I drank like 1.5 litres about an hour before the appointment, and by the time I got there I was already barely able to keep still, and it was still 15 minutes before my appointment time. I was staring at the clock the whole time I was waiting, feeling my bladder stretch more with every minute until my legs were literally shaking, fucking praying they'd be on time

And of course they weren't. Five minutes after my appointment time, my whole body is shaking and I can feel my face getting red, my bladder is pulsing and aching and I'm wondering how the fuck I'm going to get through this appointment whenever they finally do call me

And then I feel my muscles starting to relax, completely involuntarily, and I realize I'm literally actually about to piss myself, involuntarily, for the first time ever, in a waiting room full of strangers

So I leaned over and asked this dude who was waiting for his girlfriend if he could tell them I'd be right back if they called for me, and wobbled my way to the bathroom. I tried to only let a little out at first, but when I stood up I still felt like I was about to wet myself so I ended up letting out maybe a third of what my bladder was holding

When I got back to my seat the guy told me they hadn't called me, and he was kind of laughing a little. I don't blame him tbh, I'm sure I was visibly embarrassed and he'd seen me rush to the bathroom

So another 10 minutes go by, and by that time I'm wondering if I'm going to have to go to the bathroom again because my bladder feels like it's full to the fucking brim again, but now it's almost worse because I'd teased it earlier. I fucking refuse to squirm or look visibly desperate in public, my social anxiety will absolutely not allow it, but I was so close to it oh my god. My legs were shaking again, I was just trying to keep my breathing steady and my bladder was pulsing, over and over

And then the nurse comes out and finally calls for me. She asks how my bladder is doing, and I'm like "oh haha hanging in there, you know"

So then. She starts pressing on it with the wand, and I'm gritting my teeth to just survive the next few minutes, and she's like "oh, wow, you're really full. I'm getting some great pictures here, you went above and beyond!"

So that's how I got a good grade in full bladder, something that is both normal to want and, fucking apparently, possible to achieve lmfao

This is the control room, and if you look closely, you'll see a dark stripe in the carpet running the perimeter of the room. This was referred to as the "velvet rope," and absolutely NO ONE was allowed to cross it without authorization. It was under constant observation from an adjacent office, and I was told that if someone did set foot inside without permission, things got VERY serious VERY quickly.

This is one of the computer stations, and to me, it's such a gorgeous encapsulation of its period of technology, the sort of aesthetic that shows like Lost will bend over backwards to recreate.

As I was scouting, I noticed the day calendar had last been torn off about when the plant closed for good...

Then we went into the nuclear reactor, and the whole damn thing was just so spooky.

Looking back, I think it came from an overwhelming feeling of utter insignificance in the face of the sheer power this colossus was designed to produce.

The scale was just so out of proportion to every day reality, the sort of place where a weight of "46000 LBS" is just casually noted on the side of a part.

Peering into where the core would've been, all I could think is that I'd never want the job where you have to climb down that ladder on the left while this thing was in operation.

If you're interested in seeing more, you can find my full tour here!

https://nickcarr.com/scouting-a-decommissioned-nuclear-power-plant/