DARK VENGEANCE!

“Oh, but that is a shame.” The smile didn’t leave Joker’s face, despite her negative response. One hand slipped into his coat and he took out a little candle, striped with green and purple, obscenely bright against the pie as he placed it right in the center. A simple rub of the wick ignited it, and as he stepped back, he tipped his hat to her. “I’m afraid your poor customer service will backfire!” He cracked his hands in a clap in front of her face, still grinning, and swiftly, he unlocked the door and left the way he came.

“Come again.” Sh mumbled, sarcastically. Charlie watched as he placed the candle in the pie, flinching as he clapped in her face. “Backfire?” Charlie stared at candle ass he left, eyebrows furrowing. It took her a split second to realize what was happened, before she stupidly dove on top of of the bomb, and bounced. The only thing left in the diner was a puff of pink smoke. 

The only bad thing about bouncing to ‘the middle of no where’ was that she had no idea where she was because she wasn’t specific.  She chucked the plate away the second she landed. The blast went off, and Charlie immediately bounced again, yelling as she felt searing pain from the blast. But that wouldn’t stay for long-- thank god for healing. 

Charlie stood on a roof top in Star City, looking over the edge. She was fine, her clothes were mildly charred, but the whatever wounds the blast would have caused were gone. B But this was bad. She had panicked. No doubt the joker had been expecting a blast in that diner that would have killed her and likely others around. But the diner wasn’t wrecked and she was no where to be seen. 

“Ah, of course, you must forgive my manners, my dear.” In a sharp instant, the eerie menace had disappeared into a demeanor that could only be described as chivalrous. He spread his hands and smiled at her undeniable charisma; even the knife in his hand no longer seemed ominous. “Well, then you must make another! Fresh ingredients! Certainly you take pride in your work, hm? I would expect nothing less!”

The chivalrous demeanor made it creepier, considering he had been threatening her like two seconds ago. Charlie stared at him in disbelief, and she realized that no matter what she did, she was fucked. She didn’t have the means to make another apple pie-- tomorrow was chocolate cake day, anyway- and she wasn’t about to tell him to come back tomorrow. So instead, she grabbed the remaining slice, served it on a plate. “I can’t. We’re closed and I’m not supposed to be cooking. But you can have this slice, if you want it.”

Zach waited smugly until she got what he said and chuckled a little when the penny dropped, at her words he only gave her an amused look and waited a moment before speaking. “Hmm… I could you know, it would only take about oh… half a sentence and they’d be up in flames.” He stared at her and opened opened his mouth only to pause a moment later, “You can relax, My Little Intruder, I tend not to set people on fire unless they really piss me off.” he laughed a little at her, “Sure it does. You’re older than me and thus in my eyes, you’ll always be old.” he told her easily. “Sucks to be you, getting drunk is great.”

Zach knew he wasn’t wrong, and over the few short years he’d been alive he’d come to firmly believe the world was beyond saving. So he might as well make the best of it for himself while he could. After all, it wasn’t like anyone else was going to help him. “Karma is just one more aspect of the universe’s balance. The world isn’t good or evil it’s just indifferent. Sometimes that can be even worse to have to deal with.” He raised an eyebrow at her, “I shouldn’t think you could, my coasters are awesome. And besides, if I wanted dogs to cheer me up, I’d just open a door to a dog shelter.” Which he totally hadn’t done after a particularly awful club performance in his early years. “Well, it’s a lot more simple than your version, but it’s pretty good in my opinion.” He paused for a moment, thinking up the building and nodding once he twigged where she meant, “Such, that’s easy enough.” he cleared his throat, “rooD ot neeuQ synapmoC potfoor.” he cast, a wooden door appeared behind the sofa and he nodded to it, “There you go.”

Zach didn’t speak for a moment, “Being poor really sucks.” But then, people could be poor in lots of ways, they could be materialistically poor, emotionally poor… He knew very well which he’d been and didn’t like thinking back over it very much. “I’d be happy to have a pineapple sunday but I don’t wanna see that fruit anywhere near any kind of melted cheese.” he made a face, “Yuck.”

“Well it’s probably a good thing I haven’t managed to make you see red yet, huh?” Charlie made a face at him. She didn’t usually get along with people decently the first time they met. She was loud, abrasive, and could be quite hyperactive.... But Zach hadn’t seemed ready to kick her ass out yet so that was a good sign. “Are you usually this nice to people who break into your apartment... Well, accidentally break into you apartment via teleportation? I bet I could get drunk if I drank a lot of alcohol at once-- well, I mean, a lot of alcohol at once. People find it hard to drug me, too. And you’re 18. Do you make it a habit to get plastered or something?” 

“I like dogs a lot--” Charlie said, purposely changing the subject. This wasn’t the time to be having meaningful discussion about the universe. “I used to have one, when I was little. The unfortunate victim of her having found out she couldn’t take living things made her stay away from having pets or holding babies...... “But my apartment doesn’t allow pets. I guess I cold get a fish if I wanted too.” Charlie stared at the door he created, her head tilting. “Whoa, is that real???” She cautiously sat up on her knees to lean over the sofa to open it. “Holy crap it did work!!” She said excitedly shutting the door, opening it again to check if it was still ther. She turned, sitting her butt back down on the couch. “That’s Cool!”

Her face sobered slightly. “It has it’s moments. I’m used to it.” She shrugged slightly. She wasn’t the type to ask for handouts-- her mother taught her long before she died that nothing ever came for free. Except pizza, apparently. “I dunno, even with ice cream the pineapple just doesn’t.... Yeeck. I just hate pineapple.”

Shaking his head, he casually approached where she stood behind the display, almost seeming like a normal, browsing customer, and as if there were nothing disconcerting about the situation at all. “Certainly not that!” Using the knife, Joker gestured to the lone slice with obvious distaste. “Apple. I see it right here on your menu.” With a smooth, oddly fluid gesture, he’d picked up he menu and turned it over, sliding it between them on the counter and tapping the item with the shining tip of his knife. “Right there. Now scoodle-oo!”

Theoretically, she could disappear into the kitchen, and teleport away. That would cause some confusion but who knows what he would do left loose in the diner. At the very least, Charlie thought, if he hurt her, she would heal. That wasn’t as comforting as she had hoped it been, as  Charlie tried to gauge the situation with the raw fear bubbling in her stomach. “That’s the only slice of apple pie we have,” she objected. “You should have come in earlier.” Stupid. Don’t contradict him. Charlie was eyeing the knife as she slowly went to set out hte one peace of pie she had left.

“Let’s get you home, you silly little thing.” Okay, she really, really was a cat person, and luckily the feline didn’t struggle as she cradled it in her arms and began heading in the direction Charlie indicated. Zatanna’s brow furrowed slightly- she was instantly worried. “Attacked you? And you’re still alright?” Worried, she gave her a quick once over, but couldn’t spot any signs of injury. Charlie must have gotten through it unharmed. “I thought so too. It really fits her; she’s a total diva.” The tiger was the pickier star of the two, really. “Oh– awkward.” Her nose wrinkled up a little as she frowned sympathetically. “I’m usually pretty precise with my teleportation spells, but I have been drunk and chosen bad places to show up at, if that counts. Does it take a lot of focus?” It had to have, if missing was possible.  “Only the US for this next season, though I’ve done other countries in the past as well. I don’t want to go too far in case…” Something happened here. She trailed off with a ague hand gesture. “I can get you free tickets, if you want?”

Charlie giggled as Zatanna cooed at the cat. “Okay, maybe she’s not that bad.” Charlie’s smile faltered at the next bit. “Uh-- well, I heal quickly. Nothing to worry about.... But here are some people waving  guns around and shooting people who are tying to help them. This whole mutant crisis is getting out of hand...” She frowned slightly, but she smiled. “That’s okay, I bet she still loves it. “ Her nose wrinkled. “Yeah- I don’t usually have that bad of trouble, and can do it without a second blink but... I was exhausted. And hungry. He wasn’t that bad, though.” But her eyes widened. “You would give me free tickets???  Really? That’d be so cool!”

“I dunno if that’s really any better..” Bucky frowns over at the waitress, a little concerned. Sure, that’s probably pretty standard for college kids, but he’d like to think they take his class a little more seriously than that. Though, doesn’t everyone? “Fredrickson? He’s fine, he complains about his students more than I do.” Bucky chuckles and crosses off a few more things on the paper, shaking his head. “I haven’t been here all that long, s’probably why. Teaching english literature. What’re you studying?”

“I do know what the word means nowadays.” He didn’t seem fazed by her teleporting, though he was actually very intrigued by what she could do. Jason pointed his gun behind him and shot between her legs easily. Jason shrugged once. “I just don’t care what it means, I just like the sound. Why don’t you let me live my life and scram?”

“Wah!” Charlie’s shrill shriek bounced off the walls off the alley way and she once again disappeared, reappearing on his other side. “Don’t shoot at me again!” Hands up in the surrender position, she had the worst scowl on her face. If looks could kill he’d probably be pretty uncomfortable right about now. “Yeesh, I didn’t even mess anything up for you! I was just asking what you were doing and why you were going to go kill someone who shouldn’t be me because I don’t think you go around shooting random-ass people! God! You’re mean!” 

“That’s what I said when I started the semester.” Bucky groans, rubbing at his eyes absently. He could probably use a decent night’s sleep, hell it might even make him go a little easier when he’s grading these papers but he can’t afford a night off just yet. “It’s not even as much as what they’re writing about, they just.. can’t seem to grasp how to write to begin with. It’s a mess.” He frowns and glances over at the waitress. “Sorry. Don’t mean to make a scene.”

Zach paused a moment, he lent a little bit closer to her, stared intently into her eyes, usually that had some effect on a person. After a moment he smirked, “Liar.”  was all he said, leaning back in his chair and grabbing another slice of pizza. “You’re older than me, so you’re old.” he chuckled, “18 actually, legal drinking age in the UK, makes me pine for London.” he did miss drinking in pubs.

“That’s better. Pronunciation is everything.” Especially in his line of power, one mispronounced word and he could end up one causing a lot of problems. “Sure you do.” he shrugged, “Instead you make the most of what you can and hang the rest.” He couldn’t get anywhere near Zatanna via the hero route anymore, so he’d taken the fame route instead and it was finally working out. “And that’s the balance of the world. The balance of everything. For all the people born to luck, an equal amount are born to misfortune.” The first book on real magic he’d ever got had talked about the balance. “And I find a great deal of joy in my crystal coasters because I worked my ass off to get them and everything else here.” he blinked at her, “Pick a place you want to go and I’ll show you.” he smirked, “I prefer purple, that’s the colour of magic. Or my magic anyway.”

He shrugged, “Well, you’re certainly on that end of the spectrum. But I was there once, I get it.” And he was never going back. Friede, satisfied she’d had her treat, flew off to her perch, “Pineapple? Ugh, heathens.” he said with utter distaste. “If I ever see that topping anything I have to eat that isn’t a dessert bad things will happen.”

Chalie blinked, staring at him confused as he leaned forward. “Do I have something in my--- oh. Pfft.” Charlie laughed at him, shaking her head. “Nuh-uh, my pants are not on fire!” She stuck her tongue out playfully, before she paused. “Wait, please don’t set my pants on fire actually, these are my nice jeans!  And, like, I may heal really fast, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” She mad a face. “Being old just means that I’m more mature than you. I can go to London whenever I want to drink... but well...” Charlie scratched her nose. “I have a hard time getting drunk...” 

She did pause to consider his words. She supposed he wasn’t wrong, though wasn’t that the point of heroes? To make thinks a little more fairer for everyone. It wasn’t fair when someone got mugged or murdered or anything like that, but... “Well, I guess that’s what they call karma huh? And karma can be a real bitch sometimes....” She trailed off, before giving him a shrug. “Hey now, I’m not knocking your coasters, I’m just saying I like mine better. No offense.” She grinned, before looking surprised. “Pick a place? Like... Wait, is this door thing like teleportation? You can do your own bouncing! Cool!” Charlie said, excitedly. “You’re just missing the pink... er... purple smoke. Can I still see, though? Even though I believe you? Let’s go.... OH! You know the top of the really tall glass building in Star City? Probably the tallest building--- I forget which company it is. But the view up there is super cool this time a night. It’s, like, so worth it. Sometimes I do my homework up there. Oh, it might be the Queen company...”

Charlie paused again. “Ah, well, it’s no skin off my back, I guess. Now I see just how hard my mom had it though, ya know? And she had a kid to raise. I dunno how she afforded all that shit she got me when I was little.” Well, yes she did, but she didn’t need to go into that with Zach. But she nodded approvingly. “Aaaaagreed. I hate pineapple in general, to be honest, but it on pizza makes it like, a million kajillion times worse!”

He rose an eyebrow, “I’ve gotten through conversations with showbiz agents since I was fourteen, you really think I can’t spot when someone’s lying?” he asked lightly, he loved pulling that line. “Aww, you’re old.” he chuckled, “Ugh, I heard the ‘k’ in that, pronounce things right or not at little, little intruder.” He smirked, “Uh huh.”

He blinked slowly, “And I think the world is wrong, that’s not gonna change anything just like your opinion on the hero ban isn’t gonna change anything.” He was pretty cynical when it came to these things, “When stuff breaks I can fix it with half a sentence, so I don’t tend to worry about stuff like that.” he grinned, “I know right, cut with a laser for the most perfect angles and they catch the sunlight great first thing in the morning.” He didn’t see it often though, he was rarely up first thing in the morning. “I’ll take laser cut crystal over puppy pictures thanks.” he took another bite of his pizza and nodded, “Yup, that and doors were the first spells I mastered, saved a bunch when I was starting out.” He shrugged at her question, “I dunno, I’ve tried researching it but it’s hard to find real tomes on magic.” Even when his last name was Zatara, the magical markets rarely traded in money, they preferred a more barter-like system. “He’s not called the man of steel for nothing y’know, he can handle that crap.” he smirked, “Yea, but you’d be a hit at a pride parade.”

“Hmm, for now at least. Perhaps in the distant further when you own the wonder that is a bred frame, you could get the cheapest ticket.” he chuckled, “I got Friede when I was thirteen, she’d been on every tour with me.” His animals were his friends, he didn’t do so good with people in the long term. “I don’t, but some people do.” he shrugged, “I don’t think she’d like them.” He nodded before speaking as though he were imparting great wisdom, “You can never have too much cheese on a pizza.”

“I never lie!” Charlie immediately boasted, even though that was, in fact, a lie. “I’m a truth teller all th way.” She grinned, leaning back in her seat. This wasn’t all bad, even if Zach did have an inflated ego. “I’m not old, I’m 19. You’re what-- 15?” Charlie knew that wasn’t the case, and that she couldn’t talk ecause most people thought she was that age, but she still grinned. “My bad, my bad Zach. Yeesh.”

Her head tilted. “No, it might not,” she agreed. “But that doesn’t mean you just stop fighting for what you think is right, ya know? And there are a lot of people that agree with me... I just feel bad for all the metahumans and mutants out there, ya know? Most’em didn’t do anything bad to deserve this kind of treatment.” And not a lot of them were heroes either. They were just people trying to live. “Well, I like my cheap puppy coasters, they give me joy any time of day.” She teased, laughing. “But that really is super interesting... I don’t know much about magic at all... What do you mean doors?” SHe looked at him, before rolling her eyes. “Well, pink is one of the best colors. I just never figured out why it does that.”

Charlie let out a snort. “Don’t make it sound like I’m dirt poor, jeez. I have some money.” She giggled slightly, slightly satisfied that he didn’t feed his bird eggs and that he was good to her. “I do agree with that-- but I gotta know. Pineapple on pizza or nah?” She took a bite out of her slice. At least this hadn’t ended up being a total disaster.