Fenix

Send “slurred words” to hear my muse describe yours whilst ridiculously drunk.

“Kozzy, you don’t understand. This shit… Don’ give me tha’ look. this.. this is … She’s not natural… and like… how cool is that? She turns…. she turns into a fuckin’ space dragon… andlike… she’s so serious but this little shit…. she managed t’ prank th’ entire medical wing- you remember when Kalyani, the big orcish lass wi’ the pretty smile… y’remember when she was runnin’ about looking all scowly… more than she usually was? Tha’ was cause Miss Phoenix glitter bombed her room. Like… funniest shit ever.. and Pho had a straight fucking face th’ entire time an’ it took us a good month t’ figure out it was her, th’ little shit…”

“And like.. she’s… shes like my best girl friend.. we go drinkin’… and shopping.. like, she’s the funniest person t’ take into an apothecary’s shop.. cause she’s looking for medic shit an’ i’m in my corner gettin poisons and shit and the poor apothecary was like ‘ummm’ and she just, calm as can be, said she was there t’ make sure i didn’t kill th’ wrong people. Poor guy jus’ about had a heart attack an’ threw us out and I was so amused an’ pissed cause like… her jokes never sound like jokes! She’s incorrigible. 

“And her puns! There’s rare ans subtle beautiful gems an it takes me a week t’ realize she made a damn pun on th’ battlefield an’ i just wanna scream cause they are th’ absolute worst… worse even cause they rely on like… what you know of the local history an’ language so they’re super complex and just ugghhhhh. She’s too smart sometimes.”

“and she’s scary too. Like… fuck, watchin’ th’ two of you argue? I don’t bet on that shit anymore cause, koz, i love ya man, but she could take you. She could own you. like… Whoo boy… I don’t wanna see that fight and like.. you see her snarl? It’s like a constellation opened it’s maw and decided to give you the shotgun-wielding-dad version of hallo an’ yer some unfortunate suitor come to court his son.Always pleasant but i get the feeling she’s about to go fer someone’s neck.”

“And speakin a’ tha-.. She does this thing when she hugs? It’s sometimes a nuzzle thing an’ i’m not sure if she does that fer you or if I’m just special or if i’m just conveniently the right height for this or what, but… She just.. tucks her face against my neck an’ hugs me and sometimes there’s a little nuzzle thing and like… sends goosebumps up my neck an’ i can’t decide if they’re ‘oh yes do that some more’ or ‘omg you’re going to eat me cause i made a joke about you yesterday’. Like…yeah…”

“An’ stop laughin’ at me. I do not have a crush. I mean.. I kinda do cause she’s just like.. amazing.. you ever watch her do magic? It’s almost pornographic how she uses it… like.. holy shit the things she does with the stars and the power she wields… someone get me a fainting couch cause i got me a case of th’ vapors… You wouldn’t understand.. you don’t do magic but like… she has this.. finesse wi’ it… and…. it’s like watching a ballerina who is skilled an’ talented do footwork. Like… mesmerizing. I never saw someone who could mend flesh as prettily as she does… like… minimal scarring… and things… work as well if not better and holy shit do you know how hard that is? And she does… she knows things… about people an their bodies before you tell her.. like… no matter the species she’s… its unnatural how good she is wi’ it… Like, i gotta stick to humanoids, but she mends literally everything… you watch that an’ don’t tell me you ain’t got a bit enamoured of her cause holy shit there are skills there an talent an you aint never going t’ see that in the universe again.”

“and just… she’s… solid. we can talk.. and do real talk… she pulls people outta their depression… does it real good like… she knows.. Koz.. she knows when I’m missing my kids… knows when I’m… well.. you know.. She knows when it’s bad.. and she’s just… there. Wi’ tea and snacks and a cuddle an’ words that just… make it all right… like.. She’s th’ rock i cling to man… and yer like.. the ground tha’ supports us both.. but she’s… man.. she’s a warm rock in the sun that I just like climbin’ on and baskin in the sun on- wait… that sounds vaguely obscene… oh my god kozmotis, stop laughing. I did not mean it that way and  you know it.