plant era

this one goes out to me<3

something that’s really painful and isolating too is that because everyone was so hesitant and concerned about us, i feel like i can’t talk to anyone about it or tell anyone anything really. and that feels so lonely and also dangerous. but i know they’re all still watching like hawks and i can tell the people closest to me are starting to be wary and concerned and know something is going on. but i just keep blaming it on quitting cigarettes. i don’t think anyone is buying it. i feel very alone. and very untouched. i don’t think it’s supposed to be this way.

my desires are split in too many directions that i cannot bring together and i feel battered and torn and alone and i don’t really know who i am. i’m not sure i ever have.