Alien slime with a Kanohi Hau

It’s important to have characters that people can look at and see that they’ve made a decision to be right. Now we have a lot of antiheroes, and I’ve played a lot of them, but there’s something to be said for the pure, unadulterated good guy.”

— Samuel L. Jackson on his character Mace Windu

Takanuva

I love bonkle, and I have since I was a small child

The soil testing equipment on Curiosity makes a buzzing noise and the pitch of the noise changes depending on what part of an experiment Curiosity is performing, this is the way Curiosity sings to itself.

So some of the finest minds currently alive decided to take incredibly expensive important scientific equipment and mess with it until they worked out how to move in just the right way to sing Happy Birthday, then someone made a cake on Curiosity’s birthday and took it into Mission control so that a room full of brilliant scientists and engineers could throw a birthday party for a non-autonomous robot 225 million kilometres away and listen to it sing the first ever song sung on Mars*, which was Happy Birthday.

This isn’t a sad story, this a happy story about the ridiculousness of humans and the way we love things. We built a little robot and called it Curiosity and flung it into the star to go and explore places we can’t get to because it’s name is in our nature and then just because we could, we taught it how to sing.

That’s not sad, that’s awesome.

TIME AND AGAIN I WARNED THE GOOD READERS OF THIS NEWSPAPER WHAT THE WALL-CRAWLER WOULD BRING TO OUR CITY. NOW WORD REACHES MY EARS THAT SPIDER-MAN IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CREATION OF THESE CONFOUNDED “MUTANT POWER INHIBITORS.”

IT DOESN’T TAKE A WELL-KNOWN MUTANT ACTIVIST LIKE MYSELF TO KNOW THAT THIS SPELLS TROUBLE, NOT ONLY FOR OUR MUTANT NEIGHBORS IN NYC, BUT FOR THE ENTIRE MUTANT COMMUNITY WORLD-WIDE!! HOW LONG WILL IT BE, I ASK OUR MASKED VIGILANTE MENACE, BEFORE SPIDER-MAN SELLS THE FREEDOM OF OUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER!!