C E

Especially when you’re not in the right headspace for keeping things in order…

For now I’ll settle for once every month or so

Does that seem fair?

I’m trying to keep my shit together while actively healing both physically and psychologically

Right now I’m not able to work on any projects not for lack of wanting but because my life is a mess the size akin to a small country

Physically my migraines haven’t been cooperating because of the heat and this has let to my parents to limit everything else in what I can only see as a way of drowning me in anguish in the hopes I kms or smt (they are trying to help me “grow out “ of my sickness but it has only given way to panic attacks every day and a full breakdown every week or so ). This has let to my job being postponed indefinitely (both bounty hunting and the ce’s stuff) so no more streaming for a while (even if I was loving it and looking forward to it every week) this will be my only means of communication for a while so I better start using it again…

To my friends hello and I’m sorry for not answering your texts and specially to my best friend sorry for not being able to attend your goodbye party…

In other news my father started seeing someone and I’m pissed not really about the seeing someone thing but the way he handles it he says that he didn’t harm anyone and that he’s consciousness is clean (if only that was true) completely forgetting the fisical and mental abuse he and my mother put me through not even that long ago but that’s a topic for another entry that I’ve already wrote

I prefer a calmed life a life that

I get to chose my path and how to identify and how and ho to let in

Is sad that my life has come to this and it’s all caused by myself cause I can’t handle the basics for survival in their books (even if I am not depressed nor suicidal but they’re making it worse by doing this) so I need constant monitoring and cero contact with my support system except for them and the trash psychologist that’s giving them the power to get away with this

In general I’m lonely and anxious but I’ll keep going seeking the brighter days they promised me

I’m just sad that it’s come to this

This is all for this moths update

Why am I even writing this if no one is going to read it…

Have a good day/week/month

This year has been rough but I’ve gotten better as it went on I’m grateful for all the support I’ve received from my friends and family though I’m spending the first hours of the year stressing cause it seems that my childhood care taker (my grandma on my mothers side) and my grandma (on my father side) don’t have much time left in this earth it might be one of the most heartbreaking years in the horizon also my cat lilac is hospitalized and while she will probably make it is still not the most joyful situation to start the year at.

Im at the bearch of tears but i hope i continue to grow this year and as always will keep you updated on this adventure which is my life

I'm planning to post every month once the backlog has grown to 2-3 videos, so I can have some headroom for consistency and to relax as well, and I'm also planning to stream for 4 hours a month, both on YouTube and Twitch; they may be spaced out or all at once, it all depends on my health. Which has been... not great for the most part. I started a treatment for my dystrophy (yes, I have muscular dystrophy), and it went great, but now that I'm out of it, I feel horrible, and my migraines have gotten a lot worse cause I've been in school for a month, and the stress is killing my ability to function at the same pace as always from overbearing work to stress induced migranes im not having a good time ive also injurred my unular nerve wich is causing me allot of pain so i need to wear a wrist strap and got sick two times in a month so its basicly a chronicly ill persons dream

but enough sulking, it's time to get back into the swing of things. I've planned 3 videos and 2 announcements, which are coming before the year ends, from a coffee shop update to a BIG thing that's going to happen in the not-so-far future.

so rest assured that for the end of the year, c_e will be back in town

I wish it just become terminal or disappear completely

TLDR; I been working but have been overwhelmed so decided to take some time to rest before starting with school

I released a screenshot from the video I’m working on it’s going well but animating the background it’s kinda hard I’m going to continue once things calm down a bit

Im starting a new treatment it’s tiring and needs me to travel to another city in order to take it today I couldn’t move for a while cause of it. It’s quite painful but it’s helping and it’s only for 3 more weeks so it’s worth it imo

Im starting in a new school in a couple weeks too it’s kinda stressful but it should help managing my migraines and general wellbeing

This is all for now it hasn’t been very productive weeks but I really need some rest after some family drama so that’s the plan for the next week and then back to work have a good day/week/month but not year(hopefully) be kind helpful and loud and

Working on a background

so lets sstart with the bases;

I finished up with the brand of the coffee shop and now we are in the planning stage of opening. Any ideas to do with alchemy and or secret menus are welcome

my sister just graduated and moved out to a different city, and I've been helping her move and celebrating with her so thats why i havent have time to write anything let alone an entire update

I might be moving soon as well to a beatifull place with a garden full of fruit trees and i love it i really hope to be there but if not its no biggie

ive been coding a bit training upn a neural network to answer spam text and unsubcribe from those services for me it havent been easy but its quite a fun project dough its also just letting my laptop work in the background learning from a burner acount that i set up for it

the character I'll use for videos is almost ready, and it's quite cool to see myself in this chibi art style. just give me a copple of days so i can rest before working on my intro video

Things have been chaotic this couple of weeks(?, I don’t really know how much time has passed since the last one)

I’ve been fine but my energy levels have been in the floor so I haven’t done much in terms of work

In that front I’ve finished updating my organizer and feel more comfortable doing things like that now

And that’s about it I’m going to add a foto of my cat lilac to maybe lift someone’s day

Have a good weekend and ed out-

Im exhausted but happy all around it’s been a tough couple of weeks and my migraines haven’t let me do really difficult stuff but during theses times of migraine and caffeinated madness I decided to work on stuff that future ed will tank me for like organizing my computer and starting work on the character I’ll be using for videos(at least ask a friend to help me out with it lol), so things have been going well in the grand scheme of things I hope that next week I’ll have more free time and energy to finish things like the script and the coffee shop brand I’m also starting a new gig as a barista in the future weeks so I’m really excited for that

Im also viving to Jon Bellions new album and I’ll try to include some opinions on later updates about it

TLDR; things are going well but slow next week I hope to work on some projects and that’s about it.

Well that’s about it

Hope you have a wonderful pride month if you celebrate and I really hope that you’re kind to yourselves

Tomorrow I’ll work in this project hope it goes well

Today they’ve send me the latest draft of the coffee shop logo so be ready for that

This week has been pure chaos and I just don’t have the energy to continue with this project at the moment. I’ll still update every month but it’s gonna be shorter.

Now to the update it self Ive started a new job as a barista in a local coffee shop and im learning allot from it but it has taken all my time so things like this are going to be less interesting cause its just going to be coffee talk for a couple months (3 to be exact) so i think im going to take a break until its over. On the flip side we have a company name I can’t reveal it just yet but its really cool and i will continue working on this in the background for a while as well. Well that’s about it for this month but ill keep you in the loop when posible

Thanks for reading

(My migraines didn’t allow me to write this yesterday lol)

I’m doing quite well right now and have been working hard on the goal of opening my business. migraines have died down and my mental state is somewhat stable. This month I’ll be going back to Mexico to get my basic barista license from the SCA (which I’m super excited for). Then there’s the diaries project which I feel confiable enough to go full steam ahead and work on it with more certainty. To be clear it’s still a back burner project and it’s not going to be my main focus but I’m confident that I can spend time and get my personal online presence running once again.

Went to Veracruz to learn about coffee and met some amazing people!

I love good quality coffee so you can imagine how much I enjoyed the trip

And good news keep un coming I will probably open a coffee shop/mixology bar in the following years

In other news I still have migraines almost daily but that isn’t stopping me and my wisdom teeth are getting kicked out of my mouth tomorrow so wish me luck!