cgl-resources

At times it is hard to explain this relationship/dynamic. There is no true certain way to live it but, it is a kink no matter what way you practice it, and that’s the simplest way to put it. What works for one single person or couple as a dynamic doesn’t always or should have to work for other people. The recent arguments on here deal with legal age on one side, while the other is hurt thinking that we’re trying to strip away their essence or self. We aren’t trying to stop anyone from being what or more importantly who they are. That’s the point of being in this (kink) community. You’re here to express your true inner self. I, along with others, get pretty irritated that one of simple things you do have to follow as a part of being in these lifestyles/dynamics are completely being ignored. People in the community rightfully so (being adults) saying that we’re in the wrong doesn’t help. Just as vanilla people jump into something because they’re excited, it happens in the kink world and a lot get roles mixed up or ignored. This is generally among newbies but does happen with seasoned kinksters as well. I’m not an expert, but I am understanding of BDSM, kinks, and fetishes because I thoroughly read on these categories and have been since i was 13 (please note I didnt engage until I was 18). I also happen to enjoy learning more everyday about these lifestyles. Some claiming to be understanding of their D/s term in the ls don’t even bother to use google in this age of information and stick to popular terms and points, disregarding aftercare, consent, etc. It’s disheartening because this is a (kinky) lifestyle, this is me, so that is why I decided to make this post. There is an immense amount of knowledge that needs to be learned in this lovely little world of ours. Here are some points to clear up some misunderstandings.

Littles are simply adults with a childlike personality (3-10 year olds) who generally appreciate an emotionally mature partner to protect, comfort and love them.

Middles/Bigs are also adults that happen to regress to preteen or teen years (17 and younger). You can still regress into a 16 yr old and be a Little, however.The term is up to *you*.

Littles are fully capable of understanding the relationship they are entering into. They are consenting adults, not children.

Littles are not usually looking for a “sugar daddy” to take care of them; money is not the goal of the relationship.

A Sugar Daddy and Daddy Dom are not the same but can be similar.

Anyone can be a Little, Middle, Babygirl, Slave, Kitten, etc regardless of weight, height, appearance, gender identity, or age. 

Inviting all ages does not mean that minors can join. It means that even if you are 40+ you can still be a Little/Pet.

A kink is a kink regardless of sexual involvement, words change over time and this is where we’re at right now. Remember when people thought being gay was only possible if they were into BDSM and if they were having sex all the time? Yeah.

Being in your little space doesn’t always have to be a hypersexual situation nor does it have to involve sex, there is nothing wrong with that, but it’s still kink. 

Having said that, there is nothing wrong with having sex as a little or in little space. Don’t shame responsible kinksters having sex.

The age of majority is the threshold of adulthood when minors cease to legally be considered children and assume control over their persons, actions, and decisions, thereby terminating the legal control and legal responsibilities of their parents or guardian over and for them.

The age of majority is generally 18. In the U.S.A. it is 18 in 47 states.

it is 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, and 21 in Puerto Rico and Mississippi.

Just because you are the age of consent it does not mean you are an adult.

I’m well aware we always have a strong urge to belong, especially during teenage years. It’s even more exciting to finally find out somewhere you might belong, But you shouldnt be careless about it. You can acknowledge you hold an interest in BDSM and its lifestyles/kinks since you’re a teen, which I also did, but you must safely and privately do research and wait until you are legal age(18) to be a part of the kink communities. Researching anything below the umbrella term that is BDSM is recommended at all times particularly before you engage in the community. It is not an exclusive community, all that is expected is to be a consenting and safe adult. If as a minor, you believe you are mature enough to be in the kink community then you should understand you must wait until you are an adult to partake in it. The magic that happens from 17 to 18 is that you are held liable to your actions and affairs, it doesn’t mean that every person at 18 is all of a sudden incredibly mature. 

The few major points in any kink dynamic you’re in (whether in a dynamic or scene or role or lifestyle) should be among the very first things that you learn before you even accept to call yourself any D/s term. Safe meaning you’re careful, caring, and educated on what you’re doing and going to be a part of. Sane, meaning there’s trust and will to avoid any serious injury (mental or physical) for all parties concerned. And Consensual meaning that before the scene/dynamic begins, you had a negotiated nonforced agreement. *Remember that no is also an acceptable and valid answer. 

The second one that many prefer including myself is RACK since it is more comprehensible. Risk Aware Consensual Kink, this means acknowledging that accidents/injuries can and will happen no matter how careful one is but preparing for them in advance. Doing your best to minimize them along with consenting to the kink. All of this reflects the philosophy that adults take responsibility for themselves; they make consensual choices using common sense about risk and safety.

Now, having said all this, in any D/s role or dynamic, you can be as sexual or nonsexual as you’d like. You don’t always have to be in little space either and it isn’t expected. Being highly sexual or refraining from it doesn’t make you any less of the beautiful kinkster you are, it does not magically make you disappear from the lifestyle.You can specifically be a kinkster behind closed doors, live it whenever you can, or as stated, live the kinky lifestyle 24/7. Neither makes you any better or worse.

I will continue explaining other dynamics in the next part, along with emotional maturity in the dynamics, other laws regarding NSFW, BDSM and kink spaces, and anything else I missed that I believe should be spoken of. Expect this post over the next few days. I have been v sleep deprived as of late and I tried really hard on this so I apologize if my wording is confusing (i did edit it over 10x). A great big thank you to my Daddy for helping with this post! Any feedback or questions are highly appreciated and welcome!!! Stay safe and kinky! xoxox

Stop belittling it to some of the cute stuff. It’s a hell of a lot more than that; Both for cgl AND petplay. 

 And then you whine about wanting a CG with that mindset? About not finding a CG? And then about losing them or them taking advantage of you or them being “fake” doms? You are taking advantage of our beloved titles. You are taking advantage of our spaces, by assuming you know about your given title, by assuming this space is for you. You are assuming this dynamic is full of lavish gifts. This isn’t a goddamn vanilla space. You are NOT supposed to find a caregiver/dominant so fucking easy.

You’re going to be pursued by the fakes, because you all are being that way. 

In this case, you are attracting what you are. You’re in it for the aesthetics.. 😓

You will never find what you want or think you deserve because those “don’t talk to fake doms, Be weary of fake doms” posts are also about you. Until you understand this, until you actually do research and realize this dynamic is for mature adults and wait for your time, you do not deserve these titles. Even then, it doesn’t mean you’re ready for such intense relations. But, you can engage in it at that time because you are legally an adult, which is all that is asked of you. Of everyone here. Be safe, sane, and consensual. Know what the fuck you’re getting into, ALL OF IT. Not just “safe” cute bits.

All Littles, Kittens, Slaves, Doms, etc, are valid because we are all adults, 18 and over.

Anything under? You’re just behaving like the child you really are, playing house with our roles. 

Except our lives aren’t fantasy like you want them to be.

Who made me the “expert”? No one. I never stated such thing because there are always more things to learn. Who made me the one to say who gets to be in here? The world. My morals. My being an adult. It’s expected of every adult to uphold the laws, local, state, and federal. We are expected to have a good head on our shoulders, meaning, be morally correct and do what you would expect of others (or at least dont fuck with people if they arent bothering you, dont talk them into things, dont corrupt them, dont use them). The way you would want others to treat minors in your life;

Keeping them away from ADULT spaces and calling out bad behavior and especially disgusting pedophiles.

We love our lifestyles, roles, and dynamics.

This is why we get to say what is safe and unsafe. We know what it takes to be a part of this. This is why we get to say who gets to be in here. This is why legally being able to consent is always pointed out. It. Is. Necessary.

And it isn’t restrictive at all, to be honest.

People don’t say cute things and accept minors that are smoking, drinking, buying liquor even if they’re “not going to be drinking it”. Don’t enable children. Don’t be gross. In fact don’t be an enabler at all.

Everyone lies. This is the truth. If you say you are an underage little, you are an INSTANT TARGET for potential sexual predators. Sexual predators are on tumblr. Sexual predators are on Facebook. There’s individuals who make, store, and collect child  pornography on Facebook, Tumblr, and Fetlife. 

Am I going to deny that underage individuals try to get into the BDSM community? Absolutely not, but please, for the love of God, keep Kink and BDSM out of your romantic relationships until you’re of age (18+ to be safe). It is not worth the fucking risk of putting yourself in danger of sexual assault and/or stupid mistakes due to the fact that you are indeed, a minor. 

It is not just sexual assault that is a risk for minors being involved in the BDSM community. There’s also the issue of being taken advantage of because of your often naivete at this age. You think “oh, this won’t happen to me :D” or “oh, I won’t be just a gem for them to show off” or “they actually love me, there’s no way I’m being manipulated!”. It is so fucking easy (especially with a minor) to string them along and say “I love you”. They know how to manipulate teenagers and children. They know how to target and isolate their prey.

When I was about 13-14, I was a stupid little shit. I didn’t even go to the lengths that these kids are trying to these days. I was SUBTLE online and a child predator STILL found me, STILL collected enough tidbits of personal information over a period of several months of “SAFE FOR WORK” correspondence (we played the same videogame lol), eventually manipulated me into being willing to send him SAFE FOR WORK PHOTOS knowing that I was only 13-14 (”It’s okay, no one will see your privates. I just want to see you smile”)

WHICH HE THEN USED

TO FIND ME.

AFTER TRACKING MY IP ADDRESS.

They don’t love you. They never will.

These people know exactly what to tell you, so when I see these kids spouting how they’re proud to be an underaged little and that “crime baby” bullshit it makes me so sick. You don’t realize the target you’re placing on your head.

So here’s an idea i made up and thought would be nice to share with the community, so here it is. (Caregivers read this!) 💕

Chores / homework / cleaning up / etc can be REALLY difficult for littles, ESPECIALLY if they have a mental illness. Getting them to do simple things can sometimes be hard, so here are some reward ideas for when your little accomplishes their goals! 💖

🐱 - Crayons 🐱 - Small Stuffies 🐱 - A Movie Day (where you & your little can curl up and watch cute movies of their choice together) 🐱 - Alternative Movie Day (where your little can watch movies in a blanket fort with teddies if you cant be there) 🐱 - A Notebook 🐱 Stickers 🐱 A Massage 🐱 A Bubble Bath with nice smelling soap! 🐱 - A Bedtime Story (Preferably one you made up yourself) 🐱 - Paci’s, Blankies, etc. (If your little likes that stuff.) 🐱 - Pleasure (that your little asks for) 🐱 - (Warm) Milk & Cookies 🐱 - Candy 🐱 - 1 hour of game time (Club Penguin, Webkins or any other games that your little is aloud to play.) 🐱 - Naptime 🐱 - Fuzzy or Thigh High Socks 🐱 - Make-up (Yummy lip gloss or sparkly nail polish is acceptable) 🐱 - Glitter 🐱 - Snackies (Dunkaroos, Danamals, juice boxes, oreos, small bowls of cut up fruit, etc.) 🐱 - New Little Dishes (sippy cups, plates, etc.) 🐱 - Cuddles 🐱 - Kisses 🐱 - A Coloring Book 🐱 - Bows (Bow ties, hair bows, etc.) 🐱 - A Trip To The Aquarium, Zoo, Pet Store, Etc. 🐱 - Video Games with Caregiver 🐱 - New Music 🐱 - Drawings 🐱 - A Small House Plant 🐱 - Lunch Out (or dinner or breakfast) 🐱 - Paint (finger paint, washable paint) 🐱 - Chalk 🐱 - Markers 🐱 - A Journal 🐱 - Bathroom Supplies (yummy smelling soup, relaxing salts, lotions, bath bombs, etc.) 🐱 - Legos 🐱 - Lunchables 🐱 - A Shirt with your Cologne or Perfume 🐱 - A Trip to the Museum or Art Gallery 🐱 - A Trip to the Petting Zoo 🐱 - Photos of You Together to Hang Up 🐱 - Blanket / Pillow Forts 🐱 - Bubble Bath Mix 🐱 - Getting Hair Brushed or Played With (being braided, curled, straightened, waved, washed, etc.) 🐱 - Ice Cream Dates 🐱 - Pizza Dates 🐱 - No Chores for a Day 🐱 - Hair Dye (if they’re aloud) 🐱 - Fake Hair Extensions 🐱 - Tumblr Time 🐱 - Pet time (in case your little doesn’t play with their pets enough) 🐱 - Relax Time 🐱 - A Bottle of Your Cologne / Perfume

That’s all i can think of right now, but feel free to add more if you want! 💞

Plus in the app there are monsters to collect and games to play

There is no laws saying BDSM is illegal for minors. 

Its not pedophilia if they date someone their own age. Pedophilia is an adult preying on a minor/child. If two teens are in a relationship, it isn’t pedophilia. 

If two minors in a relationship decide they are into BDSM together then no one is forcing anyone into anything. Key word in my above comment and in BDSM is consent. If both parties are not consenting then it is illegal because that would make it rape and/or abuse. If both parties consent, there is no forcing taking place. It is a mutual relationship.

I would like to address the comment about drinking and smoking at age of consent. Of course kids can’t do those things if they are under 21 and 18, the legal age to participate in those activities. However, if they are at the age of consent and wish to be sexually active they can be because legally they are at an age at which they can. You can’t drink till 21. You can’t smoke till 18. You can’t have sex until you’ve reached age of consent and are staying within the state guidelines for age gaps as a minor. If you would like to educate yourself on those laws,  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_the_United_States   That is just for the Untied States and goes over every state’s guidelines. The age of consent for any country and the laws that go along with it can be found with a simple google search.

In summary, if someone is at age of consent, determined by law, and following all the terms in those laws, including age gap limits and such, then nothing is considered illegal. There are no laws about BDSM. No state has said BDSM is illegal for minors.

If one is under aged, following laws, in a 100% happy, safe and consenting Cg/L relationship nothing is wrong.  Many are indeed following the law and enjoying life a little more because of their participation and discovery of BDSM and it is all legal, all safe, and all consenting.

1. See. With smoking, it says an adult has to buy them, but that’s it. Does that mean you condone minors smoking, drinking, etc?

2. Being that we’re on tumblr, and tumblr is based in the U.S., our laws are the only ones that matter and they trump all others. It is illegal for minors to view obscene material. Because BDSM is not common nor “normal”, it is considered obscene to pretty much everybody.

3. I have over 10 years researching learning,etc here in BDSM and laws/guidelines/etc around it. I don’t need to research the aoc because again, they hold no power in BDSM (even the age of majority is different in 4 states)

“BDSM is an umbrella term for certain kinds of erotic behavior between consenting adults. There are distinct subcultures under this umbrella term. Terminology for roles varies widely among the subcultures. Top and dominant are widely used for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity who are, respectively, the physically active or controlling participants. Bottom and submissive are widely used for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity who are, respectively, the physically receptive or controlled participants. The interaction between tops and bottoms—where physical or mental control of the bottom is surrendered to the top—is sometimes known as “power exchange”, whether in the context of an encounter or a relationship”

“ In 2004 a judge in Canada ruled that videos seized by the police featuring BDSM activities were not obscene, and did not constitute violence, but a “normal and acceptable” sexual activity between two consenting adults “

  A judge does not care if sex is not involved in a BDSM relationship/scene, it is still a highly sexual community and even they know this.

Please, educate yourself before attempting to seem knowledgeable. Don’t spread false information or any info which you are not educated in or even understand. You are actively endangering others.

4. Using your own link, https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent , it clearly states “ The age of consent is the age at which a person can legally consent to have sexual intercourse ”

Sexual intercourse, that’s it. it doesn’t make them adults. it doesn’t make them able to travel state lines on their own without their adults permission. It doesn’t let them vote. It doesn’t let them watch porn or participate in munches, where NO SEX is involved. Sexual activities does not include BDSM, because as I already showed, it is for adults only.BDSM involves power exchange. Power that a minor the aoc does not have, if they did, they’d be able to do everything I’ve brought up. They can get married too, but like I said, that’s about it. They aren’t even categorized as adults then :)

5. Copying lovely persons posts; ““ For something to be “obscene” it must be shown that the average person, applying contemporary community standards and viewing the material as a whole, would find (1) that the work appeals predominantly to “prurient” interest; (2) that it depicts or describes sexual conduct in a patently offensive way; and (3) that it lacks serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value. “ This does not mean ‘you’, a practitioner of Ageplay/CGL, as an average person. This means a non-practitioner of Ageplay/CGL, an average member of any given community. You cannot give material to somebody who is close to said material and expect them to give a non-biased answer about it. Any blog that is a kink blog that is not flagged as ‘NSFW’ is both misleading and against Tumblr’s TOS - especially since kink/BDSM-related content is considered, per federal law, to be an obscene material. “

“Adult bloggers that do not take steps to protect themselves by reporting underage users [in BDSM obv] following their blogs can face the following:Sexual Exploitation  of a Minor, Solicitation of a Minor, Corruption of a Minor” “Ageplaying specifically is an often demonized kink. I’m sure there’s a lawyer somewhere who would love to prove that it’s a community full of pedophiles taking advantage of minors on a social networking site, and by allowing underage littles into this space you are giving that person the ammo to prove their point.“ “I said it a few paragraphs ago but I’ll say it again: to think that you won’t be prosecuted is naive. As an adult, to not take the steps to protect yourself is downright foolish. I could spend all day linking cases where the law was less than kink.“You would hope that you wouldn’t be prosecuted for having minors follow you, because honestly you can’t control who hits the ‘follow’ button (you can only block them once you notice), but the world doesn’t work that way. If someone wanted to go after you for this, they absolutely can and will.”

“It is illegal to create adult-themed communities for minors. The caregiver-little dynamic is an adult kink that is a subsection of the BDSM community. It is illegal to solicit minors to join your adult-themed community.It is illegal to solicit minors for or provide to them obscene, kink-themed, or NSFW content. The content doesn’t have to have nudity or graphic sexual activity, or even be an image, to count as obscene material. “

“Minors should still be allowed to follow sfw little blogs”

Ok, except there are a LOT of “sfw” little blogs (mine included) that aren’t literally sfw. 80% of the little blogs I follow are labeled sfw and that’s awesome because I’m really uncomfortable with nudity sometimes. But those same blogs still sometimes post pictures of littles in diapers, or with a pacifier/bottle in their mouth. 

Sometimes they post things about getting spanked or punished in some other way. Sometimes they talk about the sex they had with their Caregiver or something along those lines. Which is fine and awesome. I support you showing off your little side and expressing yourself.

But I’m 23. If I follow blogs that post things like that and either of my parents found my blog, oh fucking well. Sure it would be awkward but there’s nothing they could actually do about it. 

If you’re 15-16 and your parent finds your blog, they could go through the people you follow. And if they start seeing diapers, bottles, pacifiers, and “Mommy & Daddy” (sexual or not) they’re probably going to freak right the fuck out. 

I do indeed have a problem with people that support children in the kink community. 

Supporting minors in kink is grooming and corruption of a minor. As someone who was abused as a minor, groomed and corrupted as a minor, of course I have a problem with it. (Even if those things hadn’t happened to me, I still wouldn’t support children in the kink community)

Supporting minors in the community means you support all the problems that come with children in the kink community. 

You do not care about their safety, nor do you care that allowing children in the community makes us a prime target for predators.

You do not care that it could ruin the lives of a lot of people in more ways than one. Both adults and children.

You do not care that if this continues the kink community will go back underground because of the association it has with children. Basically ruining this community and the level of acceptance that people have worked so hard on over the years.

You do not care about the adults in the community that will be linked to pedophilia because the community would be known to have children and pedophiles in it. Regardless if they don’t support children in the community. 

You don’t care that to the vanilla world we will ALL be seen as pedophiles because of this. Coming out as kinky could get you killed. You can’t say people aren’t that stupid to assume everyone involved is a pedo. Shall I tell you why? Can I just remind you that there are a lot of people out there who think ALL Muslims are bad, or ALL people of colour are bad, or ALL trans folk are bad. Hate crimes do happen. Do not make us a target because some kids can’t wait a couple of years and you think its harmless. It is not harmless. 

You do not care about all the mental health issues people will have to deal with because they have to hide who they are and what they like and live in fear because it has that association? 

If you support children in the community, you’re saying you don’t care about any of these issues, in fact you support them. You want that all to happen. You are all for the pain and misery and negative effects that involving children in the kink community has. 

So yes. I have a problem with people supporting children in the kink community. 

Rethink your argument because I assure you, there are way more negatives than positives with this issue. 

If you still support children in the kink community after reading all that, unfollow us, don’t talk to us. We want absolutely NOTHING to do with you. 

The kink community is 18+ fucking keep it that way. 

This is the KINK Community. People under 18 do not belong here this is a strictly ADULT space. Children getting involved in it regardless of it being sexual for them or not, means that they are involving themselves in an adult space. Thus linking adults and this adult space with children. This is not HARMLESS! 

If this space is known to have children in it, the more predators will target it looking for their next victims. This is not HARMLESS! 

When we post content whether its porn or not we use the appropriate KINKY tags. People who search those tags will see it. I am not comfortable with minors looking at our content and reblogging it onto their underage blogs. It links us to them and we don’t want to be linked with children! This is not HARMLESS! 

I am not a hypocrite. I know what it’s like to be a kid and want to experiment. I did those things, but I NEVER involved myself in the ADULT community when I was underage. 

If you’re underage or support underage people in the KINK community, unfollow us and do not message us. We want NOTHING to do with you. 

Emily xxx

Please don’t remove artist’s comments, thanks!

As a note, I cannot control who reblogs this and finds validation in this image, but I made this image for littles of all skin colors, genders, sexualities, and varying degrees of able-ness, but I personally do not support or condone underage “littles” involvement in this community and this image was not made for them.

“ALL LITTLES ARE VALID! WE LOVE YOU!!! …oh except for you guys. you guys can go rot alone. you can’t be in our super awesome club.”

As an adult practicing an aspect of BDSM, I cannot legally support minors in this environment. My comments mearly indicate that this image was not to be taken as me giving my support for minors in a kink-related space.

I do not in any way condone sending hate to anyone to telling people they can “go rot alone.” Also, BDSM is not a super awesome club. It is a variety of activities practiced by adults. However, there are BDSM clubs where minors also wouldn’t be allowed.

A minor cannot legally give consent to BDSM related activties, so anything involving  a minor and certain kink in the eyes of the law is assault.

Frankly it’s gotten to the point where I find this whole debate a little ridiculous.

This is the law on the matter. The specific important part is:

“(3) Ineffective Consent. Unless otherwise provided by the Code or by the law defining the offense, assent does not constitute consent if:

(a) it is given by a person who is legally incompetent to authorize the conduct charged to constitute the offense; or

(b) it is given by a person who by reason of youth, mental disease or defect or intoxication is manifestly unable or known by the actor to be unable to make a reasonable judgment as to the nature or harmfulness of the conduct charged to constitute the offense; or”

“But in my Country, I’m the age of consent!” You may say. Tumblr is owned by Yahoo and based in the United States, so activities on tumblr are governed by United States Law.

“But it’s not sexual!” you may say. Neither is fireplay, ropeplay, interrogation scenes, or waterboarding. These things are also considered BDSM.

“But I’m just being A Little” Being a Little is considered taking part in Ageplay. “  Ageplay or age play is a form of roleplaying in which an individual acts or treats another as if they were a different age, sexual or non-sexually. Ageplay is roleplaying between adults, and involves consent from all parties. “

“Age play is the term for consenting adults who roleplay in some way pertaining to age “

“ Remember, this is adult consensual role play for those 18 and older. “

“But I just like pacifiers and onesies and stuffies!” FINE. NO one is saying you cannot like those things. No one is saying that it is wrong to color, or to watch cartoons, or to enjoy sippy cups. You are allowed to like these things.

You can tumblr pictures of your stuffies and bibs and clothes. Fine, that’s not inherently nsfw. Tumblr has no rule against that.

What is wrong, at the very least in the eyes of the law, is when minors call it kink, call themselves littles, and try to integrate into little space. You can kick your feet and complain about being exlcluded from a ‘super awesome club’ all you want. It doesn’t change anything.

I think involving underage people in that is wrong on SO many levels.  I’m not about to condemn anyone for seeking out things they enjoy, so long as it’s not harmful… but - importantly - we DO NOT CONSENT to engaging directly with underage littles.  It creeps me out to be approached by someone underage within something I consider to be an adult-specific space, for something I consider to be a sexual activity.  It worries me, due to the potential legal questions.  If I was having basic vanilla sex with my wife, an underage person wouldn’t be welcome to just hop right in bed with us either.

This isn’t to attack you.  This is to protect ourselves.  You’re perfectly valid being you.  In the future, once you are of legal age and the legal/moral/ethical problems are resolved, we will have no issue with you.  We simply recognize that we cannot, due to those aforementioned problems, support you at this time or condone your behavior.  To do so would put us in a seriously questionable position.

Yes!

I’ve been lit on fire before in a BDSM club. That wasn’t sexual.

I’ve tied someone up and flogged them. That was kinky, but didn’t involve sex at all.

I really, really hate touching feet. After a hard day’s work, sometimes I will rub Daddy’s feet for him. That is absolutely not sexual for me at all, but is an act of submission which comes from me practicing my kink.

Being tied up with rope is kinky but not sexual. Hell, being dominant or submissive doesn’t need to be sexual.

I feel like saying kinky = being sexual, really means that someone hasn’t yet grasped the full concept of kink. I like wearing diapers. That’s kinky. I don’t like being touched sexually when I’m wearing diapers. That’s okay. It also doesn’t make the act less kinky.

I’ve read some arguments about people using age regression as a coping mechanism. I was doing a bit of research on age regression therapy and it seems to be something used to recover memories or deal with childhood trauma. It’s practiced by a hypnotherapist in office. 

I feel like if coping is the only reason you ageplay, then you wouldn’t need to be finding a caregiver or dominant- because they may not be a trained therapist and cannot provide medical advice. There’s also a level of controversy surrounding the effectiveness of age regression as a therapy tool.

If needing it to cope is the sole reason someone is Little, then they wouldn’t need to be involved in the kink community.

If you are suffering with something to the point where you feel like you need to use age regression solely as a coping mechanism, then I urge you to seek out legitimate medical professionals and find a more trusted, tried and true way of helping you cope.

Being Little helps me deal with the stress of being Big, but I also see Doctors regularly and take medication. Being Little is not just a stress relief for me. It is a kink. It is part of a BDSM dynamic. I am submissive. I have a Dominant. Calling him Daddy instead of Master doesn’t change what it is.

People who age regress as a form of therapy are also not part of CGL; age regression as a form of therapy is not meant to be a kink. If people who use it as therapy DECIDE that they would like to look into the CGL kink, that is them involving themselves in the CGL community; however, therapeutic age regression is not a kink itself. If a minor says that they use age regression as a form of therapy ONLY, then they have no reason to label themselves as part of a kinky, 18+ BDSM community. The fact that they do is because they wish to be able to say they’re part of the community, but they wish to deny the fact that Ageplay/CGL is, and always will be, a kink. 

Children liking childish things is fine. Children coloring, collecting stuffed animals, and watching Disney is fine. Them posting about these things is also fine. What is not fine is when these kids try to join an 18+ community based on kink. Kinky material is and probably always will be defined by federal law as pornographic, 18+ material— which you are not allowed to distribute to minors under the age of 18. Even if it’s just a picture of an adult sucking on a pacifier, or a text-post about things like “Daddy”, “Little girl”, “Little boy,” “Little one”, “Mommy”, etc.– it’s still considered 18+ material because it’s part of CGL/Ageplay/ABDL. It would still be considered part of a kink, and therefore inappropriate to distribute to minors.

If you’re under the age of 18 and you go into a smut shop and ask them to distribute to you something Ageplay related, they will tell you to come back when you hit 18. There’s no difference when it’s online; kids do not belong in a kink-based community because it has an 18+ requirement. 

If a minor is just in “group 1″, then they have no reason to be involving themselves in a kink community. We, as concerned adults, are not just yelling things that don’t make sense; the problem is that minors and adult supporters refuse to even read or comprehend the arguments as to why it’s highly illegal to invite minors into kinky spaces to begin with. If a minor uses age regression as a form of therapy; we don’t care. That is not, and will not ever be the issue; the issue is when they try to participate in 18+ kink. 

That said, Ageplay, ABDL, and CGL already have issues with the misconception that it’s about pedophilia, hebephilia, and ephebophilia. Inviting children into kink literally makes it impossible to say that Ageplay/ABDL/CGL is not about that, because the second children are invited into kink, the world will view it no differently from exploitation of a minor - and no, we should not normalize interaction of adults and kids in a kinky setting because adults will and always have had much more power over children, a high influence over children, and much more sway over a child’s behaviour and decisions than they would were that child 18+. 

18+ also does not have to do with maturity, as has been touted as one of the main arguments in the “underage people in kink” debate. It has to do with the law, which absolutely should not be changed just because some adults out there wish to involve children in kink because it’s easier to make children do what they want. 

The tl;dr of it is: Ageplay and therapeutic age regression are two different things, and have nothing to do with one another. If an adult who is using therapeutic age regression decides to look into ageplay, then that is them participating in ageplay; that does not mean that therapists assign people kinks under the guise of therapy. 

Alright. So I toyed with the idea of whether or not I really wanted to answer this (since me and many other people repeat ourselves entirely too often on the issue), but there’s a few key points I’d like to address since I’ve never officially done it, I guess.

CG/l (caregiver/little) is a kink. A kink does not have to be sexual to be considered a kink. A person could get satisfaction off watching someone step on bugs. Is that a sexual act? No. And yet, it’s still a kink because of the person getting satisfaction from it. CG/l is and has always been a subgenre of BDSM. BDSM should only be put in public between two consenting adults, period point blank. The fact that so many underaged littles and their adult followers use the defense of ‘nothing sexual is happening, so it’s not a kink’ are HORRIFICALLY erasing asexual littles and the like - and further proving they don’t know anything at all about what they’re forcing themselves into.

The CG/l community is and will always be a kink-space. Children are not allowed in kink-spaces that are adult-dominated. It is illegal. You can send perfectly innocent adults to JAIL for this, and yet underaged littles don’t care at all because they feel entitled to something that is not their own: this kink-space for adults. Minors forcing themselves into a KINK-SPACE are only enforcing the idea of what non-kinksters believe: that CG/l is about pedophilia and liking children.

CG/l is not just about liking childish things, which is yet another defense people like to throw around. ‘Oh, what’s so wrong about liking to color and watching cartoons?!’ Nothing. You go ahead and do just that. That is not CG/l. Do not call that being a Little. That is just liking childish things. CG/l is a POWER-EXCHANGE, hence why it is a subgenre of BDSM.  It is a safe-place adults go to to escape the harsh reality of the adult world. It is about your Dominant taking power over you and taking control of what you do in your life. If you do not have a dominant, it may be other things, but it is not just liking cute things and glitter.

There is absolutely no such thing as a 'safe for work underaged little blog.’ CG/l is a kink. It will always be a kink and thus, there will technically never be such a thing as a safe for work blog. There is also no such thing as 'safely teaching them about CG/l.’ You’re literally saying “please teach these minors about kinks because it’s your job as adults to do that!” That’s ridiculous. That’s illegal on so many levels.

They can argue up and down that just because it’s not sexual, it makes it okay. Think of it like this: if you go into a bar and tell them 'I’m just here to sit down, I’m not gonna buy a drink or anything’, do you think they’re going to let you stay there if you’re underaged? No, they are not. It is the same thing. These are laws. They’re there for a reason and NO ONE should apologize for wanting to feel safe - for wanting to keep minors and their adult supporters away from themselves. No one.

I’m not here to bully minors. I’m not here to shame them, either. I AM here to tell them they need to stay out of kink-spaces. You can do whatever you want in the privacy of your own home! Wear your pacis, your diapers, regress, don’t regress, fuck your partner(as long as they aren’t of legal age while you’re underaged), I don’t care! But do it AWAY from kink-spaces to keep yourself and the sane adults safe. Underaged Littles need to stay away from kink-spaces, and adults who support them - who are condoning pedophilia essentially - don’t deserve to be in said kink-spaces. I expect minors to be confused and looking for guidance, BUT IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO DO SO. The underaged littles is a big problem, but the adults supporting them is way worse and y’all should fucking know better. How the hell would you feel if you had a CHILD and you found out someone was actively supporting them and helping them into a kink community? If anyone says ‘that’d be fine with me’, well, we all know what kind of person you really are then.

This is the only huge informative post I’ll be making on this. Please don’t come back to my blog. Thank you.

I’m reposting this because I can’t find it in my archives but I feel like it needs to be brought back. 

The law doesn’t make room for “non-sexual” BDSM because BDSM is in and of itself an adult concept, and 18+ concept. 

There has been much discussion recently on numerous social media sights outlining the “pros” and “cons” regarding allowance or denial of “Underage  Littles” into the online BDSM communities. Some people believe that underage Littles should be allowed within the community, many believe underage Littles should only be allowed in the “Safe for Work” spaces of the community, while others, such as myself, believe there is no such thing as an underage Little. A Little, is a submissive who finds comfort and/or happiness expressing themselves predominantly through their inner child by exhibiting behaviours, responses, actions and interests that may be deemed too young for their biological age. The first sentence is paramount in understanding why a person who is under the legal age of consent cannot participate in the Little community on any level. Littles are a sub category submissive within the community known as BDSM (Bondage-Discipline/Dominance-Submission/Sadism-Masochism) and as such a person is required to be of the legal age of consent before entering into any aspect of the community. Although I have given the above information to a multitude of people across the world, the message does not yet seem to have penetrated, so I will now outline a cornucopia of reasons why people under the age of consent cannot participate on any level within the BDSM scene, nor any sub categories thereof including Littlespace or the Caregiving Paradigm.

Lets first look at the laws surrounding age of consent - for the purpose of transparency I am making it clear that I will only be referring to Australian Laws as they are the laws that govern myself and my local BDSM/DDLG community, these are the laws I have worked with at the Magistrates Court and at a variety of sexual health education and awareness organisations, as well as the laws that I refer to in my psychosexual therapy practice while running psychoeducational groups or during private consultations. The age of consent in Australia is 16 for oral or vaginal penetration (phalically (penis), digitally (fingers) or by use of an external object) and 18 for sodomy (same stipulations regarding penetration method) in QLd, however these ages vary from state to state;

ACT

Crimes Act 1900 (Section 55)

The age of consent for sexual interactions is 16 years.

NSW

Crimes Act 1900 (Section 66C)

The age of consent for sexual interactions is 16 years.

NT

Criminal Code Act 1983 (Section 127)

The age of consent for sexual interactions is 16 years.

QLD

Criminal Code Act 1899 (Sections 208 and 215)

The age of consent for anal sex (referred to as sodomy in legislation) is 18 years, and for all other sexual acts (referred to as carnal knowledge in legislation) is 16 years.

SA

Criminal Law Consolidation Act 1935 (Section 49)

The age of consent for sexual interactions is 17 years.

TAS

Criminal Code Act 1924 (Section 124)

The age of consent for sexual interactions is 17 years.

VIC

Crimes Act 1958 (Section 45)

The age of consent for sexual interactions is 16 years.

WA

Criminal Code Act Compilation Act 1913 (Section 321)

The age of consent for sexual interactions is 16 years.

   In Australia there are categories regarding children and the participation of sexual conduct, whether they are willing or not. The following list is taken directly from the Victorian sex-Offenders list;

Class 1 offences

·          Sexual penetration of a child

o    Rape

o    Incest

o    Sexual penetration of a child under 16

o    Sexual penetration of 16 or 17 year old

o    Sexual penetration of a person with a cognitive impairment by providers of medical or therapeutic services

o    Sexual penetration of person with a cognitive impairment by providers of special programs

·          Compelling sexual penetration if the person who the offence is committed against is a child

·          Persistent sexual abuse of a child under the age of 16

·          Facilitating sexual offences against a child

·          Aggravated sexual servitude

·          Sexual intercourse or other sexual activity with a child outside Australia

·          Persistent sexual abuse of a child outside Australia

·          Sexual intercourse or other sexual activity with a young person outside Australia where the offender is in a position of trust or authority

Class 2 offences

·          Sexual assault of a child

·          Sexual assault by compelling sexual touching against a child

·          Assault with intent to commit a sexual offence against a child

·          Threat to commit a sexual offence against a child

·          Indecent act with child under 16

·          Indecent act with 16 or 17 year old child

·          Grooming for sexual conduct with child under the age of 16

·          Abduction or detention of a child

·          Production of child pornography

·          Procurement of a minor for child pornography

·          Possession of child pornography

·          Causing or inducing a child to take part in sex work

  Please notice the language used by the Government, it states a person under the age of 18 is a child. This is because they are, in fact a child. There is no gray area here, no loophole, no “what-ifs” or “maybe’s”. A person who is biologically under the age of consent, is considered, by the Government, a child, and to partake in any form of sexual conduct with  a child is an offense.

I now aim to address the notion some people hold regarding the law, the idea that it can be marginalising, or victimise certain groups of people, in this case “Underage Littles”. I  occasionally receive mail claiming that (direct quote from tumblr mail) “children can sometimes be old enough to decide what is best for them, not all children are actually ‘children’ in their minds or hearts, some know more than adults do, and because they are more matureminded (sic) than adults then it should be OK for those certain, special children, to be allowed to be involved in the bdsm community on tumblr or facebook or wherever they decide to join”. While some children may seem more mature than others, the body doesn’t stop developing until, approximately, the age of 25. While a person is under this age they are still growing, still learning, still developing - not only physically, but psychologically and emotionally. Children who are still developing do not yet have the mental capacity, the life experience, the knowledge, the ability, or the legal right to make a decision regarding consensual participation in sexual activities. The frontal and prefrontal cortex are the parts of the brain that assist us in perceiving future consequences, and these parts of the brain are not fully developed in teenagers; this is one reason teenagers exhibit risk taking behaviour, because they literally cannot understand that actions they perform now will have repercussions in the future. This is another reason I disbelieve in the idea of “Underage Littles” - to be a Little you need to be an adult, you need to have experienced the difference between childhood, teenage years, and adulthood to be able to regress back to a state of inner-childness. Not only can it be unsafe for these children to be involved in a community which already has a minority of perpetrators, it can actually cloud their judgement on adulthood and may prevent them from continuing within the normal stages of human development.

Although some people disagree with this particular aspect of my opinion, I am sharing it because it is a very valid concern. By allowing children to view the activities that adults indulge in it can offer them a false sense of what it truly means to be a Little; I have seen teenagers on tumblr claiming that they are “Littles For Life” because they believe that being Little means having zero responsibility, zero consequences, zero interaction with adults outside of their immediate family or relationships, and finding a partner to do absolutely everything their parents currently do. Not only is this warping the views these children have on adulthood, it may impair their decision making, prevent proper development, make them incapable of completing mundane adult activities, and it may also actually harm the Caregiving paradigm in the future; imagine a new wave of young BDSM practitioners who integrate into the community thinking that the protocols, rituals and boundaries are only “guidelines” rather than a set procedure upheld by the majority of the community. Imagine a new wave of young BDSM practitioners who ignore procedures and act like indulgent children with no regard for what it means to truly be a Little. Imagine an influx of ill-informed young adults who cannot actively engage in adult conversation or understand things such as Safe-Sane-Consensual (SSC) or Risk-Aware-Consensual-Kink (RACK) because they are so emotionally and psychologically stunted. This is most definitely a pathway I wish to see our community avoid walking down.

Whenever I express my opinion in regards to “Underage Littles” staying out of this adult community until they are of legal age I am met with at least a quarter of responses claiming that “Underage Littles” should be allowed in the “Safe for Work” areas of the community. No. Littleness is part of the BDSM lifestyle which is an active community for adult participation. Furthermore, “Safe For Work” represents the non-sexualised side of kink – and kink is something a person needs to be of age to engage in legally. If I were to sit at my office with non-sexualised Little images I would still be engaging in kink-viewing; the vanillas in my workplace would see 40yo men in diapers, or adults sucking pacifiers, or grown women dressed as infants sitting in cribs; these scenes have no sexual imagery however they are practices outside of the ‘normal paradigm’, they are encouraging age-play (another kink/BDSM practice), and the majority have an element of power exchange – remember that power exchange is the core of BDSM. So although there may no nudity, no penetration, no overt sexualisation of these Little-scene depictions, they are still categorised as kink images. The next piece of mail I generally receive is “What about blogs that don’t actually have any age-play or cos-play or power play? What about Littlespaces online that are genuinely just about cute animals, Disney and the colour purple?” My response is that these blogs are not defined as Little blogs, because Little is a subset of BDSM incorporating powerplay. Rather than SFW Kink blogs, these are “Interest Blogs”. These specific blogs are created for the purpose of enjoying cute objects and characters aimed at children – so of course children are welcome to enjoy child themed blogs – however I would suggest that they are found on sites other than tumblr, as within tumblr the lines are very blurry between interest blogs and SFW kink blogs – simply being because of the way certain photographs are tagged.

To summarise, a person under the legal age of consent cannot be a Little because:

-To be involved in any aspect of the BDSM lifestyle a person must be over the legal age of consent

-To be involved in any type of sexual relationship a person must meet the legal age requirements for consent

-A person under the age of consent does not yet have the biological tools necessary to make decisions regarding consent

-A person under the age of consent does not yet have the psychological or emotional tools required to make decisions regarding consent

-Allowing children into the Caregiving paradigm can offer them a false understanding of what it truly means to be a Little, and may actually psychologically harm them by preventing their emotional and psychological development into adulthood and cause emotional arrested development

-A person under the age of consent is legally considered a child, and including children - in any form - in the BDSM community or subsequent dynamics thereof including the caregiving paradigm, is not only amoral but an illegal offence

-Involving anyone under the legal age of consent within the BDSM or Caregiving Paradigm, rather than being ‘supportive and all encompassing’ is actually pedophilia as the Caregiving Paradigm is a subset of a community based upon the sexual and romantic relationships of adults

-The apparent “Safe for Work’ Littlespaces online are majoritively kink-themed, and to be involved in any form of kink community, you must be of the legal age of consent

  -A Little, by definition is an adult regressing to a safe emotional space wherein they can play out child like scenarios and engage in either sexual or nonsexual relationships with another person, or enjoy their Littlespace in solitude, therefore to fit into this category a person must be of age

There is no such thing as an underage Little; the term for an underage person who enjoys child-like activities and exhibits child-like behaviours, who has child-like thoughts and expresses themselves in a child-like manner already has a term; CHILD.

                      References;

  Australian Government; https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/age-consent-laws

Mike Makai; http://bdsmtests.com/submissive-test/

National Institute of Mental Health; http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-teen-brain-still-under-construction/index.shtml?utm_source=LifeSiteNews.com+Daily+Newsletter&utm_campaign=2c0fa9560b-LifeSiteNews_com_Intl_Full_Text_12_18_2012

REASON WHY I CHECK AND RE-CHECK EVERY SOURCE FOR EVERY REBLOG

This right here.

People in the BDSM community can be dangerous for a multitude of reasons, not all of them intentional or predatory. Some people just have no idea what they are doing.

Mis/disinformation about what is safe can KILL you.

You’re right! It’s not!

Except, it is!

One of the primary arguments I see in the Underage Little debate is “It’s not actually illegal for a minor to follow you” and/or “you won’t get in trouble if a minor follows you.”

My tumblr is a kink/bdsm/nsfw environment. If an underage person followed me, and then a parent/loved one/guardian found out about that and was unhappy enough to prosecute, here are some charges I could probably be facing:

Sexual Exploitation of a Minor

Solicitation of a Minor

Corruption of a Minor

“But you’re not actually doing those things” “But you’re not actually doing anything wrong by allowing a minor to follow you”

See, the thing is, it’s very naive to think that the law would go “Oh, anyone can follow a tumblr, you don’t have control over that, it’s fine!” because that just won’t happen.

16 year olds get prosecuted on child pornography charges for having naked pictures of themselves on their phones/devices. Not even for sending the pictures, just for having them. Of themselves.

If your case has a particularly vindictive prosecutor, or someone is up for election and wants to make a statement, they could probably argue all of your messages back and forth with the minor, sexual in nature or not, constitutes sexting.

Ageplaying specifically is an often demonized kink. I’m sure there’s a lawyer somewhere who would love to prove that it’s a community full of pedophiles taking advantage of minors on a social networking site, and by allowing underage littles into this space you are giving that person the ammo to prove their point.

I said it a few paragraphs ago but I’ll say it again: to think that you won’t be prosecuted is naive. As an adult, to not take the steps to protect yourself is downright foolish. I could spend all day linking cases where the law was less than kink.

You would hope that you wouldn’t be prosecuted for having minors follow you, because honestly you can’t control who hits the ‘follow’ button (you can only block them once you notice), but the world doesn’t work that way. If someone wanted to go after you for this, they absolutely can and will.

Empathy is great. I absolutely empathize with those who are beginning to question their sexuality. I get it, I understand. However, I’m not willing to set myself on fire to keep you warm. 

There are plenty of resources out there that are not my space.I am not a mentor in this community. I am not obligate to help or guide anyone. I am not obligate to protect anyone but myself. 

As long as someone isn’t giving harmful advice, or being a dick or a creep, I don’t care what people do on their own tumblrs. I really don’t. I can choose not to interact with other people. Run your support tumblr or your mean littles club, I don’t care either way. I’m not responsible for what you do with your tumblr, but I am responsible for what I do with mine. 

So, because this is my space- the space I am responsible for, my space is 18+. My space is adult oriented. I don’t care how you define being a little. For me, this is a kink. This is a kink space. This is a sex space. If you are underage, I will block you.

If someone acted little purely for coping reasons, or just because they liked cute things, they wouldn’t need to be involved with the kink community. And yes, it is still kink even though it is not sexual.

Even if I had a safe for work tumblr, if I said it was “Little Space” and a parent stumbled upon it and googled what that was, on the very first page there’s results involving “DDLG”. And a parent might think, “Wow, that’s super creepy and borderline pedophilic, even though there aren’t actual naked people on this page I don’t want my kid being involved with an adult who likes to act like a kid. I should put a stop to this!”

There is a big difference between “Oh, hey, this is my tumblr where I post cute pictures of kittens and cupcakes and things that make me happy”

and “Oh hey this is my tumblr where I ageplay and post pictures of sippy cups and pacifiers and interact with adults who like to pretend to be babies.”

If it isn’t a kink for someone, then they don’t need to be in a kink space. Little Space is a kink space. Even if it’s fluffy teddy bears and not choking on cock, it is still a kink.

And a minor interacting with an adult while they are practicing a kink/bdsm can get the adult into a world of trouble.

Even if you don’t have a caregiver, it’s still kink.

Even though he’s called Daddy, and she’s Mommy, instead of Master and Mistress, it’s still kink.

You cannot just call yourself a Little and have it not be a kink. “Being Little” is not a term used in age regression therapy, which is a controversial therapy practiced by hypnotists and isn’t a valid coping mechanism used by psychologists and psychiatrists.

You can literally google “What is a Little” and the first results are DD/LG.

The word Little used in the context of Little Space is a kink term.

I can argue semantics of the words Little and Little Space until the end of time. At the end of the day, I’m not one of the twelve people you’ll have to convince that you weren’t involving a minor in a kink/bdsm space.

I can’t control what other people do with their own tumblrs. Plenty of other users allow underage people to follow them. While I’ve made my opinion on the matter very clear, I can’t change what they choose to do in the end.

*”i support underage ‘littles’!(~:”*

“Caregiver/little and being a little is a specific head space you get into to either consensually exchange power with another individual(s), or to be in a space where you are willingly being vulnerable/submissive or powerful/dominant. Sometimes it involves others, sometimes it doesn’t. The point is that there is a play on power dynamics. It is not about the frills. Minors cannot consent to power exchange. When you are inherently in an imbalanced power dynamic, consensual power exchange cannot take place. That is the fundamental basis of the caregiver/little community, that is why you must be able to consent in order to partake in it, and minors cannot consent. So by all means, continue to enjoy those things, even make a community out of it. But that community is not the little community or the caregiver/little community at large. That is a space for a adults. Not children. Not because it may be sexual, though that is certainly an aspect, but because it is about power exchange. However that power exchange plays out is inconsequential. What matters is that minors cannot consent to exchanging power. End of story.”

And finally: telling underage littles they can’t be a part of the community is like telling minors that abstinence is the best birth control. Who on earth actually believes it’s gonna happen? So how about instead of ostracizing them, we educate and protect them.

Cgl is literally a BDSM ageplay dynamic. You need to unlearn all that false information because sex does not ever hve to be involved in BDSM and it doesnt make it child friendly nor sfw. And if it does? Its still BDSM.

There is no such thing as underage littles because no minor can sign a legal contract, they can barely even vote but they certainly are not legally allowed in sex shops, smoke shops, etc. If they want to be a part of BDSM then they have to wait until theyre the age of majority in their state. Telling minors they cant be in BDSM is literally being a responsible adult that not only cares for their own safety, future, and is FOLLOWING FEDERAL LAWS, but caring for the minor and their future too.

Minors can be registered and charged as sex offenders for even sexting, so can their parents because they are the ones under the contract.

BDSM without LEGAL ADULT CONSENT FROM ALL ADULTS INVOLVED IS ASSAULT, BATTERY, AND ABUSE.

IF YOU DONT THINK CGL IS BDSM BECAUSE SOMEHOW BDSM IS BAD L AND SO IS SEX LK OMGZZ THEN STEP AWAY FROM CGL. NOBODY IS FORCING YOU TO ENGAGE IN KINK BUT YOURSELVES. NOBODY IS CALLING YOU KINK TERMS BUT YOURSELVES. There is no such thing as non kinky cgl because cgl is literally a BDSM dynamic. You cant just have the cute parts and decide to keep it all but not call it BDSM. like sure you wanna use kink terms and claim ur not kinky? Lmfao. Then step the fuck away from these terms AND THE LIFESTYLE.

Justliek you cant have your taco and eat it too.

(What the fuck are you even on about, it takes BOTH and without the other, the power/freedom doesnt exist. To say that one has more power than the other makes you look so much more foolish than you already came off as)

You can like all of those things. You can even make a community of people who like those things. The Lolita(the aesthetic kind, not the kink kind)/Gothic Lolita/Pastel Goth community has an entire network of people who enjoy those things and sometimes get to together to enjoy them together. None of it has anything to do with power exchange.

Caregiver/little and being a little is a specific head space you get into to either consensually exchange power with another individual(s), or to be in a space where you are willingly being vulnerable/submissive or powerful/dominant. Sometimes it involves others, sometimes it doesn’t. The point is that there is a play on power dynamics. It is not about the frills. Minors cannot consent to power exchange. When you are inherently in an imbalanced power dynamic, consensual power exchange cannot take place. That is the fundamental basis of the caregiver/little community, that is why you must be able to consent in order to partake in it, and minors cannot consent.

So by all means, continue to enjoy those things, even make a community out of it. But that community is not the little community or the caregiver/little community at large. That is a space for a adults. Not children. Not because it may be sexual, though that is certainly an aspect, but because it is about power exchange. However that power exchange plays out is inconsequential. What matters is that minors cannot consent to exchanging power. End of story.