pink sugar ☆ heart attack

white aesthetic pseudo-sj bloggers

that audience shot oh my word

Idol fans plz explain

So, in response for portraying a forever single virgin that can’t date, she savagely drags her “fans” who are more likely actual forever single virgins who will never get a date because they fantasize about getting with a highly fictionalized celebrity personality :v

like i get the sentiment but imo trying to pin down abusive behaviors into a bulleted list totally glosses over the complexity of abuse. and the tenor of some of those posts that try to “define” toxic/manipulative/abusive behaviors in super broad terms can be really anxiety-inducing for survivors who are already struggling to regulate and express their emotions in interpersonal relationships, who are already under enormous pressure to be some monolithic perfect model of saintly survivorhood. but anyway

people are entitled to cry. they are entitled to be scared or anxious, they deserve reassurance and care and support. no one is an island unto themselves and claiming that everyone needs to be in order to treat others well seems more like abuse and victim-shaming to me than asking a partner for support. but what’s more: abuse is more than just being a jerk. you can be mean without being abusive. you can be callous without being abusive. you can be overly needy without being abusive. you can have bad boundaries without being abusive. abuse isn’t a checklist, it’s an imbalanced situation in which one party is keeping the other in a state of constant fear for their own personal gain. abuse isn’t something done but rather something accomplished: it’s not like flicking a switch, it’s a situation built over time. oversimplifying abuse helps only abusers.

don’t even get me started on how bias, stigma, and bigotry on the part of medical professionals impacts diagnosis and treatment, which has been the center of both activism and academic study. I’m lucky to have the doctor i have, but most people don’t. So if you’re gonna act like “official” diagnoses are a unidirectional flow of knowledge, coming from an “expert” and bestowed upon those of us not “worthy” to be considered “experts” in our own experiences, at least acknowledge the power dynamics you are enacting when you do so. 

The hell that people raise about self-diagnosis on here should definitely be redirected into hellraising about the state of medicine in this country and how seriously financially debilitating it is trying to get your foot in the door for any treatment, much less reasonably priced treatment.

I saw this on Twitter and thought tumblr needed to see this.

White Witch - Mimura Kanako+

mgmn

Memories

Please only reblog if you are Black and/or Jewish. More stuff that shouldn’t need to be said… Lack of attention paid to anti-semitism in Social Justice spaces is not grounds to engage in anti-blackness nor is it grounds to engage in oppression olympics with black activists or their allies. Don’t treat these issues as zero sum. Don’t  make backhanded comments saying “this would get coverage if x-person was black.”  Asking people to address our issues does not require them to stop paying attention to other pressing issues, especially when black people are being murdered for being black on a daily basis. We should support them unequivocally. Further, we should not be specific in demanding allyship from black people as if it is somehow more their responsibility than it is those of white gentile allies who aren’t currently suffering from systematic oppression and have more power to make a difference on our behalf.  I understand the frustration. Believe me. I write about it all the time. But directing it against black activists is both counterproductive and morally wrong.  As has been pointed out repeatedly, hyper visibility is not a privilege. 

these are especially important questions to ask yourself if you consider yourself a feminist, since straight women’s homophobia usually targets and affects other women, especially lesbians, in particular.

sendai