HIGH ̶S̶O̶C̶I̶E̶T̶Y̶ ANXIETY

this is no chance meeting,  is it,  [ name ]? 

take it back your homeland.

what if i were to help you reclaim it? 

that's not the worst of it.

we have another problem.

what did i tell you?  quiet as a mouse.

will you just listen?!  i'm trying to tell you there's something else out there.

the bear is unpredictable,  the man can be reasoned with.

come away from there,  it's not natural.  none of it.

it's obvious,  he's under some dark spell.

you'll be safe here tonight... i hope.

we grow in number,  we grow in strength.

death will come to all.

there are others like you? 

you're running out of time.

a darkness lies upon that forest.

i would not venture there except in great need.

go now while you have the light.

this forest feels... sick.  as if a disease lies upon it.

something moves in the shadows unseen,  hidden from our sight.

if our enemy has returned,  we must know.

i would not do this unless i had to.

you've changed,  [ name ].

you must stay on the path.  do not leave it.  if you do,  you'll never find it again.

is there no end to this accursed forest? 

we're going around in circles,  we are lost.

the sun.  we have to find the sun.

we're being watched.

they're growing bolder.

not just a thief,  but a liar as well.

i myself suspect a more prosaic motive.

i have seen how you treat your friends.

you turned away from the suffering of my people.

a hundred years is a mere blink in the life of an elf.  i'm patient.  i can wait.

did he offer you a deal? 

shh! there are guards nearby.

you were supposed to be leading us out,  not further back in!

are you mad?  they'll find us.

please.  please,  you must trust me.

this is not a nice place to meet.

why now,  [ name ]?  i don't understand.

a human sorcerer could not summon such evil.

in our blindness,  the enemy has returned.

the enemy is preparing for war.

i started this.  i cannot forsake them,  they are in grave danger.

you want me to cast my friends aside? 

i think we've outrun the orcs.

we've no weapons to defend ourselves.

do it again,  and you're dead.

what makes you think i would help you? 

no doubt you have some hungry mouths to feed.

oh,  come on - enough of the niceties.

i would like to know who you are.  and what you're doing in these lands.

we need food,  supplies... weapons.  can you help us? 

i'd wager there are ways to enter that town unseen.

for that,  you'd need a smuggler.

there was more he could have told us.

i don't care what he calls himself,  i don't like him.

we don't have to like him,  we just have to pay him.

i've been bled dry by this adventure! and what have i seen for my investment? 

if you value your freedom,  you'll do as i say.

folk in this town are suffering.

you'd do well to remember ; we know where you live.

it's a small town,  [ name ],  everyone knows where everyone lives.

who would have the nerve to question my authority? 

you promised us weapons.

death! that is what you'll bring upon us.

have you forgotten what happened to [ name ]?

let us not be so quick to lay blame.

join us when you're healed.

[ name ],  you belong with the company.

i belong with my brother.

we have no time to wait,  we're on our own.

the evil that is hidden here... i command it reveal itself.

you have keen eyes,  [ name ].

let all those who doubted us rue this day!

i know these walls... these halls,  this stone.

i do not know what you'll find down there.

it never ceases to amaze me.  the courage of hobbits.

if there is in fact a live dragon down there,  don't waken it.

come,  now... don't be shy.  step into the light.

there is something about you,  something you carry.

there you are,  thief in the shadows.

i did not come to steal from you.

do you think flattery will keep you alive? 

what else do you claim to be? 

truly,  you are mistaken.

you have nice manners,  for a thief and a liar.

i know the smell and taste of dwarf.

they are drawn to treasure like flies to dead flesh.

did you think i did not know this day would come? 

you should leave us.

and go where?  there is nowhere to go.

the dragon,  it's going to kill us.

i kill where i wish,  when i wish.

my armor is iron,  no blade can pierce me.

i need you to distract the guards.

time to do what,  to get killed? 

yes,  i'm afraid.  i'm afraid for you.

you're not yourself.

the darkness is coming... it will spread to every corner of the land.

you were only ever a means to an end.

i will not part with a single coin.  not one piece of it.

your reputation precedes you.

you have no equal on this earth.

i think our little game ends here.

so tell me,  thief... how do you choose to die? 

we've given him the slip.

there may be a way out.

it's our only chance,  we have to try.

i've heard tales of the wonders of elvish medicine.

that was a privilege to witness.

i will not die like this.  cowering.  gasping for breath.

if this is to end in fire,  then we will all burn together.

perhaps it is time i paid them a visit.

this isn't their fault!

you care about them,  do you?  good.  then you can watch them die.

i am taking back what you stole.

you will take nothing from me.

i laid low your warriors of old.  i instilled terror in the hearts of men.

this is not your kingdom.  these are dwarf lands.

revenge?  revenge?! i will show you revenge!

i am fire.  i am death.

#he’s just a baby

“i  can’t  breathe  and  i’m  fucking  scared.” 

“i  understand  but  it’s  your  own  fault,  isn’t  it?” 

“hey  man,  can  you  tell  me  how  long  it’s  going  to  take?” 

“aren’t  you  supposed  to  fucking  protect  me,  man?  jesus  christ!” 

“that’s  a  good  use  of  resources.” 

“yeah, political  geniuses  with  ideas  about  how  to  do  our  fucking  job!” 

“this  phone  duty  is  shit.” 

“tomorrow  you’re  going  to  be  back  on  the  street.” 

“i  can’t  wait!” 

“okay,  she’s  an  angry  woman!” 

“i’m  back,  sir.” 

“jesus, finally!” 

“hey,  i’ve  got  a  wife/husband,  man.” 

“i’m  just  on  business.” 

“why  did  you  call  us?”  

“ i  just  want  to  talk  to  you.” 

“okay,  i’m  hanging  up!” 

“who  is  that?”  

“yes,  i  understand.” 

“is  there  someone  with  you?” 

“do  you  know  the  person  you’re  with?” 

“do  they  have  a  weapon?” 

“have  you  been  abducted?” 

“i  have  to  hang  up!” 

“we  don’t  know  where  they’re  headed.” 

“they’re  not  here.” 

“where  did  they  go?” 

“they  just  left  me.” 

“you’re  going  to  be  okay.” 

“you  promise?” 

“i  promise.” 

“we’re  protectors.” 

“we  protect  people  that  need  help.” 

“i  get  scared  being  alone,  too.  you  know?” 

“do  your  job  and  i’ll  do  mine,  okay?” 

“i  just  have  a  few  questions.” 

“i’ve  been  an  asshole.” 

“we  should  get  a  beer  sometime.” 

“that  sounds  good,  man.” 

“you  ever  go  gome?” 

“am  i  interrupting  something?” 

“oh  god,  no.  this  is  more  boring  than  taking  a  shit.” 

“that’s  enough!  it’s  enough!” 

“what  are  you  trying  to  do?” 

“you  don’t  even  give  a  shit  about  what’s  best  for  everybody  else!” 

“i  don’t  really  think  that’s  such  a  good  idea.” 

“you  don’t  know  shit!” 

“i’m  fucking  afraid!” 

“this  isn’t  going  to  go  our  way.” 

“no,  in  here  is  fine.” 

why'd you kill the music?

lost, [ NAME ], we're lost.

oh, right, that's where we're going. i lost track like 200 miles ago.

it doesn't make you any less of a man.

just get us to [ LOCATION ] before i roll my eyes out of my head.

were there any directions on the flyer?

hey, eyes on the road!

what? no, no, that wasn't a bear.

[ NAME ], are you serious?

i really effed this car up.

the sooner we get out of here, the better.

just imagine yourself curled up by a big old space heater.

anywhere's better than here.

my god, [ NAME ], hurry up!

i heard something, okay? i wanna check it out.

hey hey hey, what's wrong? is everything alright?

it's the woods, there's a lot of stuff out there, it's easy to freak yourself out.

we're okay. we're safe in the car.

you wanna tell me what happened here?

it was so dark, and it happened so fast.

this is my first cop, like, ever.

what in the hell are you doing all the way out here this late at night?

one of us kind of oversold our navigation skills and got us completely lost.

you're not gonna make it to [ LOCATION ], not tonight.

let's hit the road, shall we?

i have like twenty years before i'm a "ma'am."

[ NAME ], don't be a dick.

what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

bring some tools so we can break the lock!

hey ... it's been kind of a night, you know?

you must be exhausted, i know i am.

there's no need to worry, i'm here to help you.

it's exciting, yes, and ... terrifying.

if you don't help me, how can i help you? we're supposed to be friends.

it's like a romanci-pocalypse.

you never know, the universe has a way of working these things out.

so she dumped your ass, huh?

you've heard of spacial awareness before, right?

spacial awareness is for nerds.

you're a bad person!

okay, really? locking me out?

one, it wasn't my idea — and two, it was really funny.

this place needs a serious overhaul.

you were telling me how you totally have a thing for [ NAME ].

uhhh, "sexy", huh?

"likes it", check, "totally not in denial", check.

the fumes of jealousy are just STIFLING over here.

you should've siezed the moment.

not gonna miss you, [ NAME ].

one more night in the great outdoors might actually kill me.

i haven't killed you, and you're still pretty pathetic.

yes, that would make you a total asshole.

one more night with [ NAME ] wouldn't make a difference, trust me.

you should save it for emergencies only. unless ... is being dumped an emergency?

i don't even know how to respond to that.

let's away from this mosquito-infested backwoods dump.

let's shape our way through this crappy lock.

i won't tell if you won't tell.

have you ever seen a bear in these woods?

oh my god, relax, it's not like we killed someone.

how are you so ... annoying? confident?

in a way, faking it is just being yourself. but louder.

you never know unless you put yourself out there.

e-mail? are you ninety-three?

scenic route? one last victory lap?

i provide very important and educational lifestyle advice.

we should probably ... you know, get back.

does nobody have phone chargers anymore?

oh my god, you are so childish.

it's just this campfire story for kids.

come on, that's like, super unchill.

five minutes? like, five minutes. that's all i need.

i try not to dwell on the past.

i think there's something wrong with the engine.

we'll just spend one more night here.

no, no! just ... stop, let me think!

who cares what [ NAME ] told us to do?

p-a-r-t- why the fuck not?

i go where my people need me.

just say you're in, come on. one last night.

someone's gotta give a shit.

you know what? i don't care what you guys do.

[ NAME ], come on, wait!

i was hoping you'd come back.

where i'm from, we look out for each other.

you'd better be going, it's still early.

for the record, your analogies are very hurtful.

i like a man who's good with his hands.

if i was a beer, where would i hide ...

how am i just noticing how super lame you are?

you think this is supposed to be funny?

moment's gone, but not forgotten.

hold that — the door will latch otherwise.

so, uh ... you're really gonna keep the gun, huh?

your wit knows no bounds.

that's weird, i thought ... i thought i heard someone.

you hear that? is that a trap door?

secret ... sex ... dungeon.

alright, well, it looks like a pit of eternal darkness.

oh my god, [ NAME ], you won't believe this ... it's ... nothing.

it's pretty spooky down here, and it smells very unnatural, so...

ooh, that's a nice chair, i could get used to this.

what if what's on the menu tonight ... is us?

well, we know where the gun is if we need it.

so, got anything going on when you get back home?

these are just— they're probably just ... trail cameras.

why go through all the trouble of hiding this room?

it's not exactly secret, is it? just kinda ... hidden by stuff.

hey, you just admitted it's a secret lair.

are you sure this is safe?

what, are you scared?

sometimes i just try to like ... let it happen, y'know?

this way i can do whatever i want and not feel bad about it.

i guess that is kind of freeing ... in a sociopathic kind of way.

this view is just ... wow.

you DON'T think that's weird?

i just realized we may never see each other again after tonight.

speaking of setting the mood, i have work to do.

playlists aren't gonna make themselves.

big jokes take big sacrifices.

woah, woah, woah, where did that gun come from?

guns are no joke, dipshit.

i guess you don't really want them then, huh?

[ NAME ], hand me that gun. now.

the main party isn't gonna die just cause you have a little side quest.

that's cause you've never shot before.

do not move a muscle, or touch this gun, until i get back.

you'll have it when i say you'll have it.

two things: remember the spread, remember the recoil.

disqualified for being a dumbass.

blam! you thought this was over?

okay! new idea: party game.

let's make some memories.

how about ... the ultimate game of secrets and lies: truth or dare?

[ NAME ] — truth or dare?

have you ever slept with anyone?

dare, gimme what you've got.

your dare comes with a choice.

always happy to please.

you and [ NAME ] go way back, right?

uh ... i don't know if this is a good idea ...

[ NAME ], seriously?

hey, i'm nobody's girlfriend.

[ NAME ], grow up.

i think that game got a little intense for me.

i was just playing along.

did you hear that? ... should we look?

i guess you found me, then.

sneaking down here was more fun when we thought we could get caught, huh?

i thought we agreed that this ... us –? was just supposed to be summer fun.

you really love fucking with me, huh?

lighten up, sourpuss, please.

fine, you can stand here sulking, or you can go grab us some towels.

"summer fun", right? well, apparently summer isn't quite over yet.

you really know how to talk to a girl, don't you?

you can't just pretend like it didn't happen.

that was some mighty fine social disruption, there.

who do you think is gonna make the first move?

if by "beast" you mean some mild-mannered baby deer.