Charms Library📖

He should have just kept walking in the opposite direction. He was better off not knowing. He could have lived out the rest of his most likely short days on Earth in denial and blissful ignorance. Of coursethe pair were going to a bridal shop. Of course he would have the misfortune to watch them through the window and see a familiar redhead and break his own heart into smitherines as he saw them embrace. It was his Evans, trying on wedding dresses, and certainly not his anymore. 

She’d moved on. She’d found someone else. He should be happy for her. She’d escaped all this horror which is all he’d ever wanted for her. But he just couldn’t bring himself to feel anything other than despair. He must be masocistic to stand here and drink her in through the pane of glass separating them. Merlin she looked good. That much hadn’t changed. 

The group of women disappeared from view behind a rack of dresses. He should leave, find Sirius and drown his sorrows in a hearty amount of Ogden’s finest. He does. Minus the finding Sirius. 

*****

One bottle of Ogden’s becomes many over the span of days, weeks, and months that follow. Never on a mission. Always alone. Never enough to make him forget her face. He’s being pathetic. He knows this. That’s his justification for not telling Sirius about what he saw, for not telling anyone for that matter. They’d try to placate him and his feelings, tip-toe around him and his pain, or worse condem her for what? The audacity to be happy with someone else. 

Someone else. That’s what has him in this funk he can’t seem to drag himself out of despite the passage of time. Out there somewhere is a him that’s not him. But that verison of him is hers, and that’s the sticking point. Would a name and a face make things easier or worse? The Ogden’s riddled part of his brain answers that question for him. There’s only one way to find out. 

James dones the cloak and does what he does best for the Order - Breaking and Entering. Except he doesn’t break anything. Muggle locks aren’t very secure, a simply charm is all that’s required. Evans had been brilliant at charms. 

He rummages through filing cabinets until he finds what he’s been looking for. The receipt for the dress purchased on the day and all the sordid details he shouldn’t read but can’t stop himself. Her measurements, the delivery address, the date and destination of the wedding. All there in black and white. . 

The knowledge of the name does him no better. The surname attached to Evans isn’t Potter. 

*****

He’s definitely gone mental this time. But he’s a man possessed and he just needs to get the words out. The regret is eating him alive. If he doesn’t say it James is fairly certain his silence will be his death. So he buys a suit, let’s the tailor fix his bow tie. If you have to be seen, looking like you belong and blending in were mission critical. Wise words from Alastor Moody, who never would have thought James would be putting them to use like this. 

James slips down the corridor to the bridal suite like he has every right to be there. He knocks on the door with a trembling fist. His heart might give out on him before he gets the word out. She’s beautiful. Breathtaking. Her red locks pinned up perfectly in place. Thank Merlin she’s not in her dress yet. The bathrobe tied tightly around her waste. 

“James.” His own name an exhale of breath but music to his ears. “You… You can’t be here.”

“I know. I’m sorry but I had to-” he pushes past her, forces his way in. 

There’s giggling coming from somewhere deeper in the suite. Bridesmaids no doubt. He doesn’t have much time. 

“You can’t marry him. Dursely. I’m sure he’s a top bloke but he’s not the man for you Evans.This isn’t fair, I know. I ended things. I pushed you away-”

“James-”

“I’m sorry that I love you! I tried not to, but-”

“JAMES!” She raises her voice. It’s not a shout, it’s hissed through clenched teeth. However it’s an admonishment all the same. “If my sister catches you in here she’ll murder you and then me. For fuck’s sake, James.”

“Lily, I-” The frog in his throat finally catches and his words can’t come out.

“I’m not getting married!”

His heart stops. 

“You’re not?” Dare he hope?

“Of course not you pillock! Do I look like I’m getting married?!” She gestures wildly at herself. He notices for the first time the hem of lilac pocking out from under the bathrobe. 

“You’re a bridesmaid,” he says dumbly. 

“I can’t believe. After everything we went through. You thought I’d swan off and get married. To Vernon Dursely of all people,” Lily spits the name like its diseased. “You complete and utter-”

James kisses her. A cupping her face in his hands and pouring his soul into her sort of kiss. Which might be the best or the worst way to shut her up, but at this moment he doesn’t care and he can’t express his delight any other way. She doesn’t immediately pull away and slap him. He takes that as a good sign. She tastes salty. He pulls back but keeps her cradled inches from his face. Tears he realises, are spilling down both their cheeks. Her make-up is ruined - nothing a quick glammer charm couldn’t fix. 

“I never stopped loving you,” she croaks. “But I could kill you.”