amor fati

That's how long it had taken Robby to feel comfortable and confident enough to go to Jack's house when the man was on an EMT run. Jack had needed to mention his house quite a few times before it either clicked with Robby or turned into a valid option for him. The house was empty whenever Jack had a shift with the squad. So Robby could even turn his free days into a little fantasy session if he wanted to.

The notification lingered on his screen, and Jack swiped to open it, watching the little box in which he could see Robby go through his typical little ritual. Moving through his hallway toward the bed, Robby froze in the doorway. The hall camera caught the silhouette of his shuddering body before he finally decided to move inside, bee-lining for one of Jack's discarded clothes.

One of which Jack had ensured would be right there for Robby to grab and smell. Had even made sure he'd worn it during an especially heavy shift, leaving the fabric quite literally reeking of his scent. It was practically begging Robby to drag it into his face.

Jack watched the screen for three more seconds, his throat slowly going dry, before he slipped the phone back into his pocket. There was no on-call room today and no EMT shift either. Jack stepped out of his car, leaving it just around the block where he'd hidden it, and walked towards his townhouse.

When Jack unlocked the front door, he considered not staying quiet and making Robby shake with embarrassment the moment he stepped into view, but decided against it. Wanted to see the moment the illusion broke with his own two eyes.

He walked down the hallway with slow, deliberate steps, and when he reached the bedroom doorway, he leaned against the frame, crossing his arms in front of his chest. For a good moment, he just looked at what unfolded right in front of him.

Those soft, frantic noises as Robby fucked into his own hand, breathing and panting into the sweater Jack had left him, clearly already too far gone to notice the man looming in the door. Jack took a moment to really look at the man in front of him, feeling himself stir in his pants, hardening at the plethora of needy sounds spilling from Robby's lips.

"You know it's almost rude to do this in my bed and not to invite me, right?" His voice called out through the darkness, and immediately all those beautiful sounds died away, leaving nothing but panicked panting behind.

Robby froze in the middle of his bed, staring at him through the edges of his sweater, his eyes wide from the shock of having been caught. Gorgeous. It was an even more gorgeous sight than Jack would have imagined. He closed in on the bed, taking the time to sit at the foot of it, taking off his prosthetic — even if that made it easier for Robby to run, Jack was almost certain he wasn't going to.

"J-Jack," Robby choked out, his voice cracking. "It's not what- I- I'm sorry- I was just- I can explain!" It was nothing but pathetic rambling as Robby's brain tried to keep up with the situation, certainly still hazy from the tight grip he had on himself.

A grip Jack was sure to switch against his own soon enough.

"Shhh, it's okay. I know." Jack told him with a mischievous smirk. "There is no need to explain anything when I already know." With that, Jack turned to pull his phone out of his quickly tightening pocket and turned the screen to face Robby. The security app was still open, showing the live feed of his bedroom and their exact positions.

"You-" His best friend's voice was nothing but a whisper. A confused and uncertain whisper. "You knew? You set up a camera to catch me?"

"I set up a camera because someone was sneaking into my house, and since you lied to my face about it being you… I was worried." Jack turned to kneel on the edge of the mattress now, towering over Robby, looking down at the beautiful shape of him. All curled up and trying to hide that he still had his hand stuffed away in his pants. "And then I kept watching because I liked what I saw. Sat in the on-call room too many times jerking off to the sound of you moaning my name into my laundry."

Robby's mouth parted at the admission, a soft, breathless gasp leaving his lips. The panic of being discovered — and certainly that very own brand of Robby's personal shame that led him to keeping all of this quiet — was still there, but underneath it, the reality of Jack's words seemed to sink in.

"You think I left that sweater out by accident?" Jack was crawling closer, intentionally caging Robby against the headboard, removing any sense of escape for him. Instead of doing anything rash, though, he merely let his hand brush over Robby's temple, fingertips sliding into slightly damp strands. "I wanted you right here. Wanted you in my bed, touching yourself to the thought of me. The only difference is today you won't have to use your own hand."

"Jack…" Robby whimpered out, very clearly overwhelmed by the offer and the situation. To Jack's absolute delight. "Are you- Are you sure?"

"Dead serious, actually," Jack gave back without giving Robby the chance to retreat back into his head. Instead, he reached down into those sweats and let his fingers wrap firmly over Robby's trembling hand still resting around his length. He squeezed once, forcing a sharp whine from Robby's throat that was nothing but music to his ears. "No more running, Mike. Look at me."

When he did look, Jack was smiling. "Good. That's good, now let me show you what happens when you actually get what you want."

When Robby looked up, he could see Jack smile. Despite there being a soft edge to it, he had known his best friend's expression long enough to read this one. He was not going to get out of this unscathed.

"Good. That's good." Jack's voice was so low, the vibration sent a violent shiver straight down Michael's spine. "Now let me show you what happens when you actually get what you want."

Michael didn't even get a single second to breathe, let alone rebuild those walls Jack had successfully demolished within minutes. His hand, holding onto his leaking cock, was still wrapped by the other man's strong, large one. After a tight squeeze that made Michael gasp, Jack forced their combined grip down his length. Just once was enough.

The slick, electric friction had Michael's jaw go slack, his eyelids growing heavy. He'd already worked himself up quite a bit prior to being caught. But this? Being led by an unfamiliar yet well-known hand? Jack's hand felt much better than he could ever have imagined. A broken, helpless sound caught in his throat, a pathetic noise he'd spent weeks trying to muffle with stolen fabric.

"Let go, Mike," Jack muttered right into his ear, and Michael didn't need to open his eyes to see how very close his best friend had gotten. He could feel the hot breath fan against his ear and the combined sensation of the tight grip around his hand, Jack's proximity and the fact that there was no escaping the scent he used to get himself over the edge again and again these past weeks-

The way Jack's lips formed his name- his legal name caught him almost more off-guard than everything else. It rendered him powerless against the command, his fingers twitching and going limp as he let his arm slide out of his pants, gripping the sheets below him instead. Now, just like that, Jack smirked down at him. "Good boy~"

Jack moved with an easy and terrifyingly practiced grace when he shifted his weight, and Robby could feel his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird fighting the bars of its enclosure. Every muscle in Robby's body brace and a dizzying wave of heat crashed over him as Jack turned him onto his back, heavy thighs now bracketing his hips. Despite having pulled the sweater along with him, peeking over the fabric at Jack and still being very much dressed, he felt entirely exposed.

The reality of being pinned down- trapped beneath the sheer size of his best friend, Michael's mind spun, circling the fact that he wasn't dreaming this time around.

Michael could barely understand how it had happened. Where he'd been hiding his face in the sweater one second, too embarrassed to even look; the next, Jack's hands had yanked his sweats down, pinning his underwear at his ankles and swung Mike's legs over his broad shoulders. Shocked, Michael's eyes flew open almost instantly and he pulled the sweater from his face to be able to intervene. "W- Jack wait- you don't have to," he tried to find his footing with the request.

Hazel eyes snapped up and Jack raised a brow as he locked their gazes for an agonizing second without saying a single thing. Then he leaned down to drag his tongue all the way up Michael's length, starting from the very base. Michael's head slammed back into the sheets, his eyes shutting as a loud groan tore from his chest. Once he'd reached the tip — and coaxed a desperate, broken whimper from Michael — Jack took a deliberate deep breath, inhaling the musky scent of the groin before him. Much to the poor attending's shock. "I don't have to, but fuck do I want to."

Finally, the sweater got abandoned in favor of Michael's hands tangling themselves in salt-and-pepper curls, desperate for some form of anchor, as Jack parted his lips and slid his mouth over Michael's tip. It was a mistake to let out a shuddering gasp. The moment Michael parted his lips, Jack's head moved forward, swallowing his entire length in one deep, scorching push.

The sudden switch from hiding in the dark, jacking off to the faint thought of his best friend touching him to feeling said best friend's hot mouth all around him was, honestly, life-changing. Jack wasted no time, his head moving in a fast, steady rhythm on Michael's cock, almost too easily swallowing him whole. "Fuck- Jack-" Michael moaned out, his head spinning with wanton and hips helplessly rutting up into that tight wet mouth. "Jack, I can't-"

With the unforgiving pace Jack set and the filthy wet sounds of his mouth, Michael could feel his orgasm build up more and more, pooling right below his stomach. He couldn't hold back any longer. Not with how good Jack was making him feel, his tongue circling Michael's tip every time he lifted his head.

"Stop-" Michael's voice was almost hoarse from how hard it was to get the words out. "Jack, wait- I'm gonna- I can't-"

But Jack didn't stop. Instead, he only increased the pressure, hollowing his cheeks, locking Michael's hips against the mattress and refusing to let him back away.

In the end, it wasn't the relentless pace, the hot, tight friction of Jack's mouth around his cock or even the impossible reality of his fantasy coming true, that undid him. It was the fact that Jack looked up at him through long lashes, drool leaking past perfect lips and that well-known cocky gaze Jack sported whenever he dared to challenge Robby.

There was no escape; there was only his best friend taking what was rightfully his, and who was Michael to deny him that?

For so long, this exact scenario had been nothing but a fantasy, a shameful secret he dared to only visit when the darkness got too much to bear. Now, the reality of it hit him like a damn tidal wave.

Jack didn't even pull back when Michael's hips bucked against the mattress. Instead, he simply took the heavy, frantic bursts of white straight down his throat without any issue and swallowed every single drop of Michael's ruin.

Through the haze of his orgasm, Michael could feel the relentless, rhythmic suction milking his quickly softening length dry. Jack's grip on his hips remained tight, locking them to the mattress and grounding him through the sheer violence of his climax. It was everything Michael had ever dreamed of, delivered with a perfection that already made him jealous of whoever had experienced it before him.

When Jack's mouth finally slid off him, a filthy string of slick connected them, and Michael collapsed into the pillows like a rag-doll. All his strength had left him. His chest heaved as he panted through the exhaustion of his release, skin burning with the shame of what had happened. Michael was painted bright pink from the tips of his ears down to the base of his chest and he quickly threw a trembling arm over his eyes to hide from the intensity of Jack's smug grin.

The mattress shifted as Jack crawled back up, an all too familiar body heat immediately crowding him. Without a word, Jack pulled the arm away from his face again, forcing Michael to watch as he licked his lips clean with that exact grin he had tried to avoid looking at. Specifically, when it was hovering mere inches from his face. "See?" Jack's whisper fanned over Michael's face, the scent of Jack having mixed with the most intimate of his own, almost making him keen for more. "Much better than doing it alone."

Instead of coming up with a response that wouldn't sound like he just got his brain sucked out of him, Michael closed the distance between their faces as well as his eyes. Lifting his hand to slide slender fingers back into those gorgeous curls, Michael sighed into the kiss, holding on tight.

So much better than doing it alone.