God

ethel cain’s entire discography is applicable to them

THE USE OF VIOLENCE AND AGGRESSION IN THE MOVIE LEVITICUS

I thought the use of aggression and violence throughout the movie was very interesting. we see Ryan’s character, especially the being in the movie being very aggressive and physically violentent. He uses it as a coping mechanism for his emotional and physical abuse he endures throughout the movie.

we first see this when he is goofing around with Naim before their first kiss. He’s kind of throw throwing shit into a shelf, Naim doesn’t really seem too interested, but he does it anyway anyways. Then he pushes Naim around and tackles him. I felt like he was almost trying to take his feelings out, like he was upset about liking Naim.

what i fucking love about this scene is that we know it's not really ryan, naim knows it’s not really ryan. there's no part about this that is naim being lulled, being seduced, being tricked, being gotcha!'d. it's not him but it wears his face; it talks like him, it caresses like him, it comes close and smiles and laughs like he would. naim is leaning in despite the danger, moth to flame, knowing full well what's in front of him and craving it anyway.

its unyielding grip around naim’s neck, holding him down against concrete so mercilessly that he feels as if his skull is being ground to dust against it. it effortlessly holds aloft a weight ryan couldn’t manage, even straining with both hands. it’s deadened, emptied eyes watch impassively as naim struggles and claws and gasps for air. that impossible weight held high and waiting to crash down, poised to turn naim’s head into a pulpy red smear. naim’s strength is clearly no match for this creature and his fear is what fuels it. so he does the thing that now feels so unnatural his entire body screams in warning—he reaches up and cups it’s mimicry of ryan’s face with a tender, gentle hand.

it freezes. it looks down at him with an expression halfway between wonder and fear. naim takes the window of opportunity to prise the lighter from his pocket with a trembling hand, and strike back.

much like the scene at the screen door, this blink-and-you-miss-it moment delivers leviticus’ theme neatly and precisely. the entity loses its power in this moment because naim isn’t giving it what it wants. he doesn’t run so it can give chase, doesn’t struggle so that it can overpower—he stands staunch against his own fear and shows the thing affection, tenderness, love. it crumbles, and naim delivers his blow.

it's established in the beginning dialogue between them:

n: "been there before? the mill?" have you ever indulged in your queerness like this?

r: "no, first time...you?" not until you.

n: "yeah, first time." me too.

r: "don't tell anyone about it--the mill." no one can know about us.

and thinking about it, it's the only place where they can unapologetically and comfortable be themselves--not just as two boys in love but as people.

they don't just share loving kisses in there, naim shares more about his father's passing and his mom's absurd obsession with God and her faith.

and i think it makes the naim & entity-ryan scene all the more important. at the very beginning when ryan and naim shared their first kiss at the mill, naim shoved him off at the sight of their reflection, afraid of what he was doing. at the end, he has to come face to face with that desire, with his queerness in the place where it all started. the place that represents him and ryan's love, relationship, their secret--and overcome that fear.

because it was that fear that brought the entity into their lives in the first place when he outed ryan. it was that fear that didn't let him fully embrace ryan when he first leaned in to kiss him and more. it was that fear that led izzie to lure ryan and naim to get beat up. it was that fear that killed hunter. it was that fear that drove ryan and naim apart at the ice rink and again when they fought.

and even though naim is scared fucking shitless, confused as fuck, and missing ryan so god damn much, he sets the mill on fire. he burns the place their secrecy belonged to, essentially burning his shame and guilt with it, making a decision to not live with fear anymore. to not let his mother get to him, to forget the way the pastor glared at him during service, the confusing emotions that led him to harm ryan and hunter by outing them.

and instead of shrinking back in fear and screaming when entity-ryan chokes him in the mill (before he gets a hold of the lighter again & starts the fire), he touches its cheek. accepting his desire--no, his love for ryan. accepting himself. and we see the entity pause, and it's at this moment that he takes advantage to end things once and for all.

he will no longer run from this. he will not let his mother's choices in faith and fear control who he is.

so he closes the window where entity-ryan tries to get to him one last time, going home instead, where his mother's car is parked in their driveway.

given his epiphany and everything he's been through, when he hears his mom's last attempts at justifying the ritual and her intentions, plus "we all need fear in our lives," naim decides he's done.

the mill is gone. naim finally stands tall. and after talking about how much he wanted to leave the shitty town his mother had dragged him to, he finally does.

and the saddest part, at least about that moment, is that it's reminiscent of the conversation naim & ryan had had in the mill at the beginning.

"there's nothing you like about this place?"

"nothing."

the family that kept him there, his mother, now meant nothing to naim. and the boy, ryan, the one thing he did like about the place, in his mind, was gone. nowhere to be found.

which makes the ending all the more perfect.

ryan isn't gone. and they now see each other in a new light.

brokeback mountain (2005)