celeste.

‘ Are you ready for this journey, ____ ? _____, are you ready or NOT ? ‘

‘ This is the easiest part, okay ? ‘

‘ Do you wanna lose this pounds or NOT ? ‘

‘ Don’t give me the finger. ‘

‘ You got little feet. ‘

‘ Are you kidding me, ____ ? ‘

‘ MOVE THOSE FEET. YOUR LITTLE TURTLE FEET. ‘

‘ Is this a pit stop ? Are you serious, ____ ? ‘

‘ ____ GET UP THOSE STAIRS, NOW. ‘

‘ YOU GOTTA EARN YOUR BODY TYPE. ‘

‘ HOW IN THE WORLD AM I IN FRONT OF YOU ? ‘

‘ GODDAMMIT, ____ ! ‘

‘ HOW AM I GOING FASTER THAN YOU ? I’M IN A CAR. ‘

‘ ____ leave the salad dressing alone, there’s fat in there somewhere. ‘

‘ Tonight we are going on another run and you are not going to slack off. ‘

‘ OH, NO YOU DON’T, YOU SICK FREAK! ‘

‘ YOU STARTED YOUR DIET 19 MINUTES AGO! ‘

‘ YOU REVERSE RIGHT NOW. SLOW DOWN, GEEZ! ‘

‘ WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING ? SERIOUSLY. ‘

‘ I JUST WANTED NUGGETS. ‘

‘ YOU ARE ONE NUGGET FROM GETTING 0 LIKES ON YOUR NEXT INSTAGRAM POSTS, ____. ‘

‘ Just thinking about McDonald’s is 500 calories. ‘

‘ YOU PICK UP YOUR SANDALS AND MOVE THOSE LITTLE UMPA-LUMPA FEET. ‘

‘ Do you wanna wear a two piece or a snowsuit? ‘

‘ ____, GET UP. ‘

‘ Just ‘cause you’re dreaming of money doesn’t mean you’re making it. ‘

‘ Do you WANT this whipped cream on you ? ‘

‘ You are literally snoring your job away. ‘

‘ You are about to get fired. You’re gonna be forced to become a stripper, do you have any idea how competitive that field is ? ‘

‘ Oh my god, ____, are you still asleep ? ‘

‘ You’re a freaking sloth. All you do is eat, sleep, eat, sleep. ‘

‘ I’m not gonna chase after the car. ‘

‘ I’m mad at you, you woke me up five times. ‘

‘ I said the chicken parm was MINE. ‘

‘ I didn’t know you worked at four, you set the alarm for nine. ‘

‘ You are not getting street meat. ‘

‘ You don’t even have shoes on, you filth. ‘

‘ You’re not gonna ruin your diet for an Oscar Mayer, you freak. ‘

‘ She’s/He’s gonna get a whole grain with lettuce. That’s it. ‘

‘ Every McDonald’s knows who you are, you little Hamburgeler. ‘

‘ You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says Nug Life. ‘

‘ Why does it look like you killed a grocery store. ‘

‘ Move the shirt. Okay, stop sucking it in. WHAT THE HELL, ARE YOU PREGO ? ‘

‘ ____ did you eat my cupcakes. ‘

‘ I need you to be a snitch right now. ‘

‘ You wanna eat my cupcakes as a team, then you’re gonna run as a team. ‘

‘ Are you really choosing sleep over life ? ‘

‘ Close the light. ‘

‘ Oh my goodness, she’s a vampire. ‘

‘ Are you wearing make up to sleep ? Is there someone in your dreams I don’t know about ? ‘

‘ I honestly don’t know what takes longer, you or the new season of Orange Is The New Black. ‘

‘ ____ GIVE ME BACK MY SHOE ! ‘

‘ There is always time for sushi. ‘

‘ You’re over here making out with a chicken wing at this time ? ‘

‘ I wouldn’t care if you’d weighed as much as precious, you’d still be precious. ‘

‘ Look at you, ____. You got in trouble. ‘

‘ A shortcut ? This isn’t Mario Kart ! ‘

‘ None of this number 2 stuff. Hurry up. ‘

‘ Who do you think you are, you McThief ? ‘

‘ If I catch up to you you’re sleeping on the couch. ‘

‘ Open it slowly. ‘

‘ Why would you do that? ‘

‘ If you look closely there’s a corn. ‘

‘ Four of them fell accidentally into my mouth. ‘

‘ Are you trying to capture Hansel And Gretel ? ‘

‘ I’m never bringing you here again. ‘

‘ You and your pregnant tendencies. ‘

‘ How are you gonna become a vegan when your pillow smells like bacon? ‘

‘ I had to wake up just to wake you up. ‘

‘ You love food more than you do me. ‘

‘ You have a whole drawer dedicated for junk food. I don’t even go in there ‘cause I’m afraid of it’s Narnia like powers. ‘

‘ If you were what you eat you’d be nuggets, Kraft dinner and a vodka. ‘

‘ DO NOT PUT THE CHIPS UP THERE ! ‘

‘ You’re walking like a penguin. ‘

‘ THAT’S A BEER PONG CUP. YOU LITERAL JUST DRANK A SPORT. ‘

‘ This isn’t Coyote Ugly, GET DOWN ! ‘

‘ They have a Mario Kart ? Like, what is going on here ? Are you winning? ‘

‘ THIS ISN’T CHUCKY CHEESE, MICHAEL PHELPS, GET OUT. ‘

‘ What are you gonna do ? Walk all the way to McDonald’s ? ‘

‘ You NEED to put your shoes back on. ‘

‘ It’s a hard nug life for you. ‘

‘ You get drunk just thinking about alcohol. ‘

‘ I said tequila once and you tipped over. ‘

‘ JUST FORGET ABOUT THE HONEY BUNS, ____. YOU’RE STRONGER THAN THIS. THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU. ‘

‘ You chow down like a cartoon character. I witnessed you eat a pizza without biting once. ‘

‘ GET OUT OF THE WATER, THIS ISN’T FINDING DORY. ‘

‘ If you’re THAT desperate for change book a hair appointment and stop stealing coins, Robin Hood. ‘

‘ I’m not Noah and you’re not Ally. ‘

‘ I’m not turning on the GPS, man-tracker. Like you got lost in your own backyard, relax. ‘

‘ I understand why you got the donuts, ‘cause you suffer from Homer Simpson syndrome. ‘

‘ Are you part of some Krispy Creme club ? Do you guys meet up on Wednesdays and talk about the glaze ? ‘

‘ That’s not a purse. You’re confused- IT’S A BOX WITH STRING. ‘

‘ You can’t be hoarding them like Pokemon Collectibles. ‘

‘ I can’t believe you buried my doughnuts. Like, you’re sick. ‘

‘ You know you’re not ready to go ‘cause there’s a sale at Victoria’s Secret. ‘

‘ STOP RUNNING I’M IN FLIP FLOPS. ‘

‘ Some girl told me if I put on her clothes and started running she’d pay me 20 bucks. ‘

‘ Get out of the tree, woodpecker. ‘

‘ Hey, my man, don’t be lookin’ at my Elizabeth. You better be looking at Number Two. ‘

‘ That’s how hungry you are. That you assume it says Carter-pie when you know it says Carter-pi. ‘