Instant Regret

zeus: let's strike down entire cities using our lightning bolts

boys: but-

zeus: oh wait i forgot YOU aren't COOL ENOUGH to get lightning bolts beat that NERDS

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ares: do u even lift bruh

boy: i am 8 years old

ares: yeah well i was doing 100 push-ups at age 4 so

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hermes: ok so now you know how to successfully pick-pocket people. go out into the world, my children.

hermes: *notices his wallet is gone and tears up* i'm so proud

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apollon: ready to become the next shakespeare

boy: shakespeare is gay

apollon: YEAH WELL YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WAS GAY? MY BOYFRIEND. HE AND SHAKESPEARE ARE BOTH DEAD.

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dionysus: so does anyone want to know how the first dildo was created

boys: UM

dionysus: so as i was tripping balls on my way to the underworld, along comes this guy and he's like-

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hephaistos: okay now quickly lower the molten hot glass into the water

boy: *SCREAMS IN AGONY*

hephaistos: honestly how do you even fuck that up

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hades: pet the puppy ok.

boy: but it has three heads

hades: *squints*

hades: i knew i didn't like you