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THIS WEEKEND I FINALLY READ YOUR AT YOUR SERVICE FIC AND OMFG IM SO FREAKING SAD I WILL NEVER READ THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN, SOMEBODY PLS SMACK ME IN THE HEAD UNTIL I GET AMNESIA!! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS, HOW DOES UR BRAIN WORK? I LOVE IT, THANK YOU FOR PEAK, AND ALSO, WHAT TYPE OF THINGS DOES SOMEONE WITH SUCH A GREAT WRITING, NARRATIVE AND DETAIL READ? DO U HAVE RECS? INSPOS? WHAT DRIVES UR ART ISTG UR A BLESSING
OH PLS THANK YOU SO MUCH FRIEND đâ€ïžâ€ïž and keep ur precious head unsmacked pls and thank u đ
what thoughtful questionsâŠ..well if iâm reading for pleasure, itâs going to be some truly shameful, unhinged smut. to be cringe is to be free!! iâll link a few below :-) i love how these authors think out of the box
and so i try to ask myself after a first draft âhow can i make this more diabolical????â â more depressing, more unhinged, more freakyâŠthereâs always a way to dial it up!! i still feel far from maximum freakâąïž but in time i hope to get thereâŠâŠ
for at your service this was the sunscreen bitâŠ.đ„”đ mwa ha haâŠ.
THIS BOOK IS NOT SAFE TO READ AT WORK. YOU'VE BEEN WARNâŠ
From New York Times bestselling author, Penelope DouglaâŠ
Violet is a typical, down-on-her-luck millennial: mid-tâŠ
chapter five â would your doctor kiss you like this?
âHe can give you careful. Safe. The kind of love that protects you. And I can give you this.â Sylus's hands flex where they hold you. âFire. Passion. Everything that makes you feel alive. Why does it have to be one or the other?â
synopsis: what begins as an intimate night with sylus ends with zayne caught in the aftermath.
The car Sylus sent is exactly what you expectedâsleek and black and expensive, the kind of vehicle that doesnât just transport you but makes a statement. The driver doesnât speak, just opens the door for you with polite efficiency and drives through Linkonâs traffic in silence.Â
Youâre grateful for the quiet. Your thoughts wonât stop yelling over each other, loud and messy, tangled up in everything youâre trying to avoid.
You passed by the envelope on the counter on your way out the door without meaning to. Half-buried under junk mail were two museum tickets, still untouched. Zayne must have printed them out. Wrote the time in the corner, even underlined it. He had planned for the two of you to go together tonight. Instead, he picked up an extra shift at the hospital and left after breakfast without a word.
You donât know if thatâs better or worse than a fight.
Youâre smoothing the hem of your dress with shaking fingers when your phone buzzes.
Tara: OMG ARE U ON YOUR WAY
Tara: i need a pic IMMEDIATELY
The emerald silk that fits like it was made for you, after you finally got the ties right on your own. You have on the nicest pair of heels you could find in your closet. Your hair is down, and your makeup took three attempts and more patience than you thought you had in you. And slung over your shoulder is a tiny black purse thatâs just big enough to hold the essentials, if you arrange them with Tetris-level precision. You look like someone who knows exactly what sheâs doing.
Even though you absolutely donât have a clue.
You angle your phone, snap a quick photo, and send it off. The dress catches the passing streetlights, making the silk shimmer like water. You look good. You know you look good. But knowing it and believing someone like Sylus will think so are two different things.
Tara: BITCH U LOOK SOOOO HOT WTF
Tara: heâs gonna lose his mind
You: ahhhh iâm nervous
Your stomach is doing acrobatics. Youâve been on dates beforeâawkward coffee meetups, dinners that felt like interviews. But this is different. Sylus is different. He sees through you in a way thatâs both thrilling and terrifying.
Tara: good nervous or bad nervous?
You: both?? idk heâs just so...intense
Tara: intense can be good
Tara: but also be careful okay? u don't really know him
You: i know enough
But youâre not sure you believe it yourself. You met him once. Spent a week texting. Thatâs not knowing someone. Thatâsâwhat? Infatuation? Lust? The desperate need to feel wanted by someone who isnât afraid to show it?
Tara: do u tho? u met him ONE time
Tara: just...keep your guard up a little. have fun but don't like, fall in love in one night lol
You smile to yourself because sheâs not wrong. This is fast. Reckless. Exactly the kind of thing youâve never done before because youâve spent too many years being careful, monitored, the girl who follows all the rules and never takes risks.
You: iâm not going to fall in love in one night
Tara: famous last words
Tara: okay but seriously text me if u need anything, okay? and if u ever feel unsafe, LEAVE
Tara: i donât care if heâs six feet of sin and free drinks. u leave!!!
You: i will. i promise.
Tara: good
Tara: also tell him i said if he hurts u i know people
Tara: i donât actually know people but he doesnât know that
You: iâll be sure to pass that along
Tara: love u slut (affectionate)
You: love you too
You tuck your phone away, heart hammering with a mixture of excitement and nerves and something else you canât quite put your finger on. The car is getting closer to Obsidian, the buildings getting taller, the lights getting brighter. You press your hand to your chest, feeling your heartbeat. Steady. Strong. Youâre okay. You can do this.
The car drops you at an unmarked door tucked around the cornerâaway from the crowd and the clubâs main entrance, where a line still coils down the block. Even on a Sunday, this city never sleeps.Â
The door opens before you even reach it, and the same red-haired woman from last week stands in the threshold. This time, she smiles like youâre expected.Â
âWelcome back,â she says warmly. âMr. Sylus is waiting for you upstairs.â
She leads you through corridors you didnât see last time, then into a private elevator that zooms up, up, up, until youâre spit out into a room wrapped in floor-to-ceiling windows. The whole city glitters beneath your feet, like someone scattered jewels over the skyline just to impress you.Â
This is VIP. The real VIP.
Itâs both intimate and alive, exclusive yet inviting. Plush seating areas curve around a central dance floor where a handful of people move to live music. The lighting is low, the bar glowing amber in one corner. And standing at that barâ
Sylus.
He looks too handsome for his own goodâand definitely for yours. Black button-down with the sleeves rolled. Collar open just enough to be sinful. A watch that probably costs more than Zayneâs car. His silver hair gleams under the light, but itâs his eyes that stop youâruby-red, drinking you in slowly, filled with something that feels less like desire and more like devotion.
He dismisses whoever he was talking to without a word, without even a glance, and crosses to you in long strides that eat up the distance faster than seems humanly possible.
âThere you are.â
âHere I am.â
He stops just in front of you, and for a moment he justâlooks. His gaze traces the length of you, eyes sweeping down and back up like he already pictured this moment in obscene detail, and you still managed to knock the breath out of him. Like he already knows youâre going to ruin him, and heâs decided he wouldnât mind it at all.
âBeautiful,â he says simply.Â
He offers his hand. And when you give him yours, he spins you, slow and unhurried, the dress flaring around your legs slightly as you turn. When you complete the rotation, youâre breathless and heâs smiling.
âI knew it would be perfect on you, but seeing itââ He shakes his head in disbelief. âI really do have excellent taste.â
You can feel heat crawling up your neck, but you manage a smirk. âModest, too.â
You think he might let go then, but he doesnât. Without meaning to, your fingers shift, slipping between his. He laces them without hesitation, like heâs been waiting for permission, like itâs instinct, like touching you feels inevitable, and letting go isnât even an optionânot unless you make it one.
âModesty is one of my many virtues.â He squeezes your hand, warm and easy, already leading you across the room. âCome. I have a table, wine waiting, and about a thousand questions Iâve been stockpiling for the occasion.â
He guides you to a curved booth in a prime location, overlooking the dance floor but private enough for conversation. Two glasses of red wine are already poured, the bottle decanted on the table beside a low-burning candle. A small velvet stool sits beside the boothâclearly meant for handbags far more expensive than yours. But Sylus takes your purse from your shoulder anyway, setting it down like it belongs there, like you do. Somewhere nearby, a live quartet plays something soft and slowâstrings sliding over a contemporary melody you recognize. Every moment thought through, like he wasnât just expecting you.Â
Like he was waiting for you to make it real.
You slide into the booth, and he sits beside youâclose, but not crowding, like heâs trying to keep a respectable distance. Room to breathe, even though you want to drown in him. Still, his fingers stay wrapped around yours, your joined hands resting on the leather cushion between you like they belong there.Â
When the silence stretches, itâs not uncomfortableâjust full of everything you havenât said yet, everything you still want to learn. When you glance at Sylus, you find him already looking your way.
âSo,â he says, thumb tracing absent patterns on the back of your hand. âHow much hell did you catch for coming here tonight?â
Your stomach flips, just a little. âWhat makes you think I caught any hell?â
âYou live with someone. And from what youâve mentioned, he seemsââ Sylus pauses, choosing the words carefully. âInvested in your wellbeing.â
You take a sip of wine, using it as a shield. Talking about Zayne so soon feels dangerous. Like bringing him into this space where he doesnât belong.
âGiven that you left the house in that dressââ His eyes trace over you again. âIâm curious how that conversation went.â
You slip your hand from hisânot to push him away, just to steady yourselfâand he doesnât stop you. Doesnât chase. But his hand lingers for a second too long in the air before settling on his leg, like heâs registering the absence. Like he misses it already.
You busy your fingers with the napkin in front of you, reflecting on the past 24 hours: the look on Zayneâs face when you told him where youâd be tonight, the echoing quiet of the apartment in his absence, the way you expected guilt to follow you out the door.
Instead, you just felt free.
âIt didnât,â you say, shaking off the day like dust. You decide to spare Sylus the details. Or maybe itâs yourself youâre sparing. âI justâleft.â
âBrave.â He doesnât press further, just takes a sip of his own wine. âOr reckless. I havenât decided which yet.â
âDoes it matter?â
âNot particularly.â He sets the glass down gently. âIâm just trying to understand you.âÂ
He shifts slightly, turning to face you more fully. His elbow rests on the back of the booth, head tilted into his hand as he studies you with the kind of patience that makes your pulse drum louder in your ears.
âYou intrigue me,â he says, voice lower now. âYouâre careful about some things and impulsive about others. You rejected my invitations all week, but showed up tonight in a dress I picked out. You like following your doctorâs rules, but you came here to break one.â The corner of his mouth lifts subtly, like heâs daring you to deny it. âI want to understand what the pattern is.â
You trace the rim of your glass with your fingertip, avoiding his eyes. Because you canât deny it. Not entirely. âMaybe there isnât one.â
âThereâs always a pattern. I just havenât found yours yet.â He refills both glasses, sliding yours back to you with a raised brow. âBut Iâm a fast learner. Especially when the subject is this tempting.â
You huff out a soft laugh, shaking your head. âIâm not that complicated.â
âYou absolutely are. But I like complicated.â He lifts his glass, and you follow suit. The crystal clinks softly between you, a quiet little toast to whatever this isâand whatever itâs becoming. âSimple is boring. Simple doesnât hold my attention.â
You smile against the rim of your glass before setting it beside his. âSo Iâm a distraction?â
âYouâre a full-time job, kitten. Lucky for you, I donât mind working overtime.â He flicks your forehead like itâs a button he canât resist. âIn fact, I think Iâm due for a promotion.âÂ
âRude.â You scrunch your nose at him in mock offense, swatting at his hand. âIâm reporting you for workplace harassment.â
âOh, no.â He catches your wrist midair, grinning like you handed him a trophy. âGuess Iâll have to settle out of court, then.â
He lifts your hand to his mouth, kissing each knuckleâone, two, three, fourâall while watching your reaction like itâs the best part.Â
âYou hit like a kitten, too,â he says against your skin. He presses a kiss to the top of your hand, this one slower. âIf you want me to beg for mercy, youâll need sharper claws.â
He sets the trap, and you spring it with pleasure.Â
Your free hand drifts upâfingertip turning to nail as you drag it along the side of his throat, slow enough to feel the rise of goosebumps, the flex of his jaw, the way his throat bobs as he swallows.
He doesnât stop you. He wouldnât dare.
You take his chin between your fingers, angling his face toward yours. For a moment, you just look at him, and he looks at you, and it hits you. How dangerous this could get. How close his mouth is to yoursâand how little that terrifies you. How easy it is to fall.Â
How maybe you already have.
You lean in closer, like youâre about to kiss himâbut at the last second, your mouth finds his ear instead.
âYou can beg all you want,â you whisper, your lips brushing the sensitive spot just beneath his lobe. âMercyâs not really in my nature.â
His breath catches almost imperceptibly, but you feel it. Feel a weekâs worth of tension ignite all at once, everything thatâs only lived in text now taking shape between you, hot and close and palpable.Â
He recovers just as quickly with a laugh, low and rough, unraveling at the edges.
âCareful, sweetie,â he warns, gaze dark and hungry now. âThat almost turned me on.â
Heâs still holding your wrist, not tight enough to stop you, just tight enough to say he wonât let go first. And your fingers still hold his chin, thumb grazing the edge of his bottom lip. The way his eyes go heavy, the subtle part of his mouth beneath your touchâit sparks something fierce in your chest, something possessive. The knowledge that you can do this to him. That someone this powerful comes undone at your fingertips.
You cock your head, voice soft and cruel. âAlmost?â
âYou want proof, hm?â His eyes flick down to your lips, and for a second, heâs silent, like heâs already playing out the possibilities in vivid detail.
Then he blinks hard, shaking his head with a crooked laugh, like heâs snapping himself out of something dangerous.
âGod, youâre good. But not that good,â he mutters. âDonât you even think about answering that.â
Youâre both laughing when he lets go of your wrist, only to wrap his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. His hand settles at your hipâlong fingers, broad palms, the kind of hands that could break things but choose to be gentle with you. You can feel the warmth of his touch through the silk, steady and grounding at your side.
You melt into him without thinking, head finding the space between his shoulder and chest like it was carved out just for you. And for the first time in days, maybe weeks, you feel at ease. Happy. Not the breathless, fleeting kind. The kind that settles low and deep and tells you that youâre exactly where youâre supposed to be.
âNow tell me something I donât know,â Sylus says, and you can feel the curve of his smile press lightly against your temple. âUnless youâre out of secrets so soon?â
You talk after that. Easy conversation that flows like youâve known each other longer than a week.
He asks about Taraâhow you met, what sheâs like, whether she approved of him. You tell him about how she showed up at your place one night with ice cream and takeout after a particularly brutal training session, how she convinced you to try karaoke at three in the morning, and neither of you could hit a single note, but you laughed until your ribs hurt anyway. How sheâs the kind of friend who doesnât ask questions, just shows up.
âShe sounds like exactly the kind of chaos you need,â Sylus says with approval.
âShe is,â you agree. âThe best kind.â
You ask him what he does when heâs not working, and he seems surprised by the question. Like no one has asked him in a very long time.
âI collect music,â he says after a moment. âVinyl, mostly. Old records that most people have forgotten about. Jazz, blues, classicalâanything with history to it.â
âDo you play?â
âPipe organ. Not well, but enough to satisfy myself.â He lifts his glass, but doesnât take a sip right away. âThereâs something about musicâit's honest in a way people aren't. A song canât lie to you about what it's trying to make you feel.â
You watch him, momentarily disarmed. Not just by the admission, but by what it revealsâsomething quieter beneath his charm. Reflective. Private. A man who keeps music close, not for performance, but because it tells the truth when words fall short.
And for reasons you canât quite grasp, that makes you feelâŠpleased. Like youâve uncovered a new corner of him, and itâs beautiful and rare and yours to hold.
âIâd like to hear you play sometime,â you say softly.
âNow, trouble.â He glances at you over the rim of his glass, something unreadable sparking in his eyes. âThat sounds suspiciously like youâre planning to stick around.â
You smile, head tilting. âI might be.â
He grins, all slow confidence, but his fingers flex a little tighter on your hip. âAbout damn time,â he says, but thereâs something in his voice, like he needed to hear it more than heâll ever let on.
When the topic drifts to the club, something in Sylus changes. Youâve always known there was more to Obsidian than meets the eye, and now he starts to share it. Not every detail, but enough. Enough to know itâs not just a business, itâs a world. One heâs crafted by hand with care and control. One heâs now letting you glimpse.
âThe work I do exists in grey areas,â he says simply. âI make deals. I negotiate. Sometimes I have to remind people that certain lines shouldnât be crossed. Itâs not always clean, and Iâve made choices Iâm not particularly proud of.âÂ
âLike what?â
âSometimes people forget that respect has to go both ways. That just because Iâm willing to negotiate doesnât mean Iâm weak.â His eyes meet yours, making sure you donât miss the conviction in what heâs saying. âWhen that happens, I remind them. Firmly.â
This is what Zayne warned you about. This darkness, this violence that lives in Sylus like a second skin. You think about the way Zayneâs voice had gone flat when he said Sylusâs name. The way heâd refused to explain what happened between them, only that Sylus had hurt him. Not physically, heâd said. But hurt all the same.
You drain whatâs left in your wine glass before responding. âYou mean you hurt people.â
âI mean I protect whatâs mine.â Thereâs no apology in his voice. âThis club, my people, the life Iâve createdâI donât let anyone threaten that. And most of the time, just the threat is enough. Most people are smart enough not to push.â
He finishes his own drink and leans back slightly, the crystal of his glass catching the low light as he turns it in his fingers.
âBut yes. Iâve hurt people. Iâve killed people. More than I can count. Some who deserved it, some who didnât.â He doesnât say it like a confession. He says it like a fact. âAnd if I have to do it again to keep the ones I care about safe, I willâand I wonât lose sleep over it.â
It should terrify you. You should see the red flags waving, should listen to Zayneâs warnings, should remember that men who murder arenât safe, no matter how gentle their hands are.
But all you can think is that you want someone to protect you like that. To fight for you. To choose you without hesitation. Not because itâs their duty or responsibility, but because they canât imagine doing anything else.
And when you look at Sylusâreally look at himâall you see is honesty, raw and unflinching. Heâs not trying to hide what he is. Heâs laying it out for you to accept or reject.
And somehow, that makes all the difference.
âAre you trying to scare me off?â you ask him earnestly.
âIâm trying to tell you the truth.â His hand finds yours again, fingers threading through yours carefully, like heâs not sure youâll let him. âYou said you wanted honesty. So here it is: Iâm dangerous. Not to you, never to you, but to plenty of other people. And being with me means being part of that world.â
Heâs quiet for a long moment, and you watch something war behind his eyes. Your free hand moves without thinking, settling on his thigh. The contact soothes you both, and you feel the muscle tense beneath your palm before relaxing.
âI canât guarantee your safety,â he says finally. âThatâs the reality. I can protect youâI will protect youâbut I canât promise nothing will ever touch you. I need you to understand that this world I live in, the work I doâitâs volatile. Violent. People make plays for power, and sometimesâŠinnocent people get caught in the crossfire.â
Your stomach tightens, but you donât pull away.
âYou think I havenât thought about this? About what it means that Iâm here with you?â Your jaw sets stubbornly. âI know that your world is dangerous. And Iâm telling you I donât care. I want to learn. I want to be part of it.â
âYou should care.â His voice is serious. âThis isnât just about danger. Youâre trained to be a Hunter. You know how to handle yourself.â His eyes land on yours, fierce and certain. âItâs about going against your training, your colleagues, everything youâve been working toward. Youâd be helping someone your Association would call a criminal.â
You have considered itâtoo much, if anything. What it would cost. What it would mean. And yes, youâre scared. Scared of what youâre walking into. Scared of what it means for your career, your health, the life youâve built with Zayne. Scared of being wrong. Of regretting this entirely.
But more than that, youâre tired.
Tired of being treated like you donât know what you want. Tired of people making your choices for you.
So when you speak again, itâs with fire.
âI know the Association would lose their minds if they knew I was here. Let them,â you continue, heat rising in your voice. âThey donât get to decide for me. Neither does my doctor. Or you. No one does. Iâm here because I want to be. I know there are risks. And Iâm choosing you anyway.â
Something flashes in his eyesâsurprise, maybe. Respect. âYou mean that.â
âI mean it.â Your heartbeat is loud, but your voice is strong. âSo stop trying to talk me out of it.â
He nods, holding your gaze for a few seconds, like heâs checking one last time for any doubt. When he doesnât find any, his shoulders loosen and he exhales for the first time in what feels like minutes.
âCan I ask you something?â you say after a moment.
âAlways.âÂ
You hesitate, fingers picking at the hem of your dress without realizing it. âWhy are you still single? Someone like youâyou could have anyone.â
He laughs, low and genuine. âSomeone like me? And what am I like?â
âConfident. Attractive. Successful," you say, the words tumbling out without filter. "Dangerous in a way thatâs exciting, not scary.â
His amusement softens. His gaze settles on you like heâs actually listening now, not just teasing. âIs that how you see me?â
âThatâs how everyone sees you.â
âBut I asked what you see.â He leans in just a fraction, like he wants the answer close. âEveryone else doesnât matter. I want to know what you see.â
âI see all of those things. But alsoââ You consider it. Really consider it. Your hand on his thigh presses slightly, unconsciously seeking connection. âLonely. Under all of it, I think you might be lonely."
He goes still for a moment, and you wonder if youâve overstepped. But then his expression gentles, and his hand drops from your face to cover yours on his thigh. His fingers dwarf yours, warm and steady.
âIâm not lonely,â he says quietly. âI like being alone. Iâve built a life that works for me. One where I answer to no one, where I donât have to compromise or explain myself.âÂ
He pauses, and the silence stretches long enough that you think he might not continue. His thumb traces over your knuckles absently, like he needs the contact to say what comes next.
âBut then you walked into my club, and I wanted to share things. Wanted to show you my life. Take you places, hear what you think about them.â He looks down at where your hands are joined, like he canât quite believe youâre still touching him after everything he just confessed. âWanted someone to come home to.â
Your breath catches. The honesty in his voice, the vulnerability, the weight of the implication of his wordsâŠitâs almost too much to take in. If Tara could hear this conversation, sheâd drag you out of here by the hairâbecause this feels dangerously close to falling in love after one night.
âIâve never wanted that before,â he continues, and his grip on your hand tightens just slightly. âNever saw the appeal. But with youââ He stops, jaw clenching. âYou make me want things I didnât know I was missing.â
âLike what?â
âLike this. Sitting with you. Talking. Learning what makes you smile. What makes you tick.â His other hand finds your waist, and you realize at some point youâve shifted even closer to him. âLike taking you to dinner and arguing about whose meal is better. Like showing you my favorite record store and watching you light up when you find something you love.â He leans closer, and you can see the way his pupils have dilated, the way his breathing has changed. âLike waking up with you and knowing I get to do it all again the next day.â
âSylusââ
âToo much?â Heâs watching your face carefully, and you can see the fear thereâactual fear that heâs said too much, gone too far, scared you off.
âNo, not at all,â you assure him, and your hand on his thigh squeezes gently. âJustâunexpected.â
âYou make me say unexpected things.â His smile is soft. âItâs terrifying.â
Your fingers tighten where they rest on his leg, and he glances down at your hand like itâs something sacred. When his gaze lifts again, thereâs a hint of shyness there, a tender warmth that makes him look almost younger, completely unguarded.
âDance with me,â he says abruptly, and you can hear the emotion he's trying to hide beneath the casual request. âBefore I say something even more pathetic.â
You laugh despite the emotion tightening your throat. âThat wasnât pathetic.â
âIt was close.â But heâs smiling as he stands, offering you his hand. âNow letâs go. Iâve been wanting to get my hands on you all week.â
The dance floor in VIP is more intimate than downstairsâsmaller, darker, the music slower and more sensual. Couples move together in the low light, bodies pressed close.
You wrap your arms around his neck firstâan unspoken invitation. His hands settle at your waist in response, pulling you flush against him with no pretense of distance or propriety. This isnât the careful dancing of people getting to know each other. Itâs something heavier. Familiar. Like youâve danced this dance in another lifetime and just now remembered the steps.
âBetter,â he murmurs, one hand sliding lower on your back. âThis is much better than imagining it.â
You grin up at him. âYou imagined this?â
âIncessantly. All week. To a degree that is frankly embarrassing.â His other hand comes up to cradle your jaw. âYou, here, in this dress, in my armsâŠthe reality is better than anything I could have pictured.â
The music shifts to something slower, more intimate, and you let yourself melt into him. Your fingers find his hairâsoft, surprisingly soâand you toy with the strands at his nape. He makes a sound low in his throat, all heat and satisfaction.
âTell me something,â he says against your ear. âWhat are you thinking right now?â
âThat youâre very good at this.â
âAt dancing?â
âAt making me forget why this is complicated.â
âItâs only complicated if we make it complicated.â He spins you slightly, pulls you back against his chest. âRight now, itâs just us. Dancing. Touching. Everything else can wait.â
The song ends, and another begins. And another. You lose track of time, lost in the rhythm and the tension and the way Sylus looks at you like youâre the only person in the room.
You notice it thenâthe hazy, loose quality to how people are moving around you. The way conversations seem more honest, more intense. Laughter thatâs too real.
âTheyâre on the serum,â you murmur, realization dawning. âThe truth serum. Here too.â
âVoluntarily,â Sylus confirms. âVIP floor gets the option. Most people choose it. Helps withânegotiations.â
âOf course it does.â You laugh softly. âIf only my doctor could take it. Maybe then heâd finally say what he actually thinks.â
His eyes go wide for a heartbeat. âYou want him on truth serum?â
âI donât know. Maybe,â you admit. You hadnât thought about it before, but the idea isâŠtempting. âMaybe then Iâd finally knowââ You start, but swallow the words down just as fast.
âKnow what?â
âIf he wants me the way I want him. Or if Iâm justââ You gesture vaguely. âConvenient. A burden he canât shake.â
He scoffs under his breath, not unkindlyâmore like he canât believe youâd even think such a thing.
âFirst of all, youâre never a burden.â He lets that settle, watching the way it lands in you before he moves on. âSecondâhe wouldnât come to a place like this, would he?â
âGod, no.â You laugh, but this time itâs bitter. âHe thinks this place is dangerous. He told me to stay far, far away.â
âAnd yet here you are.â
âAnd yet here I am.â
Sylus falls quiet, still swaying with you to the rhythm like he could stay here forever. Eventually, his hand shifts at your waist, his mouth brushing close to your ear.Â
âDancingâs not over,â he murmurs. âBut thereâs something I'd like to show you.â
He leads you off the floor, through the VIP section, and up a set of stairs to a private corner with a wall of windows overlooking the city. The N109 Zone spreads out below you, all lights and movement and possibilityâand danger, lurking in every shadow.
There's a wide ledge built into the wall, almost like a window seat. Sylus stops in front of it, then looks at you with something challenging in his eyes.Â
âUp,â he says, nodding toward the window.
âWhat?â
âYou heard me. Up on the ledge, sweetie.â His smile is sharp, almost boyish. âOr you can keep craning your neck like that, and Iâll start thinking you enjoy being under me.â
The command in his voice makes heat pool low in your belly. You stick your tongue out at him in a quick little dare, then let him lift you anyway, his hands firm on your waist as he lifts you effortlessly onto the ledge. A second later, youâre eye-level with him, the city glowing behind you.
âThere we go,â he says, satisfaction in his voice as he steps between your legs. Not touching, not yet. Justâclose. âMuch better. Now we're even.â
His palms plant firmly on either side of you, framing you against the edge, and the parallel isnât lost on you. Zayne had you in this same position just last night.
But everything feels different.
Because where Zayneâs nearness was patient, almost painful in its control, Sylus is electric. Like heâs not just holding backâheâs daring you to ask him not to.
âAnd what do you see?â
âSomeone brave. Someone who took a risk tonight.â Now that youâre eye-to-eye, the weight of his attention is impossible to ignore. âSomeone I canât quite figure out yet. But Iâm trying.â
âIs that why you brought me up here?â you ask. âTo figure me out?â
âI brought you up here because I wanted you closer. Because I like seeing my city behind you.â His gaze shifts from the skyline back to you. âAnd because every time I look at you, I think about what it would feel like to kiss you, and itâs getting really goddamn hard to think about anything else.â
Your breath hitches, and the wanting hits you all at once. Youâve been thinking about it, too. All night. All week. What his mouth would feel like against yours. If he kisses like he talksâlike heâs studying you slowly, like each small detail is something he wants to learn firsthand.
âYou know you donât need to get my permission every time,â you say, voice tight with need. âYou can justâtouch me. Iâll tell you if I donât like something.â
âThatâs very generous of you, kitten.â His voice is calm, amused, like heâs already seen where this is going. âBut Iâm not interested in shortcuts.â
He keeps his hands braced on the ledge beside you deliberately, almost stubbornly. So you reach for them, fingers curling around his wrists as you peel them off one at a time and place them on your bare thighsâhigher than he expects, right where the silk ends.
For a moment, he just stares. Then his hands tighten around your soft skin, thumbs brushing along your inner thighs.
âIs that how you ask nicely?â he murmurs, a wicked smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. âBy manhandling me?â
âYou were taking too long,â you shoot back, eyes daring.
He laughs, low and smug. âImpatient girl.â
âIâm tired of waiting for things,â you say, breath softening, fingers curling lightly at his shoulders as you steady yourself.Â
His gaze drops to where your hands linger, then trails up the bare skin of your thigh, where his palms still rest on you firmly now, no longer tentative.Â
âAre we still talking about me?â His voice is lower, darker now. âOr are we talking about your doctor?â
Your eyes narrow. You feel bare beneath his gaze, like heâs dissecting every unspoken thought. âDoes it matter?â
âIt does to me.â His thumbs trace slow lines up the inside of your thighs, and you have to fight not to squirm. âBecause I need to knowâwhen youâre with me like this, are you thinking about him, too?â
âSometimes,â you admit. âIs that bad?â
âNo. Itâs honest. And thisââ He stops, and one hand leaves your thigh to cup your face, tilting it so you have to look at him. ââis intentional. You chose this. Chose me. Chose to be here, knowing what it might mean.â
âI did.â
âWhy?â His other thumb hooks under the silk of your dress, brushing bare skin underneath. âTell me why.â
âI like you, Sylus,â you admit, voice low but steady. âI like the way I feel invincible when Iâm with you. I like the way you look at meâlike I'm someone worth knowing. Like I'm capable. You don't dance around things or hide behind what you think I want to hear. And I like that you don't flinch when I push back. You justâpush back harder. Like you want me to.â
He traces your cheekbone, and you can see him processing your words, holding them like theyâre precious. You take a breath, and even though it feels too revealing, you keep going.
âI wanted to be here. With you. Not just anyone whoâd pay attention to me. You. Because you make me feel alive in a way I didn't know I was missing.â Your voice softens. âAnd, yeah, maybe a part of me is here because I wanted to feel wanted. Because Iâm tired of waiting for someone who wonât everââ You stop yourself short.
âWonât what?â
âNothing.â
âNo. Tell me.â He leans closer, brushing hair from your face, fingers lingering at your temple. âWonât what? Touch you? Want you? Take what youâre offering?â
The accuracy of it makes your chest tight. You can only nod.
âHe does want you,â Sylus says quietly. Both his hands find your hips, settling there with certainty. âYour doctor. Iâd bet everything I own that he does. But he wonât let himself take it. Wonât cross that line.â
âHow do youââ
âBecause I pay attention. Because you get this look every time you mention himâlike you want something youâre not allowed to have.â His voice drops quieter. âAnd because no man could have a woman like you under his roof and stay untouched by it.â
You donât know what to say, only that you want him to keep looking at you like that. Desirable. Like a woman who could wreck a man if she wanted to.Â
Maybe even two.
âHereâs the thing, kitten,â he continues, voice dropping. âI meant what I said before. On the phone. About you wanting both of us.â
The memory makes your face go hot in an instant. âThat wasnâtâthat was justââ
His hands knead the soft curve of your hips, like heâs trying to coax the rest of the sentence out of you.
âJust what, hm? Fantasy?â His eyes are intense on yours. âMaybe. But itâs what you want. And Iâm not going to pretend I donât know that just to make this simpler.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âHe can give you careful. Safe. The kind of love that protects you. And I can give you this.â Sylus's hands flex where they hold you. âFire. Passion. Everything that makes you feel alive. Why does it have to be one or the other?â
Youâd thought about itâlate at night when you couldnât sleep, when the wanting got too big to ignore. When you wore one manâs shirt and thought about the other. The idea that maybe you could have both. That maybe it didnât have to be a choice.
But then thereâs the other partâthe part Sylus doesnât know. The part where your doctor is Zayne, and Zayne apparently knows Sylus, which means Sylus apparently knows Zayne, and suddenly the idea of âbothâ feels like playing with a fuse you have no business touching.
Itâs a conversation youâre not ready to haveânot when it might shatter this moment. Youâre too much of a coward, too selfish to risk ruining something that finally feels right.
Itâs easier to pretend itâs not possible. Safer to believe you never had a real choice to begin with.
âIt wouldn't work. Even if I wanted it to.â You look away, but he catches your chin, making you meet his eyes. Dread curls in your stomach, because the way he looks at you makes the next words unbearable. âHe doesnât like you, Sylus. HeâŠknows of you, and he thinks youâre dangerous. That youâre bad for me.â
His expression shiftsâsomething unreadable passing through his eyes. Then his mouth curves into something that's not quite a smile.
"Smart man." He releases your chin, and the absence is instant, like heat lifting off your skin. "I'd think less of him if he didn't warn you away from me."
âStop saying things like that.â Your hands find his face, forcing him to look at you. âIt's not true. I knowâ"
"No, you don't. Not really." His hands come up to circle your wrists, holding you there even as you hold him. "You know the idea of it. The concept. But you haven't seen it. Haven't watched me become something cold and efficient andâ" He stops himself, closing his eyes briefly. "You don't know what it means to be part of that world yet."
He takes a step back, and your hands fall away from his face. He looks out at the city behind youâhis city, all bright lights and hidden dangers. When he speaks again, his voice is quieter.
"Your doctor sees what I am. And he wants to protect you from it." He turns back to you. "I could never fault him for that."
Something inside you twists, hot and fierce. Because he still doesn't see it. Doesn't understand that you already made up your mind.
âWill you hurt me?âÂ
You ask it not because youâre afraid he will. You ask it because you need him to understand you already know the answer. That you trust him in ways he doesn't seem to trust himself.
His head snaps back toward you, red eyes sharp and searching.
âNot willingly. Not intentionally. Never, if I could help it.â He moves back into your space, close enough that you can see the fight in his eyesâthe want and the fear and the desperate need to make you understand. âIâll guard you from every angle I can. Iâll take the hit first. Every time. But I canât guarantee youâll never feel the impact.â
You swallow, once, hard, because you can see heâs not warning you to create distance. Heâs warning you because he cares. Because in his mind, youâre already something he could loseâeven if he doesnât truly have you yet.
Your voice is barely there when it comes back.
âThen none of that scares me,â you whisper. âNot the way being without you would.â
His hands come up to cradle your face, palms warm against your cheeks. You lean into the touch before you can stop yourself, just enough to let him know you want him there.
âYou want in? Then I need you to be honest with me.â His thumbs smooth the tension from your skin. âIf itâs ever too muchâif youâre scared, or unhappy, if you want outâyou tell me. Immediately. No judgment, no questions. You just tell me, and Iâll get you out.â
âAnd if I want to learn more?â
âThen Iâll teach you.â He says it easily, like itâs inevitable. âEverything you want to know. But we go at your pace. When youâre ready.â
You frown. âI want to be ready.â
âI know, kitten. But thereâs a difference between wanting it and being prepared for it.â His hand slides to your neck, fingers threading into your hair at the base of your skull. âIâm not going to throw you into the deep end and hope you can swim. Iâm going to teach you. Show you how to navigate it. Make sure you know exactly what youâre getting into, so you can make your own choices about whether you want to be in my world.â
You nod into his touch. âSo what do we do?â
âWe take our time. I show you pieces. You tell me when you want more.â He pauses, searching your face. âAnd in the meantime, we figure out the rest.â
âThe rest?â
âYour doctor. What you want from him. What you want from me.â His thumb brushes over your lower lip, and you have to fight not to take it into your mouth. âI told youâI love the idea of you wanting both of us. Obsessed with it, actually. That wasnât just dirty talk, sweetie.â His smile is sharp now. âEven if he apparently thinks Iâm the devil. Makes it all the more interesting, doesnât it?â
Your face heats. âSylusââ
âIâm serious.â One hand finds your hip again, pulling you forward on the ledge. The shift makes your legs hook over his hips, and suddenly youâre pressed against himâcenter to centerâin a way that steals your breath. âI know it sounds like fantasy. And maybe it is. But I also think itâs what you actually want. What you actually need.â
âEven if thatâs true, it doesnât matter. He wonâtââ
âHe wonât if you donât push him to.â His eyes burn into yours. âAnd Iâm going to push you to push him. Because I donât want you living in constant uncertainty. I donât want you spending another day wondering if he wants you when I already know he does.â
âHow can you be so sure?â
âBecause I understand wanting you.â His voice drops lower, rough with honesty. âI understand how it feels to have you close and not be able to touch you every way I want. To watch you exist in my space and know you could walk away at any moment.â His grip in your hair tightens just enough to tilt your head up, to keep your eyes on him. âThe difference is Iâm not pretending I don't feel it. And Iâm not going to let you pretend you donât deserve to have both if thatâs what you want.â
Your chest feels too tight. âThatâsââ
âOverwhelming?â His smile is soft, a little devious. âPerhaps. But youâre already ruining this pretty dress I picked out for you just thinking about it, and I havenât even gotten my hands under it yet. So maybe a little overwhelming is just what you need.â
You can feel him hard against you, the pressure perfect where your bodies meet, and it makes thinking impossible. Your hips roll forward of their own accord, seeking more, and he groans, low and broken. The movement drags him right against the lace you wore under the dress, the delicate fabric soaked through and doing nothing to dull the way you feel him.
âTrouble,â he warns, but his hand tightens on your hip, encouraging the movement. âWhat am I going to do with you?â
âWhatever you want,â you breathe, and his eyes go molten.
âBold thing to say.â His hand guides your hips again, creating friction that makes you gasp. âI want a lot of things. Should I start a list?â
Youâre moving against each other now, the pressure building, when he shiftsâadjusts your position so one of your legs slides down, and suddenly youâre straddling his thigh instead. The change in angle is immediate and devastating.
âThere,â he says, voice rough as his hands settle on your hips, grip firm. âNo more hiding. Let me feel everything youâre trying so hard to hold in.â
And God, you can feel everythingâthe hard muscle of his thigh, the pressure right where you need it, the heat of his hands guiding you.
One hand slides up your back, fingers splaying wide between your bare shoulder blades, pressing you closer. The other stays at your hip, controlling the rhythm, showing you exactly how he wants you to move.
âYou react like youâve been waiting for permission,â he murmurs against your jaw. âEvery touch, every wordâlike you needed someone to tell you itâs okay to want this.â
You can feel the heat of him everywhereâhis chest against yours, his thigh between your legs, his breath on your neck.
âMaybe I did.â
âThen listen to me now.â He kisses your neck, teeth grazing sensitive skin. âYouâre allowed to want this. Youâre allowed to take everything you need from me.â
Youâre moving against him harder now, chasing something you can feel building. His hand on your back slides lower, pressing at the base of your spine to change the angle, and suddenlyâ
âOh god.â
âThere it is.â His voice is pure satisfaction. âNow give me that pretty little noise again.â
Youâre making sounds you donât recognize, desperate whimpers and gasps, and heâs encouraging every one. His mouth finds your throat, sucking hard, then soft, and the sting of it makes you move faster.
âI'm so proud of you,â he breathes against your skin. âYou needed this so badly, didn't you, sweetie?â
The praise breaks something in you. Your hands fist in his hair, pulling him back from your neck, and you see itâthe way his lips are parted, the way his eyes drop to your mouth and stay there. The way heâs not moving, not closing the distance, just waiting. Begging without words.
So you take it.
You pull him to you and finallyâfinallyâyou kiss him.
Itâs messy and graceless, the way your tongue slides against his the second your mouths meet. He groans like youâve gutted him, one hand immediately cupping the back of your head while the other tightens almost painfully on your hip. You bite his lip just to feel him react, and the low sound he makes goes straight to your core. He kisses you harder for it, dragging you closer like he needs more skin, more friction, more of you, like he doesnât care if the world burns as long as he gets to have this.
When you finally break apart for air, he doesn't go far. His forehead rests against yours, both of you panting.
âFuck,â he breathes, voice absolutely wrecked. âYou have no ideaââ He kisses you again, quick and hard. ââhow long Iâve been waiting for you to do that.â
Your grip in his hair tightens, using it as leverage. âI shouldâve done it sooner.â
âAnd miss the fun of watching you squirm all night? Not a chance, sweetie.â His eyes are blazing as they drop to your mouth again. âNow be honest with me.â
You steal another kiss, lips barely grazing his before you breathe, âAlways.â
âYour doctorâwould he kiss you like this?âÂ
The kiss is soft. Slow. Barely there. The kind of kiss that aches with everything withheld, like heâs memorizing your mouth instead of claiming it. Like heâs afraid to ruin something fragile.
âOr like this?âÂ
The second kiss hits like a storm, wet and full of urgency. His tongue claims your mouth in long, filthy strokesâhot and greedy, like heâs already imagining what the rest of you tastes like. He groans against your mouth, fingers digging into your hip, the other fisting in your hair like heâll come apart without something to hold.
And then he breaks away againâbarelyâeyes searching yours.
âOr maybe like this.â
The third kiss begins with restraint. Almost gentle. His lips skim yours like heâs tasting the moment, teasing it out, dragging the tension until your whole body hums with want.
He kisses you slow, deep, like heâs learning the shape of your mouthâlike he wants you to feel every drag of his tongue against yours. Itâs quieter than the last one, but it makes your pulse riot, because you can feel him holding back.
And thenâhe doesnât.
His teeth catch your lower lip in a sudden bite, sharp enough to make you gasp. He doesn't pull away. Just holds there for a beat, tongue soothing over the sting, breath hot and ragged against your mouth.
And in your mind, itâs Zayne kissing you like that, tooârough and desperate, finally letting go of all that control. The image spurs you on, makes you move faster. Your lip throbs, and his eyes flare as he watches your reaction.
âYouâre thinking about it,â Sylus says, and thereâs pleasure in his voice. âImagining him here. Watching you. Or maybe letting you use him like this.â
âYes,â you gasp, because lying feels impossible right now.
âWould he let you do this?â His hand at your hip tightens, guiding you harder against his thigh. âPull his hair like that? Use him to get yourself off?â
ââThe image flashes through your mindâZayne beneath you, watching you take your pleasure, his hands on your hips just like this. The thought makes you moan.
âWould he touch you like this?â His hand slides from your hip to your thigh, fingertips dragging up the sensitive skin slowly. âIf he were here, would he push your panties to the side and slide two fingers in while I watched?â His hand moves dangerously close, and youâre certain you stop breathing. âWould he be able to handle it, the way your body moves when youâre this close to coming? Or would he lose his mind the second he felt how wet you areâhow tight youâd grip his fingers if you let him put them in?â
âI donâtâI donât know,â you manage, dazed, but youâre imagining itâZayneâs careful hands, the way heâd touch you like youâre something irreplacable even as he takes you apart.
âWould he tell you how badly he wants to put his mouth on every inch of youâor would he make you beg for every touch like you don't already deserve it?â His hand on your back presses you somehow closer. âWould he tell you how beautiful you look right now? How gorgeous you look like this, fucking yourself on my thigh like that?"
âSylusâpleaseââ
âNo? Then allow me.â His mouth finds your ear, teeth grazing. âAllow me to tell you how breathtaking you are like thisâdripping wet all over me, riding me like it's the only thing keeping you alive. And knowing youâre thinking about both of us while you do it?" He exhales, breath ragged against your throat. "His tongue between your legs, my hands spreading you open, the way weâd both make room for youâfuck, no wonder youâre soaked.â
The words hit you like a physical thingâpermission to want both, to imagine both, to have both. Your rhythm falters and he feels it, his hands tightening on you.
âYou feel that?â he groans, thigh flexing beneath you, and you nearly sob from how perfect it feels. âI know. I know. God, you're close. Come for me, kitten. Come for us. Show us both how pretty you are when you let go.â
The us breaks you. Youâre right at the edge, everything pulled tight and desperate, pleasure coiling hot and insistent at the base of your spineâ
And it snaps.
Your orgasm crashes through you in waves, making you cry out against his neck as he holds you through it, murmuring praise you can barely hear over the rushing in your ears.
âYou're unbelievable. Unbelievable,â he murmurs, still catching his breath. âYou didn't hold back. And fuck, it was beautiful.â
Youâre shaking, aftershocks rolling through you, when his hands slow your movementâgentle but firm.
You canât form words. Can barely breathe. Your face is buried in his neck, and you can feel his pulse racing under your lips.
âStill with me?â he asks, brushing your hair back with careful fingers.
You nod against him, but your hand moves on its ownâover his chest, down his stomach. You just want to give something back. You feel like you took so much.Â
But then your palm brushes the hard outline of him. He sucks in a breath between his teethâlike it took everything in him not to thrust into your hand.
âOh.â
âYeah. Oh.â He laughs quietly, and you feel it rumble through his chest. When you finally pull back to look at him, his eyes are soft. âYou have no idea what you do to me.â
You feel him beneath your handâtwitching, achingâand it hits you just how much heâs holding back.
âI think Iâm starting to get a pretty good idea.â You tilt your head, lips brushing his jaw. âBut I want to see what else I can do to you, too.â
His fingers close around your wrist and guide it upward, pressing your palm flat against his chest. His heart slams like itâs trying to speak for him.Â
âNow youâre just showing off.â He laughs again, more genuinely this time. âGive me a minute. Please. Let me think about literally anything else.â
âLike what?â
âInventory. Tax forms. Anything that isnât how good you feel against me.â
You grin, feeling powerful. Wanted. âIs it helping?â
âNot in the slightest,â he says, helping you down from the ledge carefully. Your legs are unsteady, and he keeps his hands on your waist until you find your balance.Â
Then, gently, he tugs your dress back into place, smoothing the fabric over your hips with slow, lingering fingers. You blink at him, dazed, and he gives you a look thatâs part affection, part amusement.
âDonât look at me like that.â He leans in, brushing a kiss behind your ear. âTrust me, kitten. Iâm not exactly suffering.â
You open your mouth to protestâto offer something, anythingâbut he cuts you off with a hand at your lower back, steering you forward.
âNow letâs get you some water. Before I disgrace us both in front of a security camera.â
Back at the booth, thereâs a new drink waiting, along with two glasses of ice water. The cocktails are colorful and elaborate, garnished with what looks like strawberries and mint.Â
âHouse specialty,â Sylus says, sliding one toward you. âI had them make it fresh.â
You eye it warily. âWhatâs in it?â
âGood things. Try it.â
âNo, seriously. Whatâs in it?â Youâre always careful. Always asking. Canât afford not to be.
âSome kind of liqueur. Fruit juice. The bartenderâs secret recipe.â Heâs already drinking his own. âItâs good. Trust me.â
You hesitate. You should ask more specifically. Should confirm every ingredient. Should be careful.
But youâre tired of being cautious. And Sylus wouldnât give you something dangerous. He wouldnât.
âOkay.â You take a sip.
Itâs delicious. Sweet but not too sweet. Complex. The strawberry flavor is fresh and bright.
You take another sip.
âGood?â Sylus asks.
âReally good.â You set it down. âYouâre trying to get me drunk.â
âIâm trying to get you relaxed.â His hand finds yours on the table. âYouâve been tense since we got back.â
âWonder why,â you say dryly, and he grins.
âFair. Thatâs my fault.â He brings your hand to his lips. âBut you enjoyed it.â
âI didnât say I didnât.â
âGood. Because I plan to do it again. When youâre ready. When we have more time and fewer clothes andââ He stops himself. âIâm getting ahead of myself.â
âMmm,â you hum, âbut what if I like it when you get ahead of yourself?â
âTrouble.â But his eyes are warm. âYouâre trouble for me.â
You swirl the straw around in your glass, and you feel him watching your fingers move. A sly smile tugs at your lips. âI thought you loved trouble.âÂ
âI do,â he says, brushing his thumb under your chin. âEspecially when she looks at me like that.â
You freeze. Emotion floods in before you can name it, soft and dizzying and entirely too much. You think of Zayne like a reflexâthe man you've waited for, ached for, trusted with every part of yourself except this. But Sylus is right here, looking at you like heâs already yours. And in just one night, heâs reached places Zayne never dared to touch.
It doesnât make you want Zayne any less. But now thereâs thisâsomething new, something realâand it sits too close to your heart.
âDance with me again,â you say, too quickly. You stand, needing motion. Distraction. âPlease.â
His mouth twitches, like he knows exactly what youâre doingâbecause it's the same dodge he used when things got too close. And now heâs letting you get away with it, just this once.
âSay please again,â he teases. âSlower this time. Like you mean it.â
You roll your eyesâbut your fingers are already curling around his, tugging him toward the floor.
This time is different. Closer. More urgent. His hands on your waist, your arms around his neck. Moving together like youâve done this a thousand times.
He kisses you between songs. Deep, hungry kisses that leave you gasping. Small kisses pressed to your jaw, your neck, your shoulder. Like he canât help himself. Like touching you is the only thing keeping him sane.
âYouâre perfect,â he murmurs against your lips. âDo you know that? Perfect.â
âIâm really notââ
âYou are. For me. Right now.â His hands slide lower on your back, pulling you impossibly closer. âPerfect.â
You kiss him to shut him up, and he makes a soundâpleased and hungry and almost pained. His hand fists in your hair, angling your head so he can kiss you deeper.
âI want you,â he breathes when you finally pull apart. âGod, I want you.â
âI want you too, Sylus.â
âCome home with me.â His forehead rests against yours. âPlease. I justâI need more time with you. Iâm not ready for tonight to end.â
You want to say yes. Want it so badly it physically hurts.
But something holds you back. Some instinct that says if you go home with him tonight, youâll wake up tomorrow and realize youâve fallen too far, too fast. That youâll be in over your head before you even realize youâre drowning.Â
âI canât. Not tonight.â
He pulls back to look at you, disappointment barely visible before it tempers to understanding. âFair answer.â
âItâs not that I donât want toââ
âI know, sweetie.â He kisses your forehead. âWe have time. Iâm not going anywhere.â
You keep dancing. Keep touching. Keep existing in this bubble where nothing else matters.
Youâre dizzy. From the drinks. From him. From the way heâs looking at you like youâre the only thing that exists.
Your throat feels tight.
You ignore it. Keep dancing. Itâs probably nothing. Probably just the heat of the club, the exertion.
The tightness gets worse.
You pull back slightly. âSylusââ
âYeah?â Heâs looking at you with such warmth. Such want.
âI feelââ Your chest is tight now. Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. âI think somethingâsââ
Your throat is closing. You canât breathe. Canâtâ
âSweetie?â His expression shifts immediately to alarm. âWhatâs wrong? Talk to meââ
You try to speak. Canât. Your vision is blurring. Your chestâyou canât breatheâ
Your legs give out.
Sylus catches you before you hit the ground, lowering you carefully to the floor.
âHELP!â His voice is loud, commanding, cutting like a blade through the music. âI NEED HELP. NOW!â
The music stops. People are gathering. Someone is on the phone with emergency services.
âWhat is it?â heâs asking frantically, hands on your face, keeping you focused on him. âWhere does it hurt?â
You canât answer. Canât breathe. Everything is tightening, darkening, slipping.
Your hand lifts weakly, pressing against your leg in a desperate mimic of a stabbing gesture. He goes still, tracking the movementâthen his eyes widen.
"Her bag," he barks. "I NEED HER BAG."
Someone hands it over amidst the chaos, and he tears it open without hesitation, dumping the contents on the floor: Wallet. Keys. Phone. Lip gloss.
And thereâyour EpiPen.
He grabs it with shaking hands, staring at it like heâs never seen one before. Maybe he hasnât.
âHow do Iââ Heâs reading the instructions printed on the side, hands trembling so badly he almost drops it. âOkay. Okay. Remove cap. Hold against outer thighââ
His free hand pulls your dress up slightly, finding bare skin.
âThis is going to hurt. Iâm so sorryââ
The injection is sharp and immediate. You gaspâair flooding back in shallow, wheezing gasps. Your throat opens just enough to breathe.
âThatâs it. Breathe. Just breathe. I've got you.â His hand is on your face, thumb stroking your cheek. âAmbulance is coming. Youâre going to be okay. Just stay with me.â
You try to nod, try to show him you understand, but everything is swimming. Your vision keeps blurring. Your chest still feels too tight.
âDo you have an emergency contact?â Someone is asking. âSomeone we should call?â
âHer phone,â Sylus says, and someone hands it to him. He pulls up your emergency contact. Thereâs only one name listed:
Zayne Li.
His face goes white.
âIs thisââ He looks at you. âYour doctor. Is his name Zayne?â
You manage a small nod.
You see it happen, the moment everything clicks into place. The recognition. The horror. The understanding of exactly who you've been living with. Who youâve been wanting.
âFuck,â he breathes. âFuck.â
But thereâs no time to process. He hits the contact. Holds the phone to his ear.
He picks up on the first ring.
âHello?â Zayneâs voice comes through, a little worried, like he knows somethingâs wrong just from seeing your number. âDo you need me to come get you? I can be there inââ
Sylus closes his eyes. âDoctor Li.â
Zayneâs entire world stops for a fraction of a second.
Itâs a voice he hasnât heard in seven years. A voice he thought heâd successfully buried under years of work and distance and the careful construction of a new life. A voice that belongs to someone heâs tried very, very hard to forget.
chaatz!!đ (read the "cha" as the "cha" of chaconne) â it means darling/love in german but actually it is spelled "schatz" ANYWAYS...
MAY I JOIN THE TAG LIST TOO?! đ„čđđŒ cuz every damn time I miss your amazing blog posts. AND I DONT WANT TO.
i feel like an old and clumsy lady that can't use her phone, when it comes to tumblrđ€§đ i'm sorry for this, iloveyouthođ
A NICKNAME??!!! WAAAHHHHH THAT IS SO CUTE :,) omg omg i feel so loved đâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
yes yes!!! omg don't apologize, as a fellow grandma tumblr user i rly need to figure out how to organize things like this đ so ty for bearing with me and for wanting to read my works omg UR DARLING!! <3 <3
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I caught up on Lie to Me on ao3 and I am completely blown away. To say I devoured your work over the last week is an understatement, you are brilliant uwu Bless you and your contributions friend. Your Sylus is my favorite Sylus by far c:<
OH MY GOODNESS!!!! iâm emotional WOW my imposter syndrome rly needed to hear this today, thank u SO dearly, friend!!! :,)
well i have a million more scenarios i wanna throw sylus into so iâm glad u enjoy reading him as much as i enjoy writing him â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
i would actually explode if older zayne called me princess
is this a sign to change my in-game nickname
if butler!zayne isnât a sign babe I DONâT KNOW WHAT ISâŠâŠâŠ
Princess. He's called you that since you were small, since you used to stomp your foot and demand things and he'd raise an eyebrow and say as you wish, princess.
Except now his tongue is on your body and your ass is pressed where his cock strains against his pajama pants and the word means something it was never supposed to mean.
iâm so very glad to see u enjoyed this one ;-) <3 ILY!!! maybe i will crosspost soonâŠâŠâŠâŠ.
lie to me chapter 4 iâm SCREAMING it burns. but i love it. keep feeding us this is my new bedtime story
AHHHHHHH TYSM FOR READING iâm honored to be bedtime story-worthy â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž well i hope ur buckled up bc the slow burn has just begunâŠâŠâŠ
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â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
âI told you. I'm going out.â
âOut.â He repeats the word like it tastes wrong. âWith whom?â
You canât bring yourself to answer. Zayne's hands slide away from your shoulders, but he doesnât step back. His palms find the counter on either side of you, gripping the marble edge, caging you inâso close you can feel the heat of him against your bare back, his breath unsteady at your neck.
âWith whom?âÂ
synopsis: the house you built with zayne starts to collapse under the weight of sylus's devotion.
âWe have oat milk. I need regular milk for the dessert I want to try.â
âWhat dessert?â
âPanna cotta. Thought Iâd finally attempt something that requires more than mixing things in a bowl.â
âAnd youâre making this for...?â
âFor you, obviously. Someone has to feed your sugar addiction.â You give him a knowing look. âIâve seen your secret chocolate stash in your office. Donât even try to deny it.â
âThatâs for emergencies.â
âWhat kind of emergencies require dark chocolate?â
âLong surgeries. Difficult patients.â His lips twitch. âStubborn women who ignore medical advice and test my patience.â
Youâre pushing the cart through the produce section while Zayne examines apples with what can only be described as surgical precision.
âThese are overripe,â he says, setting one back carefully.
âTheyâre apples, not organs. Just pick some.â
âI have standards.â
âYou have issues,â you tell him, but youâre smiling. This is normal. Easy. Your Saturday routineâgrocery shopping together, him being unnecessarily particular about produce, you teasing him for it.
He places three perfect apples in the cart with care. âWhatâs next on the list?â
You consult the list on your phone. âCoffee. âThe good kind,â you wrote. Whatâs the bad kind?â
âThe kind you bought last time.â
âIt was on sale!â
âIt tasted like punishment.â
Youâre laughing, turning down the coffee aisle, when an older woman smiles at you both. âYou two are just adorable. How long have you been married?â
You stand there frozen for a second before catching up to him.
Your mind is reeling. Married. She thought you were married. And Zayne justâwent with it. Didnât correct her. Said three years like it was true.
Three years. Itâs how long you've been living together. How long heâs been taking care of you. How long youâve been doing thisâgrocery shopping on Saturdays, him cooking for you, falling asleep on his couch during movie nights, wearing his clothes.
Three years of playing house without ever acknowledging what it looks like from the outside.
What it feels like from the inside.
âWhy did you say that?â you ask quietly.
âEasier than explaining the actual situation.â Heâs studying coffee bags now, not looking at you. âThis one. The dark roast.â
But your heart is still pounding. Because for a second let yourself imagine it. Actually being married to Zayne. Waking up next to him every morning. Not as his patient or his roommate or his responsibility, but as his wife.
And the thought didnât scare you.
It should have. It didnât.
âThe imported kind is better,â heâs saying, adding a dark blue bag to the cart.
âThatâs twenty dollars for coffee.â
âIt doesnât taste like punishment.â
You push the cart along, still thinking about the woman. About three years. About how easy it was for her to see what youâve both been tiptoeing around all this time.
Youâre in the dairy aisle, him comparing expiration dates on milk, when he says it.
âI got us tickets to the new exhibit at the museum,â he says casually, eyes still on the milk. âThe one on ancient civilizations. It opens tomorrow. I thought we could go. Make an evening of it.â
Your heart skips. The ancient civilizations exhibit. Youâd mentioned it weeks agoâshowed him the article, talked about how they were bringing in artifacts from three different museums, pieces that were rarely displayed together. How youâd been counting down the days for it to come to Linkon.
He remembered. Of course he remembered.
âOh."
âOur tickets are for six o'clock. We could get dinner after.â He puts the milk in the cart, finally looking at you. Thereâs something hopeful in his expression, something almost vulnerable. âI made a reservation at that Italian place weâve been meaning to try. The one with theââ
âThe wine list I wanted to see,â you finish quietly. He remembered that, too.
âThat same one.â Thereâs a small smile on his face now, pleased that you remember. Expectant. Like heâs waiting for you to be excited. âWhat do you think?â
Tomorrow. Sunday. When youâre supposed to see Sylus.
Heâs planned this. Remembered the exhibit you wanted to see, got tickets before they sold out, made dinner reservations at a place you mentioned once in passing. Heâs trying. Actually trying to spend time with you doing something you care about.
And you have to say no.
The words taste like ash in your mouth.
âI would love to. So much. But IâŠcanât. I already have plans.â
He goes very still. âPlans.â
âYeah. IâmâIâm going out tomorrow night.â
The change in his expression is subtle. But you know him well enough to see itâthe way his jaw tightens, the way his eyes shutter.
âI should have asked first. That was presumptuous of me.â
âNo, itâs notâyou didnât knowââ
âItâs fine.â But his voice is flat now. âWe can go another time.â
âZayneââ
âWhat else do we need?â Heâs already moving down the aisle, not looking at you.
The guilt crushes you. âIâm sorry. I didnâtâif Iâd known you wanted to go, I could haveââ
âYou donât need to apologize for having plans.â Heâs examining yogurt containers now with unnecessary focus. âYouâre allowed to have a life.â
The words sting more than if heâd been angry.
âWe can reschedule,â you offer weakly. âNext weekend, maybeââ
âMaybe.â But he doesn't sound convinced. He puts Greek yogurt in the cart. âThis is the kind you prefer, right?â
âYeah.â
Heâs still being considerate. Still taking care of you. Even though you just turned him down. Even though you can see the disappointment heâs trying to hide.
You finish shopping in near silence. He paysâhe always pays. You load groceries into the car, Zayne carrying most of the bags because he insists.
âI really am sorry,â you say as he closes the trunk. âAbout tomorrow.â
âDonât be.â He looks at you then, and something in his expression makes your throat tight. âI should have checked with you first. That was my mistake.â
âIt wasnât a mistakeââ
âIt was.â He opens your car door for you. âYou have your own life. Your own plans. I canât expect you to always be available.â
The words are reasonable. Logical. Everything Zayne always is.
Still, they sit wrongâheavy and crowded between you on the drive home, split between the groceries in the trunk and your phone burning a hole in your pocket.
The package arrives later that evening.
Youâre sprawled out across your bed, half-watching some cooking show on your laptop, when the doorbell rings. The delivery man hands you a large, elegant boxâmatte black with a silk ribbon.
Thereâs no return address, but you know immediately who itâs from.
You carry it inside, taking it back to your bedroom. Thereâs a note tucked under the ribbon, heavy cardstock with bold handwriting:
The little green number is for tomorrow night. I canât wait to see you in this.
The shirt is for right nowâIâve been thinking about you wearing it since the moment I picked it out.Â
Stop stealing from him. This oneâs yours to keep.
âS
You open the box carefully. Inside, wrapped in tissue paper, is a dress. Not just any dressâitâs stunning. Deep emerald silk that catches the light, short and elegant with a halter neck. Backless. Expensive. The kind of thing youâd never buy for yourself.
Underneath it, folded neatly, is a shirt. Black, soft cotton, clearly worn-in. His.
You pull it out and bring it to your face without thinking. It smells like his cologneâdark, woodsy, expensive. Nothing like Zayne's clean, crisp scent.Â
Not that you're comparing.
You take the dress to the bathroom to try it on. It slides on like water, the cool silk against your skin, draping across your body perfectly. But the halter ties are impossible to reach, dangling uselessly down your back. You twist, trying to grab them, arms at an awkward angle.
âDo you need help?â
You freeze at the sound of Zayneâs voice from the doorway.
âIâyes. The ties. I can't reach them.â
He doesnât answer right away.
You glance over your shoulder and there he is, completely still, one hand braced on the doorframe like he had to forcibly stop himself from walking in. Heâs still in his work clothesâdress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, silver glasses perched on his nose. His jaw tightens. His eyes flicker lower down your body, then snap back up, but not fast enough to hide the way they darken.
He steps into the small bathroom without a word. Itâs too small a space for both of you. Heâs too close, his presence filling every inch of available air.
âTurn around.â He says without meeting your eyes. âAnd hold your hair back for me.â
You face the mirror, watching him in the reflection as he gathers the silk ties.
He loops the fabric once, twice, but his movements are slower than necessary. His fingers graze your skin, just once, and he stills again. His breath catches so subtly you almost miss it. After tightening the knot, his hands linger at your neck, then slide down to your shouldersâwarm and heavy and maybe even a bit possessive.Â
You shift under the weight of his palms, the silk brushing the tops of your thighs like a secret. The dress fits perfectlyâobscenely so. You donât need to turn around to know what Zayne is thinking. You can see it, raw and unfiltered, in the mirror. His eyes stay locked on the curve of your back, the dip of your waist, the way the fabric clings like it was made to be peeled off.
Made for someone else's hands.
âWhat's this all about?â His voice is low and controlled, but you can hear the strain underneath.
Something sinks in your chest. âWhat do you mean?â
âThe dress. The expensive packaging I saw by your door.â His eyes meet yours in the mirror. âYour plans for tomorrow night.â
Your heart hammers. Itâs like being caught in a spotlightâhis gaze, the words, the mirror. All of it pinning you in place.
âI told you. I'm going out.â
âOut.â He repeats the word like it tastes wrong. âWith whom?â
You canât bring yourself to answer.
Zayne's hands slide away from your shoulders, but he doesnât step back. His palms find the counter on either side of you, gripping the marble edge, caging you inâso close you can feel the heat of him against your bare back, his breath unsteady at your neck.
âWith whom?âÂ
Youâre trapped between him and the sink. Between his body and the mirror.
This moment was inevitable, really. You couldnât hide from him forever. But the mirror makes it harderâforces you to watch your own mouth form the betrayal.
âSylus.â The name feels like a confession. âIâm going to see Sylus.â
His grip on the counter tightens. You watch his knuckles go white in the mirror, watch the muscles of his forearms flex beneath the pale lines of his old scars.
âYouâre seeing him again.â His voice is firm, but you can hear it fraying at the edges. âYouâve been talking to him all week. Thatâs why youâve been so distracted. So different.â
âYes.â
âAfter everything I said. After I asked you to stay away.â
âYou didnât ask. You ordered.â You turn your head slightly, not quite looking at him. âAnd you never told me why.â
He closes his eyes, and you can feel itâthe way every muscle in his body goes taut, the way his breathing stops.
When they open again, thereâs something wounded there. A war happening behind his eyes that you donât entirely understand.
âYou donât know him.â It comes out strained. Tense. âYou met him one time.â
âThatâs what dates are for, Zayne. Getting to know someone.â
âThis isnât you. You donât do this.â You can see the veins in his forearms jump with each word. âYou think things through. Youâre careful.â
âMaybe Iâm tired of being careful.â
âOr maybe heâs in your head.â His voice is tight. âMaking you think you want things you donât actually want.â
âHow do you possibly know that?â The question bursts out. âYou wonât tell me anything real. JustâŠvague threats with no evidence. What actually happened with you two?â
âThatâs none of your concern.â
âIt is my concern!â You speak a little too fast, a little too loud. âIf heâs truly dangerous, I deserve to know how. Did he hurt you?â
His pause is a fraction too long.
âNot physically.â
The two words are enough. Itâs the way he says themâquiet and clipped, like heâs bracing for a blow that already came.Â
And he still wonât look at you. Not even a glance.
His eyes fix on the wall instead, distant and unblinking, like if he focuses hard enough, he can keep the memories where they belong. Locked down. Buried deep, deep down where even he canât find them.
âZayne.â Your voice softens. âWhat did heââ
âIâm not discussing this.â His tone is defensive now, sharp and loaded with everything heâs holding back. âNot now. Not with you.â
âWhy not?â
His nostrils flare. He shakes his head, jaw tight like heâs biting back too many answers and none of them safe to say. âBecause telling you won't change anything.â
âIt might change my mind.â
âWould it?â He finally looks at you. His eyes are dark, intense, searching your face for something. âOr would you go anyway? Because you want to prove something. Because heâs paying attention to you.â
The accusation hurts more than it should. Because maybe thereâs truth in it. Maybe you are craving the attention. Maybe youâre being reckless. Maybe you have no idea what youâre getting yourself into.
âThatâs not fair.â
âIsnât it?â His voice is quiet. Devastatingly quiet. âBe honest. Would anything I say actually stop you from seeing him?â
You open your mouth. Close it. Because you donât know. You genuinely donât know if youâd stay away even if he told you everything. Even if he gave you proof that Sylus was dangerous.
âItâs something I need to find out for myself.â
His eyes still study your face in the mirror. âAnd what if finding out means getting hurt?â
âThen I get hurt," you say matter-of-factly. "Then at least Iâd actually be living my life instead of justâexisting in it.â
The words hit hard. You can see it in the way he flinches, in the way his throat works when he swallows.
âIs that what you think Iâm doing? Existing?â
âWhat else would you call it? You work. You come home. You take care of me like itâs an obligation. You neverââ You stop yourself.
âI never what?"
âNothing.â
You try to turn away, but he moves with you, caging you harder against the counter until the marble bites into your hips.
âNo. Say it.â His breath ghosts over your ear, and the tremor it sends down your spine is instant. âI never what?â
âYou never let yourself want anything!â You donât bother hiding the fury anymore. âYouâre so careful, so controlled, soâsafe. Donât you ever want something just because you want it? Not because itâs logical or right or professional?â
His hands flex where they grip the counter like he doesnât know what to do with them. For a moment, it looks like he might step backârun from this like he always does.
Instead, he moves closer.
âYou have no idea.â His forehead hovers at the nape of your neck, chest brushing your spine with every uneven inhale, like he's grounding himself on the shape of you. âWhat I want.â
âThen tell me, Zayne.â
The silence stretches. Heâs so close, looking at you like heâs never looked at you before. Not the patient. Not the obligation. Just you.
And something in him is breaking.
You can feel him trembling with the effort of holding himself still, feel the heat of his body radiating over you like a current, and every second he doesnât speak feels louder than words.
âTell me,â you whisper again. âPlease.â
For a moment, he doesnât move. Doesnât breathe. The bathroom feels too small, the air too thick, everything balanced on the edge of something that could shatter everything between you.
Then his hands fall away from the counter.
Cold air rushes in where his warmth was. You feel the absence of him like a physical thing. Like something vital has been taken away.
âLock the door next time you're changing.â His voice is flat as he moves toward the hallway. âAnd enjoy your date tomorrow. I hope Sylus is everything you think he is.â
You hear the finality in the way he says it. And by the time it sinks in, heâs already gone.
You stand there for a moment in the empty bathroom, suddenly aware of how ridiculous you lookâdressed up in expensive silk with nowhere to go, makeup-free and barefoot. Walk back to your room carrying it like something precious and hang it carefully on the back of your door.
The black shirtâSylusâs shirtâis still on your bed where you left it. You pick it up, pull it on, let the fabric swallow you.
Your phone buzzes on the bed.
Sylus: Did it arrive? Do you like it?
You stare at the screen, heart still pounding from the bathroom encounter. From Zayneâs voice, his retreat, the ache he left behind.
This is different. Lighter. Easier.
You: it's beautiful
Sylus: Thatâs not what I asked. Do you like it?
You: yes
You: i like it a lot
Sylus: Come over tonight. Try it on for me properly. We can call it a rehearsal.
You laughâactually laugh, which feels ridiculous after the way your chest felt splintered five minutes ago.
You: youâre insatiable.
Your phone vibrates againâthis time with a voice note.
You hesitate, thumb hovering over it. Then you press play.
Sylus: âNow, troubleâyou say Iâm insatiable like you donât love every bit of it. Like you didnât type that with a smile. I can hear it in your voiceâoh wait, you're not using yours yet. Tsk. Weâll fix that tomorrow. Wear the dress. Iâll take care of the rest.âÂ
You bite your lip, because heâs not wrong. Youâre already grinning like a fool.Â
âAre you in my shirt yet, kitten? I hope it falls on your thighs just right, teasing you every time you move. I bet youâre warm underneath. Squirming a little just thinking about seeing me tomorrow, arenât you?â
Your breath catches. You are squirming, damn him. He shouldnât know you this well, not from a distance, not already. And yet your body hums at the sound of his voice like itâs been hard-wired to respond to him.
âBe good tonight. Or donât. Either way, Iâll see you in my dreamsâand I expect you to show up wearing my shirt.â
Thereâs heat rising under your skin againâdifferent from before. Not guilt. Not heartbreak. Just the hot, addictive promise of being wanted.
You set your phone on your nightstand, still smiling, and wrap your arms tight around yourself. Sylusâs shirt smells like him. Feels like him. Like permission to want things. Like someone who isnât afraid to say what they mean.
But when you close your eyes, you feel Zayneâs hands on your shoulders. His breath on your neck. The way he caged you in and almost broke. Almost said something real. Almost gave you what youâve been wanting for three years.
You want them both.
One who wonât admit he wants you. One who wonât stop saying it.
One who knows your body inside and out but wonât touch you the way you need. One who wants to touch you everywhere but doesnât know you yet.
You donât know how to choose between them. Donât know if you even want to. Don't even know if you're allowed to.
Tomorrow night, youâre going to wear that dress. Youâre going to let Sylus take you to his club. Youâre going to let yourself want something, be wanted by someone who isnât afraid to show it.
But tonight, youâre alone in an apartment that feels too big, wearing one manâs shirt while thinking about another manâs hands, and thereâs a closed office door between you and three years of almosts.
âYou want to know what my fantasy is? Watching you get everything you want. Everything you deserve. Seeing you touched the way youâve been imagining. Being the one to give that to you.â Sylus's voice drops lower. âBoth of us giving that to you.â
synopsis: what starts as harmless texting with sylus turns into something addictive, complicated, and a little dangerousâand for once, you decide not to be the good girl zayne expects you to be.
A text from Sylus here and there. Good morning messages that make you check your phone before youâre fully awake. Observations about his day, questions about yours. Back-and-forth conversation that makes the day feel less monotonous. Casual. Friendly.
Until itâs not.
By Wednesday, youâre texting constantly. Zayne notices at breakfast. He notices everything about youâyour elevated heart rate before you even feel anxious, the slight limp after a hard training session, the way you pick at your food when somethingâs bothering you.
And now, the way you keep glancing at your phone.
Youâve positioned it face-down on the table, but youâre hyper-aware of every buzz against the surface.
Buzz.
You take a sip of your coffee, keeping your eyes on your place.
Buzz.
You reach for the jam, smoothing it across your toast way too carefully, like putting all of your energy into your breakfast will stop your heart from pounding and your phone from vibrating.Â
Zayne looks up from his tablet. âYou can check that.â
âItâs fine. Just Tara.â
âTara.â His eyes monitor you with the same look he gives when he's evaluating symptoms. âSheâs been texting you frequently.âÂ
âSheâs...chatty.â The lie sits wrong in your throat, but you force casualness into your voice. âYou know how she is.â
Heâs quiet for a moment, returning his attention to his tablet. You can feel him still watching you peripherally. âI have a long shift today. Emergency consult, then a difficult surgery. Iâll be late.â
Another late night. Another dinner alone. Youâve stopped being surprised.
âOkay.â
âThere's leftover soup in the fridge. The one you like.â He stands, gathering his keys, his badge, his wallet. âHeat it properly this time. Donât just eat it cold because you're too impatient.â
You canât help but smile. âIâll heat it.â
âAnd if you go outââ He pauses, lacing up his shoes by the door. âLet me know where you are.â
âI'm not going anywhere. I have training this afternoon,â you tell him, and the words are finally honest. âAfter that, my only plans involve the couch, bad TV, and an unhealthy amount of chocolate chip ice cream.â
âThereâs no such thing.â You can hear the grin in his voice, and with it, a flicker of ease. Like your answer let him breathe again. âSounds like a solid evening.â
âIâm a woman of simple pleasures.â
Heâs quiet for a moment, adjusting his bag on his shoulder.Â
âI worry less when youâre home.â He says it simply, like itâs a fact. Like worrying about you could never not be an option. âThough you somehow manage to find trouble even here.â
âThat was one time!â You scoff, sticking your tongue out at him playfully. âAnd the kitchen fire was barely a fire.â
âIt required a fire extinguisher. That qualifies as a fire,â he corrects, but there's the ghost of a smile on his lips. It fades as his eyes cut to where your phone still lies on the table, then drag back to your face, studying you intently.Â
You force yourself not to look at it. To keep your attention on him.
âText me when youâre done with training,â his words sound detached now, like he's already pulled back behind the wall. âLet me know youâre alright.â
You nod. âI will.â
He pauses at the door, keys in hand. âAndâthank you. For having breakfast with me.â
The words catch you off guard. âWe have breakfast together all the time.â
âI know. Butââ He stops. âI appreciate it. Thatâs all.â
Thereâs something underneath it. Something unspoken. But before you can ask, heâs already heading out.
âTake care today,â he says quietly. âAnd donât work too hard.â
âSame to you.â
You let your coffee grow cold after he leaves, pick at your food a little while longer.Â
When your phone buzzes again, you reach for it.
Sylus: Ignoring me already? I'm wounded.
Sylus: Your doctor is watching you, isn't he? I can tell.
It's silly, this whole thingâhiding your phone like you're some lovesick teenager sneaking around after curfew. You usually hate feeling too young, too inexperienced. But something about Sylus makes you feel giddy. Daring. Alive.
You: how can you possibly tell?
Sylus: Because you're not responding. And you want to. I can feel it.
And somehow...you do. You text him throughout the day between drills and lectures. He asks about your trainingânot just surface-level things, but questions born out of genuine curiosity. Asks if you got hurt during sparring (yes, bruised ribs). Asks if you won (also yes, by a long shot). He tells you heâs not surprised.
He responds with observations about the club, about dealing with suppliers, about the mundane aspects of running a business that shouldn't be interesting but somehow are when he tells you about them.
Itâs nothing. Just two people killing time. Thatâs what you keep telling yourself, anyway.
And yetâfor the fourth night in a row, here you are again. Curled up under the covers with the lights off, phone in hand, smiling like an idiot every time it buzzes.
Sylus: Still thinking about me?
You: bold assumption
Sylus: Not an assumption. A hope.
You: well arenât you sweet.
Sylus: Iâm many things. Sweet isnât usually one of them. But you seem to bring out interesting things in me.
You: like what?
Sylus: Honesty. Impatience. An alarming lack of focus.
You: poor baby :(
Sylus: Youâre cruel. I like that about you.
You: i have many likable qualities.
Sylus: Tell me three.
Itâs such a simple request, but it stops you cold. People ask about your health, your training progress, your career goals. People donât ask what you think is good about yourself. Especially not someone who might actually care.
You: seriously?
Sylus: Seriously. Three things about yourself that you think are likable. Go. I want to know if your list matches mine.
You: you have a list?
Sylus: I've had one since about five minutes after you walked into my club.Â
Sylus: So. Three things. Tell me.
You: this feels like a trap.
Sylus: It's not. I'm genuinely curious what you think of yourself.
It shouldnât matter what he thinks. But youâre not used to someone trying to peel back the layers. And definitely not used to liking the attention this much.
You: fine. i'm...persistent. I don't give up on things easily.
Sylus: I can tell. Thatâs a rare thing. What else?
You: i'm honest. sometimes to a fault.
Sylus: Thatâs not a flaw. Not with me. Now one more.
You: iâm...i don't know. this is weird.
Sylus: Finish the list.Â
You type slowly, each word a little harder than the last. You could say something easy, something that doesnât matter. But you donât want to give him the version of you that hides.
You: i donât hold onto people easily. but once i doâŠi donât really let go
The three little dots appear immediately.
Sylus: Then hold on. Iâll make it worth your while.
You release a breath you didnât realize you were holding.
Sylus: Now do you want to hear my list?
You: should I be worried?
Sylus: Probably.Â
Sylus: First: You're brave. You came to my club, faked taking the serum, and didn't back down when I called you out on it. That takes courage.
You: or stupidity
Sylus: Youâre not stupid. Donât insult my taste.
Sylus: Which brings me to #2: You're sharp. Quick. You see through bullshit immediately and you're not afraid to call it out. I watched you shut down three different guys at the bar before I even came over. You were quite impressive.
You blink at your phone. He was watching you before he approached? You didn't even notice him until he was right there.
Sylus: Third: You're reactive. Not just physically, though that's...memorable. But emotionally. Youâre passionate. You feel things. You don't hide it even when you probably should.
You stare at the screen, your heart doing something complicated at the way he seems to see straight through you.
You: well, if we're making lists...
Sylus: Oh? Do share.
You hesitate for a moment. Because this feels different than listing things about yourself. This feels like admitting something. Like showing your hand.Â
But he showed you his. It's only fair.
You: you're direct. no games. i appreciate that more than you know.
Sylus: I wouldnât waste your time with anything less than the truth.Â
Sylus: Keep going.
You: you're confident without being arrogant. or maybe you're both, but you make it work somehow.
Sylus: I'll take it.
Your fingers still mid-sentence. This one feels harder to say. More revealing.
You: andâŠyou make me feel seen. not like something fragile or in need of protection. just...like iâm interesting exactly as i am.
The three dots appear and disappear several times. When his response finally comes, it's simpler than you expect.
Sylus: You are interesting. Exactly as you are.
Sylus: And for the record, you're anything but fragile. Anyone who treats you like you are is a fool.
Your throat tightens. He doesnât know about Zayneânot specifically. Doesnât know who you live with or how carefully you're monitored or why. But somehow he sees it anyway. Sees the ways youâre treated like something delicate. Something that might break.
You: you pay a lot of attention.
Sylus: Only to things worth paying attention to.
Sylus: Let me pay more attention. Let me learn the rest. At my club.Â
Sylus: This whole pen pal situation is charming, truly. But itâs getting in the way of all the things I want to do to you that require significantly less distance between us.
You have to pull the covers over your face for a second. This is so dumb. So dangerous. So fast.
You type, then delete. Then type again.
You: i donât knowâŠthat sounds an awful lot like a date.
Sylus: That's because it is one. I thought I was being obvious.
Sylus: And what don't you know? Whether you want to see me? Or whether you're allowed to?
The question hits too close. You blink at the screen, unsure how to answer.Â
As if he can sense your unease, he texts first:
Sylus: Let me make this simple for you.
Sylus: I'll send a car. And a dress, if you'd like.
You roll your eyes, but your pulse betrays you. Itâs absurd. Over the top. And wildly, stupidly effective.
You: you don't need to send me anything.
Sylus: I want to. Let me.
You: what if it doesnât fit?
Sylus: It will. Trust me. I have excellent visual memory.
You: thatâs not creepy at all.
Sylus: Call it what you want. I prefer detail-oriented.
Sylus: So, while I'm at itâany other details I should be aware of? Music preferences? Strong feelings about wine? Turn-ons I should know about?
You: classical is good. no sweet wines. and you're not getting the third one that easily.
You think about watching people at the clubâhow loose they were on the serum, how unguarded. You faked it last time for a reason. The idea of saying things without your usual filter, of not being able to control what comes outâŠitâs not exactly appealing.
You: there is one thingâŠ
Sylus: Anything. Iâm listening. Closely.
You: no truth serum, right?
Sylus: Not unless you want it. But I donât think we need it.
You: why not?
Sylus: Because you're already honest with me. And I plan to be honest with you.
Sylus: The serum is optional. Always.
Something in your chest gets lighter.
You: okay
Sylus: Okay you believe me? Or okay you'll come see me?
You: okay i believe you.
Sylus: Iâll allow it. For now.
Sylus: Now, do you prefer long or short?
You: hm?
Sylus: The dress. Long or short? I'm trying to picture you in both and I need you to narrow it down for me before I order one of each.
You: you're not ordering two dresses.
Sylus: Not if you tell me which one you prefer. So. Long or short?
You: ...short
Sylus: Color preference?
You: you're really doing this, huh?
Sylus: I'm really doing this. And Iâm savoring every minute of it. Color?
You: i like darker colors
Sylus: Perfect. I can work with that.
Sylus: The offer stands whenever youâre ready. Though for what it's worth, I hope it's soon.
You stare at the words, and you canât help but start imagining it. A short dress in deep green or midnight blue, something that fits right, makes you feel confident. Walking into the club wearing something he picked out for you. The way his crimson eyes would light up the second he saw you.
If he knew the way your stomach just flipped, heâd never let you live it down.
You: weâll see. maybe iâm busy.
Sylus: You're not. But your attempt at playing hard to get is admirable.
You: youâre full of yourself.
Sylus: Iâm optimistic.
Sylus: Goodnight, sweetie.
You: goodnight, sylus
You set your phone down, heart racing. You've been seen by Zayne for three yearsâmonitored, cared for, watched over. But this is different. Sylus sees you and doesn't immediately try to protect you from yourself.
He justâŠwants you. Not to fix. Not to save. Just to have.
And youâre not sure when that stopped sounding like a bad idea.
Youâve been texting back and forth for a few days now. It's constant. Addictive. Every time your phone buzzes, you hope it's him.Â
Sylus: I dreamt about you last night.
The text comes at 8 AM on Thursday. You're eating breakfast, alone. Zayne left early for work.
Your mouth goes dry.
You: fine. iâll bite. what kind of dream?
Sylus: The kind where you were wearing that black dress you had on the night we met. And I was slowly taking it off you.
You nearly drop your phone. The two of you have been flirting, sure. But this? This is new territory.Â
You: oh wow
Sylus: Too much? I can be good if you want me to be.
You: i didn't say that
Sylus: Dangerous girl. What are you wearing right now?
You look down at your makeup-stained t-shirt and mismatched socks. Youâve been nothing but honest with him, and see no use in starting to lie now.
You: pajamasâŠnot cute ones.
Sylus: Iâll be the judge of that. Send me a picture.
You: absolutely not
Sylus: Worth a try.Â
Sylus: And for what it's worth, I think you'd look good in anything. Or nothing.
You: subtle.
Sylus: Subtle has never been in my vocabulary, sweetie.Â
Sylus: I want you. I've wanted you since you walked into my club. And if I have to pry you out of your doctorâs perfectly sanitized hands to prove it, I will.
The conversation shifts back to safer territory, but thereâs a new charge underneath everything now. An awareness that wasnât quite there before.
And he doesn't stop asking.
Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, he finds new ways to invite you back.
Sylus: Come to Obsidian tonight. Iâm prepared to plead my case.Â
Sylus: And I'm very good at using my mouth to get what I want.
You: i'm sure you are. but no.
Sylus: You're killing me here.
You: good. rejection builds character.
Sylus: I have plenty of character. What I don't have is you in my club.
You: youâll survive
Sylus: You're cruel. Has anyone ever told you that?
You: actually, yeah. this guy i've been texting won't stop complaining about it.
Sylus: He sounds like a masochist. Probably has his hand halfway down his pants just thinking about the word ânoâ coming out of your mouth.
You: oh my god
Sylus: And heâs right. Youâre cruel and beautiful and I want to see you. Soon.Â
He makes you feel powerful. Wanted. Like your resistance is something he enjoys rather than something he's trying to break through.
He makes surrender feel like a game. One youâre starting to lose on purpose.Â
You: soon.
On Friday, you're doing laundry.
Itâs a mundane kind of task that usually bores you to tears. But today you're feeling...good. Training went well this morningâyou finally nailed that technique youâve been struggling with. The sun is streaming through the windows. Your playlist is hitting all the right songs without skips.
Youâre folding Zayneâs clothes, separating his shirts from yours, when you pull out the white button-down. The soft one. The one youâve been stealing for months now because itâs absurdly comfortable.
On impulse, you slip it on over your tank top and shorts. Itâs enormous on you, hem brushing the tops of your thighs, sleeves falling past your hands. You roll them up, leaving a few buttons undone at the top.
You catch your reflection in the hallway mirror and pause.
You look...pretty.Â
The shirt is swallowing your frame, your hair is pulled up messily, sunlight streams in behind you. Thereâs something about itâthe casual intimacy of wearing someone elseâs clothes, of being comfortable in your own space.
Itâs too intimate to think about for too long.Â
So you donât.
You lift your phone and snap a photo. Nothing suggestiveâjust you in the shirt, a small smile you didnât mean to make, laundry basket visible in the background. Casual. Unexciting.Â
You pull up Sylusâs contact and type a caption. Short enough to pretend you donât care, sharp enough to hide how much you do:
You: donât get used to this
You hit send before your courage can evaporate, and immediately return to sorting underwear like itâs the most fascinating thing on the planet.
Your phone stays quiet for a few minutes. You assume heâs busyâheâs always busy during the day, running the club, dealing with business matters he patiently explains to you that you still donât fully understand.
Then it rings.
Your heart skips a beat.
Heâs never called before.Â
Itâs always been texts, back and forth, safe behind screens. A call is different. A call is real.Â
You stare at his name on the screen, frozen. It rings again. Again.Â
Your hands are shaking slightly when you finally answer.
âHi.â
âYou.âÂ
The word comes out rough. Accusatory. Like youâve committed a crime and heâs caught you red-handed.
His voice sounds different over the phoneâdeeper, more intimate somehow. Strained in a way that sends heat straight through you, wraps around you in a way his texts canât.
Your stomach flips. âMe?â
âYes, you. Do you have any ideaââ He pauses to take a breath that sounds unsteady. âI was in a meeting. Important people. Money on the table. And I looked at my phone and saw you in that shirt and Iââ
He cuts off, and you hear the sound of footsteps, fast and uneven.
âAnd youâŠ?â
âAnd I got hard. Immediately. Sitting across from three suppliers trying to negotiate contracts.â You hear a door close, a lock click. âHad to sit there for thirty seconds trying to focus on inventory numbers while all I could think about was those perfect fucking legs. How much of them I could see. How that shirt barely covers you. How easy it would be to slide my hands up andââÂ
He stops himself, like heâs physically pulling himself back from the edge.
âHad to come up with some bullshit excuse to lock myself in my office before I nearly ruined my pants like some teenage boy whoâs never seen a pair of legs before.â
The image does something sinful to you: his cock straining against his slacks. Having to hide how affected he is from important people during a meeting. Needing to excuse himself because he just couldnât take it anymore.Â
All because of you.
You will your voice to stay neutral, forcing your attention back to the shirt youâre folding even as your thighs press together involuntarily. âThat sounds like a you problem.â
âIt is absolutely a you problem.â He lets out a breath thatâs almost a laugh. âTalk to me. Please. I need to think about anything else, or I'm going to start making poor decisions.â
âMmm,â you hum. âWhat kind of poor decisions?â
âThe kind where I cancel everything and drive over there just to see if youâre wearing anything underneath.â His voice drops deeper. âAre you? Fuckâdonât answer that.â
You can hear itâthe way heâs spiraling. The way the question slipped out before he could stop it.
You bite your lip, loving this a little too much. Loving the way youâve made smooth, confident Sylus lose his composure.Â
âThat shirt is enormous on you, by the way,â he says, clearly trying to redirect to safer territory.Â
Your voice drips with sarcasm. âWow, nothing gets past you, does it?â
âWhose is it?â His tone changes, loses some of that playful edge.
Your pulse quickens. You pull the shirt tighter around yourself. âDoes it matter?â
âTo my ego? Possibly. To my curiosity? Absolutely.â There's a pause. You hear wood creaking as he shifts in his chair. âHold on. Let me guess. Daddy Doctorâs?â
That humiliating nickname makes your face heat. âItâs just a shirt.â
âJust a shirt. Of course.â Heâs clearly not convinced. Actually, he soundsâamused? Intrigued? âSo does your doctor have any idea that you steal his clothes and send photos to strange men you meet at clubs?â
âJust one photo,â you clarify, âto one strange man.â
âThatâs a no, then.â Thereâs something warm in his voice now. âSo he doesnât know youâre doing his laundry right now. Wearing his shirt. Looking like you belong in his space. In his life.â
âItâs notââ
âAnd he certainly doesnât know youâre thinking about him touching you when you put it on.â
Heat crawls up your neck. âI never said I did that.â
âYou didn't have to.â His tone is almost affectionate. âI remember how you felt against me at the club. How you moved under my hands. How you responded to every touch like youâd been starving for it.â He pauses for a beat. âYou donât pull away from touch. You lean into it. Melt into it. Like youâve been waiting your whole life for someone to actually reach for you.â
Your cheeks burn because heâs right. Heâs absolutely right.
You do want to be touched. You do think about Zayne in ways you probably shouldnât. And you are talking to Sylus right now while wearing Zayneâs shirt, which says something about you that youâre not ready to examine.
âItâs not like thatââ
âNo?â he says, not quite teasing, not quite challenging. JustâŠassessing you. âThen tell me. What do you think about when you wear his shirts?â
Your grip on your phone tightens. âWhy do you want to know?â
âBecause Iâm trying to figure out what Iâm competing with. And because Iâm genuinely curious what goes on in that head of yours.â
The word âcompetingâ catches you off guard. Competing. Like itâs one or the other. Like you have to choose. But you don't want to choose. You wantâ
âHonestly?â you say quietly.
âAlways.â
âI think about both of you.â
He doesnât bother trying to contain the low groan that escapes from somewhere deep inside him.Â
âBoth.â He repeats the word slowly, testing it. âExplain that to me.â
You donât know why you say it. Why youâre telling him this now, in the middle of folding laundry. Maybe because he asked. Maybe because he actually wants to know. Maybe because youâre tired of keeping it all locked inside.
âI put it on because it's his. Because itâs comfortable and familiar.â Your voice drops to barely a whisper. âAnd I imagine him noticing. Actually seeing me instead of just monitoring me. Looking at me like Iâm more than just his responsibility.â
âAnd what does he do? In these imaginations?â
Your heart pounds so hard youâre sure he can hear it through the phone.
âHe loses control. Just for a moment. All of the restraint heâs been holding onto justâbreaks. And he touches me like he actually wants to. Like he canât help himself.â
âFuck.â Heâs breathing harder now, the sound humming through you like static. âAnd me? Where do I fit in?â
âI looked in the mirror and thought about you. About how youâd react.â
âThe answer is I lost my damn mind.â He takes an unsteady breath. âHave I not made myself clear? I want you so much I canât think straight. I keep picturing what those legs would feel like wrapped around my waist. How tightly those thighs wouldââ He stops suddenly. You imagine him tipping his head back, running a hand down his face. âBut that's not what you're really asking, is it?â
You donât answer.
âYou want to know if Iâm bothered.â He says it so sincerely. âThat you want him too.â
You swallow hard. â...Yes.â
âIâm not. Iâm the opposite of bothered.â
âWhich is?â
âFascinated. Obsessed. Turned on beyond reason.â He takes a breath. âYou want to know what my fantasy is? Watching you get everything you want. Everything you deserve. Seeing you touched the way youâve been imagining. Being the one to give that to you.â Sylus's voice drops lower. âBoth of us giving that to you.â
âSylusââ His name comes out breathless, needier than you mean for it to.
Thereâs a low, strangled sound on the other end of the line. A groan, maybe. Or a curse. âYou were supposed to help calm me down, sweetie. Not make me fantasize about dragging you under my desk.â
Your hand drifts down without thinking, fingers brushing the hem of Zayneâs shirt, and you can practically feel it: the way heâd sound if you showed up at his office like this, bare-legged and wanting. His chair swiveling as you drop to your knees, pretending youâre there to apologize. The way he'd look at you like he always knew exactly how this would end.
You should probably let it go. Should play nice.
Youâre not feeling nice.
âWell, you did say this was my problem...â Your fingers slip under your shorts, and your skin feels too hot, too sensitive even through the fabric of your underwear. â...so maybe I should help fix it.â
âIndulge me. Iâm all ears.â You can almost hear him lean back in his chair, processing that. âWhatâs your expertly crafted solution to the mess you made?â
âIf I were there right nowââ Your fingers trace slow circles over your underwear, barely a touch. âI could kneel between your legs, under your desk. Help you...relax.â
âRelax.â He sounds darkly amused. âIs that what weâre calling it?â
âWhat would you call it?â
âLetâs see. You, on your knees, under my desk. My hand in your hair, guiding you how I want you. You, looking up at me with those wide, eager eyes while you take every inch of my cock in your mouth like youâve been dying to prove to me just how helpful you can be.âÂ
Thereâs a pause. A long one. When he finally speaks again, his voice is thick with desire. âNo, sweetie, I donât think relaxing is the word that comes to mind.â
Your whole body feels like itâs buzzing. You press your thighs together, then apart again, restless. Aching. Your free hand grips the fabric of Zayneâs shirt like itâs the only thing keeping you grounded.
You press your fingers just slightly where you need them most, and you canât help the small sound that escapes.
âAre youââ You hear fabric rustle, like he's leaning forward. âKitten. Are you touching yourself right now?â
âIââ
The front door opens.
You freeze, hand jerking away like youâve been burned.
âSweetie?â Sylus says. âYou still there?â
You donât answerâjust shove the phone into the laundry basket, covering it haphazardly with clothes. Your hands are shaking as you grab the throw blanket from the back of the couch, pulling it over your bare legs. You snatch up a pair of pants and try to look casual. Normal. Like youâre just folding laundry.
Zayne appears in the doorway.
âI thought you were at work,â you say, voice higher than normal.
âNeeded to grab some files from my office.â His eyes scan youâthe slight tremble in your hands, the sweat on your brow, the color staining your cheeksâand you watch his expression shift. âAre you feeling alright?â
âIâm fine. Justâdoing laundry.â
âYouâre flushed. And your respirationââ His hand comes up to your forehead on instinct, and you flinch before you can stop yourself.
He pauses, hand hovering. âSorry. May I?â
You nod, not trusting your voice.Â
The back of his hand presses against your forehead, clinical and careful. âYou feel warm.â
âI'm fine, reallyââ
âHumor me.â He's already moving toward his medical bag. âThis will only take a minute.â
Youâre acutely conscious of everything: your flushed face. Your elevated heart rate. The wet heat gathering between your thighs. Your phone inside the laundry basket.
Zayne returns with the thermometer.
âOpen your mouth,â he says gently.
The word sends an inappropriate flash through you. After what you were just saying to Sylus. After the image of being on your knees, mouth openâ
You part your lips, face burning, and he slides the thermometer under your tongue. His fingers are cautious, and youâre painfully aware of Sylus listening to all of this. Of what Zayne would think if he knew what you were just doing. What you were just saying.
The wait is eternal. His eyes are focused on you with genuine concern. The thermometer under your tongueâhard, intrusive, nothing like what you were imagining moments ago but somehow making you think of it anyway.Â
It beeps.
âSlightly elevated.â Zayne frowns, checking it again. His knuckle brushes your lower lip as he removes it, and the intimacy of the gesture makes your breath catch. âAre you sure youâre feeling alright?â
He canât read you, and itâs bothering him. You never hide things from him. Nothing like this.
âIâm fine,â you manage. âJustâwarm. From doing laundry.â
âYouâd tell me if something was wrong?â His voice is quiet. âIf you needed something. Anything. If youââ He stops himself with a shake of his head. âYouâd tell me?â
The guilt crashes over you like a wave. Because no, you wouldnât tell him. You havenât told him. Youâre sitting here in his shirt, lying to his face, with another man listening on the phone three feet away.
âOf course,â you assure him with a small smile.
He studies you for another moment, like he knows somethingâs wrong but can't figure out what. Like heâs waiting for you to trust him enough to say it.Â
But you donât.
âGet some rest,â he says finally, voice flat in the way that means heâs pulling back. âCall me if you need anything.â
âI will.â
He stands, but pauses in the doorway. His eyes land on you once moreâon the shirt youâre wearing. His white button-down.
âThatâs mine, isnât it?â
You go still. âIâyeah. Sorry, I canââ
âNo. Keep it.â His voice is rough. âIt looks better on you, anyway.â
Then heâs gone.
Your chest tightens. Because this is what you wanted, isn't it? For him to notice. To care. To see you wearing his things and react.
And he does notice. He does care.
Yet still chooses to keep his distance.
You wait. Count to ten. Twenty. Until you hear the front door close. Until youâre absolutely sure heâs gone.
Then you dig your phone out of the laundry basket with shaking hands.
âYouâre still there?â
âYou thought Iâd hang up?â Sylusâs voice is wrecked. âAnd miss the most erotic doctor-patient interaction Iâve ever witnessed? Not a chance, sweetie.â
âThat wasââ
âIncredible. That was incredible.â He sounds almost awed. âYour doctor is very attentive. Does he always take your temperature orally? How very thorough of him.â
Your face burns. âCan we notââ
âOh, we are absolutely discussing this. You were just getting started. And then he comes in with that thermometer andââ He groans. âI nearly came just listening to it.â
âSylusââ
âBe honest. Were you thinking about him? About me? About what we were just doing?â
You close your eyes. âAll of it. I was thinking about all of it.â
âGood girl," he says, soft and approving. âYou deserve to want all of it. And you deserve to have all of it.â
Heat floods through you at the words, the silence stretching for a second too long.
And Sylus, of course, notices.
âWell, well,â he murmurs, low and satisfied. âSomeone likes being praised.â
You scoff, but youâre shifting in place anyway, as if your bodyâs already chosen sidesâtraitorous and aching and far too eager to be told itâs good again. âDonât flatter yourself.â
âI donât need to." You can hear the cocky grin in his voice. "Your breathing just told me everything I need to know."
âI donât know what youâreââ
âSave it, kitten. Iâll remember that for later.â He sounds insufferably smug. âDon't think for a second you're off the hook. This isn't over. Far from it. But right now, I need to go salvage this meeting, and you need to go finish your laundry. And sweetie?â
âYeah?â
âKeep sending me photos. Anytime. Anything. Any reason." The teasing is gone, replaced by something more sincere. Like he would cherish whatever pictures you sent him, no matter how trivial. "I don't care if I'm in meetings or dealing with business or sleeping. I want to see you.â
âEven if it causes problems?â
âEspecially then. I like the problems you cause.â He lets out a quiet laugh under his breath. âBut Iâll be taking this photo with me. Fair warning. Might have to âstep out for a callâ again just to look at it some more.â
Your heart beats faster. âTaking it where?â
âEverywhere. It's my phone background now.â
âSylusââ
âWhat? You look good. I want to look at you. And frankly, Iâm not sure how to change it back even if I wanted to.â He sounds almost proud of this. âBesides, now every time someone asks about my phone, I get to tell them about the beautiful woman who's driving me insane.â
âYouâre not going to tell people about me.â
âI certainly am. Starting with my business partners this afternoon, when they ask why I had to leave so abruptly.â
You shouldnât feel this way. Itâs too much, too fast. Itâs barely been a week.Â
You clutch the phone a little tighter, like thatâll help you hold on. Like youâre afraid if you breathe wrong, this will all disappearâthe voice in your ear, the feeling in your gut, the dizzy, giddy swirl of being wanted like this.
âFine. But tell them I bite.â
His voice drops low with interest. âDo you, now?âÂ
âOnly if you ask nicely.â
âGoddamn. Trouble, trouble, trouble.â But he sounds pleased. Impressed, even. âI knew I liked you for a reason.â
You grin. âJust one reason?â
âMany reasons. All of which Iâd be happy to list. In person. At Obsidian. This weekend.â
Your response comes effortlessly:
âOkay.â
The other line is silent for so long you worry he might have hung up.Â
When his voice finally comes through, itâs careful. Surprised.
âOkay?â He pauses. âJust like that?â
âJust like that,â you confirm. âYes. Iâll come to the club.â
âYouâre serious.â
âI'm serious.â
âWhat changed?â
You hesitate, just for a moment.
The answer catches in your throatânot because it isnât true, but because itâs too true. Because it wasnât just one thing. It was everything. The cold and quiet ache of being wanted and still not chosen day after day, year after year. The pull toward Sylus, hot and loud, that doesnât ask you to shrink or behave or wait your turn, that doesnât make you feel like too much.
âIâm tired of saying no to things I actually want.â The raw truth of the words makes your throat tight. The rest comes out quieter than you mean it to. âAnd I really want to see you, Sylus.â
You hear him stand abruptly, pace around his office like heâs plotting something. Or maybe just grounding himself.
âFuck. Okay. Yes. Sunday? Sunday.â He sounds almost thrown, like he still expected resistance. âIâll send a car at 8. And the dress. Itâll arrive tomorrow afternoon.â
âYou already have a dress picked out?â
âIâve had it picked out since Wednesday. I was just waiting for you to say yes.â
âConfident.â
âAnd apparently right to be.â You can hear the pleasure in it. Relief, even. âYou have no idea how glad I am you said yes.â
âI think I might.â
âGood. Then weâre on the same page.â He takes a breath. âI need to go. Before I say something that makes you change your mind.â
You lean back against the couch, a warm and terrifying feeling flooding your chest in the best way. This is real. This is actually happening.
"Weâll talk later," he says with certainty. "And thank you, truly. For saying yes. For the picture. For the conversation. For being exactly as much trouble as I hoped youâd be.âÂ
You canât help but smile. âYouâre welcome.â
âBye, sweetie.â
He hangs up before you can respond.
You sit there on the couch, heart racing, still wearing Zayneâs shirt, thinking about Sylus thinking about you in it. About what it means that you said yes so easily when youâve been saying no for days.
MY LOVE AHHHđđ i just checked up your account only now AND LIKE YK WAS READYING THE QUESTION THEY WERE ASKING YOU ABOUT FATHER FIGURE ZAYNE... well so i had to scroll down which of the many ofyours masterpieces they were talking about. I FOUND IT AND HOLYY AAA i'm excited,, I read only a little because I have to studyđ BUT i will finish reading it when I get a break tho imm like super excited cant wait i chill and read it. you're amazing I love youđ„čđ
BTW when i read father figure and zayne well something in me awaken, and thought about this song
Im lwk exploding AAAA anyways have a great day my loveđ„čđ
ohhhhh shucks!!! ILY!! :,) iâm so glad father figure zayne found YOU đ«”đ«” and i hope ur studies go swimmingly, zaddy will be patiently waiting to reward u for all ur hard work đ đ ur INCREDIBLE thank u sm for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful note during a busy time đ„șâ€ïžâ€ïž
and tell me HOW have i not heard this song before OMG i am shaking ass to this every time i write now đ u have created a monsterâŠâŠ..
wait does this mean zayne in the father figure series is canonically 20ish years older than us *busts a nut*
AND AND AND DOES THIS MEAN LIE TO ME SYLUS IS ALSO 20 YEARS OLDER???? OR IS HE LIKE AROUND OUR AGE AND ALSO INTO OLDER MEN
AHHHHHHHHH!! tbh in oneshots for the most part i leave ages open for interpretation, some days i want to imagine zayne just as he is in lads and other days i want someone to alert the authorities LOL
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i want him old enough to feel GUILTY AS SIN for wanting you, old enough to instinctively want to protect you from everything (especially himself), old enough to have rules and old enough to feel the weight of the consequences of breaking them on his shouldersâŠ.really, whatever gap it takes to say:
âwe shouldnât be doing thisâ
âiâm not the kind of man you think i amâ
âyou donât know what youâre asking forâ
âŠRAHHHHH yes i will eat it up EVERY TIME!!!!!!
all that saidâŠâŠ.probably 20ish years?? more??? some gray in his hair, has a bedtime, gives you a hard time about what kids are into these days, stresses out if you leave the house without a jacketâŠâŠâŠyeah iâm so down bad đđ
GUEESS WHOS HERE AGAIN >< I missed you and came to find that you posted as i was sleeping?!?!? best wake up call thank you for everything you do
GOOD MORNING BREAKFAST IS HERE â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž thank u for existing and being such a lovely and beautiful and kind person i hope u have the most wonderful day!!!