Excerpt from My Dream Act
by Cecilie Keenan and Martha Razo
[In 2016 CRDT co-founder and Artistic Director Wilfredo Rivera begins creating “American Catracho,” a piece that explores the questions What does it take to be American? What does that look like?
Among the research and inspiration upon which he’s drawing is this poem.]
I made the Crossing.
Patrol shots whizzed by my head and I separated from my group and wandered – Jesus in the desert.
With no lunch pail or donkey.
- Beyond hope-
gritty eyes,
rocks in my throat, scratched my white bones dry.
Soon I sat and waited for death to pick me up in his box truck.
I felt a wave come over me, like a sound wave but with no sound and I was lifted to my feet -‘spirit come forward to give me guidance’ - my Ouija board body dragged me toward the hills –
hearing footsteps in front of me, crunching on the dry ground but no one was there. I followed the no sound.
I walked all night and sometime near dawn I heard the chops of helicopter blades.
Duck. Hide. Get Low! My brain screamed! But the Ouiji Board grabbed hold of my feet and I ran.
I kept running into blinding shadows- then before I knew it- I was beyond lost; no idea what to expect – a dark night - few stars.
Silence. - No Silence.
Frogs croaked and the sky creaked like an old woman’s bones – I could hear the planets moving in their sockets.
Soon- a little wind came up and blew its cold fingers into my pores, one by one – breathing its breath of decay into my nose, eyes, mouth, ears – suddenly a shadow crossed the moon and a wolf howled and coyotes chuckled at me in the distance.
The hairs on the back of my neck reached out, as if they could pull me to safety.
Then the ground all around me started to pulse and vibrate. I stepped back. I held my thumbs in my fist -Mama had said, the thumb is your will and holding them stops bad dreams and juju.
Crap! She was wrong.
Desperate I made a quick circle with my foot in the sand, a small ½ chewed prayer and the area I was in -quieted.
All I heard was wind.
Then suddenly, in front of me the ground started to bubble and bend like a snake on fire – and it happened; quicksand sucked the wind into its mouth and then out came the arms bright blue with red finger nails - - then a sand colored head – the eyes flew open as he, she, it, came out of the ground! - The wind roared in approval and its massive heat leaked into my brain – the thing was now chest high – and blue like an avatar – that mess was burning.
Skin fried smell filled my nose and the creature kept coming.
Don’t think of death, don’t think of death –
Don’t,
Out,
Stop -
think death and any power you have is gone- lost.
I wanted forgiveness,
I wanted to be found,
I wanted to get the hell out of this blockbuster nightmare.
I fell to my knees and closed my eyes and I lost all sense of hope. (kneel)
Was it good?
Was it evil?
Was it real?
I woke. And all I knew is I wasn’t where I started.
I was in the hills and the beginning of green. (stand)
In the distance, a small town and from there my life changed and diverged.
