XIII

I’m still not sure that people can change. I’ve done some shitty things in the past that I decided I’m not going to do anymore, but I’m still essentially the same person, and I know deep down that I’m still capable of doing those things. “Changing” is an active choice- it’s just deciding that you’re going to behave in a different way than you used to- but it doesn’t take back the bad things you’ve done before or negate those characteristics you have lying within you that you’re deciding to suppress. So just don’t forget that. Once you do something bad, like cheating, you can decide to never do it again, but you’re always going to be someone who was at one point capable of doing it. Once you do it, it’s a part of you, even if you never do it again. And that’s an opinion and you can feel differently about it, but there’s a difference between someone who’s never been able to cheat because they just didn’t have it in them to act so horribly, their moral compass just physically wouldn’t let them, and someone who possesses the ability to.

I plan on becoming the girl of my own dreams