Putting an End to the Butchery

“You will have less people who will try to control you when you become a soldier, but that sect will be replaced with an entirely new sect. You need to live for yourself first, or you’ll risk being led about by the nose by others my dear.” Sonja understood Alexia’s line of thinking, she’d been similar at one point in her life. Desperate to escape the expectations thrown upon her to be a Princess and a Elder, she’d dedicated as much of her time as she could to training and leading the death dealers. But she’d still had manipulators to handle, and others doubting her resolved twice as much before. You couldn’t appease others, not all of them at the least.

It pained to her to see how surprise Alexia looked whenever she was shown kindness or gentleness, the poor woman had truly been terribly mistreated for others for far too long. The coven wanted a scapegoat so they would not have to admit to their own flaws, and how their own negligence and prejudices had led to the deaths of so many–they sought to make Alexia that scapegoat, and the Elder vampiress was having absolutely none of it.

“We all have our bad days Alexia, have you ever wondered some days why none can find me unless its a dire emergency? I retreat to isolation sometimes, there are days were quite frankly, I cannot tolerate anyone’s company. It’s knowing when to take the time you need to decompress, or buying into someone else’s bullshit. You are not to blame for the counsel’s negligence that worsened the affects of the Purge over the covens, and you are not to blame that they opted to continue on a war many knew was false with Kraven’s betrayal.”

Sonja tilted her head to the side and considered it carefully. Var Dohr was certainly more peaceful than the Eastern Coven, and she could request that Lena keep an eye on Alexia and help her settle in. Most of those in need of healing, either of body or of mind, had opted to go there to get their feet back underneath them. The tranquility of the Nordic Coven was a balm to many wounded souls, Selene was a good example of how a reprieve there could ease any burdened heart. Yes, she was quite certain Alexia would do well there, but she did wonder if the younger woman would settle there permanently.

“I do not see why that would be an issue, I can speak with Lena about it and ensure that someone from Var Dohr would help you reach it’s gates safely and adequately prepare you for the…culture shock shall we say. I do think you’d heal well there, Alexia dear.”

Alexia never  knew what it meant to live for herself. She had always been at the will of others, even if it was as Death Dealer, in a different regard to what she was used to. She always was trying to make herself stronger, and do what she thought was right, but she should have realized that the words of the coven and eventually from Marius was manipulating her too. She never truly knew who she was. How could she when from birth she was a toy for everyone else to use. 

“I thought maybe I would be free from the control I was so used to, but instead I fell into a whole different kind of it.” She felt like an idiot. She refused to let some people have control over her, so another group of people came in and made everything so much worse. “I’ve never known a life where I could just be me. I realize this now. I went from being the idea child, to the idea soldier and pawn in a plan. I don’t entirely... know who I am.” Not in the full sense, especially now that she had the words of the coven in her ears, calling her a traitor and everything else. That label was as much a part of her identity now as anything else. 

She couldn’t deny the way that her heart broke when she heard what Sonja went through. However, she wasn’t surprised by this fact. The little she knew about the horrors that she went through made sense to as why she was like this. For sure, Alexia had noticed the days when Sonja would disappear and wouldn’t be seen for a time before re-emerging like nothing happened. She had always been curious but never would ask in order to respect her privacy. 

Relief washed over her when Sonja affirmed that it was a good idea. She was happy to know that she had someone’s support in this quest. She heard that the Nordic coven did wonders for the mind, and that was what she needed. She needed a chance to find herself, and the long lasting nights would help as she could go outside for extended periods of time without fear of burning. She didn’t necessarily want to leave the coven that was her home for so long, but she needed it.. 

ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ// @cautiousbutfoolish​

Sonja sighed softly, wondering herself how long Alexia would beat herself up over this. Perhaps as long as she believed everyone blamed her, even if many knew now how the poor thing had been manipulated equally by both Semira and Marius in turn. It wasn’t Alexia’s fault that the coven had almost fallen; that blame was solely settled on the purges gradually weakening it more, and the constant pointless war with the lycans had caused the covens to be surrounded with enemies on all sides. That it was Marius attacking the coven had been what caused such a need for repairs was truly unfortunate, but it just as easily might have been a raid done by the humans running Antigen wanting to ‘cleanse’ away more vampires during the daytime.

“My dear girl, you simply must cease this self flogging of yours. You were young, and wanted to be loved. You thought he did, and he took full advantage of that naivety. So did Semira, they both played you, but you are not a fool and you are full aware those actions were wrong. You regret your actions, and I doubt without outside forces whispering into your ear, that you would do such a thing again.” She scolded gently, reaching out to gently touch the younger woman’s cheek in a sisterly manner. Alexia was a well trained deathdealer, but also a very young vampire. Sonja was hardly surprised she’d made such rash decisions, she’d seen similar things happen in the past with panicked nobles and soldiers in her past.

“You were a soldier my dear, following the orders given to you by a regent and the direction of a man you thought loved you in return. Your heart may be conflicted but your heart is pure. Let yourself heal, and learn from this to perhaps question the orders given to you a little, what motive lies behind them and such. You will meet someone one day, who will look at you as if you are their entire universe. You deserve nothing less than that, not some scoundrel such as Marius was.”

Some days were better than others for Alexia, and today happened to be a particularly bad one. She had managed to at least get out of bed, but the coven seemed particularly vengeful today, which lead Alexia to try and isolate herself as best as she could, at least for the time being. She should have known Sonja would at least try and get her to talk about things, which lead her to lamenting about her loneliness and her flaws leading her to this point. The vampire princess was honestly a good friend to her and did a lot to make sure she didn’t wallow in self pity too long. 

“I’m naive and I thought that just maybe, people wouldn’t take advantage of me once I became a Death Dealer.” She laughed tiredly, knowing how stupid that must have sounded now. But she had been idealistic, especially given her history with people stepping all over her. The touch to her cheek shocked her and she lifted her head for a moment, tears shining in her eyes. “I apologize, I promise I have been trying to get better about this, but today is just... a bad day.” The coven’s words... her own darkened thoughts... it was a lot for her to handle in one day. 

Meme (x) l Accepting l @wcrstarter

It pained her to see Alexia react like this, that perhaps she’d never experienced positive attention like this, or received maternal or platonic affection before from another individual. Sonja almost drew the younger vampire in close, but was wary of upsetting her future. Her reaction was telling to the Elder, even if she didn’t disclose why she had reacted the way she had to her.

“I can let go, if I am making you uncomfortable.” She offered, loosening her arms and studying her for a moment. She wasn’t sure if she should try to hold her, or whether it was better to speak to her in english over Hungarian. “You deserve to experience positive affection, to be loved both platontically and romantically one day Alexia.”

Alexia froze when she said that she would let her go. A moment of anxiety shot through her at the mere idea that she would be left alone again. She wanted to voice her thoughts, to tell her that she wasn’t making her uncomfortable, just that she really had no experience with positive touch and that this felt weird, but a good kind of weird. A new experience that she was happy to have. Finally, she found her voice again.

“That’s simply not the way I do things.” she told her. “People come to me first, not the other way around. I do flirt, just very subtly, it’s not my fault you were unable to pick it up.”

“But yes, I’m rather fond of you, Alexia.” Semira admitted.

“Never see you again? Well that’s the exact opposite of what I want.” Semira spoke in a soft purr. “You see, I want to watch you suffer for all you’ve done. Betraying me the way you have. Betraying our entire coven. I’ve known about your actions for a long time, if I never wanted to see you again, I would’ve gotten rid of you the first time I caught you plotting with Marius.”

@cautiousbutfoolish​ asked: “Let me go. Please.. Please let me go…”

“Why should I?” Semira asked, glaring down at the caged vampire. “It’s because of you that Marius was able to infiltrate our coven. You’re lucky I don’t kill you.”

“That’s only because you annoy me sometimes, but everyone does that.” she told her. “As for why you haven’t seen my attention for you, I typically don’t let you see.”

ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ// @cautiousbutfoolish​

Of all the reactions the elder vampiress could have anticipated for Alexia to give her, Sonja had not considered this one. Shock filled her at first then maternal instinct rose up and she held the younger woman closer to her, and gently stroked her hair to soothe her.

“Ó kedvesem, sajnálom.” She crooned softly in her ear, “I didn’t mean to frighten you, shhh, it’s alright. You’re going to be fine.” Alexia’s reaction trully worried Sonja, had she never been shown human (or rather, vampire) kindness before in her life? Were vampires so hesitant to share affection with one another in this modern age? Sonja could recall plenty of times she would embrace her brothers or sisters in arms when they returned from a patrol, glad to see they fought on. 

Perhaps this would explain why vampires were considered such a frigid race, if they were hesitant to show affection between friends anymore.

“I am sorry that I scared you, please forgive me.”

Alexia was trembling a bit as Sonja held her. She didn’t know how to respond to any of this really. She never knew a kind, motherly touch like this one. Her mother died bringing her into this world, and from there she had never known kindness outside of a few of her fellow death dealers, but even then it was just a reassuring touch or a celebratory pat on the back. She didn’t even have a mate to call her own. 

The Hungarian surprised her and her eyes closed for a moment. It had been some time since she had heard anyone speak in her native tongue. She had learned both Hungarian and English at an early age, but since she came to the coven, they all spoke English. “Y-You didn’t frighten me,” Alexia tried to reassure Sonja through her cries, and she was amazed to be able to get it out before she broke down. “I’m n-not scared.”

“Well, I rather enjoy this new boldness.” she spoke, her grin widening. “You see, I thought you might not be interested in me.”

“I dare say you’re flirting, Alexia. Unusually bold for you.” she murmured. “I like it.”

“Don’t you like it?” Semira spoke in a delicate tone.

Of course Semira felt the brush, though she assumed that Alexia had done this on purpose. She turned to face the younger vampire, a small grin upon her lips.

“I noticed that.” she informed her with a chuckle. As if to return the gesture, Semira grasped Alexia’s face, carefully sliding her finger down to her neck.