"But you needed an excuse to see me." You finished his sentence. He smiled wide, his eyes crinkling, "Mmh. I did."

He walked back to the center, "I'm gonna mark it first."

"What does that mean?" You laughed.

"Just gonna go over it in my head. So, don't watch yet. Look at your phone or something." He seemed embarrassed. It was adorable. "Fine" You laughed. He had headphones slung around his neck, and you sat down, biting into the pastry you'd brought. Every so often, you did glance up. He was marking steps, half-speed, committing them to muscle memory. He counted under his breath, lips moving silently as his body fell into rhythm only he could hear.

His hoodie soon came off, thrown carelessly to the side. It was getting hotter in the studio. His shirt clung to his back, the waistband of his underwear visible under his sweats. He caught you looking once, and smiled breathlessly before running the same sequence again.

You wish you had your things so you could draw him, the lines of his shoulder, the way his hair flew around him, the perfect silhouette of his body. There was something about the way he moved. It was the greatest art you'd laid your eyes on. Eventually, he stilled, eyes flicking to you, "I'm ready for you."

You grinned, chewing on the bubblegum, "Oh, are you?"

He tied his hair up quickly, tugging the strands back into a messy knot, "Can you loop the song in case I mess up? And…don't judge yet. It's not perfect."

Did he not know that everything he did was perfect? He could stand still for an hour, and you'd find a way to admire him. 

You pressed play on the laptop, and the room filled with the slow opening notes of the song, Father Figure by George Michael. It was low and haunting at first. Hyunjin was in the center, his back to you, shoulders rising and falling as he drew in a breath. You walked over to him, holding his phone in your hands, beginning to film.

You were suddenly nervous to see this side of him. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears.

Then he moved. It was small, the roll of his shoulders, the tilt of his head. But every movement was so precise… like he was flicking strokes of a brush onto a canvas, but with his body. His body moved too slow, too controlled, like there were strings tied to him and every muscle and bone was its prey.

You didn't want to even blink, lest you miss a second of it. And his face…every flicker of his eyes was purposeful, as if he was even breathing to the beat of the song. 

By the time the chorus hit, you felt breathless, watching his body live the song. It was magnetic. His hair had slowly come undone from the pony he'd put it up in, flying around him. He was pulling you in deeper with every move, and it must be a sin that you went this long without seeing this side of him. It must be a sin that a creature this perfect existed amongst you. A sin that you couldn't have him to yourself every hour of the day. 

You suddenly felt a wave of possessiveness, selfishness, to have him all to you. It was unfair that other people got to see this side of him. His confidence grew the longer you watched him. His hooded eyes were on you, then he looked at himself in the mirror. Then back at you. It was obvious he was feeling himself.

The song was over before you could process what you were watching. As soon as it ended, you wished you could watch it again, for the first time. The final note hit, and he stopped, his breaths loud in the quiet room. The music faded out. 

So this must be a new form of hypnosis. 

You hope you had recorded everything the way he wanted. You hope you hadn't been reeled in and left stranded in your hopeful desire for him. 

Hyunjin's eyes met yours, his hands on his hips, sweat dripping down his jaw. His hair was plastered to his temples. He said nothing. You watched each other. Your legs felt weak, even though he's the one who just performed. You pressed stop on the recording.

"Oh…" You searched for the right words, and your mouth felt dry, "That was incredible. You were incredible."

"Really?" His voice was tentative as if he could ever be something else. The word incredible was made for him. You stared at him, "Really. I'm sorry I don't have more words, I'm still thinking about what just happened."

You wish you could learn more languages so you could tell him how perfect he just was in every one. You'd learn every language in the world if that's what it took to convince him.

He let out a shaky laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. He was so shy, so humble, so nonchalant in his greatness. Unassuming of his beauty. He cleared his throat, "Did it look all right on video?"

"I think I got a good video, yeah, I'm sure I did. Hyunjin, that's probably the best thing my eyes have ever seen. The rest of the world will be very disappointing now compared." You held the phone back to him, showing him how he looked. He watched it quietly and you knew he was probably picking apart his mistakes in his head.

"Do you like it?" You asked, glancing up at him. His smile was small, "The video is perfect. Me…not so much. I messed up a few times. God, I really don't know why they asked me to teach these boys. Maybe they should've just had the dance instructor here doing this."

You brushed back the damp hair from his temple, moving his bangs out of his eyes, "I'm sure he's amazing. But they're not here to see some dude from Germany. They're here for you. You're their idol."

His eyes settled on you, "Yeah, you're right."

"You were amazing." You reassured him. His features twisted into a smile, lips parting, "That means a lot coming from you. You know I value your opinion on pretty much everything."

Your chest tightened. “I know—" Then he kissed you. You were learning that he loved to catch you off guard in these moments, like he was so overtaken by his urge that he sometimes couldn't even wait for you to finish your sentence. He was still dripping with sweat, but you didn’t care. "And…thank you for being here, and for filming me…" He murmured against your mouth, "Did I mention how much I missed you?"

"Maybe you should say it again."

His tone dropped, "I could write a song about it."

"Yeah?" Your voice came out squeaky, shaky. All your confidence reduced to nothing before his flirting. He nodded, pushing you to the mirrored wall and you let him, "Yes. I like seeing you in the morning." His hands dropped to your sweatshirt, "I like that you brought me coffee, and I like that you compromised on your sleep for me, and came here so early."

You blinked up at him, eyes wide, a deer in headlights at the man before you, "I'd compromise anything for you."

"Anything?" He tilt his head. 

"Everything." It came out a whisper, as he leaned in, meeting your mouth with his. You tilt your head up, neck craning to kiss him as he towered over you. His lips were so soft. They were so wet. Or maybe yours were. In moments like this, you couldn't tell where you ended and he began. Slippery, sloppy, wet kisses, where his mouth would trail off to your jaw, slipping to the edge of your mouth because there was too much emotion and heat and no control.

Your neck hurt, from the angle, from kissing him this intense. Like he could feel your pain, his hand shifted to the nape of your neck, cushioning it against the mirror, angling it so he could kiss you deeper. His hands were all over, settling on your waist. You were on your tiptoes again. You stood there, pushed up to the wall by his body, making out like animals in heat.

Your gum was in his mouth now. He didn't care. It was so hot. 

"Strawberry." He pulled back, face still inches from yours, commenting on the flavor of your gum.

"You like it?” You asked. His head sank into your neck, kissing you there, sucking on your skin. You closed your eyes, relishing in his kisses. He mumbled against your skin, "Is that even a question? It tastes like you. I love it."

Your fingers hovered over his mouth, pulling it open. You kissed him, pushing your tongue in his mouth, tasting him, "God, but it tastes so much better in you." 

You felt crazy. Everything was better with his taste in it. How could you ever enjoy gum again, if not like this? He chuckled, pulling your body flush to his, "Yeah?"

"You know everyone says I'm different now. " You whispered, blinking up at him. He tilt his head, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, all my friends. Yeonjun, Minnie, Nate…even my neighbour, they said something's changed."

"Really?" His smile grew, and he pushed some of his hair back, "Actually… the boys have been the same. They've been bugging me nonstop, asking me why I've been so giddy all the time and not nearly as annoyed at them as I used to be. Even Eunwoo's noticed my mood lately..."

"I wish…we could talk to them about us.” You smiled, playing with the strings of his hoodie. He dropped his head to yours, forehead touching, nose resting against yours, "I know. I've been thinking about it, if we should tell them, or Chan at least."

"Are you serious?” You blinked, tugging at his hoodie. He nodded, "I think he'd really understand."

"I would love to tell Kairi. I…wanna talk about you all the time. It's hard to keep it to myself." You said. He tilt his head, "Yeah? What would you tell her about me?"

"Just…girl talk. How crazy you drive me. How thoughtful you are. How good you kiss.” You sang. He smiled, "I don't think she'd want to hear any of that, I'm like a little brother to her."

You laughed, "Stop. Then am I supposed to keep all these thoughts to myself?"

"No. No. Tell me. I don't qualify for girl talk?"

"Well. You kinda don't meet the only parameter." You mumbled. He pouted. You smiled, "But maybe I could make an exception for you."

He tilt his head. "Yeah? What would you tell me?"

You twirled the strings of his hoodie in your fingers, "I'd tell you how—" You were interrupted by the buzzing of his phone alarm. He jumped, startled, dropping his head, "Shit. Class is starting soon."

You regained your voice, eyes searching his, "I should be leaving you now then." He nodded, pressing his mouth to yours again, "I'm sorry to cut this short. I'll see you later, okay? Thanks for the best morning ever."

You had a feeling the rest of your day was going to be very unproductive as you replayed this moment in your head. You measured life differently now: not in hours, but in moments with him. Everything else was background noise. 

You gathered your things, and Hyunjin draped your coat over you, helping you thread your arms through it. He then put on your gloves for you, slipping them over each hand delicately like it was the most important task in the world, despite your rush. You could do it yourself, but you liked when he did it. You liked being taken care of. You never had before, not like this. Never like this. He kissed you, a peck on the lips, a casual and domestic kiss and you were just lovers departing for the day, and the feeling in your chest was hard to replace. 

You walked out, bag tugged on your shoulder and in your hurry, you'd forgotten your cup of coffee inside. Before you could turn back, you saw a group of teenagers walking towards the studio. They were all so young, buzzing amongst themselves with the energy of a morning field trip. You smiled to yourself as you made your way to the bus stop. 

The wind was chilly on your ears and cheeks, snapping you out of your reverie. The sun was starting to rise over the horizon, casting a beautiful glow over the otherwise empty street. 

"Are you here for the dance lesson?" Someone asked. You glanced up, expecting to see a teenage boy, but an older man stood there. His cologne flooded your senses. It smelled rich. He was dressed in a three-piece suit. 

You wonder how you hadn't noticed him walk over to you. Your eyes trailed over him. He didn't look older than forty, but his voice commanded so much authority, like he had tens of years of experience. 

"Um. No...I'm just waiting for a bus." You replied. His eyes lingered on you for a second, and you turned back to your phone to check the bus schedule until he spoke again, "You're not a dancer?"

You laughed, "No, sir. I couldn't dance to save my life. Why do you ask?"

His brows rose in mild surprise at your laugh, and he smiled. It was a kind smile, "Just curious, you know, you're waiting outside a dance studio. Just a normal assumption to make." 

You turned to see the studio, and all the trainees still walking in, "Oh. I was just passing by. Seems popular though."

"Right. Right." He mumbled, "Such a shame."

You looked up at him, surprised, "Sorry?"

His eyes traveled over your face, over the sweatshirt that hung to your thighs, and then back up to your eyes, "You would have made for a pretty dancer."

Before you could think of a reply, the bus arrived. 

»»————-

Everything was romantic. 

Seoul was ready for Christmas soon, all the streets were dressed up in lights and there were cute snowmen made by school children on every street corner.

The art shop near your apartment was busy even at this hour. Unlike home, there was no shortage of love for art or creativity here. You made your way through the aisles, art supplies in hand, carefully avoiding bumping into anybody. It was the holiday season and this place was at its busiest. It warmed your heart to see people browse through the shelves, and it piqued your curiosity to see the things people had gathered in their baskets and carts. The checkout line was long, and you waited, hopping on the balls of your feet. A little girl in front of you was gaping up at you, eyes wide. You smiled at her, "Hey."

"Where'd you get that?" She pointed to the glitter tube in your hands. "Oh. You can just have mine." You handed it to her, "I'll buy it for you."

"Oh, you don't have to do that." Another voice interrupted and you looked up to a younger woman grabbing onto her hand, "Alex is very used to getting what she wants."

"Good to start young." You joked, and the woman laughed. She observed the stuff in your hand, "Looks like you have a fun night ahead of you."

You smiled, "Yup. Prepping for date night."

"Oh? You're quite lucky. I wish my girlfriend liked painting, but I guess my little sister likes to do it." She said, tugging at Alex's hand. You smiled as you moved up in the line. She turned back to you, "Are you an artist in residency?"

"Oh, I um…was. I used to be a student at the Atelier. Do you know of it?” You asked her. Recognition settled in her eyes and she said, "The Atelier? So you know Kim Jieong?"

His name sent a sharp feeling through your gut, but you nodded, "Yep. I had classes with him. I don't go there anymore though."

"He can be a bit of a prick."

"Prick." Her little sister repeated. You were surprised, "I'm sorry, how did you say you know him?"

"I was a student of his way back in the day. Maybe he mentioned me? I'm Karina." She extended her hand to you.

You blinked at her, shaking it back. So she was Karina. The owner of almost every art gallery in the country. The prodigy Hyunjin had told you about. You had never met her though, but you'd heard so much of her. You bit your tongue, "I've heard about you. My friend Jeonghan, or um, Nate as he likes to be called, said you talked to him. He's also in Jieong's class."

Realisation settled into her features, "You must be Y/N. I've seen your work; Jieong mentioned it when your class visited us. You have a really good eye for art. This is crazy…I've been meaning to reach out to you, but I had to babysit Alex this past week and things with the gallery got crazy."

"Oh, uh that's completely fine. Why did you want to reach out to me?" You moved ahead in the line, almost near the cashier now. Karina glanced back at you, "I was curious if you've ever worked with other artists before, different from the Atelier?"

"Um, yeah. Back home, I used to help my friend Seungmin out with art classes for tourists at this place called the Chateau, where we did events. I'm from a small town near the hills. A very touristy place and uh, that's not relevant. I…I kind of learned by watching him."

"Wow. That sounds nice. I'd love to visit there someday. What are you doing these days, if you don't mind me asking? You just mentioned you're not working with Jieong anymore."

Wasn't that the question of the century? "Just…been trying my hand at a bunch of things, trying to figure out where I fit."

"Well, this feels serendipitous. After Nate mentioned you, I've been meaning to call you. I've been looking for someone… to help me with the exhibitions and galleries. An assistant curator of sorts."

Your eyes widened, "Oh."

"Do you think you'd be interested in something like that?" She asked, so casually, in the checkout line. You didn't know what to say, “Oh…Thank you for thinking of me, but I…I don't think I'm qualified. I didn't go to university for art. I'm self-taught."

"You don't really need to be. I honestly just need someone who can stand being around paintings and pretentious artists all day without getting bored by it. It also helps if you're organised and know your way around art supplies, but…does that sound like you?"

"It...does actually.” You said. She smiled, "Well, I'll email you then. Please let me know if you're interested. That is so crazy that I ran into you just now."

"Yeah." A chuckle of disbelief. After you checked out, you handed Alex the glitter tube you'd bought. She was all smiles. Karina smiled at you at that. 

It felt serendipitous indeed as you watched her leave. You called Hyunjin on your walk home, choosing to walk instead of taking the subway so you could still talk to him over the phone, "You're not gonna believe who I just ran into. Oh, wait. First things first, how did your classes go?"

"They were good! The kids were so nice. They're all so insanely talented. They were excited to meet me. I… actually felt kind of bad." He said. You frowned, "Why?" 

He sighed, "They're just… so young. They have their whole lives ahead of them…and the only thing they want is to become stars? I kind of remember what it was like being that age. I'd give up anything for an opportunity but I almost wanted to tell them that being famous isn't all it's built up to be."

"But Hyunjin…" You trailed off. He added, "Don't get me wrong. I'm so grateful for my work but I'm lucky to work with my best friends. I wouldn't want to be alone in the industry. But at least, Soohyun seemed really impressed with my performance today."

"Soohyun?"

"I think I mentioned him to you, he's…the big boss. We all work under him. He terrifies me. But he seemed surprisingly happy today."

"He was there today?" You stopped at an intersection, processing his words. Hyunjin said, "Yeah. He's only there for the show of it, so all the trainees can see his face. A PR thing, you know."

"I think I ran into him. At the bus stop outside.” You bit your lip. His tone changed instantly, "What? Did he say something to you?"

"Yeah but don't worry, I…didn't give anything away. He asked me if I was there for the dance class. He was probably just curious. It wasn't a big deal." You swallowed, staring at the traffic go by you in a blur. You could hear the frown in his voice, "He knows the class was only for male students."

"Oh." You mumbled, and your stomach dropped, "But…I didn't say anything to him. Just that I was waiting for the bus. Is this gonna be a problem? He doesn't know who I am, right?"

"No…it shouldn't." He said, but he sounded unsure. You swallowed, suddenly feeling you made a big mistake, "I should've left earlier. I cut it too close."

"No, don't apologise. This isn't your fault. If anything…it's mine. I'm the one who asked you to be there. Don't worry. He didn't say anything. So he probably doesn't know anything." 

"Yeah." Anxiety pooled in your stomach. It was your turn to cross the street but your legs felt unsteady. You leaned against a streetpole. You couldn't have fucked this up already. You'd only just started. You had your entire life left with him.

"Um, you said you had something to tell me. Who did you run into?" Hyunjin asked. You shook your head, "No, it's not important. I…I'm sorry about what happened with Soohyun. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Baby, don't worry about it. I'm sure it's fine. He has no idea who you are and he probably talked to you because he thought you were pretty. He can be like that with younger women."

You nodded, taking in a breath, "Right... "

He was quick to respond, "Y/N. Please stop. You're overthinkimg. You didn't fuck anything up. Trust me. Would it help you if I talked to Chan about this?"

"What? But I thought we can't tell him."

"I know that's what I said. But…if it'll make you feel better, Chan's the one person I trust to help me protect this. And Kairi's your friend. I know how much you wanted to share this with her. Maybe it's time they know. And then they can tell you themselves that it's no big deal, okay?"

“Really?" You asked. He said, "Really. We can tell them tomorrow. Please stop worrying about this. I can't let you do that cause of me."

"I know. I just felt…stupid. Like a dumb mistake like this could unravel everything. I'm not done with you.” You said. He laughed, "And you don't have to be. I promised you, didn't I? I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

You swallowed, "Yeah."

"And if hearing that from Chan will make you feel better, then we'll tell him. I can't handle you being stressed, not because of me."

"Okay. Tomorrow then. We tell them."

“Tomorrow."

»»————-

“There are so many people here,” you muttered under your breath. “It's the middle of the day on a Tuesday. Does nobody have a job?”

Kairi laughed, grabbing a ceramic bowl and placing it in her basket, "You're here too."

"Yeah, yeah." You sighed, "I'm here to give you company."

You'd decided to meet Kairi where you usually hung out, a vintage thrift store where she was shopping for holiday gifts. The store was huge and full of tacky home goods. Couples wandered the aisles hand-in-hand, picking out quirky vases and lamps. After your conversation with Hyunjin last night, you couldn't hold it in any longer. You were finally gonna confess to her. You'd been building up to it this whole time, making useless small talk about homegoods when really you just wanted to blurt it out.

"I thought you'd enjoy holiday shopping and picking out trinkets, you know being as artsy as you are. Yet, you've been on edge all morning." She said, giving you an incredulous look. She looked pretty today, like always. In a lavender cardigan and beanie, her kohl-lined eyes were focused on yours. You leaned against the shelf, careful not to knock over any ceramic, "Well, I wanted to tell you something."

She tilt her head, eyes still scanning the shelf for any hidden finds, "Tell me."

You looked around. The aisle was surprisingly empty, despite the store being crowded. You pushed your hands in your pockets, staring at your trainers. The words spilled out before you could second-guess yourself, "I'm just gonna get right to it because it's killing me. Something happened at your dinner party. Between me and Hyunjin."

Her brows lifted, her entire posture sharpening as she stepped closer to you. “You guys …slept together?"

"Uh, No. We…decided to give it a shot." You continued, "Me and him."

Her reaction was instant, her eyes went huge, and she whipped her head around instinctively to scan the store — even though you had just done that. No one was paying attention, but her voice still dropped to a sharp whisper. “Holy Shit. What? You're…saying that you're together? Like you're dating?" 

“Yeah. I suppose." You looked up at her, swallowing hard, "Your hands are shaking. Let me take that." You grabbed the ceramic plate from her hands, pressing your fingers into it as if it could absorb your nerves. 

"And you decided to tell me right now? In the middle of holiday shopping?" Her voice raised an octave. You squeezed your eyes shut, "I…I didn't wanna make it a big deal, because it's not."

"I really thought you were gonna tell me that you guys had sex. I was expecting that. But… I didn't expect this." She said. You blinked, "We…haven't yet."

"I'm just surprised." She added, "Does Chan know?"

"Hyunjin is telling him right now."

Understanding sank into her, "Is that why you came with me to the store and he insisted Chan on going to the botanical gardens with him? The double whammy."

You blinked, thrown. You hadn’t known that was the plan. Of course Hyunjin would choose something as absurdly romantic as a garden. “I did actually want to see you too.” you muttered. An amused smile curled at her lips, her eyes glinting. “Right.”

Your stomach tightened. “Are you upset at me? For not telling you?"

She leaned back, arms crossed loosely, as if weighing her words. Then she shook her head. “It's been weeks since my dinner. You guys hid it well. I’m impressed. That's why you were so happy when you guys came downstairs. Ugh, I feel embarrassed now becsuse all of us were pretty sure you guys were you know…doing it. I don't think any of us could have seen this coming.”

"Oh. Uh, why? Is it that hard to believe?" Your chest squeezed strangely. Her eyes widened, she shook her head, "No. It's just…Hyunjin was adamantly against this. I didn't expect him to change his mind."

"Me neither. It was honestly a surprise to me too.” You said. She frowned, "I hope you still had time to think through your decision before saying yes."

You swallowed, "I mean, there was no question about it for me."

Her head tilted, “What changed his mind? Is he telling Jisung and Changbin?"

"I think he's going to tell them soon. Their schedule has been so crazy with the awards and the fashion shows."

"So where do you two meet?" She asked, curious. You bit your lip, "Wherever we can. He picks me up in his car sometime. We talk a lot on the phone. We’re being really careful.”

"Have you seen him in public at all?" You started to answer, but she continued, "Because if you have, I hate to say it, but that’s not careful enough.”

You froze, surprised by the bluntness, "Um. We haven't really…" 

She reached ahead for your hand, speaking, "I didn't mean that in a negative way… I was just being candid. From my experience. It is hard when you start out. But it gets easier. You just have to keep reminding yourself what it’s worth…what you’re willing to give up.”

Your brows furrowed, her words gnawing at you as you thumbed the ceramic dish in your hands, “I guess I don’t see it as giving something up.” 

A small smile ghosted over her lips, though her gaze stayed serious. She wasn’t teasing you anymore, her eyes were kind. “Have you told any friends or family?”

You shook your head. “No, of course not.” For once, you felt proud, like maybe you’d finally given her the right answer.

“I think you should tell them.” Her reply came quick, almost too quick. Your smile faltered, “But…we’re supposed to keep it a secret.”

“Yeah, from the public. Not from your loved ones.” She leaned in, lowering her voice as if the customers in the store could hear, “God forbid something happens, if it ever leaks…you wouldn’t want them to find out from the news, right? It’s better if they hear it from you. And…you guys need to think of a contingency plan, in case things ever go south, to make sure you're safe and protected."

You didn't ever want to hear the words 'contigency plan' when talking about your boyfriend, but that's just how things were. Your chest tightened. What she said made sense, but you couldn't quite wrap your head around it. Sure, you could tell Yeonjun and your other friends, but that was only for the worst-case scenario. Right now, you liked the secret. It felt like something you could protect from the world. Kairi must have noticed how your expression dipped; her features softened immediately. “I didn’t mean to scare you. This is just…real life, you know?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit.” She pressed her palms to her cheeks. “What am I doing? I’m being a total bummer. Can we rewind?” She reached over, squeezing your shoulder. You cracked a faint smile, looking back up at her, “But I want to hear the real stuff, Kair”

“Okay, then the real stuff is this: I’m really really fucking happy for you, Y/N. I know how much you like him. I’m glad you two finally decided to sort things out and that you're no longer fighting. That was a really hard watch for me and Chris.”

“Thank you.” Warmth spread through your chest. Her smile was small, but steady. “It’s easy to get anxious about these things. But you can’t let that control you, okay?”

"Definitely." You smiled, putting the ceramic bowl back onto the shelf. Kairi clapped her hands together as if she’d discovered some newfound energy. “Alright. Guess we're gonna have to do some double dates now then, huh?”

»»————-

It was a regular Thursday night when your phone buzzed with a voice note. Hyunjin’s voice crackled through, low and playful, “I was thinking we could do something different today.”

You pressed play again, grinning at the sound of him and replied, "What did you have in mind?”

A pause, then another message from him. “I don’t know if you heard…but there’s supposed to be a meteor shower later tonight. We can’t see it from the city though. I was thinking we could drive up this hill nearby. Chan and Kairi are in for it too.”

Your heart tugged at the casual way he said it — like inviting you on such a plan, alongside his best friend and his girlfriend, was the most natural thing in the world. It'd been only a few days since you told them, and they'd taken it so well. It was nice to not be alone in it anymore.

“That…sounds amazing,” you smiled into your phone. It's not like you had anything else planned anyway. The forecast said it would snow into the early hours of the morning and you're not sure how Hyunjin planned to alter the weather for the meteor shower. But you trusted him. If anyone could pull something like that off, it'd be him.

He picked you up late, car waiting a street over from your apartment like usual. It was different than the one he'd picked you up from the last time. Dark blue in color, it looked right out of a luxury car commercial. 

“Is this another rental?” You asked, sitting inside.

"Yup." Instinctively, he reached over to pull your seatbelt over your body, clicking it into place. You smiled. You loved when he acted like that with you, like you were his to take care of. He then turned the heater up for you. 

"Hey." Chan spoke from the backseat, arm lazily draped around Kairi, "We find ourselves in a car together again. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

You looked back at them and how cosy they seemed. Chan was dressed in all black, and Kairi matched him as you said, "We last met at Kairi's dinner, didn't we?" 

"That we did. It's nice to see you again." He smiled, "When Hyunjin told me about the two of you, you know what I was thinking?"

"That it's a terrible idea?" You bit your lip. He laughed, "No. I was thinking 'finally.' This boy finally had the guts to tell me."

"So you knew?" You gasped. He smiled, "I guess, in a way. Hyunjin was suspiciously happy, and…I haven't seen him like that in a long time. He was also going on a lot of late night drives. He was suddenly not a pain in the ass anymore."

Hyunjin glanced at him in the rearview, eyes narrowed, "Hey, if you really knew, why didn't you ask me about it?"

"I was waiting for you to tell me. I'm not gonna pressure you. I'm a good guy like that, you know?” Chan shrugged. You smiled at him, "I'm glad you know. Also, I hear you've been writing the next pop hit."

Chan laughed, "Well, trying, trying. We'll see how the fans like it."

"They're obviously gonna love it." Kairi smiled. 

Once you were out of the city traffic, Hyunjin drove like he’d been waiting all week for this, one hand on the wheel, the other tapping along to the song blasting through the speakers. A French rock song came on, and Hyunjin turned the volume all the way up. There was a little dashboard where you could see the lyrics, almost like your own karoake room in the car. Kairi was trying to sing along, messing up most of the lyrics. 

“Those are not the words!” You said over the music, making Hyunjin laugh. His eyes crinkled, loud laughter echoing through the car. Chan said, "You know. Hyunjin told me the story. But I'm gonna have to hear it from you. Last I remember, you guys were yelling at each other. What changed?"

It was embarrassing now, how much you'd fought him, how much anger you'd held in yourself after he'd ghosted you. You swallowed, trying not to misspeak, trying to make this as simple as possible because things had once been so complicated, "I don't know. I was about to leave and go back home. He showed up at my doorstep trying to convince me to stay. I guess it worked."

Things were so simple now.

"Romantic. The result of watching all those holiday romance movies." Chan commented, "He can be really convincing like that."

Hyunjin laughed, "I…just didn't want her to leave. Even if she hated me. I know Seoul's the place for her."

You stared at him, smiling through his words, "You're right. I've been meaning to tell you. I…uh…also ran into Karina."

He glanced at you, "What?"

"And she asked me to work with her. Or…for her. As a curator of sorts for some art galleries…I'm not sure yet. We only had a casual conversation about it. I don't know if I'm gonna qualify for it."

"Holy shit no…that's amazing." Hyunjin said, his face lighting up, "You…you would be perfect at that. You were so great at the Chateau."

"Ah. Is this the Chateau I heard about all summer?" Chan asked. You nodded, "Yeah. I used to work there."

Hyunjin reached over, grabbing your hand, "Are you excited to work with her?"

You nodded, "I am, yeah. It'll be something new and different…and I'll be nice to get paid again and not eat out of my savings."

Chan and Kairi were talking again in the backseat as he explained to her who Karina was, but Hyunjin squeezed your hand, voice lowering, "I can't believe you didn't immediately tell me. I'm so proud of you. You know that, right?"

You flushed, "I didn't do anything yet."

"You're going to. You'll be great at it." He whispered, one hand lifting yours to press a kiss to it, other on the steering wheel. The tenderness of the gesture melted you. He was proud of you, and you hadn't even done anything yet. 

I love you. You wanted to tell him. I love you more than anything. There were so many instances you almost slipped up and said it. But there was a time and place for it, and maybe the first time you say it to him should be special, and it should just be the two of you and not when you were fighting to be heard over French rock, but you figure he must already knew how much you loved him. Wasn't it obvious to everyone in the world? You bit your tongue and smiled, "Thank you. I'm proud of you too." 

Another rock song queued up, louder, messier. Hyunjin cranked the volume higher and leaned into it, mouthing all the words. You watched him in awe. Of course he knew French. It's not like he was already the sexiest version of himself he could be. He was singing along, but mostly laughing at his friends attempts in the backseat. Kairi was yelling the lyrics, a mumble of French and Korean.

"What does this song even mean?" You laughed, trying to look up the lyrics. Hyunjin looked at you, and you were surprised he heard you over the loud music, "It means…everything is working out for me."

You smiled, cheeks hurting from the frequency of your smiles, "I like the sound of that." 

Hyunjin drove fast, and the further up the hill he drove, the windier it seemed to get outside and you peered out your window. “We’re almost here!” Hyunjin announced over the music, rolling his window down just a tad. A rush of icy wind tore through the car, and snow scattered across your lap. You laughed as it melted instantly against the heat inside, dampening your thighs.

“Are we even gonna be able to see the meteors?” Chan asked, craning his neck toward the windshield. “The snow is relentless.”

Hyunjin just nodded, unbothered, his eyes on the road. “It’s supposed to stop in ten minutes.”

“Okaay,” you said, half-laughing, “I don't know how we're getting out to watch the shower. It's fucking freezing outside!”

The car came to a stop. Hyunjin glanced at them in the rearview mirror, then at you.“We’re not getting out,” he said simply.

You blinked at him, confused. “What?”

He was grinning now, a boyish smile tugging at his lips. “Okay… this better work.”

And then he pressed a button.

There was a mechanical whir, low at first, then louder, followed by a rush of cold air as the roof began to retract. Snowflakes swirled into the car like confetti, the night sky opening above you inch by inch. For a second, nobody spoke. The car filled with the sound of wind and your own startled laughter as you realized what was happening. “There’s actually no fucking way.” Chan exclaimed.

“You rented a fucking convertible?” You gasped, raising your voice to be heard over the wind. Hyunjin let out a giggle, smiling at you, eyes nervous, “You like it? They said I could rent any car and I just thought….why the hell not?”

"This is insane." Kairi laughed. So this was why he'd asked you to bundle up warm tonight.

“Are you kidding? This is perfect.” You reached over the armrest, unable to stop yourself. Hyunjin was laughing, hair whipping in the fast wind, dimples flashing and then you were kissing him, your hand fisted in the back of his neck to pull him to you. Too much force. Too much emotion but he melted into it immediately. His palm warm against your cheek, holding you steady as the cold air whipped around you. It was a scene from a film. Snowflakes fell into your hair, melting down your collar, but the car’s heat and your lover's lips kept you warm.

You barely remembered Chan and Kairi were there until Kairi’s giggles floated up from the backseat, half-drowned out by the music. That alone made you pull away, breathless, biting your lip. You'd never felt this desire to him as strong as now. Every time you thought you'd reached your peak, he did somethimg else and it got stronger everyday. Was this what it would be like to be in love for the rest of your life? Your frame of reference of happiness had changed. It was all his doing. A wave of lust and love overcame you as you spoke to him, “You’re so fucking unbelievable.”

Even as you were living it, you already knew it would be one of those memories you’d replay forever, your cheeks aching as you felt the cold snow on your face. Hyunjin smiled, eyes bright as he tilted his chin toward the sky. “See? I told you the snow would stop.”

And he was right. The cloud cover was breaking. You tilt your head back for a better view, your chest full with a happiness so sharp it hurt.

“Any minute now,” Chan mumbled. The car was still blasting rock. A playlist of Hyunjin's you’d never heard till now, a new side to him. The head-bopping, French-singing side. You reached into your bag for your camera, fingers fumbling through it. Before you could raise it, Hyunjin’s hand found your thigh, grounding you, tugging you closer, getting your attention.

“Y/N,” he murmured. You looked up. just in time to see a streak rip across the sky. “Fuck.” Your breath caught in your throat. Another meteor followed, and another, each brighter than the last.

“That’s beautiful,” Chan said softly. You glanced at Hyunjin, as if asking for permission and he nodded, like he could read your mind so well. He knew you so well. No one in the world knew you like he did. 

You stood up inside the car as you were, hands resting on the windsheld for balance. Hyunjin steadied you with your hands on your waist. From here, you could see it so clearly. Streaks of stars across the sky, zipping fast so beautifully. You could never recreate this feeling again, but you'd damn sure try. You were blessed to be an artist after all.

You watched the sky in silence. It reminded you of being on top of the Chateau with Hyunjin, when he showed you all the stars and the lights.

“What do you think?” Hyunjin asked, his voice quiet, like he didn’t want to break the spell. You looked back down at him. His face was tilted up toward you, eyes wide, pupils blown, like he was starstruck too. In the irises of his eyes, you could see the reflection of the sky, and of the burning meteors. And in that moment, you loved him more than you’d ever thought possible. It was an impossible feeling, bursting to be let out of your chest.

You immediately bent toward him, acting on instinct and no thought. I love you. I'm so lucky to love you. He met you halfway, neck craned up, hand on your waist as you stood in the car and he sat in it and you kissed each other halfway.

You couldn’t believe this was your life. That he was real. That this boy who used to feel like a faraway teenage dream to you, was now kissing you under a meteor shower.

Hyunjin deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth and you were missing the rest of the meteor shower. You didn't care because there was a cosmic event everytime you two kissed. Your body felt like it was on fire, the cold wind on your cheeks, in your hair, his hands grounding you in place. If you let your inhibitions take over you, you'd strip off the fabric between you right this second so you could feel him in you. 

You’d never felt as alive as you did right now. You pulled back to breathe, head falling up to the sky again as streaks of meteors followed. You didn’t know how long they would last so you watched in urgent awe.

“Give me your camera,” Hyunjin mumbled, still breathless. You handed it over, and he leaned back in his seat, snapping pictures to capture the moment before it was over.

When the rush finally calmed, you sat down again, sinking into your seat, eyes on the sky. After a few moments, Hyunjin stretched out across the seat and you lay across him, head resting on his chest. Your feet rest on the window. This way, you had a perfect view of the sky and of him. It was so beautiful.

Chan and Kairi slipped out of the car, crunching through the snow so he could take pictures of her against the view. Their voices drifted back to you in fragments. Kairi was giggling, “They’re so obvious.”

“You think they’ve said it yet?” Chan’s whisper carried, low but clear enough to set your heart racing. The rest broke off with the wind. You leaned forward, straining, but they’d turned away, words swallowed by the night. “You cold?” Hyunjin asked, distracting you from dissecting Chan’s words, and you looked back up at him. Even from this angle, he looked perfect, like his face was assembled by the gods, structured perfectly. You shook your head, “No, I’m great.”

He smiled, eyes flickering over your body, “You have goosebumps.”

“Probably because you’re so close to me.” You whispered. He rubbed his hands over your arms, “We should probably close the top.”

“Noo. It's fine.” You didn’t want the moment to end. He sighed, “I don’t want you to get sick.” 

He was probably right. You sat up, twisted to face him, “You’re sweet.”

“Okay. Just a few minutes longer.” He smiled. You sat back, enjoying this while it lasted. The meteors were less frequent now, but still prominent through the wispy clouds. Hyunjin held you close, hand holding yours, enjoying the sight. When you looked out, Chan and Kairi were sharing a kiss of their own, quiet and tender in the snow. Hyunjin was watching them too. You squeezed his hand, pulling his gaze back to you. “The last time you brought me out to stargaze, you were telling me about them. Do you remember?”

His lips curved. “Of course I remember. The night I kissed you for the first time.”

“After you spent the whole night insisting we were just friends to anybody who would listen.”

“I know.” He chuckled, leaning in. “I remember.”

You smiled at him. You’d come so far from then. The emotions overcame you, and you sat up, kissing him again. Hyunjin grabbed your thigh, kissing you back, mumbling, “You’re happy tonight.”

“Of course I am.” You mumbled between pecks. Because I love you. Because I'm gonna love you for the rest of my happy, perfect life. He pulled you to him, and your body was half on his, half on the armrest.

“Okay! We ready to be warm again?” Chan interrupted, poking his head through the window. Hyunjin only laughed, refusing to break the kiss as he reached blindly for the button. The roof started slowly closing up on you.

Chan watched you two, "Actually, I feel bad breaking up your moment. Since you were so nice to drive us here, let me drive us back."

"Chan, you don't have to—"

"No, I want to. Get in the back, kids." He motioned. So, you and Hyunjin slid into the back as Kairi and Chan took your seats. They rolled the windows up, and the car was getting warm again. You still had goosebumps, and Hyunjin handed you his own jacket, draping it over your body as you looked out the window. He would never let you be cold. Chan drove out, switching out the rock for a rap playlist. You glanced at Hyunjin, and he was already smiling at you, head resting against the seat, a lazy smile on his features.

"Thank you for doing this. That was amazing." You mumbled. His voice was low, eyes hooded, "I did it for you. To see you smile like this."

"Everything you do makes me smile." You admitted. He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into him to kiss him. Chan and Kairi were talking, the music was still loud, it didn't seem like they cared about what you were doing in the back. "That was one of my favorite memories." You sighed into his mouth. Hyunjin grabbed your thigh, hooking it over his, so you were even closer to him than before. He kissed you, still touching you tenderly. Your hand dropped to his lap, but you restrained yourself. 

"Hey…the driver would really appreciate if we keep all arms and legs inside the vehicle and don't have sex in the backseat." Chan mumbled, with a half-laugh. Hyunjin's eyes snapped open, his face immediately going red, "We're not…"

You giggled. For a second, it seemed like Hyunjin might pull away. But then his arm tightened around you, holding you firmly against him so you wouldn't move away. Chan and Kairi were talking again up front, distracted, but Hyunjin’s focus was entirely on you. You pulled back, "Will you come over tomorrow? I…want to work on the canvases with you."

He nodded, "Of course I'll come." His mouth found yours once more, slower now, deliberate, like he wanted to prove something. Your heart pounded as you kissed him back, settling into his arms, letting him feel you up all the way home. 

The car hummed with warmth as Chan drove you back. You curled deeper into Hyunjin's chest, deeper into him, your cheek rising and falling with his chest. Chan and Kairi’s voices had quieted to a low murmur in the front, the music looping into softer songs now, but you barely noticed. All you felt was his arm around you, his thumb tracing circles against your back, heartbeat strong beneath your ear.

»»————-

You woke to Hyunjin shaking you awake, whispering your name. You hadn't realised you'd fallen asleep in the car, on your way home from the meteor shower, head buried in his chest.

"Hey." He was whispering against your ear, lips against your skin. You unwillingly opened your eyes, looking up at him in your sleep-muddled state, "Hyun."

He smiled at you like an angel, "We're almost there."

"Is she awake?" Chan was asking from the front. You sat up, a yawn escaping, "Yes. Sorry."

"Don't be. It's good you slept through all the traffic." He smiled, "I think we're twenty minutes out from your place."

"Did you need the directions?" You cleared your throat, waking yourself up. Chan looked at you through the rearview mirror, "No, Hyunjin knows the way. Don't worry about it."

You nodded, covering another yawn, "I can't believe I fell asleep."

Hyunjin's arm was around you, playing with your hair, "Don't be sorry. It's probably the cold."

"Thanks for driving us back, Chan." You said. He nodded, but his voice had dropped, "Of course."

His eyes kept flickering to the rearview mirror.

"Everything okay?" Kairi asked him. Chan nodded, "Yeah, yeah. Just…has that car always been behind us?"

On instinct, you and Hyunjin turned around. The road wasn't too busy anymore, but you could see a dark car trailing behind you. Hyunjin frowned, "Not sure."

Chan shifted in his seat, "I feel like I saw it twenty minutes ago, on the freeway."

Kairi's tone changed, "Are you serious?"

"What does that mean?" You asked them. 

The atmosphere suddenly seemed tense. Hyunjin squeezed you, "Don't worry about it. It's probably just a coincidence."

"I'm gonna make a turn here." Chan spoke, pulling into a random alley, "Let's see what this guy does."

You were still half-asleep, trying to make sense of their hesitation. You turned around, peering through the back window. Sure enough, the car turned into the alley too, slowly.

"This fucker." Chan mumbled, under his breath.

"What is it?" 

He let out a sigh, "Someone's been following us."

"What?"

"It's probably the paparazzi. Someone from the news outlet. They always have those sedans. He's been trailing us for about an hour. I can't believe I missed this."

Your eyes widened, and you glanced at Hyunjin. He looked stressed, staring out the window, jaw clenched. You asked, "So what…what does that mean? He knows we're in here?"

Chan replied, getting back onto the main street, "No, probably not all of us. But he must have realised it's a company rented car. I think he has an idea. He's probably waiting for us to stop, hoping to figure out who's in here."

"So…what should we do?" You asked. Kairi and Hyunjin were both unnaturally quiet. They acted like this was normal, being followed by a stranger in the night. Your heart was pounding so hard.

Chan looked around, checking the side mirrors, "We…probably can't drive you home, Y/N. This guy will find out where you live."

You leaned forward, zipping up your jacket, "Oh. Okay."

Hyunjin was still quiet and his arm dropped from your side. Chan glanced at you, "I'm trying to figure out... You might have to get out at the next turn. Before he follows or sees you get out. I could take you to the closest subway."

You nodded, "Right. Okay. That's fine." You immediately grabbed your bag, fastening up your shoes. 

"It's four am. We can't leave her at a subway station alone, Chan." Hyunjin spoke up. You glanced at him. His jaw was clenched tight, and you could see the anger in his eyes.

"Do you have a better idea, Hyunjin? Because this dude is relentless." Chan responded.

"I…I'll be fine." You said, hand on Hyunjin's arm, reassuring him even though you were scared. But you couldn't show him that. This is the stuff you'd signed up for to be with him even though it terrified the hell out of you. 

"I can go with her." Kairi offered.

"Guys, I don't need that. I'll be fine on my own. I'll just get on the next train home." You said, looking between them.

"I mean, I have to get out anyway." Kairi glanced at you, "This guy's probably gonna follow them all the way back to their dorms."

"He's about fifty yards behind us. I think if I pull up under an overpass, that'll get you enough time to get out before he makes you." Chan added.

"Fucking hell." Hyunjin spoke, louder now, "I swear, I want to see this guy's face."

"No, that sounds like a terrible idea." Kairi said, an image of ever present calm despite her harsh tone, "This is who they are. They're doing their jobs. They're not gonna stop."

"Hyun, I'll be fine." You said to him, trying to get him to look at you. He sighed, "I'm sorry. This is my fault."

"Hyunjin." You interrupt him, "It's fine. I'll be fine. I had an amazing night regardless—"

"We can't leave them in the middle of the street, Chan. It's late. It's not safe." He interrupted, like he hadn't heard you. He wasn't even looking at you, only responding to Chan.

"We don't really have a choice, Hyunjin." Chan responded, speeding up so he could pull under the overpass, "Okay, I'm pulling in now. We'll have a red light between us. The subway should be right down the block."

You grabbed your purse, and Kairi unbuckled her belt. You had seconds to get out, before the guy saw you were in their car. All of your sleep had vanished into adrenaline. 

"Come on." Kairi said, pushing open her door in urgency. You got out, glancing back at Hyunjin quickly. His eyes were on yours for a split second, unsettling, upset, angry. You didn't know what to say. Kairi closed the doors behind you, looking at Chan, "I love you. Don't worry about us."

Before you could say anything to Hyunjin, the light had changed to green. Kairi pulled you away from the car, just in time. They drove off fast, and Kairi tugged you into the subway steps, rushing down the stairs so fast you were running, stumbling over your steps. The subway station was dinghy, empty save for a few people.

"That was crazy." You mumbled, trying not to think of the expression on Hyunjin's face and your heart was pounding so hard you thought you might pass out, "Is that…normal?"

"Only a couple of times." She spoke, letting go of your hand so she could pay at the turnstile. You stopped in your tracks, the adrenaline suddenly catching up to you. Your knees felt weak. What the fuck just happened?

"Y/N…" Kairi called out, looking back at you. Her gaze met yours, but she looked concerned. 

"I…need a second." You tried to calm your breathing. She came up to you, "Y/N…You look like you're going to pass out. Sit down."

You lowered yourself onto the steps, struggling to stay calm. "I…I'm sorry. I'm freaking out."

Kairi bent down in front of you, "Hey, hey. Look at me. You're fine. We're fine, okay?"

"I just…I'm sorry. I don't mean to…I'm just…"

Her hands cradled your face, "I know, I know. It was really scary. I'm sorry to rush you. That was insane."

"That was…crazy." You mumbled. Kairi looked around, spotting a 24/7 stall in the subway station, "I'm gonna get you some water. Okay. Stay seated. I'll be right back."

"Mmh-hmm." You nodded, dropping your head onto your knees. You were asleep only ten minutes ago and this literally felt a nightmare. Your eyes were brimming with tears. You needed to calm down. You were panicking. For no good reason. You were safe. Nothing had happened. This is just what you had to do to be with him. This was exactly what you'd signed up for. No big deal.

"Hey lady, you need help getting home?" A raspy voice interrupted. You looked up to see an older man stumbling towards you, a smile on his face. Your gaze moved to Kairi. She was still at the stall, digging into her jeans for coins for your water bottle.

"No, I'm fine." You responded, but your voice came out weak.

"Come on. You don't look so good. It's late. I'll take you home." He said, words slurring together as he came closer to you.

"Get the fuck away from her." Kairi said, walking over and in between you. The guy stopped in his tracks, gaze intense.

"Kairi…" You started to say, but the man rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

He walked away, and Kairi came to sit next to you, handing you the bottle of water. Your hand was shaking as you grabbed it and you hated yourself for being so weak. "Thank you." You spoke, sipping on it. She was peering at you, "Of course. The water should help."

"I'm sorry. I'm such a fucking pussy." You mumbled, taking a sip of the cold water.

"What? No. That…that was intense. And…you literally were still half-asleep, I can't imagine how panicked you felt."

You shook your head, "No. I should be able to handle this better. Like you did."

"Y/N…I've had years of practice. That's not fair to you. And this shit still freaks me out. Those press outlets are assholes. They make their money off our misery, and it's okay to be scared."

You looked up at her, voice trembling, "Please don't tell Hyunjin about this."

"What?"

"I don't want him to know that I freaked out."

"Why?" She frowned, searching your teary gaze.

"Because…he'll think I'm not ready for this. But I am. I can be strong about this."

"Y/N…Hyunjin will understand—"

"I don't want him to know that I can't handle this." Your lip was trembling, "This stuff that's so easy for you guys, should be easy for me too. It has to be."

Kairi's expression softened, and it looked like she wanted to say something, but instead she just nodded, "Okay. I won't bring this up. But I hope you know that the way you're reacting…is normal. We shouldn't be used to this."

You swallowed, "I'm just glad we told you guys about us. It's selfish, I know. I'm being selfish for saying this but between the two of us, I don't think I could have handled this alone tonight."

She smiled, wiping a stray tear on your cheek, "You could have. And despite that, I still had a great night with you."

You nodded, trying to go back to the moment of the meteor shower, "Right. Me too. I…had a great time."

"Let's get home, okay?" She grabbed your hand, helping you stand up. You waited on the platform. The crowd wasn't the best this late at night. Just as you got onto the train, your phone began buzzing. Hyunjin was calling you. You cleared your throat, picking up, hoping your voice sounded strong, "Hey."

"Y/N. Are you home?" His voice sounded frantic, cutting up as the train began moving underground.

"Not yet. I just got on the train."

"Are you okay?" He asked, after a pause, "Is Kairi still with you?"

"Yes. I…" You locked eyes with Kairi "We're fine." His concern immediately wanted to make you cry again, but you held back. You had to be tougher than this.

"I'm sorry that happened." He was apologizing, but you could only hear him in pieces. 

"I can't really hear you. I'm on the train. I gotta go."

"Y/N…" He started to say something, but the line went dead. You hung up, staring at Kairi. She leaned against the pole, eyes heavy on yours, "You good?"

You nodded, trying to think back to how perfect the night had been, relishing in that memory.

»»————-

It was your birthday next week, and there was a leak in your apartment. 

Not that those two things were related, but it had unfortunately made all your days pass by trying to come up with solutions. In theory, it was a great distraction from your inner turmoil. 

You immersed yourself in your art, bringing your body back to stasis. The events of the night of the meteor shower still hung heavy on you, and you'd told Hyunjin it didn't affect you. It did. But you wouldn't complain about it, this is exactly what you'd signed up for when you agreed to jump headfirst into this relationship. Sometimes you wish you could just run away to a place no one knew the two of you. It would mean giving up everything in his life, and in yours, but it could feel worth it.

You'd resorted to painting art for your apartment, little canvases that you hung up by the door, by the bed, by the kitchen. Hyunjin was busy with holiday schedules, but he checked in on you, every day, every night before you slept. You hadn't talked yet about what happened despite all the times he unsuccessfully tried to bring it up. You didn't really know what to say. You didn't want to talk about it. It was the biggest I told you so. He knew this could happen, that's why he'd pushed you away for so long. Crying about it would mean admitting defeat. It would mean admitting he was right all those months ago to not pursue you. 

Tonight he was supposed to be at a big award show, so you sat in front of the TV, with your big canvases laid out, catching glimpses at it. Soon he would be flying out to another country, miles away from you. You would have to be strong and get through this alone. And then you would be a year older, and then the year would change and everything would be fine and this would just be a distant memory. 

You dipped your paint in the mug of water, painting the outlines of your art. You recognised a few of the people on the TV, some friends of his that he'd mentioned but it was like watching a broadcast from another world. You didn't really know any of those people and never would. You could never really meet his famous friends. 

As you painted, you wondered if you should do something for your birthday after all. It could be a last resort to cheer yourself up. You stared at the television, hoping to catch a glimpse of him or his band. They were supposed to perform. He'd been rehearsing for that all month. As you waited, you mentally made a list of people to invite to your hypothetical party, people you knew in the city, but halfway through that activity you realise you didn't really care about the random classmates you'd only known for two months. If it was up to you, you'd spend your day with him. But he wouldn't even be here for it. He would be a thousand miles away at a fashion show and he would never even know it was your birthday.

You painted in silence, focusing on the art, on the award show in the back. Seeing him on TV was surreal. It was distant. You wish he were here. 

There was a knock at your door. You reached for your remote, muting the broadcast and walked over. It was probably Jeongin, asking you to grab Khao Soi again. You yanked the door open, thick blanket hanging around your shoulders, a symbol of your internal mourning.

But Hyunjin stood there, real and in the flesh and not on your TV screen, leather trench coat over his body, a bag in his hand, relief in his eyes at seeing you. "Hi." He smiled, leaning against your doorframe. Your eyes widened and you didn't feel prepared, "I thought you were at the award show."

"I was. Until I left." He said, "Can I come in? It's freezing in your hallway."

"Um. Yes." You stepped aside to make room for him. In all the time you'd been together, he hadn't been able to come up to your apartment. You were confused at the award show that was still playing, "Isn't the broadcast live?"

"No, we prerecorded our performances. We're not winning any more awards tonight so... Chan said it'd be fine if I left. Everyone's too busy celebrating our win to notice I'm gone." He walked over to your couch, observing the TV and the mess on the floor, "Why is all your stuff here?"

"I've been sleeping on the couch." You admitted. Hyunjin's head whipped to you, "Why?"

"There's a leak in my bedroom." You stated. At those words, he walked into your room and you mindlessly followed him, blanket trailing behind you. Hands on his hips, he said, "Your bed is wet." 

"I know. A pipe must have burst when it froze over cause of the snowstorms." You looked back at the broadcast on TV that until now you had thought was live, "You're sure they're not going to be wondering where you are?" 

Hyunjin laughed, stepping up to you, "So many questions. You're not happy to see me?"

"No, I am. Of course I am. I just wasn't expecting you. You haven't been to my place in weeks. I didn't even know you were allowed to come here."

"Well, all my managers are at the award show so…no one's gonna be looking for me tonight. I wanted to come see you."

"Oh. That's…nice."

"I know." He laughed, and then stepped closer to you, "How are you feeling? I…was worried about you and I wanted to apologise."

"Apologise? For what?” You were confused. He swallowed hard, Adam's apple bobbing, "For not comforting you in the car. For letting my anger take over my concern. I…I was seeing red. I was ashamed. I shouldn't have let that happen."

Your heart squeezed at the apology. Had he been blaming himself this whole time? You stepped up to him, "No. What you're not going to do is blame yourself. Because if you're here to do that, then you should leave. It wasn't your fault, no matter how you twist it to feel like that."

His eyes narrowed, "Y/N…but…"

"But what?"

He spoke, "I thought you were upset at me. You haven't really talked to me about that night and…you know you can tell me anything, right? I'm not going to judge you for your feelings. Or for anything, ever. If you hate me for what happened, you can say that. I can take it."

Hate you? I love you.

"That's not it. I'm sorry I've been avoiding talking about it…" Your voice and gaze fell to the floor."It's selfish." 

"Hey." He stepped closer, "Haven't I told you before? You can be selfish around me all you want."

"I just… After the night of the meteor shower, I felt…" You swallowed, "scared. Not because of what happened, but I just…" You trailed off, words hanging off your tongue. Hyunjin took a step closer, lifting your chin to look at him, "I'm listening, baby."

"I was worried I wasn't cut out for this life, and that you'd see that."

"I'm never going to think anything like that about you. I'm the one putting you through it. In fact, you literally took it better than I did. What happened that night was a close call. It was fucked up. And I know you were scared, because I was scared. And in this life, I'm surrounded by people like that… vultures, but they didn't get anything. Nothing's gonna happen to you."

Your eyes met his.

"To us." He clarified, "Nothing's gonna happen to us, baby."

"Is it always like that?” You swallowed. He nodded, "In Seoul…It's really bad." 

"Right…you should move out then." You mumbled. He laughed, a bubbly sound that made your chest glow, "We should. Don't worry. I'm not letting them get you, okay? You're mine, and…I'm going to protect you, best I can."

"I'm also going to protect you. The life you've built for yourself is too good." You leaned up on your tiptoes to hug him, whispering into his neck, "Thanks for checking in on me. Are you sure it's okay that you're here?"

"Yes." He repeated, without hesitation, "Even if it's not okay, I'd be here." He pulled back from the hug, stroking your cheek, "So…what were you upto? Watching me on TV and painting?"

You flushed, throwing your blanket off to the side, "Well, now that you're here, you wanna help me paint?"

His lips curved into a smile, "I'd love that. But first…do you have a sweater I could borrow?"

"What happened to your clothes?" You asked, realising he was still in his coat and hadn't taken it off. He laughed, "Well. I just performed and…" He then unbuttoned his coat, showing you what he had on underneath.

You had to make an effort to not have your jaw drop. He was in a sheer bodysuit that hugged him tight, exposing his chest and abs through the see through material. Then he had on tight leather pants, too tight in the crotch. You stifled a giggle, hand covering your mouth. If only to hide your insane desires. 

"Something funny?" He raised an eyebrow. You shook your head, hiding your smile, "No, I can probably give you Yeonjun's pajamas. He left a pair here a few weeks ago."

He looked so out of element. In a fancy stage outfit in your drafty, leaky little bedroom. You giggled, watching him like this. Hyunjin walked over to your drawers, grabbing the sweatpants and hoodie from the bottom drawer, "I love that you find this hilarious."

"I'll be in the living room. Find me when you're done." You sang, walking back to your canvas. You turned the broadcast off, catching your reflection in the TV. You unfurled another empty canvas board, one you'd gotten at half off price from the Haedong art store, making room for the two of you. 

After ten minutes, he joined you, and sat cross-legged on your living room floor. In Yeonjun's soft white sweater and sweats. He'd pushed the sleeves up till his forearms. He looked like a dream. He'd messed up his hair, taking it out of its styling and hairspray but there was still dark makeup on his lids. His lips were still glossy and cheekbones still pink from his stage makeup. "Feel better?" You asked. He nodded, "Mmh. So much. The outfit was so tight. It's nice to finally breathe again. And it had no pockets. I had to hold my phone in my hand the whole time."

You smiled, nipping away at your painting, "Wow. You're qualified at girl talk now."

He laughed, "Oh am I? I thought I didn't meet the only parameter."

You looked up at him, shrugging, "I'll let you off the hook."

His eyes crinkled, and then he looked around, "So you've been sleeping on the couch for a week."

You'd pushed your couch to the side, making enough space on the floor for both your canvases and all of your painting supplies. The canvases were large enough for you to sit on. You dipped your brush into the purple color palette, "Yeah. My back hurts though. I think it was a bad idea to get a couch off Facebook marketplace."

"I would say you could stay with me…" He said, staring at his empty canvas. You shook your head, shrugging, "And if your manager found out, he would positively kill me. It's fine. I didn't mind."

He opened your art pouch, picking a few paintbrushes out, "So where will we put these up?"

"I was thinking the wall by the kitchen." You said, painting light strokes into your background color. You peeked at him, "What are you gonna make? Are you sure you're not too tired from the show?"

"No, are you kidding me? This is the best way to relax." He smiled, tapping his chosen paintbrush on the floor before he started digging around your box of paints, "and I've only been making flowers these days. Thinking of making a vase that holds them." 

You nodded, reaching over to grab the blue paint bottle, "How was the award show? You and the boys looked really good at the red carpet. Han really has a way with cameras. He's so charming."

"Ouch. And not me?” He feigned hurt. You rolled your eyes, "Obviously you looked good. So confident. That outfit was made for your body."

"It was good. The usual. We had a great performance, although our managers were insisting that we lipsync to avoid any issues. Chan fought back. We always prefer singing live."

"Why does it always seem like they're against you guys? I mean, they're your managers. Isn't their sole purpose to be helpful to you?" You sat up to pause and stretch. He laughed, "You'd think. To them, we're a brand. But they're good people, and they work really hard for our success. It doesn't feel right to always complain about them, I guess."

You frowned, "You're a saint for dealing with all of this."

He looked at your canvas. You'd started filling in the background, painting in big strokes while he held the thinnest paintbrushes. You two approached it so differently. You needed to see the big picture first before you could dive into the details, but it seemed like he started from the little details. He was painting little petals into a vase that didn't exist yet.

Hyunjin bent over his canvas, stretching his legs out over the floor, using the smallest brush possible to add in details to the petals. You looked at him, "I'm glad we're making these. I feel like we talked about this forever ago, but isn't it crazy how long it took us to actually paint together?"

Hyunjin nodded, and his nose was inches from his canvas, focusing on the flower stems, "I know. Life has a funny way of getting away from you."

"I've missed painting with you." You realised, and all of your anxiety from the week was fading away. You were already so calm seeing him, having him in your space so close to you, watching him at his best. 

"I know." He bit his lip, looking up at you, "I'm sorry, the schedule has been insane. I've been taking more vocal lessons before our next album…and there's been way too many fittings before the fashion week. It's not an excuse though."

"When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow." He said, "I fly back next Saturday."

So he would miss your birthday. But you knew that. "Tomorrow morning?"

He nodded, "Flight leaves at six."

"They really expect you to perform onstage and then get on a ten hour flight?” You asked. He smiled, "Actually having these few hours off is unusual in itself. Sometimes we go to the airport right from a schedule, still in our stage outfits."

You shook your head, tutting, "I don't know you how do it."

"You haven't told me what you're making yet." Hyunjin said, watching your canvas. It was only a blend of blue as of now.

"I'm…painting the meteor shower that we saw."

"Oh…" Hyunjin realised. You nodded, "Mmh."

"Romantic." Hyunjin smiled, sitting up to take a sip of the drinks you'd brought out earlier. He looked at you for a few seconds, and it looked like he wanted to say something but he held back.

"What?" You asked.

"Nothing, I…" He shook his head. His lips twitched into a smile, and then he went back to focus on his canvas. 

"Tell me, Hyun."

He looked back up at you, a revered look on his face, "Just can't believe I'm here with you. A crazy part of my brain likes to believe I'm dreaming and that I have to pinch myself to remind me this is real. That it's not some fever dream I made up after leaving Daejon."

"Shut up."

"What?" He laughed.

"My brain does that too."

"Does it?"

"I feel like I've been dreaming since I saw you."

His eyes traveled over your face, "Then I hope we never have to wake up."

"Morbid."

He laughed. You were quiet for a few minutes, starting to draw in the outlines of the meteors. The soft sounds of bristles was the only one in the room. Hyunjin wordlessly passed you the paints you'd need for it, and you slid over the thicker brushes to him when he started working on the vase. It worked so well.

"I always have trouble with painting glass." He mumbled, squinting at his piece, "I should have just made an opaque vase so I wouldn't have to worry about it."

"Ugh yeah. Glass can be tricky. I used to hate doing it." You agreed. Hyunjin sat up again, resting on his heels, stretching over his head. You tried not to let it distract you, his sweater lifting up right in your view.

He quietly watched you paint.

"You're…so good at that." He spoke bluntly, hands resting on his knees as he watched you. You looked up at him, realising he'd stopped painting and was just observing you.

"You have paint on your pants." You pointed out. He was still holding onto the white paintbrush, streaks of white on his knees now. He didn't seem to care though, and he continued, "I don't know how you do it. It's like you've already seen the painting in your head and you're just bringing it to life."

You glanced up at him again, pausing, "Well, that's what you're doing too, Hyun."

"No, not really. It's coming to me as I paint. It can change at any moment, but you…you already know exactly where your hands' gonna go, what color is next. You're not even thinking about it. That's insane to me."

"I…guess it just comes with practice." You stated, heart-warming at his simple observations, going back to blend in the skies.

"No, it comes with extraordinary talent. You're perfect at what you do." He said simply. You shook your head, "Thank you but…perfect is saying a lot."

"You're not listening to me then. Look at me." He said. You set down your brush to the side, giving him your full attention, chin in your hand, "Yes?"

"You don't see the difference?" He pointed at his work and then yours. You frowned, "Your art is amazing, Hyunjin."

"That's not it. What I'm doing comes with practice and classes and tutorials. You can see that. Everything I've done on this canvas is something I learnt from someone, but everything you're doing comes from within. It's innate."

You thought over his words, distracted by his passion as he explained it. He continued, waving his hand and paintbrush about, "That painting already exists in you. You're just…translating it onto paper."

You'd never heard something as simply profound as that. "But…I'm still learning every day, Hyunjin."

"It's not the same. I…don't know how to explain to you what I'm feeling. I wish you could read my mind."

"I do understand. I just think you're cutting yourself too short." You sat up, "Everything you do…comes from within too. Like okay maybe not painting glass vases, but your dance…your singing… The way you see things."

He had a faint smile on his face. It was like you and him were always in a compliment battle, trying to have the upper hand in convincing the other that they were perfect. He let out a sigh, looking down at his unfinished vase, "You mind lending me a hand with this when you're done?"

"If you want me to."

"I do."

So you dropped your paintbrushes on the tissues, crawling over to his canvas. It was so large it took up all the space in your living room. Hyunjin shifted, only slightly, for you to sit in front of his painting. You sat on your knees, and he sat behind you, cross-legged, watching your every move. You grabbed a thin brush, dipping it in translucent white, hovering it over the piece, "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." He responded, "You're not gonna ruin it."

You giggled, "Reassuring."

Slowly, you started to draw onto his canvas. You were only helping him out with the glass texture; you'd done it many times before and he hadn't.

It felt intimate to draw onto his canvas, blending your strokes with his as Hyunjin watched over your shoulder. His hands settled gently onto your waist, grounding you and sending a warmth through your skin. Your breath hitched slightly, and you found it hard to focus on anything but the grounding sensation of his hands, large and reassuring. 

You paused, brush hovering above the canvas. His proximity was intoxicating, making you aware of every movement, every breath shared. "Keep going," he murmured, his voice a gentle command.

So, you did. Each stroke took effort as you filled in the blanks of his painting. Your strokes and his slowly became one, the boundaries blurring between you until you couldn't tell which was his and which was yours. 

His hands suddenly wrapped around you completely, sliding under your sweater and touching your bare skin. You couldn't really breathe, not when he was this close. But you willed yourself to focus on the task at hand, painting with a steadiness you didn't feel inside. Your heart was racing.

You dipped the brush lightly into the pale blue, swirling it with a hint of white, deciding it was best to talk him through it. After all, he did want to learn from you. "So…the key is not actually painting the glass itself.”

Hyunjin tilt his head, confused but following you closely. You continued, “You paint what’s around it. The reflections, the highlights. Glass doesn’t really have a color, right? It’s just picking up everything near it. So if the background’s warm, you use warmer colors. If it’s cool…” you dragged the brush in a faint arc across the vase, “…you use cool tones like this. And the trick is to not do too much. That emptiness is what makes it look transparent.”

He hummed, watching your hand carefully.

“You have to let the light trick the eye into seeing it.”

Hyunjin’s breath brushed your shoulder as he leaned even closer, eyes following every flick of your wrist. “God. You make it sound so easy.”

“It’s not me.” You laughed softly. “It's just…practice."

His gaze stayed fixed on your hands moving across the canvas, but his voice was low. “Do you even know how insane it is to watch you do this? You’re not just painting glass. You’re showing me the way you see things. No wonder I—” He cut himself off, lips parting like he’d almost said too much.

You turned your head to look at him. He was so close to you, face inches from yours, body pressed up behind yours. You breathed, staring into his eyes, "What were you going to say?"

His eyes were blown wide, eyelashes fluttering prettily, "Nothing. I…keep going."

"Okay." You nodded, turning back to the canvas but you felt dizzy. Your strokes and his had blended so perfectly, they were one. You were like one. You could feel his chest move with yours, hyperaware of every breath. Your hands were trembling. You couldn't move them.

"Why'd you stop?" Hyunjin asked, voice soft. You willed yourself to focus, but he was making it impossible. He leaned in, tucking his head in your shoulder, leaving a kiss on your neck. You stilled, "Hyun…"

"Keep going…" He mumbled, leaving another kiss on your neck, mouth moving soft over your skin. You swallowed, gut twisting with desire, hoping the paintbrush would stay steady as you added another stroke. Hyunjin's hands moved further up, sliding under your sweater, and you dropped the paintbrush entirely, paint drops splattering on your wooden floor as his fingers grazed your bra.

"What is it?" Hyunjin asked, speaking into your shoulder, between kisses, "Am I distracting you?"

"Uh-huh…" You mumbled, head falling back as he squeezed your tits through your bra. His hands were big, pulling back the cup of your bra to touch your bare skin. His hands were cold, his silver bracelets making you shiver. You felt like putty, for him to mold, to play with, to do whatever he wanted with. 

He licked a strip of skin up your neck, whispering, "Your pulse is racing."

You let him kiss you neck, to suck it, like he couldn't get enough of you. In the reflection of your TV, you could see how sinful you looked. He was holding you from behind, slowly pulling you up onto his lap. The paint on his pants was now on yours. You turned your head, nose bumping against his. He looked right at you, pupils wide with desire, lips wet with his own spit, "Kiss me."

Your eyes widened. He was handing control to you. Letting you take over. So you obviously did. You closed the distance between you, mouth crushing his too fast. Lips crashing against each other, moulding, moving. He tugged you onto his lap entirely, still facing away from him, your head tilted back to kiss him. He still felt you up, mumbling your name in between. Your hand slipped, knocking against the mug of paintbrushes. It didn't startle him. He kept kissing you.

"What about your painting?" You breathed. He chased your mouth, squeezing your tits, "Fuck the painting."

You couldn't help but agree. You were losing your mind the longer he kissed you, all tongue in your mouth like he was trying to become one with you. You squirmed with each sensation, struggling with this crazy desire, with how quickly things had taken a turn. His hand trailed down to your jeans, pausing at the buckle before popping open the button. Your voice was breathy, "Does it…does it turn you on? When I teach you things?" 

He pulled back, looking into your eyes at the same time he slid his hand into your pants. He mumbled between kisses, "Fuck. Yes. Hearing you speak…I can't help myself. You're so talented. Seeing you like that makes me go insane. So fucking focused and concentrated. It's so hot."

His fingertips grazed the thin fabric of your underwear and you were trembling, a gasp escaping. He held you tighter with his free arm, keeping you steady against his chest. Your eyes fumbled shut, brain full of fuzz.

“You’re shaking…I haven't even touched you yet.” He murmured, almost in awe. His mouth pressed kisses down the slope of your neck as his fingers slid lower, teasing and pulling at the fabric until you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. Your gaze was blurry as you stared at him, "Please. I've missed you."

"Can I?" He mumbled, voice breathy. His eyes were full of a crazy desire, like he would swallow you whole. You nodded, completely at his mercy, as he dipped his thumb over you. It was like your Achilles heel. You jolted, so embarrassingly turned on. But you could feel how hard he was under you too. His fingers pushed past the thin cotton underwear and found you, and your head fell back against his shoulder instantly. 

You grabbed at his wrist, to ground yourself as he touched you — slow at first, then more certain when he felt the way you squirmed, fingers swiping in circles. The sound of your breathing was loud, the faint scrape of his rings against your skin was cold. His voice was soft, "You're enjoying this, are you?"

You could only nod, eyes on his as he mumbled, "Turn around."

"What?" You could barely register, as he turned you around to face him. In a swift move, he picked you up and put you on the couch.

It was softer than the hardwood floor. More forgiving.

And he crawled on top of you, his body tall over you. He slid your sweatpants off, tauntingly slow down your legs, inch by inch. He kept looking back up, eyes meeting yours, hair falling in his face, making sure you were liking it, making sure he saw what he did to you, every reaction. He had made you a mess, overwhelmed with emotions and arousal. You'd never felt anticipation like this. Once they were off, he moved up to find your mouth and to kiss you again. You could feel him grabbing at your thigh, hooking his fingers into your skin. It was hard to keep your eyes open but you didn't want to miss a second of this. You'd been waiting so long. 

He pushed your sweater up, you shivered as his hands came into contact with your skin, but he kept going. A trail of kisses down your stomach. The realization of what he wanted to do sank into you. His face lay in between your legs, fingers hooked onto your underwear. He looked up at you, "Is this okay?"

The boy of your dreams was in the most compromising position known to man, and it wasn't okay. It was too good. Too perfect. Your gut was twisting at the sight of him. "Yes…please."

"Baby, look at me."

So you did. His pretty brown eyes were blown wide, a hopeful look on his face, "Are you sure?"

You nodded, an insane desire flooding you and you sat up to kiss him, "God. Don't ask me again."

He kissed you back hungrily, holding your face in his hands, "I've been dreaming about this."

And all you could do was look up at the ceiling, at your apartment's little lighting fixtures, at the paint peeling off the walls, as you felt him take off your panties. The ceiling was blue. You'd never noticed that. You stared at it because you couldn't look at him. 

You might implode if you did. Or explode. You wouldn't last. You'd never felt this kind of desire before. You'd never seen someone else feel this much desire towards you. It made you feel insane. You then felt his mouth on you, just a flutter. It was too much. You loved it. You immediately shifted, unable to help how your body reacted, and Hyunjin mumbled, hand flat on your stomach, and his voice was muffled and heavenly, "It's okay baby…"

You let yourself relax into it, to cherish this moment, to memorize how this felt. Eyes squeezed shut so you could feel every sensation. He was really doing this. His hands were hooked around your thighs, holding your legs open, and you felt his tongue on you. “Hyun…” Your voice broke on his name.

Everything about this felt unreal as he licked up your folds, tasting you in a way he never had before. You thought you might die.

He was so good at this. Who taught him how to do that? He was relentless, but he was so careful with you. He was soft and slow. He was torturous.

He knew just what to do with his tongue, the right places to flick it, and he set a pace that had you squirming in place. "Fuck." You could barely form a thought. You felt far too shy to look at him, it was too intimate and Hyunjin was seeing you in a way he never had before. You couldn't think anymore. You could just feel each flick of his tongue, riling you up. He was so fucking good. Your hand twisted in his hair, fingers curling in it, tugging at it. It only urged him to go faster. More passionate than he'd already been. It was too much. It was too good. Nothing human should feel this good.

Your gut twisted, a knot coiling within as it got tighter and tighter. You could feel his nose rub against you, and his tongue worked miracles. Your fingers gripped the back of the couch, digging deep into it to find some semblance of control.

He wouldn't even have to do much because you were already so riled up. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, hips jerking up and he held you in place. He didn't stop, and when it got far too much he rode you through your high. You tried to stifle your moans, biting down on your hand, but you were still so loud. It felt far too good to not be this loud. You're sure everybody in the building could hear you moan as Hyunjin ate you out.

His name came out in stutters and moans. It only pushed him more. You couldn't find it in you to be embarrassed, not when he was so relentless. His tongue flicked at you, licking you up, tasting you. He kept going, a hand on your stomach holding your body down, until your second high hit. You were even louder this time and your body was burning up.

And when it finally got too much, it's like he could feel it, like he felt everything you did, so with slow kisses, he stopped. You tried to catch your breath, chest moving up and down. A kiss on your thighs. Gently, he lift his head up to look at you. Your eyes were on him too. Something amazing had happened. His head between your legs, a smile on his face, you would never get that image out of your head. 

His hair was plastered to his forehead, his mouth wet. Slowly, he moved up, and you grabbed his face in your hands, "Hyun…"

"Was that good for you?" He asked, voice hoarse. You kissed him, holding him above you, "It was…perfect. Thank you."

"God, I should be saying that to you. You taste like nothing I could have imagined." He mumbled. You entangled your arms around his neck, pulling him down to you and he shifted his body on top of yours so you could both be comfortable.

Your canvases lay unfinished on the floor. You'd forgotten all about them as you kissed him. He tasted like you. You lay like that, catching your breath, making out for what felt like hours. His hands were in your hair, stroking it gently. Lazily he kissed you, tongue in your mouth, hands on your body. You were just a normal couple then, intoxicated by each other, not being able to have enough of the other and nothing outside this room mattered. 

He pulled back from you, breathless, as if he suddenly remembered something, and there was a pause as he asked you so innocently, "Water?"

You didn't want to stop. Couldn't you kiss him till the sun rose? But you nodded and slowly sat up. He got up, adjusting his clothes. He walked over to your kitchen. The room was dimly lit. His movements were deliberate and thoughtful. You slid your underwear back on. Something had shifted in his energy. He moved with ease, a picture of innocence, like he hadn't just given you the best orgasm of your life. 

He walked back to the couch with two mugs of water, setting one in front of you before sitting down. His knee bounced like he couldn’t keep still. "I…wanted to tell you something."

“Yeah?” You sipped on the water, but nothing except him could quench your thirst.

He shifted toward you, and his hair was still disheveled and his lips were still swollen, "I got you something."

"Oh?"

He reached into his bag, that lay next to the couch, " I've been wanting to give it to you for a while. I didn't think I'd be able to cause I was at the award show, but…I'd put it in my car earlier and…"

He handed it to you, it was wrapped in a delicate pink paper. It was heavy, and rectangular, like a big book.

"I wasn't expecting anything." You told him, resting the gift on your lap, "I…don't have a gift for you."

He giggled, hand stroking your hair still, tucking it behind your ear, "Y/N. Just…open it."

You pulled at the white ribbon around it, unfurling the thin crepe paper. It was a book. A Vincent Van Gogh themed photobook. Your eyes widened, "Oh my god?"

He watched your expression carefully.

You ran your fingers over the matte cover. The cover was Sunflowers. "This is… gorgeous. It's perfect for me."

Hyunjin laughed, almost in relief. You looked up at him, delicately holding the book, "Oh my god. Thank you so much. Why did you get me this?"

"Well…" His fingers traced your shoulder, "It's your birthday soon, isn't it?"

Your eyes widened, "How did you know that?"

He smiled. "Aren't you gonna open it?"

You couldn't wait. You reached forward, wrapping an arm around him to pull him into a thank you hug. It was an awkward position, because you were still holding the book on your lap and him on the other. "This is perfect, Hyun."

Hyunjin pulled back. There was an unreadable expression in his eyes, "Really?"

"I mean." You smiled, looking back at the book, "I love it so so much. I…I really wasn't expecting anything, especially since I know you'll be flying out soon."

You turned it over to look at the back. It was printed in the Netherlands, "You got this from the Van Gogh museum?"

Hyunjin nodded, "I had it shipped. I think you should really open it."

You couldn't believe he'd done this for you, and you slowly flipped open the first page. There was an excerpt from the curator and then there were full-bleed images. They were prettier than you could imagine. The colors felt so real, like you were seeing the paintings with your own eyes, and not thousands of miles away from them. You flipped through, recognising every single work. Cafe Terrace at Night. His Self Portrait. The Bouquet of Flowers.

Hyunjin was watching you quietly. Suddenly, tears brimmed to your eyes. The art was so beautiful, and the fact that he bought this for you even more beautiful.

"Thank you so much," Your voice came out a whisper, "This is already the best birthday ever."

"Y/N…what's wrong?" He asked, noticing the tear roll down your cheek, like he didn't expected you to have such a reaction. You felt embarrassed, shaking your head, "I…just. It's the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. I…I've never received a gift like this ever. I didn't except you to get me anything, or know it's my birthday. Much less this book. It's perfect."

Hyunjin almost looked concerned, like he was nervous. Maybe he didn't know what to say. You felt embarrassed about your admittance, that no one in your life had known you well enough to gift you something like this. He must have had a lot of people like that in his life. But he really was one of a kind. Your voice broke as you said, trying to explain your crazy emotions because it was just a book but it meant the world to you, "Maybe that's weird but…this is just the most thoughtful thing someone's done for me."

You kept flipping through the book, pausing on the page of the Almond Blossoms.

A folded up envelope lay in the center of the pages.

"Oh, I think this is yours." You handed it to him, voice wavering from all the emotions, embarrassed, overwhelmed. This was already the best birthday ever because the love of your life picked something out, only for you. You would buy a coffee table just so you could display this book proudly on it. You'd carry it with you everywhere so you could stare at the pages and remember that he got it for you.

Hyunjin had a strange look in his eyes, as he watched you cry over this gift and maybe he hadn't expected you to love it so much, "Um, the envelope…that's actually for you, Y/N. The book was just…a cover."

You were confused, not understanding him. Carefully, you rest the book on the couch and opened the envelope. Inside was a single piece of paper and you unfolded it to read what it said. It was a lot of text and numbers. 

Your teary vision made it difficult to read the words on the paper, but they still didn't make sense, and your head started spinning. You looked back up at him, and surely what it said wasn't true. "What…is this?"

Hyunjin's words were quietly spoken, expectation in his eyes, "It's for you. That's your gift, baby."

It was a flight ticket to Amsterdam.

“I…I don’t understand.”

"You told me you wanted to do something that would inspire you. And I know you've been doing that on your own in the city…, but I thought it might be time for you to try something new. Maybe it'll bring you inspiration. And…it's your birthday. You deserve to celebrate it in a place like that. The book was just a cover for the ticket…”

Your gut twisted, unable to comprehend this as you looked up at him, "What…? I…you bought this just for me? But it must have been so expensive."

He nodded, gaze intense on yours, "I already booked everything for you. The flights. The apartment you can stay at when you're there. The museum tickets."

The dizziness swept over you in waves, tingling at the edges of your vision and making your surroundings blur softly, like a watercolor painting. Your breath caught in your throat, disbelief causing your heart to pound in your chest, your throat closing up. It was as if you were floating. It was like were having an out of body experience.

It started sinking in what he'd done. You must be dreaming. 

"Hyunjin. This is …a lot."

"No…" He responded, hand reaching over to yours, "It's the least I can do."

"Oh my god. It's a lot." You spoke as you realized the magnitude of what he'd just gifted you on a casual Thursday evening. In an instant, you jumped up into his lap, throwing your arms around him. He caught you instantly, whispering into your shoulder, “I know. I knew you’d say that. But let me do this for you please."

You pulled back, still stunned. “You know it’ll take me years to pay you back for this, right?”

He smiled, squeezing your waist, “Don’t be stupid. You’re not paying me back. That’s why it’s a gift.”

"Is…that why you were so nervous?"

"Well, I was waiting for you to see the ticket, but…you started crying…"

"Oh my god." You buried your face in your hands, "I…I was just overwhelmed. The book was already the most amazing thing — but this…"

"No, don't be embarrassed." He removed your hands, observing the dried tears on your cheeks, "I just can't believe it made you so happy, and you hadn't even seen the real thing yet."

"It's very easy to make me happy. Especially if it's you."

He smiled, "And I already made sure your passport is valid… and all the other stuff. I know I probably should have told you earlier, considering you have only a few days to pack. And it's just for the weekend so it's not too long of a trip but…”

You settled your hands at the nape of his neck, playing with his hair, "It's perfect. But…what about you?"

He hesitated, then smiled. “You know how I fly out tomorrow? I'll be in Copenhagen for a few days and I'm gonna try to come see you. I can't promise anything but I swear I'll try. I just didn't wanna miss your birthday.” His gaze held yours, steady and sure. “So I thought I’d bring you closer to me.”

Your eyes were wide as you searched his, "That's insane. You're…insane."

"I know." He laughed, hand stroking your back, "You make me a little crazy."

You hugged him so tight you thought you might cry again, still sat on his lap in just your underwear, “Thank you. I don’t even know what to say. You're spoiling me so much. First, you give me the best orgasm of my life…and now this. I feel like a princess or something."

At your words, he laughed, "The best of your life, huh?"

You smiled, nodding, "Mmh."

His fingers grabbed your chin, pulling you in for a kiss as he mumbled, "We can make that happen more."

You kissed him back leisurely. He held you in his lap, whispering against your lips, "So you'll go right?"

"Of course I will. If you're not gonna be in Seoul, then what am I gonna do here anyway?"

He laughed, squeezing your thighs, "Exactly."

Your gaze searched his, heart still pounding from this, "No one has ever done anything like this for me."

He didn't say anything, a smile tugging at his lips. You could hear his heartbeat quicken, and then you felt him harden under you. Embarrassed, he apologised, "Shit. I'm sorry. It's…not appropriate, but you're sitting on top of me and god, you look so pretty after crying, and you're saying all of these things…”

Your lips curved up, kissing him, "Is that true?"

Each movement only made him twitch under you, pupils dilating to black, "I can't help it."

"That's really hot, Hyun."

His eyebrows shot up expectantly, and he looked adorable, "Yeah?"

You tugged at his sweatpants, and his eyes widened, "What are you doing?"

"What do you think?" You smiled, kissing his mouth, "Returning the favor."

His lips curved into the prettiest smile, eyes blown wide in adoration. You couldn't help it either. You buried your face into his neck, hugging him again so tight your chest ached. It felt like this had always been your life, the way he held you to him, as you sat in his lap in just your underwear, legs interwined.

You must have used up all the luck in the world because at this moment, you were the luckiest girl in the world.

»»————-

masterlist ⇒

Jisung never asked for the proximity. He never asked to know the way your voice rises when you're tipsy or how you only sing when you thinks no one can hear. But he does. He knows. He knows you eat too many frozen waffles and tha tyour microwave beeps twice before you remember to take shit out. He knows the name of your boyfriend, the sound of your laugh when you’re trying too hard, and worse—

The exact pitch of your moans when you’re faking it.

Because you fake it. Every damn time.

And he would know. He’s had the misfortune of being hard at 2AM with your paper-thin walls pressed against his back and that sorry excuse for sex filtering through his second-hand studio monitors like a mockery of porn.

It’s always the same: breathy gasps, your boyfriend’s awkward grunting, the bed springs squeaking like hell, and then—

“Oh my god, yeah, just like that...”

Flat. Perfunctory. The kind of moan that sounds practiced. Rehearsed. Completely unconvincing.

Jisung rolls his eyes and turns the volume up on his mix.

Not because it bothers him. Not because he cares.

It’s just distracting.

He’s got better things to do than think about the pretty girl next door faking orgasms like it’s a part-time job.

Like finish this track. Like land an actual gig. Like figure out how the fuck he’s going to keep affording rent in a city that eats people alive and doesn’t even burp after.

He’s not interested.

He’s not.

Except—

Sometimes he wonders what it would sound like if you meant it.

What you’d sound like if someone took their time. If someone made you come for real, dragged it out of your with fingers in your hair and lips on your neck and the kind of steady, brutal rhythm that doesn’t stop until you’re shaking.

What you’d sound like if it were him.

Jisung curses under his breath and drags his headphones off.

His eyes are dry. His dick’s half-hard. His track’s going nowhere.

Cool.

Maybe he just needs to… do something. Anything. Something mundane. Something that reminds him he’s a functioning adult with a trash bin and a spine and better things to focus on than the soft moans of the girl next door and the way they don’t sound quite right.

He grabs the overstuffed trash bag by the door, ties it with too much force, and makes a beeline for the hallway before he can talk himself out of it.

The fluorescent lights hum. The elevator’s broken again. Everything smells vaguely like burnt toast and someone’s fruity shampoo.

This building is hell.

He loves it.

Jisung drops the bag down the chute, lingers a second too long just to feel the rush of cold air against his face, then heads back.

He’s barely two doors away from home when he sees you.

You’re standing outside your apartment, arms crossed over your chest, loose sweatshirt slipping off one shoulder like it’s been a long night. Your boyfriend—Jason? Jared? Justin?—is leaning in too close, his mouth moving fast. Jisung can’t make out the words, but the tone’s familiar. Sharp. Defensive.

The boyfriend tries to kiss you.

You turn your face away.

Jisung doesn’t mean to stop walking. His feet just… do.

“I said I’m tired,” you mutter.

“Oh, you’re tired?” the guy snaps, way too loud for this dingy little hallway. “You weren’t tired twenty minutes ago when you were riding my dick, were you?”

Jesus.

Jisung should keep walking. Should disappear into his apartment and mind his business like he always does.

But instead, he just—

“Hey.”

His voice comes out cracked around the edges, like it hasn’t been used in a while. Which is accurate. He hasn’t really spoken to anyone in three days. Not unless you count the talking he does into the mic when he’s laying down verses at 3AM.

You both turn to look at him.

Jisung tries to smile.

It’s more of a grimace.

“You, uh…” he clears his throat, glancing at you instead of the walking ego next to you. “You okay?”

You hesitate.

The boyfriend doesn’t.

“Who the fuck are you?”

Jisung shoves his hands deeper into his hoodie pocket. “Neighbor.”

The guy blinks, then laughs. “Oh. So you’re the one blasting that emo SoundCloud shit through the wall every night?”

Jisung winces. A breath stutters out of him like he’s been lightly slapped.

Then he notices it—you wince, too. The tiniest flicker of guilt flashing across your face, so fast he almost misses it.

And yeah. Okay.

That stings more than it should.

“I didn’t say it was shit,”you mumble under your breath, clearly meant only for your own conscience.

“Don’t worry,” Jisung says quickly, forcing a light tone as he scratches the back of his neck. “It’s fine. Totally fair. Some of my stuff is… uh. Kinda dogshit.”

The boyfriend grins like he’s just won something.

“Glad we agree. Thought I was gonna have to explain how sound works to a wannabe DJ.”

Jisung opens his mouth—then closes it again.

Not worth it.

Definitely not worth it.

Except you’re still looking at him. Still standing there with your arms folded tight, sweatshirt slipping down further. And your face—

There’s something in it. Not pity. Not sympathy.

More like… regret.

He hates that it softens him.

The boyfriend, oblivious, barrels on. “Anyway, next time you feel like giving a concert at four in the morning, maybe wait until someone asks.”

“Next time you feel like giving headboard percussion lessons at two,” Jisung mutters, “maybe make sure she actually comes.”

The words leave his mouth before his brain catches up.

Instant silence.

You gasp. Cover it with your hand, like you’re trying not to laugh—or scream.

The boyfriend just stares at him.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

Jisung shrugs, already stepping toward his apartment door. His hands are shaking a little, but he keeps his voice light.

“I mean, the moaning’s impressive. Real Oscar-worthy shit. But you’d think a guy who talks that much would at least know when he’s not doing it right.”

“You little—”

“Hey, man.” Jisung turns back for half a second, nodding at him with a crooked, tired smile. “If I can tell through the wall that she’s faking it, that’s not on her. That’s on you.”

He shuts the door behind him before the guy can even finish winding up his insult.

Click.

Deadbolt.

Silence.

Except for the thundering in his chest.

Jisung exhales hard, forehead thunking against the door. “What the fuck did I just do?”

He sinks down to the floor like his legs have given up. Which, to be fair, they kind of have.

This isn’t him. This isn’t what he does.

He doesn't talk back. Doesn’t mouth off. Doesn’t insert himself into other people’s messy lives—especially not yours. He barely speaks to delivery guys. Half his social life happens through a pop filter.

And yet.

“You’d think a guy who talks that much would at least know when he’s not doing it right.”

God. It was kind of funny.

But still—Jesus.

Jisung scrubs both hands over his face, embarrassment curling in his gut like a hangover.

Across the wall, he hears footsteps. Muffled shouting. The boyfriend’s voice, sharp with wounded ego. And then—

The unmistakable slam of a door.

Silence.

No more voices. No more fake moans. No more anything.

Jisung doesn’t move.

Eventually, when the silence stays long enough to feel safe, he hauls himself up off the floor. Brushes dust from his sweats. Tries not to replay what he said out loud like a greatest hits compilation of shit he absolutely should not have said out loud.

____________________________________________________________________________

He sleeps like shit.

Of course he does.

And when morning comes, it hits in a wave of cheap sunlight and neighborly noise.

He hears your usual routine unfold with near-perfect familiarity: fridge door opening, kettle clicking on, cabinet slam (twice—you always forget which one holds the instant coffee). Muffled cursing. Zipper. Then keys jingling against the lock.

He listens as you step out, lets the door fall shut behind you, and walks down the hall toward the stairs.

Everything is the same.

And none of it is.

Because this time, when you leave,your footsteps pause right outside his door.

Just for a second. A breath.

Then gone.

He groans and pulls the blanket over his face.

The rest of the day moves in its usual haze. Jisung does what he always does: noodles with a half-finished beat, eats instant ramen over the sink, ignores three texts from Chan asking for an update on the mix. His headphones stay around his neck most of the day, never quite getting used.

By sunset, the hallway is quiet again.

The beat he’s working on is shit. He knows it’s shit. He keeps tweaking it anyway.

It’s not even music anymore. Just sound. A bunch of clunky, disjointed loops that won’t glue together no matter how many times he messes with the tempo.

He’s just about to scrap the whole thing when—

Knock knock.

He freezes.

It’s soft. Measured. Hesitant.

He doesn't move right away—just sits there in his desk chair like someone just rang the doorbell in a horror movie. Then he leans back slightly, just far enough to peek over the edge of his laptop.

Another knock.

His heart does something stupid.

He stands. Pads barefoot to the door. Checks the peephole.

Of course it’s you.

You’re standing there in leggings and an oversized hoodie, arms cradling a plastic container like its armor. Your hair's pulled back, face bare. You look—

Small.

Unsure.

You lift one hand and knock again, even softer this time.

He hesitates a second longer, then opens the door.

Not all the way. Just a crack.

Your head jerks up. You blink. “Hi.”

He blinks back. “Uh. Hey.”

You shift your weight. “Can I—uh, are you busy?”

He opens the door a little wider, eyes flicking down to the container you’re holding. “No. I mean. Just… failing at music.”

That gets the faintest smile out of you.

“Right. Yeah. I, um…” You hold out the container. “These are for you.”

He stares. “Cookies?”

“Apology cookies.”

There’s a beat.

Then:

“I didn’t bake them,” You admit. “But I did walk two blocks to the overpriced organic place to get them. So. Effort was made.”

He blinks down at the container again, like it might disappear if he stares hard enough.

“Effort noted,” he mumbles.

You shift again, hugging your arms tighter. “You don’t have to eat them. I just—felt weird not saying thank you. Or sorry. You didn’t have to do what you did last night.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, well. Felt weird not saying something. So.”

You stand there in the doorway for a second, both of you clearly unsure of what to do now that the thing you came to say has been said. He should probably invite you in. Or take the cookies. Or smile, or make a joke, or something.

Instead, he clears his throat.

You jump in to fill the silence. “Also, just so we’re clear—I didn’t actually mean the SoundCloud thing. That was… low-hanging fruit.”

He raises an eyebrow. “So you’ve listened?”

That earns him a flush, bright and instant. “Not on purpose.”

“Wow.” He presses a hand to his chest. “What a glowing endorsement.”

“I’m just saying—I wasn’t trying to be a bitch. That wasn’t fair.” Your gaze softens. “Your stuff is good. Better than good, actually. The one with the—uh—strings and that lo-fi beat underneath?”

His eyebrows raise. “Track twelve?”

She nods.

His stomach flips. It’s ridiculous. But that track had been sitting unfinished for weeks, like something he wasn’t sure anyone but him would ever care about. And now she’s standing here—face bare, voice quiet—quoting it back to him like it meant something.

He doesn’t know what to say.

For someone who spends hours arranging syllables and syncopation for fun, it’s laughable how words immediately bail on him when they might actually matter.

“You, uh…” He shifts the container to one hand. “You’ve got a good ear.”

You smile. It’s small. A little sheepish. “I’ve got shit walls.”

That makes him laugh—quiet and surprised.

“I should let you hear more sometime,” he says, before he can talk himself out of it.

You tilt your head. “Yeah?”

“I mean—only if you want to. No pressure. I just thought…”

He trails off, scratching at the seam of his sleeve.

“I’d like that,” You say.

And he doesn’t know what to do with the warmth that blooms in his chest. It’s not huge. It’s not loud. But it’s there—steady and unexpected, curling under his ribs.

“Cool,” he says, voice softer now. “I’ll, uh. Let you know next time I make something new.”

You nod, then shift your weight backward—just enough to start retreating. But not before your eyes flick to his again, briefly, like you want to say something else.

He thinks might.

But all you do is smile—small and real—and take one step back towards your door.

“Goodnight, Han.”

His name on your lips feels like something it shouldn’t. Like a secret.

He nods. “Night.”

And then you turn. Cross the narrow hallway back to your apartment, keys already in hand. you hesitate at the door for half a second—he notices that, because of course he notices that—then slides the key in, disappears inside, and lets the door fall shut behind you with a soft click.

He watches the empty hallway for a beat longer.

He stares at his own door for a moment after he closes it, forehead pressed against the wood like the words you left behind are still floating in the air.

Goodnight, Han.

He hadn’t realized how nice his name could sound until you said it like that.

It echoes in his chest. Warms something that’s been cold for a while.

When he finally moves, it’s slow. He sets the cookies on the kitchen counter, grabs a pen, and flips open the nearest notebook—one he’s barely touched in weeks.

And he writes:

Track idea: starts quiet. Voice sample, maybe hers? Lo-fi beat behind it, soft keys. Let it build. Don’t let it rush. Let it breathe.

He underlines let it breathe three times.

Then he puts his headphones on.

And for the first time in a long time—

The music comes easy.

______________________________________________________________

You never planned on being friends with Han.

The boy next door with the quiet mouth and loud headphones. The recluse who only seemed to exist in studio beats and half-heard melodies through the wall. You knew his name before you knew his face—Han, printed on a mailbox slot too narrow.

Now he nods at you in the hallway. Smiles, even. You’ve learned that they’re rare, his smiles—crooked and shy, like they’re still trying to figure themselves out. You’ve started waiting for them.

Some mornings, you catch him in the elevator, hoodie pulled over messy hair, a takeout coffee in one hand and sleep in his eyes. You say hi. He says hey. He always holds the door for you.

It’s nothing. But it’s not nothing.

And then, one night—it’s something.

It starts with your friend’s voice, high and nervous. “I swear I had your keys. I swear they were just—fuck, okay, check your bag again—”

You’re too drunk to care. Or think. Or stand up straight

Your bag is wide open on the hallway floor, a war zone of receipts, gum wrappers, lip glosses with no caps, and an unopened pack of hot sauce packets you swear you didn’t steal from Taco Bell. Your friend is crouched beside it, frantically digging like she’s searching for buried treasure.

And that’s when the elevator dings.

You don’t even bother turning around. You’re too busy trying to balance one heel on top of a rogue pack of gum like it’s a tightrope.

Your friend, however, freezes. Then straightens sharply, whisper-hissing, “Oh shit—it’s your neighbor.”

You blink. “Which one?”

“The hot one.”

That gets your attention.

You turn—wobble—and there he is: Han. Grocery bag in one hand, hood halfway off, hair a little windblown. His eyes flick from your friend to you, then to the scene at your feet: your life in full chaotic display.

He pauses. Then says, with the softest little blink of disbelief,

“Uh… everything okay?”

You blink right back at him.

Then lean toward your friend—not subtly, not gracefully, and definitely not quietly—and whisper at full volume:

“You’re right, he is hot.”

It echoes.

Down the hall. Into the vents. Probably into the next dimension.

Your friend claps a hand over her mouth.

Han stares at you, frozen mid-step, grocery bag dangling like it no longer belongs to him.

You sway slightly. Flash him a winning, drunken grin. “Hi.”

His ears go pink.

He recovers with a cough and a quiet, “Hey.”

Your friend steps in, trying to salvage the moment. “She, um… lost her keys. And maybe her filter. And maybe also her last three brain cells.”

“I have at least five brain cells,” you argue, eyes still locked on Han like you’ve just spotted the last bottle of tequila on Earth. “Maybe six.”

“Okay,” your friend says sharply, grabbing your arm before you can say anything worse. “She’s drunk. She needs to sleep. You’re right next door. I trust you, I think. Will you—can you—?”

“I’ve got her,” Han says, voice gentle. Too gentle. Like he’s trying not to laugh but also trying not to die of second-hand embaressment.

He steps forward, freeing his hand long enough to steady you when you stumble again. His grip is warm, careful. You immediately lean into it like he’s a weighted blanket.

“Wow,” you murmur. “Strong and polite. A dangerous combo.”

He just smiles—shy and crooked, the way he always does when he doesn’t know where to put his face. “You good to walk?”

“No promises.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘maybe,’” he says, easing your arm over his shoulder.

Your friend sighs, already backing toward the stairs. “If she tries to seduce you, just tell her she cries at Disney movies and once got drunk and tried to fistfight a traffic cone.”

“I won, though,” you shout after her.

Han chuckles.

Your friend throws one last suspicious look over her shoulder, mouthing to Han, text me from her phone if she throws up, before disappearing down the stairwell.

And now it’s just you and Han.

And the heat of your skin pressed to his side.

And the wild, buzzing thought in your brain that you’ve never been this close to him before.

He shifts his weight. Glances down at you.

“You seriously okay?”

You nod. “I feel great.”

“You say that while using me as a crutch.”

“Yeah. But like—a sexy crutch.”

He laughs, head ducking slightly like he’s embarrassed for both of you.

But he doesn’t let go.

And he doesn’t stop smiling.

Han’s arm stays steady around you as he unlocks his door, grocery bag still dangling awkwardly from one wrist. He guides you inside carefully, flicking on the lights with his elbow and nudging the door shut behind you.

You blink, taking it in through a haze: tiny apartment, warm lighting, a bunch of wires and gear by the desk, no couch in sight.

He catches you swaying and steers you toward a plain padded chair by the wall. “Here, sit for a sec.”

You plop down like a ragdoll.

Han crouches in front of you instantly, gently tugging your heels off one at a time like he’s afraid you’ll tip over trying. “You good?” he murmurs, setting your shoes aside neatly. “Anything feel weird? Dizzy?”

You grin at him. “You’re so worried.”

He flushes instantly. “I just—yeah. I mean. You’re really drunk.”

“Yeah, but like, in a fun way.”

“Still,” he mutters, already handing you a bottle of water from the counter. “Drink this. Slowly.”

You take it. “You’re like a… a boyfriend. But like, a really responsible one. Like—tax-paying, call-my-mom-for-me energy.”

Han snorts and gets up, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay, you’re done talking now.”

“I’m not!” you call after him as he sets the grocery bag down. “I’m very interesting!”

He just shakes his head, trying (and failing) to hide his smile.

When you blink again, he’s in front of you, holding out a hand. “C’mon. Bed’s this way.”

You pause. “You only have one bed.”

His ears go pink. “You can take it.”

You squint. “Where are you gonna sleep?”

He shrugs, awkward. “Floor. I’ve got blankets.”

“That’s tragic.”

“I’ve survived worse.”

You pout but don’t argue as he pulls you gently to your feet again. You’re warm, wobbly, still clutching the water bottle like a security blanket, and when he steers you toward the bed, you barely resist at all.

He helps you sit, then hands you a second pillow and adjusts the blanket like he’s not trying to combust over how soft you look there. He’s halfway to standing up again when you tug the edge of the blanket higher and murmur:

“Thanks, Han.”

He’s still standing near the edge of the bed, half in the dark, blinking at you like you’ve just short-circuited every single brain cell in his head.

His voice is a little uneven when he says, “Y-Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

You smile at him, all cozy and soft, limbs draped across his sheets like you belong there.

He doesn’t even know where to put his hands.

“I, uh—” He scratches at the back of his neck. “I still have a bit of work to do. Just mixing something. I’ll, um. Be over here.”

You blink up at him. “What kinda work?”

“Music stuff.” His voice cracks a little, and he clears his throat immediately. “I won’t bother you. You can—yeah, you can just pass out. All good.”

“You don’t mind me on your bed?”

Han stares at you for a second too long.

Then jerks his gaze away. “No. I—I mean. No, definitely not. Like, at all.”

He fumbles over to his desk, nearly knocking over a pair of headphones, and drops into the chair like his legs have forgotten how to bend properly.

You snuggle deeper into the mattress, dragging the blanket over your legs with a dramatic sigh. “This is comfy. You have good taste in sheets.”

“Thanks,” he mutters, clicking around on his laptop even though the track’s already loaded. 

You giggle.

He pretends not to notice.

You don’t see it—but his eyes flick to you constantly. Quick little glances when you shift, or sigh, or tuck your face into the pillow like it’s your new favorite thing. He can’t not look.

You yawn, cheek squished into his pillow. “You smell nice.”

He makes a sound that’s somewhere between a cough and a quiet plea for mercy. “You should, uh. Try to sleep.”

“Mhm.”

You don’t move.

Just keep lying there. All sweet and sleepy and tangled up in his blankets, on his bed, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

And even though he should be focusing—he really, really should—

Han can’t stop smiling.

He turns back to his screen and presses play, the familiar beat fills his headphones, looping low and steady.

It’s not done—not even close. The layers are uneven, the bass too soft, the melody still fighting to find its place. But it’s something. And tonight, it’s the only thing keeping his hands busy while his mind refuses to stop thinking about you in his bed.

You’re quiet for a while.

He thinks maybe you’ve finally fallen asleep. You haven’t said anything in minutes, and your breathing’s slow, almost even. He lets himself glance over his shoulder.

You’re still awake.

Eyes open. Watching him.

You shift slightly under the blanket, cheek still pressed into his pillow. Your voice is soft, drowsy. “Can I hear it?”

He blinks. “What?”

“The track you’re working on,” you murmur. “Can I listen?”

Han’s heart does a somersault. Or maybe a backflip. Hard to tell through the static in his chest.

He turns fully in his chair. “Now?”

You nod, slow and lazy. “You promised. You said I could listen next time you made something new.”

Right. He had said that.

But not this one.

Not track twelve.

He fidgets with the headphone wire. “It’s not that one.”

You blink at him, confused.

“The one with the lo-fi strings,” he explains, voice quieter now. “Track twelve. I still haven’t finished it.”

“Oh.”

You don’t sound disappointed. Just curious.

He rubs a hand over his face, then offers a crooked little smile. “But you can hear this one. If you want.”

You nod again, eyes fluttering half-shut like the night is finally catching up to you.

He hesitates.

Then gently unplugs the headphones from the jack, letting the soft sound of the track fill the room.

It’s quiet. Dreamy. Bare bones but beautiful—slow, pulsing synth layered under a simple piano loop. There’s a vocal sample buried under the mix, something wordless and airy, like a breath that never ends.

You close your eyes fully this time, listening.

And Han watches you—watches the way your body relaxes into the sound, how your lips part just slightly, like the music is pulling something from you even in sleep.

He turns back to the screen, fingers hovering over the trackpad.

You speak again, barely above a whisper.

“It’s sad,” you murmur.

He doesn’t answer.

“Not in a bad way,” you add quickly. “Just… it sounds like it’s missing something. Like it’s looking for something.”

Han swallows.

Yeah.

That’s exactly what it is.

He stares at the waveform on his screen and says, very softly, “I think it’s trying to say something I don’t know how to say yet.”

You don’t reply. Not right away.

When you do, your voice is already trailing off into sleep. “You don’t have to say it. It’s already in the music.”

And then you're still.

Breathing even. Eyes shut.

Han doesn’t move for a long time.

Just sits in the soft blue glow of his screen, heartbeat slowing down to match yours, wondering how the hell he’s supposed to finish a song when the thing it’s missing is falling asleep five feet away.

______________________________________________________________

It’s been months since that first night.

Since the couchless sleepover, since the drunken key fiasco, since you fell asleep to the sound of his unfinished song.

And in that time, Han has come out of his shell in the slowest, sweetest way possible.

At first, he was shy. Still the hoodie-wearing recluse with his eyes glued to Ableton and his words tucked somewhere behind clenched teeth.

But then he started showing up more. At your door with takeout. With headphones and half-finished demos. With quiet, tentative smiles that stretched wider the more you smiled back.

You got to know him.

He told you about Malaysia—about sticky summers and midnight noodles and the way his parents still call twice a week even though they’re oceans apart. He told you how he moved to Korea for college, studied for a year, and then dropped out when he realized his brain was wired for sound, not textbooks.

You told him about your life, too—your parents and their ever-shifting conditions for love, the apartment they still pay for, the degree you’re grinding out just to prove something. To who, you’re not even sure.

And Han—turns out he’s kind of a chatterbox. Once he’s comfortable, the boy talks. About anything. About everything. With his hands, with his whole face. About samples and synths and the absolute travesty that is powdered parmesan.

Now, it’s like this: casual, constant, inevitable.

You crash at his place sometimes—not because you're locked out, but just because. Sometimes you bring your laptop and do homework on his floor. Sometimes you nap in his bed while he works. You keep a toothbrush there now. A hoodie of his has quietly migrated to your closet.

You even invited him to your graduation this spring. “It’s not like my parents are coming,” you’d shrugged, and Han had just blinked at you, then said okay, like it wasn’t the biggest fucking deal.

He still blushes when you call him hot. Still won’t take the bed when you stay over. Still treats you like you might disappear if he lets himself want too much.

And today, you’re at your place—your couch this time, legs tangled together on either end, killing time the way only two people who are too comfortable with each other can.

Lazy game of truth or dare. No real stakes. Just soft laughter and shared snacks and the kind of questions that teeter between teasing and tender.

Han’s fingers are brushing against your ankle, casual and unthinking. The popcorn bowl is somewhere on the floor, long forgotten. You’re both half-reclined, cozy and loose, a tangle of limbs and friendship that’s been threatening to become something else for weeks now.

You’ve already dared him to do his worst celebrity impression, and he’d made you sing a jingle from one of your old childhood commercials. The kind of dumb, lazy game that only works when you trust someone enough not to twist the blade when things get close.

Now it’s his turn.

“Truth,” you say, yawning, stretching like a cat in the sun. “I’m feeling vulnerable.”

He gives you a look. One brow raised, fingers tapping thoughtfully against his thigh. “Okay. What was your best orgasm?”

You blink.

Then laugh.

He flushes instantly. “Shit—was that too far? I thought we were in the spicy round.”

“No, no,” you say, waving a hand, trying to keep your smile light. “It’s fair.”

But you don’t answer right away.

You sit there for a second, fiddling with the hem of your oversized sleep shirt. His question settles somewhere low in your stomach—not uncomfortable, just… exposed. Like a truth you’ve learned to laugh off before anyone can look too closely.

You glance at him, then say it—half-teasing, like a joke you’ve told a few times before.

“I wouldn’t know.”

Han blinks. “You wouldn’t—?”

You shrug. “Never had one. Not a good one. Not any, actually.”

There’s a pause. His brows lift, lips parting slightly, but you beat him to it with a raised hand and a crooked grin.

“I know, I know. Tragic. I’m either defective or cursed. It’s a toss-up.”

He doesn’t laugh.

You thought he might—just to lighten the mood. Maybe roll with the joke, keep it casual.

But Han’s expression softens instead. Slowly. Like he’s putting something together.

But Han’s expression softens instead. Slowly. Like he’s putting something together.

“That’s not funny,” he says, voice quiet. Barely a wrinkle of sound between you.

You blink. “It’s kind of funny.”

“No, it’s not.” He leans in a little, eyes searching yours. “And it’s definitely not true.”

You hold his gaze for a beat longer than you mean to. “Tell that to every guy I’ve slept with.”

He doesn’t smile. Doesn’t flinch. Just says, soft but certain, “They don’t count.”

Something in your chest pulls tight.

You sit back, let out a soft exhale through your nose. Try again, lighter this time. “I mean, at some point, you start to wonder if it’s just you, right? Like maybe I missed a biological memo.”

“You didn’t,” he says, firm now. “You just haven’t been with someone who cared enough to figure you out.”

You snort softly, eyes dropping to his lips before flicking back up. “What, and you do?”

His breath catches, just slightly. But he doesn’t flinch.

“Yeah,” he says. Simple. Sure. “I do.”

You go quiet.

It’s not the answer that surprises you—it’s how steady he is when he says it. Like it’s not even a question in his mind. Like he’s already imagined it, already decided what he’d do if you ever let him.

That steadiness makes your throat go tight.

“Okay,” you say, voice quiet. “Then what would you do?”

Han shifts slightly, eyes locked on yours, his expression unreadable. Focused.

“I’d start slow,” he says, and it doesn’t sound like a line—it sounds like a plan. “Let you get used to being touched in a way that’s not… performative.”

You blink.

He leans in, just a little. Not close enough to touch. Not yet.

“I’d watch your face,” he continues, softer now, “and actually pay attention. I’d figure out what makes you squirm. What makes your breath catch. What makes you ask for more.”

Your pulse thrums at your throat, hot and sharp.

“I’d talk to you,” he murmurs. “Tell you what I’m doing. Tell you how fucking good you look while I’m doing it. Make sure you know every second that it’s about you.”

Your pulse thrums at your throat, hot and sharp.

You don’t say anything. You can’t.

Because Han is looking at you like he already has you spread out in his mind. Like he’s memorizing every microreaction, storing them away like he might need them later. Like he’s already tasting the sound you’ll make when he finally breaks you open.

Your voice comes out low. Barely there.

“That’s a lot of attention for one orgasm.”

Han’s mouth twitches. Not a smile. Not quite yet.

“I’m not aiming for one.”

You feel it in your chest—in your spine—the way his voice sinks into you. Low. Purposeful. Like he’s already in your skin, like the words themselves are a touch.

You can’t breathe.

He’s so close now, and still—still—not touching you. He could. He should. Your body is already leaning into the heat of him, legs still curled beneath you, the hem of your sleep shirt brushing high on your thighs. But he doesn’t move.

“Have you… done this before?”

He blinks. “Made someone come?”

You nod, quick, almost shy.

“Yeah.” His mouth lifts at one corner. “Why?”

You hesitate, eyes flicking over his face. “I… thought you were a virgin.”

Han blinks. Then he laughs—a soft, breathy thing that curls low in his throat.

“Wow,” he murmurs, rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks already going red. “That’s, uh… new.”

You’re not teasing anymore. Not really. Not with the way your eyes keep flicking over him—his mouth, his hands, the pink creeping up the slope of his neck. Not with how you’re sitting up straighter, how your thighs squeeze just slightly together without meaning to.

He notices.

And it flusters him, of course it does—he’s Han, after all. All nervous energy and soft-spoken charm. But there’s something else underneath it too. Something steady. Something you didn’t see before.

“You really think I’ve spent this much time listening to you fake it through the walls and didn’t fantasize about doing it better?”

Your breath catches. Hard.

His gaze doesn’t drop. Doesn’t falter.

And suddenly, you’re seeing him for what he is—really seeing him.

The slightly older boy next door. The dropout with big hands and bigger dreams. The quiet music producer who hides behind humor but notices everything. The same Han who always opened his door, always gave you the bed, always walked on the street side of the sidewalk—but now you realize he’s been wanting you the whole time.

And you missed it.

You look at him now—and you feel it.

The shift.

Because he’s still Han. Still hoodie-clad and sweet and overly cautious.

But he’s also a man.

And god, it’s hitting you all at once.

The way his eyes haven’t left your mouth. The way he says things like I’m not aiming for one with such quiet, devastating confidence. The way he can be so careful with you and still make your skin burn like he’s already touched you everywhere.

You swallow hard.

“So,” you murmur, voice dipping low, “you’ve done this before.”

His fingers twitch where they rest against his thigh. “Yeah.”

“How many girls?”

He blushes harder at that. Clears his throat. “I mean, not a lot.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“I’m not—” he fumbles, flustered now, voice high-pitched with embarrassment, “—like, I’m not some sex god, okay?”

You giggle. Can’t help it.

He glares, weakly. “Don’t look at me like that.”

You lean in. Let your voice soften. “Like what?”

He shifts under your gaze, eyes flicking down again before returning to yours. “Like you’re surprised.”

“I am,” you whisper.

And you are.

Surprised by the heat in your belly. Surprised by the tension in his jaw, the way he’s not looking away now. Surprised by the fact that the Han you thought you knew—the one who panicked over burnt rice and once apologized to a houseplant—is sitting in front of you, cheeks flushed, voice low, practically thrumming with restraint.

And the restraint is unraveling. You can see it. You can feel it.

His hand is still resting on his thigh. Tense. Useless.

You want it on you.

He must know, must feel the shift in the air, because he breathes out through his nose—shaky, controlled—and finally moves.

Not to kiss you.

Not yet.

Just slides closer, knees brushing yours. Hands braced on either side of your thighs like he’s holding himself back from climbing into your lap. Like if he gets too close, he won’t be able to stop.

His voice is soft when it comes. Careful.

“I don’t wanna mess this up.”

You blink. “What?”

“This,” he says, eyes darting between yours. “You. Us.”

Your heart kicks.

“I’m serious,” he adds. “If you want me to stop, I will. Even if I’ve already started. Even if you change your mind in the middle. I need you to know that.”

You just look at him.

At his flushed cheeks, his trembling fingers gripping the couch cushion, the way his eyes won’t stay still—darting to your mouth, your thighs, your eyes again.

You don’t know how to say what’s clawing up your throat. Don’t know how to explain that you’ve never felt like this. Like you could fall apart and not have to put yourself back together alone.

So instead, you reach for him.

You thread your fingers through his, bring his hand to your thigh—bare skin under the edge of your sleep shirt—and press it there, warm and waiting.

His breath stutters.

“Okay,” you whisper.

His breath stutters.

That’s all it takes.

His fingers flex against your thigh—just a twitch, nothing urgent. But the heat of them sinks in deep. You can feel how careful he’s being, how tightly he’s holding the leash on himself, like he doesn’t trust what’ll happen if he moves too fast.

You tilt your hips slightly. Just enough.

He moves.

Slides his hand higher, beneath the hem of your sleep shirt. Knuckles grazing soft skin, the inside of your thigh, and you’re already trembling. The anticipation is thick—so much thicker than anything that’s come before it. Your body’s aching and he hasn’t even touched you where you need it yet.

Han breathes out slowly. You can hear the effort it takes not to rush.

His fingers reach your panties.

They’re soaked. Clinging to you. And he makes a sound in the back of his throat when he feels it—somewhere between a sigh and a groan, like it’s hurting him, how wet you already are.

“You’re shaking,” he whispers.

“I’m trying not to.”

“You don’t have to,” he says, and leans in to kiss the corner of your mouth. “You can just let me take care of it.”

And you do.

You sink into the cushions and let his hand keep climbing. Let it trail over skin that’s already too hot, too tight, too aware. The hem of your shirt rides up over your hips as he moves, exposing soft skin and damp fabric.

He touches you through your panties first. Just a single stroke—up and down, slow, deliberate.

You jolt.

Your thighs twitch. Your hips tilt into his hand before you even mean to.

His fingers are steady. Gentle. No fumbling, no testing limits just to say he did. He strokes over the soaked cotton with maddening patience, slow enough that your body’s buzzing before he even slides them aside.

He strokes over the soaked cotton with maddening patience, slow enough that your body’s buzzing before he even slides them aside.

When he does, it’s with a breathless little sound—almost like awe.

“Fuck,” he murmurs, voice low and tight. “You’re so wet already.”

You shiver.

He doesn’t ask permission again. He doesn’t need to. Your legs fall open on instinct, your body already offering itself up like it’s been waiting for this. For him.

He dips his fingers into you with quiet care—just the first two, slow and unhurried, and it’s so much. Not just the stretch, not just the slick slide of it—it’s the way he groans like he can feel how good you feel around him. Like your body is turning him on just by existing.

“Holy shit,” he breathes. “How has no one made you cum?”

You whimper.

“Seriously,” he says, fingers curling slightly inside you, rubbing against that spot that makes your toes curl. “You’ve got the prettiest fucking pussy I’ve ever seen. Wet and warm and just—fuck, baby.”

Your hips jolt when he says it—baby—and he notices. His mouth quirks.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, watching your face like it’s giving him instructions. “You like that. Being talked to while I fuck you with my fingers?”

You moan—helpless, high-pitched—and your hand shoots down to grab his wrist.

He stills immediately. “Too much?”

You shake your head. Or maybe you nod. You don’t even know anymore—your brain’s barely holding on, your body dragging you under, soaking up everything he gives like it’s the first drop of water in a drought.

He watches your reaction like it’s gospel. Like every twitch and gasp is holy.

“Thought so,” he says, and starts to move again—slow, controlled pumps of his fingers, careful not to lose that rhythm now that he’s found what works. The way your walls clench when he curls. The way your hips chase him when he retreats. The way your breath hitches when his palm drags across your clit just a little too hard.

And god, he uses it all.

“Fuck,” he mutters, eyes glued to where he’s working you open. “If this pussy was mine, I wouldn’t be able to leave you alone.”

You gasp.

“I’d keep you like this every night,” he says, voice thick now. “Stuffed, dripping, begging for it. Just like this.”

You keen, head falling back against the cushions, thighs straining around his wrist. Another twist of his fingers, another filthy curl, and you’re spiraling again—clenching, grinding, chasing something you’ve never actually caught before.

But it’s still not enough.

Close, so close. You can feel it in your gut, in the burn behind your eyes, in the way your whole body draws tight like a wire about to snap. But then it slips, slithers away like it always does, leaving you aching and wrung out and panting like you’ve been running in circles.

Han doesn’t stop.

He slows, sure. Eases off that pressure like he knows—like he felt the way you were peaking and watched it fall apart all over again.

Your breath stutters. Your hands tremble where they’re gripping the couch cushions. Your whole body shakes with the frustration of it.

Han looks fucking thrilled.

“Shit,” he whispers, eyes glued to the slick mess between your legs. “You’re gonna be a fucking problem, huh?

You whimper—shaky, half-desperate—and try to pull your legs closed, but his free hand slides up your thigh and keeps them open. He’s still panting, still hard in his sweats, and yet somehow entirely focused on you.

Your voice comes out broken. “I can’t—fuck, Han, I was so close—”

“I know, baby,” he murmurs, leaning over you. His fingers finally slip free, soaked and shining, and he brings them to his mouth like it’s nothing. Like tasting you is just a thing he does between breaths. “You’re so fucking pretty can’t believe no one’s ever made you come.”

He sucks one finger between his lips, humming low in his throat, and your entire body jerks.

He grins around his knuckle. Blushy. Sweet. Still Han, somehow—except his eyes are dark now, slow-burning, locked onto you with intent.

And when he speaks, it’s not teasing. It’s reverent.

“I knew you’d taste good,” he murmurs, dragging his hand down your thigh again. “Didn’t think you’d ruin me this fast, though.”

You squirm, still reeling from the touch of his fingers, still aching from how close you came—how it slipped just out of reach. Your panties are somewhere around your knees now, tangled and damp, and your thighs are trembling despite the warmth of the room.

But Han doesn’t give you time to settle.

He drops back down between your legs like it’s instinct.

Like he belongs there.

You brace for it—his mouth, his tongue—but nothing prepares you for how intentional it is.

Because when he licks you, it’s not just lust. It’s devotion.

The first press of his tongue is slow, hot, drawn out like he’s tasting something forbidden. It drags through your folds, slick and maddening, before he pulls back just slightly and exhales a shaky breath against your cunt like it’s worship.

“Fuck,” he whispers, voice wrecked. “You’re so fucking sweet. So wet—dripping for me, baby.”

Your hips jerk. A soft moan tears from your throat, helpless and startled.

He hums at the sound. And then his tongue is on you again—lapping, curling, sliding in lazy circles around your clit, not rushed, not rough. Patient.

But it’s overwhelming.

Too much and somehow still not enough.

You gasp, spine arching. Your thighs twitch against his shoulders again and he presses his hands there—holding you open, keeping you still. His grip is firm, grounding. Gentle only in contrast to the way he eats you.

He groans low when your hips roll, when your slick coats his lips and chin. Like it turns him on more than anything else. Like this is the part he needs.

He devours you like he’s starved for it.

Like he’s been thinking about this—you—for longer than he’s willing to admit. Tongue slow but deliberate, savoring every stroke, every gasp you give him. He doesn’t speak now, doesn’t need to. The sounds alone—your moans, the wet suck of his mouth, the way your breath stutters every time he flattens his tongue against your clit—say enough.

But it’s your reactions that do it. The way your body jumps every time he moves just right. The way your hands scramble for the couch cushions, for him, like you don’t know what else to hold onto. The way your thighs clamp around his head when he groans into your cunt.

That’s when he realizes.

You’ve never been eaten out before.

It hits him all at once—in the way you shiver, in the way your body doesn’t quite know how to take the pleasure he’s giving. There’s something raw about it. Uncharted. Holy.

He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t tease. Just lets the knowledge settle deep in his chest like a vow.

So he slows down. Not to drag it out—to care. To guide you through it.

He pulls back just slightly, presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, then another one, lower, softer. You can feel his breath against your skin, shaky and uneven, like you are unraveling him just by letting him do this.

He kisses down, worshipful, open-mouthed presses of tongue and lips trailing toward where you’re slick and trembling—until he’s back on you, groaning deep in his chest like he needs this to survive.

He laps at your cunt like a man obsessed. Messy, wet, obscene.

His tongue flicks fast over your clit, sloppy and relentless, and when you whimper—high and panicked—his hands tighten on your thighs, dragging them wider, pushing you open like he can’t get enough. His nose presses into the soft swell of you and his mouth won’t stop.

And god—god, the noises.

The slick suck of his mouth, the soft wet licks between your folds, the broken, wanton moans he keeps letting out like your taste is fucking euphoric.

Your thighs are trembling against his cheeks, toes curling against the cushions, hands fisting in the fabric like it’s the only thing keeping you tethered to this plane of existence. Every time you start to come down, he drags you right back up—tongue flicking, then flattening, then sucking.

You’re soaking him. You know it. Can feel the slick mess coating his lips, his chin, now—but he doesn’t care. Doesn’t even flinch. Just dives in deeper, grinds his mouth against you like it’s the only thing that matters.

And maybe it is.

You’ve never made sounds like this before. Never felt anything like this. It’s a full-body unraveling—pleasure so raw and high-pitched it’s almost unbearable. You can’t even find words anymore. You try—gasp out his name, maybe a plea, maybe a warning—but it’s just breath. Just noise.

He hears it anyway.

Groans in response, and the vibration shoots through you—tightens every nerve, every muscle. You feel it everywhere. In your spine, in your belly, in your fucking teeth.

He licks through your folds like he’s trying to commit the shape of you to memory, tongue dragging over your clit in slow, hard laps now—intentional, devastating. One hand lets go of your thigh to slide underneath you, to lift your hips, tilt you toward his mouth like an offering.

Like you’re his altar and he’s ready to worship.

You don’t even realize you're crying until the tears hit your cheeks—silent and sudden, overwhelmed by the sheer weight of it, the depth of it, the relentlessness of him.

Jisung doesn’t notice.

Or maybe he does and just thinks it’s holy.

Because he’s still moaning against your cunt like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Like this is salvation. Like this is his first time, too.

The warmth is unbearable. Sharp and sweet and all-consuming, climbing up your spine in thick, molten waves that won’t stop—won’t let you go. Your muscles are locking up, your breath catching in your throat, your fingers cramping from how tight you're clenching the cushions.

You’re going to break.

You know it.

You want to.

And he just keeps going—tongue pressed flat and firm against your clit now, dragging in slow, filthy circles while his lips suck softly, reverently, like he’s trying to love you apart piece by piece.

You feel it snap somewhere deep inside you.

The heat—the ache—the need—it peaks.

And then it bursts..

Your thighs clamp around his head, your hips jerk off the couch, your moan rips loose from your throat like you’ve been silenced your whole life and this is the only language your body ever needed to speak.

You’re cumming. Hard. Helpless.

Everything pulses—your cunt, your chest, your fingers. Every nerve is alight, every inch of you clenched and shaking, your whole body seized in the grip of something so big you can’t name it.

And Jisung doesn’t stop.

Not when your legs twitch.

Not when your body tries to squirm away.

Not even when you sob his name, high and wrecked, too sensitive to breathe.

He eats it up. Literally.

Groaning low in his throat, nose pressed to your mound, tongue still working your clit like he wants to wring another orgasm out of you before this one’s even ended. You try to stop him, legs trembling, fingers pushing at his hair with barely any strength behind them.

But he just moans again, long and loud and ruined, the vibration shooting straight through your core.

“H-Han—” you gasp, voice cracked and teary.

But he can’t stop. He won’t.

You’ve broken open for him—shattered for him—and it’s like something inside him snapped too. His mouth keeps moving, lapping through your folds like he’s addicted, like he needs the taste of you to live, sucking every drop from your body like he’s trying to memorize it.

You try again to push him off. This time with real effort. A desperate shove, your fingers fisting in his hair and yanking—not hard, not mean, but urgent.

“Han, please—”

He finally pulls back.

Gasps.

His chest is heaving. His mouth is slick and swollen, the lower half of his face soaked in your release, and he blinks up at you like he forgot where he is.

“Shit—fuck, I’m sorry, I—” he pants, voice wrecked, dazed.

Then he looks down.

And groans.

Because you’re still dripping.

Slick pooling out of you, slow and obscene, catching the light as it runs in glistening streaks down the curve of your pussy and the swell of your ass, soaking the couch beneath you.

And he can’t help himself.

His hands slide up your thighs again—possessive, reverent—and before you can stop him, he leans back in.

One long, filthy lick—from your entrance to your clit—slurping up everything you spilled. He moans as it hits his tongue, deep and satisfied, and swirls it around like he’s tasting honey.

He pulls back just far enough to look at you.

Face flushed, lips swollen and slick, chin glossy with your release. His eyes are glassy—fucked-out and starving and soft in a way that shouldn’t match the filth of what he just did to you. But somehow it does.

Somehow, it makes it worse.

He’s panting like he just ran miles. Sweat dampens his curls, his hoodie clings to his chest, and his cock is still straining hard against his sweats—visibly aching. But he doesn’t even look at himself. Doesn’t even care.

He’s still looking at you.

At the mess he made.

At your cunt—pink and soaked and fluttering with aftershocks, spread open on the couch like he carved you out just for him.

And he fucking smiles.

“Jesus,” he breathes, dragging his thumb along your inner thigh, slow and lazy, eyes still locked on the slick between your legs. “You’re unreal.”

You’re still trembling—wrung out, flushed, completely silent now except for the shattered sound of your breath.

But he isn’t done.

Not really.

Because then his thumb moves—trails closer, closer, until it’s swiping through the slick seam of you, collecting it, spreading it.

You flinch, hips twitching, breath hitching on a wrecked little gasp.

He freezes.

“Sorry—shit, sorry,” he murmurs, voice gone soft in the edges. “You’re probably so fucking sensitive right now.”

You nod, dazed. Barely. You’re not even sure you meant to.

But his eyes drop back down—and the sight of your cunt twitching under his touch, the way slick is still dripping out of you, slow and shiny, pooling where your thighs meet—

It short-circuits whatever restraint he had left.

“Can I…” he starts, already leaning in again, lips parted, breath ragged. “Just—one more taste, baby. Please.”

And before you can answer, he’s there again.

Licking into you.

Tongue flat and greedy, slow and deep, sliding through the wreckage he left behind like he needs it to breathe. He moans—loud—when it coats his tongue, when it drips down his chin, when he presses another kiss to your clit like he’s thanking it for everything.

You can’t stop shaking.

From how tender he’s being while still devouring you like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. From how overwhelmed your body feels—stretched between too much and not enough, oversensitive but still wanting.

He doesn’t rush now. Doesn’t try to make you cum again.

This is different.

It’s reverent. Like he’s cleaning you up with his mouth, dragging his tongue through every slick drop, pressing soft kisses into the mess like he’s trying to soothe the tremble in your thighs.

You whimper, just once—raw and hoarse.

That’s when he stops for real.

You sigh into his mouth, quiet and trembling, the kind of sound that only comes when everything inside you is raw—peeled back, exposed, open. He swallows it like it’s precious. Like it matters.

His hand at your waist shifts, pulling you gently forward until your chest brushes his. You’re still bare from the waist down—thighs sticky, breath uneven—and he’s still clothed, still hard, still aching beneath his sweats.

But he doesn’t grind against you.

Doesn’t ask for anything.

He just holds you.

Your knees fall around his hips, lazy and loose, and his thumb strokes the hinge of your jaw—slow, absent, like he needs the contact to stay calm.

The kiss deepens. Not with hunger. With heat. With reverence. His lips move against yours like he wants to memorize the shape of your mouth, your breath, the taste of your tongue mixed with your own arousal.

You break first—pulling back just a fraction to breathe, eyes fluttering open.

He’s already looking at you.

And there’s something in his gaze that wasn’t there before. Something stunned. Struck. Soft.

He whispers, “You okay?”

You nod. Maybe too fast. You feel stripped down to something small and shaking, something new—but his hand doesn’t leave you. His thumb still brushes your cheek. His chest still rises and falls like he’s feeling everything with you.

You whisper back, “I didn’t know it could feel like that.”

Jisung exhales a laugh—wrecked and wrecking.

“Yeah?” he murmurs, leaning forward again to press a kiss to your cheek, then another to your temple. “Then I guess we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

You don’t even realize you’re smiling until he kisses it. Presses his lips right there, at the corner of your mouth, so gentle it makes your eyes sting all over again.

There’s a beat of silence—thick and golden, warm between the ruined rhythm of your breathing.

Then he asks, quieter this time, “Can I hold you for a while?”

And god. You’ve never wanted anything more.

______________________________________________________________

The crowd pours out of the auditorium like a tide—caps slightly askew, diplomas clutched tight, families gathered in little clusters of congratulations and cameras. Laughter. Shouts. The click of heels and the flutter of gowns. You scan the crowd, heart racing, eyes darting.

And then you see him.

Leaning awkwardly against a tree, holding a slightly crumpled bouquet of grocery store flowers and dressed in the nicest outfit you’ve ever seen him wear. Still a hoodie—because he’s him—but it’s black and clean and zipped halfway up over a plain white tee. His hair’s been pushed back, curls tamed, face soft in the sunlight.

Like he wanted to look good.

For you.

You run.

Full sprint, no hesitation. Laughing, radiant, the hem of your gown flying behind you. And Jisung barely has time to react before you crash into his arms—legs wrapping around his waist, face buried in his neck.

He catches you without thinking. Arms locked tight around your back, holding you like the whole world could fall away and he’d still have you.

“Jesus—hi,” he breathes, stunned, grinning into your shoulder. 

“You came,” you whisper, pulling back just enough to look at him, eyes glassy and sunlit.

“Of course I came,” he murmurs, brushing a thumb over your cheek. “I wouldn’t miss this.”

You swallow, smile trembling just a little. You’re still holding your cap too tightly. Still searching the crowd behind him, over his shoulder, behind trees and between cars—hoping.

And Jisung sees it.

Sees the flicker in your expression when you realize no one else is coming. No familiar voices calling your name. No parents weaving through the crowd, late and disheveled but here. Nothing.

Just him.

You try to play it off—force a smile, tilt your head.

But Jisung just exhales, jaw tight, eyes warm and sharp.

“Hey,” he says softly, tipping your chin up. “Fuck ‘em.”

Your breath hitches—more from the way he says it than what he says. No apology. No pity. Just truth, blunt and biting and yours.

“Fuck ‘em,” he says again, firmer this time. “They don’t get to take this from you.”

And something in you cracks. Not the kind that breaks—the kind that lets light in.

Your cap slips from your hand to the pavement. You don’t even notice. You just lean forward and let your forehead rest against his, eyes fluttering shut as the noise of the world fades away.

“I thought it wouldn’t matter,” you whisper. “That I didn’t care.”

He nods like he already knew. Lets his hand fall to the small of your back, thumb tracing slow circles through the fabric of your gown.

“But it does,” you admit.

“Of course it does,” he murmurs. “You deserved more than this.”

You pull in a shaky breath. Exhale. Nod against him.

And then you laugh—quiet, almost startled. “God, you look nice.”

He pulls back just enough to give you a crooked smile. “You noticed?”

You sniffle, wiping under your eyes. “You did your hair.”

“I used product and everything,” he says solemnly, and that makes you laugh for real this time. His face lights up at the sound. Then, like he remembers something, his eyes go wide and he fumbles for something in his pocket.

“Wait—here. Got you something.”

You raise a brow as he pulls out a pair of slightly beat-up white AirPods and holds them out like they’re wrapped in silk.

“Your... earwax?” you tease, voice still thick, but lighter now.

Jisung groans, face going red. “Just put them in, smartass.”

You give him a look, lips twitching like you’re holding back another laugh, but you take them. Slip them in with practiced ease, still smirking, still sniffling a little.

And then—

You hear it.

Soft at first. A low, warm hum of synth. That familiar piano progression you’ve heard a hundred times echoing from his bedroom speakers, half-finished and always evolving. A quiet heartbeat of static underneath, the sound of something personal, unfinished—

But not this time.

Now it’s whole.

The bass comes in slow. The melody rises. The rhythm finds its footing like it’s been waiting for you.

Then his voice.

His voice.

Low. Raw. Stripped back and unfiltered, like he recorded it in the middle of the night, barefaced and half asleep. It’s not polished. It’s intimate. Each lyric laid out like a confession, like he’s pressing it directly into your chest.

You freeze.

Your mouth parts, but no words come out. You just stare at him—eyes wide, breath caught, the world suddenly nothing but him and the song in your ears.

Jisung watches you closely, fidgeting, clearly trying to read your face.

“I, uh… I finally finished it,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Track 12. I—kind of stayed up all night working on it. Wanted you to be the first to hear it.”

You swallow hard. “You—wrote this… for me?”

He nods, sheepish. “Well, yeah. Who the fuck else would it be for?”

You blink at him, still stunned, still half-floating somewhere between the melody and his smile.

The music wraps around you like a secret, like sunlight through a window. His voice in your ears. His eyes on your face. His hands fidgeting at his sides, picking at the edge of his hoodie sleeve, suddenly nervous like he didn’t just lay his heart bare in a three-minute track.

And then he says it.

Quiet. Almost like it slips out.

“I’m in love with you.”

Your breath stutters.

He panics a little, eyes going wide, hands gesturing now like he’s trying to physically catch the words and shove them back into his mouth.

“I mean—not in like, a weird, ‘I wrote you a song and now you have to marry me’ way. I just—I’ve been in love with you for a while, and I didn’t know how to say it. And then I kept not saying it, and then you let me eat you out on your couch and I was like, oh cool, guess I’m definitely in love with her—”

You stare at him.

Mouth slightly open. Ears still ringing with his voice from the track. Face flushed from the heat of him and the way he’s unraveling in front of you, hands flailing, words tumbling out too fast, too honest, too him.

“And now I’m saying it,” he rushes on, breath hitching. “And maybe it’s too soon or maybe it’s stupid but—fuck, I don’t care. I love you. And I don’t just mean in the afterglow, post-head, 'wow-she’s-so-pretty-when-she’s-cumming' kind of way—which, like, you are—but I mean in the real way. In the way where I think about you all the time and you’re in my music and my coffee and my fucking laundry detergent because you smell like it now—”

You cut him off with a laugh—soft and stunned, the kind that comes from something blooming too fast in your chest. Your hands reach for him instinctively, palms pressed to his chest like you’re trying to slow his heart down, or maybe match yours to it.

Then lean up and kiss him.

He melts into it—hands landing on your waist like he’s afraid you’ll float off if he doesn’t hold you down. His mouth is soft, a little shaky, like he still can’t believe this is happening. Like he’s kissing you with both hands behind his back, offering up his heart like a truce.

When you pull back, your forehead rests against his.

You’re smiling. He is too, in that breathless, stunned way—like you’ve both finally exhaled.

“I’m in love with you too,” you whisper.

He chokes out a sound. Somewhere between a laugh and a gasp. “No shit?”

You nod. “No shit.”

Jisung blinks, then grins—slow and wide and boyish.

He just stands there, still holding you, like his body hasn’t caught up with what just happened.

Like he's trying to memorize this moment—your smile, your closeness, the soft heat of your hands resting over his heart.

He opens his mouth like he wants to say something else. Closes it again.

Then settles for a quiet, breathless, “...Okay.”

You raise an eyebrow, amused. “Okay?”

He nods, dazed. “Yeah. Just… okay. Everything’s okay now.”

You lean into his chest, let your head fall to his shoulder. He exhales like he’s been holding his breath for months. His arms wrap around your waist again, this time more certain. More steady.

And for a moment, neither of you says anything.

The crowd is still bustling in the background. Cameras flashing. Tassels swinging. Parents calling names that don’t belong to you. The sound of it used to sting—but not now. Not with him holding you like this. Not with the song still echoing in your ears, a private chorus written just for you.

You glance up. “So what now?”

He looks down at you, still smiling like he doesn’t know how to stop.

“We go home,” he says. “Order too much food. Fall asleep on the couch. Pretend we’re not both crying during The Office reruns.”

You snort. “That’s your big plan?”

He leans in, nudges your nose with his. “No,” he murmurs, softer now. “My big plan is to love you for a really, really long time.”

Your heart stutters.

And it’s so simple—so quiet, so uncomplicated—but it wraps around you like warmth, settles deep in your bones like something you forgot you were allowed to want.

You tip forward and kiss him again, just once. Just enough.

“Sounds like a good plan,” you whisper.

He grins. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Eventually, your fingers find his, threading together as the crowd begins to thin. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze, grounding and sure.

You glance down at the flowers, still clutched in your other hand—slightly crushed, petals soft and folding in from the heat. But they’re yours. Someone showed up. Someone stayed.

You’re walking away with his hand in yours, the sun dipping low behind you, the final track still playing softly in your head.

It ends the way all good songs do.

Quiet.

Certain.

How would he react? Would he ignore you as if he never knew you? Would he run into your arms, like you knew you'd feel the urge to do as soon as your eyes land on his? Would he just greet you politely, like you haven't already exchanged your breaths, your innocence, whispers of love, tangled your tongues and your hearts?

Did he move on?

You wouldn't blame him if he did, after all, you were the one who left him when you had promised to always stay by his side.

You called your grandparents earlier to let them know you'll be visiting, finally after so many years, you had to be there to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary, you wouldn't miss it for anything in the world. They practically raised you while your parents worked out of the village and you always admired the tender love they had for each other, spending so many years together and going through so much that just made their bond stronger.

You were tempted to ask your grandmother about Hyunjin, what he was doing now or if he had a significant other. But, you had bitten your tongue, too scared to find out the answer to your question.

You only hoped he didn't hate you.

Hyunjin. The boy that smiled shyly at you when you were just five years old, when his mother had brought him to your house for a play date while the parents have some 'grown up time'. You returned the shy smile, playing with the fabric of your nice dress, the one your mom made you wear, saying something about a 'good impression'. The awkwardness between you disappeared pretty quickly, as soon as you showed him your favorite toys, the two of you started playing together in your yard, between all the dirt and the flowers. Your mother had scolded you later for ruining your dress but your grandmother calmed her down, telling her how the dress paled in comparison to having a good time with a new friend.

Hyunjin and you had at least two play dates a week which turned into three, then four, soon you became inseparable; especially when you started going to school together. Both of you were pretty frightened about that change, standing in front of the school gate so Hyunjin reached out to hold your hand, squeezing it reassuringly as your little cheeks became rosy.

He was your best friend, your first and last crush.

Years of being by his side, watching him grow and growing with him, you couldn't imagine your life without him. Hyunjin knew almost everything about you as you did with him and when both of you started high school, something changed.

He was growing up, he was different than before and you started looking at him differently. Before, you were used to the feeling you got when he touched your hand but now it seemed more electrifying. Hyunjin felt the same, suddenly becoming a stuttering mess next to you, staring at you with shiny eyes and a dumb smile on his face while you'd come home from school every day with butterflies in your stomach and a new diary entry to write.

You noticed how pretty his smile was, how gentle his voice sounded when he spoke your name, how his eyes were trained on your lips one too many times. Hyunjin noticed how your silky hair fell over your shoulders, the way you'd flip it back when he called out to you, how you'd smile at him with rosy cheeks.

Then one night while you were sleeping, Hyunjin couldn't hold back anymore. He sneaked out of his room, stalking down the road quietly to your house, you were only a few minutes away from his place. He stood beneath your window, his palms clammy, heart pounding against his chest, his throat completely dry. There was no going back now. You were awakened by the sounds of little stones hitting your window and confusedly you sat up, squinting towards the direction where the sound was coming from.

"What the-" you started as you stood up. You quietly walked over to your window and peeked down.

"Hyunjin?" you wondered to yourself before opening the window abruptly just as he lifted his hand up and threw another little rock, almost hitting you straight in the face but you dodged with a gasp as it landed behind you.

"Bunny! I'm so sorry!" he panicked immediately, flailing his long arms, the nickname he always used for you making your stomach flutter.

"What are you doing here? It's 2am." you asked confusedly.

"Let me come up please. I need to talk to you." Hyunjin looked nervous, shifting from one foot to the other, chewing on his lip and playing with his fingers.

"Can't this wait until the morning?" your brain was still half asleep and the chilly air from the outside made you shiver in the little nightgown you had on.

"I mean... I guess it can. It's just I don't know if I will have courage tomorrow." he mumbled, looking down and kicking around the little rocks with his foot.

"Fine. Come on up." you said and Hyunjin climbed quickly even though you scolded him, reminding him to be careful and quiet.

"Sorry." he sheepishly smiled at you when you grabbed his wrists and pulled him inside, but his foot got stuck which ended in you falling backwards on your butt and him sprawled on the floor on his hands and knees, hovering over you.

"Hyunjin!" you grunted in pain. "If my grandparents find you here-"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry!" he whispered and the two of you just sat there quietly, trying to hear if there was any indication that someone was coming to your door.

But it was dead quiet, except for the crickets outside of your house and the loud thumping of your heart so both of you let out a breath of relief.

"What did you need to tell me?" you asked after the two of you sat down, you on your bed and Hyunjin on the chair. He stood up abruptly, a shaky breath leaving his lips. Hyunjin rubbed his hands together as he looked away from you. You were suddenly worried, knowing he rarely gets this serious.

"I've been hiding this from you for a while but I can't hold it back anymore, even if you don't feel the same about me I need you to know how I feel because otherwise my chest will burst." he babbled, looking at you nervously.

"Jinnie, what are you talking about?" you asked with brows furrowed, your heartbeat picking up speed.

"I like you. More than friends. As in I'd like to kiss you and hold your hand and have it mean something more than just 'best friends'. I want to be your boyfriend." he blurted out, heart wilding in his chest as he scanned your face, looking for a reaction.

Your lips parted as you stared at him quietly for a moment, trying to process what he was saying. Your dear, sweet Jinnie who you were in love with for years was confessing to you? Looking so nervous and adorable, telling you he wants to kiss you and be yours?

You wished you could scream. So, you did just that. You grabbed your pillow and muffled your excited scream with it as Hyunjin stared at you with wide eyes.

"Um. Are you okay?" he chuckled awkwardly.

"Not really." you shook your head. "Sorry, it's just... I like you too, Jinnie. And I'd love to kiss you and be yours."

"Oh." he stood awkwardly in place like he wasn't expecting a positive answer.

"Are you gonna kiss me now?" you asked sheepishly after a moment of silence.

"Can I?" he looked excited and nervous as he came closer to you and you stood up slowly, nodding at him.

"I- You know I've never kissed anyone before." he said quietly.

"Me neither. It's okay." you gently took his hand in yours and Hyunjin felt the familiar comfort you always gave to him, reaching into his soul even now.

You stared into each other's eyes for a moment, letting the dust settle and the reality sink in, smiles creeping up on your faces as you slowly leaned in. Lips against lips pressed together and your eyes fluttered shut, your entire body buzzing.

Hyunjin squeezed your hand, his other hand tentatively touching the side of your waist as you placed your hand on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat underneath your fingers.

Everything fell into place then, you were his and he was yours-

"Miss? Miss, we're here." you snapped out of your reminiscing session as the driver pulled up to your grandparents house. You almost forgot how tiny the village is, how cozy and familiar all of it is. The dirt roads you walked on, mostly with Hyunjin by your side, the little forest that led to a clearing you used for picnic dates and stargazing, your grandmother's colorful garden, the porch she always sat on, admiring the flowers she helped grow. Even the air smelled familiar and it was almost as if you had never left.

"Let me help with your bags." the man said as you walked out of the car, taking a deep breath of fresh air into your lungs.

"Thank you." you said as he pulled out your suitcase. "Careful with those, please!" you added as the driver struggled, finally managing to put both of your suitcases down.

You missed the annoyed look he gave you while you put on your lipgloss, making sure your lips were nice and plump as you checked yourself out in the little pocket mirror.

"Oh, right." you remembered. "Here." you opened your wallet and grabbed some bills, paying the driver and leaving him a nice tip.

Before you could close your wallet, something caught your eye. A little picture of you and Hyunjin, where he was holding you from behind, both of your faces rosy with big smiles as you were chuckling together. You sighed and closed your wallet quickly, shoving it into your bag.

"Thanks for the tip, miss. Have a nice day." the man rounded his car.

"You too." you waved and he turned on his car while you stepped back as the screeching tires lifted up the dirt.

"Ugh." you made a disgusted face, turning around to pull your suitcases with you. After a struggle with the luggage, you managed to finally make the little wheels roll as you walked into the driveway of your childhood home.

"Shit!" your heart leaped out of your chest when your foot got stuck and you pulled, gasping once again when you realized your heel broke.

"Great. Just what I need." you rolled your eyes. Not a good beginning to this visit, you thought.

"Oh, she's here!" you heard the warm, familiar voice belonging to your grandma.

"Nana!" you called out to your grandma as she made her way to you, surprisingly agile for her age. "Oh!" you gasped when she gave you a bone crushing hug.

"Oh, how I missed you my child!" she was already pinching your cheeks as you groaned, noticing your grandfather had just walked out on the porch.

"There's my favorite grandchild." he said with a wink and you shook your, chuckling.

"Of course I'm your favorite when I'm the only one." you laughed quietly and grandma shushed you.

"Don't ruin his jokes, it makes him happy." she nudged you with a wink and you nodded.

"Come here." your grandpa kissed your cheeks, taking a moment to look at you.

"You look all serious and business-y." he said and you chuckled, looking down at your attire.

You were still wearing the suit you'd usually wear to work and the heels that were now broken.

"My heel broke." you remembered and you grandma started laughing.

"Honey, you can forget about heels here. I hope you brought some comfortable shoes that are dirt friendly." she joked as your grandpa helped with your luggage.

As soon as you walked into the house, you were hit with an even bigger wave of nostalgia than the one slowly building in your soul while you drove towards the village. They haven't changed almost anything, all the decoration was the same, everything smelled the same and familiar, like the home you grew up in never changed.

Like you never changed.

"Are you hungry, my child?"

"Oh yes." you nodded at your grandma eagerly, happy to be eating her home-cooked food.

"Good, wash your hands and join us for dinner."

She gave you some house slippers as you threw your poor broken heels aside and after washing your hands, you joined them at the table.

"So, how is the big city treating you?" your grandpa asked and you caught them up on your work, friends, your apartment, anything about the city you thought was worth mentioning.

"How are things here?" you asked after they listened to you, interested in your new experiences.

"Oh, you know. There is always something to do here. We have the house, the garden, the chickens, the goats. We are not as young and strong as we were once before but we are used to working. Plus, someone always comes to help out." nana explained.

"Like who?" you asked absentmindedly, chewing on the salad.

"Well, do you remember Chan? He was always a nice boy, that one. He got married recently but he still comes to help out with some repairs the house needs."

"Chan got married? Wow." you chuckled, it made sense. He had the same girlfriend for years and he was older than you so you weren't that surprised.

"And of course, Hyunjin." you grandma gave you a knowing smile as your entire body froze and you almost choked on your salad.

"Hyunjin got married?!" you spat out and your grandma gasped and then started laughing.

"No, dear, no." she chuckled at your reaction. "I meant Hyunjin comes here to help a lot. He repainted the entire kitchen and living room. Helps out with the animals and the garden when he isn't working on his farm. Or working around with other people, helping them build their houses and things like that."

"Oh..." you swallowed. "So, you see him a lot?"

"Yeah, almost every day!" grandpa chuckled. "He even joined us for breakfast this morning."

You suddenly felt a knot forming in your stomach. Hyunjin spent more time in your home, with your family than you did.

"Does he... does he have someone? You know. A partner." your voice broke a little as you blinked your tears away. You hated how you always cried easily, especially when it's about Hyunjin.

"No, he only works." your grandma frowned. "That boy never stops from early in the morning until late night hours. He just works and works his days away."

Somehow, that made you feel a little more at ease even though your heart still hurt.

"He asks about you, you know." grandma added.

You almost choked on your food again.

"He does?" you swallowed quickly, deciding that your appetite is now gone.

"Yeah. He asks if you're healthy, if you're doing good."

"Oh."

The weight of your grandma's words settled in your heart, heavy like a rock even as you tried to distract yourself with washing dishes and helping her clean up.

"Your room is the same as it was always. We never touched or removed anything." your grandma smiled at you, her hand gentle on your cheek.

"You should go see Hyunjin." she added.

"I- Maybe later." your throat dried up and you needed a moment to yourself, a moment to gather your thoughts. You walked up the stairs to your room as soon as you finished cleaning up, pulling your suitcases up with you. When the door creaked open, you were greeted by your past.

Your grandparents really left everything intact.

You stopped in your tracks after closing the door, too scared to move so you wouldn't disrupt the memories you were witnessing in your mind. Countless times Hyunjin and you spent here, ever since you were kids all the way up to the end of high school and the summer before you left for good. He was everywhere in that room. He sat on your windowsill, he paced around the floor, he swayed backwards on your chair (falling on his butt one too many times), he laid on your bed, kissing you and telling you how much he loves you.

There were polaroid pictures of you on the left side of your table, the drawings he gave you as a gift, your favorite teddy bear he got you for your one year anniversary still propped up against your pillows... You opened your drawer and found your diaries, his name scribbled on the pages, on your heart. You picked up one of the polaroids as your other hand automatically went to your chest. The couple necklaces you shared, one half of a heart was still around your neck, hidden under your shirt and close to your heart, the other one was still with him or maybe it wasn't. Maybe he threw it away after you left and never came back, not even returning his calls or texts.

"Hyunjin..." you whispered as you smiled at the picture, him with his hair over his eyes trying to make a scary face and you in the back, your hands on his shoulders as you stood on your tippy toes and put your tongue out, making a silly face.

Suddenly, you were overcome by emotions and tears spilled from your eyes. You loved him your entire life. And even if you tried to escape that feeling, you never really could. Hyunjin grew roots inside your heart and he wasn't going anywhere any time soon. You let yourself cry for a moment, hugging the teddy bear as you sat on your bed.

Should you go see him?

He has every right to be mad at you and you were scared of him turning a cold shoulder. But then again, your grandma said he asks for you. Maybe he is just curious?

Either way, you weren't ready to face him yet.

You decided to unpack and shower, change into something more comfortable and hopefully catch up on sleep.

But as soon as you got into your bed, sleep wouldn't come to you, no matter how quiet and peaceful the village was in comparison to the city and how comfortable your old bed was. Your mind drifted off to that night when Hyunjin snuck in, right before your prom.

Six years ago

"Hey, little bunny." Hyunjin had climbed through the window that you left open for him, knocking down one of your books from the shelf next to it in the process.

"Hyun!" you scolded him with a chuckle.

"I know, I know. I'm trying to be quiet." he whispered, lifting his arms up in defeat.

"Come here, clumsy." you giggled and he practically skipped to you, his long arms wrapping around your smaller frame and pulling you into him.

"I'm so excited for tomorrow." your voice was muffled by his chest and he chuckled.

"Me too. I hope I don't step on your toes." he grimaced and you looked up at him, your fingers tangled in his long dark hair.

"You won't. You're a great dancer and we practiced a lot." you smiled, caressing the back of his neck and Hyunjin melted, his arms tightening around you.

"Yes, but when I'm nervous I can't control my body." he whined with a pout. "There will be other people there, looking at us and-"

"You'll do fine, trust me." you interrupted his nervous babbling. "Just imagine it's the two of us, like right now." you swayed slowly and he followed you, exhaling and pressing his forehead against yours.

"I love you, little bunny." he whispered.

"I love you too, Jinnie." you whispered back and his lips were on yours instantly. Hands explored awkwardly as you were backed into your bed, falling down with Hyunjin on top of you. You had messed around like this before, his hands under your nightgown, fingers dipping into your underwear, your hand wrapped around his length.

"H-Hyunjin?" you whimpered as he slowly pumped his fingers inside you, kissing your neck.

"Yes, doll?" he whispered back, the nickname giving you shivers.

"I'm ready. For... you know. I wanna go all the way with you." you bit on your lip as his eyes widened.

"Are you- are you sure? I can wait for you for however long you need. You don't have to feel pressured." he shook his head, pulling his fingers out.

"No, no. I am sure. I love you and I want to be yours completely." you gripped at his shoulders and Hyunjin's heart leaped out of his chest as he smiled sweetly at you.

"I want to be yours completely too. Be your first and your last. And you mine."

"Jinnie." you almost started crying from the overwhelming feelings, your lips quickly finding his. Hyunjin was a little awkward, unsure of himself and scared that he'll hurt you or do something wrong but he was still gentle, trying to put you first even though he was more excited than ever to have you like this and be connected with you.

"I have condoms in the drawer." you pointed at the nightstand and he narrowed his eyes at you.

"You were planning this?" his face became as red as a tomato.

"I mean, yeah." you nodded, the color of your cheeks matching his. "I've wanted this with you for some time but I was nervous to tell you." you admitted.

"You're so cute, bunny." Hyunjin giggled, caressing your cheek gently with his knuckles.

"Ugh." you groaned in embarrassment while he kept chuckling, reaching for the drawer.

The moment he started pushing in, the world around you disappeared and you were concentrated only on him.

"Does it hurt?" Hyunjin asked as he kept filling you up gently.

"A little." you gasped, it was definitely a bigger stretch than his fingers.

"I'm sorry." he looked guilty immediately. "Do you want me to stop?"

"N-no. Keep going." you whispered, holding onto his upper back.

Hyunjin's eyes fluttered shut when he bottomed out inside you, his entire body was buzzing, his heart was beating fast and he was trying to gather all the mental and physical strength not to finish too quickly.

"Y/n." he gasped when he finally opened his eyes and looked at you, a sweet lovestruck expression on your face, your eyes sparkling, all for him, all his.

"Hyunjin." you moaned at the way he felt inside you and the way he looked at you, like you hung all the stars in the sky just for him.

"I adore you, bunny." Hyunjin said gently and your heart bursted right then and there.

"I adore you too." you whispered back.

He slowly started moving inside you, whispering words of love and praise the entire time as you clutched onto him and returned his praises.

You've never felt like that before, completely and utterly loved by him, connected with him.

Which made it harder for you to give him the news you were supposed to tomorrow after prom.

Present time

You were rudely awakened at 5am when the rooster in your nana's backyard started crowing loudly.

"Ugh!" you forgot about all the charms of living in a village as you grabbed the pillow and put it over your face, a muffled 'shut up' pressed into it. You waited for a few moments, throwing the pillow aside and turning to your left, coming face to face with the teddy bear Hyunjin gave you, which of course you named 'Jinnie' back then, making your boyfriend laugh adoringly at you.

"Good morning, Jinnie." you said to the teddy, pulling the plushie closer to you as you hugged it and sighed. "Guess I should get up." you added with a shrug before stretching and then getting up.

You opened up your wardrobe, choosing to wear a red dress with a dainty floral print on it and got ready in your room, listening to music just like you did every day before school or a date with your boyfriend years ago. You opened up another drawer in your table and gasped when you saw the corsage that Hyunjin gave to you when he came to pick you up before prom.

You clutched it in your hand and thought back to that night, when Hyunjin came to pick you up.

Six years ago

To say Hyunjin was nervous was an understatement. He felt as if every atom of his being was about to burst into little pieces when he rang your doorbell. He was a wreck as he kept wiping his sweaty palms against his jacket, annoyed at the fact that no matter how many deep breaths he took, his heart was still hammering against his chest, ready to burst. Why was he so nervous? It was just you, his little bunny.

Oh, but he wasn't ready and he was right to be so nervous because as soon as your grandma opened the door with a smile, ushering him in, his eyes landed on you and they widened. Hyunjin felt as if the world stopped spinning, all the clocks stopped ticking, his heart quit beating and his breath got stuck in his throat. You became the only center of gravity, pulling him in towards you and nothing else around the two of you mattered.

He was completely and utterly floored and whipped for you.

Hyunjin finally understood the meaning of the word 'breathtaking' because that was the only thing that came to mind as you smiled at him so beautifully, so in love, so happy, wearing the most gorgeous dress he'd ever seen you in.

"Y/n." was the only thing he managed to say and you chuckled, your heart swelling at his reaction.

It was your turn to gawk as he came closer to you, you'd never seen him wearing a suit before and he looked even more handsome than he ever did. Your knees buckled when he stood close to you, the smell of his cologne was intoxicating but his lovestruck smile was even more mesmerizing.

Your grandparents smiled lovingly at the two of you before glancing at each other knowingly as Hyunjin gave you your corsage, gently putting it on your wrist. So many pictures were taken before you had to rush out so you wouldn't be late to the dance.

The night was magical and everything seemed possible under the fairy lights as Hyunjin and you swayed to the gentle melody of the familiar song coming from the speakers.

"Do you want to slip out after our song?" Hyunjin's plump lips brushed against your ear as he pulled you tighter into his heated body.

"Won't the chaperones notice?" you asked as you looked up at him only to find him smirking.

"We'll be stealthy." he said and you giggled.

"Right, stealthy."

"Yes, see I didn't even step on your foot!"

"Not yet." you teased him and Hyunjin pouted, whining and burying his face in your shoulder.

"Mean bunny." he tickled your sides, making you squirm and squeal.

"Fine, sorry." you giggled, knowing he wasn't actually offended. "You did a great job." you added and Hyunjin looked up at you with a sweet smile, his cheeks rosy.

"Thank you, doll. You did too." he smirked, brushing his lips against yours.

You managed to sneak out somehow while everyone was dancing to a quicker beat and you knew exactly where you were going; to your favorite spot with Hyunjin, the path to it so familiar that you could walk through it blind, the soil remembering all your footsteps.

"Hyune, um... I'm wearing heels." you whispered as he shined the path ahead with a little pocket flashlight.

"Oh, right." he thought for a moment before kneeling down. "Get on my back, doll."

"Are you sure?" you asked and he chuckled.

"Of course." he nodded eagerly and you climbed up on his back, feeling light and happy, giggles spilling from both of your lips. "Hold this." Hyunjin gave you the light and you shined it ahead as he gripped the back of your thighs and carried you.

Being a little tease, Hyunjin pretended he was going to drop you a few times only to have you almost scream as your arms wrapped tighter around him.

"Stop that!" you whined.

"Sorry, sorry bunny. I'll stop. You're just so cute." he smirked.

"If you weren't carrying me right now, you'd be in big trouble." you scolded and Hyunjin let out a laugh, your favorite tree coming into view.

"Yes, I know. Biiiig trouble." he kept chuckling and you were this close to biting his shoulder.

"Here we are, bunny." he gently put you down and wrapped his arm around you as the two of you stared at the carving in the trunk.

Hyunjin + Y/n.

Both of you laughed then, you had carved your names in when you were barely 16 and seeing it now was equally as embarrassing as it was sweet.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?" you looked up at Hyunjin and he smiled sweetly at you.

"I promise I'll love you forever." he whispered, lifting his pinky and you giggled.

"I promise I'll love you forever too, my sweet Jinnie." you whispered back, your pinky curling around his.

Hyunjin chuckled in delight and pulled you into a sweet kiss.

You didn't have the heart to tell him you got into uni and would be leaving the village in September.

Present time

You had to go visit the tree.

"Fuck." you cursed, angrily wiping your tears away, before putting the corsage back into the drawer and slamming it shut.

Too many memories.

You quickly made your way downstairs where your nana was already serving breakfast.

"Oh, I thought you'd be sleeping more, dear." she lifted her brows in surprise.

"I thought so too." you joked, giving her a pointed look and she laughed.

"I see you forgot how it is here." nana shook her head. "When you haven't been around for so long."

"I'm sorry." you grimaced, sitting down to eat with her. "I know I should've visited more. I got caught up in studies and work and-"

"Breathe, dear." your grandma squeezed your hand with a chuckle. "It's not me who you should be explaining this to."

You gulped, knowing she was referring to Hyunjin.

"Where's grandpa?" you asked.

"He's out back, working."

"I was thinking of going for a walk before lunch. I'll make sure to come back though to help out."

"Sure, dear. You haven't been here for so long, you should catch up with the place and the people." grandma nodded with a wink and that was exactly what you planned to do.

It was around 7am when you finally walked out of the house, inhaling the fresh air you were deprived of in the big city. It was a bit chilly in the morning so you draped a light jacket over your shoulders and let your legs lead you through the familiar streets.

You still didn't want to see Hyunjin so you went the opposite direction of his house, trying to stick to the shadows for now, just to have a little more peace to yourself and mentally prepare for the inevitable encounters of everyone you grew up with.

It was painful. Walking all the familiar paths you walked through before with him, it was as if you could hear his laughter echoing down the street. Your heart squeezed in your chest when you realized just where your legs had taken you.

The tree.

It was still there, as tall as ever, its branches familiar as you and Hyunjin had laid under them multiple times, kissing, talking, laughing, holding each other close. You walked closer, your eyes brimming with tears when you saw the carving. Hyunjin + Y/n. Forever.

The word you had added that night after prom.

You cursed yourself mentally for crying again and being so overcome with emotions. You couldn't stand there for too long and were about to leave when something caught your eye. Another carving, smaller and almost unnoticeable on the right side of yours. You leaned in closer to inspect it and your heart almost stopped.

Hyunjin.

Nothing else, just his name was carved into the wood and you felt fresh tears forming in your eyes. Leaving was definitely a mistake, maybe the biggest mistake you ever made, especially after the let down you experienced in the city. You wiped your tears away again and decided to leave the tree be, your heart hurting at the thought of Hyunjin sitting under the branches alone, carving his name and wondering why you had never called back or came to see him. You walked away, back down the path and into the village, deep in your thoughts. Lost in the memories of what once was you didn't even realize where you came, as your legs walked on autopilot.

Only when the familiar light blue house came into view, you snapped from your thoughts, eyes wide and heart dropping into your stomach.

"Shit!" you whisper-yelled. This was the only house you wanted to avoid and yet you were standing right in front of it. As far as you knew, Hyunjin's parents didn't live there anymore, he was living in the big house completely alone, his only companions his animals.

Your knees almost gave out as you stared, before getting spooked when you heard barking. A big black dog ran to the fence, barking at you in warning. You had never seen it before so Hyunjin must've gotten it after you went to the city. You backed away as the dog kept barking at you in a not-so-friendly manner. You turned and started walking away, hoping Hyunjin didn't hear that or wasn't home because you still weren't ready to see him let alone talk to him.

Then, you heard a familiar voice.

"Easy girl, easy." you assumed he was talking to the dog as the barking subsided immediately and you stopped in your tracks.

"Well, well." you heard then. "If it isn't little bunny."

Your heart leaped out of your chest. You hadn't heard that nickname in years.

"Don't even wanna say hi?" Hyunjin continued and you heard the sound of the little fence door opening. Slowly, you turned around and basically almost fainted.

This wasn't your sweet, shy and little Jinnie. You almost didn't recognize him as you stared at him with eyes wide and mouth agape.

His long hair was gone, replaced by a neat buzzcut that was also bleached, he had piercings on his ears, his arms were big and muscular, a few tattoos here and there, visible in the tanktop he wore. He looked taller, bigger, more manly. Your knees buckled and the more you looked at him the more you felt lightheaded.

Hyunjin smirked, noticing how you were salivating and a little chuckle escaped his lips.

"Gonna catch flies like that." he teased and you closed your mouth, attempting to compose yourself as you stood up straighter. His eyes then traveled all over your frame, the teasing glint inside them turning into something softer until they fell on the necklace and he felt as if the ground underneath his feet almost gave out.

You were still wearing it. Just like he was, his half heart hidden under his top.

"Hi." you said quietly. "You look different."

"A lot can change in six years." he stated, still keeping a good distance away from you.

"It can." you stepped back, feeling suffocated by his presence as you tried to read his face and tone of voice. Was there anger? Regret? Did he resent you?

"You're different too." a small smile appeared on his lips.

"How so?" you tilted your head to the left, thinking how you pretty much looked the same since the end of high school.

"You've gotten even more beautiful." Hyunjin said like it was nothing and you were sure you were having a heart attack in that moment.

"I- That- Thank you." you had no idea what to say. "I have to go... Help nana with lunch. And stuff."

Hyunjin smiled wider.

"I'll see you later then, bunny."

"Sure." you turned around so quickly that you almost snapped your neck. Hyunjin watched with bathed breath as you scurried away from him.

You finally came back.

-

"Did you see Hyunjin?" nana asked as you helped her clean around the kitchen after lunch.

"Accidentally, yes." you said and she chuckled.

"I never understood why you broke up, you two are made for each other." she said and you almost dropped the plate you were holding.

"We didn't... actually break up. I just left."

"I thought you were still together back then, I was wondering why he never went to visit you or you him. I only realized you weren't together once he asked me if I knew where you lived in the city. Which I forgot the address, dear, so I hope I didn't do anything wrong by not telling him."

"No, no, nana. You did nothing wrong. It was my fault. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I'm not so sure anymore." your eyes welled up with tears as you clutched onto the counter.

"Oh, honey." your grandma was instantly by your side.

"I told him I would come back. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated me now and wanted nothing to do with me." you sniffled as nana wiped your tears away.

"Oh dear, Hyunjin doesn't hate you. He talks very fondly of you always. That boy still loves you."

"He- He does?" you thought back to your encounter today.

"A love like that doesn't disappear overnight. Or over the span of six years." your grandma teased, making you chuckle through your tears.

"If you say so."

"Talk to him. He is coming to dinner tonight anyways." she announced.

"He is what?!" you almost yelled.

"He usually joins us for dinner. At least a few days in the week."

You panicked immediately.

"I have to go get ready then!"

Nana bursted into laughter as she watched you frantically run up the stairs.

"What was that about?" grandpa came in, looking up at the metaphorical dust that you left behind after running.

"Oh you know. Love." grandma winked at him and he shook his head with a smile.

Shit.

Hyunjin is coming over for dinner. You had to look your best.

You've gotten even more beautiful.

His words rang in your head and your cheeks became red instantly, heart beating hard in your chest. You quickly opened your wardrobe and began throwing clothes everywhere, your room soon looking as if a tornado had passed through it. You tried on multiple outfits but with every single one you found something wrong. The color was too bright, the shirt was too big, the pants looked weird...

So you settled on another dress, a pretty and white flowy one with yellow flowers on it, the shape of it accentuating your frame, your bare legs on display. You decided to wear heels too and put on some makeup. You were so nervous as if you hadn't already been his.

While you were doing your hair, you stared into your reflection and remembered that warm summer night when you told Hyunjin you were leaving.

Six years ago

Hyunjin and you sat on a blanket, staring up at the stars shimmering in the dark sky.

"Jinnie." you swallowed nervously.

"Yes, bunny?" he smiled, playing with your fingers.

"I have something to tell you."

"Oh? Okay." he nodded, sitting up.

"Um. It's been weighing on me since prom."

"You sound serious." Hyunjin's expression turned into one of worry.

"It is serious. And I didn't tell you earlier because I was afraid of how you'd react." your heart started beating fast. "I got into my uni of choice."

"Bunny! You did?" he smiled wide. "Why didn't you tell me that? You know I support you and I'm proud of you."

"I know. It's just that... I'm leaving and I don't know when I'll be back." you said. "We talked about this briefly before but... I don't want to stay in the village. There is nothing for me here, I mean career wise. Meanwhile... You decided to work with your father and build your life here."

Hyunjin's smile dropped.

"What are you saying?" his voice sounded strained.

"Are we... Are we breaking up?" he asked, tears forming in his eyes.

"No. No. I don't want to. I don't know." you bit your lip and looked away from him.

"Y/n. Please, don't do this. I've known no one but you my whole life. You're the one I love and the one I promised forever to. We even talked about building a life together, getting married, having kids."

"I know, I know. You're my first love, Jinnie. And those were all nice daydreams but there comes a time when you need to grow up."

"Daydreams? Bunny. Those were plans." his bottom lip trembled and he frowned. "This really sounds like you're breaking up with me."

"No, no." tears started spilling down your cheeks when you saw the hurt in his eyes and realized how harsh your words sounded. "Just... I'm confused. I don't know what to do." you put your hands over your face, a sob escaping your lips.

Hyunjin's eyes softened and he put his hand on your upper back, gently caressing you.

"Hey, look. I know you're scared now, this is a big change. But, we'll figure it out together. You go finish your studies, do what you always wanted to. But please don't throw away what we have. I'll always wait for you, I'll wait until you come visit or I can visit you. We can call each other, we don't have to grow apart in order for you to grow."

"I guess not." his words hit you hard as you looked up at him.

"Don't cry, baby. I love you and I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud of my little bunny." he talked, wiping your tears away.

"Jinnie. I love you too." you clutched onto his shirt and cried into his chest.

Oh, how you were going to miss him.

Present time

But after you left, you never even contacted him.

You knew how cruel that was but you thought it was for the best. If you were going to build a life in the city and he was going to stay behind in the village, it was better off like this.

Childhood crushes and high school sweethearts don't always last, do they?

But, your heart hurt so badly every day you were away from Hyunjin. You wanted to forget him, stop loving him but you couldn't no matter how hard you tried. Every time you thought you were ready to take off the couple necklace, your hands would stop functioning. You couldn't bring yourself to do that, the necklace felt as if it was a part of you and despite being away from Hyunjin you knew your heart would always belong to him.

With a sigh, you finished getting ready, wondering if he could really still love you after you'd hurt him like that.

Before you could come down, you heard voices under your window and you stalked towards it curiously. It was closed so you couldn't understand what they were saying but Hyunjin stood there with your grandpa, his back turned to you. You gasped a little, noticing then how his shoulders and upper back also got wider, the black shirt he wore almost ripping at the seams.

"Give me strength." you prayed to whoever was listening before you decided to stop hiding and finally made your way downstairs.

"Yes, I'll definitely ask Chan to help out with the fence, I think he won't be busy this weekend." Hyunjin said to your grandpa as they walked into the kitchen.

"Great! That's settled then!" grandpa clapped his hands with a satisfied smile. Hyunjin looked up at you then and stopped walking, giving you the elevator eyes.

"Good evening." he smirked a little.

"Evening." you said breathlessly and you grandma chuckled.

"Why are you two acting so formal?" grandpa asked as you sat down.

"Leave them be. They just encountered each other after a long time." nana scolded him and he gave a little shrug.

Hyunjin was sitting right across from you and you felt as if there was nowhere to hide. He kept looking at you curiously and you felt so awkward, trying to avoid his eyes as all of you started taking food out on the plates and eating.

Hyunjin couldn't calm his heart down. All the feelings that he carried inside of him every single day, from dawn to late night, were now amplified a thousand times. All those nights he had thought about you and seen you in his dreams couldn't compare to you actually being in front of him. He couldn't tear his eyes away from you, he missed you deeply. The love he always had for you never subsided, it only grew more even while you were apart.

Though, he knew that there were things the two of you needed to talk about, he decided not to think about the hurtful side of it, tossing it in the back of his mind as he continued to bask in your presence. Your hair, your eyes, your smile, your hands, the way your brows creased when you asked a question to your nana, the way you looked up at him timidly only to look away, the way you nervously chewed on your bottom lip, the way that necklace he gave you laid on your skin, still there, as if you had never left, a sign that you perhaps still loved him as much as he loved you.

"So, how is the city treating ya?" Hyunjin asked you suddenly, eyes trained on you as they have been the entire evening.

"It's... okay." you answered but Hyunjin knew you were lying. He knew when you wore a fake smile and he knew the tone of your voice once you tried to convince yourself you're fine.

"Oh yeah? Got that job you always wanted, hm?" he asked and you looked up at him, trying to see if he was mocking you or resenting you but he looked genuinely curious.

"I did." you answered shortly, a knot forming in your stomach. "I got what I wanted." you forced another smile.

"I'm glad you did." he smiled and you felt the urge to cry again. You wondered what was wrong with you and shook your head, trying to will yourself to smile back at him.

"I always thought the two of you would get married." your nana chimed in, making you almost choke on a piece of bread. Hyunjin chuckled and looked at you.

"We're still young." he smirked a little and you started praying that the floor opens up and swallows you whole.

"You two remind me of us when we were younger." grandpa nodded with a smile.

No, you thought, please stop.

You were really going to start crying.

"Excuse me. I need some air." you stood up abruptly, the chair almost falling over behind you.

Hyunjin watched as you ran out of the front door and he stood up too, excusing himself and following you.

You stood on the porch, hugging yourself and sniffling.

"Y/n?" Hyunjin approached you cautiously. You quickly wiped your tears away with the sleeve of your cardigan before turning to look at him.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Sure." you nodded but he knew you were crying.

"You wanna take a walk?" Hyunjin asked, biting on his lip and you chuckled, shaking your head.

"Yeah, why not." you nodded, maybe it was time to stop avoiding him.

You didn't even discuss where you were going to go, you just started walking together in the same direction you always did while you grew up here. It was quiet for a while, only the song of the crickets filling up your ears, a few distant barks and the breeze rustling through the leaves.

"So, what have you been doing?" you asked, trying to break the ice. You couldn't believe you felt so awkward with someone you could talk to the easiest with, out of anyone in your entire life.

"Me? Oh, you know... Working around the farm. I repaired the entire house with some of my mates. It was in a really bad shape, if you remember. We re-did everything, even the roofing and the pipes. Repainted the entire place, changed the furniture... So, it's now like a new house. And I have horses and chickens. A garden. I mean, I work all day, help out others too." he chuckled. "My parents are in the city, they visit sometimes. But, mostly I'm here with Rina, she has been my best friend for three years now."

"Rina?" your stomach dropped instantly.

"Yes, that overprotective black dog that barked at you." Hyunjin smirked at your expression.

"Oh... That's Rina." you said absentmindedly, finally glancing at him.

Your heart stopped.

The necklace. He must've unbuttoned one more button while you were walking, making the other half of the heart visible under his collarbone. He never stopped wearing it either. Suddenly, your stomach filled up with butterflies.

"She's wary of strangers coming near me."

Ouch.

"Yeah." you turned away, the butterflies turning into a feeling of nausea.

"I mean, strangers to her." Hyunjin clarified, realizing how he sounded.

"Yeah, I understand." you gave him a smile you hoped looked real, because you were seconds away from crying. "You still paint?" you decided to change the subject.

"Oh yeah, all the time." he smiled. "Enough about me. What about you?"

"Me? I also work all day. In the office. It's... interesting, I guess. I bought an apartment recently, it's really modern." you talked, realizing how empty your words sounded then. You had no idea what to tell Hyunjin. He had all these projects and people who care about him, animals he cares for and his hobbies. Meanwhile, all you had was a job you ended up hating and no one to come home to.

"I travel a lot." you added, trying to fill up the silence. "For work but also for fun, with some of my coworkers. We went all the way to Bali last year. It was a fun trip, you know. Stuff like that."

"Sounds exhilarating." Hyunjin said, sounding anything but. "Anyone special in your life?"

Why did he ask that.

"No, nobody." you quickly answered.

Hyunjin was hoping you'd say that.

"Good. I mean- Me neither." he coughed awkwardly and stopped walking. You were about to ask why he stopped when you noticed where you were.

"Oh." you let out a chuckle, your face warming up.

You hadn't even realized you came to the only park in the village, and not just that, you were standing in front of your and Hyunjin's bench, where you used to sit after school, talking and kissing.

And well, you sat here on many evenings just like this one, making out. Your face started burning suddenly.

"Shall we sit?" Hyunjin asked and you nodded reluctantly as you felt like you were going to throw up from nerves. The two of you sat down, the silence stretching between you again.

"I-" Hyunjin opened his mouth, then closed them, repeating the action a few times, his brows furrowing and cheeks rosy, his hands gripping the edge of the bench like he was struggling to get his words out. You were almost swallowed by the nerves you felt in that moment, you were scared that he was going to tell you off, just what you deserve.

"I tried to find you." he let out a shaky exhale. "You covered up your tracks pretty well." he scoffed. "I mean, I got the message. You didn't want to see me ever again. And I'd be fine with that if only you gave me a reason, told me why you just disappeared from my life when you've been a part of it since forever. I thought for some time that you have completely abandoned me. But, somewhere deep in my soul I knew you'd be back one day, Y/n."

"Hyunjin..." your bottom lip trembled as your eyes watered. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I made a huge mistake. And I would totally understand if you hated me or resented me and never wanted to forgive me. Just know I felt bad the entire time and I still do." you were full on crying and feeling embarrassed, you looked away from Hyunjin.

"I could never hate you, little bunny." his voice sounded soft and you willed yourself to look at him while you wiped your tears away even though they kept coming. "And I forgave you a long time ago." he whispered. You noticed he was sitting closer to you and your body trembled.

"You did? Why?" you asked quietly.

"Because it's you." he answered simply and you felt annoyed, wanting to hear more. But, before you could ask Hyunjin stood up abruptly.

"Let's meet up tomorrow. Have a picnic like we always used to." he said and you stood up too.

You stared at him and kept thinking, could things go back to how they were before?

You felt as if there was something he wasn't telling you yet, there was no way he forgave you so easily for abandoning him.

"What do you say?" Hyunjin looked at you hopefully.

"Sure. Yeah." you nodded, your body swirling with feelings of confusion, excitement, nostalgia, happiness, sadness... You had no idea how to explain it.

"Great. I'll come to your house around 10am."

"Sounds good."

"Let me walk you home." he added, the two of you walking and talking about the village, who stayed and who moved, which new stores opened and all the other insignificant little things just to avoid the big elephant that needed to be addressed.

"I'll see you tomorrow, bunny." Hyunjin put his hands in his jeans pockets, trying to look nonchalant.

"See you." you hurried inside.

"And that smile?" your nana's voice scared you.

"Oh, nana! Ugh, nothing. I'm just going to see Hyunjin tomorrow." you answered quickly.

"Oh. Hyunjin." she smirked knowingly. "Well, have a good night." she winked before leaving to her room.

You hoped you were going to be able to sleep tonight.

You managed to sleep through the rooster's wake up call, opening your eyes just in time to get ready for your picnic date.

Was it a date? You had no idea what was going to happen but still you wore another pretty dress and put on your makeup. You decided to wear extra shiny lipgloss to make your lips stand out, hopefully get Hyunjin's attention. You felt giddy, like you were that same school girl meeting up her boyfriend, the love of her life.

"Oh, dear you look so pretty." your grandma noted when you came downstairs.

"Thank you, nana." you smiled.

"Are you gonna eat anything?"

"No, Hyunjin told me not to worry and that he'd bring everything."

"Okay, well have fun you two!" she winked at you and you kissed her cheek before skipping out of the house and towards the street where Hyunjin said he'd wait for you.

He wasn't there yet so you stood in place, shifting from foot to foot and wondering why he is late since he'd always been punctual. It was already almost 10:15 and you were beginning to think he had played a cruel joke on you. You were already tearing up at the thought of that but maybe you deserved it after the way you treated him.

You were about to turn around and leave but you heard heavy footsteps running towards you.

"Y/n! I'm so sorry for being late!" it was a breathless Hyunjin, leaning his palms against his knees as he scrunched his face up and tried to calm his heart. "I ran into Chan on the way and he needed help carrying some things, I couldn't say no." he swallowed, straightening up.

Just then you noticed the backpack on his shoulders and the thin sheen of sweat forming on his forehead, the tanktop was there again and your eyes followed all the veins popping out.

"Oh, it's okay." you shook your head, feeling stupid.

"Shall we?" he smiled and you nodded, letting him lead the way. His eyes lingered on your lips for a while as he bit on his, before starting to walk. It was clear to you where you were going, the tree was your picnic and stargazing spot for years.

"I saw you by the tree the other day." Hyunjin said, putting his backpack down and opening it.

"Oh? You did?" your heart climbed up your throat.

"Yeah." he smiled. " I thought I was hallucinating."

You chuckled, feeling the need to smack his arm like you always did when he made you laugh but you refrained from doing so.

"Nope, I'm here." you said, helping him put the blanket down.

"I'm glad you are." he said and the two of you sat down, Hyunjin taking everything that he had packed out; fruit salad, sandwiches, coffee. You didn't feel like you deserved this. You wanted to ask him so many things. Like why did he carve his name alone in the tree trunk, why did he seem so normal about all of this, why didn't he just yell at you, like any other person would after being hurt.

"Hyunjin?" you gulped, poking around the plastic container with the fruit. He gave you an unreadable look, his brows furrowing.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" he said and you chuckled nervously.

"Well, that's your name."

"Yeah but you always called me nicknames. Like Jinnie or Hyune. And other things." he looked at the field of flowers swaying in front of you.

You hadn't answered so he turned to look at you.

"Why aren't you yelling at me or cursing me out?" you asked and Hyunjin's eyes widened a little.

"Why would I do that?" he tilted his head.

"Because I promised I'd love you forever and I left. I didn't even come back for six years, I thought I was doing a good thing. That I'd be better off in the city and you'd be better off without me. That I'd be able to move on and forget you. I thought I'd never come back here but after what happened-" your shut your lips tightly, eyes watering. "After being disappointed with everything I thought I wanted in my life, I came back here and expected to see that you moved on or even gotten married. I expected you to hate me, yell at me, curse at me. But here we are, sitting under our tree, having a picnic like I never broke your heart and mine." you were now full on crying, your bottom lip trembling and hands shaking.

Hyunjin observed you with a wistful look in his eyes before smiling softly.

"You wanna know why I'm not yelling or cursing at you?" he said, leaning closer to you.

"W-why?" you stuttered, he got into your private space and even though he changed and grew, he still had that comforting scent of Hyunjin, the one that brought you so much comfort and nostalgia.

"Because of this." he reached towards you and gently gripped the pendant of your necklace between his fingertips. "You're still wearing our necklace. And that tells me everything I need to know. Bunny, I've known you my whole life, I've loved you my whole life. I knew you wouldn't be happy in the city and I knew you'd come back here to me one day. I know that because we were made for each other and because I could feel you inside me every day. I just knew our story wasn't over, it was just beginning."

You were at a loss of words, crying and sobbing as Hyunjin talked, feeling embarrassed and also like you wanted to roll down the hill from excitement. You wiped at your face, trying not to screw up the makeup you worked so hard on while letting his words settle inside your head.

"Oh my god, Hyunjin!" you shrieked suddenly, grabbing onto his arm on accident.

"Y/n." he laughed as you kept squealing and gripping at his bicep while a little bee flew around your body. "It's just a bee, don't be scared."

"Please, make it go away." you whined.

"What can I do, a bee found a pretty flower." Hyunjin smirked at you then and you looked up at him with your eyes squinted before slapping his arm. The loud sound made you jolt a little and you looked down at the muscle, something fluttering inside you. Your cheeks warmed up instantly. Hyunjin smirked, his other hand cupping your jaw gently as he made you look at him.

"You didn't break your promise, doll. You still love me." he smiled.

"I do." you confessed quietly and his eyes sparkled a little as he leaned in closer. His eyes fluttered, his cheeks became rosy and his warm breath caressed your lips. You jolted away suddenly, afraid and you had no idea why.

"I'm sorry!" you said quickly, placing your palm over your heart. Hyunjin looked a little confused, his fingers twitching as his hands longed to comfort you in any way they could.

"I got nervous." you said and Hyunjin laughed.

"Don't laugh at me!" you whined with a pout, kicking your feet a little and that made him laugh even harder. "Stop it." you crossed your arms over your chest with a little huff escaping your lips.

"You're just so cute, bunny." how many times has he told you that and it still made your heart flutter. "It's okay. I waited for you for six years, I can wait a little more."

"I just didn't expect things to go like this." you swallowed and Hyunjin scooted closer to you, tentatively touching your fingertips with his. That was enough for you to feel the electricity running through your body.

"I understand. We'll fall back into us in no time."

"You think so?" you asked, inching closer to him, your fingers now playing with his.

"I know so." he smiled confidently. "Just have to ask one question."

"Anything." you nodded.

"Are you back for good or just the anniversary?"

You looked down and took in a deep breath.

"Please don't tell this to my grandparents yet. But I am back for good. I quit my job and sold my apartment, I didn't tell them anything because I am just waiting for the right moment." your voice trembled.

"Didn't something happen?" Hyunjin asked, leaning down to look at your face.

"Just... People were disgusting. The job was depressing. The apartment was cold. The city was lonely. And maybe a part of me hoped you'd be here waiting for me no matter how selfish that is. Because, I don't think I could ever stop loving you, Jinnie. Even if someone wiped away my entire memory I would still have you engraved inside my heart."

"Bunny." Hyunjin cupped your cheeks. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone anything. I'm sad you went through all of that but it brought you back here, didn't it?"

You nodded.

"And I am glad it did." he leaned in again.

"Ack! The bee!" you squealed as the little creature came back to buzzing around you.

"Silly." Hyunjin chuckled under his breath, 'shielding' you from the scary bee.

You felt as if a stone has been lifted off of your heart as the two of you continued catching up and reminiscing of the good old days. Hours passed by so quickly that you almost didn't realize it was lunch time.

"Nana is expecting me at home for lunch. Do you wanna join us?" you asked with a timid smile.

"I'd love to but Chan invited me to his house for lunch today. We'll come to you tomorrow, he is also excited to see you again, you know that you were always like a little sister to him."

"Oh, I'm excited to see him too." you chuckled.

You couldn't believe that everyone has welcomed you with open arms after you left like that and you were still trying to come to terms that you won't be going back to the city ever again.

When Hyunjin said him and Chan would come around to help your grandpa repair the fence out back, you totally forgot about the fact that Hyunjin would be in a sleeveless top, flexing his muscles and wiping away his sweat constantly. Summer was knocking at the door and the sun was high in the sky. You wore the red dress from the first day, the one Hyunjin stared at so intently when you stood outside of his house. When Chan saw you he made a funny squealing noise, running up to you and picking you up as if you were paper doll, spinning you around as you screamed at him to put you down.

"Aww little Y/n is back!" he pinched your cheeks and you smacked his hands away with a pout.

"I'm only three years younger than you, bro." you emphasized and he laughed.

"I'm glad to see you here. I was beginning to think our Hyunjinnie would die alone." he smirked and Hyunjin punched his side with his fist mumbling a 'shut up or else' and you let out a laugh.

"Congrats on getting married, old man." you smirked and Hyunjin was glad you teased Chan back, a snicker escaping his lips.

"Didn't you say a moment ago it was only three years difference?" he smirked back and you exhaled, rolling your eyes playfully.

"Enough chit-chat. Time to work, boys." you chuckled, sitting at the table your granparents put in the backyard. It was placed under a tree that gave a good shade to it, so it wasn't as hot as it would be but for you it felt like you were enveloped by the sun itself.

Hyunjin was working in the sunlight, his soft skin glistening with sweat almost making him look ethereal and unreal. His muscles were flexing constantly as he moved and lifted stuff up, the veins popping out and now visible everywhere on his arms, hands and even his neck. You were feeling very hot and bothered, feeling like you couldn't breathe properly as your legs pressed together. He glanced at you a few times and you saw the little smirk on his face.

He was provoking you on purpose, the little tease.

Two can play this game, you thought and got up, entering the house so you could find a little towel. You took that time to put on more lipgloss and adjust your dress so your cleavage was more visible.

"There." you nodded to yourself with a smirk before walking back outside and straight towards Hyunjin.

"It's hot, isn't it?" your voice sounded sweet, dripping with honey as you hovered over him where he kneeled, working on the fence. He looked up at you, covering his forehead with his hand so the sun doesn't get into his eyes. His mouth went dry instantly, your bare thighs were right in front of his eyes and your chest on display as you leaned over him.

"Hot. Yes." he managed to say.

"Let me help you with that, Jinnie." you smirked, leaning down a little more as you started gently patting at his forehead, wiping the sweat off and he just sat there breathing heavily as you kept going lower, patting his neck now, noticing how he leaned into your touch, how his eyes fluttered and his breath hitched.

"Better?" you moved away suddenly and he snapped from his trance.

"Y-Yeah."

"Thirsty?" you asked, louder so Chan hears it too.

"Yes!" Chan yelled, his back turned to you thankfully.

You smirked as Hyunjin gulped, staring after you as you turned around towards the house to make some lemonade for the boys. Hyunjin couldn't stop staring at you when they took a break, munching on some cookies your nana made and drinking the fresh lemonade. His eyes fixated on your shiny lips and he longed to taste you once again. Chan kept yapping about his wife and farm enthusiastically and you kept nodding and chuckling all the while Hyunjin didn't even hear a word that came out of Chan's mouth.

It was almost sundown when the boys were done and nana invited them to stay over for dinner, ushering them both to first wash their hands thoroughly before touching any food. The atmosphere was warm and homely, a happy feeling swelling inside your chest. You were home, where you were always supposed to be, where you belonged, with Hyunjin.

"I'll be right back." you stood up after dinner, running upstairs to fix your makeup.

Hyunjin waited for a moment before he followed you to your room. You walked out of the bathroom when he appeared on the doorway, leaning there with a fond smile on his face.

"It looks like a time capsule in here." he looked around in wonder, taking a tentative step inside.

"You haven't been up here?" you asked, eyebrows raised as he looked around, taking in all the memories you two had created together.

"No, your grandparents kept it closed. There was no need for me to be here." Hyunjin's eyes lit up when he looked at your bed. "Jinnie! You kept him!" he pointed to your teddy bear, walking in and picking it up.

"Of course I did. I kept everything."

"Even those cute diaries?" Hyunjin smirked. "Dear diary, today Jinnie and I held hands for the first time as boyfriend and girlfriend. Everyone saw us walking to school together-"

"Shut up!" you squealed, ripping the teddy away from him and smacking him with it multiple times as he laughed at your red cheeks.

"What? It was cute." he giggled, slinking away from your attack.

"It's embarrassing. Even more because you still remember what I wrote. Are you sure you haven't been up here?" you teased, putting Jinnie back on the bed and walking to your table.

"I haven't since the last time we were here together." Hyunjin was behind you suddenly, his voice low as his lips brushed against your ear. You gasped, remembering the last night you spent here with him, on top of him as he guided your hips against his slowly, wanting to make it last as long as possible so you never forget how he feels.

"Right." you turned abruptly, the back of your thighs colliding with the table as he hovered over you, so close you could feel the warmth radiating off of his body.

He smelled so good even after working in the sun almost all day and his skin looked like it needed to be touched, kissed, bitten. A zap of electricity ran through your body as Hyunjin leaned in even closer, his breath mingling with yours. Your eyes fluttered shut and then-

"Come to the lake with me tomorrow afternoon." his lips almost brushed against yours before he leaned away, leaving you frustrated.

"What?" you were lost momentarily.

"The lake. Let's meet there." he said and straightened up.

"Sure." you said and he smirked devilishly.

Just what was he planning now?

"Well, I gotta go home make sure Rina has her dinner and walk. See you tomorrow, doll."

With that, he left your room, his scent lingering all around you, making you want to roll in it and have him close. You couldn't wait for tomorrow.

-

The lake wasn't too far away from your house either, only a 15 minute walk full of chatter and laughter. Your bare arm brushed against Hyunjin's a few times, making you feel like your skin burned whenever it touched his. It almost felt as if everything was going back to normal, like it was before but at the same time you couldn't ignore the things that had changed about Hyunjin.

It was clear; he was no longer a boy, he was a man.

The way he carried himself and the way he spoke was more confident and masculine than that shy awkward Jinnie that tripped over his feet and his words, his cheeks constantly red in your presence. But the way he looked at you full of adoration, that had never changed.

"What made you cut your hair?" you asked as the two of you approached the lake. Hyunjin's hand instanly ran over his head as he laughed.

"It's kinda hard to work with all that hair flying everywhere. It was a nuisance, really. And... You seemed to like it a lot, you always played with it, braided it... But when you left, I figured there was no point in keeping it so I shaved it off."

"Oh." you sighed.

"You don't like it?" he asked cutely, the two of you stopping near the lake.

"No, no, I do. It looks very manly." you said, your cheeks burning up. You didn't say how you thought it accentuated all his beautiful, sharp features, his jawline and his neck that was so enticing to you.

"It does, hm?" he smirked, leaning in closer.

"Yeah." you leaned back a little, your stomach doing flips.

Hyunjin snickered and leaned away with a smirk.

"I have a dare for you." he said and you raised your eyebrow at him.

Hyunjin looked around before smirking at you again, getting into your personal space.

"I dare you to swim naked with me." he said and you almost stopped functioning.

"What? Are you crazy?" you punched his arm but it was more just a tap to him as he didn't even budge, chuckling at you as he crossed his arms over his chest. God, his arms.

"It's not like I haven't seen it all anyways." he said and you gasped.

"Oh my god." you looked away from him, your heart beating hard. "Okay, but only if we leave our underwear on."

"Alright, deal." he smirked and took his shirt off, tossing it aside.

You shrieked, turning away from him because you weren't sure if your heart could take it. Hyunjin laughed, getting rid of his pants without a care in the world.

"Don't get shy, you saw it all." he said and you took a deep breath in before looking back at him.

It's all yours, Hyunjin thought but bit his tongue.

Your eyes went wide and your lips parted in a gasp. Hyunjin was always lean and athletic, but now he was even more chiseled, his thighs were more muscular too, all the little tattoos he had hidden were now visible to you. And the worse thing was that you could see the bulge in his boxers so you averted your eyes, feeling like you might've stopped breathing for a second or two.

"Your turn." he nodded at you with a knowing smirk and you scrambled to take off your dress, feeling embarrassed for some reason. You didn't wear any flashy underwear, just regular black panties and a matching bra that only had a few lacy flowers at the top. It was enough to make Hyunjin drool.

"Beautiful." he muttered quietly, it was your body that he knew very well, the one he mapped out with caresses and kisses, your skin that he marked with his teeth, you who he held in his arms countless times.

"What did you say?" you didn't hear him, shivering a little despite the sun still being up.

"Nothing." he smiled. "Let's get in the water."

You nodded and followed him as he got into the water first, hissing at the coldness before he reached his hands towards you to help you get in.

"Is it very cold?" you asked and he chuckled.

"We swam here multiple times, you know how cold the water is. Just get in, we'll warm up." he encouraged you.

"Fine." you rolled your eyes in fake annoyance as you grabbed onto his hands, warmth filling you up from the simple touch, even though the water was almost freezing cold.

"Motherfucker!" you hissed when it touched your stomach and Hyunjin laughed, dipping in and splashing you a little.

"Don't." you warned but it was to no avail, Hyunjin had that familiar mischievous look on his face, eyes sparkly and dimples showing as he lifted his hands and splashed you harder.

"Hyune!" you shrieked and returned the favor, splashing him back.

"Ah!" he screamed out, followed by a series of giggles as he shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face. "I'll get you for that." he added, swimming towards you.

Another squeal left your lips as you dipped in and started swimming away, Hyunjin's laughter ringing behind you. How you missed the sound of that. Just as you thought you got away from him, you felt his hands grabbing at your waist as he pulled you closer to him, the water splashing loudly as you flailed your arms and screamed, giggling. His strong arms wrapped around your middle and he pulled you flush against his body, skin against skin and you melted, grabbing onto his hands and resting your palms over them.

"I missed you like crazy." his lips brushed against the side of your neck. "You have no idea just how much." they pressed gently into your skin.

"I missed you too." your voice came out breathy as Hyunjin kissed the droplets of water rolling down your neck.

"Yeah? Show me how much." he turned you around so quickly that you gasped and grabbed onto his shoulders.

You wanted to say something, anything but you were already too far gone so you wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he wrapped his around your waist and pulled you into him. It was as if every atom of your being craved to be close to him, starved for years and now finally feeding the hunger and need you had for Hyunjin.

No matter how many time Hyunjin held you, it always made your stomach flip and it was no different now. You felt how hard his heart was beating against his chest and his eyes darkened just a little as he observed you. Your hand touched the back of his head, fingertips pressing against the soft, fuzzy buzzcut. His eyes fluttered and he leaned in, the tip of his nose brushing yours gently before his lips touched yours.

Everything came back. The first time you saw Hyunjin shyly smiling at you when you were five, the times you did your homework together after class only to end up playing instead of learning, the times you walked through the entire village, like it was all yours, the park, the lake, the street, the tree. The first kiss you shared that was timid and awkward but still sweet because it was with him, the times he held you close, loving you, deep inside you and wrapped around you, all the time he was there for you, holding your hand, wiping your tears away, making plans of the future he wanted to share with you. It was your Jinnie.

The only man you ever loved.

"Bunny, what's wrong?" you didn't even realize you were crying and Hyunjin cupped your face gently with his cold hands.

"I love you." you said, lifting the last of the weight. Hyunjin's body trembled against you.

"I love you." he whispered on your lips, kissing you harder as you pressed as close as you could to each other.

"You really don't resent me for leaving?" you asked when you parted for air.

"No, bunny, I know you just wanted to finish your studies, try your hand at a career like that. I mean, you could've done all that with me by your side even if it was a long distance relationship. You know I would support you. But, I get it. You thought you'd never come back here and that I would never leave."

"Hyunjin, I'm sorry." you cried again. "I don't deserve you."

"Shh, yes you do. Yes you do, bunny. You know me better than anyone, you were there for me always whenever I was going through a hard time."

"I wasn't there for the last six years."

"You're here now." Hyunjin kissed you again in an attempt to soothe you and distract you and it was working as you melted against his lips, soon forgetting about everything that was bothering you as the world disappeared like it always did with him.

Hyunjin's tongue collided with yours, the familiar taste of him waking up all of your senses as he gripped you harder and kissed you like his entire life depended on it.

"Bunny." he smiled, pressing his forehead against yours.

"Jinnie." you whispered and he pecked your lips once more before swimming backwards with a smirk.

"Catch me!" Hyunjin teased, swimming faster and you let out a noise of protest, knowing you weren't gonna be able to. "Catch me or you lose your dress!"

"What?!" you shrieked as he laughed, swimming towards the shore and quickly grabbing onto the stones.

"Hyunjin, don't you dare!" you yelled when he got out of the water, almost slipping as he laughed and ran to grab all your clothes.

You swam quicker, almost getting to the shore as he snickered and bolted away with your dress and his clothes.

"Hyunjin!" you yelled, struggling to get out of the water as the sound of his laughter drifted further away.

"Bastard." you muttered when you managed to climb out of the water, shivering as the sun was about to go down. There was no way he left you here without anything, especially when the sky was darkening quickly.

"Hyunjin, this isn't funny!" you yelled, taking a few steps forward, realizing he even grabbed your sandals. You cursed under your breath, looking around when suddenly-

"Boo!" Hyunjin sneaked behind you, scaring you out of your wits.

"You bastard!" you whined and he just laughed, reaching your dress towards you. And he was already dressed, the tease.

You were about to snatch it when he lifted his arm, holding it out of your reach. Maybe some things haven't changed like the way Hyunjin would always test your patience, claiming you were so adorable when you were annoyed.

"Ugh!" you jumped up to grab it but he moved it, giggling as he looked down at you.

"Hyunjin, give me my dress." you slapped his chest as he kept laughing and moving the dress away.

"I think you look prettier like this." he looked down at your chest and you gasped, covering yourself up.

"I'm cold, Hyunjin." you said and he shook his head.

"Here." he put the dress in front of your face and you eyed him for a moment before finally grabbing it and putting it on. He gave you your shoes and you put them on quickly as the sun almost set. Your bodies were still wet and putting the clothes over them made it worse.

"I'm really cold." you said and Hyunjin pulled you into his side as he led you back towards your house.

"You should come see how I repaired and decorated the place. Meet Rina too." Hyunjin smiled, rubbing your arm in an attempt to warm you up at least a little.

"Some other day, what I need right now is a warm bath." you sighed.

"I have a bath." Hyunjin smirked.

"I'm sure you do." you lifted one eyebrow at him as he kept chuckling.

As you made your way to your house, you felt so giddy, almost as if no distance ever existed between Hyunjin and you.

"I'll see you tomorrow at the anniversary dinner." you smiled as you arrived in front of the gate.

"Mhm." he smirked, holding your hands and staring into your eyes. You stood on your tippy-toes, pouting at him and he chuckled, leaning down as he grabbed your face gently and kissed you slowly like he was savoring the moment. Your arms wrapped around his waist and you pulled him in, your bodies heating up against one another.

"Good night, Jinnie." you whispered, pecking him again.

"Night, bunny. Dream about me." Hyunjin smirked, kissing the corner of your lips.

There was no way you were even sleeping tonight.

-

"Good morning!" you practically glided into the kitchen, seeing both your grandparents there.

"Look at you, I'm guessing it went well with Hyunjin, huh?" nana smiled.

"Oh, it did." you said and your grandparents just exchanged knowing looks but decides not to pry. You were walking on cloud 9 all day and you couldn't wait to see Hyunjin again.

You took extra time to do your hair and makeup and wear a nice black dress with heels for tonight, hoping to make Hyunjin's knees buckle just as he made you feel weak. Half of the village was invited to the anniversary dinner and you were so estatic to see all the people you haven't seen for years again and catch up with them. You were pulled left and right, everyone was equally as excited to talk to you, your old neighbors and friends were glad to have you back. Hyunjin arrived a little later and your heart almost leaped out of your chest when he walked in.

"Hey there, little bunny." he smirked, leaning in closer to you as his lips brushed against your cheek.

"Hey, Jinnie." you let out a giggle as your body heated up from the simplest touch.

"You look stunning." he gently grabbed your hand and gave you the elevator eyes.

"You look handsome." you returned the compliment and he squeezed your hand.

"Yeah?" he teased and you rolled your eyes playfully, pushing him away a little.

The dinner went smoothly, everyone was talking and having fun, the food was delicious as always which is something you missed in the city, and after the biggest toast to your grandparents' love and devotion, came more toasts and the glasses were never empty. You were a lightweight so you didn't drink too much, two and a half glasses were enough for you to feel the pleasant warm buzz inside your body. Hyunjin on the other hand, kept drinking with Chan and some of his other friends, his laughter echoing in the room and his face completely red. How much did he have?, you wondered since you knew he could drink a lot more than you before becoming like this.

After dinner, some of the neighbors left home, leaving only a few of you sitting together in the patio out back. Hyunjin slid next to you on the swinging bench with a dumb smile on his face, his dimples visible and his eyes almost disappearing.

"Hey there pretty girl." he giggled, leaning his cheek on your shoulder and pulling you close to him quickly, startling you a little from the suddenness of the movement.

"Jinnie, you're drunk." you let out a laugh as he whined and nuzzled his face into your neck.

"Drunk or not, you're always pretty to me." he smiled against your skin, pressing his lips into your neck and kissing you gently.

"My grandparents are there at the table." you chuckled, trying to pry him off of you as your cheeks burned.

"Did you tell them you're staying here with me forever?" Hyunjin leaned back a little and looked up at you with a cute, hopeful expression on his face. Your heart skipped a beat as you wrapped your arms around him and he leaned against your chest.

"I'll tell them soon." you whispered and he rubbed his cheek against you.

"Mm." he sighed, closing his eyes and getting even closer to you, draping his leg over you and trapping you there with him.

"Hyunjin?" you chuckled after a few moments, caressing the back of his head but there was no answer. "Are you sleeping?" you looked down and sure enough, your Jinnie was fast asleep on you, his face smushed against your breast.

"Poor soul." Lino, one of your high school friends came up to you together with Chan.

"I think he is right where he wants to be." Chan smirked and you really wanted to kick his shin but Hyunjin's leg was blocking your movement.

"Please help me take him upstairs, I don't want him to go home like this." you asked and even though they wanted to tease the both of you, they decided to help. Hyunjin blinked confusedly when Chan shook him lightly.

"Hyunjinnie. We have to go inside." he told him.

"Noooo!" Hyunjin wailed dramatically and gripped you tighter.

"You can sleep upstairs in my bed." you said and immediately he lit up.

"I can?" Hyunjin smiled cutely and you nodded.

He started babbling about how happy he was as Lino and Chan lifted him and helped him get upstairs before they bid you good night and left with teasing smirks on their faces. Hyunjin sobered up enough to brush his teeth before he started throwing his clothes off like they were the biggest nuisance in the world. You just finished getting ready for bed, wearing your favorite nightgown when you walked back into your room and saw Hyunjin almost naked, in the process of taking his pants off. He hopped on one leg cursing and looking like a major klutz as he almost fell down while you observed him and giggled.

"Fuck this!" he whined, throwing himself on your bed and letting out an exhale.

"Need some help?" you walked closer to the bed and Hyunjin smirked at you.

"Please." he nodded.

You managed to slide his pants off, putting them aside before Hyunjin wrapped his legs around you and pulled you towards him, making you lose balance and fall on top of him.

"Jinnie!" you gasped and he chuckled, brushing your hair behind your ears.

"Being in this room with you is like you never left." he whispered and before you could even answer, he flipped you over so now your body was caged under his. Your breath got caught in your throat as you blinked up at him. "This bed, where I made you mine for the first time. Brings back so many memories." he added with a smirk, his plush lips on yours instanly. You let out a little sound of protest because you definitely did not want your first time after being back to the village to be when you're both tipsy.

"Wait, wait." you stopped him, your hands planted on his chest and you were trying to ignore how his muscles felt under your palms.

"What's wrong, bunny?" Hyunjin asked, lips ghosting over your jaw.

"I- I don't wanna do it like this, I want us both to be completely present and sober. I think we should go to sleep now." you said and Hyunjin smirked once again, his big hands on your waist, caressing you as he kissed your cheeks.

"Sleep, hm?" he teased, his hands ghosting over your body but not touching you exactly how you wanted him. Goosebumps rose on your skin as your eyes fluttered and you gripped onto his arms. "As you wish, doll." Hyunjin smirked and rolled off of you, getting comfy on your small bed. You forgot just how small it was, whenever he would secretly sleep over you were both cramped up in the bed and it usually ended with you lying on top of his body as he held you.

Hyunjin grabbed your teddy and wrapped his arms around it as he smirked at you sleepily.

"Give Jinnie to me." you demanded and he chuckled.

"No." Hyunjin shook his head. "You come here to us." he beckoned you with his arm and you gulped, hesitating for a moment and just looking at Hyunjin sprawled on your bed in nothing but his boxers. It was truly a sight for sore eyes and you couldn't get over the fact that he has gotten even hotter than he was six years ago. You let out a sigh and laid down in his arms, your head on his chest and your ear pressed against his heart that was beating erratically.

"Good night, Jinnie." you whispered after you managed to relax and melt into him, telling yourself that no matter how much time has passed and what he looked like now, he was still your Hyunjin.

You stirred in your bed, the weight and warmth of Hyunjin's body was gone and for a second you thought last night was just a dream but when you opened your eyes and looked to your right, you saw a small makeshift flower bouquet placed in Jinnie's paw and a note next to it. A smile spread on your face as you rolled over on your tummy and grabbed the note.

'Good morning, beautiful. Come to my house around lunch time.'

There was little hearts drawn at the end and Hyunjin's name scribbled down. You squealed in happiness, hugging Jinnie and pressing your face into the teddy, inhaling Hyunjin's scent that stayed everywhere on your bed and made you feel crazy.

You had an extra pep in your step when you came downstairs, trying to find your grandparents so you could tell them you're planning on staying. After searching around the kitchen and living room, you finally spotted them sitting in the backyard, talking and laughing as they enjoyed a warm cup of coffee. You smiled, observing them for a moment and remembering all the times you thought about Hyunjin and you spending the rest of your life together like them and it made your heart flutter.

"Good morning." you walked over to them and they greeted you with a smile.

"Sit with us, honey." nana said, pouring you a cup of coffee and giving you some cookies.

"Slept well?" she teased you and your face started burning immediately.

"Yes." you chuckled. "Um. I have to tell you both something."

"What is it?" grandpa asked and you took a deep breath in, explaining to them how unhappy you actually were in the city, how hard it was for you and how alone you felt. You told them about the multiple times you wanted to drop everything and come back to the village but something always stopped you from throwing away everything you worked so hard for, and then you explained how you quit your job after having to compete for a higher position but the girl you were competing with was bullying you and slept with your boss, which made her get the promotion you broke your back over just with your work. That was your last straw and you just couldn't stay there anymore.

By the time you finished explaining all of it both you and your nana were crying.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything before and made you think I was just visiting but I had no idea if you'd be willing to let me come back here for good." you sobbed.

"What are you talking about Y/n? Of course you can always come back here, this is your home. And we both missed you so much, right?" nana looked at your grandpa and he nodded in agreement. "That's right, we are so happy to have you here." he added and you felt the last stone lifting from your heart, relief washing over you that now everything has been clarified. You were back home and you were never leaving again.

-

Around lunch time, you were ready and buzzing, finally you were going to Hyunjin's house. As you approached it, Rina ran towards the fence, barking at you which caught Hyunjin's attention and he came out of the house, wearing an apron and a tanktop, making your mind dizzy. You were sure he was doing this on purpose to mess with you cause he knew very well how much power he had over you.

"Easy girl." he cooed at the dog, coming closer to the two of you and petting her black fur as she looked at him and sat, panting happily upon getting caressed. "This is Y/n, she's not dangerous." he stated as you walked into the yard and approached Rina cautiously.

"Well, maybe for my heart but that's a different thing." Hyunjin smirked and your cheeks reddened as you looked away from his mischievous smile. Rina barked at you but her tail was wagging as she approached you and started sniffing you before jumping on you and almost pushing you down.

"Oh my god!" you chuckled, petting the dog as she hopped around you happily, barking and running from you to Hyunjin and then back to you.

"She loves you." Hyunjin smiled as he observed the two of you.

"She's just the sweetest." you said.

"And very protective over me." Hyunjin smirked and you rolled your eyes playfully at him. "Let me show you around." he added and you nodded, Rina following behind the two of you. It was still the same house and garden but you could see how much work Hyunjin put in it. The flower garden was more than beautiful, the rest of the garden was full of different vegetables Hyunjin was growing and he even had his own lemon tree. You could see the entire house has been repainted, the windows changed and even the stable with horses was repaired. "How do you maintain all of this alone?" you wondered as Hyunjin took you through the stables where he had three horses and out towards the chicken coop.

"I work all day." Hyunjin shrugged. "Besides, Chan and Lino help me sometimes. And some of our other neighbors too. I mean I typically wake up around 5am and go to bed around 10pm, sometimes 11." he explained and you admired his work ethic and his persistence.

"That's amazing. You're so hardworking and resilient." you praised him and his cheeks got rosy. You knew how Hyunjin always enjoyed getting compliments, especially when he did something right and especially when they came from you.

"It's definitely hard sometimes and I wish I had someone here with whom I can split the work up with." he gave you a look and it was your turn to become red.

"Thank you for the flowers." you said as you neared the chickens.

"That was the least I could give you. Sorry for getting drunk at your grandparents' anniversary dinner." he chuckled and you shook your head.

"You're fine, don't worry." you waved your hand.

While you were talking, a curious chicken came closer and gave you a startle, making you jump a little and grab onto Hyunjin's arm as you shrieked. Hyunjin burst out into laughter and you frowned at him.

"It's not funny!"

"It so is. That's literally just a chicken, Y/n." Hyunjin kept chuckling.

"A chicken that is out to get me!" you shrieked again as the said chicken kept walking towards you menacingly. "Ah!" you screamed as the chicken sped up towards you and you jumped back, scaring half of the other chickens and making Rina bark. One wrong move and you slipped, falling down into the muddy soil, the pretty white dress you put on now completely ruined. Rina ran to you and barked, wagging her tail as the chicken gave up and went on her merry way like this was her plan the entire time. Hyunjin stared at you in shock before he started laughing so hard that his face became red and he doubled over, gripping his stomach. You really wanted the earth to open up this time and pull you down so far so you never embarrass yourself in front of Hyunjin again.

"Stop laughing at me." you pouted, your eyes welling up with tears as you were planted on your knees and palms.

"I'm sorry, but that was just too funny." Hyunjin came closer to you and you looked up at him, trying to look as mad as you could but the tears in your eyes softened Hyunjin up. "Come here." he cooed at you, grabbing your arms gently and helping you lift up.

"My dress is ruined." you couldn't help the tears that started sliding down your cheeks.

"Don't cry bunny, you can shower here and I'll give you something to wear, hm?" Hyunjin touched your cheek, tenderly wiping your tears away with his thumb. You hiccuped and nodded and he chuckled at your cuteness, grabbing your face and leaning in to peck your lips.

He led you into the house and despite feeling embarrassed and sad that your pretty dress was ruined, you still felt shocked when you walked in. The house that was like your second home here looked completely different than it did while you were growing up here. Your wide eyes wondered everywhere, not only was it repaired and repainted, the furniture was new and rearranged differently and there was art everywhere that you presumed was probably Hyunjin's. Everything was so neat and pretty, his house seemed so warm and cozy, a place you could see yourself spending time in with him.

"What do you think?" Hyunjin chewed on his lip, looking at you cutely with wide sparkly eyes.

"Hyune, it's beautiful! I love what you did with it. Somehow, it seems more spacious and like there's more light coming in." you said and he giggled.

"Yes, I wanted to make use of natural light as much as I could." he led you upstairs to his bathroom. "Here, you can shower and I'll make some lunch for us." he added and you nodded as you kept marvelling at everything he did with the space. Hyunjin found a shirt that was oversized even on him so it would definitely be like a dress for you.

"Here." he gave you the shirt and smirked. "Need help?" he added as he motioned towards the shower.

"I think I can handle it." you giggled and Hyunjin gave you a kiss before leaving to the kitchen. You took in the state of yourself in the mirror, cursing quietly when you saw just how much mud you were covered up in. You slowly peeled off the dress and then your underwear, before stepping into the shower. You managed to wash off the mud pretty quickly, replaying the entire scene in your head and feeling more and more embarrassed the more you thought of it.

After drying off and putting your underwear back on, you grabbed Hyunjin's shirt and your gut stirred at the smell of him. You put it on, the fabric soft against your smooth skin and you melted into it, hugging yourself with a smile on your face. This was not the first time you wore his clothes and you missed the feeling of it, your mind wandering back to the nights you spent in his embrace, stealing his shirt after which would make him even more crazy for you.

You finally went downstairs, feeling a little shy as you pulled the shirt down even though Hyunjin had already seen everything before and even saw you in your underwear at the lake. When you walked into the kitchen, he was whistling to the music playing in the background while stirring at the stove. He looked up at you and his lips parted, eyes darkening instantly. "Bunny..." he let out a breath and walked closer to you. Your heart started pounding in your ears as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you into his body, his lips on yours instantly. You kissed back, gripping at him before you felt something nudging your leg. The two of you parted and saw Rina, wagging her tail happily and pushing her head into your body.

"She wants attention." you started petting her immediately. "Reminds me of someone." you teased and Hyunjin gasped, dramatically placing his hand on his chest.

"Comparing me to a dog, huh?" he shook his head with a smile as you shrugged. "You look so good in my shirt, doll." Hyunjin bit on his lip and your face burned. You thanked him sheepishly, making him chuckle before he went back to cooking and you joined him, helping him out and feeling so domestic, and like you were right where you belonged.

The lunch was delicious and the mud mishap was soon forgotten as Hyunjin gave you a full tour of the house, ending in his room where he showed you his favorite paintings and sketchbooks that were unsurprisingly full of you. You were flipping through one of them when he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his body, his lips on your neck. You gasped, your hands shaking and making you drop the sketchbook on the floor as Hyunjin gently kissed your skin. "Jinnie..." you exhaled when his tongue darted out to lick at you before he sunk his teeth in. You tilted your head, completely melting against him as your entire body started burning up.

"I craved you so much." Hyunjin nipped at your shoulder and you squeezed his hands.

"Me too." you whispered before turning in his arms and grabbing his face as you smashed your lips against his. Nothing mattered but him in that moment, the two of you had a hunger that could only be satiated with each other. Your kiss was harsh and sloppy, your teeth clashing and hands grabbing everywhere but neither of you cared.

You felt the fire inside you burning up and spreading all the way to the tips of your fingers that grazed Hyunjin's skin. You needed him more than ever and being with him here made you realize that you had no idea how you managed to live all these years without him.

"Bunny, I can't... I want to worship you and take my time with you so badly, I want to kiss every inch of your skin and make love to you but I can't... I need to have you right now." he panted hard as he grabbed at your hips, leading you to the bed.

"Take me Hyunjin, please. I need you so much." you gripped his arms and Hyunjin let out a low growl before pushing you down onto the bed. It was as if he had no idea what to do first, staring at you sprawled under him for a moment before he put his hands on your thighs, squeezing the flesh.

Your legs parted, the shirt riding up and revealing the red lace panties you wore. "Damn doll, are you trying to kill me?"

"Maybe." you giggled and Hyunjin smirked at you before spreading your legs more and lowering his middle on top of yours. You gasped a little when you felt his length pressing and rubbing against you. He leaned in closer to your face, his arms caging you in.

"Can you feel what you do to me, bunny?" he moaned, rolling his hips against yours. You knew he wanted to tease you but his mind was far too gone for that. Hyunjin has waited for years for you to come back and to be in his arms, for him to taste you, feel you, kiss you, be inside you.

"Hyune... Please..." you were no better, your entire body was yearning for him, every fiber of your being screamed his name. Hyunjin couldn't wait, he leaned back and took off his shirt so you did the same, revealing that you didn't wear a bra.

"Naughty bunny." Hyunjin smirked, giving you a look and you grabbed his wrists gently, placing his palms on your chest. Hyunjin's eyes fluttered as he squeezed, thumbs swiping on your sensitive nipples. He cursed under his breath as he kept massaging your breasts and rubbing against you. You lifted your hips up to meet his, you needed to feel more of him. Your fingers hooked in his pants and you tugged so he lifted up a little to take them off. Hyunjin leaned down to kiss you, his tongue dominating yours as he slid your panties off, then his boxers before placing his hands on your thighs again and caressing them. His lips traveled down your neck to your collarbone then to your breasts, kissing and nipping at the flesh before he wrapped them against your nipple, sucking harshly as his fingertips pressed on your clit. A loud moan slipped your lips as you gripped his shoulders.

"Hyunjin." you moaned desperately, your body arching into him and he shushed you, his fingers sliding through your wet folds, separating them before he slowly pushed his finger in. It was a welcomed intrusion after not being with anyone for years, you haven't even dated after going to the city, you still felt like you belonged to Hyunjin and you thought about him every day so even the thought of letting someone else touch you was too much for you.

Hyunjin slowly pumped his finger inside you, feeling how wet you were getting before adding another finger, scissoring you open for him. He noticed you seemed deep in thought so he slowed down and leaned in to look at you.

"Is something wrong, doll?" he asked and you snapped out of your thoughts.

"Have you been with anyone since I left?" you asked in a small voice, blinking at him and Hyunjin let out a chuckle.

"No, I waited for you." he whispered, kissing you gently and you clenched around him. "You like that, bunny? Like that I'm only yours?" he bit on your lip and looked at you teasingly as he continued fingering you.

"Yes, yes Hyunjin!" you moaned when he hit that special spot inside you and his eyes darkened.

"What about you, doll? Did you let someone else touch what's only mine, hm?" he asked, fucking you faster.

"N-no. Only you, Hyunjin. I'm only yours." you moaned and he growled lowly again, getting more worked up as he wrapped his hand around his length and pumped it a few times.

"You never stopped being mine, little bunny. And I never stopped being yours." he moaned, pulling his fingers out before licking at them. Your heart was beating hard at the sight and the words that he said. It was true, you were his from the moment you first saw him until the end of time.

"Missed your taste." he moaned before grabbing his cock and pressing it against your clit. "I don't have any condoms." he added and you moaned as he ran his hard tip on your folds.

"T-that was never a problem with us." you bit on your lip and Hyunjin moaned as he started slowly pushing inside you, filling you up perfectly and stretching you out just for him. You whimpered, your legs opening more as you welcomed him inside you, where he belonged. Hyunjin took a moment to gather himself when he bottomed out, his eyes fluttering shut as you squeezed around him.

"God, bunny. I missed this pussy so much." you moaned at the dirty way he spoke, clenching even harder around him. "I won't last long."

You whimpered as he started moving, his muscles contracting with each movement as his arms caged you. You couldn't stop admiring him on top of you; the buzzcut worked so well with the new, more manly look, his eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes dark as he bit on his lip, his cheeks flushed and a thin sheen of sweat forming on his skin, the veins portruding. He looked so beautiful like that, all lost in you as he moaned quietly. Your hands came up to touch the back of his neck and his shoulders, so smooth and firm and Hyunjin gripped your hips.

"Fuck, I can't!" he whined loudly before he started snapping his hips into you. Both of you were a moaning, desperate mess, missing each other for so long. Hyunjin's hands had a bruising grip on your hips, your nails dug into his flesh as you wrapped your legs around him and pressed your heels into his ass, making him go deeper. He moaned loudly, fucking you harder, his cock splitting you apart deliciously.

"I'm g-gonna cum!" he whined almost as if he was disappointed in himself for finishing so quickly but you couldn't really blame him because you were on the verge yourself.

"Cum inside me, Jinnie!" you moaned and his eyes went wide for a moment before he gripped you harder.

"Are you sure?" he panted and you nodded quickly, your nails leaving red angry marks on his skin.

"Yes please Hyune, I need to feel you." you moaned and he whimpered, fucking you harder and chasing his high and your legs started trembling around him. He knew you were close by your moans and the way your body reacted, the way your pussy clenched around him so hard like you wanted him inside you forever.

"Let go for me, doll." he encouraged you and you moaned, the coil snapping as you came around him, making him even more wet.

Hyunjin cursed and moaned loudly, his hips stuttering before he exploded, filling you up with his warm cum and riding his high as you held onto him. He plopped down on top of you as both of you tried to catch your breath.

"Y/n. My bunny, my love." Hyunjin smiled, kissing you gently as you held each other.

"Jinnie. I love you so much." you whispered against his lips and felt him twitch inside you.

"I love you more than anything, doll." he said before kissing you again, his tongue slowly massaging yours and making your body burn all over again. His hands were on your breasts, massaging and squeezing, gently pinching and pulling on your nipples as he kept stealing your breath. You felt him slowly becoming harder inside you and you clenched, your pussy sore but welcoming. You touched his back and caressed his head and neck, making him whimper against you. It didn't take long for him to become fully hard again.

"I'm gonna make love to you." he whispered, kissing your lips again then grabbing your hand and kissing it before pinning it down on the bed, next to your head, his other hand on your waist.

"Hyunjin." you moaned out his name as he started to slowly move inside you, the drag of his cock against your walls was driving you crazy. Your eyes fluttered shut and you let yourself melt into the moment, the space filling up with sounds of your bodies and your moans as you both got lost in loving each other. Your lips brushed against his jaw and neck, kissing him and gently licking at his skin, the droplets of sweat that were sliding down his neck. He threw his head back when you sunk your teeth into his skin, marking him as yours. Hyunjin's hips stuttered and he fucked you a little harder and deeper but still slowly.

Your eyes fluttered open and met with his, full of love and lust.

"I wanna be like this with you forever." he moaned and you squeezed him with your legs, your nails digging into his shoulders again.

"Me too, Hyune, I wanna be with you forever." you breathed out.

He sped up a little, his hands roaming all over your body, his sweat dripping down onto your skin, making everything hot and wet.

"Ah!" you whimpered when he hit the spot. "You feel perfect inside me."

Hyunjin groaned at the praise, his hips snapping into yours harder as his fingers found your sensitive clit, moving in circles and trying to bring you to your high. His lips were on your skin again, kissing, licking and nipping before he grabbed your breast with his free hand and wrapped his lips around your nipple, sucking hard and making your body tremble against him. The fact that you were even more wet and slippery than before because he had already came inside you drove you insane and you snapped, cumming around him and squeezing him again. Hyunjin's eyes rolled back and all he could do was moan your name as he sped up, your hips and pussy burning at the overstimulation and movement before he released inside you, filling you up again.

"Fuck." this time he pulled out of you, watching as his cum oozed out of your pussy. "Wow." he gasped a little, reaching out to touch your folds and you whimpered.

"Are you- are you on the pill?" Hyunjin asked as he retracted his hand and you started laughing when you realized he hadn't even asked before and that you didn't even think about it.

"No, I wasn't sleeping with anyone so I didn't need them." you said and Hyunjin's face went red.

"It's okay." you beckoned him closer with your hand and he crawled to you instanly, laying on top of you and propping himself up with his elbows as he looked at you softly, caressing your head and playing with your hair. "We talked about having kids..."

Hyunjin let out a chuckle before pecking your lips.

"We did but now that you're back I wanted to enjoy you just a little more. Have you all to myself, my little bunny. And I know it might be cliche but I wanted us to get married first." he said and your heart fluttered.

"You never stopped thinking about that?" you asked, caressing his back.

"I couldn't even if I wanted to. Did you?"

"I always thought that if I hadn't left we would've already been married and had at least one baby." you confessed and Hyunjin's body trembled as he pressed himself harder against you.

"There's nothing more I want than to have everything with you, my love." he said, kissing you gently and lovingly.

"Me too." you gasped for air between kisses.

"Are you ready for round three then?" he smirked and you felt his length twitching against your thigh.

"Oh wow." you laughed and Hyunjin chuckled.

"What can I say, I missed you." he kissed your jaw again. "I just wanna be inside you."

"Please Hyunjin." you whimpered, feeling aroused for him easily.

"Don't worry bunny, I got you. All mine tonight." he moaned, pushing into your sore pussy but it felt so good to you. "Gotta make sure it sticks." Hyunjin added with a smirk and you gasped, your eyes rolling back as he filled you up.

You spent almost the entire night in each other's embrace, making love or just cuddling and talking, but both of you felt so insatiable that you just couldn't stop until early morning hours.

"This is about the time I usually wake up." Hyunjin said as he blinked sleepily, rubbing his cheek against your breast as you held him in your arms. You looked out at the dark sky, giggling a little.

"We should get some sleep." you said and Hyunjin whined, squeezing your other breast with his hand.

"I can't... I need to feed the horses... And take Rina out for a walk and..." his voice got more and more quiet before you realized he was fast asleep. A smile spread on your lips as you relaxed and let yourself fall asleep too.

You woke up a few hours later, the sun blazing through the curtains and you groaned, covering your face. Your entire body was sore, last night you had used some muscles that were dormant for years, but the most sore place was between your legs. When you remembered everything you did with Hyunjin last night and how many times he had moaned into your ear about fucking a baby into you, your mind went hazy and you felt that wave of hotness rise inside you.

You noticed you were alone in the bed, tangled in his sheets and the smell of him and you rolled over to his side after noticing another little bouquet of flowers. You smiled to yourself and willed yourself to get up and take a shower even though your legs were in pain too.

By the time you came down, Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen but you found some coffee and toast, deciding to make yourself some breakfast. You sat at the counter and ate while listening to some music. Hyunjin suddenly walked in from the back door.

"Oh bunny! Good morning." he smirked as he came closer to you and you could see the sweat on his body glistening, making you feel aroused instantly at the sight and smell of him.

"Morning." your voice came out breathy as he wrapped his arm around you and kissed you.

"I was just working out back in the shed." he started and Rina ran in barking and jumping at you happily. You chuckled and cooed at her as you started petting her head. "She helped out." Hyunjin added and you giggled.

"I'm sure she did."

"Would you like to go horse riding with me today?" he asked and you let out a laugh.

"I mean, I'd love to but you tired me out last night." you said sheepishly and he cackled, making you smack his arm a few times which made Rina bark.

"Careful, you can't hit me in front of Rina." he had a smug smile on his face and you rolled your eyes, shoving him away playfully. "Come on, we used to go all the time. I missed doing everything with you, doll."

"Fine, but I'm going home first to change and say hello to my grandparents." you pointed your finger at him and he grabbed your wrist, gently kissing your fingertip before he pressed your hand on his chest.

"Come back to me soon, doll."

-

It didn't take long for you to get ready and skip back to Hyunjin's house, especially after missing him for so many years; you felt like you needed to make up for all the lost time. Hyunjin was waiting for you in the stable, preparing the horses for the ride. As soon as you walked in, he smiled at you, waving at you to come closer. Hyunjin gave you the elevator eyes, you were dressed and ready for the activity you were going to share with him this afternoon.

"God, you look so cute my bunny." he put his hands behind his back and leaned in to kiss you, making you giggle against his lips.

"You're cute." you poked his cheek and he chuckled.

"I am?" he gave you a cute face, making his dimples visible as he smiled and his eyes disappeared, turning into little slits. For emphasis he put his palms around his face as if he was presenting his cuteness to you and you could not believe that this was the same man who had you shaking under him last night.

"The cutest." you giggled and he seemed satisfied with the answer, giving you another sweet kiss.

"So, this beauty over here is Aurora." Hyunjin took your hand in his and walked closer to the horse. It let out a snorting sound, making you jolt a little and Hyunjin chuckled.

"Don't tell me you forgot how to ride." he smirked at you with a pointed look and you smacked his arm as he giggled, knowing you would react like that. Your cheeks went red despite last night and despite everything else you shared with him.

"You better be quiet." you threatened him and he wiggled his eyebrows at you.

"You weren't saying that last night."

"Hyunjin. Please. The horses don't need to listen to this." you whispered the last sentence, giving Aurora a few gentle pets.

Hyunjin laughed before nodding. "Alright, well she is yours for today. And I'm taking Midnight." he pointed to a black horse and you nodded, feeling excited because you missed things like this in the city, spending time in nature even though insects frightened you.

The two of you made your way out with your horses, Hyunjin helping you get up on Aurora and then patting your butt affectionately as you sat down. Your cheeks became rosy as he smirked at you and climbed up on Midnight. He looked so hot in that moment that you were already getting worked up despite still being sore.

You made your way towards the fields, the sun shining on you as you rode your horses and enjoyed the fresh air and the breeze. Everything that was bothering you before you came here was left in the dust your horses lifted as they ran, the past was put behind you and you could clearly see the path ahead.

The two of you made it to one of the pretty fields, letting the horses rest as you tied them aside and Hyunjin brought a blanket for the two of you to sit on. Quietly, you enjoyed the beautiful day together as you closed your eyes and let the sun's warmth kiss you while Hyunjin kept his eyes fixed on you.

"I forgot just how peaceful it is here." you sighed before looking at Hyunjin.

"But you spent most of your life here, more than in the city. You know this place like the back of your hand." his head tilted and you shrugged.

"Maybe it didn't take long for me to get used to the city."

"Then it won't be long for you to get used to being back here." he said and bit on his lip. "Come here bunny." he tapped his thigh and you chuckled, your face becoming red. "Come sit in my lap, I need you close to me." Hyunjin added and you shook your head lightly before coming closer to him and sitting in his lap. Your arms wrapped around his neck and his around your waist as he leaned in and kissed you sweetly, before gently swiping his tongue on your lower lip. You parted your lips and he kissed you sensually, like he was trying to explore every part of you and remember your taste forever.

Hyunjin leaned back suddenly and gave you a serious look as he held your hips.

"Y/n, you really are the most important person in my life. You are my best friend and my only lover. And I want you to stay here with me forever and for us to build a life together but only if you want that. I don't want you to feel like I forced you to be here in the village and made you throw away your uni degree and the career you worked so hard for. I need to know that you are absolutely sure you want this, cause I don't want you to resent me one day." Hyunjin exhaled shakily and you smiled, grabbing his face and smushing his cute cheeks.

"You're the most important person in my life too. And even without knowing you still loved me and wanted to be with me I came back here with the plan to stay. There is nothing for me there, that career was a disappointment, almost a waste of time that I could've been spending here with you. Besides, I am still young and there is time to change careers. This is my decision to stay here and if I have you too, then that's just added happiness. I would never resent you Hyunjin, because I want to build a life with you too, I want us to grow old together like my grandparents. I always imagined us like that."

"Oh bunny, you have no idea how happy that makes me." Hyunjin gave you the sweetest smile before crashing his lips against yours. The kiss was passionate and full of love, all bursting around the two of you. He kissed your neck before flipping you over and you gasped under him.

"Beloved, it's the middle of the day, other people come here. A-and the horses are right there." you nodded towards the animals who seemed interested only in the grass.

"Doll, let me just have a taste of you, please?" Hyunjin rubbed your hips, giving you the cutest pout and puppy eyes and you were weak for him. It never took too long for you to lose your panties around him which was what happened as soon as you said yes. He took off your pants and underwear, immediately diving in between your legs as he held them open, gripping at your thighs.

"My sweet bunny." Hyunjin kissed and nipped on your thighs, leaving bite marks in his wake all the way up to your core.

"Mm." he moaned the moment his plump lips touched your folds. "Baby." he whined and flatened his tongue against you, giving you a few languid licks, enjoying the taste of you before the tip of his tongue started flicking your clit. You whimpered quietly as your legs trembled, still aware that you were outside and anyone could see you.

Hyunjin however, didn't care. He was moaning into your pussy desperately as soon as he pushed his tongue in, eating you out like you were the sweetest treat ever. His nose brushed against your clit perfectly as he moved and you were still so sensitive from last night so it didn't take long for you to release your essence all over his lips and tongue as you gripped onto the blanket.

"Bunny, you taste so sweet." he whined, licking around his lips. You looked around, chuckling and quickly pulling your pants up, cringing a little at the wetness.

"Let me make you feel good too, Jinnie." you were now closer to him, your hands on his thighs.

"You don't have to do it right now, we can go back to my house and-"

"Hyune... You can't ride back with this." you smirked, cupping his bulge through his pants and he whined instanly, lifting up into your hand and grinding against it.

"Yeah, you're right." Hyunjin moaned as you kissed his jaw and neck while working to unbutton his pants and slide them down with his boxers, at least enough to pull his cock out. You moaned at the sight of him and you were so eager to have him in your mouth again after not tasting him for so long. You leaned down, gathering spit before you spit on his cock and made him gasp, lifting his hips up to you again. You gave him a few pumps as you smirked at him and Hyunjin was already falling apart. He was equally as weak for you as you were for him.

You swirled your tongue around his head, dipping it into his slit and he shook against you, his hips lifting up and his hand tangling in your hair.

"More, please more bunny." he begged desperately and you moaned around him as you slid down, taking more of his length in.

"Just like that baby, keep going." he encouraged you as you tried to relax your throat and breathe through your nose. Hyunjin whimpered when you gripped the base of his cock, bobbing your head up and down. He gripped your hair, his moans becoming high pitched so you looked up and almost came in your panties at the sight. He was completely lost in the pleasure you were giving him, his head thrown back, his neck on full display with his Adam's apple bobbing up and down every time he gulped and his veins visible. Your eyes fluttered as you moaned around him and fondled his balls with your other hand, making his hips jerk up into you which made you gag a little.

"Fuck. Taking me so well, bunny." he growled, fucking up into you slowly as he gripped your hair harder. "G-gonna cum."

"Mm." you moaned, massaging his balls and sucking him like your life depended on it as he kept fucking up into you.

"Ah! Love seeing those pretty lips around me!" Hyunjin whined loudly, snapping his hips a little harder against you before you felt him twitch and release inside you. You swallowed every last drop he gave you, overstimulating him until he was almost pushing you away.

"Fuck, bunny. You're gonna be the death of me." he said as you lifted up and wiped your lips.

"That good, hm?" you teased him with a smirk and he smirked back at you as he got dressed.

"Well, you seem to love my cum so I'm just giving you what you love, you know, thinking of your happiness." he teased and you smacked his arm, making him laugh because he loved provoking you.

"Shut up." you muttered in embarrassment and he giggled before pouting at you and coming closer to you. He gently took your chin in his hand and made you look at him.

"I love you." he said.

"I love you too." you smiled and kissed him, tasting your essence on his tongue.

"Wanna ride a little more then go back to my house?" he asked and you nodded eagerly.

"I'd love to."

-

Currently, you were sitting in Hyunjin's very big bath, waiting for him to join you as you soaped up your arms with the bubbles, playing around with them.

"Here I am!" he ran in, quickly closing the door behind him. "Had to feed Rina plus she felt neglected and deprived of my love." he added, stripping his clothes and throwing them in the hamper haphazardly.

"You trying to make me feel guilty?" you asked, blowing a bubble at him and he giggled.

"No doll, you know you're always my number one." he smirked, throwing his underwear aside and you looked away in embarrassment.

He chuckled at you and got in, sitting between your legs and you squealed as he made the water splash around you.

"Will you help me wash my back?" he looked at you sideways with a little pout and you chuckled.

"Of course, beloved." you smiled as you took a clean cloth and made it wet before you started gently washing his back. Hyunjin closed his eyes and let out a long sigh of relaxation. You enjoyed the quiet moment, gently rubbing his skin before gliding over it with your other hand, loving the feeling of his wet and soft skin against yours. You leaned in and kissed his shoulders, your breasts pressing against him and nipples grazing him. Hyunjin let out a shaky breath as you wrapped your arms around him and kept kissing his upper back and the back of his neck, catching the droplets of water with your lips.

"I'm so happy." he said and you smiled against him as he caressed your hands. "I was lonely without you, my bunny. I drowned that in work but in moments like this, when it's quiet, and especially late at night I imagined you next to me, wished you were here. And now you are."

"I'm sorry, Jinnie. I'll never leave you again." you said, brushing your lips against his neck.

"I know." he shivered and then leaned back into you as you held him and caressed his chest and stomach, your hand coming in contact with his cock that was hard again.

"Jinnie." you giggled in delight.

"I can't help it when you're touching me." he whined and you kept giggling as you wrapped your hand around him and gave him a few teasing tugs before you released him completely, making him groan.

"Love, you promised we'd go stargazing tonight." you teased.

"The stars will be there tomorrow." he smirked, turning around in the bath and making the water splash around again.

"So will we." you chuckled, running your finger on his defined jaw.

"Mm." he smirked, eyes already hooded as he leaned in and captured your lips in his. You gave in instantly, craving him as much as he craved you.

"I want to go stargazing." you said when the two of you parted for air and Hyunjin chuckled, shaking his head.

"Whatever my bunny wants. Give me a few moments to try and calm down, hm?" he said, kissing your jaw before he got up, getting out of the bath and making his way to the shower. "Join me." he reached his hand towards you and you grabbed it, getting out of the bath with his help.

The moment you shared in the shower was sweet and gentle as you helped each other wash off, playing around with the water.

"So, you like how I did the house?" Hyunjin asked as you dried off.

"I love it so much. It's artsy but cozy and warm. It still has that vintage vibe, you just made it better." you told him and he blushed, smiling cutely at you.

"I decorated it with the thought of you." he confessed, suddenly looking shy and reminding you of that little boy that almost hid behind his mother the first time he laid eyes on you.

"Hyunjin." your eyes watered instantly and you started crying.

"Bunny, don't cry." Hyunjin wrapped his arms around you, shushing you and pulling you into his chest as he caressed your head.

"I'm sorry." you whimpered and he chuckled at your cute pouty face as he looked down at you.

"Move in with me. There's no need to wait." he kissed your head and you squeezed him tighter.

"Packing tomorrow." you looked up at him with a smile and he chuckled, leaning down to kiss you as he wiped your tears away.

-

It was a beautiful, clear and quiet night, just what you needed for one of your favorite activities. Stargazing was a little ritual you did together even before you started dating, when you were just friends. You'd lay near your tree and look up at the stars wondering what's in store for you and Hyunjin, and he'd be nervously gathering courage to confess to you and kiss you only to back out every time you smiled at him.

After becoming a couple, you'd spend warm evenings loving each other under the blanket of stars, hidden by the grass and flowers around you. You'd look up at the stars then and thank them.

Hyunjin brought a blanket this time like always and you laid next to each other, your bare arms touching.

"Jinnie, can I ask you something?" you turned to look at him.

"Anything." he met your eyes.

"I noticed this when I got here the first day but why did you carve only your name in the tree, under ours?"

His eyes softened before he sat up and looked at the tree.

"For when you come back, so you can add your name and we can make a new start together." he smiled and your eyes watered.

"Jinnie." you whined, sitting up and resting your forehead on his shoulder. "You're too sweet."

"Here." he gave you his pocket knife and motioned at the tree. "You can add your name now."

Hyunjin helped you out and the two of you admired your work, a new carving of your names signifying a new phase of your relationship, where both of you have grown and matured. You turned towars him, grabbing his face and smashing your lips into his as you kissed him passionately. Hyunjin returned the kiss enthusiastically, pulling you in his lap. Your hips started grinding against him instantly and he smirked into the kiss.

"Is my bunny needy for me?" Hyunjin leaned back to look at you, caressing your face and putting your hair behind your ear.

"Mm, always." you moaned quietly as his other hand grabbed at your ass, squeezing and giving you a light smack.

Hyunjin chuckled at the state of you, already unraveling and he hasn't even done anything. You bit on your lip and gripped his shoulders as you started dragging your core against his. Hyunjin's head fell back as he gripped your hips and helped you move against him, pressing you down and making you feel his growing bulge.

"What you do to me, doll." he almost growled, gripping you harder and moving his hips up into yours.

"Hyunjin." you moaned his name, your hands sliding down his chest to his abs and then to the button on his jeans as you worked to open it. He smirked into the kiss again, letting you struggle for a moment before he leaned away from your lips and helped you take off his pants. His hands slid under your dress, up until he touched your panties.

"So wet, my bunny." he looked at you lustfully, his lips parting as he touched you clit and played with it, sliding his fingers down to your folds and feeling the wetness even through the fabric.

"I need you." you whined and he chuckled.

"I need you too, bunny." he whispered and you stood up to slide your panties off as Hyunjin watched you with hazy eyes. He slid his pants and underwear down, pulling you down into his lap again. Your wet pussy pressed against his hard cock and both of you moaned as you grinded on him, getting him wet with your juices.

"Ah, doll!" Hyunjin whined, pushing his hips up into you and you lifted just a little to grab his cock and push it inside you. He groaned as you sat down on him slowly, feeling every inch of him stretching your still sore pussy.

"You okay, bunny?" Hyunjin wrapped his arms around your waist as you let out a hiss.

"Y-yes, perfect." you whimpered, gripping at his shoulders as you started circling your hips on top of him. "Oh my god." you groaned, feeling his tip brushing against something delicious deep inside you.

"Good, baby?" Hyunjin smirked, holding your hips but you knew he was close to losing control.

"Mm yes." you shut your eyes tightly as you started to bounce on him slowly and Hyunjin let out a loud moan.

"Ah, bunny! You feel so good. So perfect for me. I wanna stay inside you forever."

You clenched hard at his words, fucking on his length faster, your hips slapping against his. Hyunjin's hand gripped your dress and pushed it up before he grabbed your ass, giving it a few smacks and making you whimper and squeeze around his cock again.

"Please, Hyune, I need more, please!" you whimpered, fucking on him as hard as you could even though your thighs started burning. Hyunjin looked at you, your flushed face and your tits bouncing with your movement, his cock disappearing completely inside you. You were driving him insane.

"You want some help bunny?" he asked, gripping your hips.

"Yes, please!" you whined and Hyunjin smirked before he started snapping his hips up into you.

Both of you were a desperate mess of moans and curses, fucking into each other as if you hadn't been together all night yesterday.

"Gonna get you pregnant, my bunny. Want you to be mine forever." Hyunjin growled as you fell apart on top of him, exploding all over his cock.

"Please, Hyune, want to have your baby." you mumbled, your entire body shaking on top of him and Hyunjin growled, his eyes rolling back as he came, ropes of warm cum filling you up, your pussy milking him dry.

You held each other for a moment, trying to gather your senses as you breathed hard. Hyunjin leaned back and gave you a cute smile.

"I mean it, you know. I really want a little one running around our house. A baby that we made out of love." Hyunjin said, holding your face in his palms.

"Me too, I want it so much." your voice was shaky as you leaned in and kissed him, not missing the detail where he called his house yours.

"After last night and today it would be a surprise if you weren't already pregnant." he smiled, brushing his lips against yours.

You chuckled as your face burned. "I hope so."

Hyunjin smiled, kissing you until you became breathless. The two of you cleaned up and got dressed, lying down in each other's arms so you could actually do what you came to do here - watch the stars.

Once again, you thanked them for leading you back to your Hyunjin.

Six months later

You were drinking your morning tea, staring out the window as your free hand landed on your tummy and you let out a sigh of happiness. Hyunjin came from upstairs, all fresh from a shower and noticed you smiling to yourself, the sun illuminating your features.

"How are my girls?" Hyunjin asked as he wrapped his arms around you, his hands on your baby bump, caressing you gently as he kissed you neck and inhaled your sweet scent.

"Good actually. The tea is helping with nausea." you turned your head a little to look at his face and his eyes were filled with so much love and happiness that it made you shiver, your heart fluttering.

"What?" you chuckled as he kept looking at you with a big smile on his face.

"Have I told you how breathtaking you are, my doll?" he exhaled, nuzzling into you.

"Only every day." you giggled.

"And I will continue doing so for the rest of my life." Hyunjin kissed your cheek and you turned in his arms to give him a proper kiss, enjoying the feeling of his plump lips against yours. Your hands flew to his hair that was now black and growing out and you ran your fingers through the soft tufts.

"I have something for you." he said when the two of you broke apart.

"What is it?" you tilted your head and Hyunjin rounded the couch where Rina was cuddled up, making her raise her head and look at him. He stood in front of the stereo and pressed a few buttons before the familiar melody of Photograph started playing.

"Hyun..." your eyes watered and he skipped towards you, reaching his hand to you. You grabbed it and he pulled you into him, dancing with you, softly swaying you side to side.

"This has always been our song. The one we danced to at prom too. And now we can have our first dance at our wedding to this song as well."

"H-Hyunjin." your lips trembled as happy tears spilled from your eyes.

"I wanted to wait for a perfect moment, have this elaborate dinner and speech but I think this is the perfect moment. You and me in our house with our baby on the way and Rina with us. So I have something to ask you, bunny." Hyunjin got on one knee in front of you, taking out a little box from the pocket of his sweats and opening it up to reveal a beatiful ring.

You gasped, your heart beating fast as more tears spilled from your eyes. You knew he was going to propose to you but nothing prepared you for the tornado of feelings that were swirling inside you.

"Y/n, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"

"Yes!" you yelled almost before he ended the sentence and he chuckled happily, sliding the ring on your finger.

"I love you so much, Jinnie." you cried as he stood up and wrapped his arms around you.

"I love you more than anything, my little bunny." he kissed you, the tears of happiness sliding down his cheeks too.

"I promised you forever, didn't I?"

And there was no other way you wanted to spend forever than to be by Hyunjin's side.

No sooner have you taken a seat and crossed your legs than the glass door behind the receptionist’s counter opens. Out steps a tall, thin man dressed head to toe in white. Thin, white short-sleeved shirt, loose-fitting white cotton pants, shiny white designer shoes. His blond hair is buzzed short. His ears are decorated with multiple golden piercings. His eyes are a deep brown, and there is a distinctly feline quality to his gaze. 

He’s beautiful. 

Of course Minho booked you a massage with the most beautiful masseur ever.

The man smiles brightly and says your name as a question. His voice is soft and rather pleasant. A lovely voice to match a handsome face. Of course. 

You stand and manage to smile back. “That’s me. Hi.” 

He extends his hand and you shake it. His skin is warm. Soft, too. 

“Hi, I’m Hyunjin, nice to meet you. Please, come on back.” 

He holds the door open and ushers you ahead of him. His hand grazes the center of your back, and your heart flutters for some reason.

“We’ll be in the last room on the right,” he says. 

You walk down the short hallway and turn through the last door on the right with Hyunjin right behind you. 

In your mind, you pictured a sterile white room. Instead, the walls are painted a beautiful shade of green with paintings of flowers and landscapes displayed upon them. There is a long counter along one wall with a round porcelain sink in the middle. Near the sink are a multitude of candles and small bottles and vials. Rolled towels are stuffed in the shelves beneath the counter. In the center of the room is the massage table, longer than it is wide. A white sheet is fitted on top of it. The smell of powder and fresh linen is stronger back here.

Hyunjin steps around you, and you catch the scent of him when the air moves. He smells of something rich and slightly sweet, like dark chocolate. He pulls a fluffy white towel out from under the counter and sets it on the edge of the massage table. Then he looks to you and smiles again. The groove of a dimple appears in his cheek. 

“I’m going to step out for a few minutes,” he says. “I want you to undress entirely, please. Bra, underwear, everything. We don’t want to stain any of your clothing with the oils. Then I want you to lie face down on the table with the towel over you like it’s a blanket, please.” 

You nod along to his instructions. When he is finished, you say, “Okay. Thank you.” 

“Of course. I’ll be right back.”

He leaves and gently shuts the door behind him. 

You undress and pile your clothing on a nearby chair, sliding your shoes underneath it. Then you pick up the towel and shake it open before climbing onto the padded massage table and lying face down under your makeshift blanket. 

It takes several minutes, but eventually there is a knock on the door. Hyunjin calls your name and asks, “Are you decent?” 

“Yes. Come in,” you say, turning your head to see him enter.

He steps inside and closes the door again. You lock eyes for a second, then he moves to the counter. Music begins playing. A slow, relaxing piano melody. You hadn’t even noticed the speaker there. He also lifts one of the candles, but before he lights it, he turns back to you and asks, “Is it all right if I dim the overhead lights and light a few of the candles? They’re not scented.” 

“Oh,” you say. “Uh, sure.” 

He gives you a crooked grin. He really is incredibly beautiful. “It’s all right to say no,” he says. 

“No, no. That sounds fine. Just seems kind of… I don’t know. Intimate, I guess. I wasn’t expecting that.” 

Hyunjin’s face changes. His grin falls and his eyebrows dip in what appears to be confusion. “Is that not what you requested? When you made the appointment, I mean?” he asks. 

You fidget with the sheet, plucking at an imaginary loose thread. “I didn’t set it up myself, actually,” you explain. “My friend did. As a gift.”

Hyunjin’s shoulders drop. It seems like realization is hitting him.

“Ah,” he says, turning all the way from the counter to face you fully. “I’m sorry, this is my fault. I should have confirmed everything with you before I left the room.”

He steps over to a screen the size of an iPad mounted face-high on the wall by the door. He pulls something up on it and nods to himself. Then he looks back to you and explains, “Your friend booked you with me for the full deluxe package. That’s a two hour session which includes establishing relaxing ambiance—the candles, lighting, music, et cetera—the massage of course, use of any and as many essential oils as you wish, and a… a happy ending, if you’re familiar with the term.”

You nearly choke on the spit in your mouth. “O-Oh! Oh my god,” you stammer. “You mean…?”

“An orgasm, yes,” Hyunjin says. “To be clear. Which I should be and should have been from the start.”

Oh, you are going to fucking kill Minho when you see him. No wonder he had been so excited to give you this gift. He does like giving you things you would never buy for yourself, and this definitely fits into that category. Plus, the main reason he did this for you in the first place is because of the recent breakup you’ve gone through. ‘It’ll take your mind off it for a while.’ ‘You deserve to treat yourself.’

Full deluxe package, huh. That twisted fuck.

“No, you’re fine,” you tell Hyunjin, “it’s my friend who should have been clear from the start. Fucking prick.”

Hyunjin chuckles a little. “If you want to cancel, I totally understand. I’ll refund your friend.”

You chew on your lip in thought for a moment then ask, “You really offer that here?”

“Refunds?” 

You laugh, loudly and genuinely. “No. You know what I mean.” 

Hyunjin laughs too. “Yes, I get paid to massage people then make them come. Though not as many people book for that as you might think. You’d think they’d at least be curious, but I think they assume it’s a terrible joke. Anyway, I know this was a lot to spring on you. It’s all right to change your mind and decline. That goes for anything that happens in here this morning.” 

You think for another moment. Another question comes to mind. “What if I had a partner?” you ask. “You wouldn’t offer this in that case, would you?” 

Hyunjin consults the screen on the wall again, scrolling with the tip of his finger. He points to something and replies, “Your appointment form says you’re single, unless your friend lied about that.”

“No,” you say, shaking your head. “No, that’s correct. I was just curious.” 

“Everything that happens here is private and confidential,” Hyunjin says, sort of dodging your original question at first, but then he adds, “but no. I wouldn’t offer this service to people in relationships. Unless they’ve lied on their appointment form, of course.” 

“Huh. Well I guess that’s on them and not you then.” 

Hyunjin gives a tight smile. “What other questions or concerns do you have?” he asks. He sounds patient and genuinely curious. You get the impression he is good at this. At his job. 

“What if I was on my period?” you ask.

“We have tampons. Or if you wanted to put your underwear back on and wear a pad, we’d have to get you cleaned of all the oil first. I would also lay an extra towel beneath you.” 

“So… you’d still do it?” 

Hyunjin flashes an easier smile. “I would use gloves for sanitary purposes, but yes, I would. Are you on your period? Do I need to step out again or get you anything? Or would you prefer to reschedule?” 

“No, no. I’m not. Just curious again.” 

“These are good questions.” Again, he sounds genuine and kind.

Are you really willing to let this beautiful stranger give you an orgasm though? It wouldn’t be the first time, but this isn’t exactly a dating app hookup or picking someone up at the bar. 

Still, if this is what his job entails and it is a totally normal occurrence for him, why not go along with it? What would it hurt? 

You shake your head again. “I can’t think of anything else,” you say slowly. “And I… I’ll go with everything that was booked.” 

“You sure? No hard feelings if you want to omit some things or reschedule or completely cancel. I promise.” 

You swallow and nod. “I’m sure.”

Hyunjin flashes a brighter smile, bringing back the dimple in his cheek. You entertain the idea that he might actually be relieved by your answer, but surely that is not the case. This is work to him, and this is still a customer service type of job.

“All right. So, would you like me to dim the lights and light some candles?” he asks, easily picking up right where he left off.

“Sure. That would be nice.”

He does so quickly, lighting and placing the candles in various places around the room before dimming the overhead lights. You can still see him well enough to watch him move back to the counter and wash his hands at the sink. The faint light catches on the jewelry in his ears. After he dries his hands, he starts examining the bottles. He does not look at you when he speaks again.

“So, you’re booked for a full body massage. No pun intended,” he says, making you laugh. “But are there any specific areas you want me to focus on? And yes, you’re allowed to say something like your breasts or your glutes or your pelvis.” 

Heat rises in your face. “No. Nowhere in particular,” you answer. 

Hyunjin nods to himself and lifts a couple bottles. “Your form said no known allergies to any oils or lotions or skincare products in general. Is that correct?” 

You sigh. “Yeah, that’s correct. Minho might be a prick but he knows me well.”

Hyunjin laughs again. You like that sound. 

“All right, what about scent preferences? Dislikes?” 

“Uh… what do you recommend? What’s your favorite?” 

He looks at you. “Oh. Well, I like green tea and eucalyptus the most. Lavender is nice too, if you want to relax to the point of falling asleep, which a lot of people do. We also have rose oil, coconut, ginger, frankincense…” 

“The green tea one sounds nice,” you decide. 

“Good choice.”

Hyunjin sets both the bottles in his hands down and lifts another. He opens it and pours a healthy amount into his palm. 

“These are all safe for even the most intimate areas,” he says, rubbing his hands together to warm and spread the oil, “but let me know if you feel any burning or unpleasantness at any time, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“Ready?” 

“Ready.” 

He touches your arm that is closest to him. You automatically lift it because you think that will make his work easier, but he gently pushes it back down and says, “Just relax, please. No need to lift a finger. I’ll do all the work.”

Something in the way he says that has heat rushing south between your legs. How are you supposed to relax when you know what is waiting for you at the end? Maybe it would help if you didn’t stare at the handsome man touching your body the entire time, so you turn your face to fit it into the cutout in the table and mumble an apology to the floor. 

“Don’t be sorry,” Hyunjin says, gliding a firm hand up your arm, coating it in the fragrant, pleasantly tingly oil. He starts making conversation by asking, “So what made your friend book this appointment for you? Work stress? Just for fun?” 

It would be easy to answer with one of those choices, but he has been so kind, so you feel compelled to tell him the truth. 

“I went through a… sort of a nasty breakup a few months ago. I’m getting over it, but I was pretty down about it for a while.” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. And I’m sorry to bring it up.”

Hyunjin kneads downward from your bicep to your wrist, then slots his fingers between yours to hold your hand and roll your wrist in a gentle circle. Somehow, that gesture feels every bit as intimate as if he was already touching between your legs. 

“You’re fine,” you say. 

He lets go of your hand and goes back to your bicep, repeating his earlier motions until he reaches your hand again. He rubs at your fingers, either intentionally or unintentionally popping a few of your knuckles in the process. 

“We don’t have to talk at all, by the way,” Hyunjin says. “You can tell me to be quiet.” 

You smile at the floor. “No, I… I like conversation. Better than sitting here in silence, I think.”

“Well, your emotional and mental comfort are as important to me as your physical comfort,” he says. His hand moves to your upper back between your shoulders, skirting along the edge of the towel. “Is it all right if I pull the towel down a bit? Just to the middle of your back for now.” 

“Yeah, of course. Whatever you need.” 

He folds the towel back just as he said. The air is a little cool on your bare skin, but his warm hands are there to soothe that problem in no time. The oil feels pleasant as he smears it along your skin. The scent of green tea envelopes but does not overwhelm you. The song changes in the background to a different piano melody. 

Hyunjin hums in thought as he prods your shoulders with his fingertips. “You have quite a bit of tension up here,” he says. “Do you sit at a desk all day for work?”

You nod against the table. “Yeah, actually. And I’ve been told my posture isn’t great.”

He chuckles. “I wasn’t going to lecture you or anything, I swear. I was just curious myself.”

A couple quiet minutes go by as he works the knots in your shoulders. You’re the one to speak up and carry on the conversation this time.

“So how did you get into this job?”

“Oh, a friend of a friend thought I’d be good at it. It sounded fun. I thought it would just be a temporary thing but then I was actually going to school for it, and then I was doing hundreds of hours of training and getting my whole license, so I guess this is my career now. I like it though. It’s interesting, you know. Unconventional. Can’t imagine doing something like sitting at a desk all day.”

You both laugh again. You did not realize your legs were tense, but you feel them relax as you sink just a little deeper into the cushioned table. 

“I feel like it could make relationships awkward though,” you say, then immediately wish you hadn’t. That was probably too personal. 

Hyunjin hums but does not pause his work for a second. He pushes his thumbs up and down along the upper part of your spine and says, “I went through a rough breakup a while ago myself because of my career. I told her it was just work and there are other jobs out there that involve touching people’s genitals, but that was a mistake. I mean, I know it’s not the same. There’s definitely a difference between what I do and what a cerologist does. I get that.” 

“A cerologist?” 

“Sorry. A wax specialist.” 

“Ah. Right.”

He sighs heavily. “Anyway, I’ve been hesitant to get seriously involved with anyone since then.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” you say, shifting your weight a little. “It is just a job though.”

“Easy for someone who’s not my girlfriend to say,” Hyunjin jokes. The laughter in the room is more awkward this time. “Sorry,” he says after. “That was weird. I’m sorry.”

It takes more strength than it should, but you turn your face to look at him. He meets your eyes. The candlelight behind him gives his form a glowing outline. Coupled with his white clothing and golden hair, he looks positively radiant.

“It’s all right,” you say. “For whatever it’s worth, I think you’re really good at your job, Hyunjin.”

There are dimples in both his cheeks when he smiles this time. “Thank you. That’s kind of you.”

You shrug. “It’s true.”

He holds eye contact with you for a few seconds longer before looking away. He inhales deeply and clears his throat. “Is it all right if I lower the towel again? Down to your lower back this time?”

“Trying to see my tattoo?” you tease.

He lets out that warm laugh. “If you have a tattoo anywhere on your body, I’ll probably see it, don’t worry. May I, though?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

He folds the towel further and sees nothing but naked skin. He laughs under his breath and turns back to the counter to pour more oil into his hands. It squelches when he rubs his hands together.

You wonder how much time has gone by already. He still has your lower back, your legs, then your entire front to do, you assume. And that’s before you even get to the grand finale.

When his hands smooth their way across the small of your back, your thoughts dissipate. Your breathing slows after a while, until a particularly good press of his fingers on your lower spine elicits a moan from you.

“Sorry, I—” you start, then promptly shut your mouth. You should not have acknowledged the sound at all. That made it a hundred times weirder.

“No, don’t be sorry,” Hyunjin says again. “That’s a good thing. It lets me know it feels good, which is important, obviously. And the walls are soundproof, so don’t worry about that.”

You let out a tiny breath of laughter. “It feels really good,” you say honestly.

“The pressure is okay then?”

“You could go a little, uh, harder, actually.”

“No problem.”

He starts using the heels of his palms to rub outward from your spine to your sides, all the way from your lower back up to your shoulder blades. The oil is very slick, but his hands never slip or fumble in their movements. He does this over and over, moving up and down from the center outward. Another quiet moan comes straight from your throat.

“That’s it,” Hyunjin whispers. His voice is so soft you’re not even sure if he meant for you to hear that or not. A crazy part of you wonders if he ever gets hard during these sessions, but you’re definitely not saying that out loud.

After a while of Hyunjin maintaining a steady rhythm, you start to feel boneless, especially when he steps around the table to give your other side the same attention. He is probably running on auto-pilot mode by now, but your heart skips a few beats when he does the same hand-holding move on your other hand. If he notices the change in your breathing, he does not comment on it.

Eventually, Hyunjin says, “I’m going to move on to your legs now, if that’s all right.”

You hum in understanding. Your throat feels a little dry. Hyunjin carefully peels the towel off your legs and folds it upward. Only your butt remains covered at this point. 

His touch feels softer when he lays his hands on the back of the thigh closest to him. For a second, it feels like his thumbs swipe back and forth with no real intention behind the movement, but then his hands glide all the way down to your ankles with the same pressure he was using on your back. 

“Is the pressure still okay?” he asks. 

“Y-Yeah.” You swallow through the scratchiness in your throat. “Yeah, it’s good.” 

“Good.” 

He squeezes down your leg repeatedly, as if he is trying to push all the tension downward and out through your foot. He keeps you in that boneless state, expertly working your muscles. After a while, you stop feeling embarrassed about your soft moans.

“Are your feet ticklish, or may I move on to those?” he asks. It feels like you have been floating, so it takes you a moment to register his words.

“I mean, they’ve never been especially ticklish?” you say. “Have at it.”

Hyunjin tickles his fingertips against the sole of your foot and laughs with you when you jerk it away. You turn your head to look at him. There is a mischievous glint in his eyes. Or maybe it’s the candlelight.

“Sorry. Couldn’t help myself,” he says. Could he possibly be flirting with you?

You swallow again and say, “You better watch it, mister.”

His eyes glimmer when he nods. “I’ll behave, I promise. Permission to continue the professional way?”

“Granted,” you say, giving him a smile before turning your face back into the cutout.

He takes your foot in a firmer touch so as not to tickle you again, even accidentally. For some reason, this part of the massage feels the best yet. His fingers really know the exact ways to release the tension in your body. You knew he was good at his job.

He steps around the table again and switches to your other leg and foot. It seems like he is focusing longer on your inner thigh this time around. Your toes curl at the thought of his fingers moving just a little higher. Of course he notices. 

“I know,” he says quietly. “Relax.” 

Hyunjin’s touch lingers on your skin after he finishes with your other foot. 

“Would you like me to do your glutes before we move on to your front?” he asks. His voice is not only low but also deeper now. 

“Sure,” you say, your voice hardly more than a breath.

It takes a second before the towel lifts from your butt. Hyunjin sets it down on the back of your calves, out of his way. It takes another second before you feel his touch. He starts with your hips rather than going straight for your butt cheeks. He kneads them gently. It takes all your willpower to stay relaxed.

His thumbs eventually inch their way onto your butt while the rest of his fingers remain splayed over your hips. He presses his thumbs firmly up and outward over your cheeks. Soon he goes from using only his thumbs to using his entire hands. He easily draws more moans from you this way.

What you don’t expect to do is curse under your breath. A tiny but still audible: “Fuck.”

Hyunjin exhales hard. On one upward stroke, you could swear he gropes your flesh more than presses it, and you find you don’t mind that at all. You were wrong — this part feels the best so far.

You would have been more than happy for him to continue this part for hours, but you are reminded of the limited timeframe when he stops his movements.

He lifts the towel off your legs, but one of his hands is still resting on the small of your back when he asks, “Ready to flip over for me?” 

As if you aren’t putty in his hands to mold as he pleases. 

You start to turn over but you are still floating and boneless and your arms give out. Luckily your fall is all of an inch and does not hurt at all, but you are embarrassed by the fumble nonetheless. 

Hyunjin curls an arm behind your back and says, “Here, lean against me. I’ll turn you over.”

“Sorry,” you say as you do as he asks. He is stronger than you expected him to be. He eases your body back into the center of the table like it’s nothing. The towel settles over you again from your collarbone to your toes. You pull your arms out from under it. 

Hyunjin keeps his eyes on yours when you settle on your back. “Don’t be,” he says once again. He smiles that beautiful, dimpled smile. His fingers trail down your arm. “Still feeling good?” he asks. 

You nod silently. 

“Good. May I massage your chest?” 

Only when he asks do you become aware of your hard nipples standing against the soft towel. 

“Yes,” you say.

His eyes drop to your covered breasts. He peels the towel down, folding it down to your belly button. Then he turns to grab the bottle of oil again. He only adds a little more this time. He purses his lips as he reaches for your chest. 

He starts just below your breasts and moves upward, cupping them gently—briefly—before pushing up further. The tips of his thumbs barely graze your nipples, but it’s enough to send a pulse of desire between your legs. 

You hiss and bite your lip. You might have gotten comfortable with your moans, but now he can see your every facial expression, so it feels embarrassing again. 

His hands lift away from your body and his eyes flick to your face in concern. “Did that hurt?” he asks.

“No, uh. The opposite actually.”

“Oh. Phew.” His face relaxes. “Do tell me if it does hurt though. I know this area can be very… tender.”

You nod and take a deep breath, exhaling it slowly.

“That’s it,” Hyunjin says gently. “Breathe. Relax. Enjoy my touch.”

You close your eyes. You don’t think you want to risk eye contact with him while he is doing this.

His hands return to your chest. He gently pushes your breasts up, then smooths over your collarbone, again and again. This part feels the most like fondling so far, but as he said, this can be a tender area, so he can’t exactly be as firm as with your back or your legs.

You sigh when his fingers ghost across your nipples again, lips parting ever so slightly. Hyunjin makes a soft noise as well. You crack an eyelid to look at him. He is focused on your chest with his eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed again in concentration. He looks so handsome you can’t help but blink your eyes open the rest of the way. 

He smooths his face over and smiles when he notices you watching him. 

“How am I doing?” he asks. “Still feeling good?” 

“You’re really good at this,” you say. You sound somewhat breathless, which surprises you because you haven’t even done anything to get that way. 

“Thank you. May I move the towel down a bit?” 

“Sure.”

He tugs it down below your belly button, still leaving your legs and crotch covered. 

“Is your stomach ticklish at all?” he asks. 

“No, not really.” 

He does not pull the same flirty stunt with your stomach as he did with your feet. He simply goes straight back to work, running his hands gently down your sides and across your stomach. It feels more like rubbing than pushing or pressing, probably because of all your organs just below. 

His fingers frequently brush the edge of the towel when they move downward. Sometimes they dip right below the towel and skim just above your pelvis, briefly at first, then lingering for longer and longer.

Your heart kicks up when you realize what is next. Is it that time already? 

Hyunjin notices the change in your breathing. You lock eyes with him again. 

“We don’t have to,” he says quietly. His lips hardly move. His eyes are molten chocolate. 

He stops dipping his fingertips beneath the towel. It surprises you how much you wish he would continue. You think you’ll go crazy if he doesn’t continue. You have to be honest with him. 

“I want to,” you say.

You expect him to move the towel away—or ask to move it away, as he’s been doing—but he merely pushes beneath it again, this time with his whole hand. The hand not beneath the towel curls gently around your shoulder at first, then behind your neck, as if he needs to hold you steady.

“Is this all right?” Hyunjin asks. He has not broken eye contact with you.

You are not sure if he is asking about the hand holding your neck or the one teasing along your inner thigh, but you are enjoying both of them, so you nod and say, “Yes.”

“It will never be too late to change your mind and tell me to stop, okay?” he says. His hand rubs against the crease where your crotch meets your leg. He holds you there too.

You nod again, not trusting yourself to speak clearly with words instead of moans.

“Try to relax,” he says. “Don’t undo all my hard work now.” 

You giggle at his joke. He smiles down at you. His eyes still have not left yours. 

“And tell me if the oil irritates you at all,” he reminds you. 

With that, he cups your pussy whole. You both make a noise at the sensation. You can tell you were wet, even before the oil. He must feel it too, along with the heat of you radiating into his palm. You think you hear him swear under his breath, but he clears his throat immediately after and finally looks away from your face. 

Hyunjin separates his fingers and drags them down each side of your slit, avoiding your clit and your hole. Your eyelashes flutter closed. Your legs twitch and one of your hands briefly balls into a fist on the table before you relax it again. You take a deep breath and exhale slowly through your mouth. Hyunjin lightly squeezes your neck.

“Very good,” he murmurs. His fingers slowly drag up the edges of your pussy, back down again. “Breathe. Relax. Let me do all the work.” 

You lick your lips and keep your eyes closed, enjoying the steady rhythm he builds of gently rubbing you up and down, spreading the oil—and surely your own wetness—over your sensitive skin. 

You nearly manage to relax again when the tip of his middle finger brushes the hood of your clit. Electricity forks throughout your entire body. Your eyelids scrunch tighter and your hips twitch against the table. Hyunjin does not say anything; he simply strums that fingertip over your clit every time his hand passes back and forth. His hand continues sweeping up and down a few more times before he rests it in place and uses that wicked fingertip to draw circles into your hardened clit. 

“How’s the pressure?” he asks. His voice is low and deep again.

You let out a whimper before you can speak. “Good. S-So good, ah—” 

“Should I go faster? Slower?” 

“F-Faster, please.” 

He does so immediately. Your hips buck an inch off the table at the rush of pleasure from the change of pace. Hyunjin chuckles under his breath, but again, he does not comment on your obvious lack of relaxation. 

He does say your name, however, in that low, deep voice. “I want to make you feel so good,” he says.

You’re not sure if he says those words in that tone to all his clients, but you can’t follow that train of thought right now. A fresh wave of arousal takes you, shuddering through all the muscles he just massaged. The area beneath your backside feels wetter than before with the combination of oil and arousal beginning to pool there. 

“Hyunjin,” you moan before you can stop yourself. 

His breath catches in his throat. You look at him again and see his eyelids are heavy over his deep brown eyes. That glowing halo of candlelight is surrounding him again.

“Fuck,” he says, not loudly, but clearly this time. He bites his lip and skims his gaze down the length of your body before meeting your eyes again. “I swear I never say this to clients, but you are so fucking beautiful.” 

You whimper again when his fingertip edges beneath the hood of your clit. When he shifts his weight, you notice the considerable tent in the front of his thin pants. You moan just from the sight of it. He notices that you have noticed his problem, but he does not remove either of his hands from your body to deal with it. Again, you wonder if this always happens, even if he does not call every client beautiful. 

“Can I take the towel off you? Please?” he asks in a pleading tone.

You pull it off yourself and let it drop to the floor. Hyunjin immediately looks between your legs at your naked pussy in his hand and lets out a groan from so deep in his throat that you swear you have a tiny orgasm with the next flick of his finger.

He looks back to your face. His sharp cheeks are noticeably flushed. His sharp jawline flexes beneath his flawless skin.

“Tell me if I’m out of line,” he whispers.

You bend your knees and spread them apart, a clear invitation for him to keep going. He gets the message.

“Fuck, I’m going to make you come so hard,” he says. He adds his ring finger to the circles he is drawing on your sticky clit. It feels incredible, but you still feel horribly empty inside.

“Want your fingers in me, please,” you boldly murmur. 

“Yeah? You want them inside you, beautiful?” 

“Well, not just your fingers.” 

You meant to keep that to yourself—you really did—but you must have said it out loud because Hyunjin sucks a breath through his teeth and stops drawing those maddening circles. His cock visibly bounces in his pants. You look up at his face. An almost pained expression crosses his sculpted features. 

“I… can’t, I… I never…” 

“Sorry,” you say, mortified, “forget I said that. I’m so sorry.”

“I want to,” Hyunjin says, quickly and earnestly. “Trust me, I really fucking want to. I just—my license… I can’t…”

You nod over and over. “I totally get it, I’m sorry. Please ignore me.”

The pained expression does not leave Hyunjin’s face. He bites his plump bottom lip again. His eyes drop in a straight line from your eyes to your mouth to your chest to your pussy and back up again. He dips his middle finger into your pussy, only up to his first knuckle. You automatically clench around it, trying to pull it deeper. It works. He slides his finger the rest of the way inside and curls it, drawing another moan from you. He adds his index finger and curls them both, then scissors them like he wants to work you open.

He breathes hard. He gives the back of your neck another tender squeeze then mutters, “Fuck it,” and moves that hand to the strings on the front of his pants to untie them.

Your heart races. You gasp when he pulls his dick out in front of you. The tip is rosy and thick. The wetness gathered at the slit looks delicious; your immediate thought is how badly you want to lick it up.

“This has to stay between us,” Hyunjin whispers, frantically tugging his pants down to his knees with one hand. His erection stands stiff in the open air.

“I know,” you say, propping yourself up on your elbows. “I swear.”

“Come here. Please…”

Hyunjin takes your hands and helps you scoot to the edge of the table in front of him. He stands between your legs and takes the back of your neck again, forehead propped against yours. You breathe hard and stare into his eyes until you notice movement below. You watch him take his cock in hand and guide the head right to your pussy. When he pushes inside, you both gasp over the tight, wet, smooth entry. He shoves his hips forward, easily bottoming out in one stroke. 

You wrap your arms around his shoulders. Hyunjin stares at your face and tries to breathe calmly through his nose, but you are not making it easy for him with the way your warm pussy is repeatedly clenching around his throbbing dick. 

“Tell me when I can—” 

“Please.”

He starts rolling his hips into you. Gently at first, then with more desperation. Your head rocks back and you moan toward the ceiling at the rise of pleasure. He keeps his grip behind your neck, not letting you fall backward. His other hand has a firm hold of your ass cheek, keeping you steady against his frantic thrusts. His dick rubs against almost every sensitive part of you. You shift your hips a little; it’s enough to angle his tip into that perfect spot.

“Oh fuck, right there, right there,” you pant, bringing your head around to press it back to his forehead and look into his eyes again.

Hyunjin moans and holds you tighter, pounding that spot again and again and again.

You notice him staring at your lips, so you tilt your face and lean in. He meets you in a kiss far more gentle than expected for the way the table is creaking beneath you. He ends it too quickly for your liking, studies your face for a second, then he kisses you again, much deeper this time. As soon as you feel his tongue prod against your lips, you part them and let it swarm into your mouth. His tongue tastes of mint and sugar and he moans so prettily into your mouth. He’s perfect.

You voice your pleasure into the tender kisses. “Yes, yes, fuck, Hyunjin, yes—”

Hyunjin pulls away from the kisses with a low groan. He nearly pulls out of your pussy too, to your great dismay. His hips come to a shaky stop with just the tip of his cock left inside you.

“Sorry, I just need a minute,” he says, breathless and smiling sheepishly. “You’re so tight and you sound so hot and it’s… it’s been a while for me.”

“Take your time,” you say. You’re not sure how much time is left in your session, but you won’t complain if he wants to prolong something he shouldn’t be doing in the first place, and you certainly don’t mind being told how tight and hot you are. 

Hyunjin’s fingers massage the back of your neck. He pulls you into another tender kiss. You clutch his shoulders, nails digging into his smooth skin, and feel his cockhead twitch inside you. He begins moving his hips again, but he only fucks you with his fat tip now. You whine and whimper because it isn’t enough. 

“What about my ‘happy ending’?” you tease, pouting against his lips.

Hyunjin laughs and kisses you again, tongue briefly curling against yours, before answering, “I know, don’t worry. I’m still going to make you come so hard, especially now that it’ll be on my dick.” 

He says that but he has the audacity to pull all the way out of you. Before you can protest, he takes your hands again. 

“Here,” he says, tugging your hands. “Let’s turn you around.” 

You slide off the table. He holds your waist in a strong arm to keep your oily feet from slipping on the floor. 

Hyunjin turns you around and bends you over the massage table. He whips off his shirt and follows you, draping his warm body over yours. His wet cock throbs against your ass cheek.

“Is this all right?” 

“It’s good, Hyunjin, please…” 

He takes your hip in one hand and puts himself back inside you with the other. You moan at the stretch, the friction, the raw pleasure. 

“That’s it,” he murmurs. Once he is secure enough inside you, he lets go of himself and runs that hand up the length of your spine. “I want to hear all your moans, pretty girl. Let me know how good it feels.” 

When he bottoms out this time, he does not give you a moment to adjust; he builds up a relentless pace right away. It takes him a second to find the right angle in this position, but he eventually hits that spot inside you again that has you seeing stars. He hits it over and over, keeping you right there on the end of his pounding cock.

“Fuck—yes—Hyunjin, yes!”

“That’s it, baby, fuck, just like that. You’re so fucking hot, oh my god.”

The hand that is not holding you steady at the hip is making its way all over your body, the body he has had his hands on all morning. He holds the back of your neck again for a while, holding you down to take everything he gives you. He wraps it around your front, pawing back and forth between your heaving breasts, giving each of your nipples a few good pinches. He trails it down your stomach to stuff it between your legs where he finds your clit again. He pinches it the way he pinched your nipples, just to hear you squeal. Then he resumes drawing the circles that started this all.

Hyunjin gets you to come in only a few minutes with his talented fingers. He is like a man possessed, a man with something to prove with how quickly he unravels you.

“Hyunjin, fuck, I’m coming, I’m—” you gasp, though he surely feels it for himself.

He groans and folds himself over you, face pressed to your back, writhing and bucking with you through your orgasm. His hips do not stop bouncing against your backside. He keeps grinding his cock deep inside you, slamming his heavy balls against you. His fingers do not stop playing with your sensitive clit.

He eases the pressure of those fingers once the force of your orgasm wanes, but he never stops completely. His cock throbs hard between your silky, sensitive walls, but he manages to withhold his own orgasm.

“There we go—mmm, fuck—yeah, that’s it,” he says, his breath coming out in warm puffs against your slick, sweaty skin. “So fucking good. That’s just the first one, baby.”

You push yourself up onto your palms against the table, elbows wobbling just like your knees in the aftershocks of your intense climax. Hyunjin moves with you, leaning back to stand straight. He moves a hand against your collarbone to pull you into his chest. You turn your head. He is already there, ready to meet you in a kiss that leaves you even dizzier.

He already alluded to more, but now he asks, “Can you do another one for me, or are you satisfied?”

“You didn’t come yet, did you?” you ask in return.

He exhales a breath of laughter. “No. If you come again, I will. I won’t be able to hold out twice. But that’s not what I asked, pretty girl.”

“Then I’m not satisfied yet,” you say, grinning and kissing his smooth, pink cheek. 

Hyunjin chuckles. “All right. Let me turn you back around then. I want to see your face when you come around me this time.” 

He has to pull out again to sit you back on the table, which is tragic, but the sight of his veiny cock glistening in a layer of your juices is worth it. You reach for it, letting the weight of it simply rest in your palm for a second before taking proper hold of it in a loose fist. Hyunjin groans and wraps his hand around yours, guiding it up and down his length. The skin is smooth and velvety soft but stretched tight over his solid length and girth. 

You only give him half a dozen guided strokes before he pries your hand away.

“I bet you’re pretty good with your hands too, huh baby,” he says, caging you in his arms by planting his hands beside you on the table. “I wish we had more time for you to demonstrate.”

You nearly forgot about the time constraint. You nod and spread your legs. Hyunjin grabs you under one of your knees to help hold you open and also tug you closer to him. He takes his cock and smacks the tip against your clit a few times, still taking the time to rile you up just a little more before sinking back inside you.

“God, this pussy,” he grunts. The grip he has under your knee tightens. His other hand returns to your ass, practically yanking you the rest of the way onto his cock. “It wraps around me perfectly.”

He fucks you again, deep and hard. The table starts creaking again. You hold each other close as he works you both to your highs. He has his face in your neck, kissing and licking and nibbling at your skin. You try to do the same, but all his neck receives in return is a babble of breathless nonsense drawn from your lips with every firm thrust.

His fingers slip their way between your legs again, feeling where his cock is moving in and out of your pussy. His thumb presses against your swollen clit and you lose a bit of your mind. He pulls his face out of your neck to look at you again.

“You first, baby, fuck,” Hyunjin pants. His sweet breath tickles your face. “Please come for me again. Let me feel it again. Let me see it this time, hm? Let me hear how good it feels to come all—over—my fucking—dick.”

“Oh fuck, Hyunjin, don’t stop, don’t stop, please,” you say, moaning it over and over again until your orgasm takes you. You go rigid and then boneless in a different way, trembling through the waves of your second climax.

Hyunjin groans triumphantly and watches it all. “That’s it, that’s it. Fuck yes, that’s so good, baby, oh, yes—”

He fucks you through your orgasm as long as he can but his own quickly catches up to him. He pulls out at the last second and frantically jerks his cock. His cum shoots out in long streaks, landing all over the place — your stomach, your thighs, the table, the floor. Part of your lust-addled brain hoped he would lose himself completely and come inside you, but the sensible part of you is relieved he didn’t. 

He squeezes the last few drops out of his tip and lets go of his cock. It hangs heavy between his legs, flushed and spent. Your pussy is in a similar state; aching in the best way, swollen and throbbing after a thorough fucking. You think you can feel your heartbeat in it. 

Hyunjin is as out of breath as you are but he reaches for you and claims your lips in another kiss. When he pulls away, you become aware of just how oily and sticky and sweaty you both are.

“Holy fuck,” you giggle, making him giggle too. 

“Yeah. ‘Holy fuck’ is right.” 

He clears the rasp in his throat but does not say anything else for a little while. He rests his forehead against yours while you both float back down to earth, waiting for your breathing to settle and your heartbeats to calm. One of his thumbs traces mindless circles into your hip. You absently massage the prickly hairs at the nape of his neck.

Finally, Hyunjin takes a deep breath and straightens. He fixes his pants and pulls his shirt back on. You watch him walk to the other side of the table and pick the towel off the floor. He helps get you cleaned up as best he can. You know you will still walk out of here smelling like green tea and sweat and maybe even his cum, which you help wipe off the floor. He tells you not to fuss over the cum stain on the sheet since he will have to strip it and sanitize the table anyway. 

The feeling of his skin on yours lingers even after you have both been wiped and patted and dried off. Hyunjin gently takes your hands and meets your eyes again. 

“I hope I—um—” he starts, then swallows and tries again. “I swear I don’t do that with clients. Ever.” 

“I believe you,” you say. “I won’t say anything. I promise.”

“I hope I didn’t mess anything up,” he goes on, “because it kind of felt like there was something between us, even before the sex. Unless I’m mistaken?” 

Your heart flutters. “No, I… I agree,” you say, the hint of a smile tugging your lips. “Maybe I’ll make an appointment myself next time.” 

Hyunjin laughs. “Well I was hoping I could give you my personal number. Maybe take you out on a date sometime. Then you’d never have to make an appointment again.”

“Oh! Y-Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”

“You’ll have to thank your friend for me for booking you this appointment though,” he jokes.

You burst out laughing because you forgot Minho is the reason you are here in the first place.

“I wasn’t sure if I wanted to thank him earlier,” you say, making Hyunjin laugh again, “but yeah, I guess I will now.”

You smile at him. Hyunjin cups your face in his hands for another kiss before he lets you get dressed, puts his number in your phone, then walks you back to the waiting room. He bids you goodbye with a gleam in his eye that makes your heart flutter once again. 

You hope this is the start of something happy and new.

---

The storm, it seemed, washed away any cloud from the sky, leaving it clear and limpid for days. The weather warmed up fast—afternoons were heavy, the air thick with humidity, the song of cicadas and birds, and the loud buzzing of dragonflies zooming around ponds. The sun was unforgivable, and it was best to avoid it for those few hours.

Mornings, however, were different.

Your dreams morphed into something else, something more tame. No more elaborate fantasies or sequences. What remained were flashes, images, seemingly meaningless scenes unrelated to one another. Like dreaming you woke up and went downstairs only to see Ali and Michelle on their daily walk and noticing that your mother was with them. Dreaming that you were on your way to meet Felix at Parker’s but not seeing the bar once you made it there. Dreaming of finding your old prom dress in your closet and calling Renee over so she could try it on. 

The man with the crimson hair had been painfully absent from your nighttime mental adventures. It was in itself an ironic form of torture—as much as the intense dreams you had of him before had troubled you, you couldn’t help but want them back. You found yourself wishing for it on a couple of occasions as you drifted to sleep, going as far as using visualization techniques to improve the odds of it happening. 

It did not happen. 

Mornings were pale blue and soft yellow, with the threat of scorching heat looming over but not yet tangible. You woke up early after a restful sleep, which was a brand new thing in your life and something you weren’t sure you’d ever get used to should it keep happening. You woke up and stayed in bed for a long time, long enough to see the world shift from grayscale to color, long enough to hear it go from quiet to lively. 

It was from your bed that you heard for the first time the peculiar song of a bird. At first, you weren’t sure it was a bird at all and lay on your stomach to watch the world through the large corner windows of your bedroom in the hopes of catching sight of the owner of this voice. 

» Read the full chapter on ao3. (you do not need an account to access it, just click the link!)

author's note: Hello guys! How have you been?

I couldn't help but stay in Heron Lake a little longer before maybe visiting another place... Maybe it's because of the weather warming up and the strong scent of flowers and spring. In any case, I had fun writing this chapter, and I hope it will not disappoint.

I would like to give a huge thank you to @cb97percent for helping me with this one. And thank you @binstitsweat for being so supportive always.

Thank you to my readers, always, who take the time to read between the lines, to ponder over the stories, thank you to my readers who let them live in their heart. I am, always, so grateful. 🤍

permanent taglist: @abiaswreck ; @accalus ; @aimeexx ; @b4kuho3 ; @binstitsweat ;

@casualtaelyn ; @cb97percent ; @changbinheart ; @chans1aptop ; @chartrucewhore ;

@dwaekkiracha ; @erispancakes ; @fairyracha ; @hanjingin ; @hwan-g ;

@hyuneyeon ; @hyunfruits ; @hyunjinswifeee ; @hyunsungbased ; @hyuwunjinie ;

@hyyuniverse ; @iam2out ; @imseungminsgf ; @jollchacho ; @katsukis1wife ;

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@straykids5star ; @suhomylife ; @sunlitwilderness ; @ven-fic-recs ; @yourmercibeaucoupsblog

The hostess takes you through the main dining section of the establishment and to a more secluded area, where she motions with a hand to the one occupied table by the windows that overlook the city. 

“Your server will come by for your drink order shortly,” she tells you, giving you a quick nod and something of a knowing smile before she returns to her post, allowing you to make the final distance to the table yourself.

The man sitting with his back to you hasn’t turned around, and you take a moment to collect yourself, swallowing thickly. Your eyes scan over his broad shoulders, taking in the pretty tweed suit, the colour of charcoal, and neatly styled black hair. 

You take a deep breath and begin forward.

“Sorry I’m late,” you apologize as you reach the man you’ve been in contact with just under a week- “you know how traffic can be-”

Your words feel jumbled in your mouth as Mr. Choi stands to greet you- because, although you’d been expecting a handsome man, you hadn’t been expecting him to be godlike-

The photos he’d had on the sugar dating site had been ten out of tens, but the man in front of you is a scale breaker. 

He’s even broader up close, and tall too- looking down at you with an amused expression, eyes practically twinkling-

“It’s alright,” he tells you smoothly, voice sexier than you could have ever imagined, “I’m glad you’re here now.”

“Me too,” you breathe, blinking up at him, etching his angelic features into your brain-

“You look beautiful,” Mr. Choi says, taking in the dress you’d spent three hours picking out-

His eyes don’t linger anywhere in particular, they’re quick to move back up to your face, and part of you almost wishes he’d stared at your chest just a little longer-

“Thank you,” you say, remembering you’ve yet to respond to his compliment.

“Would you like to sit?” he asks next, and you realize you’ve been staring too long, quickly tearing your gaze from him to give a curt nod. 

The two of you take your seats, and you adjust in your chair, letting out a shaky laugh. “I’m also sorry if I’m a little awkward- I feel like my social skills took a hit during the pandemic.” 

The man in front of you nods. “That’s understandable. The aftereffects of global isolation during covid is something that’s going to be studied by psychologists in depth in the coming years. You’re not alone in your feelings, believe me.”

You blink, thinking through his words. “Thank you-” you stutter, “for the reassurance, I mean.”

“Of course,” he nods again. “I think you’ll find I can be very reassuring, if need be.” 

Your skin tingles, and you can’t believe that you’d nearly let your best friend talk you out of this date.

‘Psychologists can be dangerous!’ Seungkwan had insisted, ‘One moment you think he’s your boyfriend, the next he’s hypnotized you to cover up a murder-’

You’d told him to stop rewatching Hannibal.

But you have to admit… Mr. Choi, or Seungcheol, as he’d called himself when he’d first messaged you, he definitely looks like Hannibal. 

Broad, handsome, tweed suit and all-

“I can see you’re thinking hard about something,” the man sitting across from you notes.

“Sorry, I was just-” you bite at your lip, “was just thinking that you’re probably really good at your job.”

His brows raise at this, and then he’s smiling, “Oh?”

“Yeah, you erm- you have a really calming voice and presence, and I mean- obviously you know what you’re talking about-”

“Are you in the market for a psychologist?” 

“No-” you answer quickly, “I mean, I don’t think so- that’s not why I matched with you at least.” 

The amused smile remains on his face, and it’s making it hard for you to look at him- 

He keeps his gaze so fixed on you, and he exudes confidence on top of the calm- 

Confidence that’s making your heart thump louder and louder in your chest-

“Hello, Mr. Choi,” the arrival of your waiter breaks the building tension you’re feeling. The question “How has your evening been so far?” confirms that Seungcheol knows the staff, and the pleasant way in which he responds tells you that you’re on a date with a good man. 

After a brief back and forth, Mr. Choi orders himself an Old Fashioned, and you ask for a gin and tonic.

Then, you’re once more alone with the man whose gaze is enough to have your pussy clenching with interest-

“I saw you were new to the site,” Seungcheol notes, and you can’t believe he’d bothered to look for that information on your profile, let alone remember it. “How’s your experience been so far?”

You take a moment to collect your thoughts before responding. “If I’m being honest, I talked to one person for a while, and when we met, he turned out to be- just- not a good person. So when you favourited me, and I thought you looked nice, I told myself it would be better to meet up in person without too much back and forth first.” 

“That sounds logical,” he agrees. “I’m sorry your first experience wasn’t what you thought it would be, but there is a silver lining, you’re here now.” 

“I’m here now,” you echo with a smile, and the waiter returns with your beverages.

Seungcheol had invited you for drinks and dessert. Seungkwan had insisted that meant drinks and sex, but your view of things is proved to be correct when Mr. Choi orders the ‘dessert tasting menu’ and the waiter scurries off again. 

“Should we make a toast?” you ask, allowing your eyes to trail over Seungcheol’s handsome face- his strong brow and pretty lips-

“We should,” he confirms, grabbing his glass and lifting it, “what would you like to toast to?”

“Being here now.”

“To being here now.” Seungcheol allows the lip of his glass to clink gently against your own before bringing it to his mouth, and you each drink to the moment.

“So,” you say when you set your cup down, “why drinks and dessert instead of dinner?”

“Dinners can be long, and full of expectations,” he tells you. “Drinks and dessert allows you to leave earlier, if you’d like to.”

“You seem like the kind of man who has everything figured out,” you muse.

The side of his mouth quirks into a charming half smile, and he leans forward slightly in his chair, assessing you with dark eyes- “Does that excite you?”

“Yes-” the word slips out before you can stop it.

The man in front of you leans back, satisfied. 

“What, exactly, are you looking for right now?” he prompts. “Your bio was… somewhat vague.”

“I guess-” you take a sip of your drink. “I guess it depends on who it is.”

“How about you start by telling me your thought process behind creating an account,” he suggests.

You’re momentarily distracted by the way his thumb rubs up and down the side of his cup- dragging through droplets of condensation gathered on the glass-

“My best friend loves Marilyn Monroe,” you find yourself saying.

This is clearly not the answer Seungcheol had expected, as he quirks that inquisitive brow of his at your words, and you’re quick to continue. 

“His favourite movie of hers is Gentlemen Prefer Blondes- and I’m not kidding, he’s been bleaching his hair since the tenth grade because of it- and there’s this quote- something like- ‘it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man.’ And I just sort of thought- I’m tired of putting a lot into relationships with people who give nearly nothing in return. At least with something like this- I’d be guaranteed something- you know?”

“It sounds like you’ve spent a lot of your life trying to make other people happy,” he notes smoothly. “I can understand why you’d want to be on the receiving end. Everyone deserves reciprocation.” 

He pauses, swirling his glass, but you can tell there’s something else on his mind, and you wait on the edge of your seat for more.

“From what you’ve said,” his thumb runs up the glass again, “it sounds to me like you’re looking for a contractual type of situation, moreso than a verbal agreement. Something with that added stability.”

“That’s correct,” you nod.

The last man hadn’t ever brought up contracts or boundaries or any of the things that are mentioned when you’d looked up what sugar babying entails. 

You’re enthralled by the professional way Mr. Choi is handling himself, and you’re enjoying his crystal clear communication.

“What-” you lick your lips, “what are you looking for?” 

“As you know, I’m a psychologist,” he states. “The job comes with a lot of responsibility. I take care of a number of people with quite severe conditions, and unfortunately, regardless of my intentions, this means I’ve had less time and energy to give to people in my own life.”

He pauses to take a breath and a sip of his whisky before continuing.

“I had a fiance for a time, but it became clear to me that she wanted a child. At the time, I wasn't ready to give up my work to be present in the way a developing mind would need. I’ve been looking for a sugar baby who would understand my lifestyle. Someone to meet with once or twice a week, who would provide happy company and the emotional closeness all human beings desperately need, without some of the… expectations that traditional relationships have. Does this sound like something that could interest you?”

You find yourself quickly nodding.

“Good,” he smiles warmly at you. “I’d love to explore the exact details of a contract over drinks, and we can choose a day to do that, but for now, if you don’t mind, I think I’d like to switch the topic and focus on you a little more.”

“On me?” you blink- 

Mr. Choi’s grin widens, and the warmth meets his eyes. “Yes, you. I think it’s safe to say we’re both physically attracted to each other, but I want to know more about who you are, inside that pretty body of yours.”

You can feel your skin heating from his compliment, and you avert your gaze, grabbing at your drink to take a sip and cool yourself. “What do you want to know?”

“Let’s start with the things that make you happiest.”

2: Thursday

“Look who finally decided to answer,” your best friend sighs loudly when you put him on speaker, and you can imagine his classic Seungkwan eye roll.

“I was sleeping,” you tell him, which only succeeds in earning you a scoff.

“And I have been waiting for details about your date since last night!” 

“I sent you a text saying it was good!”

“And then you put your phone on silent you whore!” your best friend screams, making you laugh at his antics- then his voice dips. “Did you fuck him?” 

“No, of course not-”

“You sound like you’re lying.”

“I’m not, I promise-” you roll onto your back and look up at your ceiling, letting out a breath. “Drinks and dessert literally meant drinks and dessert.” 

“Did he at least- I don’t know, feed you some of the dessert?”

“No.” 

“Oh.” The line is quiet for a moment. “Well that’s anti-climactic.”

You laugh. “First you wanted me going on dates with sugar daddies, then you were weird about Seungcheol, now you’re wishing I had fucked him-” 

“Well- did you enjoy yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Was he hot?”

You groan. “So fucking hot you don’t even know-” 

“Then I do wish you’d fucked him- you’re my best friend, and you deserve to get laid,” Seungkwan says plainly. “Also- I was only weird about this Seungcheol guy because he’s a therapist-”

“Psychologist.”

“Same thing- the point is, he’s a guy with power and a brain- that can be a deadly combination.” 

“I thought I told you to stop watching Hannibal,” you smile, enjoying the way Seungkwan turns everything into life or death.

He scoffs at your words, disregarding them. “So tell me about your date.”

“Like I said, it was good. I got there, we ordered drinks, he’s obviously like- super smart. We talked a little bit about why we’re on the site-”

“Why is he on the site? If he’s hot, rich, and smart?” Seungkwan asks. “Shouldn’t he be with- I don’t know… someone his own age? How old was he again?”

“Mid to late thirties- and there’s a reason for it actually. He mentioned a fiance who wanted kids- I think women ‘his age’ are all looking for a family, but he’s very… invested in his work,” you explain.

 “Oh. Huh.” You listen to the cogs in Seungkwan’s brain turning. “So- I guess he just wants a sugar baby to work around his busy schedule?”

“He’s looking for a companion-” you say, “but, you know, someone who can handle the fact that his work comes first.” 

“Right.” A beat, then; “So did you guys talk money?” 

“Seungkwan!”

“What!?” he yells back. “Quit beating around the bush!” 

“He didn’t just- whip a wad of cash out and give it to me,” you laugh. “He paid for everything of course, and we agreed to discuss a contract over drinks-”

“When?”

“Actually-” you look down at your phone, which has just buzzed, scanning the new text. “Coincidently, he’s texting me now.”

“Oooh! What’s he saying?!” 

“He said, ‘I really enjoyed your company last night. Would you like to join me for drinks tomorrow at eight?’” 

“Wow, this dude works fast- are you sure you didn’t suck him off or anything?”

“Seungkwan!” 

“I just mean- two dates in three days- this is fast.”

“Yeah well,” you shrug while texting out a confirmation response for Seungcheol, “if you’d seen Mr. Choi in person, you’d be hoping things go fast too.”

“Is he really that sexy? This isn’t just- your old man kink?”

“I dont have an old man kink-”

“Sure you don’t.”

You groan. “Seungkwan, just trust me. This man-” you swallow thickly, “he could choke me out- and I’d say thank you daddy.”

“Right, but let’s hope he doesn’t though.” 

3: Friday

Part of you isn’t surprised that Seungcheol has a study in his home, but another part of you wonders if this man is really someone you should be entertaining, with his shelves of psychology texts and autobiographies written by renowned people in his field- and the framed degrees and papers of certification-

Seungcheol is the real deal; it’s clear as day and reflected in his home.

He gives you a tour of the main floor, moving from the study to the dining room, and despite your ardent attempt at listening- it’s hard to focus. 

If he’d been godlike in the charcoal tweed suit when you’d first met him- well, you don’t even know how to describe how well he fits into a plain white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to expose strong, bulky forearms- and then there’s the way the material stretches over his deliciously broad shoulders every time he turns his back to you-

“Now that I’ve given you a small tour, why don’t you take a seat,” he says as you enter his kitchen. “And I’ll grab us drinks. What are you feeling? Wine, water, beer, champagne-”

“Whatever you think is best,” you tell him, a little overwhelmed by the effect his home is having on you- 

The effect he is having on you. 

“I think I’d like to give you champagne,” he says, turning his back to you to open his fridge.

You find yourself nearly drooling at the brief moments you’re able to gawk at his shoulders again- and when he faces you, your eyes immediately zero in on his hands as they begin to fiddle with the bottle-

“Has anyone ever talked you through opening a bottle of champagne before?” he asks.

Your eyes meet briefly and you feel your skin heat when you admit, “not really- is there a specific way to do it?”

“I’m not sure if there’s one specific way,” Seungcheol chuckles a little, looking down at his task. “At ceremonies, sometimes they’ll use a sword and knock the top of the neck clean off- but for our purposes, and to avoid breaking anything with the cork if it shoots off, I prefer utilizing the cork cage,” he runs his fingers across the metal contraption on top of the bottle. “The trick is to unwind it most of the way, but keep it on so when you manuever the cork up-” his thumb runs along the seem, working at it- “it pops,” there’s a loud sound, “but it gets caught by the cork cage, and then, both are easily removed.”

He’d done the motion so professionally- a man who’s opened many a champagne bottle in his time. 

Seungcheol seems to be an expert of everything - a true wealth of knowledge - and it’s one of the sexiest things you’ve ever experienced. 

You watch him pour two glasses of the bubbly liquid, and then he gingerly slides one across the marble island countertop, “I think you’ll enjoy this.”

He watches you with an amused expression while you raise the champagne to your lips, and when your eyes widen at the taste, he grins.

“It’s really good,” you say, toying with the stem of your glass. 

Now it’s your turn to watch him take a sip- and you’re blown away by how sexy he can be while simply drinking- his adam’s apple bobbing-

You wanna lick his neck.

You wanna lick his neck so bad-

“Should we get down to business?” he asks.

You wanna get down on something- and it’s not business. 

“Er- yes, we should,” you agree, shifting the way you’re seated on the bar stool at his counter-

Your panties are sticking to your core and it’s a little uncomfortable- 

You have no idea how this night is going to pan out, no idea if you’ll actually end up in his bed- so you’ve worn a beautiful, silky, matching set- its one drawback is the way the material sticks to  you when you’re even slightly aroused- and you’ve been aroused since the moment Seungcheol opened the door to his home and invited you in.

“Since this is a contract we’re making together, I held myself back from writing one up,” he explains. “I was thinking we could discuss it verbally, and I’ll write up a copy of what we’ve talked about after you go home tonight-” 

You feel your expression fall a little and Seungcheol pauses, expert eyes assessing you. 

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

“No,” you assure him, swallowing thickly and averting your gaze, “that sounds like a good idea.”

There are a few more moments of silence, and then Seungcheol rests both hands on the countertop, leaning forward, voice dipping when he says, “Darling, as much as I’d love for you to stay over tonight, I promised myself I wouldn’t fuck you until the third date.” 

Your skin feels electrified, and you gawk at the gorgeous man, who looks down at you with an amused grin.

You nearly shock yourself when the words “why not?” tumble past your lips, and his affectionate smile widens at your question.

“We’ve hardly discussed expectations,” he answers smoothly. “It would be… unwise for me to skip those important steps, to give you time to consider your options.”

“My options?”

“I am older than you,” he points out, “and there’s still a chance you might decide you want someone who can give you more of his time. I want you to be sure about all of this.”

“I am sure,” you insist.

“You think you are,” he muses, bringing his champagne to his lips, “but until you see a finalized document, you shouldn’t be agreeing to anything.”

“You won’t hurt me-” you tell him, “I trust you.”

“Although we only just met,” he points out. “If you trust me at all, trust in this process, okay, Sweetheart?”

You swallow any words of insistence that threaten to bubble up out of you, nodding and taking a sip of your own drink.

“So,” he lets out a sigh, “we discussed a few of my expectations when we first met, do you remember what they were?”

“You were looking for a companion of sorts, who could manage you being at work frequently,” you respond, feeling pleased when he nods and smiles at you. “Someone to meet up with once or twice a week.”

“Very good, Angel,” he praises you. “While it’s implied, I’d like to solidify what you might call a key condition.”

You’re practically on the edge of your seat, waiting for him to continue, your interest piqued.

“Any contract you’d sign would come with a loyalty clause.” He pauses for a moment, eyes searching your own. “Do you understand what that entails?”

“I think so,” you nod. “It would be an agreement that while I’m seeing you, I wouldn’t be entertaining anyone else. We’d be exclusive.”

“That’s my smart girl,” he smiles. “Even though I don’t have much time for you, I’d provide for you to live comfortably when I’m not around, in the hopes that, when we are together, we’re both committed to making the best of it.” 

You love the way that sounds.

“Which brings me to my next point,” he continues, “monthly allowances. I’ll cover your food, rent, utilities- anything you need, and provide extra spending money for clothing, jewelry, etcetera.” 

“Wow, that’s-” you feel your eyes widening, “that’s very generous of you.”

“It’s really not,” he insists. “You’re a beautiful, bright, young woman, and you’re agreeing to be a companion to some middle aged psych nut who hardly has enough time for you-” you both laugh a little at the way he refers to himself, “compensation is a must.”

You have to stop yourself from happily chirping an ‘if you say so daddy’ at the man that is so close to becoming everything you’ve ever wanted for yourself-

“On top of our one-on-one interactions,” Seungcheol says, “I’d also like for you to accompany me to professional events, but I’d need you to be discreet. On top of a loyalty clause, I might have you sign a nondisclosure act- how does that sound to you?”

You consider it for a moment. “I’m not the type to go tell people about my personal life- and other than my best friend, no one even knows I was on the sugar site-”

“Your friend who loves Marilyn Monroe and bleaches his hair?” Seungcheol asks with an amused expression.

“You remembered-” you laugh, heart warming to know how many details he’s held onto in regard to your first meeting.

“The NDA can exclude your close friend, we all need a confidant.”

“Thank you,” you swallow, “I think- if it allows me to talk to Seungkwan, signing a NDA would be okay.”

“Perfect,” Seungcheol nods, drinking the last of his champagne. “We’ve covered a few of the most important parts of an agreement, so I think maybe now is a good time to grab another important document that I need you to look over.”

“Oh?”

“Stay here for a moment, I’ll be right back,” Seungcheol assures you, flashing you a quick wink before exiting the kitchen.

It’s almost torturous to be alone anywhere in Seungcheol’s home without him, and part of you is inclined to follow him around like a lost, needy puppy-

You finish your drink while you wait, taking breaths to calm yourself, afterall, he’d said he wouldn’t be fucking you tonight- therefore, there’s not much for you to worry about.

Seungcheol returns shortly, holding a dark leather file folder, which he offers to you.

“What’s this?” you ask, not wanting to open it without being prompted to- but your curiosity is as high as ever.

“Separate from our sugar agreement, this is a bdsm contract. It has a list of kinks and other things, as well as a section for you to fill out, detailing what you’re comfortable - and more importantly - what you’re uncomfortable with. I’d like you to take it home, look it over, and if you have any questions, let me know.”

“Right-” you stand up, holding the file folder to your chest-

Any words that you were thinking of saying disappear when you look up at Seungcheol, once more marveling at your size difference and how beautiful he is-

“You’re easily distractable,” he grins, pinching at your chin gently, “aren’t you, Angel?”

“Yes sir,” you mumble-

Easily dazed too.

“My driver will take you home now,” the (much too sexy) psychologist tells you. “His name is Seokmin, you’ll probably have to remind him to give you his number. He’ll be available to you from now on if you need to go anywhere.”

“You have a driver?” you blink- shocked at how he’s able to afford all of this-

You realize he must come from old money- and you’re appalled you hadn’t noticed it before.

He doesn’t carry himself in the way a man who’d made a name for himself would- he has an air of confidence- a confidence that runs deep and is backed up by family money.

“Yes, darling,” Seungcheol grins, “we have a driver.”

4: Saturday

You’ve always loved having movie night with your best friend, but tonight, he’s not interested in movies. Seungkwan is easily distractable - a little like you, you suppose - and when you’d arrived over an hour ago, he’d immediately insisted on knowing every detail about your experience with the man he now refers to as ‘Psych daddy.’

On top of being distractable, Seunkwan is easy to please, and you manage to avoid mentioning the BDSM contract for a good long while, instead focusing on Seungcheol’s hot driver, who Seungkwan finds on instagram within five minutes.

“No way- first Psych Daddy is a ten out of ten, and now his driver is hot too?” Seungkwan bellows while mad scrolling through Seokmin’s profile. “Are you sure we’re not in some weird porn dream? You’re not gonna get tag teamed are you?”

“Seungkwan!” you scream, gently smacking him across the shoulder in shock.

“We were both thinking it!” he insists, shoving you back.

“I’ll have you know that we were not both thinking it,” you state with just as much certainty. 

“But you mentioned how nice the guy was when he dropped you off last night and we called for like five minutes before you hung up on me to go to bed!”

“Yeah, in the context that Seungcheol is really nice to everyone that works for him, despite being-”

“One of the youngest, sexiest psych daddies in the city, yeah, yeah-” Seungkwan waves his hand, “Stop rubbing it in.”

“Have you been researching my boyfriend again?” you ask, thoroughly amused.

“Boyfriend?” Seunkwan eyes you up and down, sneering. “Is that what we call dom daddies now?” 

“If he makes you sign a loyalty clause and a NDA, I think I can call him whatever I want, can’t I?” you point out. “And you avoided my question- you’ve definitely been googling Cheol again.”

“Been googling myself to pictures of pysch daddy-” Seungkwan says suggestively before asking, “He made you sign an NDA?”

“Not yet,” you sigh, “and don’t worry, we’ve discussed it and it will exclude you- I can tell you anything I want to.”

“Shit, did you tell him my name? Do you think he’ll accept me as a patient if he knows I’m your best friend?”

“Since when do you need a psychologist?” you laugh.

“Uh,” Seungkwan’s brows raise, “Bestie, have you seen my life? I definitely need someone to confide in who knows what the fuck he’s talking about.”

“Ouch,” you touch your heart, pretending to be wounded. “Since when did you not like crack gremlin advice?”

“Since you put down your crack gremlin hat and became a sugar baby to a hot psychologist,” Seungkwan sighs, taking one last look at Seokmin’s grinning face before he puts his phone down and focuses entirely on you. “But go back a few steps and talk to me about this loyalty clause- psych daddy sends you home with a ton of papers to sign, huh?”

“More than you could imagine.”

Your best friend looks you up and down with suspicion, brow raising in a silent prompt for more info.

When you remain quiet, Seungkwan sighs. “Fine, don’t tell me,” but after a beat, he asks, “Was it a sex list or something?”

You’re always stunned by how intuitive your best friend can be.

Upon reading your reaction, Seungkwan’s eyes widen and he grabs at your arm, nearly jumping with excitement. “No way!” he yells in your ear. “He did send you home with a sex list! Show me, show me, show me!” 

You look to your bag and before you can even reach for it, Seungkwan is darting past you and retrieving the papers. “Holy shit-” he breathes, scanning the document with eyes full of something like perverted excitement. “A checklist for kinks?”

“Yup.”

“Choking, yes. Spanking, fuck yeah- bondage-” he grins at you, “looks like someone’s a little slut for psych daddy.”

“Oh my god,” you groan, reaching for the papers, but he launches himself off the couch to evade you. “If you’re gonna be like this, I don’t want to show you.”

“Fine, I’ll be nice,” Seungkwan says, but he’s still reading the list, and his voice is lacking any real sincerity. “Okay so most of these are straightforward-”

“You watch way too much porn,” you sigh.

He practically growls at you. “As I was saying- most of these are straightforward, and you’ve filled out the ones I would have expected you to- but some of these are things even I have never heard of- like, what the fuck is…” he carefully sounds out the next word, “Quirofilia?”

“Honestly- the ones I didn’t know about, I just sort of skipped over, hoping maybe you would know- but…” you can’t stop the sly grin that works its way onto your lips, “I guess Cheol did say I could call him if I had any questions…”

“At this point, it’s almost like this list is purposefully vague on some kinks-” Seungkwan sighs, joining you on the couch again. “I bet Psych daddy has been waiting for you to call him for extra clarification.”

“We could google it,” you point out.

“Definitely not,” Seungkwan says quickly. “Call daddy, and put him on speaker.”

“Oh, so he’s just daddy now?” you tease, pulling out your phone. 

“Call him.”

“Hmm… maybe I’ll text,” you decide. “He could be busy.”

“That’s no fun,” Seunkwan whines, pouting out his lower lip.

“Too bad,” you tell him, typing in a quick message. “I said, ‘hey, whenever you have time, I have a few questions about some of the terms on the kink list.’”

“Add a smiley face,” your friend urges, “so he knows it’s like- good questions.”

You add a happy emoji, and hit send. Then you put your phone down, reaching for the papers from Seungkwan. 

“He might not answer anytime soon-” you say- just as your phone buzzes the familiar ringtone that you’ve only given to one person.

Both you and Seungkwan stare at your ringing phone, and then your best friend grins at you. 

“This guy is so whipped for you it’s crazy- are you sure you haven’t sucked his dick?”

“Oh my god stop!” you groan, “and be quiet or I can’t answer-”

“I’ll be quiet,” he insists, pretending to lock his mouth shut and throw away the key.

With one final warning glare, you turn your focus to your phone, answering the call. “Hello?” 

“Hey, gorgeous,” comes Seungcheol’s unmistakable smooth drawl- god, he makes your mouth fucking water- “So you got around to looking at the kink list.”

He’s so god damned confident- and when you look up at Seungkwan, you see he’s just as shook by your new lover as you are.

“Uh, yes,” you clear your throat. “There are just a few terms I’m unfamiliar with, and- I know I could look them up, but you said to call you if I had questions-”

“Of course Angel, I’d love to help talk you through it.”

Your panties are wet.

They’re wet, and your best friend is nearly falling off the couch from how seductive your new sugar daddy is.

“What kinks are you unfamiliar with?” Seungcheol prompts, and you can practically hear him smiling at the way he’s taking your breath away on a freaking phone call- 

“There’s this one,” your eyes scan over the word Quirofilia, and you do your best not to mangle it the way Seungkwan had when you relay it to Cheol.

“Quirofilia,” he repeats, teaching you the proper pronunciation with the calm, pleasant tone you’re starting to fall in love with. “It’s another term for a hand kink.”

Now it’s your turn to echo, and you say “A hand kink,” while blinking at your friend.

“Yes, angel,” Seungcheol chuckles on the other end. “If you check off the box for receiving, you’d indicate that you’d be more than comfortable with me touching you frequently. For lack of a better term, it goes hand in hand with a number of other kinks- spanking and choking for example, or finger sucking.”

“And for giving?” you question, having already checked off a yes for what he’s just described.

“For giving…” he clears his throat, “well, you’d let me pay for you to get manicures- maybe let me choose the colours and styles-” there’s another pause, then “I have to admit, I did notice that you have nice hands the first night we met.”

“Really?” your heart lurches in your chest and Seungkwan grabs a pillow to bite while listening in on a conversation that’s getting sexier and sexier- “What did you like about them?”

“They’re smaller than mine, for one. I’m sure we can both imagine how pretty they’d look wrapped around something… substantially bigger.” 

Your best friend spasms, practically screaming into the pillow, and you can’t help the way your own jaw drops at the statement- 

Are you about to have phone sex with Cheol in front of your best friend?

Do you need to get a room?

“We can discuss it in detail when I see you next,” Seungcheol says, cutting off your horny thoughts. “Are there any other kinks you’ve had trouble with?”

“I mean-” part of you wants to go through the whole list and pretend not to know things just to keep him on the phone- “if we’re going to discuss these all in detail when I see you next- maybe I should just wait till then?”

You can’t believe you’re cock blocking yourself just because Seungkwan is here.

“We can do that,” Seungcheol says smoothly. 

In the background, you hear someone say his name, and you find yourself asking, “did I catch you at a bad time?” suddenly worried you’ve interrupted something important.

“Of course not, angel, I wouldn’t have called you if I couldn’t step away for a few minutes.” There’s a pause then, “I’m at a conference this weekend, flew out this morning.”

“Oh,” your heart deflates a little.

“I was tempted to invite you,” Seungcheol says, calming the uneasiness you’re feeling. “But seeing as you’ve not signed anything, and I already had plans with colleagues, I figured this wouldn’t be the best first trip to take you on.”

This excites you again. “Do you have somewhere specific in mind for a first trip?”

“Somewhere warm,” he answers smoothly, a small chuckle following a moment later. “Anyways, I won’t be that available tomorrow, you caught me at a good moment tonight.”

“Well… will you be back on Monday?” you question.

Another small laugh, then, “Are you that eager to see me, gorgeous?”

“Maybe.” You eye Seungkwan who’s still screaming into the pillow. “But I mean- I remember what you said about needing a sugar baby that fits your schedule, so, I don’t want to pressure you to see me the day you get back from a work conference-”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, angel,” his smooth voice calms your anxieties. “I do have quite a busy week, a few things aren’t pinned down yet, can I let you know when I have more details?”

“Yes, of course-” you bite at your lip. “I should let you get back to your colleagues- thanks for calling me and talking me through uh- Quirofilia.”

You hear him take a deep breath, and then, Seungcheol lets out something like a groan- “I’m tempted to ask what you checked off for it.”

His words go straight to your pussy and after a moment of silence you ask, “Do you want me to tell you?”

“No,” he responds, “It will give me something to think about tonight if you don’t tell me.”

“Okay,” you grin at the way he’s toying with himself- ego fuelled by the idea of him thinking about you- “I’m excited to talk more about this with you when I see you next.”

“Me too, angel.”

“Have a great time at your conference daddy.” 

You slap a hand over your mouth, eyes widening at the way the term of endearment just slipped out of you-

Seungcheol lets out a deep sigh that betrays how much the word has affected him, and he sounds less composed than normal when he says, “Thank you, precious, enjoy your evening.”

You hang up, and as soon as you have, Seungkwan goes ballistic, practically pouncing at you while screaming, “That was too sexy! You guys are too sexy, what the hell!?”

Laughing at his antics is easy- pretending your panties aren’t ruined is another story.

5: Sunday

The ringtone that makes your whole body tingle with anticipation is becoming more and more familiar, and you practically launch yourself across your bed to answer your phone.

“Hi.”

A small chuckle, and a breath, then, “Hey you.”

“How's your conference going?” you ask, having not expected to hear from Cheol today.

“Good. It’s over, we finished the last meet up just before dinner. What are you up to?”

You grin to yourself, playing with the book in your lap. “I’m reading your most recent publication.”

“My most recent publication?” you can hear him smiling now too, and you enjoy the way he teases your choice of phrase. “Since when were you going out and buying my books, darling?”

“Since I saw how many you’ve done- when you showed me your library. I went out this morning and got two.”

“You could have asked, and I would have given you them for free… with a detailed note from the author.” 

“I was eager to begin reading,” you admit. “And you’re so busy- I’m still not sure when I’m seeing you next.”

“That’s actually why I called. I took a look at my schedule, and I’ve got options for you.”

“Ooh! I love options.” 

Another smile you can hear through the phone, and your heart beats a little faster. 

“I can see you alone on Friday, it’s the earliest day I have available- but if you’d like, you can accompany me to a get-together with my work colleagues on Wednesday. I know you haven’t signed any papers and we haven’t discussed anything in detail yet but… I have a good feeling about you, angel, and I’d enjoy having you there.”

“Then of course I’ll go with you to the get-together,” you announce, grinning like a school girl at the inklings of praise he bestows on you.

“That’s wonderful news, gorgeous.” - you love it when he calls you pretty pet names - “I’m sorry that this call can’t be longer- but I’ll see you Wednesday- and I’m sure I’ll find a reason to call you before then.”

“Yes, please.” 

He laughs, and the sound has your core buzzing with interest- how the hell is Seungcheol so sexy without even trying?

“Have a good night, angel, and don’t read too much of my book- they’re all depressing.”

“They’re informative,” you insist. “Have a wonderful night Cheol, and thanks for calling.”

6: Monday

“Hi.” 

You’ve gotta stop answering your phone with a full grin- but every time Seungcheol calls you, you can’t help but get warm and fuzzy all over.

“Hi, angel.” 

And wet. Wet all over. 

Wet where it counts.

“I was just thinking about you,” you confess, toying with the page of his book that you’ve been reading.

“Funny, I was just thinking about you,” he responds, “and I have been, all day. It’s quite distracting actually.”

“Really?” Your heart leaps again.

“I was thinking about getting you something to wear to the party on Wednesday- was going to get Seokmin to drop it off at your place, but then… I realized how much I’d rather see you and give you the dress in person, to see your reaction.”

This man gives you full on heart palpitations- and it takes everything in you to clear your throat and ask, “so does this mean I’ll see you before Wednesday, or?”

“I mean… I don’t want to assume you’re free every night- but if you’re not otherwise busy tomorrow-”

“I always have time for you daddy,” you smile, “and I’ll sign a contract to prove it.”

He lets out a shaky breath, and you love that you’re having an effect on him. “That’s good to hear sweetheart. I’ll move a few things around. How does seven sound?”

“Seven sounds perfect.”

“And it will be a longer stay this time. I know I kept our last interaction at my home brief- but if you bring all the documents I gave you, we can…” he clears his throat, “discuss them in full, tomorrow, if you’d like”

“I’d love that,” you admit.

“Seokmin will be at your place to pick you up at seven then, angel. I can’t wait to see you.”

“I can’t wait either.”

7: Tuesday

Seungcheol is a man who strives for perfection. From his home and work, all the way down to the pretty present he’s gotten for you, the box wrapped in a golden bow-

And when you open your gift to reveal an expensive red fabric just itching to be touched- you think there’s a possibility that you might very much be in love with the psychologist already.

“It’s beautiful-” you breathe, pulling the silky garment from its box to assess the length and style.

“You were wearing red when we first met,” Seungcheol tells you, “I thought to myself that I’d never seen such a gorgeous girl- when I invited you to the gettogether tomorrow, I knew there was only one colour I truly wanted to see you in.”

Your heart is having palpitations, you swear- 

“Do you-” you swallow thickly, looking up at him, “do you want me to try it on for you now?” 

It’s his turn to take a shaky breath, and after a stagnant pause, he shakes his head, “No. I think I’d like to be surprised tomorrow- besides, after we get done looking over the papers and contracts, I feel as if we’d both prefer you to be taking off clothes rather than putting them on.” 

He’s right about that.

You only wish you’d known about his affinity for the color red before you’d chosen a black lingerie set, knowing that tonight would be the night he’d finally strip you bare-

You can’t wait for him to fuck you. You honestly can’t- and all these paper signings- they’re just a formality for you. 

As far as you’re concerned, Cheol is the one- or at least, he could be the one. 

Or maybe he’s just the ‘for now,’ but regardless, for now, you want to be ravenously fucking him-

“My easily distractable darling,” he gently pinches at your chin, pulling you from your dirty thoughts. “Let’s see the papers.”

After putting the dress back in its box, you grab the purse you’d arrived with. It’s large enough to hold the folder with the documents, which you pull out next, setting it down on Seungcheol’s kitchen counter. 

“I see you’ve printed out the other documents I sent you since we last met,” he says, and you can hear the pride in his voice that you’d gone a step above and beyond what he’d asked of you. 

After your last date, wherein you’d gotten the kink list, he’d sent you an email with a link to a contractual pdf. Once you’d gone over the contract in detail on your computer, you’d printed it out, eager to sign your name- but you’d been patient, knowing he’d probably want to witness your signature being jotted down on the dotted line.

“I’m ready to sign them,” you tell him, also pulling a pen out of your purse-

“Eager angel,” he smiles, taking the seat on the barstool next to yours. “Are you sure you don’t want to read it all over one more time?”

“I’m sure,” you tell him, angling your body towards his and fiddling with your pen. 

“Alright,” Seungcheol nods, rolling up the sleeves of his white button-down, his forearms flexing. “How about you let me sign first, then you can do your own signature.”

You hold out your pen, which he accepts, and you watch the way he adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose when he looks down at the contract. His eyes scan over the document, and a moment later, the ballpoint pen is gliding languidly across the dotted line, his signature solidified in a binding agreement. 

“There we go,” he says smoothly, holding the pen out for you to take.

Within seconds, two signatures are on the contract, and your heart is racing just a little faster in anticipation of what’s to come next.

“And now to look over your kink list,” Seungcheol breathes, moving the signed papers to the side. 

Your heart lurches when he picks up the sheet you’ve filled in, and you stay silent while his eyes move over each line of information. 

“As much as these all interest me,” he says, “I’m pleased to see you’ve checked off giving and receiving for quirofilia.” His large hand moves to rest on top of your thigh, and he gives you a gentle squeeze, eyes shifting from the paper to your own. “Will you allow me to book a manicure for you tomorrow? In preparation for the get-together?”

“Yes, please,” you rest your hand on top of his own.

“We’ll have to get your nails matching your new dress,” he tells you smoothly, setting the paper down in favour of pushing a strand of hair away from your face, his index finger gently gliding past your cheekbone. “And there will be another present for you tomorrow.”

“Another?” you’re nearly dizzy from how well he treats you-

“Another,” he confirms, taking off his glasses to set down before standing from the bar stool. 

“Are you going to tell me what it is?” you ask, allowing him to prompt you to your own feet, both of his hands gently capturing your own.

Seungcheol gives his head a small shake, a smile on his lips when he responds with a “no.”

Something inside of you deflates slightly at the fact that he’s withholding information from you, and you can’t help the way you pout your lower lip out - just a little - in an effort to perhaps make him change his mind-

“Come on, angel,” Seungcheol laughs, pinching your chin and forcing you to look up at him. His dark chocolate colored eyes are swimming with adoration, and his small half smile is breathtaking- “you can be patient for one more day, can’t you?”

“Depends what for,” you admit, reaching your free hand out to hook your fingers in the front of his belt, pulling yourself closer to the man who’s as solid as any brick wall you’ve ever seen-

“Patience for the next present,” he clarifies, gaze dipping down to your lips as you move even closer to him- “not for anything else.”

“Promise?” you ask, pushing onto your tip toes- mouths even closer-

“Promise,” Seungcheol says, finally closing the distance between you.

His lips are soft- he’s a gentleman, and his hand moves from your chin to be cupping the nape of your neck, the other smoothing down to the small of your back. 

It’s chaste kissing- too chaste for you, and you wrap your arms around the back of his own neck, pressing your chest up against his.

You don’t want any more distance between you, and you especially don’t want to wait any longer for this man to fuck the ever-loving shit out of you.

“Cheol-” you groan, allowing him to tilt your head and slide his tongue along your lower lip.

“Yes, angel?” His voice is so deep and sexy, the vibrations of it going straight through from his chest to your own and then down to your tingling core-

“Daddy, please-” 

“I would ask you to use your words, but now that you’ve filled out your kink list-” he swallows thickly, gently pressing his forehead to yours, “I think I have a pretty good idea of what you’d enjoy.”

In the back of your mind, you remember that you’d said yes to most of the kinks on the list- so you’re not sure how - exactly - he’s going to narrow it down and decide on what to do to you today- but there’s another part of you that trusts him fully.

Tonight is going to be a night to remember, regardless of what kinks he fulfills for you.

“Wait-” your hands move from his strong shoulders to the front of his dress shirt, toying with the buttons there, “I never saw your kink list.”

“Would you like to?”

You nod.

“Another time then,” Seungcheol says smoothly, “tonight, I want to take care of you. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds good,” you admit, tugging on his shirt in an effort to pull him closer.

With a smile, Seungcheol concedes, lips finding yours again. 

Instead of being as chaste as he had at the start, with each brush of your mouths against each other, he’s becoming more bold, gently testing your limits-

Little does he know that when it comes to him, you have no hard limits.

He could talk you into just about anything- but part of you knows he’d never really try to talk you into much, which is one of the reasons why you’re so open for him.

As he kisses you harder, and you tug him even closer, you realize you’re practically trying to climb him- and in one motion, Seungcheol bends down and lifts you into his arms bridal style, being mindful of the black dress still adorning your body.

“I’m going to take you to my bedroom now,” he tells you, and you take the opportunity to begin speckling his neck and underjaw in kisses, your hands tugging and toying with the fabric covering his broad shoulders. 

It’s so easy to become lost in him- his gentle, calming aura truly overtakes you, and now that you’re contractually under his protection - both financially and romantically - nothing else does matter- 

Nothing except him.

You want to make Seungcheol happy- and you note his reactions, note the way he releases a shuddery breath when you find a sensitive spot just under his ear- your tongue dipping out to taste his skin while you press kisses there-

“Okay, angel,” he sighs, “time to set you down.” 

He places you gently onto his bed before straightening to look at you. 

Seungcheol has always been tall and broad- but towering over you at the foot of his bed while you lay there with soaked panties takes him to new heights - literally - and you find yourself practically drooling- sitting up in an effort to get close to him again-

“Nuh uh uh,” he tuts, pressing one knee onto the mattress between your legs. “Lift your arms so I can take this dress off of you, and then lay back down for me, yeah?”

You follow through with his request gladly, allowing him to strip you of your dress before you flatten against his bed again, looking up at him with a lustful wonder that you’ve never truly experienced.

“There’s my pretty girl,” Seungcheol says smoothly, discarding your dress before looking down at you with appreciative eyes- eyes that finally take in some of your best features, gliding across your breasts and the lingerie set you’re wearing- “You dressed up for me,” he notes.

“Of course, daddy,” you sigh, reaching for him when he presses his other knee onto the bed, “wanted to look good for you.”

“You always look good,” he tells you, flattening his form over your own, one hand pressed to the mattress next to your head while the other gently grasps your jaw. “My pretty little angel,” he says, breath fanning across your skin before his lips find your own.

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer and looking for friction between your thighs-

A moan slips out of you when you feel his cock, pressing against the front of his pants deliciously-

Seungcheol chuckles into your kiss before pulling away from you, his lips moving to your neck- 

“So sensitive, baby,” he says, rutting forward ever so slightly- cock dragging past your panty-clad core and making you groan again. “When was the last time you were properly touched?”

“It’s been a while,” you admit, swallowing thickly and lacing your fingers through Seungcheol’s hair while he kisses down to the swell of your breasts, still captured in your bra. 

“Well, we’re going to change that.”

“We better,” you retort, back already arching off the bed to give him access to the clasp of your bra- which he undoes with deft fingers. “Take it off- please-”

The garment slips off of you easily, and Seungcheol tosses it to join your dress on the floor before his large, warm hand is cupping your breast, lips attaching to one nipple while his fingers toy with the other.

Small gasps of ecstasy escape you, filling the room with your whimpery sounds of need.

Your new lover focuses on your breasts in a way that begins to make you frustrated, your pussy clenching with untouched desire- and the feeling of Seungcheol’s muscled shoulders is almost too much for your hands, which can’t help but explore his body-

“Please-” you moan, shifting your hips up, eager for him to grind down on you again-

The hand on your breast is removed, and it slips between your bodies, two fingers pressing to your pussy through your panties. 

You release a whimper, body shuddering at the small stimulus on your clit-

“Your panties are soaked, angel,” he says, releasing your breast in favor of looking down at you again. “Do you really need me that much?” 

“I do,” you tell him sincerely, once more tugging at the front of his shirt. “I need you so bad-”

Your fingers begin to undo his buttons, but your motions are shaky, especially as he rubs your core harder, teasing you through your panties-

“Please- just take them off,” you groan. “Take it all off-”

Seungcheol grins, “If you insist,” and then he’s pulling away from you, leaving you cold and desperate, your hands trying to follow him-

But then you stop, zoning in on the way his own nimble fingers undo the buttons of his shirt-

And then he’s shrugging the fabric off, revealing a chiseled torso and an abdomen that you could wash clothes on-

“You’re so-” you groan, unable to even believe you’d found a man like this on a sugar dating site.

“I’m so…” he looks at you with a cocked brow, kneeling between your legs, his hands finding your thighs and smoothing down against your skin.

“You’re everything,” you tell him, unable to think through much else.

The complement works, and Seungcheol’s smile widens. “Thank you, angel,” he says. “Daddy’s going to eat you now.”

You’re so overwhelmed- in the best of ways- that you hardly even hear Seungkwan’s voice in the back of your mind screaming ‘hannibal the cannibal, bitch!’ 

Your best friend had been so wrong about Seungcheol- who gets down onto his knees at the foot of the bed, dragging you closer before hooking his fingers in your panties-

You lift your hips, allowing him to tug the fabric from your form, leaving you completely naked-

Seungcheol releases a breath that fans over your pussy, his lips pressing a wet kiss on your inner thigh.

“You’re so perfect,” he says, teeth grazing past your skin before he finally brings his mouth where you need him most.

You can’t help but reach down and tangle your fingers through his hair, determined to keep him between your thighs-

And he doesn’t disappoint, tongue licking you up and down, pressing through your pussy lips and dipping into your core, nose brushing by your clit-

“Cheol-” you whimper, toes curling at the sensation.

You’ve been eaten out before, but you’ve never been as into a man as you are with Seungcheol, and every brush of him against you has you practically whining and tingling with ecstasy.

You’d never thought sex could be this good- and he hasn’t even fucked you yet.

His tongue is nothing compared to what his cock is going to feel like- but his mouth alone is bringing you shockingly close to your high, devastatingly fast. 

Seungcheol releases a groan against your pussy, pulling away just enough to ask “close already, angel?”

“Mmm- yes,” you whimper, tightening your grip in his hair on an effort to bring him back to your pussy.

“You can cum, just- let me know,” he tells you, tongue returning to your aching hole, lapping at you for all you’re worth-

You find your eyes closing, your head resting back against his bed while his ministrations work you closer and closer to the edge-

One of your feet drags along his strong back, your legs threatening to close around his head as your sounds of pleasure begin to tumble out of you uncensored, filling the room-

Seungcheol presses his face against you even harder, lips wrapping around your clit-

“Cheol- I’m gonna-” you whine, breaths becoming irregular as you get closer and closer to cloud nine- “oh my god-” you reach the peak of pleasure, and a gasped “daddy” escapes you as you’re consumed with your orgasm, quivering legs trying to close around Seungcheol-

But two hands land on your inner thighs, forcing you open for the man who eats you through your high like he’s been starved- 

Perhaps you both have.

You haven’t felt something this good in- maybe ever, and all you’re able to do is tug on his hair, moan loudly, and rut your hips against his face while you feel him tingling through every fiber of your being.

Seungcheol works you through your entire orgasm and then some, until your legs feel like jelly from being tensed, and you can hardly breathe correctly. Then, he pulls away from you slowly, pressing kisses along your inner thigh-

You open your eyes to look down at him, and you’re met with a visual that has you getting wet all over again. 

The gorgeous man between your legs, wipes his thumb across his lower lip, collecting what’s there and slipping it into his mouth, releasing a groan that has you practically twitching- 

His pupils are blown with interest, and he’s breathing just as heavily as you are.

He stands up, towering over you once more.

Seungcheol swallows thickly, running a hand through his hair. “I’m guessing from the way you checked off cum play and breeding kink that you’re on some sort of contraceptive?”

You release a small laugh- no man has ever used the word contraceptive in the bedroom with you before. Cheol is so sexy with his fancy words-

“Hey,” he gently taps your inner thigh again, “are you alright?”

“Yes, I-” you take a breath, “sorry, I’m just-” you can’t help but reach for him, making something like grabby hands in the air.

“I’ll give you a second to come down a bit more,” he concedes, returning between your legs, holding himself just over your body while you attempt to latch onto him, ankles crossing behind his back to lock him in- “You really haven’t been properly touched in a while,” he notes, brushing your hair out of your face and behind your ear. 

“No,” you agree, “I haven’t.” 

You cup his face, eager for his lips to be on yours, but he holds just out of your reach, grinning down at you. “Almost ready to answer my question?”

You nod, taking a breath before telling him, “I’m on the pill.”

“Lucky us,” Seungcheol says, bypassing your lips in favour of pressing a kiss to your neck, just above your fluttering pulse point. “How are you feeling?”

“Good,” you admit, letting out a deep sigh- “needy.”

Seungcheol releases a small groan, and he pushes his hips forward, teasing your bare core with the front of his dress pants- “Yeah?” 

“Please-” you tug gently at his hair, “stop teasing me.”

“Just trying to let you take a breath,” he retorts.

“I don’t want to breathe,” you say stubbornly, “I want you.” 

He lets out a chuckle, and you find yourself wanting to prove how much you want him. 

There’s no way in hell that you’ll be able to dominate Seungcheol, he’s as sturdy as a bear laying on top of you, but when you push at his shoulders, he relents, allowing you to roll him onto his back so you’re now the one on top.

He blinks up at you, lips parting-

“Didn’t expect this, did you, daddy?” you ask, placing your palms flat on his chest while adjusting the way you’re seated, capturing his cock between your bodies-

Seungcheol sits up abruptly- and you almost think he’s going to say something, but instead, he presses his lips to yours, capturing the nape of your neck with his hand so you can’t move away. 

His kiss is hungry, tongue gliding past your own and earning a mewl of pleasure- your hips rock slightly, and you’re immediately aggrieved to be reminded that he still has pants on.

“Want you naked,” you tell him between kisses, “want to taste you-”

Now it’s his turn to let out a groan of eager delight, and he lets go of his hold on your neck, pulling away from your lips to look you in the eyes while he grabs a fistful of your hair, tugging ever so slightly to have your head arching back- “You sure about that?”

“God, yes-” you moan, licking your lips-

“Then go ahead, angel,” Seungcheol says, releasing you. “Do whatever your heart desires, and if you get tired, let daddy know so he can take over again.”

You’ve never been wetter in your life. Nor have you ever shimmied down a man’s body and wrestled with his pants so quick, but with Seungcheol, that’s precisely what you do, and within no time at all, you have your mouth wrapped around the head of his cock.

He’s girthy- and you can just imagine how good the stretch of him is going to feel- 

You’re practically drooling on him, bobbing your head up and down while he pushes your hair out of your face, releasing a groan and a “that’s it, angel” that eggs you on even more.

You’re aware that you don’t want to make him cum like this- this is just you returning the favour before riding him- 

God, you want to ride him so bad- like you’ve never wanted to ride any man in your whole entire life.

“Fuck-” 

It’s the first swearword you’ve ever heard come out of Seungcheol’s mouth, and it goes straight to your pussy, which clenches around nothing, your mouth slipping down far enough on his cock that you choke-

“Careful, darling,” the hand in your hair tugs you off his cock, and you take a gasp of air, sneaking a glance up at the man who has you going feral-

“I wanna ride you.”

“Like I said, do whatever your heart desires,” comes his almost casual response-

This man is going to be the death of you.

Death by psychologist cock.

Before you can even think a coherent sentence, you’re straddling Seungcheol’s hips, adjusting his cock to fit snuggly against your core, and sinking down on him, filling yourself inch by delicious inch until you’re sat atop him like a queen on her throne.

His hands find your waist, and you both release sounds of pleasure, your eyes closing to enjoy the feeling of being perfectly full for just a moment before you begin to move-

“Feels good, huh?” he prompts, squeezing your hips gently.

“Feels fucking fantastic,” you tell him- swear words be damned.

Your hands find his strong chest, and you lean over him, connecting your lips while you take a test thrust, bouncing just slightly on his cock-

The feeling is enough to have you both groaning into each other’s mouths, Seungcheol cupping the side of your face while he gently bites at your lower lip-

You’re not used to being on top- and it feels obvious in the shallow way you’re riding him, too distracted in kissing to give either motion your full attention-

But that doesn’t matter, because Seungcheol is rutting up to meet you, matching your slow pace and helping you find a steady rhythm with the hand still on your hip, guiding you as you begin to bounce.

It feels like heaven to be fucking Choi Seungcheol- feels like nothing you could have ever imagined. 

You find yourself getting lost in him, working on autopilot with one destination in mind: orgasmic pleasure, and with each thrust of his hips to meet you, he helps you get closer.

“Fuck, Cheol-” you groan, tearing your lips from his to take a breath, burying your face against his neck while your thighs burn from effort- “Daddy, please- please, fuck me-”

That’s all you need to say to get him to take over, flipping you onto your back so he can regain the top position. He captures your hands, raising them over your head where he can lock your wrists together in his strong grip, then his free digits slip between your bodies, seeking out your clit-

“Oh my god,” you moan, eyes closing as you’re overwhelmed in the sensation of him-

“Close already, sweetheart?” he questions, letting out a smug, sexy, little chuckle. “Feels that good?”

“Yes- feels so good,” you tell him, ready to say anything he wants you to if it means he fucks you harder-

His fingers draw small quick circles on your clit, and your legs twitch where they’re wrapped around his waist.

“I’ve hardly even fucked you- you can hold it a little longer, can’t you darling?” he prompts, nosing at your cheek. “For me?”

“I can-” you groan as he fucks you harder, “I can try- but- my clit-”

“Is this making it difficult for you?” Seungcheol smiles, relenting ever so slightly and then removing his hand all together in favour of wrapping it around your throat. “There, is that better?”

He squeezes your airway, and you’re simply unable to speak, unable to do anything but moan like a whore in heat while he fucks you closer and closer to an orgasm you’re desperately trying to hold off for him-

“You feel-” he lets out a groan, “unbelievable.”

No, he feels unbelievable, and you can’t even touch him with your hands still pinned- 

You think if you could graze your fingers across his strong shoulders you’d cum instantly, so maybe it’s a good thing he has your wrists in his grasp-

“I think I want you to cum now,” he decides, and you’re thankful- only for him to release your throat and rub your clit, which has you whining loudly all over again- “You’ll cum with me, right?”

“God, daddy- yes!” you whimper- the coil in your stomach clenching as tightly as ever-

Then he releases your wrists, anchoring a hand against your abdomen to keep you down while he works you over the edge- and your own fingers immediately seek out the shoulders that have you dizzy with lust, core clamping down on his cock as you’re high hits you full force.

“Cheol-” you whimper, delighted by the way he immediately presses his lips to yours, eagerly eating up your sounds of pleasure and returning them with grunts and groans of his own while fucking you through one of the best orgasms of your entire life.

His tongue dances by yours, teeth teasing past your lip-

Your fingers are in his hair and you can feel him practically everywhere, your entire body alight with wonderful sensations of bliss-

It starts to slow too soon, but every up must have a down, and as his hips lose pace and your sounds lessen, you realize you’re truly, madly, deeply in love with Choi Seungcheol.

And you’ve known him for less than a week.

8: Wednesday

“Are you settling in okay?” Bora’s voice pulls you away from your daydreaming, and you tear your eyes off of Seungcheol to focus on the woman whose house you’ve been enjoying for much of the evening.

She’d been introduced to you as Seungcheol’s colleague’s wife, and you’ve yet to get any one on one with the very pregnant hostess, whose husband, Mingyu, has been circling her like a puppy this entire time. 

“Yes,” you respond, finding your voice, “you have a very easy home to settle into.”

“I appreciate that,” she smiles, taking the free seat on the sofa next to you, one hand settling over her protruding stomach in a maternal way that makes your heart soften. “I’ve been meaning to have a chat with you since you arrived, but both of us seem to have a plus one that’s attached at the hip.”

Now it’s her turn to look over at Seungcheol and Mingyu, who are huddled around another psychologist friend of theirs, Wonwoo, and his wife, their attention fixed on the youngest member of the housewarming party, a six-month-old baby named Yumi.

“I feel as if I’m the plus one,” you say.

“Don’t be modest,” Bora brushes it off with a smile, “Cheol has had his hand on the small of your back for most of the evening. As much as they like to pretend they’re big shot psychologists, we’re the crutches that get them through the evening.”

You take a moment to consider her words. 

This is the first event you’ve gone to with your new beau, and for much of it, you’ve been as intent to stick to Cheol’s side as he has been to yours.

“Trust me,” Bora continues, “give it a few minutes and they’ll migrate over here to be close to us.” She pauses, then, “Mingyu has to get used to being in the living room, a pregnant woman like me needs a good, comfortable seat.”

You both laugh at the way she touches her belly again, pushing it out and relaxing back on the sofa. 

“How far along are you?” you ask. 

Despite already having had dinner and discussion for an hour or two, much of the focus has been on the home and various publications that the four university friends have been working on, with Wonwoo’s wife Minji having arrived with Yumi only a short while ago. 

“Eight months,” Bora sighs, continuing to stroke her baby bump. “I’m just about ready to pop. But enough about me and my belly, you’ve hardly spoken about yourself- and Cheol is always so focused on work, I’ve yet to get many details out of him, other than the fact that you’re worth skipping book club for. Did you two have a hot date last night?”

Your skin heats with embarrassment- “I didn’t know he’d skipped book club for me-”

“It’s a loose arrangement, Tuesdays at seven, I’m only teasing you,” Bora leans over to nudge you with her shoulder, offering you a sweet smile. “How did you two meet?”

The nondisclosure agreement pops into your mind like a red warning sign. 

“Erm…” you swallow, “Cheol hasn’t told you?”

“Like I said, he’s very tight-lipped about it,” Bora explains. “But- I’ve never known Seungcheol to be a fan of changing his schedule- and the pearl necklace you’re wearing- the dress, your lovely nails- they all seem like gifts to me. Am I right?”

Her husband might be a psychologist, but Bora has just as much of a critical eye. She sees right through you.

“Fine, don’t tell me,” Bora waves your silence off, “I know I’m right. I’ll figure you two out.”