you're a rohirric peasant arriving at helm's deep when you hear the future king of gondor miraculously survived his fall and there are 10.000 uruk-hai on their way to beat your ass. but it's fine, as the future king is kind, gives you hope and promises to fight by your side along with his dwarf friend and the otherworldly beauty of an elf who follows him around nagging him about his lackluster slumber habits. on the eve of battle you go to the castle's armory to be handed a sword, even tho you only know how to churn butter and look after the sheep, when suddenly the future king and the lovely elf start bickering in a different language. you assume it's a couple's quarrel, so you avert your gaze in modesty, until you hear the goddamn fucking king go "then i shall die as one of them!" before storming off. and you're left standing there like what. what the fuck? die?! what do you mean DIE as one of them?! what happened to HOPE? after everything you've been through and survived so far you're for sure going to DIE and this is how you find out? from the future king and his elven bombshell having a public lovers' spat?! man, fuck these guys!
