Art Blog

Growing more comfortable with myself and how I appear, my hatred of glitter and sparkles faded; I didn't enjoy them, but I wasn't actively running from them anymore.

Growing more comfortable with you, however, has me looking forward to finding glitter on myself. Glitter covering my clothes, my skin, my hair, means it came from you. It means that we got to spend time together and I had the sparkles to prove it.

I look forward to kissing you with your glittery lip gloss, despite your hesitance, in fear of getting it all on me. I always tell you about how you leave your trail of glimmer in my car or on my clothes, acting annoyed.

been a big fan of a certain drag queen recently

ive always been crazy about keeping my cars clean

i refused to ever eat in my cars

to drink anything but water

i didnt even allow friends to vape in my car.

and then i let you in my car

you left SO much behind

the glitter on my door trim

the sprinkles fallen between the seats from the ice cream shared

the smiley face you drew on my back window

if it were anyone else i'd have it cleaned up by now.

i'd be crazy about keeping my car clean.

but the smiley face is still on my back window

the sprinkles are still between the seats

the glitter is still on my door trim.

you left SO much behind

I haven't been drawing recently so apologies to anyone who followed me expecting regular posts. Not that I intended for this account to be treated as an actual social media platform, but moreso of a compiling of my work that felt a bit more casual than something like ArtStation. It was created with the intent of being an archive that is meant to be looked back on, not something that needs to be tended to daily.

The past year or so I have been struggling with treating art like a chore, like something that I have to go out of my way to do. I've neglected my characters, my world building, my imagination. I was also doing a work program for 7 months and barely had time to sleep, let alone create. I'm back home now though, and settling in once again.

And recently I've had new people enter my life, people who have caused me to catch a spark of inspiration again. Fellow creatives who tell me about their art, their ideas, their concepts; it's all rubbing off on me. I'm slowly getting that nagging feeling back that says "I want to draw!", that nagging feeling that wants me to draw ESPECIALLY when I am physically unable to draw.

I'm getting that desire to get lost in my art again; that desire to lose count of the hours while making something. I want to lose sleep over art, staying up until ungodly hours in the night because I just want to finish this piece. I want to feel the knot in my right shoulder blade that I'd always get when hunching over my desk for too long. I want to use my tablet so frequently that I consider dropping hundreds of dollars on a new one because that one little dead zone in the middle of mine keeps pissing me off.

I want to be so invested in creating, that I spend nights crying in front of my screen wondering what I'm doing wrong. I no longer want to be aloof with my work. I don't want to be nonchalant, I don't want my modesty to be confused for satisfaction. I want to live and breathe my artwork once again.

Sorry I havent been posting much school has been kicking my butt LOL

repost bc i forgot to shade something (oops)