Puella Pluviam

Yay for Mondays!

The night was cold. Her body trembled. She looked up to see if there were stars visible. 

Nothing.

Darkness. 

She inhaled deeply and hugged herself. Tears started to fall in her dark eyes. She felt empty. She felt numb. 

She wiped the stupid tears. Deep breath. She turned her back and walked away. 

Farther.

Farther.

The wind was slapping her.

It was painful. It was foolish. Cursed heart. 

Death would be welcome.

But no.

I love the rain. I love it even more when it rains on summer days. It gives me comfort. Those

pitter-patter on the rooftop,

the plants becoming alive looking so green,

the wind so cool it freezes my heart for a moment,

the temptation to stand underneath the raindrops and feel them on my skin.

I am a romantic at heart. I dream of prince charmings and happy endings. I dream of sweet kisses and gentle hugs. I yearn for a love like what my parents have. A love that no words are needed to show how they feel. Everything is in the eyes, the body language, the rhythm of the heart. I imagine love

to be soft like fluffy clouds,

to be colorful like the rainbow,

to be beautiful like the sunset,

to be warm like the first rays of light in the morning,

to be comforting like the summer rain,

to be gentle like a cool breeze by the sea.

I imagine love to be the best feeling I could ever feel. The feeling that makes me giddy and excited and giggling like child. I imagine love as the only thing that could show me what eternity is like and what forever means.

 It is lovely. Love is perfect not until reality comes barging in. Everyone knows what this means. What reality means. Everyone knows that in reality love is not as lovely and perfect as it seems. For one to endure love is a great feat. 

I am 23 turning 24 soon. Just stating the fact first before everyone else make hasty judgement on my real state of mind. At this age no one would expect that I am still (and forever will be) a die hard fan of K-pop (especially SNSD and CNBlue and 2NE1 and...ugh! the list will be verrrry long) . So there, I am a 23 turning 24 year old K-pop fanatic and it will stay that way for as long as I am breathing the air here on Earth. I don't know why but I feel nostalgic over the fact that ever since I have discovered this weird addiction of mine about 7 years ago I have never let go of it. I have clung to its magnetic force and it has ever since consumed my soul. I am still a freshmen college student back then fangirling over Super Junior, which is the first K-pop boy group I have ever known. I could still vividly remember how me and my precious dorm mates would stifle our screams as we watched over MV's (music videos) that would steal our breath away with their anime-like  appearance and sexy pelvic thrust dance moves or else we would be given an earful warning by the dorm staff for being a topnotch peace destroyer. While most of our dorm mates would bury their head on thick books for academic excellence we would also be burying our heads on our laptops for our own entertainment excellence. We would be dreaming of going to South Korea just to see our idols or we would imagine to no end scenarios where we will be transported into a K-pop drama worthy plots of being "harassed" by our idols. It is not in a perverted way at all or maybe a bit perverted for a "kilig" factor (hehe). Just those typical scenes where a superstar would fall in love to a nobody and be a you-and-me-against-the-world lovers. Isn't it nice to daydream? I know die hard fans out there can totally relate to this. 

Anyway, I remember one funny memory of being a die hard fan. It is a bit embarrassing but who cares I am not alone in this kind of drama. I was 17 that time and was "forced" into joining a school dance competition sponsored by the school's performing dance organization. I am not much of a dancer really except in those days where I "occasionally" drink a "little" and just let it go. All in. (Gosh, don't laugh) I remember that I am half in-love with Super Junior's maknae (youngest) Cho Kyuhyun. He was really cute in my eyes that time. Well, one of my friends told me seconds before our performance that "my boy" has a rumored girlfriend already. I felt that my heart was really broken to pieces more than the time when my short lived relationship ended. I didn't even shed a single tear on that one but with "my virtual boy" having a girlfriend?! I just died a thousand deaths that night. I cried like I was the jilted lover. Lame right? But who could blame my K-popped heart? Even though it was down smack stupid but hey we won the competition anyway (just sayin' *grin*). I danced my heart out on that "hip-hoppy" beat even though I may have looked like a dancing shrimp on a heated pan but that teeny tiny info burned all my inhibitions. "I don't care because "my boyfriend and he doesn't even know has a rumored girlfriend already!". I'm such a fool. (LOL)