words are the only thing which last forever

little girl, you’re alive.

do you know that? you survived

you’re not in your hole anymore.

and you’re not little, furthermore.

it’s just a phrase, and i’m waiting for

you to see that yourself.

you dug yourself out,

no longer do you need to shout

for help, because now, you are walking.

my love, you deserve

more.

you think you’re worth

nothing, but i see that you’ve grown.

how can i show you that how you’re living

isn’t winning,

you’re just forgiving

your mistakes without taking a step forward.

little girl, who’s not so little,

remember, you’re in the middle

of a time that should be yours.

it’s up to you to decide

if it’s worth it to fly,

for you deserve better than this.

that’s all i can say.

for you to see this, i just pray.

i want to have something to show off that makes it clear that i’m really living to the fullest.

but there's so many other people out there, that our individual lives can't mean anything, right? i mean we're one in seven billion. how could that be of importance?

but we humans—we always find a way to ruin it.

but it can also be a bad thing. cause if i’m in a bad mental place, then that’s when the world consumes me like i’m it’s own. when no one is there to help me. when i can just sit in my thoughts and ponder away.

isn't the world so beautiful? isn't it just absolutely wonderful? isn't life amazing?

how we all live our own, how each of us is unique. i think it's absolutely splendid, and i hate to think i forget this so often.

sometimes, the uncomfortable taste of shame sits in my mouth when i think of my life, of things i've done, of who i used to be.

but that's not what life is about, no isn't it? it's about enjoying the little comforts. the tiny smiles that pop in here and there.

it's about the pretty sights, the pretty pictures, the pretty things that were meant for us to revel in.

it's about soft sweetness that comes from hugging a loved one. it's about the peace and satisfaction when that one is yourself.

life is so good. and it makes me smile. so much, that sometimes,

even though i should've seen this coming,

for it happens again and again and yet—i haven't learned to run.

the light from before cannot save me now—she's long gone by the time i need her help.

why don't you get it? i just can't do it. there's too much pain.

oh, but why is it so painful?

i can't, i just can't, submit myself to the unknown,

the darkness. who knows what's hiding

funny how the light of the day makes me

forget—i always forget—

why don't i sleep then, you may ask.

sleep—it brings rest. but it also brings

the next day, closer

than it is while i'm awake.

as long as i'm awake,

it's still today, and tomorrow is far away.

the second i decide to fall asleep is a second closer

that tomorrow will become today.

-

oh the aches and the pain

how hurt she must be

to astutely feel her body, exhausted and in need of rest,

yet choose

to stay

my freshly broken heart thought she was healed.

a strong one, she's had to endure much pain.

just mended, I tried to open her up again,

thinking she could do it, that I could handle.

-

so we poured water over the wound,

for the sake of another,

believing she was ready.

-

but I soon found my tears flowed too freely

for me to be freed.

-

"they say we are asleep until we fall in love"