Your actual father

This is a common misconception! As the English usually kill their host, we’re actually parasitoids not true parasites!

now this is a correction i’ll stand for

I’M CRYING WHO IS HE

my favorite haunted house experience was when a werewolf, after growling in our faces and effectively freaking out my siblings, stepped on my shoe and he said, in the softest voice imaginable, “oh sorry”

in close second is the time there were strings hanging from the ceiling and my glasses got caught and this guy who was dressed up as a creepy victorian zombie or whatever stood there as i tried to untangle them while they were still on my face but it kept getting worse until he walked up to me, very carefully removed my glasses, untangled them, and handed them back to me, and then grunted like a zombie as i thanked him and moved on

this was in the same night btw

I really want some more recognition for poly relationships. This is a lovely post and a step in the right direction. Couples consisting of two people can be dysfunctional. It’s not just poly relationships.

I was walking in the forest during winter, and saw a wendigo sitting under a tree. I asked it if it was going to kill me. It said, “No, this is just a dream.” So I sat next to it in the snow for a bit and then he said, “The anger in your heart warms you now, but will leave you cold in your grave.” And then I woke up.

Well SOMEONE’S third eye is wide fucking open

THIS IS SO FUNNYVJBBVHNBF?????

some of monty python’s flying circus really doesn’t hold up that well in hindsight but the argument sketch? that’s fucking classic

🅱️apers, 🅱️lease

J⭕RJI go H⭕ME 😂💯👌

what was his name

oh no

WHAT WAS HIS NAME?

OH NO!

What was the cats name?

It can’t be that bad.

Okay it was that bad

unmute this now

when you can’t stop thinking of that one joke

staff banned female presenting nipples but not furry porn. amazing