life's paradox
http://cnn.it/1twOcmv
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life's paradox
http://cnn.it/1twOcmv

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dockside conversations
why are you so sad? i'm not. why are you so sad? i'm not. why are you so sad? i'm not.
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One of those nights where you just want to buy a plane ticket and move to a new city because of the lost of faith in the people who surround you. When family are really the only people you can trust to be there for you and everyone else is just watching and waiting for you to slip and fall.
;
Dearest deary tumblr, i really enjoy being optimistic but it's really been a horrible week. Literally almost fainted at school during a break for my class in front of Blenz which was all of feeling sick and embarrassed all in one. Wanted to get some tea but instead the barista got me security which brought me to the first aid room. Couldn't see a thing in front of me. It was really horrible. But the barista who helped me and the security guards who helped me were all really nice. Went around the next day and delivered them thank you chocolate bars :). That felt good. But ya, i guess even in the worse of situations, something good or interesting happens. So I couldn't go back up the three flight of stairs back to my class because I couldn't walk. One of the guards went up and grabbed my things and another one kept me company even though I was just laying on the bed dying a little. He was really nice when I did talk to him though, his name was Buddy, isn't that cute? Anyways, he's a full time security guard but in his own time he's an author. He's reading a book by Steven King on how to write and he himself has been writing a novel for the past 8 years. He says that he's going to publish it under a fake name though because he doesn't want to be famous himself, but rather have his work be famous. How rare and how genuinely beautiful. It's kinda crazy how we can walk by so many people and see them every day yet know nothing about them. Life's little stories make life itself worthwhile. But ya, so as I laid there waiting for the advil to kick in to ease my pain, he was just sitting there reading. For an entire hour. I know it's his job to keep me company in case the situation got worse and I needed more help or smth so legally I think he has to be there, but I was just really appreciative of him and his presence even though I was such poor company. Anyways, so that day was bad because a) almost fainted b) missed the last third of my lecture c) had to apologize to my prof the next day (it's a pretty important lecture) even though he was more understanding than I anticipated and d) felt bad for my team members because I felt like I was being irresponsible and bailing. But the week didn't get too much better. So I have a lot of due dates coming up and scheduled my weekend perfectly to complete everything on time. But during my group meeting with my case cohort team, 90% into finishing the powerpoint, my laptop freezes. Like always, I restart it. Yet not so much like always, it doesn't get anywhere past the apple logo... and then this block sign replaces the apple logo. Ended up having to cancel my plans that night to go to the apple store. Turns out my hard drive is dead. All the hours of work I've put into doing the wireframes for work the past 3 days and powerpoint presentations will definitely not make it for monday's deadline. Currently remaking the entire powerpoint and ended up having to e-mail my boss to let him know that the wireframes won't be done on time. Which is a real bummer because the developers need to work on the app and deadlines are so crucial. I absolutely hate feeling irresponsible and everything bad that's happened this week made me feel all the more irresponsible. I hate letting people down. hate hate hate letting people down. Anyways, another poopyish thing happened but I won't talk about it here. poopy week. let's write it out and leave it behind. poopy poops mcpoops.
I love this song.
Such poetic lyrics. On the corner of main street Just tryin' to keep it in line You say you wanna move on and You say I'm falling behind Can you read my mind? Can you read my mind? I never really gave up on Breakin' out of this two-star town I got the green light I got a little fight I'm gonna turn this thing around Can you read my mind? Can you read my mind? The good old days, the honest man; The restless heart, the Promised Land A subtle kiss that no one sees; A broken wrist and a big trapeze Oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind 'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine Before you go, can you read my mind? Itâs funny how you just break down Waitin' on some sign I pull up to the front of your driveway With magic soakin' my spine Can you read my mind? Can you read my mind? The teenage queen, the loaded gun; The drop dead dream, the Chosen One A southern drawl, a world unseen; A city wall and a trampoline Oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind 'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine Before you jump Tell me what you find when you read my mind Slippinâ in my faith until I fall You never returned that call Woman, open the door, don't let it sting I wanna breathe that fire again She said I don't mind, if you don't mind 'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine Put your back on me Put your back on me Put your back on me The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun When you read my mind

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We assume others show love the same way we do â and if they donât, we worry itâs not there.
(via mistr-brightside)
Dear Cutie-Pie,
Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was âHow to keep him interested.â
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to âkeep him interested.â
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soulâin that unshakeable place that isnât rattled by rejection and loss and egoâthat you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesnât need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:
I donât care if he puts his elbows on the dinner tableâas long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then canât stop looking.
I donât care if he canât play a bit of golf with meâas long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I donât care if he doesnât follow his walletâas long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
I donât care if he is strongâas long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
I couldnât care less how he votesâas long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
I donât care about the color of his skinâas long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
I donât care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religionâas long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:
You.
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to âkeep him interestedâ is to be you.
Your eternally interested guy,
Daddy
Happy International Womenâs Day
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I don't remember the last time that I cried. I get sad a lot, but I really put effort into holding myself together and not crying. It's sad because there's truth in that quote that floats around the Internet 'we accept the love we think we deserve' and just with everything that has happened growing up, my inability to love refrains me from being close with other people and thus resulting in my inability to receive love. I cannot take what i cannot give. It really is a sad, sad cycle, being this distant from the world.

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annoyed.
People who ruin the definition of thankful. Stop throwing it around if you don't mean it.
(via gamfratesi-workshop-09)

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mild.