Bender

A/N: collection of stuff I’ve written. I also don’t know what a word count is, so heads up!

Requests: Open

Current request list: 11

Fluff: 🍦

Angst: 🗡️

Personal favorite: 🛼

Smut: 🎃

I will watch Bayern vs Cologne. I can't believe I'll be seeing them next week already. Own goal? What own goal? I have no idea what you are talking about. Georgia did nothing wrong 😌 ... GRACE?? Did you just call me out and insult my non existent driving style?? 😱 I feel personally victimized. Just to prove you wrong I will become the best and safest driver ever!

Lol the German stare is definitely true! We love to watch people and judge everything and everyone around us. We're known for staring and inserting ourselves into situations. It's a cultural thing 🤷🏻‍♀️ But talking about accents, is there one you really like?

Also, here's a nice surprise I found!

https://www.tumblr.com/sabrinaspellmansleftnipple/741410595034791937/when-youre-shopping-with-one-of-your-broke?source=share

Oh Buda, I just want to give him a hug :( Sam has no need to get jealous but I would also get jealous if Buda stole your attention away from me. I love the sign for him and the picture of him on the sign too!!! I really do appreciate the translation, I can barely speak English

I hope you have so much fun at that game!!! I will definitely be watching it for my girls ;) and since we are on the lovely topic of the legend herself Georgia, her falling over the stands today killed me

Im sorry for making fun of your nonexistent driving style 😔 but you better become the best driver ever!! If it makes you feel any better, I murdered a squirrel the other day and my dash cam caught it…and I showed Jon Jon the video AND HE TOLD THE ENTIRE CLASS ABOUT IT

I thought he was lying about the German stare omg 😭 when people stare at us we usually associate that with sizing someone up, so a lot of fights usually happen because of that at my university 😭 I love a lot of different accents, but I really love Swedish and Dutch accents. That’s probably because I love listening to Vivianne Miedema and Magda Eriksson talk but oh well. one accent I cannot comprehend at is Katie McCabe’s Irish accent. Also, German accents kinda intimidate me but what accents do you like?

the folklore/evermore girlie in me nearly fell out of her chair when I found it was called "The Tortured Poets Department" like... especially when songs like 'the lakes' are literally my favorites of hers

and she literally looks so fine I cant I'm too gay for this

album cover had me convinced I was pregnant for a sec- WARLOCK MADE ME SAY IT

MY FRIEND CALLED ME TO TELL ME ABOUT IT BECAUSE I WAS ASLEEP AND THE ONLY WORDS MY GAY BRAIN PROCESSED WERE ‘TAYLOR’ AND ‘NEW ALBUM’

I am a folklore girlie through and through, so I’m excited to see what this one brings. Also, some of the title tracks are kinda questionable??

also did I respond to you or did i not? Because I genuinely can't remember 😭

Hello love!! I’m doing good, how are you doing? <3

YOU GOT 89%!?!? CONGRATULATIONS, THAT IS AMAZING 🎊 👏 Damn, I'm in the presence of a genius! But seriously, that's incredible. Look at you go! I'm proud of you for all the hard work you put into this! For that I would totally treat you to a pie so that you can taste all the deliciousness! But same tbh, I'm a very picky eater and rarely try something new. And welcome to the "Fuck Raspberries" club! Speaking about clubs, I've been neglecting the Frank Fan Club. How's my girl doing?

Hey! No Zoey slander allowed! She's a gift to humanity and deserves to be treasured! It's not our fault you can't understand our ways of thinking. Guess you just gotta keep up become as dirty minded aka interesting as us 😉

Yesss next month I'll be going to a concert and the bayern game!! I'm so excited to see the girls live! Plus, I'm starting on finally getting my drivers license, which I'm honestly dreading because it takes soooo long 🙄

Thank you so much love!!! Now I just have to wait and see if I get accepted into the program! I’m the same way, I hardly try anything new. Raspberries look like they should taste better and I will die on that hill! Frank has been doing good, if a bit evil, but that’s nothing new with her. How has my Sammy boy been doing?

Zoey deserves slander, but I will let it slide only this time! I will definitely need to become as interesting as the two of you 😼

Have fun at concert!!!! And which game are you going to watch? Also, Georgia’s own goal against PSG… good luck with your license!!! But hopefully people make sure to stay off the roads once you start driving :)

Thank you love!! And right back at you!!

💀 they were speaking a perfect English and I couldn't detect any accents so they definitely weren't Germans. Whoever they were, I hope they are living a happy topless life! And thank you for offering me a glimpse 😉

I choose to spend my final moments with you, this way I can make sure that I actually enjoy them. Ooh ice cream cake good choice!! I do love me a good lemon blueberry cake. When it comes to pies I love nougat or fruits. Basically just any cake and pie 🤷🏻‍♀️ No raspberry though. These things are disgusting and need to be destroyed!

ZOEY MY QUEEN!! 💀 the best sandwich in 2 minutes. Damn, she's got it bad. But also she's right??? Look at that picture of Alexis and tell me she isn't gay! THE BLINDFOLD 💀 I actually thought the same thing as Zoey did... I guess you, my dear, are just an innocent woman... Zoeys gay panic and her overall dramatics are pure perfection and the highlight of my day!

How have you been doing lately?

I told you to focus on those flash cards for a reason!!! Look at you go!! I’m proud of you! <3

They were probably American if I had to guess 😭 but honestly, yay for them. I would never have the balls to run around topless in a foreign country

Thank you for choosing to spend your final moments with me, that means so much 🙏🏻I have never had a lemon blueberry pie nor a nougat; I have the food palate of a 6 year old. I do agree with the raspberry!!!

Zoey is absolutely insane and she needs to be stopped. Alexia Putellas actually being a woman kisser has changed my life for the better I’m afraid. no because zoey and I were talking about how Alexia has a blue eye stare and she needs to cover her eyes, you and zoey just have a dirty mind 🙄

So today I am officially done with my apprenticeship!! I finished my presentation and got my documents. I actually managed to graduate with a solid B!! I cant belive it. 2 ½ years are done and I really passed with a good grade. Now onto an intense job search!

Also, I saw some boobies on the weekend. I was walking Nike when I heard some laughter. I turned around and boom, there were 2 foreigners having a topless photoshoot in the snow covered bushes. The boobies were right next to me. They just laughed and said it's so worth it. What a welcoming surprise that was for me.

Also, some more advice that I could gather in my "old age 😑". Always think before you speak or you will end up in embarrassing situations like me. You younglings still have it good. I can already see the white light. My days are numbered 🥹 Enjoy your youth while you still can. Random question because I'm currently eating cake: What's your favorite cake and pie??

I’m so proud of you, love!!! You’ve worked so hard and you deserve an amazing grade!! Good luck with your job searching and I’m so happy for you! <3

That is honestly the best way to start the weekend, nothing better than seeing some boobs out in the wild. I love how you included ‘foreigners’ too 😭

These ones will definitely be my last tattoos for a while. The pain is a bitch. Pro tip: don't do back to back sessions unless the artist is hot 😁

Those tattoos look amazing!! I really hope you love them as well!! I will definitely remember that tip!! Also, for whatever reason, tumlr wont let me answer the ask you had sent in a couple days ago, so I’m just going to respond to it on this one 😭

I'm so excited for both movies!! I hope my country is starring one of her movies in the theaters here. Also it's the second anniversary of scream 2022, I'm glad to see the cast united ♡ and new melissa pics!! she's so beautiful AHHHH

Im glad you’re doing alright, I hope things lighten up on you <3 there’s no need to be nervous about going back to school, but I completely understand that feeling of being nervous. I hope everything goes amazing whenever you return!

Melissa looks so good in Abigail!!!! I’m still a pussy to horror but I’ll watch because my wife looks so good🤭 (idc that I’d probably not be able to sleep afterwards cuz it worth it) I also went to rant to my mom about how good she looks in it😭

It truly is painful sometimes 😭 I am my own worst enemy

Honestly? Not continuing to watch Scream Queens is a crime, punishable with jail time but since it is you, my dear friend, I will let it slide this time.

Zoey!!! She's at it again, I really admire her unhinged behavior and feral energy. Shes everything I aspire to be. "Whore police" "Tranquilize me", "packing 13" and obviously the totally-normal-and-not-dramatic-at-all- all-caps reaction message are my favorite Zoey thoughts! I choked on my tea while reading these, she's so hilarious. Zoey is a queen and we are all nothing but humble servants in her world. Also, Bonmatí is such a cutie, she looks like she gives the best hugs! You have chosen well, she'd make a great wife.

I have a bad sore throat and on Monday and Tuesday I have to talk a lot, so I'm using that as a justified reason for eating a bunch of ice cream 😁 Which leads me to my question, what's your favorite ice cream and popsicle flavor?

Oh oh also! I bought a ticket to see the Bayern girls play in February!!

I’m doing fine, I’ve been sick the past 2 days and it’s driving me crazy because I start on Tuesday 😭 Good luck tomorrow and on Tuesday!! I believe in you! Hopefully your throat starts to feel better as well <3

I apologize for slacking on Scream Queens, but I promise to get back to watching it soon!

Zoey needs to be locked up Azkaban for some of the things she’s said, and that’s putting it lightly 😭 she’s feral most of the time, but it’s honestly pretty entertaining. Bonmatí does look like she gives the best hugs!!

again, good luck tomorrow and Tuesday!! My favorite ice cream flavor would probably be vanilla because you can all different kinds of things to make it taste differently. Favorite popsicle flavor would have to be like a purple kind. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream and popsicle?

I'm also excited for "abigail" i know its a bummer that she isnt a vampire but i have a small predication about her character maybe getting bit? 👀

Hello love!! I’m doing good, how are you? I hope things calm down for you and that you get some rest, how has school been? I also can’t wait for “your monster,” and it’s like an early birthday present for you!!